The Gift of Recovery - Re-Vamped
by KNeu21
Summary: (RV4)Sequel to 'TGoHumanity-RV' - Set during Breaking Dawn: (RE-VAMPED VERSION) After more than her share of set-backs, Leandra struggles to set her sights on learning to overcome her fear, while facing more issues- Both within the family, and within herself. Can she open her eyes and see the things she's meant to see; Present and Future? NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Opening chapter time!  
** **Let's see.. What do I usually put up here? Gah it seems like it's been forever.  
** **DiSCLAIMER!: No part of the Twilight Saga or anything it entails is mine! Only the characters I invented are mine, which represent no real person in any way, and never will. Just thought I'd throw that last part out there.  
** **Uhm..  
** **I don't anticipate anything too rough in this story, but how often has that changed? I'm rating this fic 'M' as a precaution, and if I do stumble across a rough chapter, it'll have my trademark 'ImPORTANT NOTE' at the top, so keep watch for those.  
** **I believe I covered much of what I needed to cover. If not, oh well. You get the gist of what I'm trying to say.  
** **Okay.  
** **Proceed.**

 **Chapter One**

I couldn't understand. An odd sort of confusion clouding something I wasn't getting.

Abruptly, I sat up in my bed, just like I had in the dream I'd been having. My breathing a little quick, I looked around my room, the mid-morning, usually cloudy daylight filtering in from behind my curtain. My room was empty, just my room. Plain as it always was, still new to me, but still my room.

I sat there, trying to wake myself up a little more and actually listening for my name again. Disoriented from just waking up, I waited.

I hated waking up so confused. I wasn't quite sure what was going on with my dreams lately. I'd had this dream for the last few days, and though it was preferable to my other, far more horrible dreams, this one confused me in an uncomfortable way.

It wasn't so much of a dream, as a feeling I woke up with. A sensation? A thought.

Someone was calling my name. That's all I was able to gather from the fragments left over, was my name being called. It was the oddest thing. I always woke with the reaction I'd have if someone was calling me, interest piqued, ready to respond, but it'd never happened and I'd never actually heard anything at all.

This was so different from any other dream I'd had recently, so I had actually no idea how to go about figuring it out. I wanted so bad to figure it out, but I couldn't allow myself time to concentrate on that.

The boys were up too. I could hear them talking in the other room. I could hear the sink running downstairs, meaning Heather was already up and making breakfast for us, but she clearly hadn't been the one to call my name, so it wasn't her that woke me up. I doubted Mike was awake yet, and the boys were both still in their room.

I took a few more moments to rub my eyes and wake up a little, before I got moving. The daily struggle. I had plans for that bathroom.

I hadn't felt up to getting a shower the night before, so I needed one today. I jumped out of bed, opening my bedroom door just as the boys' bedroom door opened up the hall. I darted forward, sprinting into and slamming the bathroom door just a second before Josh reached it. I was closer, so I was faster.

"Hurry up in there." He was practically pleading, slapping the closed door with the palm of his hand, "I don't want to have to go outside again because dad's in the shower!"

"At least you _can_ go outside." I called back, "Back off." If I was nice, and let him go first, that automatically meant Zack got the bathroom next after him, and that'd make me last to get anything done, and probably last to eat. That didn't work, since I was usually really hungry in the morning.

I took pity on him, though, and moved as fast as I could. Coming back out less than ten minutes later to him shoving his way passed me with a whine.

"Pushy." I snapped at the suddenly re-closed bathroom door.

"I can hold it." Zack had wandered out into the hall, shrugging. I worked on towel drying my hair, fluffing the towel about my head roughly. Mornings were always like this.

"What's with all the door slamming out here?" Mike wandered from the room he shared with Heather, obviously having just woken up. It was pretty early, and though I felt bad for waking him up, I'd had reason to hurry into the bathroom the way I had. I turned, tossing the my used towel into the washer, since I couldn't hang it up in the bathroom without waiting a year.

"We need another bathroom." Zack muttered, "Like it always is." That wasn't news to anyone.

"I'm starving." I muttered in response, turning and wandering downstairs.

Having spent the last two weeks here with Heather and the boys, I'd have been lying if I said it was easy so far. Despite it being almost easy in the beginning, when this arrangement became more permanent, things started to change. Little things, nothing major, but those little things easily became big things if allowed to.

Today, though, there was a week and a half long trip to New York to visit Mike's sister in Rochester planned. I wanted it to last longer, but we had to be back in time for the very dreaded wedding coming up. The thing that sent me running, Edward and Bella's wedding was still on, and I didn't approve, but then again, that wasn't my life anymore. This was my life, fighting over bathrooms and trying to find my footing in a place like this.

Leaving today, the second to last day of July, we'd return around the ninth of August. I learned they were pretty strict when it came to schedules, so I wasn't that worried about being gone too long. Unfortunately.

Once we returned, I'd still have three or four days to recover before the day of the wedding. I'd heard talk about me being requested to stay with my family two days before the wedding, but as far as I knew, that hadn't been confirmed.

We'd take a few days to get to New York, spend a few days there, and another few days coming back. It was supposed to be about a two full day drive one way, so I had a lot of back seat time to look forward to. Josh mentioned that it usually took them about three full days to get there, what with stopping for the night, bathroom and food stops, and general leg-stretching to avoid murdering each other in the back seat.

I'd lived through that trip twice, and though I wasn't looking forward to sitting in the back seat for so long, I was interested to learn more about Mike's family. I knew pretty much everything there was to know about Heather's family, but almost nothing about Mike's. Aside from the fact that Mike had gotten into a fight with his dad when he was eighteen, and came all the way here because of it. He met Heather, and just never went back.

Mike's sister's name was Robin, and her husband's name was Scott. Together, they had three kids. Two girls, ironically enough, and one boy. The boys' cousins, named Taylor, Ryanne, and Daxton. Ryanne's name pronounced like the boy's name Ryan, but supposedly the girl version, all because of the stupid spelling. I didn't get the difference when they sounded exactly alike, but that could have just been me.

Taylor was my age, just turning eleven in May, but Ryanne was nine and Daxton had just turned seven. From what I heard, we'd all be crammed in the same room as them to sleep while we were there. Just to save money on hotel rooms. All of us kids in the girl's room, and Mike and Heather in Daxton's room. This was going to be fun.

Since it was still summer for a few more weeks, Mike decided it'd be a good idea to camp at least once along the way. I'd never really been camping before, so I hadn't the slightest clue what to expect, other than bugs and sleeping on the ground. Zack said something about tents, but that didn't ease me much. He said that tents usually keep all the bugs from crawling all over you while you slept, but the word I heard most was 'usually'. I didn't care. If I woke up to find a giant spider staring at me with its however-many eyes, I'd scream bloody murder.

I wasn't entirely sure if my family would follow me around, making sure I was okay, but I hadn't exactly asked. I wasn't brave enough to ask. I felt bad enough with asking them to stay in my life at all. That was a lot to ask of them, considering it had been my choice to leave, but then again, they seemed pretty determined to prove to me that it wouldn't turn out the way I feared it would.

It seemed to me that my family had chosen to continue treating this whole arrangement as temporary, where as I treated it as permanent until something changed that. I was mixed up as it was. I didn't need that sort of instability in my life, but I also hadn't exactly had much of a chance to stop and think about it too much. I'd just continue doing all I could to adjust here, which was getting increasingly difficult with each passing day.

For now, however, I needed to get through today. One day at a time.

Sure enough, Heather stood in the kitchen downstairs, stabbing and flipping pieces of bacon in the skillet on the stove with a fork. I bounced closer, and stole a piece of cooked and cooled bacon sitting on the plate to the side.

She jumped at my sudden arrival, laughing a little.

"Goodness, you scared me." She sighed, "You just pop up out of nowhere."

"I'm good at that." I replied, finding my usual place at the table, "Sorry I scared you." Truthfully, it wasn't hard to startle Heather. I moved so silently without any effort on my part, so I was always startling her. I was quickly learning that she was as jumpy as I usually was.

"Sleep well?" She asked, turning to look at me over her shoulder.

"Could have been better." I admitted, nibbling on my piece of bacon, "But not too bad." It could have been a lot worse.

"I'm sorry." She said, glancing back at me again, "Want to talk about it?"

"Nah," I sighed, "It's okay. Just some weird dreams." Weird, and very confusing.

"Let me know if you change your mind." She requested, "You know I'll listen."

"I know." I did know, "But it's okay." Boy, how that would go? Trying to explain to Heather what went on in this mind of mine would be impossible. Her believing me would be even more impossible.

"So are you excited?" She asked, looking back at me.

"A little." I laughed, "But nervous too. What if they don't like me?" I'd expressed that worry from the moment I first heard about this little trip. I always worried about whether or not someone was going to like me, but before, I'd just cover that up with the want to kill them. Oddly, I couldn't find that want anymore. Just the nervousness.

"You don't have to be nervous." She assured me, "I know they're going to love you."

"I hope so." I mumbled, "I'm not good with new people." Understatement, but I was willing to try. For once.

"I know." She replied, "Neither am I, so you can just stick with me if you get too uncomfortable, okay?" I nodded, appreciating that.

"Mom," Josh came into the kitchen, announcing the arrival of all the boys, "We need another bathroom. Seriously." Zack followed him closely, Mike following them a few steps behind.

She sighed, this conversation having been had multiple times in the last month and a half. Since I'd been here, it'd quickly become an issue. This wasn't a secret to anyone.

"I know, Josh." She said, "But right now there's just no room in the budget to move. You'll figure something out that works for you guys. For now, just use our bathroom if you have to."

"But-"

"No buts." Heather said, "Now, sit down and eat." Zack stole the open seat next to me, and though I looked over at him, I didn't mind. As long as he behaved himself, things would be fine, but I highly doubted he'd behave. He didn't know the meaning of the word. Heather placed a plate in front of him and Josh, respectively, a third in front of Mike, who thanked her quietly.

"When we do move," Zack said, picking up his fork, "I want a house with a pool."

"Then can I have a bucket?" Josh asked.

"Ew." I muttered, frowning over at him.

"It sucks really bad waiting for her to get out before I can go in." Josh reasoned, watching Mike give him a look.

"Well, if she's in the shower," Zack spoke up, "Just go in."

"No." Both Josh and I replied at once, and I was more than glad Josh seemed to agree with me. Was Zack out of his mind?

"There's a curtain in the way." Zack insisted, "She can't see you, you can't see her. What's the big deal?"

"It's gross." I said.

"And it's weird." Josh added.

Zack shrugged, "I just thought I'd bring it up."

"You guys can just use our bathroom." Mike brought up again, his tone suggesting he wanted to put an end to the discussion.

Josh rolled his eyes, "But if you're still sleeping-"

"Just be quiet." Mike said, "Don't come through the room like a herd of elephants, and I won't care. Besides. The arguing in itself is enough to wake me up."

Josh couldn't argue with him there. The arguing was almost a daily thing at that point. I had no idea when I started getting territorial over the bathroom in the mornings. It had just become a regular occurrence.

"Now eat your breakfast." Mike told him, and that changed the subject. Though Josh seemed to continue to pout, there wasn't much he could do about it.

Mike was a firm guy, but not unfair. I realized that now.

It never ceased to amaze me how often these boys had to be told to eat, though. If I was told to eat, I ate. It wasn't an option when we were told to eat, like it was so often with me when Esme would ask me to eat. If I was told to stop talking and eat, I'd do as I was told the first time.

Which is pretty much what I did right then.

Besides the lack of adequate bathroom space, it wasn't bad here. A safe, warm place to sleep, plenty of food in the cabinets, pantry, and fridge which I could have any time I wanted. Heather wasn't as concerned over the things I stuffed in my face as Esme had been, which was both good and not so good.

Of course there wasn't just wall-to-wall, high-octane crap in the kitchen, but there was enough junk food to keep Zack going without him moaning about there being nothing to eat. If it wasn't packed with sugar, he just didn't see it out there. That included absolutely anything healthy. It just wasn't there.

Me, on the other hand, I was quickly having to learn how to stop eating junk on my own, or I'd feel like complete crap the rest of the day. I was still learning that too much sugar was a very bad thing.

"Where are we stopping tonight?" Zack asked, stabbing more eggs than his fork could ever possibly hold.

"Not sure." Mike replied easily this time, "Somewhere along the way." That, I thought, should have really gone without saying. Slightly sarcastic, but not enough for Zack to tell. Sometimes, Zack was clueless.

"I think we should hold off on the camping for one night." Heather sighed, sitting down herself with her own plate to my other side, "Just because the first day of traveling is always the hardest."

"I think it'd be the last day that would be hardest." I said, "Knowing you're like _this_ close to home, after being away from it for so long." Of course I was speaking from experience. Scooting my eggs over on the plate into a neat little pile, I mainly focused on that, when I should have been focusing on the kid to my right.

Interested, Zack reached over for a piece of my bacon, and with a deep frown, I poked his hand with my fork, just hard enough to tell him that that wasn't going to work for me.

"Zachary." Heather corrected him sharply, and if my jabbing him wasn't enough to change his mind, Heather's tone would have been. He dropped his hand immediately, saving me and my bacon the worry. With another sigh and a shake of her head, Heather reached back and retrieved the plate of extra bacon off the stove.

"Honestly, Mike." Heather muttered, placing the plate on the table in front of Zack, "What are you teaching your boys?"

"They're your boys as much as they are mine." Mike chuckled, but his chuckle faded as he spoke again, "Zack, if you wanted more, you just had to ask."

"But she had four pieces." Zack replied, "I only had three, and she's taking forever to eat it."

"Just because I don't swallow it whole doesn't mean I don't want it." I snapped at him.

Heather countered, "Now you have plenty. Leave hers alone, and _ask_ next time, Zack."

He was satisfied for the moment, anyway.

"I agree with the camping thing." Mike replied, "Maybe tomorrow night, but tonight, we'll find a hotel." Zack nodded, his face stuffed with bacon. I frowned over at him, but I didn't say anything as Mike continued, "It's gonna be tight, though, guys. We can't afford two rooms, so you guys will have to figure out sleeping arrangements."

"I call the floor." Zack spoke with his mouthful, and I could barely understand him. I cringed, watching a crumble of egg escape back onto his plate. Gross.

I never really noticed before I moved in here just how gross he could be. Now, I knew full well what it was like having a brother as immature as Zack. Before, when I'd just visit, he'd keep the gross stuff to a minimum. Either that, or I just didn't care as much back then.

Now, I definitely cared. I usually had a strong stomach, unless it involved emotion, but I could feel my appetite shrinking just by looking at him now.

"Can you not?" I asked him, and he looked over at me.

"What?" He muttered around his food, grinning at how repulsed I seemed to be.

"Zack, stop talking with your mouth full." Heather corrected him again, "Come on. Please behave." She wasn't looking, so he decided to show me what all was in his mouth.

"Ew!" I barked, unable to help it as I leaned away, closer to Heather. Turning a little to kick his chair as I did so.

"Alright." Mike sighed, laying his own fork down, "Zack, get up." Uh-oh. I really hadn't meant to get him into trouble.

"What?" Zack asked again, this time with a clear mouth, "What'd I do?"

"We've told you repeatedly to eat your breakfast."

"I am!"

"I don't think it's too much to ask that you do it without bothering everyone else." He countered sharply, "Behave yourself, or you and I have a chat in the next room. Got it?"

I didn't exactly like Mike's correcting tone. He'd never had to use it at me yet, but I didn't want that to change, either. It was firm and demanded attention, and though I knew he'd never hit either of them, there was still the spanking I'd seen a few times already. Their spankings weren't anything like what I'd seen before, a solid hand swat or two across the butt, and only after being told multiple times to do or not to do something, but it was enough to make me know I didn't want that.

Zack was on thin ice, and he seemed to sense that.

"Got it." Zack answered quietly, looking back down at his plate.

"But dad," Josh spoke up, choosing the wrong time to do so, "What about the bathroom-"

"Eat. I won't say it again." Mike shut him up, and for several moments, it worked. All of us shutting up. I was usually quiet anyway, but now I was nervous about saying anything. I was glad, though, that I could finally eat without Zack running his mouth next to me. Glancing over at me, Heather offered a small smile. Silently telling me not to worry. She always seemed to know when I'd be nervous, and she did that a lot.

If I thought breakfast was more of an adventure than I was used to, getting everything in the car, including us, was a bigger one. There was plenty of room in the back seat of Mike's SUV for all of us, but somehow, there were still arguments over who got the window seats.

I never asked for special treatment. It made me uncomfortable, because they'd been here first, but Heather insisted that I get the seat behind hers, leaving the boys with one window seat left to fight over.

With a sigh, Heather suggested something to Mike about a mini-van, but I wasn't exactly paying attention. I was more preoccupied by Josh and Zack arguing over who'd get the driver's side back window seat.

In the end, Josh was the one unlucky enough to have to sit in the middle, since Zack usually got car sick when he was stuck in the car for too long. Half an hour after we all gathered outside, arguing while Mike got the bags into the back, we were almost ready. Before we could leave, though, suddenly everyone had to pee, so it was right back into the house. I was guilty as well, so I couldn't say I wasn't. I just figured it was better to go before we left.

When Mike started to get irritated, Heather spoke to him at the top of the stairs while I waited for my turn up the hall. I couldn't hear what she said to him, as she spoke too quietly, but it was enough to make it impossible for him not to smile at her. I couldn't help watching. Their interaction was something impressive. Always admirable to me. No matter how irritated either of them got over a certain situation, they never held it against the other.

Seeing me watching, Mike sighed. Offering a small smile.

"It's okay, kid." He told me, obviously being able to see my quiet nervousness. I nodded a little, but I still felt bad for having to contribute to his irritation. My attention was taken by the bathroom becoming available.

I took my turn as quickly as I could, not lingering for a second before rushing back downstairs. After that, we were finally off. Josh pouting in the middle next to me, obviously unhappy.

"We can trade." I told him, and he looked over, "Next time we stop, you can have the window seat." That seemed to help a lot. I didn't want him to be unhappy. As much as being forced together tried to change how we got along, he was still my friend.

It wasn't simple. Not in the least. When my decision to stay turned permanent, it changed how things happened around the house. It definitely wasn't easy, like I originally thought it would be, but something that took work, and a whole lot of patience. A lot of give and take, knowing when to push a point, and when to let it slide.

It took a lot of work, even so far. Timing and routines were set with adding a third kid to the mix. Heather took it all gratefully, it seemed. Not in the least put off by it, but sometimes Mike seemed a little overwhelmed. He never seemed to outright express it, but I knew enough to know when to look for it.

It was probably about having to keep a third kid alive when he was used to only looking after two. I didn't exactly like that I caused him more stress, and I'd expressed my worry about it to Heather, but she never failed to make me feel better about it.

My family, the Cullens, were all well aware of this trip we'd just started. Heather was told that she could take me anywhere she wanted. My choice ensuring that while I chose to stay there, she was responsible for me. She'd been told that before, but she probably needed extra clarification when it came to cross-country trips, because truthfully, I was still theirs. That hadn't changed, and I wondered often if it ever would.

She knew how attached to them I still was, and being so far away would probably be hard for me, but she also wanted to take me along, to give me an official bonding trip which would probably eventually help me adjust. If it went well, and if I allowed myself to.

Adjusting this far had taken a lot of effort. I did my best to hide my issues, and I knew that wasn't how it was supposed to be, but the nightmares would often not be hidden for very long. So far, Heather was the only one I knew actually knew of those. Josh and Zack both had an idea, but they never asked about what caused my nighttime problems, but I wasn't sure how different things could get on a trip this long. That made me a little unsure about the whole thing.

The first stop was roughly three hours later, and that was because tension was rising in the back seat, being crammed together for so long with no room to move away from each other. Josh and Zack had argued for thirty minutes straight over what side was theirs, and whose leg crossed that imaginary line down the seat, and it was time to stop to stretch. Me, I was as far over as I could get without actually opening my door, just in case they decided it needed to get physical.

So we stopped for lunch.

These trips for them was obviously nothing to take lightly, and I was beginning to see why. Heather and I found the closest women's room, while the boys found the men's room. I didn't really have to go again, but I went with her just to get away from the boys for a minute. They were a bit much on my nerves, and I needed to breathe or I was going to knock their heads together.

After lunch, it was back in the car, and with me in the middle, it seemed to balance everything out again. Keeping the boys apart, and it wasn't really that uncomfortable sitting there. Not as uncomfortable as Josh was making it out to be, but for the first time in my life, I found out exactly what car sickness was.

It started off as just a feeling about an hour into the second half of the day's travels. I felt uneasy, and a little dizzy. Cold sweats. I didn't think much of it, thinking I'd just eaten too much today, but it continued to get worse the more I concentrated on reading. Once it really started coming over me, I couldn't concentrate on reading anymore. I tried looking out the window, and that helped a little, which told me exactly what was wrong with me considering Zack needed the window seat for this very reason.

All I had to say to get my seat by the window back was, "I think I'm gonna throw up."

It wasn't just car sickness. They only called it that because it most often happened in the car. It was motion sickness, as I found out. It was when the brain sensed motion, but the eyes didn't track it. It was dizziness, cold sweats, nausea. It was exactly what happened when Emmett carried me to New York however many weeks before, only back then, I didn't throw up.

I did this time, though, when we finally stopped on the side of the road somewhere. Josh felt horrible for taking my seat from me, but after some water and a few crackers Heather had on hand for this purpose, my stomach slowed its turning. I got my seat back, the boys stopped bickering, and we made it to Idaho where we'd stop for the night.

It wasn't the fanciest hotel in the world, but it could have been a whole lot worse. Standard two queen bed room, with a bathroom and a TV. Just what I'd expect in a hotel room, honestly.

We'd all brought our own pillows, just for moments like this when Zack would want to sleep on the floor. He got his wish, while Josh and I shared the bed. Mike and Heather shared the second queen sized bed in the single room, which was interesting to say the least. I had shared a room with Heather before, but never Mike.

As soon as we were all acquainted with the room, the next task was finding something to pick up for dinner. I was still feeling a little nauseous, so I wasn't especially hungry and just wanted to stay at the room, so Heather stayed with me while the boys went out.

She seemed concerned about me, but it was mostly silent while they were gone. I appreciated the silence, as I hadn't had much of it all day long. I found out this way that Heather and Mike would be getting the bed closest to the door. I wasn't sure what the difference was, but it seemed important enough not to ask about.

By the time they got back, bringing something back for me and for Heather, I was already in my pajamas. Zack had brought in an extra blanket and his sleeping bag from the car, not at all upset by the floor accommodations. He got the floor on the far side of the bed by the window, that way he wasn't exactly in the way in case anyone had to get up.

I didn't eat much, but it was enough to solve Heather's concern. Zack got the rest, which he didn't mind in the slightest. Once everyone had eaten, it was time for bed. The part of the night I dreaded the most. I wasn't sure if anyone could tell I was feeling nervous. If they did, nobody said anything.

Unfortunately for me, it was dark. Nobody but me was afraid of the dark, so needless to say, I didn't get my nightlight. Then again, I didn't ask. I knew sooner or later I'd have to get passed this stupid fear, but I had a feeling tonight wouldn't be the night.

I hated hotels anyway, thanks to my previous history with them. I'd actually have preferred to sleep outside in the car, but I knew nobody would let me. My thoughts wouldn't stop long enough to let me fall asleep, so I laid awake, staring around me in the dark while everyone else fell asleep. Leaving my eyes open, though, did very little to comfort me. Only making it worse for myself.

It was laying in the dark that always made me remember things I really didn't want to remember. Things about my past I wished every day that I could forget. It was laying in the dark that the nightmares happened while I was awake. Sometimes they happened anyway, but mostly in the dark.

They hurt in every way possible, making it impossible to sleep. The longer I laid there, the faster my heart beat, despite my efforts to slow it down. Laying there in the dark wasn't helping my nausea any.

I eventually got up, nearly sprinting my way through the dark into the bathroom. Shutting the door quietly behind me, I turned on the light, and found the empty bathtub a really pretty comfortable place to sleep. In here, I could finally fall asleep. With the long day the day before, and with how long I'd been awake so far, I fell asleep pretty quickly.

Staying asleep, however, was impossible. I had no idea how long I'd been in here, before I was suddenly being woken up. To my surprise, I was in tears. It was clear almost immediately that I'd been in tears for quite some time, which was probably what brought Heather in to find me.

I briefly wondered how she knew to come find me, but I wasn't exactly up to asking at that point.

I wasn't sure what upset me at first, but thinking about it, it was most likely the residual emotions of the vision that led me to make the decision to leave my family in the first place. The emotions I had woken up with, and recognized instantly. There was no mistaking these emotions or what caused them.

I'd struggled hard with that over the last few weeks, since it happened, and so far, it hadn't eased. Especially while I was asleep. When those decided to show up, when I'd been ignoring them for too long, this was the result.

I was partially glad it wasn't my usual nightmares that caused my tears now, but this was just as bad. My heart hurt, breaking all over again. It was times like now, when I was having trouble handling what I'd seen, that I wanted my family the most. As much as these emotions had pushed me from them, they were the only ones who knew exactly what these emotions were doing to me every time I cried like this.

I missed my family. I missed home, but I also knew I'd made this choice because I couldn't bear to lose them. Maybe part of me thought I was losing them anyway. Maybe I refused to fully adjust because I knew that doing so would make me lose them anyway. Maybe I didn't want to adjust anywhere but with them. I ached so bad.

I didn't bother trying to explain anymore, and Heather no longer asked. Sitting me up in the tub, she wrapped her arms around me and lifted me out. I was getting far too old to outright hold, but she could lift me out and hold me across her lap the way Esme always had.

I sobbed in her arms, unable to help it.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." She told me, "I completely forgot." About the light, no doubt. She probably thought all this was caused by my other issue. The dark, no doubt, didn't help my emotional state now, but that wasn't what caused this. For once, that wasn't behind my tears.

She knew full well how afraid I was of the dark. Little by little, bit by bit she was beginning to understand that what Jack had put me through had left its mark on me in more than the major ways. Little things would bother me just as much as the big things. She was usually good about remembering, but tonight, I couldn't exactly hold it against her.

This was far from a little thing, though, and she knew that. She knew I was afraid of the dark, but she didn't exactly know why. She didn't know exactly what her brother had put me through in the dark. She knew the basics, but that was it. I had yet to trust her with that information, and I never told her nearly as much as I'd told my family. She'd probably heard a lot of the things I'd heard when she was my age, but mine was still different. I could tell that much.

Once I'd calmed down enough, she moved us.

It was too late into the night to wake everybody up just to switch around the sleeping arrangements, so for the first time, I slept in the same bed as Mike. That didn't do much to help my confidence any, but he was out cold, and Heather took the middle, making room for me on the outside edge of the bed. She was warm, laying behind me and warming me up after the several hours I'd spent sleeping on the hard bottom of the empty bathtub. As long as she stayed there, that was acceptable.

Even better, she'd left the bathroom light on for me, but closed the door most of the way. Filling the room with a slight bit of light, but that was all I needed. With her holding me this way, stroking my hair back in a very comforting way, it was almost easy to feel safe again. Exhausted and being held so safely, I let myself fall back to sleep.

"Well, this hasn't happened in awhile." I woke slowly at Mike's hushed voice, and I realized he was referring to me. I turned a little, looking back and sure enough, he'd found me on Heather's other side. She was awake too, giving him a look at waking me up.

I turned forward again, and sighed quietly. My eyes were telling me they still needed to sleep, and it was hard to correct them. Especially as Heather smoothed my hair again. Oddly, I found I hadn't moved at all while I slept. Normally I was uncomfortable enough to roll over or move at least once while I was asleep, but I hadn't needed to yet. Maybe I just hadn't been asleep long enough to have to. That was depressing.

Mike laughed a little, "I'm sorry I woke you, sweetie."

It was morning now, but I felt like I hadn't slept at all. Mike got up, leaving the bed to me and Heather for awhile, so I was able to snooze for just a bit longer. Perhaps just a few minutes.

Once everyone else started getting up, it was easier for me to get up, but I knew I'd probably be sleeping at some point in the car. Not that that was against the rules, but I doubted it'd be too possible with the boys beside me.

Once back in the car, just as I figured, it was the boys that kept me up. I couldn't exactly blame them. They'd gotten plenty of sleep, but here I was. Tired as hell.

I should have been used to that by now, honestly, but it never stopped sucking bad.

After a quick breakfast, our trip continued. Miraculously, I managed to snooze enough to keep me sane, resting my head against the window and resting my eyes closed. While resting my eyes, I let my thoughts wander.

It really hadn't been that long since I'd last seen my family. A few days at the most, but to me, it'd been far too long.

I knew full well my reasons for doing what I'd done, for leaving the way I did, but I never imagined I'd feel like this. I knew I'd miss them, of course that was a given, but this was something else.

Practically the entire time I'd been staying with Heather, they crossed my mind over and over, but I also knew that they had to understand my reasons for doing this. It really wasn't that I didn't want to be there. God, that was all I wanted, but with the threats against us, both them and me, this was the best way. It was sort of my way of going into hiding. It wouldn't be hard to find me, but with me here, I could be safe from that part of things. At least enough for them to concentrate on taking care of each other, and not having to worry about me so much.

It was the fear that made me run. Fear of what could happen if I stayed and what could happen if things didn't change, but it was how much I loved them that made me stay. Somehow, I knew exactly what needed to be done to change things. I hoped, prayed every single day, all day long that things would only change for the better.

I hadn't had a chance yet to talk to them about what a dream like the one I'd been having could mean, waking with the feeling that someone was calling me, but I honestly didn't think it was that important. To me, it was only my over-active imagination again, and though it confused me, it was a welcome change from the nightmares that plagued every sleeping moment of my life these days. Unless I was too tired for any dream to make it through, it was a pretty safe bet that I'd be waking up in tears for one reason or another.

I felt so stupid, though. Despite how often I was reassured that it was in no way stupid.

Here I was, two weeks into my eleventh year alive, and I was still afraid of the dark, and having nightmares that no longer mattered. I should have been passed this when I first left Jack a year and a half before, and all these nightmares did now was frustrate me. I was frustrated, angry at myself, because I still wasn't as strong as Heather was. I was still just as afraid of these dreams as I was when I was nine.

I knew full well I had every right to be afraid of Jack now. That, to me, was understandable and I doubted that'd ever go away, but these dreams weren't real. They had been real, but they weren't real anymore. That was the frustrating part, because I couldn't get passed them. I knew things like this took time, as Heather told me several times, but I couldn't help getting angry at myself for it.

Then, there was the dream. The residual memories of the vision that had been stuck since I had it. Up until several weeks ago, before all this started, I thought the only thing I was afraid of was Jack or Aro. It was this vision that taught me what my greatest fear was. More than Jack, more than Aro, I was afraid, so completely terrified of losing anyone I loved.

Just the thought of it threatened to tear me down to sobs, but I couldn't exactly do that right now. I had worked with it enough by then to hold onto it until I was alone and could cry about it on my own. Just like what had happened the night before in the bathroom.

It wasn't over. It was an ongoing thing, and I was pretty convinced at this point that it would continue to be an ongoing thing until I could feel confident that the path would change. I still wasn't convinced, even with the steps I'd taken.

Fear made me run, but my love for my family that made me stay. I had to remember that, but it was so hard to when I wanted so bad to just go back. I didn't care if I'd learn to be human here anymore. I didn't want normal anymore. I didn't want whatever I'd wanted when I first came here. I wanted home. Of course, I didn't exactly want to tell them that. Not with what was keeping me here.

Needless to say, I was torn.

I'd made this choice for a reason. I'd come here in hopes of keeping them safe. In my own way, but I also wanted to go home. I knew that the only way for it to stop hurting so much was to get used to it here, and I was trying, determined to make it work, but I couldn't help feeling that by doing so, I was only hurting them.

They seemed to be alright with the choice I'd made, even with how against it they seemed to be in the beginning, but that didn't ease me. I wasn't sure if they'd understand just how painful this was for me, and as easy as my life was now, it didn't make up for what they meant to me. Not in the least.

Sighing, I shook my head and sat upright in my seat. Sleep was impossible with rampant thoughts that refused to allow it. This was home now. I needed to figure that out. This was where I had to be.

"You okay?" Josh asked, looking over, "You're not getting sick again, are you?" That got Heather's attention, as she turned and looked back from the seat in front of me.

"No." I replied honestly, "I'm okay. Just tired, I guess."

"We'll stop in a little while." Heather assured me, and I nodded. I was okay with being patient.

Watching Heather look over and say something to Mike about us getting restless back here, I had no choice but to admit, though. If I couldn't allow myself to be with my family, there were far worse places I could have exiled myself.

"I know." Mike replied with a quiet chuckle, "Zack's been kicking my seat for the last twenty miles."

 **A/N: There we have it, folks. The first brand new chapter.  
I realize the chapter is a little short, but it'll probably take me some time to work up to the 18k-20k word(s) chapters I'd been at before. Along the same lines, I know not a whole lot is happening in here, but I figured this was as good a place to start as any. Also along those same lines, I really hope this didn't bore anybody to tears.  
I wasn't originally going to post any of this, but I should have known I'd never be able to give up on her. She's pretty insistent.**  
 **THANK YOU to those that gave me your opinions on the preview. :) I can't even begin to explain how much I missed reading your reviews and without them, I probably would have stayed against the idea of starting up again.**  
 **THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  
I still have a bit of work to do on the rest of this story, but we'll figure it out together, shall we? Bear with me, people. It's harder than you might think putting all this together, but so worth it in the end.  
Until Two, my friends!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Camping was certainly an interesting experience. We'd stopped somewhere in Minnesota for the night, which was a really different experience for me. It was heavily wooded, but different from home. I'd never seen trees like this back home.

It was a pretty unused spot, with less than twenty camping spots available, and only three being used when we showed up. Interestingly, we got the only one next to the river. Far our of the way, pretty distant from the only bathroom facilities, which was a little unnerving to me.

My first thought at seeing the area wasn't exactly a bad one. It was isolated, and aside from Zack's restless rambling and the chatty birds, it was quiet.

We'd only be staying a night, but I knew I'd miss sleeping in a bed. There were two tents we'd be using. One for Mike and Heather, the other for the three of us. Five sleeping bags, five pillows. That was basically it for the camping supplies, but nobody seemed to find that odd.

Heather had taken the car back into town. Mostly for something for us to eat that night. Mike was in charge of all of us, which would probably be interesting, but I wasn't too worried about it. I didn't have any immediate plans to run off. Not in a place like this, when it'd be way too easy to get lost.

Zack wanted to hunt bugs down by the small part of the river, just a few feet away while Josh helped Mike set up the tents and everything in the designated camping spot. It wasn't a very fancy spot. Standard wooden picnic table, fire ring and barbecue grill. Other than that, it was nothing but trees and dirt. Of course, the river too.

I offered to help with setting things up, even if I had no idea what I was doing, but Mike assured me that it was fine, so I joined Zack. I had to admit, I was curious to see what he'd find.

I let him be the one to dig in the mud between the rocks, though. It was a chilly late afternoon, the sun on its way down by then, even if I was the only one cold. I'd had to dig my sweatshirt out already, hiding my hands in the sleeves to try to keep them warm, but Zack seemed just fine.

Zack crouched beside where I crouched, lifting a bigger, flatter rock. His hands already completely caked in mud, which he didn't seem to mind in the least. I counted myself pretty dang lucky to be as clean as I was, the only things caked in mud being the bottom of my shoes.

"Where are they?" Zack seemed irritated at the fact he hadn't found any.

"They all knew you were coming a mile away, with the way you stomp around." I replied, "You have to dig."

"If you're so smart," He countered, letting the rock fall, "You do it."

"Fine." I said, "I'll find one since you can't." He gave me a look, stood up, and wandered further along the river. I didn't especially want to get dirty, but glancing back at where he'd gone. He wasn't paying any attention to me whatsoever, already looking under another rock with his back to me.

I'll admit, I cheated. I looked around a bit, focusing on the river.

On the surface of the water was a struggling bug, somehow having gotten stuck in the water. I leaned over and scooped it out, palming the grateful insect. I shook off the water a little, making sure not to send the poor bug back into the water from which I rescued it, and stood up.

"Found one." I called, and that got Zack's attention.

"How?" He demanded, spinning around to look at me, "You've been looking thirty seconds."

"Not even that long." I replied as he started closer to me. I showed him the bug in my hand, now trying desperately to climb my fingers in a panicky way. I looked over, "It's not gonna bite me, is it?"

"No, stupid." He replied, but it wasn't in a harsh tone, so I didn't immediately punch him. He laughed a little, and he shook his head.

"You're the bug whisperer." He smirked, "I bet you get covered in bugs tonight while you're sleeping." I gave him a look. He knew I didn't want that. So I quickly found a way to get even. He grinned, about to say something more, so I reached up and shoved the bug into his mouth.

Naturally, he freaked out, so I hopped away. Laughing hysterically as he spat it out instantly. I felt bad for the bug, though. He swiped for me, but I ducked and ran away.

"That was mean!" He was following me, "What if I ate it?"

"More dinner for me." I called back, and he gave an odd sort of irritated growl, which only made me laugh harder.

He chased me all over that camp, but he wasn't giving up. We circled Mike and Josh, gaining their attention briefly. Circling the already assembled tent, before I bolted back down toward the river, hopping over the tent they were in the middle of putting up.

"Come on, guys." Mike called to us, "Cut it out."

That took most of my attention, and I clearly stopped too soon. With a running start, Zack ran into me, shoving me at the same time and I swear I flew a little as I was launched straight into the river.

It was more than shallow enough for me to stand up with a deep gasp at how cold the water was. Choking a little as I inhaled some water, but scrambling to stand up, waist deep in the water, but not before I was drenched from head to toe with the way I landed. He was practically rolling with laughter on the rocks. Mike and Josh were both focused on what they were doing, their backs toward us, so neither of them had seen what happened.

This was exactly what I didn't want. If I was cold before, now I was freezing.

"Payback, Leandra." He laughed as I glared at him, soaking wet from head to toe now. I shivering, and tempted to cry, but instead, I got mad.

Struggling through the water toward him, he took off long before I managed to get out of the water. I chased him through the trees and foliage when I made it out, determined to return the favor. His laughter, though, was contagious.

I'd just caught him when Heather got back from her trip into town. Catching hold of his arm and as hard as I could, flinging him into the water as well. The splash was satisfying as he hit the water face down.

"Guys." Heather sighed, catching sight of us. Me soaking wet, Zack standing up, now dripping wet as well.

"Well, now how the hell did that happen?" Mike asked, just catching sight of our activities. Josh just laughed, obviously entertained.

"He pushed me first." I defended myself, "He started it."

"She started it!" He defended himself as well, spluttering a little through the water in his nose, "She tried to make me eat a bug!"

"But you didn't." I argued with him, "You pushed me into the water."

"Mine was an accident." Zack argued right back, "It's not my fault you stopped." I glared at him.

"Come on, you two." Heather gestured us forward, "Get changed out of those clothes." She didn't seem too mad. A little irritated, but not mad.

I was glad she suggested that, because I was still freezing. I didn't like being cold, so I turned, heading her way. She handed me my bag first, steering me toward the tent we'd be using. Our soaking wet clothes were hung from a line Heather ran between two trees to dry a little, but that wasn't the end of it. I'd lost my sweatshirt because of him, and now, I was ten times colder than I had been before.

As the daylight faded even more, covering the entire area in darkness, the mosquito spray came out, which I hated deeply. Even with me covered by a blanket, I still needed it on with the way Heather insisted. It stunk, and made my skin feel sticky. I wouldn't eat anything that smelled like me either.

All night, Zack and I glared at each other over the firepit. Me sitting next to Heather and bundled in a blanket, since I was having trouble warming up. Him just fine there beside Mike.

"Dad," Zack spoke up, "Can I share the tent with you and mom? She might kill me in my sleep." Oh, he was going to go that route?

"No I won't." I countered, "I'd rather you were awake when I did it." Heather glanced over at me, but I wasn't looking at her. That only seemed to worry Zack even more, though, given the way he looked over at Mike again.

"Please?" Zack asked, and Mike sighed.

"It's fine with me." Heather replied, "If it means we get to sleep tonight."

"Yeah." Mike told Zack, "Go get your stuff."

With a nod, Zack stood up. I wasn't going to let him get away from me so easily, and I got the idea of exactly how to carry out my retaliation as he had to step over Josh on his way by. As he went to step over me, I lifted my leg up and out just enough. He didn't have a chance to react, as I did it the second he raised his foot to step over me, and he hit the ground hard.

Oddly, it had been one of those actions that I regretted the second I moved to do it, so I didn't even have a chance to laugh at him before I was worried about him.

As purposefully as that had been, I had to cringe as I heard the sound of him hitting the ground, hearing his breath leaving forcefully in a loud grunting cry. Unfortunately for me, he landed side down on the rounded edge of a rock I'd forgotten was there, knocking the wind from him, and for a second, I wondered if I'd actually hurt him.

"Leandra." Heather scolded sharply as she stood up. I cringed again, not liking her correcting tone any more than I liked Mike's. Zack actually started to cry when he couldn't get a breath, which was how I knew he wasn't faking.

Mike stood up as well, rounding the fire, and at first, I thought he was heading for me, so I scooted back as fast as I could. He was only going to Zack's side, though, helping him roll slowly to his back so Heather could look over his side.

"Leandra." Josh sighed, and I looked over at him, "That's why you don't do stuff like that around here."

"You beat him up all the time." I pointed out.

"At home." He replied, "Where there are no rocks for him to break his ribs on." I winced. He had a point. If I'd seriously hurt him, I'd feel horrible.

"Dammit, Leandra." Heather sighed, obviously very disappointed, looking over at me at her first look at his side.

"I didn't mean to." I mumbled, but even I knew that was a lie. Partially, though, it was true. I hadn't meant to hurt him that bad. I wasn't expecting that. I'd been expecting him to hit the ground, maybe scrape up an elbow or something, but not that.

She sighed, shaking her head and focusing on Zack once more.

I waited, watching and holding my breath as Heather looked him over. Flashlight in one hand, inspecting his side with the other. I couldn't hear what she was telling him, but her voice was a soothing one, and he started to calm down.

After a few minutes, Zack was okay to be sat up to let him catch his breath a little more. Still with tears drying on his cheeks, he looked over at me.

Mike looked toward me as well as Heather supported Zack. He spoke as he stood up, his tone very unhappy, "You. Up." I hid further in my blanket.

"Go easy on her, Mike." Heather spoke up, and he glanced to her, "She didn't mean it."

"You're kidding, right?" Mike asked, "I saw what happened just the same as you did."

"She feels bad, dad." Josh offered quietly, "She didn't mean to do it-"

"Leandra." Mike's tone was just as firm, so I knew they were having no effect on his unhappiness. Heather was busy with Zack, so I knew she wasn't about to stand in the way this time. He sighed heavily this time as he focused on me once more, "Come on. You and I are having a talk." I shrunk a little, curling in my blanket. When I didn't move, he sighed again and gestured for me to get up.

"I'd go." Josh told me, so hesitantly, I took his advice and stood up. Dragging my blanket with me, I crossed the distance between Mike and I as slowly as I could.

I was so nervous, I trembled lightly, but the way he didn't just whack me across the face like instinct told me to expect eased me a little. Very little, but a little nonetheless.

Placing his hand lightly on my shoulder, he turned us and walked us a few steps away. A few steps into the trees.

I was doomed, I knew it, but instead of yelling at me, he only crouched in front of me. I kept my eyes down, afraid to even look at him. Nearly in tears myself, and that must have appealed to his merciful side, because he sighed in a much calmer way.

"Relax." He told me, and I finally glanced up at him, "Okay? Calm down a little."

"I didn't mean to." I whimpered, emotion breaking my voice, "I-I-"

"Now, don't go lying to me." He cut that off, "I saw what you did. We all saw." I looked down again. He studied me for a second before he spoke again, "You want to try again?" I didn't even try this time. I only shrugged, keeping my eyes down.

"You cannot go around doing stuff like that." He spoke quietly, "You could have seriously hurt him, and then where would we be?"

"I know." I mumbled, "I'm sorry. I didn't think he'd get that hurt." That was obviously more believable.

"Exactly." He said, and I glanced up at him again, "You didn't think. You need to start thinking about the consequences of your actions. Before you do anything, you have to think about what can happen as a result." I nodded, keeping my eyes down, "All I'm asking, is to just be careful from now on, okay? I don't want anyone getting hurt again."

"I will." I muttered, now hopeful I could be spared, "I promise."

"Next time," He told me quietly, "It won't just be a talk, understand?" I nodded immediately, "Next time, I'll sort you out just the same way I sort my boys out. I'm not afraid. I don't want to, so I'm giving you a chance first. Considering you're normally really well behaved."

"I don't want that either." I admitted, and he chuckled.

"Then we're on the same page." He said, standing up, "Just be more careful, and we'll have no problems, sweetheart. Zack will be fine. He'll be sore, and have a hefty bruise, but Heather didn't find anything worth really worrying about. I think that's why I was able to stop at a talking to just now." I nodded again. I understood that. I thanked my lucky stars and turned, following him back toward the others.

Zack sat with Heather now, so I took Zack's previous spot between Josh and Mike. Zack was far from happy, glaring at me now, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't return it. This time, I knew I was in the wrong. Josh was the one tasked to move Zack's stuff now, but he didn't seem to mind. Probably just wanting to keep the drama here to a minimum.

I might have been spared, but I knew by Mike's tension and silence that he wasn't going to let it go. I probably wouldn't either until I knew if he would.

Before bedtime, there was a trip up the road to the bathrooms for those of us not willing to wander into the forest. Meaning, Heather, Josh and me, but these bathrooms were hardly more than a hole in the ground anyway. That grossed me out to no end, but I wasn't about to wander into the trees at night, and it was certainly better than having to look for privacy.

We returned, and it was off to bed. Rather, tent, as it stood.

Josh and I laid there, each in our own respective places, while Mike and Heather stayed up a little longer. Talking too quietly for us to hear, but now and then, I did hear my name or the specific 'she' sound. Mostly from Mike's hushed voice, so I knew he was the one with the biggest problem.

I didn't even know why I'd done that. I literally hadn't thought about what could happen.

"Leandra." Josh was still awake too, and he spoke quietly, hardly above a whisper, "You awake?" I looked over at him.

"Can you hear what they're saying?" I also whispered, nervous now. He had the spot closest to where they sat talking, so I assumed he could hear them better than I could.

He sighed, nodding a little, "Dad thinks you're too dangerous, and it worries him. That it wasn't just what happened today, but some of the things you've said since you've been here that worries him." He paused, probably listening before he spoke again, "Mom says that it's not your fault, and that you just need more time. That some of the things you saw when you were a kid makes it hard for you to be around other people. Dad asked her about putting you in therapy, but she doesn't want to do that."

"What's that?" I had to ask.

"It's where they send you somewhere for some doctor to say you're crazy." He whispered back, "They make you go on meds." I immediately shook my head. I didn't want that.

"I don't want that." I whispered nervously anyway, in case my head shaking wasn't enough of an indication.

"He says if it's really that bad," Josh went on, "The things you saw when you were a kid, then therapy is the best thing for you. She says it won't make much of a difference, and it'll only make it harder for you." He looked over, frowning a little, "What does she mean? What did you see?"

I shrugged a little, studying my hands.

"Is that why you cry at night?" He asked, slowly sitting up as silently as he could, "Because of what you saw?" That was a vague enough answer, so I nodded. He fell quiet for a second, looking down, "Well, whatever it is, you know it's not here, right?" I did know that, but I also deeply appreciated him telling me that.

"I know." I whispered back, nodding a little.

"She's saying she'll talk to Carlisle when we get back." I winced at his next report, but as silently as I could, I scooted myself, sleeping bag and all, over toward Josh. Nearly sitting on him as I strained to listen.

They fell silent for a moment, probably listening for more movement or any other indication someone was awake, but sitting still, I could just pick up what they were saying from my spot now as they continued talking.

"I'm sure this is just one of those things." Heather whispered, "Give her a chance, Mike."

"I'm not against giving her a chance," He replied to her, "I just don't want my boys getting hurt because I did give her a chance. It's my job to protect them. I understand why you felt the need to take her in, hon, but you've gotta look at her for what she is."

"She's still trying to adjust, Mike. It's not her fault."

"I'm not saying it is." He replied softly, "I'm all for helping her out, but it has to be in a way that keeps everyone safe. Not just her. She's going to have to start being held accountable for the things she says and does, or she's really going to hurt someone one day. I told you what I heard from her just the other day?"

"Yes," She sighed, in her voice was a worrying tone of defeat, "You've told me."

I knew what he was referring to. It was a few days ago, and one of Zack's friends irritated me, so I'd told him to go fall in a hole and die. It didn't seem like a big deal to Zack's friend, but it sure was to Mike who was walking by, returning from checking the mail and overheard. It wasn't even that bad, but I guess to him, it was.

Josh and I glanced to each other as we continued listening.

"That scares the hell out of me, Heather." Mike admitted, "I know you care about her, and I know you somehow feel responsible for her since she was Jack's stepkid and Lord knows you're going to do what you're going to do for her, but I don't know how to handle that. What happens when she says or does shit like that at school? Think about how that's going to reflect on us."

"I promise," She replied, "I will discuss it with Carlisle when we get back."

"Okay." Mike allowed that, "I'm going to hold you to that. For the time being, we'll just.. Keep an extra eye on her, I guess." I heard him sigh, "Thinking about it now, I guess, I see a lot of him in her." I winced again, hating his confession. That was the last thing in the world I wanted.

Heather's reply was louder with emotion, "Take that back."

"All I mean, is she's just as quiet and reserved as he always was." Mike replied, trying to calm her sudden irritation, "And some of the things she says unnerves me, like he used to. I never gave it much thought until I really started to get to know her, but I'm beginning to get the feeling that there's a lot I don't know about your family, hon." Her silence was as much of an answer as any words could be.

I looked down, turning away again. I'd never considered this when I made the choice to stay with them. I never even considered the fact that though I knew Heather would understand completely, Mike might not.

I settled back onto my side of the tent, only rustling the plasticy floor a little bit and probably alerting them than someone was moving around over here again, because they fell silent in a more final way. I didn't care.

"You can't be like that anymore, Leandra." Josh whispered almost silently, "I've never heard my dad say he was afraid of anything before."

"I know." I whispered back just as quietly, "If I could change, I would."

I fell asleep that night in a horrible mood, so it really didn't surprise me when I woke myself up twice during the night. Thankfully, I was silent in doing so, so nobody else felt the need to wake up with me, but it was difficult.

I gathered one thing from my night spent camping. Sleeping on the ground, no matter how puffy the sleeping bag, sucked really bad. I woke up much earlier than I was used to, and the morning was really chilly despite it being late summer. I knew it'd warm up later, so a light jacket is all I'd need. Or so I thought.

I found Heather already outside as I stumbled my way out of the tent, trying not to wake Josh up.

"How do people get used to this?" I asked quietly, zipping the tent closed behind me.

She laughed, "It's an acquired taste."

"Well, I miss my bed." I muttered, slapping a mosquito on my cheek, "I'm sticky, I'm tired, I'm cold.. How am I cold? It's freaking July."

"Technically, it's August now," She pointed out, and I frowned in thought, "And the time of year makes no difference really when we're in an area like this."

"Camping sucks."

"It'll get better." She laughed again at my bitter mood, "When it warms up."

I stopped complaining, choosing only to sit and watch her pick things up around the area. She fixed the fire, getting it going again, and I migrated closer to it almost involuntarily. Drawn to its warmth like I was a bug myself.

Zack emerged from his tent next, dragging an extra blanket with him. He must have been cold too.

"Share that?" I requested and tiredly, he shuffled over to me and dropped it on me. I accepted it gratefully, instantly fixing it around myself.

"Hold that." He said, "I gotta pee."

"Ew." I grumbled, but accepted the blanket anyway. Heather handed him the hand sanitizer bottle on his way by, which I appreciated. He wandered off into the woods somewhere, which I tried not to think about. I had to go as well, but I'd hold it until we got to visit a bathroom. However long that took. I wasn't some bear. I'd gone outside exactly three times in my life, which was enough for my taste. Guys really had it easy.

Moments after he left, it was Mike that got up next.

"That way." Heather pointed him in the direction Zack had gone, and I shook my head. Burrowing further into the blanket for more warmth while Heather neared and sat down to my right.

"When it gets warmer, we'll go into town for breakfast." Heather told me. That was a massive relief to hear, and I nodded a little from my cocoon, as just the mention of food got my stomach growling.

I absolutely hated being cold. I used to not mind it so much, as this was a pretty recent thing, but I knew exactly why I suddenly despised being cold. I tried not to think about it, though.

Zack returned, and if I hadn't been able to smell the hand sanitizer on him, I wouldn't have let him share the blanket with me. He was okay, though. I let go of one side, and he ducked in with me, quickly closing his side around him before too much of the heat I'd built up could escape.

I looked over at him, hair dissheveled, and he looked like he'd gotten about as much sleep as I'd gotten, which really wasn't much.

"I'm sorry I tripped you." I mumbled, and looked over at me, "I really didn't mean to hurt you that bad. I totally forgot that rock was right there."

"Nah," He said, "It's okay. I'll just punch you later, so we'll be even."

"'Kay." I allowed that. I figured I deserved that. Heather was shaking her head as I looked at the fire again, but she didn't say anything. Not much for conversation, we pretty much sat in silence for a moment or two.

Zack and I continued to share the blanket, both wrapped in it while Josh finally got up.

"That way." This time, Zack pointed him in the direction that Mike had gone.

It was pretty much silent after that, aside from the birds chirping in the trees around us. Unable to wait for breakfast, Josh stole a bag of chips from the car when he and Mike returned a minute later, sitting down between Heather and me. That caught my attention, so he offered some to me. I took a handful quickly and ducked back into the warmth of the blanket. Oddly, Zack didn't want any.

"Cold?" Josh asked, laughing a little at how pretty much only my eyes were visible as I munched on my handful of chips.

"Shut up." I grumbled, my voice muffled by the fabric, and he just laughed again. He looked over, though.

"Dad," Josh caught his attention, "We heard you guys talking last night." My eyes widened as I looked over at him. I honestly had never expected him to bring that up. Before I could punch him to the ground and send the bag of chips cart-wheeling into the fire, he spoke again, "You know what I think it is?"

"Why were you listening in in the first place?" Mike asked, obviously disapproving. I hid in the blanket, hating Josh in those few seconds.

"She just doesn't know how to be competetive." Josh went on, ignoring his dad's question, and for a moment, it fell quiet.

"How do you mean?" Heather went ahead and asked.

"Well, every time Zack's gotten hurt, it's because they were doing something together, and he'd never let her win." Josh answered, "He wound up in the river because he wouldn't let her catch him."

"No," I said, "He wound up in the river because he pushed me in first." I hesitated, "And because he wouldn't let me catch him."

"You tried to make me eat a bug." Zack argued.

"Because you said I'd get covered in bugs during the night." I argued right back.

"See what I mean?" Josh asked as if we'd just proven his whole point, "She tripped him because he tried to make her look bad. She gets competetive, but she doesn't know how to handle it, so she says and does things that go way beyond what it should. Every time Zack steps it up, she has to go bigger."

"I see your point." Mike actually did seem like he understood a little better, given his tone, and I suddenly hated Josh a little less.

"She didn't actually mean to hurt him." Josh added, defending me in just the right way, "That part was an accident."

"I'm glad you said something, Josh." Mike sighed, sounding relieved, "Thank you." I finally peeked out of the blanket again, glancing over. Mike sighed again, "As for the things you heard-"

"She heard it too." Josh pointed out.

"As for the things you two heard." He corrected himself, "I'm sorry. We should have been quieter."

"I'm sorry for listening in." Josh replied, "But she was nervous."

Without warning, Zack turned and punched my upper arm pretty hard. Harder than he'd ever hit me, and though it hurt, all I really did was squeak. Glaring over at him briefly, but he grinned. He knew there'd be no retaliation, because I knew exactly what that was. My arm ached deeply now, the pain spreading down my arm to my fingertips and up through my shoulder as I reached over and cupped my arm with my free hand.

"Ow." I growled at him, but his grin stayed.

"Zack." Mike didn't approve, clearly surprised by the action.

"I'd leave it." Heather told him, "Trust me."

"Just payback." Zack defended himself, "She said I could."

"I said he could." I backed him up this time, rubbing my arm, "But that hurt."

"So did mine."

"Well," Mike grumbled, "Stop it. Both of you."

"They're good now." Josh seemed confident, offering me more chips, which I couldn't pass up.

Josh had just saved my ass. In so many ways. I had to think, though. Maybe that was all it was. Wouldn't that be nice? If I wasn't actually a bad person, but just really competetive? I really wanted that to be it.

Breakfast made me feel a little better. My grouchiness was apparently caused by hunger I didn't know I felt. After a pretty big breakfast, more than I was used to eating, I felt good enough to go back, and try this whole camping thing again.

We were supposed to leave before noon, but it was pretty much decided that we'd spend one more night, and I was glad it was. I was still sticky with the reapplied mosquito repellent, and dirty, and tired, but it was different now.

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was spent on a small hike. Heather stayed back to read and to watch our stuff, though I doubted she really worried about anybody taking anything. I suspected she just wanted to give us time with Mike. Rather, me time with Mike, and Mike time with me. He hadn't spent much time with me on his own without Heather always there to smooth over any rough patches of mine he might notice.

I tried not to think much of it, and though I would have prefered to stay, I went along with the boys. Knowing full well what this was about.

Wandering along the trails, with Mike of course, I saw things I never would have seen if I'd just stayed pouting at the camping spot.

Interesting bugs, birds, squirrels and the like. We crossed a part of the same river that ran by our spot, fortunately nobody getting pushed in again. I stayed dry, which was just fine by me.

It was there that Zack caught a frog, but kept it to himself. I couldn't help myself. Running on ahead to find his side. Just as cheerful as he always was, he held it out to me, and though I backed up, I held my hands up to take the gross little creature from him.

It was cold, not at all pleasing to hold, so after a short few seconds of holding it, I gave it back with a laugh. He could keep it.

Though I was interested, I didn't want to stay too close to it with him and his ideas. He eventually let it go further down the river, which I was sure it appreciated. He already had a turtle at home, being taken care of by a friend, so he didn't need a frog too.

We stopped near a lake to rest, which I didn't mind in the least. We had to have been walking for an hour straight by then, and I was pretty pooped. Josh and Zack were just fine, though, playing catch with a small rock they found. I sat on the grass next to Mike, watching them while we rested.

I knew there was a lot he probably wanted to say, but I didn't push it. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear much of what he wanted to say. I felt bad for listening in when they were obviously wanted to talk privately, and I knew that everything he told her he never wanted me to hear, but I couldn't exactly blame him for the way he felt. I was a bit much for most people to handle, which was probably why I didn't get along well with them.

He never said anything, but reaching over, he lightly patted my head with a sigh but his hand lingered there. Catching my attention, I looked over. Not exactly bothered by the contact, but curious.

He met my curious gaze with a small smile, smoothing my hair much the way Heather usually did before he ruffled it a little. I leaned away with a small laugh. He gave his own chuckle, and I knew he was okay for now. Oddly enough, I just knew that. Without a thing having to be said, I knew he was okay. That made today only ten times easier.

When it was time to head back, he helped me to my feet before calling to the boys. He wasn't so bad. Maybe a little firm when he had to be, but not bad. For once, he held my hand, and I let him hold it.

Josh noticed, but didn't say anything about it, staying just beside me on the whole way back. Zack led the way, seeming to know exactly where he was going while we followed slower. I was grateful for Mike holding my hand, because I started getting tired again halfway back, and he helped me along.

I didn't exactly know what was going on with me lately. Normally I had just as much energy as Zack did, but I really didn't at all this whole trip.

"Thank you." I told Josh eventually, and he looked over, "For saying what you said this morning."

"No problem." He replied easily, "I think that's all it is. I mean, heck. The only friends you've ever really had is us. You said yourself you never liked to play games or anything with the other kids you used to know." I nodded, agreeing with that, "We'll teach you. Don't worry." I smiled a little, nodding again, "Lesson one. It's bad to tell people to go die in a hole."

I had to laugh, nodding once more.

"I know." I replied, "But he was bugging me."

"So tell him to shut his pie hole." Josh suggested, "Not to go die anywhere, but definitely don't hit him. Hitting is bad too."

"Got it." I said, "And lesson two, don't trip Zack anywhere where he could hurt himself." Mike chuckled at that one, surprisingly.

"You're getting it." Josh smiled, "I'd save that for at home. Away from any stairs or furniture."

"Should I be writing this down?" I asked, and he laughed.

"We can make a list when we get home." He suggested.

I laughed as well, "Okay."

It warmed up enough by the time we got back to spend some time around the river, so hot and tired, we got back to the camping spot, changed clothes and jumped into the water. It was still a little cold for my taste, but nobody else seemed to mind.

This place sure beat being stuck in the back of a car for hours. This time, I didn't mind Zack's antics, actually letting myself lighten up. It was almost easy. Nobody got hurt again, and though Zack did have a decent bruise along his side, he was fine. I had my own decent bruise now, I quickly discovered, from Zack's retaliation.

There was more bug hunting, along with mud throwing, and though Heather didn't approve of that one, she didn't make us stop. Me waist deep in the water, Zack floating on his stomach next to me. Mike and Josh standing across from us as our opponents.

Heather chose to be the one that sat out, guarding the towels. Far enough out of the way that she wouldn't accidentally catch a splat of mud to the face.

I actually wouldn't have minded if we lived in this camping spot for a few more days. When I finally let myself lighten up, I laughed more than I had in a long time, and as the afternoon faded to evening, the fire got going again, and for right then, everything was okay.

Zack got the S'More thing I couldn't finish, which he didn't seem to mind at all. It was good, but too sweet for me to finish on my own. Our spot, in the middle of the trees, was just right to look at the stars. Josh, Zack and I laid on the top of the picnic table to look up while Mike and Heather worked on cleaning up the food and putting it away in the light of the dying fire.

Zack moved back into our tent, and came up with the bright idea to take off the rain cover of the tent, so we didn't have to stop looking up when we had to go to bed. I was glad he did, because it was with him that Josh and I were able to laugh until it hurt. So unlike the night before, it always amazed me how different things could turn out in twenty-four hours.

I wasn't sure what Mike and Heather were talking about this time, but now and then I could hear their own quiet laughter. Especially as the three of us started to settle down and one by one, fell asleep to the sound of crickets nearby and the quiet river flowing off to the side.

We had to get going again the next day if we were going to make it there on the day we said we would. I was sad to leave this place, but they were right, and with a promise to go camping again soon, I willingly climbed into the back of the car early that morning. Before the sun was even really up.

Crammed back into the back seat for eleven hours, I was beginning to adjust to this activity. I didn't get car sick again, but that could have just been because Josh seated next to me kept me occupied now and then by showing me pictures he'd taken on previous trips like this. Zack eventually joined in, adding his own take on the pictures we looked at.

They told me things about the spots they'd been before, and places they'd like to show me. I couldn't help wanting to see these places myself with the way they talked about them.

They showed me pictures of Mike's sister's house, where we were headed.

Mike's sister's place didn't look all that bad. A decent sized house, about as big as the one we lived in, with a nice big yard. Naturally, it was sunny in most of the pictures. Josh and Zack's cousins seemed like a really happy couple of kids. Always smiling, those smiles never fading in any of the pictures.

I was a bit nervous at the thought of there being six of us and only four adults to watch all of us, but then again, I'd never met these people before. Robin and Scott could be just as protective as Heather or Mike was, but they were human. So many things could get by them with none of them being the wiser.

I had yet to see even a hint of my family having followed us, and so far, I'd sure tried. Surely by now they'd have given me a hint at least.

Then again, it was very rare for me to be alone on this trip. I had yet to find myself alone at all, so I held onto hope that they were just being careful, and didn't want anyone else knowing they were around, but that didn't stop me from looking. Anything at all at this point would have been very welcome. Any hint, the littlest clue.

We stopped at a hotel that evening, just to recover a little bit from the two nights spent on the ground. Somewhere we could all get clean and Heather could wash what clothes we'd destroyed during said camping. Already both Heather and Mike seemed exhausted, but I didn't.

This hotel had a pool, which Zack insisted on using. Not willing to let us out of her sight for that long, Heather followed along with us, only to read a book in the shade while Mike rested back at the room.

He must have gotten a decent rest, because he came to find us before we were done.

I mostly stayed where my feet could touch the bottom, while Josh and Zack took to the deeper end, seeing who could make the bigger splash by jumping in from the side. Zack actually won, doing flips into the water despite Heather's protests.

I wasn't as confident in my swimming abilities, so I chose to play it safe by staying in the shallower area. I might have ventured their way a few times, but that was by hanging onto the side. I found myself wishing, as I watched them having fun, that I was as confident as they were. I really wanted to be like them.

I tried, but Josh's teaching abilities weren't very strong. I just couldn't trust my own confidence enough to let go of the side.

After awhile, though, I started getting a little sunburned, and my bathing suit really started to bug me, so I chose to sit with Heather and Mike in the shade toward the evening. I wasn't feeling that well after a couple of hours spent in the heavily chlorinated water and late afternoon sunlight, and sitting in the shade, sipping water helped.

Once back at the room, all three of us took turns taking another shower. It was pizza for dinner, and all three of us passed out before eight. I was surprised when I woke up in the morning to realize I never woke up during the night. Not once. I had no idea how I wound up asleep, as falling asleep was never a conscious decision.

It never failed to puzzle me when that happened, but when I woke up, one glance around me told me that I was the first to wake up. Sitting up on my side of the bed, startling Josh awake with how quickly I did so.

I'd heard my name again. I didn't know who was calling my name, as I'd never actually heard any voice. It just felt like I did. It was even more disorienting waking up like this to find everyone else was still asleep. Seeing it for myself made it even harder. I didn't know what this was, but it was driving me crazy.

"Leandra?" Josh muttered, turning a little to look at me, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I mumbled, still half asleep myself, "I just.. I don't know." I laid back down, rubbing my eyes roughly. I knew this would pass, but for right then, it was hard to handle.

"You okay?" He asked, sitting up himself. No doubt he could see the way I was shaken up. I always had at least a few minutes to figure myself out before I had to face anyone when I'd wake up like this before. Nobody had seen me like this yet, when I first woke up this way. Not quite upset, or frustrated, but more shaken than anything. Startled, but confused.

"I don't know." I replied quietly, opening my eyes and looking over at him, "I don't know."

"What's wrong?" He asked again, obviously concerned. I sighed, turning over onto my side to face him. It was just easier to talk quietly this way.

"I don't know." I repeated, "Have you ever just woken up, feeling off?" He frowned tiredly, thinking about it.

"Bad dream?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"No," I said, "That's not it. Just.. Off. Like there's something you forgot that you weren't supposed to forget?"

"No." He replied, shaking his head a little, "Well, maybe sometimes, but I always remember what it is right away."

"I think I forgot." I admitted, "And I can't remember it."

"What do you think it is?" He asked, laying back down himself. Turning to lay on his side as well, facing me on my side.

"That's the problem." I muttered, "I don't know."

"Well, what's it feel like?" He asked instead, and immediately, I thought about Alice. The way she pressed, urging me to figure out what my visions were telling me.

"Sad." I replied quietly, looking at my hand lightly clenched in the blanket, "Like a hole. Right here." I smoothed the blanket over my stomach, "Like something I swore never to forget, but I have to." He didn't reply right away, his tired gaze concerned, but sad right along with me. Like just knowing I was so sad made him sad.

"You want me to wake up my mom?" He offered quietly, and immediately I shook my head. Lifting my head slightly, looking over him at the bed beside ours where both Heather and Mike both still slept. Zack sprawled on the floor, still clearly passed out.

"No." I sighed, "I don't think she knows I feel like this, and I don't want her to."

"Why not?"

"Because." I mumbled, "She deserves not to."

He sighed, but scooted a little closer. Raising his hand out of the blanket, he took my hand and held it in his own, rested between us. Squeezing it lightly, and I looked over to see his eyes close. He wasn't trying to fall back to sleep, but just resting for a minute.

It took me a moment or two, but eventually, I held his hand right back. Appreciating the silent offer of assistance to get me through this. He wasn't asking me to change my mind, or reconsider his offer of waking Heather. I appreciated this. Just knowing he was there.

Once more, plenty was said without saying a word. I just watched him, and though I did feel the sadness I felt while trying to describe what this was like, I felt something else too. I wasn't sure what it was, but I didn't mind it so much. It eased the sadness, and that was all I wanted.

He opened his eyes again, meeting my eyes as he smiled a little.

"I'll be okay." He told me, "If you're sad, just stay with me. I won't let anything make that worse."

"Even Zack?" I asked, unable to help smiling a little.

"Especially that butthead." He replied, "And when we get there, I'll stay with you too. If you want me to, because I know you're scared." He wasn't making fun of me, but pointing out the obvious.

"How do you know?"

"I just know." He shrugged a little, "You don't have to be, but telling you that doesn't help, does it?"

"Not really." I admitted, looking down.

Our conversation ended with Zack suddenly sitting up and standing, scaring the crap out of both of us as he wandered for the bathroom. Not seeming to have heard anything we said at all.

With a decision to eat breakfast there in town instead of further along the way, it was back in the car for breakfast around ten. A little bit of a later start than usual during this trip, but we were so close to Rochester by then, it didn't matter that much.

By then, the boys had a whole lot of trouble sitting still, but I had trouble sharing their excitement. I was nervous, as I always was when meeting new people stared me in the face. I never took what anybody told me about them as the truth. It always seemed to me that there would be at least one thing I'd find wrong with someone, so I kept to my instincts and reserved judgement.

It very well could have been that they were just nice people. It could be that they were normal, with normal kids and a normal life, but that never seemed the case. Even with as normal as Heather and her family seemed to be, I knew there were things that made this family just the opposite. There were things in every family that made them the opposite of normal, and that was just how it was. I hoped in my nervousness that this family's things were tolerable.

"Leandra?" Heather found my distraction concerning, "Are you okay, honey?"

I was deep in thought, lost while staring at my plate. Her concern took the attention of everyone else as well, bringing their focus to me.

"I'm fine." I replied almost reflexively.

"You've been pretty quiet." She pointed out, and I shrugged a little.

"Cheer up." Zack, seated across from me, flung a piece of toast at me. Though it startled me when it hit me in the nose, I was laughing half a second later. I couldn't help it. I knew better than to retaliate this time, but I didn't want to. He hadn't done it to be mean, but to make me laugh. His grin telling me that.

Yeah, there were definitely worse places I could have exiled myself.

 **A/N: I know this chapter took awhile to come out. I apologize. Life has been demanding much of my attention lately, but here it is. I hope you enjoyed it.**

 **THANK YOU to my awesome, amazing reviewer! THANK YOU!**

 **Next chapter should be pretty long. I plan on increasing the length so we can move along to the good parts.**

 **Until then, my friends. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

We'd reach their house before evening that night, so we thought it'd be best to just go straight shot. Besides stopping for breakfast and lunch, and a bathroom break between them, we made it there just before dinner time.

Zack and I were busy arguing lightly in the back over some stupid subject as Mike called ahead. Letting them know we were in town, and almost there.

It was maybe fifteen minutes later that we arrived. Just like in the pictures, this house seemed bigger in person. Mike's sister, Robin was already outside to greet us. Barefoot, she immediately struck me as a very laid back person. On first look, her jean shorts and tanktop appearance made me think of someone normal, which was a very good sign.

Scott, Robin's husband, stood in the front doorway. He was on the taller side, but not very close to Mike's stature. Not scrawny, but not bulky either. Normal. I didn't take that as comforting, though. He seemed just as normal as Robin seemed, but again, I wouldn't let that comfort me into letting my guard down.

I'd studied both of them thoroughly before the car had even stopped, I realized.

Once it did, I chose to get out of the car at the same time as Heather, despite my nervousness at such a new place. Sensing that nervousness, she took my hand. Offering a small smile, which helped a little. She knew these people, and she obviously trusted them, or she wouldn't be bringing not only me, but her sons to see them.

Then I had to think about it. She'd let Jack and Ken into the boys' lives, so that didn't comfort me either.

We rounded the front of the car just as Josh finished climbing out after Zack. Robin was in the middle of a giant bear hug from her brother, but didn't seem bothered by it in the slightest. From Mike, she moved on to hugging the boys enthusiastically.

"You guys definitely need to move closer." She laughed, turning to Heather, but seeing me, she paused. She knew I was coming along, of course, so she wasn't surprised, but I immediately liked her. She had a very kind face, wearing a very warm and welcoming smile. She didn't seem bad at all. My first instinct was to like her.

"Hi there." She greeted me, "You must be Leandra." I nodded a little, "I'm Robin. It's amazing to finally meet you, sweetheart. I've heard so much about you." She held her hand out to me, and I couldn't help returning her smile as I took it.

She gently squeezed my hand, before standing up straighter, "She's just a little darling, isn't she? You say she's ten?"

"Eleven, actually." Heather replied, nodding, "Turned it a few weeks back."

"Oh?" Robin smiled at me again, "Happy belated birthday, sweetpea." She was so warm. Instantly likable. That, I decided, was enough to comfort me a little.

Our attention was taken by a younger boy running our way from the front door. Shirtless, wearing bathing suit shorts and soaking wet.

"Zack!" This boy was obviously overjoyed at seeing him, and I had to laugh as he hugged him tight, drawing a grunt from Zack and a laugh from the rest of us.

"As you can see," Robin laughed a little, "The kids are out back in the pool." She reached over and peeled the boy away from Zack, "Let's let them come inside, shall we?" Scott had wandered over, offering to help Mike bring the bags inside. I carefully avoided Scott for now, watching after him as he offered me a small smile.

He seemed quiet, which struck me as a thing to watch for. I hadn't even been around him five minutes and I was already suspicious, but I also knew full well that was my own doing. That had nothing to do with my gift. Just instinct.

The very same instinct Carlisle had explained to me just a few weeks ago. The instinct I'd learned when I was young. The instinct that had developed through being in constant danger, with Jack's influence on me as a small child. That instinct made itself known now, and reminded me of Carlisle at the same time.

I stayed with Heather, listening to her and Robin chat a little about our trip here as we slowly made our way toward the house. From the pictures I'd seen, the boy being led by Robin must have been Daxton, except he looked bigger than he was in the pictures. Just a scrawny thing, but obviously overjoyed. I'd finally found someone I was taller than. He grinned over at me, obviously just as friendly as his mother. Blue eyes, brown hair. The looks that seemed to be normal in this side of the family.

Josh and Zack followed us, so I wasn't as uncomfortable being in the front group.

Just as we were walking in the front door, two girls came running in from the sliding glass back door on the far side of the house.

"Good." Robin called, "You girls come in here for a minute."

"Mom," The bigger one called, "Can I have a popsicle?"

"Yes, but come in here first." She replied, "Come and meet Leandra." They both wandered over, both clearly just having gotten out of the swimming pool, given their attire and limp, soaking wet hair. They offered smiles of their own, not seeming put off in the least at having to come over.

I was introduced to the whole group, starting with Scott, someone I'd already studied for myself. He seemed friendly enough, but not friendly in the way that would effectively scare me off. Not yet.

Daxton, of course, then Taylor. She looked older than me, but Ryanne was the one that looked closer to my age, which was a little depressing when I remembered she was only nine. Ryanne was just a smidge shorter than me, not even half an inch, and not much smaller than me build wise. Maybe a little heavier than me. Not chubby, but she definitely had more substance to her than I had to me.

Taylor had the longer hair of the two girls, almost down to her butt, while Ryanne's was cut shorter, just barely brushing the top of her shoulders.

Both had blue eyes like their brother, and the resemblance was unmistakable between the three kids. Ryanne looked exactly like a younger version of Taylor, and Daxton looked like a younger, but rounder, more boyish-looking version of Ryanne.

All three of these kids were also friendly enough, but I really wasn't sure about Ryanne. She seemed the most bored out of the three, and already reminded me of someone that constantly needed to run around, or she'd go nuts. Those kinds of kids were always trouble. Exactly like a female version of Zack.

"Why don't you three go on outside?" Heather suggested, "Go have fun." I had no doubts that the adults wanted to catch up a little before their focus was completely taken by us kids.

I doubted I'd have any fun right away, but I couldn't exactly make myself be rude and tell her that, so I followed Josh closely. We made our way toward the back of the house, toward the kitchen where Taylor stopped to fish a popsicle out of the freezer.

"You guys want one?" She asked us, and I was surprised to not be the only one declining.

"No thanks." I mumbled while Zack shook his head and she accepted that, letting the door close. Ryanne was the first one out the back door through which Taylor and Ryanne had both wandered, closely followed by Zack and Daxton, which didn't surprise me in the least. Josh and I followed Taylor outside, and onto the smooth, raised deck that had been built back here.

My first glance of the backyard had me amazed. The front didn't look much like this at all, but the back yard was clearly mostly for the kids. Everywhere passed the deck was grass. Just grass that stretched on for quite a distance.

The sheer size of this above-ground pool off to the left of the deck was insane. Probably ten to fifteen feet across, from edge to edge, and probably four or five feet deep. It could probably hold twelve kids, much less just three. Inflatable toys littered the grass around it, and a few had managed to stay in the pool.

The back yard was certainly big enough to handle a pool that big. The back deck was big enough to hold not only a whole outdoor kitchen, but multiple furnishings as well. Beyond the deck, was the extensive grassy yard, complete with outdoor play area that didn't look like it got much use, a very large swimming pool, and a very large, fenced trampoline.

On either side of the back yard, sat nice, wooded areas. Trees just threatening to overtake the yard. Not quite ominious, but both wooded areas insisted caution. I wasn't sure how far the neighbors houses were, but probably pretty far, considering those wooded areas were pretty thick from the looks of them.

"Wow." That was all I could say as I looked around. Josh gave me a knowing smile, probably having had the same thoughts I did at some point. The house they lived in might not look like much from pictures, but it was probably worth a lot more than the house we lived in, just by the backyard alone.

Daxton stepped around us frozen on the top step of the deck, and hauled himself back into the pool. Ryanne followed him, already attempting to drown him.

"Don't mind them." Taylor had stayed with us, sitting down on the step we stood on and unwrapping her popsicle, "They're always like that."

"I would be too with a back yard like this." I mumbled, and she laughed a little. I felt a little better with that laugh, sitting down next to her. Josh sat down to my other side, Zack wandering forward to look at the pool.

"So how old are you?" She asked, looking over at me, "Mom says you're ten, but you don't look it."

"I'm eleven, but I'm pretty small for my age." I admitted, drawing my legs up a little.

"It's okay." She said, "I've always hated how tall I am. Tallest in my class."

"Me too." Josh replied with a small laugh, "But I don't care."

"You've always been tall, though." She told him, "It's because uncle Mike is so tall."

I stayed out of that discussion. Choosing to focus on Zack instead. Despite the fact that he wasn't dressed for swimming, he was hanging on the side, practically halfway in the pool already.

Somehow, with six of us back here and three of us sitting down, the backyard seemed busy. I wondered if it was like this all the time.

"You guys wanna jump?" Taylor asked, pointing to the trampoline with her popsicle, "You can. You just gotta take your shoes off first, after what happened to the old one."

"Sure." Josh replied, standing up. Taylor followed him, but I stayed seated. I wasn't sure about that thing. Neither of them seemed to notice me staying behind, though, which I didn't mind in the least. Though I couldn't help feeling a little abandoned by Josh. He'd told me just that morning that he'd stick around, but I didn't mind so much, as long as nobody cared if I stayed behind or not.

Sometimes I hated how anxious I was around new kids. I would love to just warm up to people the way Zack or Josh could. I knew they'd been coming here for years, but that was beside the point. I didn't exactly feel like I fit in here, despite knowing Josh and Zack for awhile by now.

Sure they were nice enough, but I was still pretty reluctant to just walk around like I owned the place. Thankfully, the grown-ups decided to join us outside at that point, giving me an excuse to stay up here on the deck. Scott got started on cooking, but everyone else chose to sit around on the furniture out here in the shade.

I was a little uncomfortable, so as she offered, I found and stuck close to Heather's side. She didn't seem to mind in the least, and it wasn't like I was trying to eavesdrop. I mostly watched the other kids out in the yard, which everyone eventually noticed.

"Sweetheart," Robin laughed a little, and I looked to her, "It's okay to go and join them."

"They won't bite." Scott added, and I blushed a little, shaking my head and looking down. They really didn't understand. Not many people did, so they wouldn't be alone in that aspect.

"She's shy." Heather explained, "She doesn't have much experience around other kids yet."

"Oh, dear." Robin laughed again, "And this is where you brought her to practice? You know how Ryanne gets."

"I think here is the perfect place for her to practice being around other kids." Heather assured her, "She'll warm up."

"Dax used to be the same way until he started school." Scott replied, "Remember how he used to be? Now it's almost impossible to keep him still."

"We're hoping that'll help." Heather nodded, "She starts school with the boys next month." I couldn't exactly take that back now. I'd agreed, but I couldn't help wondering what I was thinking. That thought no longer appealed to me.

"Oh, that look." Robin laughed, reading my expression and causing laughter to round the group. I had to laugh a little too, embarrassed at being caught pouting. Reaching over, Heather smoothed my hair, comforting me significantly.

"Zack," Heather had caught sight of what her son was up to, "Go change if you want to swim." He looked back at us, his arms and shirt soaking wet.

"Sorry, mom." He called back, hopping off the side of the pool. I watched him jog up the steps and into the house.

"Your bag is in the girl's room." Heather called after him.

"'Kay." He called back.

"You're welcome to swim too, kiddo." Scott offered, looking to me, "I'm positive there's room in there for you somewhere. If not, then just kick Ry out. She's been swimming enough today."

"No thanks." I mumbled. I was just fine where I was, and I knew they were beginning to understand that. I pursed my lips, sitting closer to Heather who laughed a little.

"Oh, honey." She sighed, smoothing my hair down my back again. I appreciated that, but I also knew it bothered her to see me so withdrawn.

Zack came running back outside, now in proper swimming attire, but I wasn't sure why he bothered, because the sun was on its way down already. He wasted no time, though, in hopping over the side sideways, splashing everything within a five foot radius, drenching even part of the deck.

I sighed, shaking my head.

As it turned out, I couldn't hide up here for very long anyway. Taylor and Josh both joined us as well, probably being summoned at the smell of food. Josh took the open space beside me, and Taylor took the open spot beside Robin.

"I can't get over how much these kids have grown." Heather spoke up and the pride in Robin's smile was unmistakable, "Since Christmas, even."

"I tell you," Robin replied, "It's been so hard keeping these kids in clothes that fit. Every time I turn around, someone's pants don't fit, or that one needs new shoes." She laughed again, "I certainly don't mind summertime when these kids choose to practically live in their bathing suits."

"I bet." Heather laughed, "Believe me, I feel your pain."

"And you've got a third one now." Scott pointed out, "You're in for it, Mike. I swear. Girls are a lot harder to raise than boys are."

"Now that, I doubt." Mike chuckled, "I haven't had to sort her out really but once yet."

"I'm not talking about how much trouble they get into." Scott replied, "Boys will have girls topped every time in that department, but imagine later on. Boys are easy in the way that you've only got to worry about the girls they fancy. Girls are harder in the way that you've got to worry about _all_ the boys out there that fancy them."

Taylor laughed a little, and I knew Scott was already speaking from experience.

"She's barely eleven, and I'm worried sick." Scott went on, "Boys these days, I swear have no proper role model out there."

"Dad." Taylor sighed, the word being whined.

"You don't have to worry." Mike waved it off, "Because my niece knows if she finds herself in some trouble, I'll kick her behind from here to Washington. She knows better." He looked to her, "Isn't that right?" Taylor just laughed, looking down. I was glad the focus was off of me.

"But look at it this way," Scott shook his head, "You've got one just as pretty to worry about now." He gestured to me, and I immediately looked down. It was nice not having their focus on me while it lasted, but now that that was up in flames, I just blushed.

"I see your point." Mike muttered.

"Leandra's a good girl." Heather stuck up for me, "I don't think she'll be a problem."

"It's always the good ones that go bad out of the blue." Scott pointed out with a chuckle, "I'm not convinced there are any good ones left out there."

"I won't be trouble." I muttered defensively.

"I'm gonna hold you to that." Mike chuckled, "I think I need that in writing, honey." The laughter made me blush even more, which I didn't appreciate.

"Mike," Robin spoke up, "Tell me. Why didn't you stop in and see mom and dad on your way into town?" Thankfully, the subject was now changed. With how quickly that had turned on me before, though, I knew better than to be relieved.

"Oh, do we have to go over this every time?"

"You know that fight you had with dad is ancient history." She went on, "You know he'd love to see you and Heather. Not to mention their _grandsons_."

"What was it about?" I asked quietly, and they glanced to me, "The fight?"

"It was bad." Robin laughed a little, obviously volunteering to be the one to tell me. She went on, "Let's just say.. Our parents were the _really_ protective kind. Strict as all hell, please pardon my language, and had a set plan for both of us while we were growing up and made sure we knew it." I was following so far, so I nodded.

"Mikey here, well.." She hesitated a second, "He didn't exactly approve of the plan set for him. He wanted his own life. Not the life our father set him up for. After high school, Mike was _supposed_ to get his butt into Cornell and live the rest of his life to become the best doctor in the world. He had potential. Boy, did he, so it wasn't like he couldn't get in. Flawless grades, extra curriculars.. Big into sports, boss on the football and baseball teams. Finest application I'm sure they'd ever seen. Even if he didn't somehow manage a scholarship, he'd be going there."

"But..?" I prompted, interested now.

"Well," She sighed, "He didn't exactly approve of that kind of life for himself, and one night.. He let our parents know that that wasn't going to work for him. I swear, the neighbors are still talking about that little argument he and our father had. You can't just crush both parent's dreams like that without expecting some kind of resistence. There was cursing, blaming, accusations flying every which way for probably an hour before Mikey decided it'd be a good idea to take a nine iron to dad's car."

I blinked in surprise.

"Now, don't think badly of him." Robin insisted, seeing my expression as I glanced over at him, "He was a kid. A stubborn, hot-headed and rebellious kid that wanted his way for once. So.. After that night, he took what money he'd earned at his place of employment, and he left town to find his own way. He was eighteen, so it wasn't like our parents could say a damn thing about it.

"Our dad was pretty pissed for a long time, but he got the car fixed up. Good as new, but nobody, not one of us knew where Mike had gone. We didn't hear a word from him for.. Oh.. Probably five years."

"Four and a half." Mike defended himself.

"And by the time we did," Robin went on, "He'd found an amazing girl, fell in love, and planned to stay there working on his own business to raise this boy." She smiled pointedly at Josh who laughed a little, "And the little boy that came two years after him. Just a baby back then. Now, our parents are lucky to see him once a year."

"Wow." I had no idea before.

"Yeah." Robin laughed a little, "And well.. You can say I followed in his footsteps. I did go to college. I'm not some big important doctor like they wanted me to be, but I did become a veterinarian, and that's just fine with me. Scott here is the big-shot, and that seems to please them well enough. All that matters to me is that our kids are well taken care of."

I nodded a little. I could understand that.

"We just do what we can to raise good kids, and from the looks of things, he's doing a fine job with these boys." Robin smiled again at Josh, who looked down with an embarrassed smile. I nodded again, agreeing fully this time.

With a smile, Heather reached over and lightly fluffed Mike's hair. He chuckled, still clearly uncomfortable but he captured her hand, and kissed her fingertips. I couldn't help smiling a little at that sight. Just like I always did when they showed affection in little ways like that.

I was a lot less uncomfortable after that discussion, and I was positive it showed. Josh and Taylor both chose to return to the trampoline, and this time, I chose to follow them. I wouldn't get onto the death trap, but I could stand by the side and watch.

Ignoring the rest of the kids for now laughing in the pool. There was still a little bit of a wait before dinner would be done, but I didn't mind that too much.

The further it fell into evening, the sun falling further, the rest of the kids got out of the pool to join Josh and Taylor on the trampoline to dry off. Try as I might, I couldn't understand the appeal of jumping up and down. Dax stayed on the ground with me, keeping me company, but mostly because there wasn't much room for him up there without him getting trampled on.

So he and I sat on the grass, watching them up there, and waited for dinner to get done. The evening trees started singing with cicadas, the pulsing buzz almost a homey sound, before a whistle from the deck told us food was done. As much fun as the ones jumping seemed to be having, the call to food was too impossible to resist. Dax ran forward first, having a head start, considering he didn't have to climb down.

I hung back, despite my own hunger. I'd let everyone else get theirs first.

I didn't have to worry too much, because there was plenty for all of us. Which I was grateful for, because Zack was already coming around for seconds while I was getting mine. I didn't mind that much, considering it looked like nobody had even gotten anything yet, there was that much.

I understood completely why Scott decided to make that much. By the time everyone was done eating, pretty much everything was gone. Four bags of chips, gone. A pile of hamburgers and hot dogs, demolished. Zack had to have eaten his weight in everything, practically falling asleep in his seat on the patio couch. Dax had already lost that fight, laying beside him even despite the conversation still going around the group.

Nobody seemed to mind just leaving him there until it was time to go inside to get changed and cleaned up for bed. Scott scooped Dax up off the couch, much to Dax's displeasure, and carried him inside with a chuckle.

I took my time standing up, just sitting there. Just wanting to be out here a little longer. I listened to the cicadas in the trees, buzzing away and the conversation and laughter coming from inside the house. Oddly enough, even with where I was right now with so much to distract me, I felt alone. I was a homesick. I missed home. Not the home I'd come to know recently, but my old one. I missed it a lot.

This place was nothing like home. As much as I'd run from just weeks ago, I wanted that back desperately. The slight smile I'd worn for the last hour or so faded, replaced by the frown I knew my emotions caused.

I couldn't help hoping, yet again, that they were somewhere close by. I couldn't help looking toward the portion of trees that I could see. It was dark out there now, only the light of the back porch to see by and that didn't go very far, but that didn't sooth the disappointment I felt when I didn't see anything worth seeing.

"Leandra?" Heather was coming to see why I wasn't inside yet, "Come on in, sweetie." Probably seeing my expression, she stepped back outside with me, "What is it?"

"Nothing." I mumbled, finally tearing my gaze away from the trees. I shrugged a little.

"You look like you're waiting for something." She observed. With a soft sigh, she sat back down beside me, "I know they're a little much at first."

"It's not that." I shook my head, looking down.

"You miss home?" She asked, and I nodded, "I know how you feel, sweetheart. We'll be back there before you know it." I wanted to tell her that it wasn't her home I missed. I didn't, though, worried that she'd be hurt, but she seemed to understand that without me having to say anything, as she spoke again.

"We'll be back before you know it," She repeated, "And I know they're going to want to see you. I know they're going to want to hear all about the trip, and all the things you did and saw. Just think about everything you're going to be able to talk about when you get back. That should help, honey."

Just having her know what I was going through was helping.

"Just a few more days, sweetie." She offered gently, "Now, come on. Let's go inside."

With a nod, I sighed and stood up. I hesitated as I stood there, though, as the cicada sound stopped in one portion of the trees. It was faint, hardly noticeable to anyone that wasn't paying attention, but in one area, the insects fell quiet.

I knew exactly what to listen for, and the silence in that one spot made me smile as I looked back toward it. That silence was comforting to me. I felt a thousand times better instantly, knowing that there was a reason for that silence.

"Better late than never." I muttered under my breath. Which was true.

"Leandra." Heather laughed again, "Come on in. The mosquitoes are chewing you up." Reminded, I looked to her again. She was right, of course, but I couldn't help wanting to stay out here even longer now. Instead, though, I turned with her and this time made my way inside.

Sleeping that night was interesting.

The girl's room had been cleaned up, and of course, they both got their own beds, but everyone else got the floor. The room was certainly big enough to fit all of us, but it was still interesting. Zack and Daxton both took the left side of the room, closest to the door near the foot of Ryanne's bed, and Josh and I got the right side of the room, just under the window closest to the foot of Taylor's bed.

I thought piling all of us up into one room was bound to cause trouble, but it never really did. At least for the first night, as all we did once we got in there was go to sleep.

Well, everyone else did. I laid awake. Smiling to myself, knowing that someone from my family was near by. Once I was sure everyone was asleep, I turned over and kneeled up. Peering out the window. I just wanted to see if I could see anyone. I couldn't, of course, but I really tried.

This side of the house looked out over the right side of the yard, the thick trees close enough to touch from the window. I wanted to try, but I didn't want to wake anyone up. My arms folded on the sill, just resting there.

"I miss you." I whispered anyway. Hoping someone was out there to hear. The sleeping breaths of everyone else continued, but I didn't hear a response. Of course I wouldn't. Maybe with all the people here, they couldn't tell where I was in the house?

As much as just knowing they were nearby made me happy, I'd have given anything to see them.

Just when I was about to give up, I did notice movement down on the ground, just inside the trees. I couldn't see exactly who it was, but I knew there was someone out there. More than one someone, but it was too dark to see exactly how many. I kneeled up straighter, my attention caught.

Whoever this was didn't seem like they noticed me, but I definitely noticed them. I waited, watching whoever it was, until within the time it took for me to blink, they were gone. Leaving nothing behind but a slight rustle of the leaves as a sign that anyone had been there.

I laughed as silently as I could, ducking back down and laying on my back. I settled back into my sleeping bag, my smile still in place as I rolled over. Sighing, I let my eyes close.

Oddly, I passed the night without waking up, but I knew that wouldn't last for another night. Six kids in one room was interesting enough, but breakfast the following morning was even more interesting.

I was the first to wake up, but just laid there. I didn't feel like leaving the room of this strange house on my own. Thankfully, Josh woke up next, and I followed him up and out of the room.

Downstairs, there was already activity, so I knew we weren't the only ones up, but first, it was a bathroom stop. Surprisingly, Josh let me go first, and I waited for him outside in the hall. He was my security blanket for the time being, despite how the smell of pancakes downstairs wanted to send me running.

Once everyone else woke up, it was practically chaos. I was surprised the kitchen wasn't completely destroyed before all of us kids made our way outside. The morning bright, sunlight already warming everything up out back.

It was too cold to go swimming immediately, despite how Ryanne and Dax bugged to do so.

Instead, we got some exercise, kicking a soccer ball back and forth across the bare area of grassy yard with Scott and Mike. Josh, Taylor and I were on Mike's team, thankfully, everyone else against Scott, Ryanne, Dax and Zack. On more than one occasion, I kicked the ball straight at Zack's head. I nearly had him once, but the ball wound up in the pool, and everyone wound up laughing too hard to retrieve it right away.

Zack got the ball out of the pool, and kicked it back as hard as he could, while I was distracted by Taylor saying something. It came right at me, and it nearly got me, but I was pretty startled when Mike suddenly picked me up and whipped me out of the way.

"Keep it on the ground, guys." Scott told us, laughing a little. Mike set me back on my feet easily, and I smiled a little.

"Thanks." I told him, and he ruffled my hair a little until I ducked away.

It went smoother from there, and we kept it on the ground from that point. I tripped, hitting the grass more times than I could count, often taking someone else down with me, but I was alright. I was far from coordinated, but that didn't stop me from trying.

Thankfully, Taylor was very understanding. Laughing it off as much as I did when I'd make her trip too, and Josh was always there to help us both up.

The pool got its use before noon. Dax and Zack both insisting enough for them to give in and tell them they could, just to shut them up. I joined them this time, and found out just how deep it was. It came to just above my head, so it was about four and a half feet deep. Now I understood why Dax wasn't allowed in the pool without someone else in there with him.

I stayed by the side, which was safest, considering the roughhousing going on between Ryanne and Zack. Ryanne made me think of the tomboyest tomboy out there. Not afraid to get dirty or rough. I considered myself a pretty set tomboy as well, but I wasn't willing to try to drown someone or get drowned in return. Dax sat beside me on an inflatable chair, watching them in the other side of the pool. Taylor and Josh stayed with us for the most part, but when I started getting cold, I climbed out to dry off a little, and surprisingly, they followed me.

"Hey," Taylor spoke up as we wandered off over the grass, "You guys wanna see something?"

"Sure." Josh replied, shrugging a little.

"But you can't say anything." She stressed, pointing at him, "Not to anyone. It's a secret." I wasn't so sure.

"Okay." He laughed a little, pushing her hand away. She turned to the pool.

"Ry!" She called, gaining her sister's attention, "Come here."

"No." Ryanne called back.

"I wanna show them the thing!" Taylor countered. That got Ryanne moving, instantly making her way to the side. Dax insisted on her helping him to the ladder first, so she dragged him over, waiting for him to make his way out. It really made me wonder what this thing could be, if it was important enough to get them out of the pool.

We all waited patiently for the other half of our group to make their way to us. Once we were all here, Taylor looked around and led the way. We followed her off toward the trees on the edge of the yard, Taylor going on about how this was a secret, and we shouldn't tell anyone. Stressing her point.

None of the adults were out here, probably inside talking in the kitchen or something. The underbrush and foliage kind of hurt on the bottoms of my bare feet, and all of us wandering through here in our bathing suits, still dripping wet from the pool, was a little awkward, but it soon didn't matter that much.

I was surprised to find exactly what she was talking about. It was shaded in here, nearly completely isolated from any view of the house, but up in one of the stronger trees was a tree-house. Crudely built, slightly tilted and probably very unsafe, but I found it very fascinating. They'd built this on their own? It was hardly anything more than some platform nailed a million times to the trunk of the tree, but it was still interesting.

"Wow." I couldn't help that, and she smiled over at me.

"It's not that good." She replied, "But we spent like a week building it from the stuff daddy didn't use in the garage."

"I helped." Dax announced proudly.

"Think he noticed?" I asked, looking over at her.

She shrugged, "He never said anything, so I don't think so."

"How'd you even do it?" Zack asked, which I couldn't blame him for. I was curious too, and I knew he wanted one like it at home.

"One board at a time." She laughed, "I got up on the ladder, and did the first five here." She pointed towards the ones first secured around the tree, "Then just added more when I could. I nailed them together, and there's one board sticking up, but it's okay. I wouldn't let Ry do anything but hold the ladder, and Dax had to get the stuff. They probably would have just hurt themselves."

"Hey." Ryanne didn't appreciate that.

Taylor smiled again at me, "Wanna go up?"

"Um.." I hesitated, "You first."

"Trust me." She said, starting forward, "If Ry can jump around on it without it falling, it's safe." I watched her round the tree, following along slowly. On the back side of the tree were four thick boards nailed to the tree as well, leading up to a narrow hole in the bottom of the platform. It looked like a lot of work to get up there, but she did it just fine. Ryanne followed her easily, pausing when Taylor paused for a better grip to hoist herself up through the hole. Dax right behind her, waiting his turn.

"Shoot." Taylor muttered as she kneeled there.

"What?" Zack asked, looking up at her from beside me.

"Splinter." She laughed, showing us her hand as Ryanne finished her climb, "So be careful when you come up." I glanced to Zack, and he shrugged as he stepped forward to the ladder. He made it look so easy, so I followed him. Josh bringing up the end, probably to make sure I didn't fall. Despite the way we both knew that if I fell, I'd land butt first on his head.

It was a little tough climbing straight up like this, but I eventually made it.

It wasn't that high up in the tree, but from where I stood, it seemed a lot higher. Especially over the other side, as the hill started to slope downward, further into the trees. I didn't trust leaning on the handrails built, because it looked like one good breeze would crumble it, but I didn't hold that against them. This was pretty amazing. I could never even imagine building something like this on my own.

We stayed up there for quite some time, but I began to grow nervous. Getting up was one thing, but getting back down was going to be interesting. I wasn't the biggest fan of heights, and I worried about being unable to get down.

When it finally did come time to get down, I'd freaked myself out so much, and couldn't make myself step down. I knew in the first five seconds of hesitation that I wasn't going anywhere.

I tried to copy the others' movements, using the sides of the bottom to brace myself to step down, but the first step down seemed really far away. The more I tried to force myself to move, the more nervous I got.

"Come on." Ryanne rushing me didn't help. She was really pushy, which was a quality I didn't appreciate in a person.

"I think I'll just stay up here." I replied, and Ryanne sighed heavily.

"You can't." Taylor told me, "The grown-ups are gonna notice we're gone so long."

"I want to stay." I argued.

"Come on, Leandra." Zack called, looking up at me, "You can do it." He knew I was scared, and though his vote of confidence wanted to help me, it wasn't enough. I hesitated, eventually shaking my head. I couldn't.

"Should I go get my dad?" Zack asked, looking over at Taylor.

"No." She whined, "Then my dad will find out, and probably be mad."

"Well, then how do we get her out of there?" He asked in return.

"Quit being a baby." Ryanne told me, and I glared at her.

"I'm not a baby." I snapped, "I just want to stay here."

"I'll tell my dad not to tell your dad." Zack offered, "He's pretty cool about this stuff."

Sighing heavily, sounding suspiciously like her sister, Taylor groaned, "Fine."

All of us stood around while Zack ran off. Ryanne sighed again.

"I could go up there and push her off." She suggested.

"You do that, I'll punch you in the face." Josh immediately told her, and for a second, I was relieved he was there. Until she clenched her fist and held it up, challenging him.

"Stop it, you two." Taylor crossed her arms, rolling her eyes.

"Look, Leandra." Dax climbed up again, "Like this." He tried to show me how to get down again, and though I did watch him, it didn't help. He sat up there with me for a minute, before he spoke again, "I used to be scared too. It looks really high up, but it's not really. Once you get down the first time, it's easy to get down after that." I appreciated his attempts to help me.

It got quiet after that, until Zack returned with Mike in tow. The second Mike saw me, though, he chuckled.

"Well," He came to stand beneath the platform, "When Zack said you were stuck in a tree, I certainly wasn't expecting this." I didn't appreciate him laughing at me. The top of his head was about a foot below the bottom of the platform. A foot too high for me to comfortably let him pluck me down.

Mike looked to Taylor, "You guys built this?"

"On our own." She replied almost proudly.

"Impressive." He nodded, chuckling again.

"Thanks." She grinned.

"Dad." Zack reminded him of why he was there.

"Right." He said, looking up at me again, "Okay, you're going to turn around, face the tree, and just-"

"I can't." I cut him off. I knew how to get down. I just couldn't do it.

"She just sort of freezes." Zack explained, "She's afraid."

"Ah," Mike understood now, "Can get up, but can't get down." I nodded a little, shameful, "It happens to the best of us, sweetheart, but we've gotta get you down from there somehow."

"How?" Zack asked, "I don't think you'll fit up there."

"Oh, thanks." Mike laughed, giving his son a glance, "I'm not talking about going up there. She's gonna have to come to me."

"You mean jump?" Ryanne asked, interested.

"I can't jump." I squeaked. If I couldn't use the ladder, what made him think I could jump?

"Look," Mike told me, stepping forward, "Sit on the edge here." His fingertips could just barely reach the edge of the platform, "From there, it'll be easy." He had a point there, so I sighed and did as he suggested. Moving forward, I held onto the edge tightly as I sat down, my legs dangling off.

"Now," He spoke again, "Just sort of scoot off. I'll catch you."

"I don't know." I wasn't so sure about that.

He smiled, "It's okay. Look, I can reach your foot." His hand gripping my bare toes gently, "It's like.. An inch of a drop. Just push off, and I'll catch you."

He was right, but I whimpered. It was a lot more of a drop than that.

"Come on." He urged, clearly confident. His open hands ready to catch me.

Taking a breath, I held it as I forced myself to scoot off the edge of the platform. Yelping as I dropped, blindly reaching for him to catch me. I felt his hands catch my weight easily, holding me up for a second before he lowered me to my feet.

It surprised me how easy that was. He sure knew what he was doing, and somehow, it also surprised me how he didn't drop me or let me fall. As soon as I smiled, the others laughed a little.

"See?" Mike asked, "Not so bad, was it?" I shook my head, and he chuckled, taking my hand lightly in his as we all started toward the house. I was still slightly shaken up, so I allowed him to hold my hand. I was glad I did so, because I stumbled over the bottom step of the porch, and he held me up. Keeping me from hitting the deck steps face first.

"Whoops." Was all he said, not laughing at me or anything. Unlike Ryanne behind me. I didn't like her so much anymore, giving her a look.

It was lunch time, so it was more kitchen chaos, followed by back outside to let the food settle before it was back into the pool. Safe in there until dinner, but this time, I did get sunburned.

I wasn't the only one, thankfully. It was all of us, and after showers that night, it was time to get some Aloe cream spread on our burns while we watched some TV in the living room. That was far from comfortable, and Heather had one hell of a time getting me to sit still. I wasn't the biggest fan of pain, and somehow, it didn't sit right with me that it had to hurt more to feel better.

Dax was the only one that cried more than I did, but I kept mine silent.

"Next time," Scott was saying, "We won't forget the sunscreen, will we?"

"I'm not going to insist you guys stay inside, because I know that won't go over well," Robin added, smoothing more cream over Ryanne's back, "But stay out of the pool tomorrow, okay? Let this set a little."

That got almost the whole room whining. Ryanne and I, both sitting on the floor, glanced at each other. She gave me a look which told me that the pool ban wasn't happening. Until she was turned around by Robin.

"Now the face."

"Let me do it." Ryanne requested, and she allowed that.

"Just make sure you get everywhere." Robin told her as she poured a little bit of cream onto her hands.

My yawn was the first indication of the busy day we'd had, and it was bedtime not long later. I was too tired and too sore to get up once I'd settled into my little nest, closing my eyes almost immediately.

I felt better in the morning, the burn not as intense, so I knew the grown-ups knew exactly what they were talking about when it came to that cream they made us put on the night before.

The next day started early, all six of us going out back to play in the back yard. Thankfully, nobody suggested going back to the tree-house platform thing, choosing to jump on the trampoline and eye the pool for later. It was warm outside already, but still too early for the moms to let us go swimming, and not to mention the ban hadn't been lifted yet. It was bound to happen, though.

Everyone else piled onto the trampoline this time, except for me. I chose to stay sitting off to the side at first while the others had their fun. The grass felt sharp on my burned legs, my shorts not providing much coverage.

"Ry," Taylor eventually said, "Get off so Leandra can get on." She didn't seem to mind, sitting up where she'd fallen and bouncing to the edge.

"No," I said, "It's okay."

"I gotta pee anyway." Ryanne muttered.

"Don't tell me you're scared of this too." Taylor called to me, bouncing her way to the edge as well.

"No." I grumbled, "I just don't want to jump around like a moron."

"Just try it." Zack urged, coming to Taylor's side, "Come on."

I hesitated as Ryanne landed on the grass, making room for me to get on. I sighed, stepping forward and gripping the outside bar.

"Shoes off." Taylor reminded me, which I complied. I pushed myself up, rolling over the padding covering the springs. I stood up before I could stop myself, and immediately, the difference hit me. This was nothing like the solid ground.

"Whoa." I couldn't help smiling a little, and Josh laughed next to me.

"Now jump." He told me, and as a test, I gave a little jump. That was all it took to get me hooked. I didn't ever want to get off this thing.

Over the course of the next several hours, I learned to do a flip mid-jump. Starting off with a simple turn in mid-air like the others, before Zack taught me to flip forward. At first, I could only land on my knees, before I figured out quickly how to land on my feet.

"I can't even do that." Ryanne whined from next to me.

The parents had all gathered out on the back porch to talk while we entertained ourselves with the trampoline, and after enough time, the pool ban was lifted, but only if we all coated ourselves with enough sunblock to paint the house. Zack and I practiced flips while the others played some stupid game in the water.

Until Zack got the bright idea to jump from the trampoline into the pool, and started a whole new trend, bringing the backyard game to a whole new level. The rule was to land like you were sitting down. Otherwise, it'd hurt to land with how shallow it was.

We only got to do that a few times before the parents caught on, and abruptly put an end to that.

Bummed, but still entertained by jumping, Zack and I continued flipping. Before the day was even over, I'd learned how to flip backwards too. At first with Zack's help, ready to catch me if it didn't work out, but after awhile, he didn't need to stand ready anymore. I couldn't land standing up yet from a back-flip, but I'd save learning that for the next day.

I was exhausted that night. Barely able to stay awake through dinner, hitting my sleeping bag hard. I had never spent this much time outside before. Even lunch and dinner was provided outside, so I got far more sun than I was used to.

The next day started off about the same way, except I learned fast that it was our last full day here. Because of that, they decided to throw a little party. Nothing huge, but it was enough.

Some of the neighborhood kids came by, a few of Ryanne and Taylor's friends, which made taking turns on the trampoline extra difficult. The back door stayed open with all the parents coming and going from the house to outside, and the barbecue grill was going nonstop since noon.

I thought it was busy before? That was nothing compared to now.

Mostly I just concentrated on my group, the kids. Zack, me, and another kid worked hard on getting the timing right for the three of us to do flips at the same time, and we came close, but it just didn't work. I was too light, but landed faster than they did. I worried about getting landed on, but it never happened.

Moving from the trampoline back to the ground was always a weird feeling. It made my legs feel like jello, but it was fun.

Somehow, I made it through the day without feeling too much nervousness at all the new people. Maybe a little bit in the beginning, but I had too much fun to stop and worry.

Taylor was off entertaining some of the older kids, Josh keeping a few busy in the pool, Ryanne and the younger ones standing in awe at the flips going on on the trampoline, and I bounced between the three groups.

Not one person, not even Ryanne, was unpleasant to me today. It was almost like the entire time I'd spent avoiding people my own age was all for nothing. I wasn't worried about what they'd say, or how I'd react. It just never came up. I had more laughter than I knew what to do with, more activity than I knew how to handle, and yet even more sunlight. Snacking constantly all day when my stomach would tell me I'd worked through whatever I'd previously eaten, which wasn't in the least a problem, and somehow, I was still starving come dinner time.

Once all the people were gone, and it was time for bed, I felt sad to see the day end. I'd had a blast today, and wanted it to keep going. Thankfully, however, that wasn't the end of the day's activities.

We all sat up, awake in the room once we were in there, talking. Even Dax was wide awake, and though this was a big change from the previous couple of nights, I soon figured out why.

"So." Taylor said from her bed, but on her way to stand up, "How late do you think they'll stay up this time?" I frowned a little, watching her move for the closet. Stepping over me on her way.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused as she started digging around inside the messy closet.

"Well," Ryanne replied, taking my attention, "It's sort of like a tradition of ours. I forget how long ago it started, but whenever the guys come visit us, on the last night they're here, we always go back outside after all the grown-ups go to bed. Until we're too tired to stay out there anymore."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it's tradition." She replied, "It's how it's worked for years."

"Oh." I muttered, not understanding any more than before, but I had one more question, "What do you do out there?"

"Whatever we want." Taylor replied, emerging from the closet, shaking a flashlight with two held under her arm, "Last year, we made so many s'mores on the grill." She laughed, "Zack threw up all over the place." He laughed along with her, and I joined in, "He almost got us caught, but we made it back in bed before we could get caught. Mom never figured out why her potted plant died." She frowned, looking back, "Ry, where are the extra batteries? This one's dead."

"Same place, but in the shoe box on the other side." Taylor nodded at her instruction, dropping the flashlights on the floor and going back into the closet for another look.

"We only have four flashlights, so we'll have to share." Ryanne told us.

"Who gets one?" I asked immediately.

"It depends on who can handle the responsibility." She replied almost smugly, "You can't turn it on or point it anywhere that the grown-ups can see, and if you have to, you have to hide the light. Know what I mean?" I nodded.

"I want one." Dax piped up.

"Not you." She barked at him, "Josh should get one, because he's oldest. Then Taylor, then me, then I guess either Zack or Leandra."

"She can have it." Zack said, "I don't want to have to carry it." Score.

I took the flashlight offered to me, grateful to have it. I turned it on to test it, accidentally blinding Zack, but he just laughed. It was nice and bright, and I found through shaking it, it was reliable.

Taylor grabbed one more thing, a plastic light-up pocket watch. Probably so she could tell how long we were out there, so if it got too late, we could go back in. I agreed with that.

It was passed midnight before we even bothered to open the door and take a look. It was silent and dark downstairs which told us the grown-ups had already gone to bed. It made sense, considering Mike and Heather had to handle three of us for hours tomorrow smashed into the car together.

"Clear." Ryanne whispered back at us, and with that, she led the way out into the hall. It was a quick trip through the dark, and with everyone else with me, I couldn't stop to get worried. I just followed Dax, Taylor following me. Down the stairs, round the bottom, through the kitchen, out the back door and outside. It was exactly silent until the door was shut behind us.

"You're pretty good." Taylor laughed, looking to me, "You've done this before, haven't you? If I wasn't looking at you, I wouldn't have even known you were there."

"I'm pretty good at moving quietly."

"Well it worked." She added, and I smiled a little.

"What do we do now?" Dax asked, looking around us in the dark.

"We could jump?" Zack suggested, but Taylor shook her head.

"That'd make too much noise." She said, "We have to be quiet, remember?"

"We could swim." Dax suggested next, but Josh shook his head.

"Too cold." He replied, "That doesn't sound like much fun." I was glad I didn't have to be the one to bring that up. As it was, I was the only one willing to speak up about caution, and got the bad rap because of it.

"He's right." I offered, "I don't like being cold." I rubbed my aching stomach. It'd been aching pretty much all day, and I didn't know why. Ignorable until now. It was still ignorable, but now I could afford to pay it some attention.

It was pitch dark out here, nobody wanting to turn on any lights and get us caught. We stood in the darkness, just thinking for a minute.

"Hey," It was Ryanne that had the winning idea, "Let's go up into the tree."

"Okay." Zack agreed, obviously excited. Then he looked to me, along with most of the group. I could hear the hesitation in their silent stares.

"I'll stay on the ground." I muttered, and they all nodded.

"I'll stay with you." Josh offered, which I appreciated. That got us going, down the deck steps and the second my bare feet touched the cold grass, I shivered. My pajama shorts and thin t-shirt offered little protection against the cool summer breeze out here, and though I mentioned it before, I really didn't like being cold.

Across the cool grass in the pitch dark, we all made it into the trees before turning on the flashlights. I followed their lead, helping Zack beside me see his way forward.

We made it, wandering through the trees for about a minute before we got to it. It was especially creepy out in the trees at night. I wasn't the only one looking around myself, which didn't really surprise me. Josh stepped forward, offering to hold the flashlight on the ladder for them as they all pulled themselves up.

"Okay." Taylor said once everyone was up, "Now turn it off."

"What?" I asked, "You never said anything about staying out here in the dark."

"Come on." She sighed, "Stop being such a scaredy cat." I rolled my eyes a little, but did as she said. Turning off my own flashlight as the others turned their own off.

Ryanne spoke this time, "Let's see who can last the longest out here without getting too freaked out and running for their mommies." She cut herself off, "Dax, don't go near the edge. Stay near the tree, stupid."

I could just barely see their shapes moving around in the tree as I turned a little. Finding the closest big enough tree and crouching down a little, resting my back against the tree. I felt better this way, but I still looked around nervously.

"We could always tell scary stories." Zack offered, "Or this could take all night."

"I vote we don't," I said, "And just make the stupid s'mores like you all did last year."

"Shut up." Ryanne told me, and I glared in her general direction, but did as she said, "Got any good ones, Zack?"

"Yeah," He said, "But don't tell her to shut up. She's smarter than you and me both put together."

"Thank you." I told him.

"That's not hard to do, Zack." Ryanne replied, "You're pretty stupid."

"No he's not." I immediately said, Josh saying the same thing at the same time. Glancing over as Josh made it to my side, I spoke again, "Come down here and say that."

"Geez," Ryanne muttered, "I was just kidding."

"Well, kid about something else." I snapped up at her.

"Shut up, all of you." Taylor grumbled, "Are you two idiots trying to wake everybody in the neighborhood up?" We all fell quiet, "Tell your stupid story, Zack."

As Zack got to talking, Josh sat down next to me, sharing my tree. He found a stick, just to give his hands something to do. He was about as bored as I was already.

Zack told one having to do with a driver in the middle of the night, standard stuff. I wasn't that creeped out by it, though, but it obviously worked on Dax, because he'd had enough of the trees and wanted down. So we paused the story-telling, and provided light for him to climb down by.

"Safe spot by the house." Taylor told him as he turned to look up at her, "Just don't wake up the grown-ups."

"Come with me." He requested in a whimper.

"I'll go." Josh offered, glancing to me. I nodded, letting him know it was alright. Dax accepted that, and Josh left with him, leaving us to the story-telling.

"I've got a better one than that." Ryanne said as the lights were turned off again. I followed their lead this time and turned mine off without complaint, despite how I'd rather leave it on. It was creepier down here on my own.

She told one involving a clown statue that actually did creep me out, along with the others, given their laughter. Taylor got into telling one about some dead kid, but my attention was taken by something further off in the trees.

I watched in that direction through the entire story, but I honestly couldn't tell what I was looking at. It was decent sized, though. I could tell that much. I tried not to think that it looked like the shape of a person, but it was way too dark to tell for sure. It could have been a tree for all I knew. It never moved, so I figured that's what it was.

Ryanne had to leave at that story, but she made an excuse about how she was cold, and wanted to go see if Dax was okay. Not really wanting her to fall and hurt herself, I kept my flashlight directed at the ladder, despite how I wanted to direct it toward the shape I'd seen.

Looking back over once the light was gone again, the shape was gone. Through a very mild form of panic, I tried to reason that it was probably because my eyes had to re-adjust to the dark.

Once Ryanne was gone, Taylor spoke up again.

"I think we should have a bet." She said, "Who's brave enough to last out here the longest." I wasn't sure I liked where this was going.

"I'd win." Zack immediately said.

"Alone." Taylor clarified, which got his attention, "You know there are bears out here, right?"

"That's true." I said, "There are bears, and cougars, and lots of that kind of stuff around here. I heard it last year when I lived here."

"And it can't be up here." Taylor said, already on her way down, "It has to be on the ground, like Leandra."

"I don't know if that's a good idea." I muttered.

"Since she's such a scaredy cat," Taylor went on, "Leandra can go first, since she'll give up the fastest."

"No I won't." I frowned, "And I'm not scared, okay? I just thought I saw something."

"I bet you couldn't last fifteen minutes in here on your own." Taylor challenged in front of me as Zack climbed down. I sighed and stood up.

"I bet I could." I countered.

"Okay," She accepted that, "But you have to go further that way. Just start walking, and I'll tell you when to stop." I hesitated, looking in the direction she'd pointed. Right in the direction that I'd seen something.

"You can do it, Leandra." Zack offered, "You've got your flashlight." Like that helped me.

"Unless you're too scared?" Taylor grinned.

"Fine." I snapped, "What do I get when I win?"

"I'll never say you're scared again." She said, but it wasn't like that mattered. We were leaving the next day, but I accepted by turning. Walking in the direction she said to. If it shut her and Ryanne up, I would do it.

With my flashlight on, it projected shadows in the close knit group of trees in a very creepy way. It was downhill this way, and though my feet slid a little, it wasn't too bad.

"Here?" I asked, stopping.

"Further." She said, "Keep going until I say stop." I sighed, but continued on. The further I went, the slower I walked, in hopes she'd think I was further than I was, since she couldn't see me anymore. I couldn't see her, so I assumed she couldn't see me. I was actually really creeped out, and thoughts of that clown crossed my mind. Even scarier than some story, though, I thought about bears. I was just about to insist that this was far enough, when I barely heard her voice call.

"Stop." She called to me, "Now stay there for fifteen minutes, and you'll win."

"Fine." I called back, "But go back to the porch." Why did I tell her to do that? Was I really out to win that much? How stupid could I be?

"You got it." She laughed, "I'll tell you when fifteen minutes is up. If you make it that long. And turn off the flashlight."

"What?" I asked, "Why?"

"That's the rules, stupid." She replied, "It has to be in the dark, or not at all." I hesitated, looking around me again. Was this really worth it? My heart was already pounding, but I wasn't sure I could last out here at all, much less without any light.

"Well?" She challenged, so I closed my eyes in dread and turned off the flashlight. Opening my eyes, I was now surrounded by complete darkness. Can't see my own nose in front of my face, darkness.

"Fifteen minutes, Leandra." Zack called, "You can do it."

I made my voice as confident as I could, "I will."

Far in the distance, I heard the clear sound of them turning and walking away. Making their way out of the trees like I told them to.

Once their steps went silent, I knew they'd made it to the grass, and I was suddenly so alone. My legs were already shaking in fear as I tried hard to see around myself, so I crouched a little. Leaning back against a tree like I had done before. I was in for a bit of a wait out here.

I thought about what would happen if I had to make it out of here in a hurry. I'd probably trip and kill myself, and nobody would know what really happened, because they'd no doubt lie.

Trembling from head to toe now, I was very tempted to turn the light back on anyway, but keep it hidden. I wasn't sure if they could see it from the house or not from where I was. Nearly on the very bottom part of the hill, a flat portion of ground filled with old leaves and lots of sticks that hurt my feet. Trees in every direction, darkness making them seem closer.

I whimpered quietly, but suddenly shut up as I sensed something moving to my right. Panic flooded through me, and I froze.

It was especially dark in this area, and I literally couldn't see two feet in front of myself.

"Guys?" I asked quietly, despite the way I could clearly hear their voices way over by the house. I was quickly beginning to regret agreeing to this. I jumped, standing up and squeaking at the sound of someone suddenly directly beside me. It was just a sense, something telling me someone was there. It could have been all in my head, but I didn't buy that.

"You shouldn't be out here." I sighed heavily. It was just Carlisle. The relief was instant. Like night and day. I wasn't alone anymore.

"It's a dare." I replied quietly, "They thought I'd be too chicken."

"Well, tell them you're not." Mikah had come with him, "And get your butts back inside. It's not safe out here right now."

I finally began to pay attention to their tone. They were worried.

"What is it?" I asked, worried myself.

"Just go." Carlisle replied, "And don't come back out here."

"I can't." I replied, "I still have like twelve minutes." With that, I turned on my flashlight, wanting to see them better.

I caught sight of Carlisle first, as he was closest. Mikah next, as he stood just behind Carlisle. I smiled a little, cupping my hand over the light, mostly blocking it as I turned and sat back down.

"Fine." Mikah said, "Ten minutes, then you go in."

"I promise." I replied, watching as Mikah crouched, looking at me closer.

"You're sure a sight for sore eyes, princess, I must admit." He smiled a little in the dim light. I thought the same thing, but it puzzled me. He acted like he hadn't seen me since I left.

"Haven't you been around?" I frowned a little.

"No." He replied, "We've all been a bit busy elsewhere."

"Wait." I sat up straighter, "I saw Emmett. The first night we got here."

He frowned, looking up at Carlisle.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, I couldn't really tell that it was him, but I definitely saw someone. It sort if looked like him, so I just thought-"

"Goddammit." Mikah suddenly stood up, "Didn't I tell you, Carlisle? I knew that was just a distraction."

"Keep your voice down." I looked over at Esme's clear voice coming from the right, further in the dark, "They're listening." She stepped closer, leading Rosalie.

"What's going on?" I asked, standing up again.

"Hi, honey." Esme greeted me warmly, accepting my hug easily. She studied me a bit, "Looks like you got a bit of sun." She smoothed my sunburned cheek with the back of her fingers, and though it was a little uncomfortable at first, it felt good almost immediately. Soothing the burning sting of my face.

"We couldn't follow, Carlisle." Rose reported quietly, "It just disappears."

"Where are the others?" Carlisle asked, "If you can, gather them here. Our focus now needs to be on Leandra, and only on Leandra from this point forward." With a nod, Rosalie turned. I stayed hugging Esme, not wanting to let go yet.

"We leave tomorrow." I told him, taking his attention, "To go back. I don't know how long that'll take." I hoped this information helped him. He gave a nod, obviously appreciating that.

"It's so good to see you." Esme told me, and I appreciated that.

"It's good to see you too." I mumbled in reply, though I closed my eyes. Committing this feeling, her hugging me, to memory. She had no idea how much. I missed them intensely, and she had no idea. I'd seen them pretty recently, about a week before this whole trip started, but that was far too long in my opinion.

"Shorty's been cooked." Emmett came through the trees next, and I smiled a little over at him, "Hi, shorty." I couldn't help releasing Esme, only to hug him. I missed him quite a bit.

"It doesn't bother me as much." I replied, referring to my sunburn, "Heather put some stuff on it, and it stopped hurting last night."

"What are you doing out here on your own?" He asked.

"It's a dare." I repeated, "Taylor said I couldn't last out here on my own, and maybe she's right, but I'm not on my own anymore."

"You okay?" He asked me, probably referring to how tightly I hugged onto his side.

"I missed you." I whimpered quietly, closing my eyes again, "A lot."

"Aw, shorty." He replied, smoothing my sore shoulders, "We've missed you too. Probably more than you can imagine." I glanced over as Rosalie returned.

"Hey wait." Emmett chuckled as he picked me up, "You're bigger." I couldn't help laughing a little as well.

"I am eleven now, you know." I replied, "I'm still not as big I should be, though. Taylor is way taller than me."

"She's just weird then." He countered, "You're just fine the way you are." I appreciated that, but he frowned a little, studying me, "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You're- Oh." He cut himself off, glancing immediately to Esme, "Uh.." He set me back on my feet, and though I was confused, I allowed that, "She has no idea, does she?"

"Nope." Mikah muttered. He'd been oddly quiet and distant this whole time.

"Well, someone better tell her, or she's got a big surprise coming to her." Emmett replied.

"Tell me what?" I asked, worried, but Esme's smile was comforting as she gently took me aside.

"Happy birthday, shorty." Emmett chuckled.

It was there, off to the side, where Esme quietly reminded me of one specific important moment in growing up that I had clearly forgotten. The first mention of it, though, I slapped my palm to my forehead.

"I completely forgot." I admitted, and she seemed surprised.

"You knew?"

"It happened earlier last time." I replied, "But yeah. I forgot about it, even though Heather reminded me about it a few weeks ago. Don't worry. I won't be scared this time. I know what it is." She seemed relieved. I frowned, though, "Would sitting down just make it worse? I can't leave the trees yet. I still got a few minutes, or they're gonna think I'm scared."

"It's not too bad yet." She assured me, "Just hardly started. Just keep the activity to a minimum until you can get inside and let Heather know to help you out." I nodded, accepting that.

"Sorry." I said as I made it back to the others.

"Don't be sorry." Emmett replied instantly, "You're kidding, right? You don't have a choice in this, shorty. It's a good thing. It means you're growing up." I couldn't help smiling a little at his reply.

I looked over, though, as Alice and Jasper both arrived, and Carlisle seemed to ease his tension a bit.

"Nothing." Jasper reported with a sigh, "This is frustrating." He paused as Jasper looked over at me, "Has anyone-"

"She knows." Esme thankfully replied, "She's aware."

"Then why is she out here on her own?" Jasper asked, "Shouldn't she be in there, uh.."

"It's a dare." I explained, "I have to be out here for a little longer."

"Five minutes." Mikah specified, thankfully. I was glad he was keeping track. I couldn't help being glad, though, that I took this dare. Being able to spend this time with my family really, really helped.

I hugged onto Esme's side again, unable to help it but she didn't seem to mind returning the embrace.

"How's your trip been so far, miss shorty?" Emmett thought to make small talk, making the most of these five minutes.

"How much time do I have?" I asked.

"Four minutes now." Mikah replied quietly.

"It's been okay." I answered, "Too much to talk about right now, but it hasn't been bad."

"Not bad is good in my opinion." Emmett pointed out, "Looking forward to going back?"

"God," I groaned, "No. It sucks so bad being stuffed into the back seat with them for hours." He chuckled, "But I will be glad when we get home. I'm pretty over this travelling thing."

I sensed the difference as everyone fell silent, looking toward the direction I had come.

"Leandra?" I heard Taylor from the yard, "Are you still alive?" They were early. I whined, not wanting to let go of Esme, but I knew I had to.

"Coming." I called louder, hoping that would stall them.

"We'll be around." Esme assured me quietly as I reluctantly let her go.

"I miss you guys so much." I whimpered sadly, "So, so much."

"When you get back, we'll request a few more days with you." Carlisle offered, and I nodded immediately. That worked just fine for me. For some reason, it surprised me that they'd be willing to do that just to make me feel better. This separation was my idea, and my choice. I should be made to feel this lonely, not comforted.

"Okay, princess." Mikah spoke, reminding me, "Go."

I hesitated until he nudged me lightly back toward the house. Turning me at the shoulder, and pointing me in the right direction, "Go on."

I knew better than to ignore his repeated attempts to get me to listen, especially when they were so insistent. The other kids must have been approaching. I started back up the hill, and though it was a little more work getting back up than it was coming down, it wasn't too bad. Especially when compared to the activity of the last few days.

"There." I called quietly ahead of myself as I finally left the trees behind, "Happy? Can we go back inside now? I'm tired." Sure enough, there they were.

"It's my turn now." Taylor said, "I'll go how far you went, and stay for twenty minutes."

"But-Uh-" I tried, but she had already turned. No doubt they knew she was coming. I took comfort in that.

She wasn't in there for longer than two minutes, giving me just enough time to sit down on the grass before she was suddenly hopping out with a squeal. Pale and on the very verge of tears.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked, surprised.

"I heard something in there." She sniffled, looking back at the trees, "I swear, it was a bear or something. It-It growled. Whatever it was, it sounded big." I did what I could to hold back my fit of laughter. Knowing full well who that was.

"I heard that, too." I said instead, standing back up, "It didn't scare me." She gave me a look, "Just don't bother it, and it won't bother you. Go on. Give it another try."

"Um," She replied, "No." She laughed, though, "God, that scared me so bad."

"I'm not going in there if there's a bear in there." Zack laughed nervously, "I think Leandra wins this one." Smug now, I smiled at her. Leave it to Emmett to scare her into giving up much earlier than me.

"If there's a bear," Dax spoke up, "Can we go inside? Please?"

"Yeah." Taylor immediately said, "Let's go back inside." She was only too eager to lead the way back toward the house.

I looked back at the trees, "Thank you." I whispered, smiling a little before following the group. It was very faint, but I clearly heard Emmett's chuckle in the darkness. It made me laugh a little to myself as I jogged to catch up.

I hesitated on the deck, though, the last one to go inside, as I looked back toward the trees once more. Wishing I could see them one more time.

Seeing them filled me with the strongest sense of homesickness I'd ever felt. Choking me up, and forcing me to sniffle back emotion. I missed them more than I thought before, and I wasn't afraid to admit that anymore.

Before anyone could get impatient, I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, locking it.

I made my way to the bathroom, just to check out the situation in there, and found it wasn't bad at all. Just a tiny bit of pinkish blood, but I was glad I had the heads up. I dug around under the sink, finding a pack of small enough pads that I could use, and hoped Taylor wouldn't mind me taking one until I could talk to Heather the next day.

Now uncomfortable, I made my way back into the kid's room, laying down in my nest of blankets. Grateful to be warm now as I settled in to sleep.

 **A/N: I did mention I was making this chapter longer, didn't I?  
I'm sorry this took so long. RL just suddenly got really hectic, and I could only work on this in my very limited spare time. It should start evening out after this weekend, so it shouldn't be as long of a wait next time.  
I really hope this chapter makes sense. I'm admittedly a little rusty, but I'm learning how to get back into the swing of things. I hope this chapter was worth your time, as I could use a bit of encouragement at the moment.  
THANK YOU! To those that reviewed last chapter! THANK YOU! I can't tell you what those mean to me.  
As I mentioned before, chapter four will be on its way as soon as I can possibly get it out to you.  
Until four, my friends! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

We all pretty much slept in the entire morning, and Scott had to come wake us up around eleven just to make sure we got something to eat before having to leave. I was tired, and definitely crampy in a way I wasn't used to, so that gave me the perfect excuse to talk to Heather.

She understood immediately when I mentioned exactly where I ached, comforting me easily and handing me an Aspirin.

After we were all finished eating and with a lot of time spent on goodbyes, Heather rounded us all back up into the back seat, and waited for Mike to say his goodbyes to his sister and nieces.

All in all, it had been a good trip so far, but I was very much looking forward to getting back into my own bed. I wished we'd have had time to visit Alyssa and her bunch over near Ithaca, but we weren't there long enough to do so. Plus, it would have been weird to me to see Alyssa without my family around.

I wasn't looking forward to the drive back, but I knew once this trip was over with, I could see my family again and ask them what was going on the night before. It already felt like too long since I'd seen them, and I had to wonder if they were hiding somewhere nearby, ready to follow us back. I sincerely hoped so.

Several hours of travelling later, though, that was nowhere on my mind. We were going to camp out again, but considering it was pouring rain and everybody was tired, it was best to go with a hotel. Zack and I both had massive headaches, and neither of us would have handled having to sleep on the ground very well.

It was pouring rain, though, and oddly, that seemed to get to everyone in an intense way. Zack and I were busy arguing, probably really loudly, over who would get the floor that night. His argument being that he got it last time, plus the entire time we spent in New York. My argument being that I just didn't want it.

Josh had gotten used to ignoring our arguments by then, but this seemed to be too much for him, which should have been a sign. Josh spoke often, trying to get us to be quiet, even offering to take the floor himself if it'd shut us up, but we had gotten going at that point. There was no compromising.

The only thing that did shut us up, was Mike's irritation.

"Christ, you two!" We shut up at his snap, "I'll take the damn floor. Leandra, you can sleep over here with Heather. Now both you, _shut up_!"

That was the first time he'd ever had to correct me like that, and though I could easily understand why he'd finally had enough of our loud bickering, I didn't like it. Not one bit. I hated to admit that it upset me, so I hid it behind anger.

Neither did Heather, for that matter.

"Mike." She spoke firmly, "Outside. I'd like a word." I was glad she insisted, because the second they were out in the hall, the door closing behind them, I stood up. Crossing the room in a hurry, stepping into the bathroom, and shutting the door behind me. Luckily, this one had a lock, so I used it.

Sitting on the floor in front of the bathtub.

I lost count of how many knocks came to the door minutes later. From both Mike and Heather. Mike trying to apologize, Heather asking me to come out or at least let her in. I refused. If they needed to use the bathroom, they were out of luck.

After awhile, with enough time to cool off, it became a matter of embarrassment. The reason why I stayed in there became even more personal to me. I had no idea what time it was anymore, but Heather must have stayed outside the door the entire time.

Once more, I slept in the bathroom. This time on the tile, which was just as cold as the bathtub would have been, but this time, nobody could come in and wake me up.

I hadn't had to act like this before around them, and though I was deeply embarrassed, I couldn't help it. It was a defensive thing in my mind. I just didn't want to sit around and get yelled at again.

I jumped, startled awake after the crappiest night's sleep I'd gotten in a long time to another knock at the door.

"I'm telling you, mom." Zack spoke from somewhere in the room behind the door, "She's not going to come out. We should call the-"

"No." She spoke again, shutting him up, "Zack, go out to the lobby with your dad. Let me talk to her."

I forced myself to sit up, whimpering at how sore I was. My headache was still as pissed as ever, and now, the rest of me was as pissed as my headache was.

"Leandra," Heather tried again when I assumed it was safe, "Come on out, honey. Please open the door. He didn't mean to snap like that." I gave her no response. Just like all of the other times. I listened to her sigh, "It's time to leave now. You've been in there all night."

Oh. Then I had to leave the bathroom. That left me no choice. It was either stay in here and get left behind, and have to spend another night in here, or give up and just lock myself in the bathroom of the next place.

I opened the door, and I couldn't help noticing her surprise that I did so. Stepping passed her attempts to hug me. I didn't want a hug. I wanted to be left alone. I was tired, I was moody, and I was in a lot of pain at that point.

This day's travel was silent. Very silent. Though I was sure someone wanted to address it, nobody did. I kept my eyes out the window, Josh in the middle focused on whatever book he was reading, and Zack kept his eyes out his window. Every now and then Heather would sigh pointedly and look over at Mike and he'd ignore it, but that was pretty much it for the conversation.

We stayed at another hotel, because somehow, Mike knew we weren't up for camping again. Without bothering to ask anyone, I threw my pillow on the floor and dragged over an extra blanket. Folding it over for some sort of padding between me and the floor. I couldn't handle another night without warmth.

"I can take the floor tonight." Zack offered, seeing my mood. I just gave him a look, and he didn't offer again. I was tired enough to sleep outside if I had a heavy enough blanket, so somehow, the floor didn't sound too bad.

I spent a total of five minutes in the bathroom to change into my pajamas, and returned to find that it was just as silent in the room as the car ride had been. I settled in my thin nest of blanket, watching everyone else take their turn in the bathroom, but I was already snoozing. Curling up under the blanket, it was actually kind of cozy.

I woke up probably a few hours later, though. Very sore from sleeping on the floor, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fall back to sleep. It stopped being cozy a long time ago, and I felt the effects of that, so I got up, dragging my pillow with me and crawled up onto the bed.

Between Zack and Josh, there was just barely enough space for me to squeeze myself in between them, laying on my side. On my back, it wouldn't have worked, but facing Zack, I could do it. In my quest to the middle of the bed, I accidentally woke Josh up enough to make him roll onto his side, which he did, so I fit even easier.

I settled into the warm spot, and didn't move again until Josh was already out of bed behind me the following morning. Somehow, Zack and I wound up close together. Him facing me, me facing him, both out cold. I noticed this as I woke up to Heather taking a picture. Noticing Zack so close, I whined and rolled over. Taking Josh's vacated spot, though I wasn't sure if he was coming back or not. I doubted it since Heather was already up and Mike not far behind.

Me moving woke Zack up, and that was it for the sleeping.

It was right back into the car about an hour later, and we continued our silence all the way through the next night, and through the next day until we got home. We finally got home that evening to pouring rain, which didn't help the mood any. I took my bag and pillow, heading straight for my room.

I didn't even know I was capable of being angry and hurt this long over something that seemed so small now, but I was. I was capable of it, and I couldn't do much to fix it. I probably just needed some sleep to fix this attitude, because I really didn't like feeling this way. My stomach tumbled like an angry swarm of bees, and no amount of absentmindedly rubbing it would sooth it. My nerves stretched to the point of snapping. I wasn't used to being like this, so I had no idea how to change it.

I'd certainly missed my bed, and took a nap until Heather was at my door with some pizza. I was hungry, so I accepted her food offering and her company.

"Honey," She started as I ate, "He didn't mean to snap at you like that."

"I don't care." I muttered, "It doesn't even matter anymore."

"Yes it does." She replied, "This," She had me look up, "Matters. He feels really bad for what happened. He was tired, and worried about his sister, and the bickering had just gotten to be too much for him to handle, but you guys are just kids. You're going to bicker. What happened wasn't your fault. It was his."

I shook my head, looking down, "I don't want to talk about it." I hesitated before I spoke again, "He doesn't like me much, does he?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I can just tell." I replied quietly, "I can tell when people don't like me. He's a little different, though."

"That's not it at all." She assured me, "He likes you just fine, sweetie."

I didn't believe her, and showed it with a small shrug.

"Cheer up, sweetheart." She murmured, kissing the top of my head briefly, "I'll be downstairs if you need anything." I nodded a little, allowing that. I was glad she decided to leave me alone.

Once she left the room, closing the door behind her, I moved. Leaving my bed and my pizza, and crossing the room to the window. I was lonely, but not for anybody here.

I lifted open the window, sighing as I leaned on the window sill.

"Hi, guys." I muttered, keeping my voice quiet, hoping somebody would be out there. Sure enough, both Mikah and Emmett stepped from the small group of trees my bedroom faced. The night dark around them, I knew they weren't worried.

"Why the long face, shorty?" Emmett asked, obviously disappointed, "Why don't you look like you had the time of your life on the trip back?"

"Because I didn't." I replied.

"Uh-oh." Mikah muttered, "What happened, princess?" They must not have been close enough that night to hear what happened.

"It was fine." I replied, "I mean, it was going good up until we had to leave. We pretty much didn't get along the whole way back." I looked down at my hands clasped together, "Zack and me.. We were fighting over who would have to sleep on the floor that night, because the bed wasn't big enough to fit all three of us. Mike got mad, and yelled at us. I got mad and spent the night in the bathroom."

"I see." Mikah murmured, nodding a little.

"What did he say?" Emmett asked.

"It wasn't anything bad." I shrugged a little, "But how he said it is what made me mad." I sighed, "I don't think I'm gonna fit here."

"Give it some time, shorty." Emmett told me, "This is a big change, and I know it'd mean a lot to you for it to work out."

"Yeah," Mikah agreed, "Give it a chance. You said it was going fine until that happened." I nodded a little, "You can't let one little disagreement like that chase you away from trying."

"But I miss you." I whimpered, "So much."

"We're still here." Emmett reminded me, "We're not going anywhere. At least, as far as I know."

"I know," I countered, "But still. I miss you. A lot, and I can't be around you all the time if I'm here."

"Carlisle's going to talk to Heather in the morning." Emmett told me, "You'll come stay with us soon enough." That helped. That honestly gave me something to look forward to.

I fell asleep that night, my window wide open just so I'd be closer to the ones outside.

Another fight over the bathroom commenced the following morning, this time it was an urgent one. He and I both yelled at each other, waking up the rest of the house until Heather had to come sort it out. I hated it when Josh was mad at me, but I was just as mad at him for barging in while I was in here. He'd never done that before, but oddly, I was more sensitive about it than I would have been before. I didn't get the difference, but it was clear.

My defensiveness was probably what caused most of the fight, and I'd be the first to admit to that if I had to, but that didn't seem to matter.

Just like I was told, Carlisle called first thing in the morning. Probably earlier than he normally would have, given the wall-rattling shouts between me and Josh that could probably be heard outside, but it was set. I had a week to spend with them, and though I knew it might bother Heather a little, it wasn't long enough for my taste. It'd be nice not to have to fight over bathroom rights for the next week.

I didn't mind that Heather would drop me off that afternoon, giving me time to have something to eat first. It was during that breakfast that I began to see how attached Heather had gotten to me. This trip wasn't just for helping me adjust, I realized. She'd gotten used to me being around so much, more than she was before, and me disappearing for a whole week would probably bother her.

Oddly, Josh had to be called three times to come eat. Nobody knew what he was up to, but he eventually did show up. He and I just glared at each other, eating in silence. I avoided looking at Mike, too. It seemed like Zack and Heather were the only ones I could tolerate anymore, but that ended fast when Zack tried to steal my food again, and I stabbed him hard enough with my fork to break skin.

I was in a bad mood anyway, and with knowing I had to wait so long before I could go home, my temper was too much on the short side. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing, and I'd reacted with too much force. I really hadn't meant to stab him that hard, but because of that, Zack not only got a new wound in his hand, but a two-swat spanking from Mike and sent to his room.

Then it was my turn. Mike turned to me once Zack was off to his room, and I stood up. I knew he was as unhappy with me as he'd been with Zack, and that was the problem now.

Apologizing wouldn't fix it this time.

Despite having reason to do it, it was still wrong to stab anyone with anything, and Mike had to be the one to teach me that. Ignoring Heather's protests, and my attempts to evade him around the kitchen, he wound up giving me three good swats across my butt, and I didn't appreciate that one bit. Two for what I'd done, and the third for screaming curse words at him and punching him in the stomach in my struggle to avoid the second.

I ran off to my room the second I could without him having to say anything, more mad than hurt. Leaving an argument between Heather and Mike behind me. Mike's argument being that he was just as responsible for me as Heather was, and Heather's being that I could have only been given one.

"Ha!" Zack called smugly from his room.

"Fuck off." I snapped at my slammed-shut door.

I ignored the knocks that came to my door. I ignored Heather nearly begging me to open the door. I ignored Josh's clearly upset voice doing some heavy duty arguing downstairs, and his bedroom door slamming shut at some point. Josh was upset too. About what, I wasn't sure, but I was sure he had his reasons.

I ignored the obvious sounds of both Mike and Heather arguing with each other over both Josh's and my behavior. It was at that point that I threw the pillow over my head. Trying to drown out the quiet rumblings through the floor of them trying to argue quietly downstairs. I hated to hear them arguing, and it only made everything worse. Everything was unraveling. Twisting apart.

I gave up listening to their arguments after awhile. All it did was worry me, and confuse me.

I eventually had to ignore the sounds of Zack and Josh arguing loudly in the hallway. I gathered that Josh was angry at Zack for something, but Zack was only angry in his defense.

It got to me, and I wound up being unable to ignore all the arguing anymore.

I kicked the wall as hard as I could in three, quick hits, "Shut the fuck up, all of you!" My shouted voice echoed, returning to me off the walls of my room, so I knew it had carried far.

"After you, princess!" Josh snapped in reply.

"I'm not the one screaming my fucking head off right outside your room!" I shouted, "And don't fucking call me that!"

"I don't see why we should listen to you when all this is your fucking fault in the first place." I hadn't expected that to come from Zack, "So how about you follow your own fucking advice?"

"How the fuck is this my fault?" I called in reply.

"All three of you, please keep it down, for crying out loud!" Mike had had enough of listening to our own argument, calling up the stairs.

"You first, fucker!" I'd had enough of being told to shut up, when all I wanted was for everyone else to shut up.

"Pardon?" I heard him ask. I knew he was more shocked than angry. My room was right by the stairs, so it really wasn't hard for him to hear me with how loud I shouted. Regardless, I didn't repeat what I said. Closing my eyes and just listening to the silence for as long as I could.

"Leandra." Heather was outside the door again, "Open the door." I ignored her, covering my head again. I could still vaguely hear her outside, knocking again, so I curled around the pillow.

I wasn't sure when she stopped trying. My locked door ensured I was safe from further arguments. Mainly, I just wanted everything to stop. I found myself desperate now, aching to just go _home_.

This day couldn't go by fast enough. I couldn't wait to go back, and have someone on my side for once. I couldn't wait to tell on Mike, and have Emmett come beat his face in. Of course I didn't really want that, but a week without fights and arguments did sound pretty damn good to me.

The arguing in the house eventually did quiet down, much to my relief, but by the time I was dropped off, I was in a horrible mood. Having had time to dwell on everything that happened, and though my butt only hurt a bit, the slight ache was a reminder I didn't want, and the second I was in the door at home, I hugged onto Esme and cried.

Concerned, she looked to Heather who'd followed along to explain what happened. We were led inside, and into the living room for her to explain. I allowed that, since it wasn't exactly her I was mad at.

Carlisle was standing there the whole time, his arms crossed in a tense way, but he wasn't angry with her. She was just as upset over it as he seemed to be, but with Esme here with me, I could start to calm down. I didn't blame Heather either, but I wasn't the biggest fan of Mike or the boys anymore. Right then, I didn't want to see any of them again.

"He was only going to give her two swats." Heather explained, "But.." She sighed, "She called him every name she could think of. Really.. Impressively letting those curse words fly, and punched him, gaining her the third. Now, please don't get me wrong. I don't blame her, and she even said she didn't mean to do it, but he still felt the need to correct her, and I can't exactly say he was wrong."

"I understand." Carlisle assured her, "And you say he's had to talk to her before?"

"During the camping trip." She nodded, "Purposefully, we all saw it, she tripped Zack as he was attempting to walk by her, and he fell. Nearly breaking his ribs on a rock sitting there."

"Leandra." Esme murmured, obviously disapproving but not pushing it.

"Thankfully, he was okay, but it was the worry that had Mike take her aside and talk to her." Heather went on, "After the drive back, I think tension was just high between everyone, and it came to a head today. After the shouting match between her and Josh this morning, I can't say I'm surprised."

"I see." Carlisle sighed, glancing to me as I watched him, "Well, I appreciate you explaining your side first." I closed my eyes briefly, sniffling a little as I tried to calm down and focused on the floor.

I was a little mad I couldn't just tattle and be done with it. This was still partially my fault, and I knew that, but I wanted to be the one in the right. I was heavily disappointed that they wouldn't feel the need to make me come home like I wanted them to. Everyone was there. They all heard her explanation before I could give mine, so tempers would be held. Unfortunately.

I didn't mind in the least giving Heather a hug before she left, which probably helped her leave me there at all. The second she was gone, though, I had to cry a little more. I couldn't help it. Though the swats he'd given me were nowhere near the intensity that I'd gotten from Jack, I didn't like it. No kid ever did like being swatted, I was sure, but I felt like this was worse.

I felt scolded in a way I hadn't been before, and I was sure that was the way I was meant to feel. I wasn't tempted to stab anybody again, that was for sure. The main point was, he hadn't hit me too hard. I wasn't injured, and I knew full well not to cross him again. I knew that, but I wasn't happy about it.

I should have expected absolutely everyone to be home, everyone except Edward, but it did surprise me to open my eyes at one point to see the room full. Now on top of being sore, I was embarrassed. Mikah stood back with Emmett, his arms crossed but clearly concerned. Concerned, but not angry like I expected him to be. Out of everyone, I had expected Mikah to be the angriest one, but he'd clearly heard the entire thing and he wasn't upset. Not in the least.

They all knew exactly what I was doing, though, when I expressed my main concern. They knew exactly what I was getting at with my pride hurt the way it was. Just as they always did, they saw right through me.

"I don't want to go back there." I muttered when I'd calmed down enough to do so. Beside me, the couch cushion had taken a lot of my focus. It was easier to face this couch cushion than everyone else's expectant gaze.

"You can't let something like this chase you away." Jasper replied, and I glanced a slight pout over at him, "There are bound to be moments like this in any family. Remember New York?"

"That sucked." I sniffled. Truth was, I hadn't thought about it that way. This whole unpleasant time, I'd never even thought to compare moments with my family, and moments with Mike and Heather.

"And this sucks just as much." Emmett added, "This will pass. I promise."

"But.." I mumbled, looking back down, "It's different there."

"Different, in this case, is a good thing." Jasper spoke again, "Different is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"But that was before." I replied almost silently, "I thought it'd be easy."

"Changing how you live is never easy, Leandra." He replied simply, "It takes work to find everyone's comfort zone when it comes to adding another person to the household. Right now, everyone is just trying to find that balance. We went through the same thing here, remember? All that time you spent hiding in your room was your way of trying to find your balance."

"But this is different."

"Different is a good thing." He repeated, "You can't just give up the moment it gets hard, Leandra."

"Don't give up, sweetie." Esme told me gently, finding the seat next to me and completely ruining my attempts to stare at the couch cushion instead of everyone else. I just turned my head a little, staring at the armrest supporting my right arm, choosing to focus on that instead of exactly how much pout I knew they saw in my expression.

"As much as we'd love for you to come home," Esme went on anyway, "Your happiness is what means the most to us. You deserve it, at very least."

"I'm not happy." I whimpered, holding back tears, "And I miss you." I looked over briefly, "So much. All the time. It never stops."

"Give it more of a chance, Leandra." Even Alice was all for me giving it another try, which surprised me, considering she was the one with the biggest problem with me leaving in the first place. She spoke again, "You would never have made this choice in the first place if it didn't mean everything to you."

"As much as we want to," Mikah murmured gently from where he now crouched in front of me. When had he moved? "As selfish as we really want to be, if we give in and let you move back in, we'll be completely squashing whatever chance at a normal life you left here to find."

Him, I could look at. Oddly enough. He was just as good to look at as the armrest of the couch. I knew I should have shut up, but I needed at least one person to understand my point of view.

"But I want to." I whimpered quietly, "It was so stupid of me to leave."

"No it wasn't." He replied, "It meant something to you, and I know when you calm down, it still will. None of us want to be responsible for taking this chance from you. It's your life. Only you can choose how you get to live it. None of us are going to make this choice for you."

"But I _want_ you to." I admitted, whining, "I never should have been able to make this choice on my own. It was so stupid. I'm so sorry."

"Would it help," He murmured, "If I told you that I'd have done the exact same thing he did?" That surprised me, signified I was sure by my silence and surprised blink. He smirked a little at my response as he confirmed.

"I would have." He gave a small nod, "Had you done that in front of me, I'd have given you a few more than just three swats. I agree with what he did, and it sorted you out, didn't it?" I looked back down, scowling at my shoes on the floor, "Going around stabbing people with forks, no matter the reason, is a good way to get your butt smacked. It's wrong, and now you know it's wrong."

I had to keep trying, "But-"

"It sure doesn't sound to me like he was out to hurt you, princess." Mikah went on, shutting me up, "He was correcting you in a way you would understand, and think about it. Zack got it too."

He was right. I knew he was right, but I didn't want him to be right.

"Take your time here," He told me, "Let things cool off, and try again. You'll see. It'll be okay." I allowed his brief smooth of my hair, comforting me a bit. He had to move away, but his impression stuck. That didn't fix the homesickness I still recalled clearly, though.

"That doesn't fix anything." I insisted, but my tone probably announced my defeat.

Thinking about that homesickness reminded me of something more, though. Looking back at them on the porch that night, I remembered how much I missed them. I guess I'd never realized how much I'd be missing out on when I made this choice, and that was my fault, but I did remember what had brought them there in the first place.

I sniffled a little again, calming down once more as I looked up and around.

"Can I ask what was going on the other night?" I asked, and by the looks, I knew they were hoping I wouldn't ask. That wasn't a strange thing to me. It used to be often that I had to ask that question, but oddly enough, as much as I hated having to do it before, I was glad to be given the opportunity to again. It was familiar.

"I'd prefer if you didn't." Jasper admitted, and I shrugged a little. I expected that, and I accepted that.

"How the hell did you get so sunburned, shorty?" Emmett was finally the one to ask, and unable to help it, I smiled a little.

"Spending too much time in the pool." I replied, "It wasn't just me, though. Everyone got burned."

"How long did you stay in there?" He asked, surprised.

"All day." I laughed quietly, "After I got stuck in the tree."

It was his turn to laugh as he asked, "You got stuck in a tree?"

That seemed to be the funniest thing to him, and thinking about it now, it was a little funny. Now that I wasn't still stuck in that tree, I could laugh about it. It sure wasn't funny when it happened, though. I blushed under my sunburned cheeks, giving a nod. Answering his question, but not minding doing so. It was a decent distraction from the horrible morning I'd had.

"How?" He insisted, "How, may I ask, did you get stuck in a tree?"

"Um.." I muttered, "I got up, but I couldn't get down?"

I was hoping that'd be enough of an answer, because I was pretty embarrassed about it, but of course. It wasn't. That answer was one that clearly went without saying, and I knew that, but his expectant expression emphasized that. Prompting me to continue without saying it.

"On that thing they built in the tree." I nodded a little, "I got stuck. I could get up there, but was too scared to get down. Mike had to get me out of it."

"And how did he do that?" Mikah asked this time.

"He stood there, and I jumped." I explained, "Not really jumped, but sort of.. Scooted. He caught me so I didn't fall, but it was still hard to get down, because it looked like it was a lot higher up than it was, I guess. That's why I didn't go up there the other night. Nobody knew we were out there, and I didn't want to get stuck again, so I was the one that had to stay on the ground."

"I was wondering about that." Mikah admitted, laughing a little.

"They said it was sort of tradition to go outside after dark on the last night the boys were there, and I didn't want to say not to, so I went along with them." I added, shrugging a little.

"So essentially," Mikah murmured, "You did have a good time?" I hesitated, thinking about it. Really thinking about it. The entire trip there had gone a lot better than the trip coming back.

"Yeah." I eventually laughed a little, "Besides throwing up. That wasn't so fun." Before they had to ask, I explained, "I get car sick."

"We knew that, honey." Esme laughed a little, smoothing my hair, "Why else do you think the trip we took there, I insisted you stay sitting up? It was so you could see the motion you sensed, and to keep you from getting sick."

"And when I carried you there." Emmett pointed out, "Remember how you felt when we got there?" I nodded, "That was car sick. Or motion sickness."

"No wonder it felt the same." I admitted, laughing with him this time.

It was no surprise to me just how easy it was to feel better, just by being home. Even if I did have the wedding to dread, and the absolute perfect opportunity to ask Alice about my recurring deeply confusing dream. I chose not to just yet, however. Things were complicated enough, what with trying to figure out how to make them make the decision to make me live here again.

It wasn't that they didn't want me, and I knew that, but I still felt like I had to make them want me again. This decision was one that was too hard to make on my own. I needed someone else to make it for me, but even I knew it didn't work like that.

After being home for just over an hour, I did manage to calm down a little more. I was still sore, of course, but I was okay. Physically, I was fine. Unscathed. I always had been.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Emmett was the one to bring me out of my thoughts, and I looked over at him.

"What am I always thinking about?" I asked instead of answering. My sly way of gauging whether or not to tell him what I was actually thinking about.

"Too many things." He answered easily, and I had to hand it to him. He did know me. I didn't even have to nod for him to know that he was right. He sighed, "Come on. Cheer up, shorty. It really can't be that bad there."

"I know it's not." I admitted, "It's really not. I mean, I like my room, and most of the time, it's not so bad. I just.." I shrugged a little, hesitating as I looked down. I had to think about how to finish that thought. When I did, I spoke again, "There isn't here."

"And you expected it to be?" He asked, and I shrugged again. I didn't know what I expected, but I definitely didn't expect to feel like this.

"No." I answered, "I knew it'd be different, but.." I paused for a sigh, "I don't know."

"I think I understand." Jasper spoke up, and I glanced over at him, "Leandra, you had your reasons for doing this."

"I _know_." I grumbled, looking down.

"I'm only reminding you." He assured me, his tone easy, "Do you remember what I told you the first time we ever discussed your gift?" His gentle tone really helped keep me from getting defensive, and in doing so, I could think about it. Humming gently in thought. After a silent minute, he reminded me.

"You have the ability to know what steps will lead you where," He said, "And who will be beside you while you're there. It's not up to you to control the decisions of others, but it is up to you to control your own."

I couldn't believe how much that fit now.

"You asked us to step aside, and allow you to make your own choices." He continued in that same gentle tone, "You're growing up. Getting older, and that comes with its own set of responsibilities. Any decision you make will come with its own set of consequences. Whether they're good or bad depends on the situation. Before you make any decision, it's up to you to weigh the pros and cons of said consequences."

I nodded a little, keeping my gaze down.

"It's up to you to decide what consequences you're willing to live with." He added lightly, "Leandra, you're a smart girl. You know now what staying here could _possibly_ mean, despite our actions to prevent such an outcome. You know what staying there could possibly mean. As Mikah already stated, this is your decision to make. None of us are going to make it for you. Should you decide to stay there, we won't stand in your way. Should you decide to stay here, of course we'll accept your decision to come home. Wholeheartedly, but either way.."

I saw what he was getting at. I couldn't exactly disagree with him.

"I understand that you were pushed into this decision by your own ability." He allowed, "I understand now just what a fear like that can push a person to do, but I also admit, I didn't understand at the time. You've always been brave, Leandra. That's no different now. But either way, you need to choose." I nodded again, taking a breath, but he spoke again, "However, I advise you to choose carefully. Give it some true thought. Don't make an impulsive decision based on what you feel right now, because as it always has, your happiness matters most."

"Staying there means I get a human life." I mumbled, mostly to myself, "I could just.. Not have to go through any of it. Aro, or Jack.. Any of it, but.." I trailed off, keeping my eyes down for a moment. Eventually, I looked back up at Jasper listening, "It feels wrong to me. Like I don't belong there, or I'm not supposed to be there."

"That'd be because you're trying to change the vision." Alice murmured, "To you, it feels so much like everything you saw was set in stone the second you saw it. To you it feels like you're trying to change the course of fate, so it feels wrong. Not even realizing yet that it already has changed."

"Give it some time." Jasper insisted, taking my attention once again, "Really consider what you're feeling. Remember how set you were to stay there just a few weeks ago. Think about how those emotions changed. Think about what you'd be turning your back on either way."

I nodded once again, taking another breath. I knew by the way he nodded as well that he'd made his point, and would stop pushing it. I appreciated that, and I did understand that I needed to make this choice carefully. It wasn't at all that I didn't like living with Heather. That wasn't it. I just really wanted to come home. The one place I'd ever really considered home.

"In the meantime, have you eaten lunch yet, sweetie?" Esme asked me, taking my attention instead.

"Not yet." I admitted, but I was grateful she'd asked. Now that I'd had a chance to calm down, I was pretty hungry. I hadn't eaten much yet today. With a small smile and patting my hand rested on my knee, Esme stood up.

Having had the discussion they felt they needed to have with me, most of the others turned and left the room. Emmett and Mikah stepped outside, and Alice and Jasper both turned away as well, but I wasn't paying much attention to them right then. I watched after Esme and Carlisle, who turned to follow her.

I was beginning to realize just how much shame I felt in myself over the way I'd treated both Esme and Carlisle. I knew for a fact that they would never even consider holding it against me, but it still bothered me deeply. They definitely deserved better from me, and I really hadn't given them any reason whatsoever to forgive me just yet.

"Just talk to them." I hadn't even seen Edward show up. I looked over, and he spoke again, "It could only help you."

I doubted that. Looking back down, I sighed. I felt like I didn't have the right to talk to them about all this. Like I'd lost that right the moment I decided to leave. The feeling of loss I had now almost rivaled the feeling I had the day I woke up on my bedroom floor. The morning after my first real vision of them.

"And that's exactly why you should." Edward murmured, "Leandra, no matter what it is you think you've done, they'll do everything they can to ease your worries." Jasper's attention was taken as he turned to look at me, Alice following suit.

"I can't." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down, "Besides. What would I even say?"

"Let me ask you this." He said, slowly stepping forward, "And I'd like as honest of an answer as you can provide. Why do you think it is you prefer here, to Heather's?"

I shrugged lightly, closing my eyes briefly in shame.

"Yes you do." He countered, "You do know. Those memories don't lie, Leandra. The tone of your thoughts doesn't lie. There's a reason, a good solid reason why you fought so hard to keep your place in this family, and there's a good solid reason why you can't just let that go. No matter the cost, no matter how much it could hurt, there's a reason you can't let that go."

"It's different now."

"How?" He asked, "Exactly how is it different now?" I glanced over as Emmett returned, his interest piqued as Mikah followed him back inside.

I sighed again.

"Go talk to them." Edward urged again, "It could only help you. You've had your chance to calm down. You've had over a month to calm down. To sort things out in there, and make some sort of sense of everything."

"I've made a huge mess."

"Then fix it." He insisted, "It's not fair to us, it isn't fair to them, and it definitely isn't fair to yourself to deny yourself the chance to fix it. Go on." Oddly, instead of Edward's bossiness making me defensive, I found myself listening to him. Standing up slowly, hesitating a moment as I glanced to him.

"Go ahead." He nodded a little, and that got me moving.

I wandered almost hesitantly into the kitchen, not wanting to seem like I was trying to listen in to whatever they were talking about. I absolutely hated that I felt like I had to feel this way around them, but honestly, I'd brought it on myself by not handling my reactions better. I knew that.

They both looked to me as I approached, but I kept my eyes down.

"Oh, honey." Esme sighed sadly, "Please don't look so sad. I know it's such a new thing to be corrected the way Mike corrected you-"

"It's not that." I mumbled, shrugging a little, "I'm okay." This was so hard for me to face up to.

"What is it?" She asked, concerned, "Is it still the homesickness?"

"A little, I guess, but not really." I admitted, and that seemed to help her understand a little more. Looking over at Carlisle, she smiled a little and gave a slight nod.

"I'll just be right in here." Esme murmured, and though I didn't protest, I wished she would have stayed. I understood though that this was the way I needed to approach it. Facing the one I'd hurt the most with this choice.

It was silent at first, as I really didn't know what to say.

"Leandra," He was the one to speak first. I glanced up at him before looking back down, "I can honestly tell you that whatever you might be feeling, it's okay."

"It's not." I mumbled, "I was so stupid."

"You had a reaction." He reasoned, "An understandable one." Before he was even finished saying that, I was shaking my head. It was hard to handle, this guilt and shame that I placed on myself, and no matter how hard I tried, I would probably never be rid of it.

It fell quiet again as I slowly stepped forward, reaching for and resting my hand on the back of the seat I usually sat in at the counter. It made me think of something else before I could start to cry.

"Remember when I first got here for good?" I asked quietly, "When I first let you give me something for my pain?"

"I remember." He nodded a little.

"I let you," I went on, "Because I thought.. Well, you'd already done so much for me, so why couldn't I just try a little bit? It might not have seemed like a big deal to you, but it was to me."

"I know it was." He replied, "I've always known it."

"I think that's why I'm so mixed up." I admitted, finally looking over at him for longer than a few seconds, "You know? I'm so mixed up, because now is so different than then, but I lived then too."

"I know." He murmured, looking down.

"It's so hard to remember you like that." My voice had quieted, "But.. As hard as it is to remember you like that, I don't think it's enough to make me not want to trust you anymore. I want to. More than anything. Even if I do lose you someday, you'll always be as close to a dad as I've ever had." He looked back up, "Even more than my real dad. So I think it'd be pretty stupid of me to lose that before I have to."

"You understand what this means?" He asked, obviously interested.

"I know." I nodded a little, "It means that I want to stay here. It's this way that nobody has to change anything, and even if I have to see Aro again, or Jack, I'd rather be here than over there. As long as I can be."

Before I was even fully finished saying that, I was lifted off my feet in a hug. A hug I instantly recognized as Emmett's, and a hug I'd desperately missed since before I stayed with Heather. I should have been a little irritated that he probably wasn't the only one listening in, but I really wasn't. I didn't care.

"You better be sure about this, shorty." Emmett told me, and though I was slightly breathless at the awkward position, I laughed a little.

"Are you positive this is what you want?" Carlisle had to ask, and I couldn't help remembering how often he'd asked me that before. Emmett slowly set me back on my feet, which I was grateful for, considering it would be difficult to answer him while being held the way I was before.

"I might have had a normal life there," I replied, "But who wants normal anyway?" He continued to wait, so I knew I had to answer him straight, "I'm positive. I mean, I'll still see them, but I can handle being away from them. I can't really handle being away from you all.

"Jasper says I have to think about consequences now. The good ones and the bad ones. The consequences for living there means I can't always be around you guys, and I guess I knew that from the start, but I didn't know before how much it'd bug me. Now I do." I smiled a little at Carlisle's small smile. Taking a breath, I nodded a little, "Yeah, I'm positive."

Another hug from Emmett easily told me that I'd made the right choice. I was quickly realizing that I liked it better when I made them happy. I absolutely hated letting them down, and I felt I'd been consistently doing that since I'd been gone. Now it was easy to feel the difference. Making them happy made me happy, and that really told me something.

The second Emmett let me back down onto my feet, I stepped forward and hugged Carlisle. As tightly as I could. It seemed to throw him off for a moment, but recovering, he returned my hug.

"I'm so sorry." I mumbled against his side, "I never should have let anything make me run like that."

"It was completely-"

"No it wasn't." I cut that off, closing my eyes, "It wasn't fair to you, or to anyone else to run away like I did. I promise I'll never do it again."

"What changed your mind?" I only glanced back at Mikah's question in the doorway he leaned against.

"I don't know." I replied honestly, "I guess my mind's been changed for awhile now, and I just.. Never really let myself believe it before."

"Growing up is hard enough without sabotaging yourself." He smirked.

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled.

I finally released my hold on Carlisle, smiling a little up at him as I stepped back half a step.

"I'll speak with Heather later today." Carlisle told me.

"I want to do that." I replied, and that seemed to surprise him a little. I went on, "I got myself into this mess, so I need to get myself out of it. If I let you talk to her, that's sort of like hiding behind you. I don't want to do that."

"Our little shorty is growing up." Emmett sniffled, and I gave him a look as Mikah chuckled.

"Leandra." Edward beside Mikah took my attention, "Can I have a word?"

"Which word do you want?" I asked, smiling a little at the obvious literal intent behind my question. He gave me a look, slightly amused so I knew he knew that I knew what he meant.

I stepped forward, back across the kitchen toward him. Following him as he turned, heading for the door. Which he held open for me. Taking the hint, I stepped outside.

We stepped off the porch, headed for the yard before he spoke.

"I just want to be sure." He murmured, and I looked up at him, "That this is what you want. I don't want you to, for lack of a better term, get everyone's hopes up."

"Can't you tell that this is what I want?" I asked, confused.

"I can see that this is what you want right now." He allowed, "But will it be what you want tomorrow?"

I knew why he was asking.

"Leandra, it devastated everyone when you left." He told me, "And I can't watch that happen again."

"I know." I mumbled, nodding a little, "Believe me, I hate letting them down just as much, but.." I took another breath, "I missed everyone so much, even after just being here. I don't know what it is, but I can't be away from you guys. You guys are my family. I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure that out."

"You needed a human influence." He nodded, "There's nothing wrong with that, and as happy as I am that you consider us your family, I know you need more than just a month's worth of human influence. You had your reasons for staying."

"I can learn how to be a good person from Heather while I live here." I pointed out, "But I can't live there, without any of you. Like.. It's way to easy to get into trouble without any of you watching me. I think I got away with way more living with Heather than I ever have in my life."

"Excellent point." He murmured, listening in to my recollection of the not-so-good events Josh, Zack and I got into over the last few weeks.

"I might have complained about being too watched before," I went on, "But I miss it now. So much. I miss having help with my emotions, and I miss having someone know my thoughts without me having to say them out loud. I miss my room, I miss this house. I miss everything about it. I miss everything about everything and everyone, and I.. I guess I know now that I don't _have_ to miss anything anymore. I know that I'm the only one making me miserable."

He nodded again, seeming convinced now.

"I just don't want you to lose hope."

"About what?" I frowned a little.

"It is possible for you to have both sides of it." He replied, "You can have your human influence too, for as long as you want it. None of us are going to stand in the way of that."

"I know." I said honestly, "I know that. But this is where I live." I glanced to the house.

He nodded once more, and I knew he had more on his mind. I continued to walk along beside him, our pace slow. Unhurried. I was silent, in case what he wanted to say required silence to come forward.

"And about the wedding.." Sure enough, he did have more to say. I looked down, unable to meet his eyes anymore as he continued, "I don't want you to worry. Things will be different."

"I don't want to talk about that." I mumbled, kicking a rock.

"Fair enough." He replied, "Just.. Please. Don't worry so much about it, okay?"

I only shrugged, letting him know I was done with the subject I never chose. Why did he have to bring it up? Now I couldn't not think about it. A breeze blew by, and for a moment I struggled with my loose hair fluttering into my face. I reached up, tucking it back behind my ear, which helped.

"Did you really slide down the stairs on a flattened cardboard box?" That question from him had me actually laugh out loud. I hadn't even noticed that memory crawl through my thoughts. Obviously, though, it had and he'd picked up on it.

"Yeah." I replied when I could, "We all did while Heather and Mike were at the store. It was _awesome_."

"They left you alone?" Oddly, that seemed to bother him.

"For like half an hour." I replied, "And technically, Josh was supposed to be watching us, but sliding down the stairs on the box was his idea."

"I can see now why you seemed to have more luck sleeping there." He nodded a little, "More activity during the day to keep your thoughts busy."

That reminded me, before I could stop it, of the consistent dream I'd been having. Rather, waking up from. Waking up, startled, with my name still ringing in my ears. Of course, he noticed that, and one glance told me he was paying attention to that.

"How long have you been having this dream?" He asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I dunno." I replied honestly, "Awhile." I looked up at him, "Why? Does it mean something?"

"I've never heard of anything like that." He admitted, "But if it continues, I would speak with Alice about it."

"Why would she know anything about it? It's a dream."

"It couldn't hurt." He replied, and I allowed that with a small shrug.

"But it doesn't feel like it has anything to do with my gift." I pointed out, "It's just there."

"Regardless." He murmured, "Keep an eye out." I knew what he meant, so I nodded.

We continued walking in silence. I wasn't sure this time if he still had something on his mind, and I knew he was listening to my thoughts, but I didn't mind that. I'd actually gotten pretty used to it. I had to admit, though, he was probably having an easier time overhearing my thoughts since they'd calmed down.

"I'll admit, it is easier." He confirmed, and I laughed a little.

"I haven't thought about things like that in a long time." I explained, "So I guess being there helped with that. I just hope those thoughts stay gone. I don't like being a bad person."

"You're not a bad person, Leandra." He replied, looking down at me, "You never have been. It's all about the influences you had growing up."

"Jack." I muttered.

"Jack." He sighed, "You learned too much from him, and none of that was your fault. Nobody has ever blamed you."

"I know." I shrugged a little, "But I do. I blame me."

"You doubt yourself so much." He pointed out.

"So when I mess up, nobody is disappointed."

"I'm afraid that is one area that Heather has yet to help you with." He murmured, "Your self-confidence is all but non-existent. That needs to change."

I shrugged. I didn't care so much about that. I just wanted to be a good person.

 **A/N: If this chapter seems rushed, I truly apologize. It wasn't my intention to release it like this.  
I know I said this would be out sooner, but my life's been really hectic around here for awhile. Very long story short, I've got myself a brand new stalker (totally serious about that), my mom's been sick, but in positive land, I recently found out that (if all goes right) there's gonna be a brand new baby KNeu in my future. Specifically, around next summer.  
So I promise I haven't forgotten about you guys! I could never forget about all my beautiful, wonderful, amazing, chocolate-and-rainbow-sprinkles-covered readers! **  
**From here, I sense this story taking more of a direction we recognize. To a point, of course. I hope I can update everything a lot sooner than I have been. I've been so horrible at updating.**  
 **THANK YOU! To all my AMAZING reviewers! THANK YOU! I know I owe you guys more than taking forever to update! Shame on me. :'(**  
 **Anyhoo.. Let's see if I can get chapter five out sometime this month lol that's my goal.**  
 **Until five, my wonderful readers!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I took the day. And the next day. Hesitating in breaking the news to Heather.

I wasn't changing my mind. Far from it, but I just couldn't face disappointing Heather so soon after everything that happened. Mainly because I knew I owed her more than just doing it over the phone. Just like I had to do with Esme and Carlisle when this all started, I owed Heather a face-to-face discussion. I was owning up to my actions.

But it being the day before the wedding now, I had to do it now. I couldn't put it off any more. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't.

Thankfully, I would have help. They promised to let me speak with her myself, but Carlisle and Esme would both be there to sort of pave the way for me. It wasn't completely on me.

Heather, I was sure, had a feeling that something was up when Carlisle did call to give her a heads up about our visit. I couldn't hear her responses, but I could just tell that she knew there was something we needed to address.

Slowly, I followed Carlisle and Esme into Heather's house. I was grateful that Mike was at work, so I didn't have to see him just yet. The boys were upstairs, so I didn't have to see them either. The front door closed behind us, making me jump a little. I was nervous, but only because I really hated having to do this.

"Leandra." Heather greeted me warmly, seemingly not at all upset at me over the events of the other day, "How are you feeling, sweetie?" I simply shrugged, not really wanting to admit that I still held a deep grudge toward more than half of her family. I could still feel the anger I felt that day, and I could still hear the arguing. I didn't want to be the one that made them fight.

Heather's gaze turned sadly concerned as she smoothed my hair down my back lightly.

Esme smoothed my hair next, easing my nervousness a little.

"I take it you'd like a word first?" Heather asked her, and with that, she'd confirmed my suspicion. She knew there was something up.

With a small nod to Heather, Esme looked to me, "Wait here?" I nodded as well, letting Heather walk away first, leading them toward the kitchen, followed by Carlisle and Esme walking away last. I hung back, choosing to spend my time trying not to listen into what might be being said in the kitchen.

I waited there, turning only a little to look over the photos in frames on the wall and on the hall table. Each photo told me that I was making the right choice. This family was such a close knit one, and trying to add me into it would stretch those ties too much for my comfort.

I wanted them to stick together, not be torn apart while trying to make room for me in their lives. There weren't many people out there that could handle someone like me, and I really should have warned them about that from the start, but I felt the need to hide that, and though I was sorry about hiding it, it gave me a way to go back home.

I jumped a little at the loud knock at the door, turning sharply. Though I didn't technically live here anymore, I still felt like I could answer the door. At least to let someone know that there was someone here for them.

Not wanting their discussion interrupted, I turned toward the door. Grabbing the knob, but before I could turn it, the door opened. I yelped, bouncing back in an attempt to not get hit by the door swinging open so quickly. I blinked in surprise.

"Heather." It was an older woman, calling for Heather and just walking into the house. What kind of person just walks into someone else's house? I stared at her, trying hard to change the instant dislike I got from this woman.

I jumped a little as the woman's eyes landed on me. I shrunk a little with just the force of her gaze, trembling lightly as she looked me over in what actually looked like disgust.

"Well?" She barked, making me jump, "Don't you be rude, girl. Aren't you going to invite me to sit? Are you stupid or something?"

"Don't you talk to her like that." Thankfully, Heather arrived from the kitchen. Carlisle and Esme close behind. Saving me from this terrifying woman. I scooted forward, making it to Esme's side just behind Heather. Heather obviously knew this woman, and very obviously didn't like her much.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded of the woman, "Who in the hell invited you?"

"Heather, darling.." The woman spoke up, "Look around you. What kind of grandmother would I be if I allowed my grandsons to live in less than adequate conditions?"

My expression dropped in shock. This was Heather and Jack's mother. Susan. I'd learned of her existence last year, when I spotted the single old photo Heather had of her. It surprised me to see her here of all places. What the hell was she doing here?

"They are the only grandchildren I have, after all." She continued, "Well.." She sniffed, eyeing me again, "Biological, anyway."

That sounded very much like a very insulting afterthought. Somehow, without even trying, she was making me feel horrible for not being born into Jack's family. A few chosen words mixed with just the right tinge of emotion, she turned my whole emotional situation upside down.

I didn't know what to say, but Esme's presence beside me comforted me. Her hand soothingly found my shoulder as Carlisle stepped closer to my other side. How'd she even know who I was?

"I-I.." I muttered, but my voice died in my throat.

"My boys are just fine, thank you." Heather countered, "And don't you dare start in on Leandra."

"Leandra?" Susan asked, seeming surprised, "Who would give much a strong, meaningful name to someone like her?"

"Leave her out of this, mother." Heather growled before Esme could speak up like she wanted to, "I accept the money you send every year, because I don't want you here. What part of 'stay the hell out of my life' didn't you understand eleven years ago? When Zack was born, I told you I didn't want you in our lives, and I meant that."

I could hear the eye roll in her tone as Susan spoke again, "Heather, my God. Can you be any more dramatic?"

I looked over as I heard the obvious sound of the boys descending the stairs. I didn't like this woman, but would they? Would they even know who she was?

"Ah." Susan spoke up again, "There they are." She finally sounded happy about something.

"Hi, grandma." Josh reached the bottom step first, Zack smiling half a step behind him.

Oddly enough, I wanted to cry. Being so confused made it difficult to figure out which way I was supposed to feel, and I didn't appreciate that. Heather, no doubt feeling me shake with silent sobs as I stood mostly behind her, turned and kneeled in front of me.

"Leandra," She spoke quietly to me, "Go on upstairs, okay? I'll handle this, and I'll let you know when it's safe to come down." I nodded a little, grateful for my chance to get away from this horrible woman. Esme agreed, releasing my shoulder and watching as I stepped around Heather. Headed for the stairs, but I yelped as my shirt was caught lightly. Not roughly, but enough to stop me. Pinched between two fingers in an attempt to keep me from moving, and it worked. Pinched between two fingers like I wasn't worth the contact that took. Just a speck of dust, a dirty thing that needed to be handled.

"Excuse me." Esme seemed outraged, but Susan ignored her as Esme stepped forward a few steps.

"You," Susan spoke to me, and I looked up at her, "Take this, and put this somewhere safe." She shoved her handbag at me, lightly hitting me in the chest with it. I jumped, instinctively holding it, "Be careful with it, would you? It's worth more than your life, I'm sure. Just put it in there," She gestured with a wave of her hand toward the living room, "And for Christ's sake, don't.. Touch it a lot. I don't want your greasy little smudges on it."

"Don't listen to her, Leandra." Heather was obviously upset. One glance over at them told me Heather was about to do something stupid, so Carlisle was talking to her.

"Why can't you do it?" I mumbled, looking back up at Susan, but she gave me a look that withered whatever resistance I might have had. Instantly.

"Can you be any more rude?" She sniffed, "I mean, honestly. Is that any way to speak to me?"

What was wrong with me? I wanted to tell this bitch that I didn't even know her, but my voice refused to work. Anyone else, I would have dropped the stupid purse on the floor, and stepped on it on my way by, but instead, I just nodded and looked toward Heather. One glance told me Heather would snap at any second. I didn't want that, so my mind quickly told me to just do as I was told. I'd never seen her that angry, and I stupidly thought that if I just went along with it, Heather would feel better about it.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, and Susan seemed to accept that. Grudgingly, of course, but she did nonetheless.

"Good." She said, "That's better. Now.. Shoo." She waved her hand at me this time, and though I flinched, I turned, walking off toward the living room. I found the table against the wall, having space enough to set this thing down, so I dropped it there. Listening to Susan talk lightly to Zack now, greeting him happily.

I didn't want to go back out there, so I hesitated, waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen. I sniffled, trying to keep it together.

It didn't even have anything to do with what I'd learned about her before, but I didn't like that woman. She scared me, intimidated me without even trying. She made me feel horrible. I didn't even know why I felt horrible, but it was clearly there. Surely there was something I needed to hate myself for?

I never understood before what it meant for someone to look down at me, even with Jack, but now I definitely did. On top of feeling horrible for no reason, it made me feel bitter.

I looked over at Heather and Esme's arrival. Heather quickly made her way to me, and kneeled down again in front of me, her gaze apologetic as Esme kneeled beside her, taking my hand gently.

"I'm so sorry, honey." Heather reached up, clearing the few escaped tears off my cheeks, "I didn't know she was coming. I never thought, in a million years, that she'd show up here. I know it feels like there's no other choice than to do what she says, but you don't have to."

"Why doesn't she like me?" I had to ask, "What'd I do to her?"

"That's just the way she is." Heather replied quietly, "That's the way she's always been. Remember when I told you what she was like?" I nodded a little, "I might have left out a few details." Well, it was horrible. I didn't like this one bit.

"Go on outside, sweetie." Esme murmured to me, handing me the keys to Carlisle's car, "Stay in the car until we get this sorted." Finally, another direction. Something I could do to avoid that horrible person. Maybe this time I could get by her.

Before I could even turn, though, Susan was stepping through the living room doorway. Looking around the room, disgust in her eyes again. I took a breath, hiding the keys behind me as if I worried about her seeing them. Esme stood up beside me, gently hugging me into her side again. I could feel her tension, though. That only made me more tense.

I gave a glance around as well. What was so wrong with this house? It was clean, and in good shape. The way she looked at it made me think she thought of it as trash. Complete garbage. Like a cardboard box in a dark, rainy alley.

"Heather, honestly." Susan sighed, "This is where you've chosen to raise my grandsons? Were you this determined to keep me out of their life?"

"I called her." Josh fessed up from where he and Zack had followed her into the room, and both Heather and I looked to him. Carlisle stepped into the room last, giving Susan only a glance as he made his way to us.

"Why would you do that?" Heather asked Josh, obviously surprised.

"Well," He muttered, "You said that moving to a bigger house was out of the budget, but we _need_ a bigger house with Leandra living here now. This is how it can fit in the budget."

Susan's look at me alone was just as withering as it had been when she first arrived. That had to be why she didn't like me. She thought that me being here was somehow taking away from everything that the boys had. I could see why now, with Josh's confession.

"Josh," Heather spoke, "I told you that we were working on it."

"But-"

"Go outside." Heather told him firmly, "All of you. Now."

"No," Susan murmured thoughtfully, "I think I'd prefer them to stay. Except that." She looked pointedly at me, "That can go."

I looked down, feeling even worse. When had I become a 'that' again? What was worse, was that I actually felt like a 'that' again. I moved to step away, but Heather's hand stopped me. Her arm coming out and blocking my advance as Esme's hand tightened slightly on my shoulder.

"She's welcome here any time." Heather told her.

"Why?" Susan sneered, "I wasn't aware that you ran an orphanage. Jack obviously didn't want her, and I can see why."

"I hardly think that's necessary." Esme spoke at the same time as Heather.

"That's enough of that." Heather barked.

"Have you heard from him?" I asked quietly, unable to help it. Both Susan and Heather looked to me, "Jack?"

"Just last week." Susan replied confidently, which shocked me, "His phone call was exactly why I expected Josh's call, actually. He's always looking out for his nephews, you know. I can now understand his concern. He-"

"What did he say?" I had to admit, I was a little too demanding in my tone, "Like.. What exactly did he say?"

"It wasn't a terribly long conversation, I will say." She sniffed, "He mainly contacted me in an attempt to warn me about you."

"Me?" I muttered, surprised.

"Yes, _you_." She snapped quietly.

"What about me?" I asked, confused now. What would Jack need to warn her about? Oh. Then it hit me. I knew what she was going to say the second before she said it.

"Nothing but a pale, sickly looking thing with no real worth to you at all except when it came to taking things that didn't belong to you."

Not knowing I was already intending to leave, he'd contacted her in hopes of her coming by to do his dirty work, and to get me away from his family. However, I still felt the need to defend myself.

"I've never stolen anything." I muttered shakily.

"Nothing but a lying, spoiled, entitled little thing." She turned her nose up again, "Trying to weasel your way in where you're not wanted. Who better to warn me than my son, who raised you?"

"He didn't raise me." I found a shred of confidence. Outraged at my obvious lack of respect for her or her son, she gave me another look.

"Leandra," Heather spoke, "Go on outside, okay? I'll be out to talk to you in a minute." She closed my hand around the set of keys behind my back, and I remembered. I had a way out, but Heather didn't. I looked up at her, hesitant. I didn't exactly want to leave her alone with this woman.

"No backbone, whatsoever." Susan continued, mostly to herself as she looked around herself in the living room, "And Heather, this house is hardly fit to be standing."

"There's nothing wrong with it." I told her, still running with my shred of confidence, "I like it."

"You would." Susan countered, "You'd be happy anywhere that wasn't yours, wouldn't you? You pathetic little leech." That shut me right up. Ouch.

"That's enough!" Heather had finally heard enough, "I didn't ask you to come here and-"

"But your son did." Susan was having none of it, "Sit down, Heather, and shut up." My jaw dropped, along with Josh's and Zack's. I'd never heard anyone talk to her like that. Susan continued, "I wouldn't have had to come here at all if you'd tried harder to provide for your sons. Where is this husband of yours? Mitch, is it?"

"Mike." I corrected quietly.

"Whatever." She muttered, "He's obviously responsible for this wretched, vile little life you've given my grandsons, so I'd like to speak to him."

"Leandra," Heather murmured, taking my attention, "Go." I nodded this time, "Zack, Josh. You guys too." They nodded this time as well. Already dissolving into tears as I scurried from the room, Josh and Zack following me. I cringed as Susan eyed me on my way by.

I didn't exactly like leaving Esme and Carlisle behind either, but I needed to get away from Susan. I couldn't take spending any more time around her. Whatever bravery I might have been feeling when we first came here was nonexistent now. Nowhere to be found.

I fought with the front door, nearly running into it as I slipped outside before it was open far enough, fighting with my tears at the same time. I took a deep breath once I was outside. Susan's arrival seemed to make the entire house difficult to breathe in. I stumbled, nearly falling down the front porch steps and I landed in the yard.

Looking over, Josh and Zack both filed outside after me. Josh shut the door behind him while I paced over the grass.

It took minutes, if that, before I wasn't alone anymore. Alice arrived, Jasper and to my surprise, Mikah in tow. Alice made it to me first, Mikah hanging back, probably for his own safety. He might have been practicing, and his eyes were just passing for a red-tinted gold, but he didn't have the best control in the world, so I really wondered why they allowed him to come along at all.

"Hey." Zack frowned a little, eyeing Mikah across the yard, "Don't we-"

"No." I muttered from Alice's arms around me, and though he still seemed confused, he shut up.

"What's going on, Leandra?" Jasper asked from beside Alice.

" _He_ ," I gave Josh a dirty glance, "Called Heather's mom to come." Given the glance he gave to Alice, they understood. I decided to continue venting, "She's a really shitty person. I don't like her."

"She's actually right." Zack offered quietly.

"But I didn't know she would treat Leandra like that." Josh spoke up as well, "Really, I didn't."

"How'd she treat you?" Alice asked.

"Like trash." Even Zack had seen it.

"She said Jack called her." I mumbled, gaining another surprised glance, "Before Josh even did." They also knew what this meant.

"Maybe she knows where he is." Zack suggested like that was a good thing. Our attention was taken, though, by Carlisle stepping outside, closing the door again behind him.

I grew nervous at that point. It was only Esme in there now, and with Heather so ready to seriously injure her mother, I worried.

I glanced up at Carlisle as he made it to my other side, trembling lightly. He knew exactly how I was obviously feeling, given the way he lightly and briefly stroked my hair down my back.

"I wish Esme wouldn't have stayed in there." I mumbled, "I'd heard about her, but I never thought she was this bad. She shouldn't be allowed to treat people that way."

"Esme will be alright." Carlisle assured me, and though I didn't quite believe him, I nodded. I was beyond glad, though, that Alice showed up. I felt a whole lot better with them here as well.

"I'm sorry." Josh spoke up, "I didn't know she'd be like that."

"You shut up." I snapped at him, "You don't even know what you did."

To my surprise, he did shut up. Sitting down on the top step of the porch, Zack crossing his arms beside him.

"What are _you_ even doing here?" Zack demanded of me, probably not appreciating the way I spoke to his brother, "I thought you were supposed to be gone for a week?"

"I am." I countered, "Probably for longer, so you shut up too."

"Good." He grumbled bitterly.

"Good." I repeated, looking away. I hated fighting with them, but I would when it came to things like this.

"Come on, now." Alice told me, "What happened between you guys?"

"Nothing." Zack and I answered at the same time. They had no idea, obviously, about the fighting we'd done on my last day here. Neither of us were willing to talk about it. Hesitantly, I moved away from Alice. I wasn't exactly sure what to do with myself now that I'd had help calming down.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed out there, but it had to have been just about half an hour before the front door finally opened again. Susan stepped outside, obviously ruffled and angry. I jumped, moving further away, getting out of the way as quickly as I could. I made it to Carlisle's side this time in probably record time, watching Susan turn from beside us.

"You just think about what I said, Heather." Susan snapped at her in the doorway, "I'll be back tonight to speak with that worthless husband of yours. This is ending now." She turned sharply to look down at me, and I couldn't help cowering back slightly, "And you, you little rat. Nobody asked you to be here. Think about what you're doing."

Her gaze made me hide my own against Carlisle's side. I couldn't help it. She honestly scared me. It was such an unsettling feeling. I'd never had to feel this way about a woman before. Honestly fearful. That was probably what confused me so much about her.

Before Carlisle could say anything, and before I could even think about a response, spoke again.

"And as far as my son's concerned," She growled, "You'd better be glad I have more tolerance for people like you."

"Speak to her one more time," Esme spoke from the doorway, "And you and I are going to have a problem." I blinked in surprise, but I guess I sort of saw this coming. Susan turned her glare onto her, so she continued, "I will not stand for anyone verbally attacking my daughter."

"Especially people like _you_." I added, which only got me another of Susan's glares. This time, I stood there and returned it. With as supported as I was, I wasn't letting her intimidate me anymore.

Without another word, Susan turned sharply. I did jump at the sudden movement, but other than that, I only watched after her as she walked away. It seemed to bother Mikah to let her walk around him toward her car, but he did.

"My," Esme sighed from beside Heather, "What a horribly bitter woman."

"I would be too if I had to put up with Ken for however long she did." I muttered quietly without thinking, watching after Susan.

"My father had nothing to do with how she is now." Heather admitted, and I turned a little, looking to her now, "She's just always been that way." She suddenly looked tired. Like just seeing her mother again drained every ounce of energy she had. I knew how that was, but the major difference was, my mother wasn't anything like her mother.

Interestingly enough, less than a minute after Susan left, Mike arrived home. I turned, along with Carlisle as his SUV pulled into the driveway. Everyone else looked his way as well, and I could tell before he was even out of the vehicle that he was mad.

And he was. He was angry, stepping out of his car and slamming the door behind himself. I jumped again at the sharp sound.

"Where is he?" Mike demanded, and I quickly gathered that it wasn't me he was mad at anymore. It was Josh. I glanced toward the spot I'd last seen him, spotting him sitting there nervously. Jasper and Alice were in the way, though, so Mike hadn't seen him yet.

Why the hell wasn't he running? That was a tone worth running from.

"Josh didn't know what he was doing." Heather immediately said, "Don't blame him."

"He knew full well there was a reason we told him no." He replied sharply, "Going behind our backs like that? And I'm not supposed to blame him?"

"I haven't been able to talk to him yet," Heather countered, "But I know he's got his reasons for doing so. Just let me talk to him."

"Leandra," Mikah called for me, and I looked his way, "Come on over here for a second." As much as I wanted to, I couldn't just walk away, so I spoke up.

"It wasn't his fault."

Mike looked to me, and his gaze alone was enough to shut me up.

"Um.." I muttered instead, looking down. It wasn't me he was angry at, and I knew that, but I also didn't want that to change. Before Mike could say anything more, though, Josh stood up. making his appearance.

Mike turned his gaze onto Josh. Carlisle beside me seemed concerned as he felt me tense, while Esme looked the same from where she stood beside Heather on the porch.

"Go inside, Josh." Mike told him, despite what he'd just been saying, "I'm not ready to deal with you yet."

"I didn't call her to go behind your back." He explained, and Heather stepped forward, "I just thought-"

"Go!" I flinched myself at Mike's shout, unable to help it. Zack turned, ascending the steps up onto the porch. I took a step or two back behind Carlisle, just a few steps further away from Mike. Josh had yet to move, though.

"But dad, I-I-"

"Go." He wasn't listening, but Mike's quieter tone was telling me Josh really needed to do as he was told. He was more pissed than I'd ever seen him, and I knew he was telling him to go for his own good.

"No." Heather spoke up, descending the steps to stand with Josh, "Mike, it wasn't his fault. I won't let you bully him because your pride is hurt."

That threw Mike off, for sure, but the rest of us were even more thrown off. She and Mike never disagreed directly in front of us. Not ever. Even the last argument had been downstairs, mostly out of our hearing range.

It was silent for a moment, and I jumped at hands lightly taking my shoulders from behind. Looking back sharply, it was Mikah. I allowed him to pull me away, gently leading me back toward the car at the curb. Alice and Jasper both moved away as well, but that was probably to let them handle this on their own.

Mike spoke again, "That's not-"

"That's exactly what this is about." Heather countered, "I agree, he shouldn't have done it, but the least you could do as his father is hear him out."

With a deep breath in, and a growling breath out, I knew Mike's patience had been thinned quite a bit, but he gestured to Josh before crossing his arms.

"Well?" Mike prompted.

"He just wanted to help." I offered from beside Mikah.

"Leandra," Mike replied firmly, his tone carefully controlled as he turned to look at me, "Stay out of this. Please." I instantly shut my mouth. I didn't want him mad at me too, so I bit my lip.

"She's right." Josh finally found his voice, "I just wanted to help. You said you didn't have enough money to move to a bigger house, and I thought grandma could help. She said she would. That's a good thing, isn't it?"

Mike growled again, "Josh-"

"She said she would." Josh repeated, "She said she could move us into a house with enough rooms for all of us to have our own. And with two bathrooms."

"That's not the point." Mike snapped, shutting him up, "The point is, I told you what I told you and you _don't_ get to question that. You _don't_ get to call around until you get your way. That isn't how this works. When I tell you something, I _mean_ it!" All three of us flinched this time, and Zack on the porch looked down, "I don't care if Susan has enough money to dump us in a mansion with a thousand damn bathrooms. I'm not taking a cent from her, and you have no say in that. Am I clear?"

"Yes." Josh muttered, looking down. It wasn't often Mike was mad enough to cuss at us, so I knew Josh was on very, very thin ice.

"Good." He barked at him, before looking to Heather, "Are you happy now? Good." The fact that he didn't even wait for her to reply told me he was far more pissed than I thought before. Despite not being able to see her facial expression, the fact that she crossed her arms told me that shit wasn't going to fly.

"Leandra?" I looked over at Alice beside me. She gestured to the car, and this time, I listened. I pulled open the door and climbed in without complaint. The door was left open a little too long, leaving enough time for Mikah to climb into the back seat with me. I scooted over to make room for him, but I listened at the same time.

"Things are tight." Mike went on at Josh, "You can blame your mother for that, but don't you ever try going behind my back again."

Mikah closed the door, but I felt even more horrible. It seemed like I wasn't the only one that blamed me for making their lives harder. Mike did also. I gathered that much.

With a very, very brief discussion with Heather, Esme and Carlisle headed back this way. It didn't really surprise me that we were leaving. I didn't get to have my discussion with Heather, but that hardly mattered to me right then.

Esme climbed into the car first while Carlisle rounded it. Before he even got inside, I spoke.

"I didn't mean to make them fight." I admitted quietly, and Esme's expression was soft as she looked back at me.

"It's not your fault, Leandra." She assured me, "It's not."

"It feels like it is." I mumbled, looking back down.

"But it isn't." Mikah insisted, "You didn't make them fight." I just shrugged. He knew my stance on it.

I was silent the entire way home. Why did it seem so much like all I ever did was ruin people's lives?

There was my mom and dad. Jack, as weird as it was to count him in that category. Ken lost his life, then there was the Cullens, my family, as their whole world had been changed when I showed up.

Now there was Mike and Heather, at odds because I had been around. Fighting with each other when they never used to fight before. I'd made their lives harder, making things tighter for them. Making it hard for them to take care of their own two kids.

I climbed out of the car in the garage, barely holding back my emotion and disguising it as a sniffle, as I let Esme take my hand and lead me inside.

I comforted myself with the thought that though I had made their lives harder, I'd made the decision to leave there on my own. That now that I was here, things would get easier for them. I had no choice but to try to comfort myself. It was too hard to think about everything otherwise.

"Emmett." I jumped a little at Alice's call as she stepped into the house behind me, scooting passed me easily. She seemed concerned.

I jumped again as he suddenly showed up beside me, "You called?"

"We need to finish setting up the backyard." She sighed heavily, "You're officially on big-stuff duty."

"What about me?" I mumbled.

"You have the most important job of all." She replied, "You can stay out of trouble, and stay where we can keep an eye on you."

"Can I get into trouble if you can see me do it?" I was being sarcastic, which she didn't really appreciate, "What? I'm bargaining." Emmett, however, did chuckle.

Rolling her eyes lightly, she turned, "Edward. Get down here."

With a light pat to my shoulder, Carlisle stepped passed me as well.

"Are you going to be okay?" Esme asked me, and I sighed, but nodded. I'd be fine. I was just feeling a little down. I knew she needed to help set things up as well, so I wouldn't make her stay here with me. She gave my hair a gentle smooth, and turned.

My attention was taken by Edward's arrival in the kitchen. I had to admit, I was getting pretty used to having Edward around.

"I see." Edward spoke before anyone even said anything to him, "Don't worry about her." Who? Me?

"Thank you." Alice sighed, grabbing Emmett's sleeve and tugging him toward the backyard. With a comforting smile my direction, Mikah followed them. Jasper followed Mikah, and it was suddenly just Edward and I standing there. A silent moment or two passed, before I sighed and looked to him.

"You're on babysitting duty." I observed quietly, and he smirked, "Why aren't you out there helping too?"

"I hear you've had an eventful day." He murmured, and I looked down. Clearly noting his change of subject, but choosing not to comment on it.

"It's _so_ easy for people to hate me."

"You're thinking about Susan." He was only letting me know he knew.

"She only hates me because of Jack." I grumbled, moving toward the window, "She doesn't even know me. She just knows what Jack told her."

"Hold on." He spoke up, "What?"

"Nobody thought that part at you yet?" I turned a little, looking up at him, "She was only there because Jack called her. He told her I was making their lives hard." I sighed, kneeling on the padded ledge beneath the window. I shrugged a little, "Maybe I was, but I sure didn't need Susan to tell me that."

"You're saying that Jack contacted her?"

"He probably wanted me to get away from his family." I replied, "I dunno how he found out, but since he couldn't come over and chase me away from them himself, he sent his stupid mom."

"Leandra," He murmured, "You're far too calm about this."

"It just doesn't surprise me." I explained quietly, "I knew Jack wasn't completely gone. Plus.. I think Jack's right."

"Pardon me?"

"Just about them." I assured him. My thoughts probably hadn't given that part away, so I decided to explain before he could get upset. I recalled the memory of the arguing and fighting, before I spoke, "I do make their lives harder."

"Leandra, those arguments were not your fault." I ignored that.

"Then there was the camping trip." I shrugged, recalling that for him. All the things Mike talked to Heather about, "I guess not a lot of people know what to do with me." I sighed, "It's better if I stay here. I missed it here anyway. I chose this before Susan even showed up."

One glance told me that the way I was talking was concerning him a little. Not deeply, but a sad sort of concern. He probably didn't know what to say, because he knew I was right.

"It's okay, though." I sighed, turning and sitting on the ledge. Looking up at him with a small smile, "It's okay."

"Leandra, that smile didn't work when I first met you, and it doesn't work now." He slowly sat beside me.

"It's not for you this time." I replied quietly. It was for me.

"I understand." He nodded a little, "Believe me, more than you know. I just want to be sure you're okay. You've been through a lot lately."

"Yeah," I muttered, "Like the last eleven years." It was silent for a moment before I spoke again, "What if I'm just not made for a normal life? I mean, I love it here. I know I belong here now, but.."

"It still bothers you." He finished my thought.

"What if Jack was right all those times?" I looked over, "What if he really did know what he was talking about? I don't mean to be the way I am, but I can't really change it, either. I don't know how."

"First of all," He replied evenly, "There is nothing wrong with you."

"There has to be." I argued, "I ruin everyone's life. I ruin everything I touch."

"No you don't." He countered, "It only seems that way. Mike.. He has no experience working with anyone like you, with your sort of past. That's not your fault. It's not his fault. It's no one's fault, Leandra."

"If I was normal, he wouldn't have to have experience."

"Someone who's been through the things you've been through-"

"Just stop." I growled, "I _know_ all that already, but you have to stop blaming the way I am on what happened back then. Sure, it's a reason, but that's _not_ all I am. I can't just hide behind that for the rest of my life."

"I understand your frustration, Leandra." He assured me, "So many things don't make sense to you right now. You're confused, and you're trying _so_ hard to figure it out."

"Everything just keeps going." I mumbled, "Even while I was there, it just kept going, but it was harder there because nobody knew. I know I have to start school next month, but I never let myself think about that."

"Why not?"

"I have too much to think about already." I replied, "I know there's more I have to remember, about that vision, but with everything I already remembered, I'm scared to. I can't think of anything that could be worse than what I already saw, but I just know it's worse."

"Leandra," He sighed, "You're still struggling." Hesitantly, I nodded, "But that's okay. You're taking what you saw as the truth, and you'll need to see for yourself how things have changed first hand, because you can't control your gift enough to see beyond right now yet. I can't blame you for being afraid. Terrified. Not one person, alive or otherwise, can."

"That's the thing, though." I looked over again, "What if I can't see it's changed because nothing has changed?" His gaze grew concerned again, "I've tried to look for the change you keep saying is there, but I don't see it."

"Alice says-"

"She can't see the things I can see." I argued lightly, "She said so herself, remember? Something's gonna happen. I know it, and it's gonna be big."

"You're worrying over nothing." He tried so hard to assure me, "You're letting your anxiety get the better of you."

"Maybe.." I muttered, but I knew full well he heard the doubt in my tone and in my thoughts.

Our conversation came to an end at the sound of the doorbell. He sighed, standing up.

"That'd be Bella." He told me, and I nodded. I understood if he wouldn't want to discuss these things while she was here.

"You stay." I jumped at Alice's bark as she came inside, but her eyes were on Edward, "I've got it."

I laughed a little along with him, but I stood up anyway. Usually, it was Edward that ended the conversation by disappearing, but now it was my turn. I wanted to go outside and take a breath. Maybe that would help me. He didn't seem to mind that, so I allowed myself to wander.

"Princess." Mikah spotted me first, pausing to smile at me, "Come to help?"

"I definitely can't do that." I pointed to one of the benches he held in one hand.

"Come tell me where to set this thing." He gestured me forward, and I smiled a little. Descending the porch steps.

And just like that, he'd cheered me up. I led the way forward, toward where all the other benches had been placed in the yard. Stepping along the packed dirt carefully, taking my time.

"Here." I said, pointing to the empty space between two already placed benches. They'd actually been really busy in the time it took for me to have that conversation with Edward.

"Good." He nodded, "Now go over there and tell me if it's straight." I knew full well he'd know if it was straight or not, but he wanted to involve me. I jogged forward, landing closest to the trees before turning to face him again. He gently plopped the bench into place, and I crouched down. Looking to the other benches for reference.

"Little that way." I told him, pointing to the right. Taking my direction, he scooted it over a bit, "Perfect."

"Next." He grinned and I stood back up. Running forward again. He patted my head lightly on my way by with a quiet chuckle. I followed the path toward the other side of the house, passing Jasper and Carlisle on the way, "racing" to beat Mikah to the other benches.

That continued until there were no benches left, and I moved on to helping Esme hang the flowers. It worked for everyone, since I was always in someone's view, and didn't need my babysitter anymore. For whatever reason I'd needed a babysitter for.

I stood on the ladder that Emmett held above his head, but getting up there was pretty interesting. Considering I hated heights. Esme didn't want me climbing the trees myself, but I wouldn't mention how this wasn't much safer.

It started with me sitting on Emmett's shoulder, standing up and climbing up until I could reach the branches. Of course, Mikah was standing by just in case I fell, but with as steady as Emmett was holding the ladder, I was confident enough to use both hands. Emmett wasn't about to risk me like that.

I only hung a few flower strings, though, before I had to get down. Thankfully, Mikah was there to help me get down when I was too afraid to make the journey from the ladder back onto Emmett's shoulder. Before I could freeze up too much, Emmett jerked a little. Shaking me loose, making me let go and jump straight into Mikah's hands. It wasn't nearly as scary as it would have been if I'd had a chance to freak out over it.

Next, I was given a ground-dwelling job, and that was to hang bits of flowers on the benches. Most of that had already been done, though, so I only had a few to do. Jasper moved on to helping Esme hang the flower strings, so I could stay busy with this.

I had trouble a few times, but I was getting the hang of it. Mikah, of course, followed me around. Probably to keep me company while keeping an eye on me at the same time.

"Oh," Alice had arrived, taking a look at my handy work, "I like how you did this." She inspected the flowers I'd done, then looked around at all the other flowers. She pointed to Mikah, "You. Fix them all to look like this."

He chuckled.

"Sure thing, boss." Mikah replied, and walked off.

"Sorry." I told him on his way by.

"Your way is clearly better." He chuckled again, "Not to worry, princess."

Alice made her way to my side, walking along beside me as I positioned the flowers just right. It was quiet for a moment or two while I focused, but I didn't mind her presence beside me. It was nice not being alone.

"How are you doing?" Alice asked after a moment, and I glanced up at her, before looking back down at my armful of flowers.

"I'm trying not to think about it." I admitted, "It really helps." She nodded, falling quiet again. Once I was done with my current spot, I paused. Looking over at her again with a sigh.

"I'm still nervous." I mumbled, "About tomorrow. I know tomorrow will go okay, but tomorrow is when everything starts."

"You have no reason to worry." She assured me for the millionth time.

"You keep saying that." I sighed, leaning back against a bald bench, "But what if-"

"No reason." She insisted.

"I think I do."

"Expecting the worst isn't going to help you, Leandra." She replied, "It's the fastest way to a break-down."

"What's a break-down?"

"Something you don't want." She replied, "Those lead to impulse decisions. Like running away." That part, I understood. She went on, "Just relax. I promise we've got everything covered. Trust me, okay?" Sooner or later, I'd just have to take her word for it.

"Okay." I mumbled, and I knew she heard the doubt in my tone, but it was enough for her that I just agreed.

"Done." We both looked over as Mikah returned, and Alice seemed a little skeptical. Giving him a look as she walked off to inspect his work.

"I'd run before she comes back." I told him, and he chuckled.

"Running won't save him." Emmett muttered on his way by, three buckets full of flowers in his arms. I couldn't help laughing at that, watching Emmett walk by. I followed him for a minute, deciding to help by stealing a bucket from him. He allowed that, releasing it willingly.

I had to admit that helping like this was helping me. It was giving me the quality time with my family that I'd been missing so much, and I got to be a part of all the decorating for once. I could watch all the decorations going into place, and see first hand how the backyard was being changed.

After awhile, however, I was starting to get really hungry, but thankfully, Esme was already two steps ahead of me. She called me in to eat just as I was about to head inside to look for food anyway.

I fell asleep early that night. After the very busy day I'd had, I was wiped out.

For the first time in a long time, I felt myself actually grateful for the chance to sleep in a safe place. That struck me as odd, because I hadn't had that feeling since I'd practically first moved in here. Nothing I could think of had prompted this feeling, but I also didn't want to question it, for fear of finding the answer.

I knew my family was here, and would keep anything from happening to me while I slept. I appreciated that. Deeply.

I woke early the next morning, and despite going to bed early the night before, I was still exhausted.

I hated the dress Alice needed me to wear, but I also knew she knew exactly what bothered me most about dresses. I didn't mind so much looking like a girl. It wasn't that that bothered me, but there was no need to be bothered. She'd solved this issue the same way she'd solved it for the graduation party, so it wasn't as bad as it would have been. I had to admit.

This dress went to just passed my knees anyway, so it was pretty long.

I allowed Esme to do my hair, and remembering exactly how my hair had been done last time, I told her how to do it. Why I would want everything about me to be the same as it was last time, I had no idea, but I did like the way my hair turned out last time, so I wanted it again this time.

I made my way outside with Esme, a little grumpy at all the people already here. I was certain it'd only get more crowded as the morning progressed to afternoon.

Alice and Rosalie were upstairs, busy with getting Bella ready, so I couldn't hope to find them before right before everything was ready to start.

I couldn't deny though that none of this was new to me. It was unsettling, the way the view around me echoed in my mind with what was being uncovered of the vision I'd blocked.

I held tight to Esme's hand as we walked around, feeling a little overwhelmed by how many people were here so suddenly. I felt like I had a permanent blush on my cheeks as I looked around.

Lots of people were there that I recognized as friends of Bella and Edwards, but a lot of people I didn't recognize. Probably friends of friends, or coworkers of Carlisle's. I found myself staring up into the trees, amazed by the thousands upon thousands of tiny white flowers hanging from them. Despite being a part of the decorating process, they'd done so much more while I'd slept.

The sound of the river nearby seemed to only complete the setting. Looking around the backyard was absolutely breathtaking, and I found myself fascinated by everything. I briefly wondered how many people had the same reaction as I did.

I'd met so many people, I knew there was no way I could possibly remember all of their names. Still overwhelmed by the beauty of the yard, I hardly noticed when Esme stopped beside three women. Releasing my hand, she reached forward and hugged them one at a time.

"Oh, is this the little one?" A brief reflection of a memory forced itself forward again. Like a faint echo, and for a moment, I could only stare.

"Leandra." I looked up to Esme, "These are our cousins. Tanya, Kate, and-"

"Irina." I finished quietly, "I remember them." They did seem surprised, but Esme obviously knew what I was talking about.

All three of these women were breathtakingly beautiful. I did remember them, but I knew there was more to them than I could remember just yet. There was more.

But the confused but amused way they watched me made me feel embarrassed. I murmured a greeting shyly, stepping closer to Esme. She laughed a little, hugging me gently to her side.

"She's shy." Esme explained, and they only smiled at me.

"That's okay." Kate told me, "I am too." I smiled a little, comforted by that. She seemed fine. They all did. They were family, so I wasn't sure why I had to be uneasy.

"Esme, she's so beautiful." Kate said, smiling down at me. That was a very big compliment, coming from her.

"Thank you." I murmured.

"And polite." Irina spoke quietly, smiling at me also, "You don't see that in children much these days." If only she knew what I was capable of doing. I was sure Esme would explain everything a little later.

I looked over as Carlisle stepped up, two more behind him. A man and a woman, golden eyes much like my family's. I smiled up at them, giving the sweetest smile I could manage.

"Leandra, this is Carmen and Eleazar." Carlisle introduced the two others. These two had dark hair, instead of blonde like Tanya and her sisters. Eleazar was handsome, sharp features.

"I remember them too." I admitted, my voice quiet, but I still took Eleazar's hand without much hesitation, placing my small hand in his, and he shook it gently with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you." I mumbled, my voice quiet. I took Carmen's soon after, giving her a smile as well, "And you."

"She's precious." Carmen commented. Looking back down to me, she continued, "We've heard so much about you, Leandra." Her voice was heavily accented, which I found I liked. It interested me, not having heard many accents in my lifetime.

"Good things, I hope." I laughed a little, as did they, "Because I can be a pain." Oh, if only they knew.

"But of course." She laughed. Carlisle's hand placed itself on my shoulder, silently telling me it was okay. She looked up, looking to Carlisle again, "I think it's wonderful that you chose to take this one in. She seems very happy."

This was too weird for me. The echoing way this coincided with the memory of the vision uneased me even more. It was unsettling, and it worried me. I needed to change it. To move differently than I'd moved in the vision.

I quietly excused myself, with a murmured caution from Esme not to go far. I just needed to move away. As much as I missed how it was before, it bothered me now that it seemed so similar.

I tried hard to shake it off, but thankfully, something different did happen.

"Leandra." My attention was already being taken by someone, and to my surprise, it was Heather. I actually hadn't expected to see her here. I'd known she was invited, but after the day before, I'd seriously doubted she'd want to come.

"Hi." I greeted with a small smile, glancing to Mike beside her. Both Josh and Zack stood there as well, oddly quiet. I looked to Heather again, "I didn't think you'd come."

"I wasn't about to let yesterday ruin today." She replied, smiling easily, and for a brief moment, I really saw why I always admired her.

"And free food." Zack muttered, and I couldn't help laughing a little.

"Well," Heather sighed, looking around, "Just look at this place. It's absolutely lovely. Really. It's amazing."

"I helped." I replied quietly, a tad proud of that fact, "A little."

"I was wondering," Mike spoke up, his eyes on me, "Could we have a quick word with you?" Oddly, that made me nervous.

"Sure." I muttered instead. I wasn't worried about talking to them. After all, this was really my chance to get through the talk with them that I never got to have the day before. Just nervous that I actually had my chance to take care of this now.

I assumed Mike meant to talk in private, so I turned, leading him back toward the house. It was quieter over here, closer to the house, since everyone was meeting out in the yard.

Josh and Zack both followed, to my surprise, but that was fine by me. I figured I'd be talking mostly to Heather, so it surprised me when she and the boys stood back while Mike sighed and slowly crouched down to be more on my level.

What could he possibly have to say that wouldn't be bad?

Whatever was on his mind was bothering him. I knew that, and for a moment, I grew concerned. Nervousness making me speak before I was ready to, nearly choking the words out.

"I'm sorry." I blurted before he could speak, "Whatever it is, I'm sorry."

"No, honey." He replied, " _I'm_ sorry." I frowned a little in confusion.

"For what?" I had to ask.

He sighed, glancing to Heather as she gave him a nod. Prompting him to continue.

"After what happened yesterday.." He began quietly, "I really realized I needed to take a step back. I.. I've never.. I've never been one to act like that, and that's the first thing I need to apologize for. You were nowhere near at fault for any of that, and the way I spoke to you was unfair on many levels. I realize that now."

"It's okay." I replied honestly, "I get it." He nodded a little, accepting that. Taking another, deeper breath before continuing.

"After you left yesterday, I did take that step back." He said, "We all did. We took a moment to just calm down, and eventually, Heather and I started to talk." He paused, and I waited for his point, "We had a very long, in depth talk about a whole lot of things. Most of which involved her mother. Someone I'd never heard too much about." I nodded a little, letting him know I was following so far, "But the rest of that talk, well.. It involved her father. And it involved Jack."

I felt myself blush, and I slowly looked down. My mind froze at first, no thoughts making it through for a second or two, before that internal silence was replaced by several questions at once.

"We talked about things.." He murmured when I wouldn't look back up, "Things I needed to know, and things I never wanted to hear in a million years. About her, and about you." Oddly, I found myself wanting to cry. Not in embarrassment, which I definitely felt, but for the fact that he now knew. I didn't know how to describe this feeling. A few times I'd come close to letting slip what they were like, and I never did, but now I didn't have to worry about that.

"To know what kind of people they were, and to know they treated not only her that way, but you.." He trailed off, "I can't say I didn't suspect something was very wrong, but to know for sure now.."

More silence. I honestly didn't know what to say to him. I was confused, and a little surprised that Heather would finally end her silence about this. Of course it did make sense that something like her mother showing up could change all of that.

"The point is," Mike sighed, "I know now. I know everything, and.. I can't.. Even begin to tell you how sorry I am." That just confused me even more.

"For what?" I asked again quietly, unable to hide the emotion in my voice.

"I didn't understand before, and I know during the camping trip you overheard some things-"

"That wasn't your fault." I said, "None of that was your fault. I didn't blame you at all."

"Please." He murmured, "Accept my apology."

Normally, just telling someone that I didn't blame them was enough, but this time, it didn't seem to be. He needed me to accept it. This was new to me.

"Okay." I mumbled, hesitantly nodding, "It's okay."

Gently, he pulled me into a hug, and though I accepted it, I was pretty stunned. He'd hugged me before, but this felt different. This time, it really did feel like he didn't want to let me go. Not in a bad way, but in a protective way.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He told me, and I carefully returned his hug, "For everything. Not just.. For everything, but _every_ thing."

I got what he was trying to say. He was hurting because he found out about everything. At first, I really didn't know what to say to that. I could have told him that it was okay, but it really wasn't, and he knew that.

"I'm okay." I mumbled against his side. That seemed like the best thing I could say, "I'm okay now."

He tightened his hug briefly, before releasing me and stepping back. I tried to give him a small smile, but I doubted it was believable. Just like with Edward, though, it wasn't for him. It was for me.

This was a big thing for me. He knew now. I could only imagine how it must have felt for Heather to be completely honest with him like that. I was relieved to know, though, that at least for now, Mike and Heather were okay. I hadn't completely ruined everything.

I took a breath, and looked over at Heather. I had some things I needed to say to her, and I wasn't letting this chance slip by again.

"I didn't get to talk to you yesterday." I told her quietly.

"It's okay." She smiled a little, "I already know what you're going to say."

"You do?" I asked hesitantly.

"You want to move back in with your family." She kept her smile, but I looked down, "But I want you to know that it's alright. I understand perfectly, sweetie."

"They told you."

"They told me that there was something that you needed to discuss with me." She nodded a little, "But they wouldn't tell me what it was about. I figured it out, though, the second Carlisle called and requested a bit of my time yesterday."

"I wanted to tell you myself." I admitted, "I'm sorry. I just felt like I had to fix things on my own."

"And I admire you for that." She replied gently, "You have absolutely no reason to be sorry, honey. I guess I always knew this would be how it'd go. Your attachment to them was just too strong. Everyone needs a break from their family now and then, and that's okay, but you've had your break and you're ready to try again to make it work."

"You're not mad?" I had to ask.

"Why on Earth would I be mad?" She asked, "No, honey. I'm not mad. I'm so incredibly grateful for the time I did have with you."

She was taking this a whole lot better than I expected. Not that I expected much different, but it was a lot easier to talk to her about this than I expected it to be. It was easier for me, and the fact that I faced it without running from it made me feel better about it.

"I understand." She insisted, "It's okay, Leandra. I promise. If you ever need another break, you know you're always welcome with us." Hesitantly, I glanced up at Mike, and he gave me a nod without a hint of doubt.

"Leandra?" God what now? I turned at a familiar sounding voice. Actually caught off guard at finding my mom standing there. I blinked in surprise.

Holy _shit_.

"Gina?" Heather was obviously stunned as well, but my mom wasn't paying much attention to her.

"Mom?" I frowned. I wasn't exactly expecting her to be here. It seemed like so long ago that I'd seen her last, but it really hadn't been that long.

"Hi, baby." My mom smiled at me.

She looked nice, all dressed up like she was. Her hair had grown out a little longer, but she had it pulled back out of her eyes up on top, but it still somehow fell in gently curled waves down over her shoulders. She had color to her cheeks that I'd never seen before. She was now bruise free, and a lot healthier looking than when I'd last seen her. She looked so good.

"Wow." I couldn't help letting that slip, "Wow. Mom, you look.." I didn't even know how to finish that. I'd never seen her like this before. I was completely floored.

She had obviously taken the opportunity my family had given her and treated it as it was. This time, she actually looked like someone completely different. What a massive difference just a few months could make.

I briefly focused on the guy standing just behind her, not recognizing a thing about him except for the slightly-bigger-than-I-remembered baby in his arms. This guy's medium-length lighter brown hair was neatly combed back, and he was dressed rather nicely. I looked back at my mom.

"Wow." I said again, unable to help laughing a little.

"I know." She smiled again, "Thank you, baby."

"Gina?" I looked back, toward the back door of the house at my dad's shocked tone. When had he gotten here? Holy _crap_ this day was grating on my nerves already. Until I got a good look at his incredulous, borderline angry expression as he looked at her.

"Uh-oh." I muttered, looking between the two of them. I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. Seeing both of my biological parents in the same place at the same time was overwhelming me quickly.

"Oh boy." Heather caught on as well, knowing how big this was.

"Chris." My mom greeted in return, "Wow."

"Uh.." I spoke up again, "Everybody stay for a second, okay? Don't move."

"Okay." My mom replied, obviously confused. I turned on the spot and ran off. Further off into the yard, more toward where everyone else was. I knew exactly who I needed to find to keep everyone from losing their tempers.

I found who I was looking for and ran up to his side.

"I need you." I told him, grabbing onto Jasper's wrist, "Now. Right now." Also obviously confused, he quietly excused himself from who he was chatting with as he allowed me to drag him away.

I tugged him back toward the house, spotting the decent group still standing there. Rachel and Lily both stood off to the side, along with Mike and Heather with Zack and Josh standing in front of her, but Heather was far from pleased as well. She looked like she had some things to say herself, but was biting them back.

My dad had descended the back porch steps, and he and my mom were both actively arguing. Whoever that brown-haired guy was stood silent a few steps behind her.

"Fix it." I whispered to Jasper under my breath, and given the way he looked at the group, he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I just can't understand." My dad was saying, "Just _what_ -"

"Chris," My mom sighed, "I'm not here to argue with you. I didn't even know you were going to be here." _I_ had no idea they'd both be here.

"Imagine my surprise at seeing _you_." He countered.

"Just like old times, isn't it?" She replied, and I winced at her tone.

"This is just like you." He grumbled, "Always assuming-"

"Assuming?" She scoffed lightly, "I'm not the only one guilty of assuming, Chris, and you know it."

"Knock it off." I barked at both of them, gaining their attention as I crossed my arms defensively over my chest, "Didn't you get enough of fighting nine years ago?" I had a point, and they both knew it. Together, they both took a deep breath and glanced at each other again.

"She's right." My dad muttered before looking to me again, "You're right, kiddo. I'm sorry."

"Give each other your phone number." I suggested, "And yell at each other over the phone later if you want to, but don't fight here."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." My mom replied. I turned a little, looking back at Jasper as he gave me a slight nod. I appreciated his ability quite a bit right then.

"Okay." I huffed, looking at my mom, "Now who the fuck is that?" I gestured to the man behind her, holding Hunter.

"Oh," She laughed a little, "This is Ian. He's a friend of mine from work."

"Friend?" I questioned, skeptical.

He spoke up, "It's nice to-"

"Save it." I barked at him, "I don't like you, and I don't think that'll change much if you try to be polite."

"Just a friend, Leandra." My mom assured me, "I wanted to bring him along to help me with Hunter."

"Uh- _huh_." I sighed, still skeptical, but I let it go, "If you say so." I turned around, looking back at Jasper as I spoke again, "What the hell? Whoever was in charge of invitations is _fired_."

"Why?"

"Are you nuts?" I had to ask, "Bringing them all together like this? Right now? Of all days?"

"Look." Jasper murmured, and I turned back around.

Heather had come forward, hugging my mom tightly while my mom returned it. My dad had stepped back, watching closely, but no longer as angry as he was. The whole scene had changed drastically. Either what I had said had stuck, or Jasper was helping more than I thought before.

I continued to watch as Heather met Hunter for the first time, technically her nephew. It was so easy for her to accept him, despite the way that he looked even more like Jack than he had before. Hunter was deeply appreciating the attention, smiling brightly.

I also had to consider it from their point of view. It might have been weird for me, but to Heather, she was greeting another survivor. One more person who'd escaped Jack and made a small life for herself already. Sure, my mom needed a boost, but who wouldn't in that sort of situation?

Heather had said herself that she only blamed Jack for the way things turned out back then. My mom was twenty-three when she met Jack. Just twelve years older than I was now. Thinking about it like that only made it even harder to blame her myself. Seeing this reunion was really eye-opening for me.

"Leandra?" My dad took my attention again, finding my side, "Really. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I replied quietly, listening to the sound of my mom and Heather's quiet laughter and conversation.

"I guess there's just some things I have yet to work through."

"Me too." I admitted with a nod. I didn't want him to think he was alone in that. He hugged me into his side, his arm warm around my shoulders. I sighed heavily, glancing back at Jasper, but he wasn't there anymore. Probably confident that I didn't need his help anymore. I accepted that.

My mom finally turned toward us, Heather doing the same with Hunter on her hip. Stepping forward, my mom reached out and smoothed my hair gently. Smiling a little as I allowed her to do so. She took a breath and looked to my dad.

"I'm sorry, Chris." She told him.

"Me too." He sighed, "Let's just.. Try to get along today. For her sake."

"Deal." She replied.

That was better than nothing. They could fight all they wanted when they were gone, but for right then, I just wanted a truce. That was all I needed. Considering it was their fighting that ruined my entire life to begin with.

"Oh?" My mom had caught sight of Lily and in the baby carrier, Kaylee. From there, came the introductions to each other's other kids. To my intense surprise, my mom was even civil to Rachel, despite the fact that I'd gathered that Rachel was the one my dad had replaced her with, and if I'd gathered that, I had no doubts that my mom had as well.

Slowly, we all migrated towards the other guests, which made it both a little easier, and a little harder on me, considering Josh and Zack had taken my mom's attention next. She remembered them from our time at the park, but it must have taken her a little while to realize it.

Cluster fuck.

I slipped away when I could, scooting between the benches and ducking behind a large potted plant until someone I knew walked by. I clung tight to Emmett's wrist, making myself as small as I could, fitting against his side to avoid anyone I knew seeing me.

"Hide me." I requested, "Holy _shit_ , make it stop." He laughed, looking down at me.

"Break time?" He asked, and I nodded vigorously, "Then come on up here with everyone else. Everything's starting in a few minutes, and you need to stick near your seat." I sighed in relief.

I gave a glance around, though, "Where's Mikah?"

"He's hanging out with Cole somewhere out there." He replied, nodding toward the trees, "One or two humans, sure. But this many would be stupid not to hire a babysitter for him."

"Is he gonna be back?" I asked.

"Later tonight, yeah." He answered, "Don't worry, shorty." He led me forward and parked me on the end of the bench in the very front of the row of benches before he spoke again, "And try not to be so overwhelmed. I know it's hard, but you'll make it."

"I can't help it." I replied, sighing again, "Whoever thought it was a good idea to invite _freaking everyone_ is still fired."

"And why is that?" Alice had obviously taken offense, turning from her spot to look at me.

"I'm half surprised you didn't invite Jack." I countered, and she narrowed her eyes, "What? He's the only one from my past you _didn't_ invite."

"Wouldn't that go over well?" Emmett chuckled a little.

"Don't even joke like that." Alice snapped at him, her hands on her hips, "Can you imagine what would happen if he actually showed up here?"

"Who says he's not?" I asked, and she looked to me. I frowned, though. Why the hell would I say that?

"Shorty?" Even Emmett found that disturbing.

"Think about it," I went on without even thinking, "He's been trying really hard to keep an eye on his family if he knew enough to send his stupid mom after me, and _everyone_ is here. Why wouldn't he be here, too?"

Alice stared at me for a few seconds, before she suddenly turned. I had a point, and I knew she knew it.

"Carlisle." Her tone was firm, but hushed as she walked away.

"Wait." I muttered, "Was that why you were outside that night? Because he'd been around?"

"Uh.." Emmett looked around briefly, "No."

"Liar." I grumbled. I looked over in time to see Carlisle and Jasper both walk off. I stood up, ready to follow them, but Emmett easily caught me.

"They're just going to find Cole and Mikah." He told me, "No big thing. They'll be back in two minutes, tops." I believed him, so I reluctantly sat back down.

True to his word, they were both back in just over a minute. I'd counted.

Oddly enough, I had yet to calm down. I still felt worked up, and I felt a pressure I had never felt before. Looking around myself, paranoid as everyone began taking their places. Emmett sat beside me, obviously concerned.

"Calm down, shorty." Emmett whispered to me, "You feeling okay?"

"No." I replied honestly, which was true.

"Carlisle," Emmett called his attention from up the row, "She look pale to you?" Now wasn't exactly the time for me to be getting sick, and I knew that, so I sighed.

"I'll live." I muttered to Emmett, knowing Carlisle heard me too. It was too late anyway as I clearly heard the music change and everyone had to stand up. I followed suit, taking slower, deeper breaths than I was sure was normal.

I wasn't used to feeling like this. I wasn't even sure how I felt. A shaky sort of nervous nausea. My entire trembling coming straight from my uneasy stomach. It didn't feel like any sort of forewarning or anything of the sort, but I could have just been too afraid to connect the dots.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, just taking a deep breath while I could. Opening them as Bella finally reached the front. I was trying to relax, to unwind. To trust that with everyone around me, I was safe.

I felt slightly, very slightly better as we sat back down, and I scooted closer to Emmett. In an unconscious attempt to feel safer. What was wrong with me?

"What's going on with you?" Emmett asked me quietly. I shook my head, as that was the only answer I could give him. My throat felt tight, forcing me to breathe slower, and I found that Emmett putting his arm around me just made that worse, so I had to lean away. Fidgeting a little, experimenting with sitting positions.

I managed to sit there through the whole thing, but my breathing was tight. I did what I could to breathe slowly, carefully, but the trembling of each breath out was unmistakable.

As Bella and Edward turned to face us, the whole area stood up again, and I followed suit. From my vantage point, I could just see between two or three people in the benches off to the side to our left. Across the aisle, and passed those people standing there, in the trees, my attention was taken.

Before I even recognized him, straight terror shot through me. Stopping my heart, and setting it into a sprint at the very same time.

Jack.

It was all I could do not to scream and run at the very second I met his eyes. I stared, unable to help it, as I needed to be sure it was him. Panic making my vision _very_ clear. It _was_ him.

 _How_ could he be standing there right at that moment? He was either very brave, or very stupid, but his state of mind was nowhere near my focus at that point. I couldn't look away.

One blink, however, and he was gone. I'd seen that happen before with someone else, but he actually was capable of that quick of a movement now. That was very upsetting.

"Shorty?" Emmett had clearly heard how upset my heart was now, concerned again as he looked over.

"I think I'm going to throw up." I whispered as silently as I could, "Can I go inside?"

"Yeah." He replied quickly, "I'll vouch for you. Go."

I instantly turned, and I knew I was close enough to the porch to make it inside without too many people noticing. I wasn't trying to ruin anything for anyone, which was why I ran as fast as I did.

I covered my mouth and sprinted as quickly as I could for the porch. Praying with every step that I'd make it to the bathroom. Bawling behind my hand as tears came too quickly to stop them. I allowed those tears, far too focused on not barfing everywhere in front of everyone.

I wasn't sure if it was smart to run off on my own after just seeing Jack, whether he was real or not, but I had to get away from there. Away from so many eyes, so many people.

I hurt. Everywhere, I ached. Especially my heart, and my adrenaline-numbed limbs. Thankfully, I made it. Slamming the bathroom door closed, throwing the lock with violently trembling hands. It took three tries.

I collapsed onto my hands and knees beside the toilet, but it was useless. Nothing was coming out. For the first time, I was too afraid to throw up. I turned over, sitting with my back against the bathtub, facing the bathroom door, in a pure terrified attempt to get a breath.

But suddenly, I couldn't take a breath.

I had to breathe, but I couldn't. Which was only making this worse. I was in here alone. Everyone was outside, and I was the only one in here.

Thoughts of throwing up gone, all my focus now on the fact that my throat had closed. Completely closed off, and I could feel the effort of my breath trying to escape, but it couldn't. Literally stuck in my chest. Exactly like someone had their hand closed around my neck, but nothing was there. This was all my own doing.

That was absolutely terrifying. Both hands shot out beside where I sat curled, trying to brace myself to sit up straighter, but that didn't work either.

My throat had closed in panic before, but this was different. I could feel it. I wasn't getting absolutely any air, and getting more scared by the second. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get any. It was stuck, locked in. I couldn't let out a breath or get one in.

What was this? What the hell was happening to me? I knew it was all my own doing, but I didn't _want_ this. I was beginning to get desperate. I struggled, fought with myself, but that wasn't working either.

I jumped as the door was suddenly thrown open, as if it weren't even locked, and Carlisle was there. He crossed the room quickly, kneeled in front of me, and my hands automatically reached for him.

How'd he know? I didn't care how he knew. He was here, and I was growing more desperate with each passing second.

"Breathe, Leandra." He was so calm, but I was far from it. I struggled, fought to do as he told me, but I truly couldn't. He turned, looking back at someone in the doorway but I couldn't see them.

"Go get Jasper." He ordered, "Now."

My chest heaved, aching deeply with each forced attempt at a breath, but it wasn't happening. My entire body shook, trembling violently just sitting there, gripping his arms as tightly as my hands could hold.

He looked to me again and spoke.

"You're having a panic attack." He explained, meeting my terrified gaze, "I know you're afraid, but this will pass. Focus on my voice, Leandra. Just on my voice. Nothing else." Panic attack? I'd never had one that felt like this before. All the ones I'd had, I could at least let my breath out.

"I can't breathe." It took me several tries to choke that out, my voice strangled in my chest and throat. I couldn't speak again, but what I did manage to say ended in deep, crushing bawls. That solved the issue of getting a breath out, but I still couldn't get one back in. Locked back up too tight.

"I know." He replied quickly, "Breathe, Leandra. Please." I really couldn't. I fought with myself. A war I was losing.

Looking over at Jasper's sudden arrival, he seemed just as concerned as Carlisle was. It didn't take him long to figure out what the problem was.

"Breathe." Jasper told me, his tone both firm and quiet, and before he'd even finished saying that single word, my panic was calmed enough to let me gasp a breath in. That breath was immediately sobbed back out, but I could take another in. Instead of keeping my grip on Carlisle, though, I brought my hands back and knotted them in my hair, drawing up into a tight, trembling ball.

What the hell was wrong with me?

"What in the hell happened to her?" Emmett stood in the doorway, but I wasn't focused on that. Obviously nobody else was either, because nobody bothered to answer him.

I kept a tight hold on my hair, sobbing against my drawn up knees. Bawling desperately. I didn't understand. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on with me. I'd never, ever felt like this before. I was scared, this reaction something I'd never anticipated or even imagined could happen, but I had no control over it.

Slowly, carefully slowly, I felt my emotions eased. I could take deeper breaths, slower breaths. I still cried, but they'd calmed, lessened intensity. Jasper was really working hard.

I stayed locked in my trembling ball for several minutes while I gathered myself a little more. Catching my breath, avoiding anyone's gaze while I did so.

"What happened?" Emmett asked again.

"I'm assuming," Carlisle finally answered, "That this has been building for quite awhile now. Something like this had to have been brought on by too much happening over a short period of time."

"So what caused it?" Jasper asked.

"Jack." I whimpered against my knees, "Jack."

"What about him?" Jasper asked, trying to meet my eyes still hidden behind my arms. I didn't answer him, not sure how to. I didn't trust my voice anymore.

"Leandra?" He pressed lightly.

I was done talking, however. Several minutes, they tried, but I'd sort of fallen numb, which involved speech. Of any kind. This was also new to me. I could sort of respond with a nod or a shake of my head, but it took several tries to get that from me, but if the question involved Jack, I refused to answer in any way.

I knew numbing up like this was scaring them, but it was scaring me as well. It was like as soon as Jasper helped me with calming down, I took over and finished the job for him. I was stuck now. It reminded me a lot of Ms Parker's visit, but about a hundred times worse. I refused to look at anyone, and if they tried meeting my gaze, I looked away.

"This is bad." Jasper sighed, "Carlisle, what should we do? I don't want to force her to feel emotions if she's protecting herself, but I don't know what else to do."

"She just needs support right now." Carlisle replied, not seeming that worried about it, "She needs a quiet, safe place to rest and recover. I don't know what pushed her to this. I wish I did, because knowing would make it easier to help her recover."

"She's been acting off all day." Emmett informed them, "But I didn't think it was this bad."

"Off, how?" Carlisle asked, turning to look at him.

"Well, there were the things she was saying." He replied, "About Jack-ass being around. That's what made Alice talk to you before everything started."

"Leandra was the one that brought that up?" Jasper asked.

"She figured out why we were out there that night." Emmett said as an answer, "But I'm pretty sure having everyone here today didn't help her."

Carlisle sighed, "Especially when she was so nervous about this wedding to begin with."

"Alice just thought it'd be good for her." Jasper defended her, "To keep her occupied in hopes of distracting her from what day it was."

I let them talk among themselves. I wasn't about to add in my own two cents. I just wanted to feel more like myself, but it wasn't happening yet.

"Should we just help her to her room?" Jasper asked, "It's quiet in there."

My room. I did want my room, so wordlessly, I moved to stand up. Struggling a little in my cramped position. Seeing what I was doing, Carlisle stood up and helped me up. I accepted his help, grateful.

Jasper stood up as well, his eyes never leaving me. I sniffled hard, fighting with my clogged but runny nose as I kept my eyes down on my quest toward my bedroom.

I knew I looked a mess, but I didn't exactly care at that point. It took me until then to realize I still clung to Carlisle's arm as tight as I could. Knowing, however, didn't solve it. I didn't want to let him go. He didn't seem to be in a hurry either, though, which made me feel better about it.

We entered my room, just across the hall, and I immediately appreciated the safety it promised. Emmett remained in the doorway, until Carlisle looked back at him.

"She'll be alright." He assured him, "It's alright. Go on back outside. Fill the others in, as I'm sure they're curious. Once you do that, go find Cole and Mikah. Post them outside her window. I want her one-hundred percent safe while she's in here."

"Feel better, shorty." With a slight nod, Emmett turned. Leaving the doorway and closing the door lightly behind himself. It was quiet after that, and I realized in the silence how tired I was.

Reluctantly, I loosened my grip on Carlisle's arm and moved for my bed. I had yet to say anything, and I fully realized that, but I couldn't yet. I settled onto my side easily, curling into a ball. I took a deeper breath than I had since all this started. Facing the wall made me feel a lot better.

As it turned out, all I really needed was a little bit of sleep. I was relieved when I woke up to Esme checking on me about an hour later, and found that I was able to speak again.

"I'm sorry, honey." She murmured as I sat up, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." I replied. I still felt puffy and tired, though.

She offered me a small piece of chocolate. I wasn't sure why she offered it, but it really helped, and within moments after eating it, I felt even better. Followed by a glass of water. That, I could understand why she offered, and accepted it gratefully. Drinking until it was half gone. It soothed my throat and stomach.

Taking a deep breath, I felt that calm me even more. I was far from doing well, but I was okay again.

"What happened, honey?" She asked, gently smoothing my face, and that comforted me. I felt bad enough for how I acted, but I had no control over it, and she seemed to understand that.

"Jack." I replied almost silently, "I saw him."

"You saw him?" She asked.

"I don't know if he was actually there, but.." I kept my eyes down, "I saw him."

"If he'd been around, we'd know it." She assured me, "I promise."

"Why would I see him then?" I asked, "He was just _right_ there.."

"I don't know why you'd see him." She replied gently, "And I know it seemed real to you, but I promise there was no one there."

"That doesn't really help." I admitted, "Now I just feel really stupid."

"No." She immediately said, "No, honey. You have no reason to feel stupid. Everyone has their limits, darling. Finding yours is no reason to feel bad about yourself."

When she put it like that, I felt a little better about it. I glanced up as she offered a cool, damp washcloth. I accepted it gratefully, holding it over my forehead and eyes for a moment. It felt amazing.

"Is everyone still here?" I wondered.

"Yes." She replied, "When they wondered where you were, I let them know that you weren't feeling well, and needed to lie down." That made me feel even better. My embarrassment lessening quite a bit. She spoke again, "But I don't want you push yourself. Don't worry about returning unless you feel up to it, okay? I want you to rest tonight if you need to."

"I think I'm okay now." I mumbled.

She sighed, smoothing my hair gently, "I think I'd rather you stay in here for just a little longer."

That didn't sound too bad to me, so I sighed, and nodded. I still felt really off, so I'd stay in here if she thought that was best for me. I removed the cloth from my face and looked up at her.

"Everyone is right outside, honey." She assured me, "Just let us know if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay." I agreed quietly, laying back down.

After making sure I was okay, she left not long later. I left my room once, crossing the hall to the bathroom to soak the washcloth again in the sink before returning to my room. Closing the door behind myself, and keeping my eyes down as I approached my bed again.

Only to freeze before I could take another step. Standing there, in my room, was Jack. I waited, standing frozen right beside my bed. I waited for this, whatever this was, to go away. He _couldn't_ be here. It was impossible. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind.

His crimson eyes met mine, a hidden sort of smile in those eyes that pinned me to the spot. I suddenly desperately missed his blue eyes, as those were easy to read. These, his new crimson eyes, were impossible to read and held a depth in them that I couldn't even begin to measure.

Several blinks later, however, he smirked, and I knew this was real.

That sudden realization seemed to thaw me out. I dropped the cloth and rounded, scrambling toward the door. Working up a decent scream, but before I could even hint at letting it out, my mouth was covered and I was lifted up.

I fought, thrashing hard against the arm pinned like concrete around my stomach, attempting to twist my head away from the hand clamped over my mouth and pinning my head back against the solid stone chest behind me.

"Ah, ah." Jack's smooth voice in my ear started my tears again, "Don't scream. It won't do you any good anyway."

 _How_ was he here? I was supposed to be safe in here. He wasn't supposed to be here. My family? They were right outside. Mikah was right outside the window! Just feet away! _How_ had Jack gotten passed everyone outside, and manage to find me right now?

The point was, he was real. Somehow, he was here, and he had a hold of me.

 **A/N: Yay! It didn't take me a month to get this out! I know it's really freaking long, but it's gotta be that long, because I miss throwing gigantic chapters at all of you.  
It also gave me something to do to stay off my feet for once. So yay for that too! I'm getting restless, but it's for a good cause, so I'll live with it.**  
 **THANK YOU! To those that REVIEWED! AHHH! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!**  
 **I love reading reviews. It's like.. A golden rainbow magical unicorn pony that farts skittles and is wrapped in bacon.**  
 **As you can tell, I miss caffeine. And I've gotten off track.  
I also know a lot happens in this chapter, and it seems pretty fast paced, but that's the fun part about it!  
** **BUT!  
** **Chapter six should be along soon. We shall see what changes lay in there. I'm curious myself, so this should be interesting.  
** **BOO FOR SUSAN!  
** **That is all.  
** **Until Six, my friends!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Again, I couldn't breathe, but this was more caused by the pointless struggling I was in the middle of. Twisting, throwing myself this way and that. Kicking outward, kicking backward, hurting myself in my desperate quest to get free.

He himself wasn't hurting me. He was holding me just tight enough to keep me restrained.

"Damn." Jack chuckled, "Calm down, bitch. I'm just here to talk." I had no choice but to stop struggling for a second. With my mouth covered, and my nose still mostly clogged, I had to stop. I was out of options. My heart pounded painfully again, and it ached in its effort.

It was silent for a few moments as he waited. Holding me still.

"If you're good, I'll let you go." He told me quietly, "You good?" Hesitantly, I nodded as much as I could. Carefully, he uncovered my mouth, and the second his hand was out of the way, I let one good scream out. His hand instantly replaced itself, but the sound was already out. Still echoing around me.

He waited, sighing heavily in annoyance. I heard the quiet growl in the sound, but still. He wasn't hurting me.

I waited, staring at the door, but nothing changed. Nobody came running, and Jack was still here. I stared at the door, begging, pleading in my mind for the door to open, but it never moved.

"Believe me now?" He asked after about a minute of waiting, "Can I let you go now?" I was confused. Deeply confused. My silence must have been answer enough for him, because he dropped me to my feet. I collapsed, falling to my hands and knees, but before I could even think about crawling for the door, he blocked my path.

"W-Wha-"

"Shut up." He barked, "Like I said, I'm only here to talk. If I'd wanted to kill you, you'd be dead." Slowly, numbly, I kneeled up. Looking up at him again as I fought to catch my breath. I couldn't stop shaking no matter how hard I tried.

I waited as he waited, watching him as he watched me. He seemed to study me. Like seeing me was just as hard for him as seeing him was for me.

I really couldn't help it, though.

Just the sight of him was enough to make me want to throw up, but I couldn't look away. Taking in the notable changes, as well as the painful similarities. He _looked_ the same, but he didn't look the same. In many ways, he hadn't changed a bit. In so many ways, he had changed completely.

"Boy," He finally laughed, "Look at this place. You've lucked out, bitch. Damn did you land in a nice cushy place." He emphasized that by turning a little, looking around the room.

"How are you here?" I had to ask that. I couldn't stop the question from escaping.

"I have my ways." He replied simply, "And before you fucking ask, listen." I frowned in confusion as he fell quiet, lightly gesturing toward my bedroom door.

In the silence, I could just hear the sound of voices outside the house. There were still people here, and everything was fine, so I quickly gathered that my family had to be okay too.

I changed my question, "Why are you here?"

"Why else?" He asked in reply, "I said I wanted to talk to you. Jesus. Don't you fucking listen?"

"About what?" Hesitantly, I stood back up. Making no move to piss him off yet. I even took a step back, away from the door so he wouldn't think I was making a break for it.

He didn't reply right away. Lifting a picture frame from on top of my dresser and looking at it. I waited, knowing this part. Whatever he wanted to say, he'd say on his own time, not mine. I was starting to calm down, because he did have a point. If he'd wanted to hurt or kill me, he could have by now. Easily.

"That's Josh." I muttered, and he glanced to me.

"I can fucking see that." He snapped lightly, and I fell quiet, biting my lip. He kept his eyes on me, though, so I looked down.

"Sorry." I instinctively mumbled.

"Not yet you're not." He grumbled, shaking his head as he looked to the picture again, "Out of _how_ many things you should be sorry for, you're sorry for being stupid?"

"Not just that." I admitted.

"Not yet." He repeated, "As much as I fucking owe you for every _single_ fucking ounce of trouble you've caused me, that's not why I'm here." I held my breath for a moment, afraid to breathe until he spoke again.

"This is why I'm here." He muttered, lifting the picture frame in gesture, "This. How fucking stupid are you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, slowly stepping back toward my bed. His eyes followed my every move, though, so I wasn't stupid enough to run for the window. He wasn't trying to kill me, so I could afford to sit.

"Did me bringing my fucked up mom into picture not tell you anything?" He asked. I actually hadn't expected him to bring this up yet. I was still adjusting to looking at him again.

"Yes." I replied, "It told me that you didn't want me living with Heather."

"No shit." He snapped, his tone condescending, "Ever stop to think that maybe I had a reason not to want you there? Or them around you? What the fuck were you thinking? Bringing them here? Every single fucking one of them."

"I was there to protect everyone." I explained, and his brow furrowed in confusion so I went on, "If I lived there with Heather, _you_ wouldn't show up, and my family could protect themselves better." He snorted, "And if I was there, Aro wouldn't come for me."

"Are you really that fucking stupid?" He snapped again, "Oh dear God, please tell me you have just a little more common fucking sense than that. The heroics of it all. You selfless little shit. Can't even see what was right in fucking front of you."

That answer of mine seemed to piss him off. I knew better than to speak right then, so I'd let him continue, because I knew he wanted to.

"If Aro was gonna come for you," He explained, his tone sharp and short, "No human was going to stand in his way. He would have taken them all out before you could even blink. In case you forgot, he's not afraid of silencing the human witnesses."

I hadn't thought about that before.

"I sent my mom there, because you're safest with that coven of yours." He said, "Here."

"But Aro-"

" _Aro_ is less fucking likely to take anybody out if _you're_ with them." He snapped harshly, cutting me off as he slowly paced my way, "For some God forsaken reason, he thinks you're important. He wants your trust. Humans are humans. You're allowed to be around the humans as long as you kept your stupid mouth shut, but as long as you're around that coven of yours, he might give them a fighting chance."

I nodded a little. I hesitated, though.

"If he decided to come for you while you lived there," He went on, "There would be nothing you could have done about it."

"How do you know all this?" I frowned, looking up at him as he made it to the side of my bed. How close he suddenly was made me nervous, but that was as much instinct as it was memory.

"One, I _still_ have my ways." He replied easily, "Second, everyone knows how Aro thinks. It doesn't take a fucking genius to figure it out."

"Why are you trying to help me?"

"Because this whole Volturi shit is messing up my game." He rolled his eyes, "They need to step back, because I was here first. I can't have someone else wanting you when you're mine, now can I?"

"Oh." I muttered, "How are you here now? Wasn't my family watching? Haven't they been trying to keep you away?"

"Oh, they've been chasing me away." He answered honestly, "At least, they think they have. I wanted to talk to you, so they needed to get the fuck out of the way. Nice wedding, by the way. Fucked up, but super fancy."

"You were here." I muttered, surprised, "Earlier. You _were_ here."

"You fucking saw me. How did you not know I was there?"

I shrugged a little, unsure about answering.

"How does nobody else know you're here?" I asked instead, "How didn't they find your scent? How can't they find it now?"

"Magic." He replied sarcastically.

"Really." I pressed.

"I can get as close to this house as I damn well please, and nobody would know a damn thing about it." I blinked in surprise, "I could have gotten a hold of you at any time, but I haven't."

"Why?" I stupidly asked.

"What fucking fun is that?" He asked, "As far as our little game is concerned, it's on hold for right now, but don't you dare fucking think I'll _ever_ forget about what you did to me."

I immediately looked down.

"I'll be back." He told me, "I'll be in touch again soon. Just stay here. This is where you're safest."

"Okay." I agreed, my hesitant voice hardly making a sound.

I had to admit, I was stunned. He was trying to help me. Sure, it was for his own benefit, but he was trying to help me. I glanced up as he slowly turned again, and crossed the room back toward the dresser.

"Wait." I said before he could suddenly disappear like I figured he was going to, "You said they think they're chasing you? How?"

"Can't give all my secrets away right now, can I?" He smirked, "What fucking fun would that be?" Again with that question, "Let's just say," He hesitated as he lightly set the picture frame back down, "That I've had the upper hand this entire time. I've been trying to get to you since you moved in with Heather."

"Well," I mumbled, "I was gonna move back in here anyway."

"Good." He barked, making me flinch, "Then we have no fucking problems. Just one question, though. How did you not know what these fucks were doing?" I assumed he meant my family.

"They're trying to protect me." I defended them lightly, "So they don't tell me anything anymore."

He scoffed again, "Why?"

"Because you scare the shit out of me." I finally admitted, and he smirked again.

"And don't ever forget that." He replied easily. I couldn't help watching him again. I had honestly no idea how I was supposed to feel. Everything in my body was telling me to run, but I was stuck. Frozen where I sat, but another part of my mind was telling me that he wasn't here to hurt me yet.

I hesitated in the silence, before I spoke up again, "How are you gonna get out of here?"

"The same way I got in." He answered, condescending again, "Through the fucking door."

"You really think you can just walk right out of here?" I frowned, "How do you know they're not watching my room?"

"It doesn't fucking matter." He snapped, shutting me up, "You ask too many damn questions now. Fuck." I was fishing for clues, but since I seemed to just be irritating him even more, I let it drop.

I jumped, startled at the sound of my window opening from the outside. Looking toward the window, I watched as Mikah shoved the curtain out of the way.

"Everything okay in here?" He asked, and hesitantly, I looked toward the other side of my room. Nobody at all stood there. I was in my room alone, and for a second, I had to question whether or not that whole conversation had been in my head or not, but my eyes found the picture frame. Sitting on the opposite side of the dresser than it had been when I'd woken up.

"Yeah." I mumbled, but I actually wasn't sure why I wanted to keep this a secret. Why did I want to lie to him about this? Maybe because I had no fucking clue how to even begin explaining it. Maybe because Jack seemed confident that he could get out undetected. It wouldn't do any good to tell them that he'd been in here. It'd only upset everyone, which I really didn't want to do.

"I'm fine." I sighed after some concerned silence.

"You sure?" He asked, frowning, "You seem kinda-"

How the fuck did my room not reek of Jack's scent?

"I said I'm fucking fine." I snapped a little, standing up. Mikah frowned again, obviously confused so I sighed, "Sorry. I'm just.. Tired of everyone asking me that."

"I understand, princess." He replied, "I'll just-"

"And stop calling me that." I snapped again.

"What-"

"Just stop, okay?" I grumbled, "I don't like it anymore."

Without waiting for his reply, I turned. Heading for the door. I didn't exactly want to be alone right then, but I was also slightly unsure about being around so many people when I felt like this.

I was shaky as I made my way into the bathroom to check my appearance in the mirror. I looked scared, but not enough for anyone really looking to tell. I stayed for a solid minute, my gaze locked on my reflection. This was just something I really couldn't rush.

I actually felt like I didn't recognize myself. I knew I was looking at me, but to me, it didn't look like me. It was the oddest feeling in the world not to recognize myself.

My cheeks were flushed, but it was far better than being pale. Reaching up, I smoothed my hand over my cheeks, feeling the warmth of emotion I couldn't express against the skin. I felt oddly trapped. Between wanting to cry again. To scream, bawl, beg. Throw up. All of that swirled in me, but it was stuck. Like my breath had been not long ago. On the inside, I was as far from okay as I could _ever_ possibly be. On the outside, I looked fine.

Despite all this, I knew I just had to make it through tonight somehow.

I fixed my hair briefly, smoothing it down against my head with my hands before I turned again. I was trembling, definitely not feeling well, but I went back outside anyway. I stepped outside, the cooler air of the evening almost stinging my warmer cheeks, but I didn't let that slow me down.

To be honest, I had no fucking idea how to feel. I felt scared, but too afraid to outright express it. I felt angry, but at nobody in particular. I felt desperate again, like I used to feel when I knew there was no chance of escape.

Knowing Jack could get to me at any time was something unimaginable just the day before. Now it was not only imaginable, but it had happened. How close he'd been to me wasn't just an irrational fear anymore. He was there. I'd seen him. Felt him, smelled his scent again. He'd had me right where he wanted me. He'd just let me go, but how long until he'd be back to finish what he didn't just now?

I walked numbly through the thick crowds of people, looking for one set of people in particular. They had not only proven themselves back in California, but every day since.

"Shorty?" Emmett asked, spotting me. I ignored him, though. Moving on, until I found who I needed to find.

Esme looked over as I approached, and smiled at me.

"Hi, honey." She murmured, "How are you feeling?" I didn't bother to answer her. I made it to her side and clung to her. I didn't know what to say to her anymore, but I knew I needed her.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" She asked, concerned again. Her concern hurt me. It meant she truly had no idea what I'd just gone through. Though it was nothing, it was _every_ thing at the same time. It was literally all I could do to not start sobbing again right there.

"Nothing." I mumbled in reflex. Quite the opposite, but I didn't want her to know that.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." I replied quietly. The last thing I wanted was to ruin everything anyway after trying so hard not to. Clinging onto her, I closed my eyes. Resting them, trying to regain just a tiny shred of composure.

"Leandra?" I opened my eyes at Jasper's questioning tone, "What happened?" There was obviously no hiding this from him. No matter how hard I tried. It was easier hiding my thoughts from Edward than hiding how I felt from Jasper.

"Later." I requested. I wasn't refusing to say anything. I just wanted to wait until there were fewer people around. He allowed that with a small nod as he turned and walked away.

It took me a minute, but I remembered. I turned a little, avoiding Esme's concerned gaze, looking toward the dark trees. Jack had to be out there somewhere. He had to be. If he was brave enough to come inside the house, then he had to be brave enough to stick around to witness the havoc he'd caused.

He wanted me to look for him. He wanted me to be paranoid, but I wasn't strong or brave enough to keep myself from doing just what he wanted.

He hadn't specifically said not to tell anyone, so either he wanted them to know as well, or he just didn't care. I doubted the latter. He wanted as many people to know he was around as possible, so he could feel like he was in control again, because essentially, he was. He could get passed anyone, and I had the strongest feeling that he'd chosen tonight to test that theory.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Esme asked me again. I didn't answer her. How could I? Knowing I'd be lying straight to her face.

What just didn't sit right with me was how everyone around me could be having a good time when everything was clearly so wrong. Of course, none of them knew what was out there, but it just didn't sit right with me.

My entire world had just stopped spinning, and nobody knew it. There were absolutely no words to describe how lonely of a feeling that was.

"Leandra." I glanced over at my mom's approach, "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I mumbled, lying more for my own sake than hers. I didn't care if I lied to her. I continued to scan the trees, waiting for one movement I knew I couldn't see thanks to all the lights around me.

The sound of Hunter's slightly squealing babble in my ear had me glare and glance over at my mom, Hunter in her arm.

"I'm glad." She replied, but still seemed concerned, "But you're looking a little flushed-"

"Leandra." Thankfully, Alice took my attention, suddenly arriving at my side, "Can I talk to you?" She didn't seem worried, but that could have easily just been all an act to get me away from my mom before I snapped. Jasper must have spoken with her.

"Sure." I replied, hesitantly releasing Esme as Alice took my hand. I looked to my mom, "I'll be right back."

"Okay." She agreed with a small smile, and looked to Esme as Alice tugged me away. I doubted heavily I'd be back as soon as she thought I would, as I was absolutely dying on the inside.

"Thank you." I muttered to Alice, sighing heavily.

"I'm worried about you." She admitted as she led us through the crowd of people. I could see Jasper ahead, so I knew where she was taking me.

"Me too." I whimpered, glancing over at her. She had no idea why. She had no idea who'd just been inside the house with me. Nobody knew. Nobody knew why they needed to be worried yet.

"What's going on?" She asked, and I took a breath before I could cry. Shrugging in reply, not bothering to try to explain right then. If I would have allowed myself to speak right then, I would have burst into a fit of tears. Something I really didn't want.

On the edge of the yard, closest to the trees where we stood, there were far fewer people. From where I stood, I could just see Edward and Bella through the crowd of people, so I took a breath, and attempted to fix my mood. I really wasn't trying to ruin anything, but I was having such a hard time.

"It's later." Jasper pointed out as we reached his side.

"I can't tell you yet." I mumbled, "Not here."

"Why not?" I jumped, flinching roughly at Mikah's unexpected voice just behind me. In the trees, Mikah and Cole had joined us. Normally, my reactions weren't that strong, but I couldn't help it this time.

Thankfully, the sound I made was only loud enough to be heard by the group of people nearest us, but Alice caught me before I could storm into the trees and punch Mikah in the face.

"You scared me, you asshole!" I hissed as quietly as I could, and though I couldn't see him, his laughter just pissed me off even more. Though I knew he just didn't understand. He didn't know what had me so upset, so he found my reaction amusing.

"Leandra." Alice's firm tone settled me enough to stop trying. I glared around me now, working harder now to keep from crying. I was stuck in constant trembles as I did so.

"What was that all about?" Cole asked, and since I expected them to be there now, I wasn't as startled.

"That's what we're trying to figure out." Jasper replied quietly.

"Why can't you tell us what's going on yet?" Alice asked me instead.

"Not until everyone's gone." I grumbled, sighing deeply. Trying to dislodge the lump of emotion knotted in my throat without giving into it.

"Alright." Jasper agreed again, "But stay with us tonight, okay? I don't want you to go far."

"We could always just keep watching her room if you wanted her to go back in there." Mikah suggested from his hiding spot.

" _No_." I immediately whimpered as I looked to Alice, "Don't make me go back in there."

That definitely caught their attention. Alice frowned, "Leandra-"

"Please." I begged, my tone almost desperate, "I promise I'll be better. I swear. Just _don't_ send me back in there.."

That was more than enough to finally allow tears through. I was suddenly so terrified of my room, I couldn't stand the thought of being in there alone again. I pulled in a quick breath, coughing out a sob so quiet, I barely heard it, but it was just the first of many, much quieter sobs.

"Easy." She murmured, deep concern in her features as she glanced to Jasper, "Leandra, _what_ is going on? You're scaring the hell out of me." Instead of trying to answer, I clung to her side. Squeezing tears from my eyes as I clenched my eyes shut, trembling and shaking in silent sobs. She gently returned the embrace, putting her arm around my shoulders, which made me feel a little better.

"Okay." Mikah muttered, "Maybe that was a bad idea."

Alice looked over at Jasper, "Please go get Esme." With a nod, Jasper started off. God, this hurt so bad. This fear, this agony. Seeing Jack again had undone something in my head and my heart was tearing all over again. Added onto the new fear of my room, something I'd never had to fear before. Nobody understood. Nobody knew, but I knew. I understood.

Holding my breath, I stopped the sobs in their tracks for a good bit of time. Doing that a few times, I fought a war with myself. Between my mind, knowing I needed to stop this, and what my emotions wanted.

Thankfully, Jasper returned just a minute later with Esme and Carlisle in tow. I had yet to release Alice, but I'd calmed down enough to look over at their approach.

"Esme," Alice spoke the second they arrived, "How was she acting when she woke up?"

"She seemed fine." Esme answered quietly, gently smoothing my hair back from my forehead in concern, "She even seemed alright enough to come back out, but I suggested that she stay in her room for just a little while longer."

"I can vouch for that." Mikah spoke up.

"Definitely not like this." Esme finished.

"Why?" Carlisle asked.

"Something had to have happened between that time and now." Alice sighed, "She's terrified of her bedroom."

"She bit my head off." Mikah reported, "Just before she came back out."

"And she refuses to tell us what it is until everyone is gone." Jasper added quietly, "But I'm worried, Carlisle."

"I'm sure she's just overwhelmed." Carlisle replied.

"Then why doesn't she want to go somewhere quiet?" Alice asked, "You'd think if she was overwhelmed by everything, she'd want peace and quiet. Not huge crowds."

"Maybe it's not her room she's terrified of." Cole suggested, "Maybe it's being alone?"

"She knew she wasn't going to be alone." Alice shook her head lightly, "Mikah had already suggested standing outside."

I might as well have been three states over with them right outside.

"Think we should call Edward over?" Mikah asked.

"No." Jasper replied before I could protest to that, "I don't want to weigh him down tonight."

"Good point." Mikah replied.

"We'll talk to her later." Jasper added, "We can handle this ourselves."

"For now," Carlisle murmured, "We'll just stay with her. That seems to be what she prefers." I nodded immediately.

"In the meantime," Esme spoke next, "I'm going to go check out her room."

"No." I told her before she could even move, "Don't go in there. Not alone." I _hated_ to think about what could happen if she found Jack in there while she was alone. I only gained more concerned gazes, but I didn't care.

"See what I mean?" Alice asked.

"Hey," Emmett approached, "What's wrong with shorty now?"

" _Please_." I stressed, my eyes on Esme as I ignored Emmett, "Don't go in there."

"In where?" Emmett asked, confused.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetie." She replied gently, and I traded hugging Alice to hugging her again. Landing roughly against her side and clinging instantly.

"Please.." I begged again anyway.

"I won't, honey." She assured me again, and that time, it seemed to stick. I could breathe again.

"I'll be right back." Mikah muttered from his hiding place. I allowed that, eased by the fact that Esme didn't seem to be determined to leave anymore.

"Uh.." Emmett prompted.

"She's upset." Esme explained, looking to Emmett.

"Understatement." Jasper added quietly.

"I'll cheer her up." Emmett smiled at me, offering his hand, "Come on, shorty." If there was person who would have a snowball's chance in hell of cheering me up right then, it was either Mikah or Emmett. Considering I was mad at Mikah, I actually was tempted to go with Emmett.

"Not yet." I mumbled, and since that wasn't specifically a no, he took that for an answer. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to keep Esme from going into my room anyway if I was gonna wander off with Emmett. I couldn't have that.

"Nothing." Mikah had returned from wherever he'd gone, "I didn't find anything off about her room." Oh. He'd gone to check. Since I'd had no chance to worry about it, I didn't get too upset about him going in there. It didn't really surprise me that he'd found nothing wrong, but it did bother me all over again.

"Odd." Carlisle frowned a little. Instead of sticking around for them to question all over again, I looked over at Emmett. Hesitantly moving away from Esme's side and making it to his.

"Don't take her far." Jasper told him, "I want to keep tabs on her."

"And don't let everyone overwhelm her again." Alice instructed next, "I think she's had all she can take tonight."

"You guys worry too much." Emmett replied easily, "She'll be fine." I wished I had his confidence. I allowed him to lead me away, pulling me through the crowd. I clutched his hand tight in return, clinging despite my trembles.

"Talk to me, shorty." He murmured when we were far enough out of the way. He'd led me straight to the table lined with food. I didn't reply immediately as he handed me a cupcake, too focused on that, but he didn't seem to mind that, either.

One of the things I appreciated most about Emmett was his ability to be silent, but supportive at the same time. He wasn't pressing, but waiting. Waiting for me to come around on my own. I chose to sit on the back porch step. I was pretty worn out suddenly.

"I can't." I finally sighed after swallowing whole a second cupcake, "But it's bad."

"What happened?" He asked anyway, "Shorty, you know you can talk to me."

"Not about this." I muttered, tearing the cupcake wrapper into pieces.

"Then.." He trailed off, sitting next to me on the porch step, "Can I try to guess?"

"Sure." I replied, "But you'll never get it."

"Did someone say something to you?" He asked. I hesitated before shaking my head. No, that wasn't it. He hummed a little in thought, "Did you say something to someone else?" I shook my head again.

"Did you.. Suddenly remember something you've forgotten until now?"

"No." I mumbled, but that was a good guess.

"Did you remember something you've always remembered?"

"No."

"Hmm.." He sighed, looking around, "Does this have to do with seeing Jack-ass earlier?"

"No." I answered once again, but I definitely wouldn't let on that he was partially right.

"Then I'm stuck." He admitted.

"Me too." I muttered, glancing over at him as he glanced to me, "You can't fix it anyway."

"Now hold on." He replied, "What makes you say that?"

"Because." I said, "You just can't."

"Of course we can't fix it with you so against saying what 'it' is."

"Leandra." I cringed a little, looking over at my dad's approach, "I heard you weren't feeling well?" Lily, sitting in his arm, didn't look very happy. Her flushed, pouting face looked quite upset as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm okay now." I mumbled, fully aware that that was a huge lie.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." He replied, "I'm sorry to say, though, that we're on our way out. This one isn't feeling that well either, it looks like." He bounced Lily gently, indicating that he was referring to her. I could definitely see that myself, and I couldn't be more relieved.

"It's okay." I assured him as I stood up, "She really doesn't look that good." I gave him a brief side hug, which he returned easily.

"Can I ask you a favor?" He asked, and I nodded a little.

"Sure." I replied, waiting.

"I don't know where your mom ran off to." He sighed, giving a glance around, "I haven't seen her all night, but if you run into her, can you give her my phone number? I think I owe her an explanation after how I acted this afternoon."

"Yeah." I nodded again, "Yeah, I can do that."

"Thank you, kiddo." He replied, hugging me again.

"I hope you feel better." I said to Lily. Even if I didn't really like her, she really didn't look that good. I felt bad for her.

"Thank you." She mumbled in reply, and I nodded to her.

I sat back down as I watched my dad walk away. Well, I thought. That was one less person I had to worry about.

"You okay?" Emmett asked. I knew why he'd ask, but one person was easier to deal with at a time than everyone at once.

"No." I sighed honestly.

"Aw, shorty." He sighed as well, hugging me into his side briefly before he stood up, "Let's go find Rose."

"Okay." That actually didn't sound too bad to me. I accepted his help in standing back up, allowing him to lead me away from the steps.

After that, though, I did feel better. I was glad I chose to go with Emmett. My stomach hurt less, and for that, I was grateful.

With Emmett's constant help, I managed to make it through the rest of the night. As long as I had to to keep from ruining everything like I worried about doing. I wouldn't exactly say I felt okay again, but I was better than I was before.

I avoided Heather and everyone else there to see me, and as bad as I felt about that, it was better that way. I'd explain at some point later, but for right then, I needed space.

By the time Edward and Bella left, I was ten times as exhausted as I was when I first woke up. Practically the second they were gone, Alice insisted I get back inside. I wasn't as against that as I was originally, knowing everyone else but Carlisle and Esme would follow and I wouldn't be in there alone.

Remembering my aversion to my room, Alice kept me company while I changed out of that stupid dress and into comfortable pajamas.

I kept my back to her while I inspected my stomach. Sure enough, right along my stomach where Jack's arm had been, I was bruised. Lightly, hardly there and completely caused by my struggling, but it was there. Somehow seeing the proof only intensified my need to get the hell out of this room as quickly as I could.

I landed, exhausted on the couch as Alice followed, leaving my room much slower than I had. I fell back, limply slouched on the couch, and rested my eyes shut. It felt nice to just sit for awhile.

"Start talking, shorty." Emmett prompted back by the door.

"I can't." I mumbled, keeping my eyes closed.

"And why not?" He asked.

"Because I don't know how." I replied quietly, which was true.

"Start simply." Jasper suggested, "Let's start with what the hell happened outside just before the breakdown?" So _that's_ what that was.

"Jack." I muttered, finally opening my eyes, "I saw him standing out there."

"And we did mention that nobody was there." He replied, and I simply shrugged. They could tell me that all they wanted, but I knew the truth.

They went around in circles like that for over an hour while Esme and Carlisle were thanking all the guests and seeing them off, but I never gave up a thing. I knew exactly how crazy I would sound if I were to mention anything about what happened in that room, but I debated.

Emmett's words earlier really got to me. How would they help if they didn't know about it? Not that they could, but it _might_ have been worth a try.

So I snoozed. I was getting pretty good at ignoring their prompts and questions. Still in the middle of deliberation when Carlisle led Esme back into the house once everyone had gone home.

"She won't talk." Alice's sigh had me look over at their arrival, and I sat up a little straighter as Esme crossed the room to sit beside me.

"Honey," She prompted gently, "Why won't you talk to us?"

"You'll never believe me." I muttered, looking down.

"What makes you say that?" She asked in return.

"Because you haven't believed me all day." I answered.

"So whatever this is has to do with Jack again?" Alice asked, and I shrugged again. I found that was usually very effective in answering for me when I didn't want to answer.

"Leandra, he wasn't out there." Jasper murmured.

"Yes he was." I finally argued back, "I don't care how good you say you checked. I know you're wrong."

"And how do you know that?" Alice asked, "What's going on with you tonight?"

I shrugged again, looking back down. I knew I'd have to say something eventually, so I might as well get it over with.

"Leandra, please talk to us." Carlisle requested quietly, "What is it?"

"Jack." I replied quietly, listening to the soft yet slightly disappointed sighs around the room, "He was here."

"I think you've just been pushing yourself too hard." Alice suggested hesitantly as Esme smoothed my hair in an attempt to comfort me.

"I'm not." I insisted, "I know what I saw. He _was_ here." How was I supposed to prove this to them? If they hadn't seen him, and couldn't find his scent, they'd never believe me.

"Remember?" Alice asked me, "Remember when that happened before?"

"This isn't-"

"This is just like that." She assured me, "I know it seems so real to you, but-"

"Look." I stood up, and raised my shirt over my stomach. I wanted her to see the proof of what I was saying. What better way than to show her the bruise? Alice stood up as well, though, concerned.

"Leandra." She murmured, shocked as she inspected the bruise closer, "What'd you do to yourself? How'd this happen?" Carlisle stepped forward as well, frowning a little. Since the bruise was so light, he didn't seem too deeply concerned, but the concern was still very apparent.

"I didn't do it." I hadn't expected it to be turned around on me like this, " _He_ did."

"Leandra, nobody has been here." She told me, "Now how did this happen?"

"Jack." I insisted. I wasn't letting myself start to doubt now, "I'm not lying, Alice. I'm not. He was here." I spoke quickly now, "He was here. While everyone was outside, he was in there in my room. We talked-"

"Leandra." She spoke firmly now. Ending my rambling, gently taking my shoulders and sitting me back down with her, "He wasn't here."

"Yes he was." I was getting irritated. Stupidly, in my increasing frustration, I started to cry, "He was here, Alice. He was. He was here, and he's coming back. He's coming back. He said so.." She pulled me to her, hugging me securely as I cried against her shoulder.

"Okay." She told me, "It's okay." She still didn't believe me, but she didn't want to keep arguing with me. That much was clear. I didn't know what else to do, so I allowed her hug, even returning it. It was the closest form of comfort I had, and though it might not have been for the reasons I needed comforting for, it was all I could get, so I wouldn't waste it.

I listened to Alice sigh heavily before she spoke, "This isn't good."

That was the second time I'd heard that today, and I knew what she meant by that. She thought I was losing my mind, and truthfully, I wasn't so sure I wasn't, but I knew what I saw.

Could that all have been made up, though? It couldn't have been. There was no way.

"Leandra?" I was gently pulled away from Alice, and on my own, I turned to face Carlisle. He seemed more concerned now than he did over the light bruising over my stomach.

"I'm not lying." I sobbed, frustrated, "I'm not making it up. Why would I lie about that?"

"I know you're not lying." He replied quietly, "I know. Just tell me. What happened?"

"He was there." I repeated, "He was. He was in my room while everyone was outside. I don't know how you couldn't smell him, or hear him, or see him in the house, but he _was_."

"Honey," Esme tried now, "One of us would have picked something up."

"I'm not lying!" I hadn't exactly meant to make my cry that loud, but they weren't hearing me.

"Easy, Leandra." Alice murmured, "Calm-"

"Why don't you believe me?" I sobbed, rounding on her again, "Why? I've _never_ lied."

"I'm not saying that you lied." Carlisle took my attention again, "All I'm saying, is.. Maybe you were a little overwhelmed tonight, and maybe you weren't sure what you saw. My main concern is the fact that you're physically hurt."

"He did that."

"Are you _sure_ it was Jack?" He asked.

" _Yes_." I stressed, sniffling hard, "It was Jack. I know what I saw."

"Okay." He sighed, and by his tone, I was eased a little. At least Carlisle seemed to believe me. He looked to Alice, "From now on, she's not to be left alone for a second. Am I clear?"

Alice frowned, her sighing tone doubtful, "Carlisle-"

"Am I clear?" He insisted.

"I'm worried you're encouraging this." Alice went on anyway, "I don't think this is something that needs to be encouraged."

"She's sure about what she saw." Carlisle replied evenly, "So we need to believe her. It's our job to keep her safe. This is how it's done."

Jasper, having stood silent through all of this, stepped forward.

"Leandra," He murmured, and I looked over, "You said you and he talked." I nodded immediately.

"He said.." I sniffled again, "That.. That the reason he was there, was to talk about his family. Heather, Josh and Zack. That if I lived here, it'd be safer for everyone."

"He said that?" Jasper asked, and I nodded again.

"Just with a lot more cuss words." I added. I took a breath, "I asked him how he could get passed everyone without anyone knowing, but he never said."

"How long was he in your room?" Jasper asked.

"Like.. Not even ten minutes." I muttered, "He got there right after Esme left last, and left right when Mikah opened the window."

"That was just over six minutes." Mikah's voice back in the doorway had me turn to look that way, "I was worried, because it was _really_ quiet in there. Too quiet for my comfort. At first I thought she'd left the room, and that's weird for me, because I normally know exactly where she's at if I've been tasked to do so."

I didn't know what that was supposed to mean, so I stayed quiet. I didn't know if that was a good thing or bad thing, so I chose not to comment on that.

"What else did he say?" Carlisle asked me.

"That was it." I replied, "That, and that he'd.. Be in touch again soon. He's coming back."

"Did you see anything when you looked in?" Alice asked, her eyes on Mikah. She clearly continued to doubt.

"No." Mikah replied, "She was just sitting there."

"Did you smell anything?" She went on, "Hear anything?"

"Nothing." Mikah sighed, shaking his head, "She was just quieter than usual."

"I didn't either." Cole offered from the doorway as he looked at me, "I'm sorry, darling."

I knew why he was apologizing. He didn't like the fact that he couldn't confirm anything I was saying. I shrugged, looking down.

Alice pursed her lips, "Leandra-"

"I'm not making this up." I insisted again, "I don't care if you believe me or not. I know what I saw."

"I'm not saying-"

"You don't have to say it." I stood back up, "Just because nobody else saw him."

"Because there was nothing for us to see." She'd finally come out and said it. I crossed my arms, but fell quiet, "I'm sorry, Leandra. I know this isn't easy for you, but you have to believe me. There was _nobody_ here."

"Then how'd I get my bruise?"

"That's what I'm wondering myself." She countered, "What did you do to yourself?"

"Jack did it." I snapped, "I didn't. He picked me up-"

She sighed heavily, cutting me off.

"That's not fair." I whined, "Just because _you_ were too busy to see what was right in front of you.. Just because _you_ let him get passed you-"

"Now _that's_ not fair." Alice countered, "There was a thousand people here-"

"That's not my fault!"

"Enough." Esme finally put a stop to our arguing. As much as I wanted to keep going, I didn't want to go against what Esme wanted. I kept my arms crossed tightly, glaring down at the floor.

"Regardless." Carlisle stood upright as well, "I don't want to risk not believing her, so she'll be under constant watch from now on."

"Don't bother." I muttered, turning for my room, "Maybe next time he comes, he won't leave me here."

"We're trying to figure this out." Alice stepped forward, "If you would just-"

"It doesn't fucking matter." I repeated, "Just.. Go do whatever the fuck you do. I'll be fine."

I turned again, but this time, they didn't call me back as I made it into my room. Slamming the door shut behind me. I hated how this felt. I didn't exactly need them to believe me, though. I wasn't really sure what Jack was doing here yet. I wasn't really sure what he wanted. All he'd told me was that he wanted me to stay here.

I wasn't in my room ten seconds before a soft knock had me look back at the door.

"Leandra?" Mikah had followed me. I took a deep breath before turning and opening the door for him.

"Hi." I mumbled, and he gave me a small smile.

"Mind if I come in?" He asked, and I shrugged a little. I didn't really mind that much. It wasn't exactly him I was mad at. I was irritated at all of them, for sure, but not angry.

I stepped back, allowing him to step into the room. I turned around, crossing the room slowly.

"Sorry I snapped." I murmured, watching as he closed the door behind himself, but left it open a crack. I wasn't sure why he did that, but I didn't mind it. I still hated it in here. It still made me edgy, but with him here, I could tolerate it.

"It's okay." He replied before I could focus on that too much, "Things are overwhelming for you right now."

"I don't wanna talk about that." I admitted, sitting on the side of my bed.

"Fair enough." He nodded a little, "Then can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I hesitantly mumbled.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, "Right this second?"

"Um.." I muttered, honestly thinking about it. I eventually sighed, "Bad."

"Just bad?"

"Really bad." I clarified, "I just.. Don't get why they don't believe me. I'm sorry for fighting with them too, but.. I've never lied about anything like this before. Even with proof, they don't believe me."

"They're worried that with what happened in the bathroom earlier, you're just not one hundred percent sure about what you saw." He explained, "They're worried about you. Without seeing him with their own eyes, they're not sure what to believe. It's not that they think you're lying, Leandra. That's not it at all. They just think your mind is tired."

"Oh." I frowned, "So they think that it's my mind making stuff up?"

"Yeah." He replied, "Like that."

"It's not that at all." I insisted, "I don't know what happened in the bathroom, but this has nothing to do with whatever that was."

"Are you sure about that?" He asked, but he wasn't being condescending. He was honestly curious.

"I-I.." I sighed, frustrated as I looked toward the dresser again. To my surprise, however, the picture frame that had been out of place before, was now right back where it had been before. I chose not to react to that.

"I'm sure." I replied, taking another breath, "I wouldn't do something like this to myself." I looked down as I raised my shirt over my stomach again. Thankfully, or unfortunately, the bruise was still there. Confirming that everything really hadn't been made up by my tired mind.

"How did that happen?" He asked.

" _Jack_." I stressed, "I keep on telling you-"

"I mean," He murmured, "What did he do?"

"Oh." I calmed significantly, "He caught me when I tried to run. I.. Don't think he was _really_ trying to hurt me, but.. I kinda fought. I was scared, so I guess, sort of in a way, I _did_ do this to myself, but.. I had help."

He nodded a little before he spoke again, "So.. He was just in here?"

"Yeah." I sighed, "After Esme left, I left my room for only like a minute, and when I came back in, he was here. I didn't wanna believe it at first. I guess I was hoping it was like the last time I saw somebody, but.. It wasn't like that."

"I believe you." He murmured, and I looked up, "I don't care if I didn't see or hear anything myself. You saw it, you believe it, so I believe it. He's not getting anywhere near you again."

"How?" I asked almost silently, "How can you keep him away? If nobody knows when he's coming, how?"

"By not letting you out of my sight." He answered easily, "I'll be here when you're sleeping, and when you're awake. I swear on my life. He's not getting near you." Oddly, that made me feel better. It really was that simple.

"What about to hunt?" I had to ask.

"Then someone else will be here with you." He replied, "There's more than one of us here for you, Leandra."

I sighed, "I don't get it, though."

"What?" He asked, crossing the room to sit with me. I didn't mind that.

"The things he was saying.." I muttered, keeping my eyes down, "I mean, some of it sounded like the things he'd always say, but a lot of it.. He made sense. He wanted me back here, because I was safer here. That everyone was safer if I was here."

"Safer from what?" Mikah asked, "That's the thing." I realized I'd never gotten to mention that part.

"Aro." I answered quietly, and that caught his attention, "He said that.. Aro isn't afraid to get rid of the human witnesses. He said that I was allowed to be around the humans as long as I didn't say anything to them about anything, which I never did, so that wasn't a problem, but.. If I was here, he'd think twice about hurting you guys, because he thinks I'm important." I glanced over at him, "I swear, it was like he knows something I don't."

"That would probably be why he sent his mom there."

"That is why." I confirmed, "At least that's what he said, anyway."

"Do you believe him?" He asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I don't even know." I sighed, "I mean.. All this time, I've known he's been out there, but seeing him.."

"I think I can understand." Mikah nodded a little.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel." I went on, "I'm supposed to be afraid of him, but.. I still.. I still feel like I know him enough.. That I _should_ know.." I trailed off briefly, before I sighed again and continued, "That's why I'm so confused. He's never, ever wanted to protect me before. He says it's because that Aro is just getting in the way, but.. The way he said it.." I shook my head a little.

"Leandra, I don't want you to feel bad for how you feel about all this." He murmured, and I looked over, "You have every right to be confused."

"I know that."

"What I mean is you shouldn't feel bad for looking into these things, because whether you want to or not, you still feel like you have a tie to him." He went on, "In it's own weird way, you did. Yeah, he made your life hell in many ways, but.."

"I know what you mean." I mumbled softly, "I just.. I feel like I know him.. More than I should know him. I'm just afraid, you know? What if I feel like this, because I'm turning out like him?"

"I can tell you right now that that's not possible." He immediately said, "You might not believe me, but there's absolutely no chance."

"I mean, yeah. I wanna be good." I murmured, "I wanna be good, but.."

"That's the difference between you and Jack." He nudged me a little, "You want to be a good person. Jack is only after his own interests, and will stop at nothing to get his way. You are absolutely nothing like him."

"I really hope you're right." I whimpered, keeping my eyes down on my hands clasped nervously together.

"How long have you worried about this?" He asked, his voice quiet.

"Forever." I replied easily, "I guess since I was old enough to worry about it. When I was little, I used to _hate_ him.. So much.. And I wish I could still _hate_ him like that, but.. I know that's what he wants. He used to tell me all the time that he just wanted me to hate the way he hates. That as soon as I learned how to hate like that, then he'd be happy, but.. I guess after awhile, I just stopped hating him, and I just moved on to.. I used to wish so bad.. _So_ bad.. That he'd just.. Just once.. Just once care about me."

"That's _nothing_ to be ashamed of." Mikah told me, hearing the tone I used.

"Before I ran into Alice that day, Jack was all I had." I glanced over, "I just.. More than anything, I just wanted to be good enough, but no matter what I did, I never was. I tried everything I could think of, but I was never once good enough. Maybe that's why I never told anyone. Maybe that's why I still feel like I never deserved any of this." I gestured lightly around the room, "I guess I still feel like I want that. To be good enough for him."

"Now, _that_.." He murmured, "I understand more than you can ever imagine." I looked over, "Growing up constantly in the shadow of my older brother, never quite measuring up in my dad's eyes.. It gets to you, but you know what I learned? The only one that can ever truly decide if you measure up is you. Nobody else. Least of all Jack. Never live your life for the benefit of other people, Leandra. If you keep reaching for approval, you miss all the other good things around you. Trust me."

"I've tried to change."

"Nobody ever changes overnight." He assured me, "You've got this.. Habit. You tend to retreat when you feel defensive. It's not just physical, but emotional. You feel like you need to run and hide when things get tough, and that's understandable, but you'll never truly be happy until you can learn how to let that go." I looked down, "But that's what we're all here for."

"I'm a lost cause."

"Don't let me _ever_ hear you say that again." He immediately replied firmly, and I looked over surprised, "Nobody is a lost cause. I don't care what kind of past you have. It doesn't matter. It's never mattered. All that matters is what you choose to do with it.

"Your emotions, the way you feel is your own. Your thoughts, the way you think is your own. Your memories, the things you remember are your own. You are a wonderful, beautiful person, and I'll tell you that every day if I have to. I know it won't stick at first, but eventually, you will start to see that this many people.. Your family, my family, me, Heather and her family, your mother, your father.. Everyone can't be wrong. The truth far, far outweighs the misguided opinion of one horrible man. It might take some time before you see that, but I know you will."

Hesitantly, I nodded a little.

"And if it's worth anything," His tone eased, "You earn the approval of everyone around you just by being you, Leandra." I couldn't help it. Leaning over, I hugged onto his side. Though I knew he was okay with it, I couldn't help feeling a little bad, but he just gave me a gentle but firm shoulder hug in return.

"I missed you." I admitted quietly, and he chuckled.

"About that," He said, and I looked up at him, "This whole thing with Heather.. Leandra, I can't help feeling like you.. Feel bad for wanting to come home."

"I do." I mumbled, releasing him and sitting up.

"Why?" He chuckled.

"Because I made the choice to go there." I answered, "Then I just.."

"You changed your mind." He finished incredulously, "It's okay to change your mind. I don't know who told you that every single decision or choice you make is permanent, but it's not. I _can't_ stress this enough. You do what's best for you. Unless it's something potentially life threatening or hazardous to your health, you just do what you feel is right for you. Nobody can blame you for wanting to run. Hell, I can't, but you had your distance to think, and you changed your mind, and that's okay. We were _hoping_ you would."

"You were?" I asked quietly.

"Hell yes." He replied, laughing a little, "We weren't going to force you to stay here, but we were _really_ hoping you'd change your mind, as you had every right to do. Heather understands that. We all do. So don't you feel bad or guilty for changing your mind, okay? We're just glad you're home." I smiled a little.

"It hasn't been easy so far."

"Who wants easy?" He asked, "None of what has made this a little difficult was your fault. Personally, I'm just glad you'd made the decision to come home before that bitch Susan showed up." I laughed a little at his tone, "And shit. If Jack _is_ out there somewhere listening, I'll be the first to invite him in, just so I can drop kick his ass back to whatever fucking hole he crawled out of. Preferably, without most of his limbs, and I know I'm not the only one that feels that way."

"Language." I looked over at Esme's disapproving voice in the doorway.

"Sorry." He laughed a little, before he looked to me again, "I get a little worked up."

"It's okay." I replied, "So do I."

He chuckled, standing up. I followed, hugging him again. He returned it without much hesitation this time.

"I'll be right back." He told me, and I nodded a little as I let him go. I didn't mind him leaving, as Esme was here with me. I watched him as he crossed the room, stepping passed Esme.

"Thank you." I heard her tell him.

"No problem." Mikah replied, smiling a little at her. I sighed and sat back down as she stepped into the room. I briefly wondered how often they thanked him for something so simple. Listening to what I had to say. Actually hearing me when I had so much trouble saying what I needed to say.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Esme murmured first thing, and I shrugged again.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me." I sighed, "And I know you still don't."

"Honey, it's not that we don't believe you."

"It's that you don't have any proof of your own." I muttered, "I know, but I know I'm not crazy. I just don't think he'll let me get a picture of him."

"I think Carlisle's approach is best." She said, taking Mikah's vacated spot next to me on my bed, "Either way, I'd like to keep an eye on you. Just in case."

"He could be anywhere." I mumbled, looking over at the window.

"I don't want you worrying about this anymore tonight, okay?" She murmured, "I know how impossible that seems, but we know now. He's not getting anywhere near you."

I had a feeling she threw that last part in for my benefit, but she did have a point. They at least knew to watch me. Taking a deep breath, I nodded. I was already more than ready for bed after what a disaster tonight had been, so without a complaint, I turned over and crawled under the blanket.

Despite the way I looked for him everywhere I went, it started to get easier after that night. The stress from the wedding was behind me, and though I still thought about the events of that day, I'd made it to taking a breath two days later.

I had yet to see Jack again, other than in my nightmares, but I knew better than to believe he'd moved on.

My family was just starting by taking it one day at a time. Watching me every second, but the longer I went without sobbing desperately in the bathroom, the more they eased as well.

True to his word, Mikah stayed with me every moment of these days. He was standing just inside the doorway of my room at night, leaving the door open by my request. He was there when I woke up.

I had no idea how he was managing to stay with me this long, but I wasn't going to question it. I didn't mind that. It gave me someone just as fun as Josh and Zack to be around, but he was a better influence than they were.

Today, we had plans though. Playing cards outside on the porch. I was getting pretty good at this game, but I also cussed a lot more now than I had recently. About the third 'F' word that I let fly, Mikah gave me a look.

"If you say that word one more time," He said, "I'm gonna make you eat hot sauce."

I frowned, but knew he was joking, "Why?"

"Because you don't need to be saying things like that." He replied with a quiet chuckle, "Come on. You're better than that." I had to admit, though. I was curious. If, somehow, that were to become a punishment, how bad would it suck?

"How hot is it?" I asked, laughing as well.

"Try it." He suggested, grinning.

"Okay." I replied, standing up. That got him moving as well.

"No," He laughed, following me into the house, "I was kidding."

"It can't be that bad." I said, rounding the counter into the kitchen. Other than physically stopping me, he couldn't do much. Watching me search the refrigerator for the bottle I knew Esme had in here.

"Okay," He was gonna let me try it, "But let me. The last thing I want is to let you eat too much." I handed the bottle over willingly, and watched as he put just a few drops on the very end of a spoon.

"Aw, that's barely anything." I muttered, but he wasn't about to place any more on there. I laughed, taking the spoon from him. Turning the spoon over, I looked up at him as I hesitantly, but still bravely, licked the sauce off of it.

Boy, was I glad he only gave me that little bit. I immediately felt the burn, but that wasn't all. It just kept getting worse. I dropped the spoon and dove for the sink just about the same time that Mikah started laughing.

The fact that this was a very bad idea crossed my mind several times over the course of ten seconds as I laid over the sink edge, my mouth directly under the running faucet.

"Leandra," Mikah was cracking up hysterically, "Here's a glass-"

"There's no time." I whimpered around water and a now numb but still burning tongue. I gave an odd sort of sobbing laugh, adding to his own laughter.

"What'd you do to her?" Emmett had arrived, taking in the scene in amusement.

"She wanted to try this." Mikah replied, "So I let her." I couldn't see it happen, but I knew Mikah had handed him the bottle. Now just a few drops lighter.

"How much did you give her?" Emmett chuckled.

"Three drops." Mikah replied easily, "She was curious."

I whined another laugh around the water still in my mouth.

"Okay." Emmett laughed, picking me up easily, turning me over and sitting me upright on the counter, "Mikah, you're a bad influence."

Handing me a glass, Emmett pulled the milk jug out of the fridge and poured a little bit into the glass I held. I was skeptical as I inspected it, but I decided I'd try anything.

I sipped from the glass, surprised as it actually helped. Taking a full gulp now and holding it in my mouth. Sighing in relief.

"That sucked." I muttered when I could speak without it hurting, "I'm never cussing again."

"Am I?" Mikah asked Emmett smugly, "I was just joking with her, but hey. It worked, and besides. I'm just trying to keep her busy. Like Zack and Josh would."

"You wouldn't let me do half the stuff we did." I laughed a little, hopping off of the counter.

"No, probably not." Mikah admitted, "But it's worth a try, isn't it?"

"How about we just watch a nice movie, and hope she doesn't get any ideas." Emmett suggested, turning me away from the kitchen and leading me toward the living room.

"I don't get ideas." I grumbled as Mikah followed.

Clearly, Emmett's idea of a nice movie and my idea of a nice movie were two totally separate things. I'd always known this, but it really stuck out to me now. I was fine through most of said movie. It didn't really bother me until I was trying to sleep that night.

Mikah stood silently in his usual place, the door open just enough to filter in just a little bit of dim light from the hallway. I laid awake, staring across the room at the window and the rain droplets trailing down the pane.

I was silent for the most part as well as I waited for my mind to get tired enough to allow me to fall asleep, but I couldn't tonight. I wasn't sure if it was the movie earlier that kept me awake now, or my rolling stomach.

"Do you think he's out there?" I asked quietly, ending the stretch of silence.

"Sleep, princess." Mikah replied just as quietly, "I'm not going anywhere." I didn't miss how he'd slipped that nickname in there, but I also didn't protest this time.

"How is my smell not bugging you yet?" I asked, rolling over onto my back and looking toward him beside the door.

"I make sure it doesn't." He answered easily, "Now sleep."

"How?" I asked again.

"If it starts to get to be too much," He finally explained, "I just hold my breath. If that doesn't work, someone takes over watching you for a little while while I step out. That's only happened once, though. I know you need me to stay, so I stay. It's usually that simple."

"Oh." I mumbled, looking toward the window again.

"And no." He said, "I don't think he's out there. I know he's not out there, because nobody, not even Jack, would be stupid enough to come within fifty miles of this house right now without the best of intentions."

"Why?" I asked quietly, slightly confused.

"You've got so many eyes watching your room right now, nobody's getting through."

"Promise?" I asked, looking at him.

"I promise." He replied softly, "Now please. Get some rest."

"I'm so afraid." I admitted anyway, curling tighter in my blanket, "I know he's just waiting. I don't know what he wants from me, but I know it's something."

"Don't think about that right now."

"Then when am I supposed to think about it?" I asked, sitting upright.

"All I'm asking," He sighed quietly, "Is to just trust me, okay? I know it's hard. Believe me. I know it's hard, especially after the other night, but he's _not_ getting through again."

"Yes he will." I sighed as well, laying back down, "Maybe not tonight, but he will."

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that." He replied.

"Why not?"

"Because when you say things like that in the way that you say them, I believe you." He answered, "And it scares the hell out of me." I didn't reply to that. If he thought he was scared, he had no idea what this was like for me. Knowing, without a doubt in my mind, that he'd find a way through was terrifying for me.

Lucky me, I fell asleep to those thoughts.

 **A/N: Another chapter down. Woo. This one was a little tough. If it seems a bit mixed up or rushed in places, I apologize.**  
 **THANK YOU! To my AMAZING reviewer of last chapter! You really are awesomely amazing!**  
 **Chapter Seven shouldn't take too long. I know I need to get a move on with this storyline, but I'm also trying to pace myself. Just a little bit.  
Short A/N this time, guys. It's late, I'm tired, but I wanted to get this out tonight.  
Until Seven, my friends!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"So.." I prompted, frowning a little, "I still don't get it. What happened?"

"You should have seen her." Zack laughed, "It was _awesome_. Grandma showed up the other day, I guess to try to talk mom into taking her money. I couldn't really hear from where we were trying to listen in." I rolled my eyes and threw a grape at him from where I sat beside Josh.

"Well, I guess she said one too many things about you, and mom just _lost_ it." Josh finished for Zack, "I've _never_ seen her so mad. I swear, if dad wasn't there, mom would have literally thrown her out."

" _That_ ," I muttered, "I would have _loved_ to see."

As a sort of peace offering to me, Alice invited the boys over for the afternoon. Considering Heather wanted to bring some of my stuff from her house over here, she didn't mind that in the least.

At first, I was less than pleased by that idea, but once they got here, it was just as easy to be around them as it would have been had we never fought at all. It was the weirdest thing, but it also didn't bother me.

Heather stayed at Esme's insistence, and I knew exactly why Esme insisted. I was worried about Heather as well, with her mother showing up, and I had no doubts she needed someone to talk to.

The very same subject the boys and I were on currently, so while we ate lunch, Esme and Heather both talked outside.

"So I guess she left for her own safety." Josh added, and I scoffed quietly.

"Serves her right." I grumbled, "Maybe she'll learn to be nicer to people."

"So what about you?" Zack asked, sitting back down at his own spot at the counter, "Where'd you disappear to the other night?" During the wedding. I'd known this question was going to come up, so I was pretty prepared.

"I was with Emmett." I replied, shrugging a little, "I wasn't sure if I was done throwing up yet, and I didn't want to puke all over you."

The face he made told me he believed me.

"You're feeling better now, though, right?" Josh asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah." I replied, "A little."

"Good." Zack muttered, "Because that would suck."

"No," Josh corrected, "That would blow." Even I understood that one, actually laughing for the first time since they got there. It wasn't the cleanest lunchtime conversation, but it didn't exactly bother us.

I wasn't sure where Mikah had run off to. I did understand his reluctance to be around when the boys were around, considering they partially recognized him the last time they saw him. They'd seen him once when they visited me in New York the previous year, so I couldn't blame them for finding him a bit familiar.

That could potentially be a bad thing, so it was better to just avoid that altogether.

I knew he wasn't going to go far, since I was still under his careful watch, so I wasn't too concerned about it. He was probably outside, but I couldn't help missing him a little.

After lunch, I took the boys into my room to let Heather and Esme keep talking.

Every time I stepped into this room, I half expected to see Jack across the room, but just like every time lately, there was nobody there. I left my bedroom door open, though, just in case.

"I'm sorry." Josh muttered as I sat on my bed, and I frowned a little.

"For what?" I asked. I couldn't recall anything he'd done today that would warrant an apology.

"The last day you were there." He replied, and I looked down in understanding. I didn't like thinking about that.

"I'm sorry, too." I sighed, "I don't know why I was so mad."

"Neither do I." Josh mumbled, sitting next to me.

"I know why I was mad." Zack nodded a little, "She stabbed me."

Josh and I both sighed at the same time, speaking in unison, "Shut up, Zack."

"Dang." Zack laughed, "Fine." Josh and I both laughed along with him, but as Zack turned his back to us, inspecting a book in his hands, Josh and I looked over at each other.

"I guess I kinda miss you." Josh admitted, shrugging a little.

"You do?" I asked, surprised. I did miss him too, but I never really expected him to miss me. Especially considering how often we'd argue there toward the end, and how much harder I'd made their lives.

"Yeah." He replied as if that should have been obvious.

"What about when we'd fight?"

"Zack and I fight all the time." He waved it off, "I already told you about that."

That was true. Not only had I witnessed it now, but he had mentioned it a few times.

"But I know this is where you wanna stay." He finished with another shrug.

"That just means you guys will have to come over more often." I suggested and he smiled a little. I wasn't sure if that was such a great idea, but it bothered me to see him down.

"Leandra? Can you guys come out here, please?"

I stood up hesitantly at Esme's call from the living room. The boys both followed me, probably wondering whether or not I was in trouble. I was wondering the same thing, but I couldn't think of anything I'd done that would put me in trouble with anyone, much less Esme, so I wasn't too worried about it.

I led the way, finding both Esme and Heather sitting there on the couch.

"Honey," Esme started, "Did you happen to see Gina before you went into the house the night of the wedding?" I frowned, thinking about it. Had I seen her?

"No." I replied honestly, "The last time I saw her was when I was with you before Alice wanted to talk to me."

"You didn't see her at all while you were with Emmett?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"Nope." I answered, "I thought she just left early with that boyfriend of hers."

"I think I saw Hunter." Zack offered, his tone helpful, before he spoke again, "But it might have been a plant."

I laughed, briefly glancing over at him.

"Why?" I asked, looking to Esme again.

"I was curious." Heather replied for her, "I haven't been able to get a hold of her since."

"Try calling her?" I asked. I actually wasn't that concerned.

"I have." Heather answered, and I shrugged a little.

"She disappears." I said, "It's kind of what she does. There one second, and just poofs the next."

"That doesn't seem like something she would do immediately after making plans to be somewhere, Leandra." Esme murmured. That was kind of weird. Especially considering how glad my mom was to see Heather at the wedding.

"I just hope she's alright." Heather added, glancing over at Esme.

"She's fine." I mumbled, "She'll show up. She _always_ does." Even I heard the bitterness in my tone as I said that. I spoke again, "Then, you'll be wishing she was still gone."

I never thought about it again. Towards the end of the day, Mike showed up. Probably wondering where Heather had disappeared to for so long. I hadn't seen him since the wedding, and considering the last conversation with him had been a rough one, I was still pretty embarrassed around him, but he didn't let that keep bothering me.

He didn't treat me any differently than he usually did. I eventually warmed up to him again, even considering how rough the last week or so had been. He was a good guy, and I'd come to forgive him.

They eventually all left, but I'd had a good day. It was nice to have had a good day after all the shitty ones.

I was a little bummed that Mikah wasn't back by bedtime, but I felt okay enough to go to bed without him there. As long as my bedroom door stayed open.

Although by now, I was questioning whether or not Jack would even come back so soon. I was doing just what he told me to do, staying home and for the most part, staying away from his family, so why would he feel the need to come back just days after the last time?

My stomach tumbled, though, just thinking about the next time he would show up. Was he out there right now? Or was he off doing his own thing? Part of me, a part I hated, hoped he would show up. Just so I'd be able to prove that I hadn't been making it up or too tired to tell the difference.

I immediately scolded myself for those thoughts. I _hated_ the thought of him anywhere near my family. Thoughts like that would pretty much ensure I didn't get any sleep that night, so I quickly fought to change the direction of my thoughts.

Curled up in bed, I kept my eyes open in the dim light, staring at the wall I faced. A trick I'd learned more recently when sleep didn't seem possible. Forcing my eyes to stay open until they couldn't anymore, and passed that point. I'd soon find each blink would last longer than the previous one, and before I even had a chance to worry, I'd be asleep.

Just like all the other times I'd had to resort to that tactic, it worked.

Thankfully, my dreams were an okay place that night. I dreamed about one particular day back not long after I'd first went to stay with Heather.

On one of the many day trips we'd taken, we went on a small hike in a really pretty area. Very wooded, and it made me feel like we were farther from civilization than we really were. I wasn't alone, though, so I was okay with it.

On our little hike, we came across the edge of a steep incline to a small river. Someone had tied a rope to the high branches, probably to be used to swing themselves into the water below.

Once thoroughly tested by Mike himself, much to our amusement, we were allowed to swing on it ourselves. No one quite felt like getting wet, so the boys would just swing around the tree before landing back on solid dirt.

I was quite hesitant to try it myself, despite how sturdy it seemed, until Mike talked me into it. Oddly enough, he was always the one urging me to try new things. Things I'd normally never try, but his insisting made it seem like a good idea to me.

So with enough talking, I eventually gripped the rope myself. Right above the knot toward the center of the rope, so my hands wouldn't slip. I wasn't sure if I could make it all the way around, so Mike offered to push me.

I was nervous so I followed his advice closely.

"Okay." Mike had smiled once I had a good grip, "Now don't let go. Hold on tight."

"I won't." I shook my head a little. He placed his hands on my back, and pushed. Though the trip around the tree wasn't that far, it was still pretty fun. Leaving me no choice but to laugh as he caught me, helping me to a stop.

The resulting smile on my face reached my eyes as my stomach had yet to catch up with me.

"Again?" He'd asked, and of course, I nodded. He chuckled, "Okay, hold on." I nodded again with another laugh. Pushing me the opposite direction this time ensured the rope didn't wrap around the tree, so it was just back and forth, but it was enough of a swing that that didn't really matter.

All night I dreamed about that day. One of the best days I'd had with them. Mike had even talked Heather into trying it, and that, in my opinion, was the best part. I loved seeing her have fun too.

I woke up the following morning wondering how on Earth I could ever have hated Mike. Even a little bit. For any reason. He was the type of guy that didn't mind playing with us kids. No matter what we were doing, and he often came up with the best ideas. Sometimes rather dangerous ideas, but even in the short time I'd stayed with them or even known him, I trusted him to keep us safe and not let us get hurt. It seemed kind of stupid of me to hate him for having a bad day, when I'd had plenty of them in my life.

I'd have to remember to apologize to him the next time I saw him. This dream, however, made me fully realize that being mad at Mike wasn't the reason I chose to come back here. I would have made this decision either way, and I knew that now. I couldn't even follow my own rules, and as disappointing as that was, I shouldn't have expected myself to. I'd broken every rule I'd set in place for myself the moment I met Alice.

I stretched deeply, yawning as I rolled over to face the still-open door across the room.

"Good morning, princess." Mikah was right in his usual spot, which surprised me. I was glad to see him after having to go to sleep the night before without him standing there.

"Did you hunt?" I asked, still cuddled under my blanket.

"I did." He confirmed, "I hope you don't mind?"

"Uh, no." I replied, "That keeps you from killing me."

He chuckled, "It's not only that that keeps me from killing you. A whole lot of it is willpower, princess."

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that?" I muttered.

"I didn't listen." He smiled.

"Good." I sighed, closing my eyes again. Just resting them for a moment.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked and I smiled a little, nodding.

"For once." I said, opening my eyes again, "I had a good dream."

"I'm glad." He sincerely meant that, "You needed it."

I couldn't argue with that. It did feel nice to sleep through the night again.

"So what do you want to do today?" Mikah asked as I sat up to stretch again. I hesitated for a yawn, thinking.

"Do we have a rope in the garage?" I smiled a little at his confused and still somehow suspicious smile. There were plenty of trees around here perfect for something like that.

There actually was a bunch of coiled rope in the garage. I wasn't worried about my family possibly needing it for something, so I told Mikah to grab it and follow me outside.

From there, I made Mikah climb the carefully selected tree to tie it to a branch high enough off the ground. I also had him knot it halfway down the length for easier grabbing, and knot it at the end, so I could grip it with my feet. Just to make it easier to hold on.

He pretty much got the gist of what I was doing right away, and went along with it easily. It was actually Alice that came up with an even better idea. Providing a pretty thick board with a hole drilled through the middle of it to tie at the end of the rope, so I could either stand on that, or sit on it. She not only didn't mind, but fully supported this idea.

And Mikah didn't mind in the least providing the push I needed, but he was a lot stronger than Mike was, so I went a lot farther on one push than I did before. Practically parallel to the ground, so having the board to stand on actually helped a ton. I held on tight, so that wasn't a concern, and it was a lot more fun.

So on top of my well rested night, I had a pretty good day as well. I'd spent from just after breakfast until just before a late lunch outside just getting dizzy. I'd have stayed outside longer if my hands weren't getting sore from gripping the rough rope for so long.

By the time I did go in, we'd gained an audience out back to watch. My shrieks would probably be concerning if my laughter hadn't given it away, so they knew I wasn't in any trouble.

It really was that simple. How easy it was to entertain me for hours sometimes even confused me. I honestly hoped they kept that rope hanging there for awhile.

Mikah caught me for the final time, and I accepted that. Breathless from my laughs, accepting his help in stepping down. He was smiling just as much as I was, maybe even more, and that caught my attention.

"What?" I asked him with a laugh, brushing my sore hands off on my jeans.

"Nothing." He replied, but his smile stayed.

" _What_?" I insisted as we started toward the porch.

"It's just nice seeing you having fun." He answered, "That's all."

"The boys and I did all kinds of stuff like that." I shrugged a little, "I learned that from Mike."

"He came up with some good ideas." Mikah nodded, and I nodded as well.

"All the time." I said, "He's good at that."

"Remember New York?" He asked, "How dead-set against having fun you used to be?" When he put it like that, it really was amazing. I'd forgotten about that.

"How do you remember that?" I asked as we ascended the steps and I made it to Esme's side.

"The newer things are easier to remember." He confirmed, "And the most important things tend to stick. Those times meant a lot to me." That made sense.

"Are you hungry?" Esme asked me, and I nodded.

"Starving." I replied easily with a small laugh.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, aside from the rain falling that evening. Before bed, I'd gotten my shower and was dressed in my pajamas. Sitting perched on my bedroom window sill, inspecting my sore palms.

If I'd had such a good day, what was bothering me? The last few days had been pretty good. Better than I even thought they'd be. What was so wrong that I had to feel this way?

I felt oddly lonely. Not exactly lonely, but it was about the same feeling. Like a homesickness, but for nowhere I could think of. I was home, and I couldn't be happier about that, but something was missing. Someone?

I looked over at the door, though, as Esme walked in.

"Ready for bed?" She asked me with a small smile. I nodded a little and stood up. I'd figure out whatever I needed to figure out tomorrow, I thought to myself.

Esme always tucked me into bed these days. Like she'd missed being able to do it, and truthfully, I'd missed it too. Kneeling up on the bed, I pulled my blanket to the side and scooted under.

"Where's Mikah?" I asked, laying back as Esme took the seat on the side of my bed.

"He'll be back soon." She assured me, and I frowned a little. He was out hunting again? Maybe my scent bothered him more than I knew, or more than he wanted to let on. If he needed to hunt, though, I'd be the last person complaining.

"Okay." I sighed, allowing that. She smiled a little as I paused for a yawn.

"Don't worry so much about him." She told me, "I know you like having him here."

"I know." I mumbled, "I do like having him here. He makes me feel safer." Her smile softened and she reached forward, smoothing my hair back. I sighed, "I think something's wrong."

"Why do you think that?" She asked.

"Just the way I feel." I answered, "I know you don't believe me, but I can tell the difference."

"I think.." She sighed, straightening the blanket over me, "That it's going to take a little while longer before things feel normal for you again." She had a point there, "After everything that's been going on lately, I think maybe you just need a little more time."

"Maybe." I allowed that thoughtfully.

"Mikah will be here when you wake up." She smiled again, "Get some sleep, sweetheart." I took a deep breath, sighing it out as I nodded a little. I needed to learn how to just trust them. Even if Mikah seemed to be the only one taking Carlisle's advice seriously. I knew Esme was taking his advice also, but that's only because she wanted to protect me.

Part of me felt, though, like Mikah was the only reason why Jack hadn't been back yet. Because Mikah was always there, Jack wouldn't even dare try coming back. Without Mikah, I felt vulnerable again. I knew full well I was relying on him too much, but I couldn't help it. I really couldn't.

"Carlisle and I are going hunting tonight." She informed me, which I appreciated, "We'll be back by morning. The others will be here if you need anything."

"Be careful." I replied, and she smiled a little.

"We'll be just fine, sweetheart."

"Leave the door open?" I requested quietly as she lightly kissed my forehead.

"Of course." She replied easily, which made me feel better.

"And the light in the hall on?" I added, and I knew why that request concerned her.

On top of my bedroom night light, I now needed extra light from the hallway when that had never happened before. Any darkness whatsoever now was not tolerable. My bedroom closet door had to be closed, as that held shadows at night.

If I could see darkness anywhere around me, I'd be nervous. As long as my bedroom door had to be open, there had to be no chance at darkness passed the door. That was just how it was. Especially if Mikah wasn't standing there beside the door to watch me.

"Of course." She agreed again, and I nodded once more. That didn't seem so hard for her to agree to. They'd be awake anyway.

"Thank you." I replied sincerely. I knew full well that eleven years old was a little old to still be afraid of the dark, which Zack reminded me of all the time, but I had my reasons and my fear wasn't going to be chased away by that knowledge.

Just as I asked, she left the door open for me and the hall light on. I appreciated that, as that was the only way I was allowing myself to fall asleep.

My dream that night was an odd one. Not really a bad one, but weird. A strange mix between everything of the last few days. What was weirdest about it, was the fact that remembering that brief meeting with Jack didn't scare me. I wasn't as afraid in my dream as I was when it actually happened.

I dreamed about the wedding, recalling the details I'd thought I'd forgotten. Things I never noticed I'd noticed that night during the reception. Everything seemed clearer now, more vivid to me while I slept than they were while I was living it. Smaller details, things I wouldn't normally have thought twice about stuck out now.

My dad and his family. My mom and Hunter, Heather and her bunch. People I knew, people I didn't know. All the people I'd met, ones I barely remembered meeting. The sights, sounds, smells. The lighting, dim and soft, the sounds of laughter and music. The scent of flowers and the fragrant night air. How sick I'd been hadn't dampened any of that for the part of my mind that picked all this up.

I dreamed about Jack and the things he told me, but only in passing. Carrying on, I dreamed about Heather and the boys, their visit the other day. Then back to Mikah and I on the porch the day before that, the day of the hot sauce mistake.

Everything had just sort of mashed together, so I really didn't recall feeling any real emotion while I slept when I woke up the following morning. I felt a little too warm, so I pushed the blanket halfway off of me as I took a deep, waking breath. Rubbing my eyes in an attempt to make some sort of sense of the dream, but quickly gave up.

I must have slept deeper than I thought, though, as it was taking me longer than it usually did for me to shake off the heavy fog of sleep. Glancing over between eye rubs, I noticed two things. One, Mikah wasn't there by the door where he usually was. Two, there _was_ someone standing beside my bed.

In mind-numbing fear, I looked up at Jack standing there beside my bed. Before I could even take a full breath with which to make a noise, my mouth was covered tightly and my head pinned to the pillow.

"Now," He spoke up, ignoring my struggle, "We established last time that making a scene doesn't help you." That totally didn't help the sobs I couldn't stop. The wide open door across the room only made this worse. _How_ was he doing this?

"All it does is piss me off, and you don't want that, do you?" He asked, and through my continued sobs, I shook my head. He smiled a little, "Good. They can't hear you anyway." He hesitantly uncovered my mouth, pulling his hand away. I did continue to sob, but didn't even try to cry out this time.

Slowly, carefully, I sat up in bed. Watching him as he watched me yet again.

"So guess what?" He smirked, "They left you alone." As if not believing what he told me, I looked toward the door again, "They've left you alone quite a few times."

"Please." My nearly silent voice trembled, "How are you here? _Please_ tell me."

He took a breath in, studying me. He was obviously considering telling me, so I didn't want to rush him.

"Maybe this coven just doesn't care about you as much as you thought." He finally replied, and I looked down, "I mean, after all. How could they? You're really nothing but a pain in the ass."

"I know that part." I mumbled, "But what.. How can they not hear you?"

He chuckled, "Refer to the answer I just gave you. Maybe they just choose not to. It's not my fault they don't feel like paying attention. It's not that they can't hear me. It's that they _won't_."

I closed my eyes tight, willing this all to just be a dream.

"You really thought you were worth something?" He chuckled again, "God you're dumber than I thought. Use your _head_." With an echoing sound, he lightly smacked me upside my head in three quick hits. As lightly as it was, it hurt. Badly. It felt, literally, like I'd just smacked my head against a solid boulder.

I reached up, trying to hold my pounding head, but he caught my face. His fingers on one side of my chin, his thumb on the other. Holding my face still in a solid concrete grip I had no hope of fighting.

"I told you." He barked, keeping me from doing so, "I've always told you. You're not worth anything to anybody. You never will be." I finally opened my eyes, staring into his crimson gaze.

I had no choice. I listened to him. Just like all the times before, I had no choice but to hear the things he was telling me, and in doing so, I remembered every single time he told me these things before.

That was a very painful thing to remember, because like he said. I'd been lying to myself.

He shoved me away, and I flopped backwards on the bed. Now covering my aching head, I curled up on my side. Hoping to protect myself against further pain. Either physical or emotional.

"I just wanted to see you." He went on, "And I figured since they didn't care enough to keep you safe, I could do that any time I wanted. I could literally do whatever I wanted to you right now, and they wouldn't even care." I tensed further, watching as he stood up. I hated when he used that voice. I knew what he was referring to, and as much as that scared me, I knew running would be useless.

"But I'm not that stupid." He sighed, staring down at me, "You're way too much fun alive. Why would I want to end that so soon?"

I couldn't form a reply if I wanted to. Trembling too hard to do much of anything else but curl into a tighter ball and hope he wasn't lying.

"Why are you here?" I asked, "I've been doing what you said."

"Like I said." He smirked, "I wanted to see you. Mostly to prove that I could." I frowned a little as his smirk faded into a light but equally intimidating glare, "And believe me. I didn't miss the fact that my sister was over here."

"So?"

" _So_." He replied sharply, "What part of stay the fuck away from my family did you not understand?"

"She came over here." I countered, "I didn't go over there."

He sighed, the sound ending in an aggravated growl as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Use your head. The fact that she knows anyone from this coven is more than enough to get her killed."

"Oh." I muttered, frowning as I thought about it. So he was saying that knowing them at all was enough to get her into trouble?

"That doesn't make sense." I said, "My family works with the humans every day. Not just her."

"She's more important than any fucking human out there." He snapped, and I flinched slightly, "She knows you. You know them. You know what they are. Do you get it?"

"I'd never tell anyone about them." I argued, "Especially not Heather, because I know it can get her into trouble."

"That doesn't matter." He was getting irritated, "Haven't you ever heard the expression 'guilty by association'?" I had, but I wasn't sure what it meant.

"So.." I mumbled, "I can't be around them at all?"

"Bingo." He replied, "Finally, you get it. Dumb ass."

"But that's not fair."

"What part of this entire fucking situation is fair?" He asked, his tone incredulous, "I thought you knew better than that. I mean, for fuck's sake. Even I have to admit that this whole fucking situation is really, _really_ fucked up."

"It _is_ fucked up." I muttered, actually agreeing with him for once.

"Right." He replied, "See, now you get it. Now we can get to the point. The point is, stay the fuck away from any humans you don't want dead. Yes?"

"I guess." I mumbled, sitting up again.

"So." He said, accepting that as an agreement, "Since I've got you here, I might as well remind you."

"I haven't forgotten." I grumbled. Whatever he was talking about, I hadn't forgotten it. I could tell him that with certainty.

"Well that's no fucking fun."

"Why's it gotta be fun for you?" I asked before I could think twice.

"Because your version of fun is boring as hell." He replied simply, "And I'm in charge here, remember?"

I looked over, jumping at the presence of someone new in the suddenly open window. He seemed older, about Jack's age physically, and definitely immortal as he glanced to me.

"Jack," He spoke, "We have to go. I told you before you went in here that you can't be taking too long." I frowned.

"Shut the fuck up." Jack barked at him, "You trying to give everything away?"

"If you don't want to give everything away," The stranger replied easily, "Then let's _go_."

"Give what away?" I asked, only gaining Jack's irritated glare in response. I decided then to shut up.

"It was _your_ idea to come here." The stranger spoke again, his eyes on Jack, "I don't want to die because you can't leave well enough alone. The leaders are due back any fucking minute, and the longer we stay here-"

"I'll be out in a goddamn minute." Jack snapped at him, "If you don't want to die, then I suggest you leave right fucking now." That seemed to do the trick. I'd have listened to Jack too if I was that guy.

As Jack looked to me next, though, I knew his okay mood had left with that stranger. He was mad now, probably because I felt the need to ask just now. Knowing he was angry now only scared me.

Before I could move away, he'd returned to my bedside and gotten a hold of my hair in his hand. I yelped, reaching up instinctively to grip his wrists in an attempt to ease my own pain. Wincing hard as I looked up at him. Of course, I couldn't budge his grip, but that didn't keep me from trying.

"I'll see you again soon." He assured me, yanking me further upright and right into his face, "And don't.. _Don't_ even fucking dare think I'll forget about you. They might not care enough to believe you, but they've got their own shitstorm coming."

He held my face so close to his, I could feel each of his words in his breath against my face. Nearly crushing his forehead to the left side of mine, I had nowhere to go, so I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to protect myself.

His grip only got tighter the longer he held my head there, his tension only rising. His grip was too tight, too painful. He was using too much force with me and I knew I was seconds from getting my head smashed in. I was in so much pain at that point, every thought through my head started to swim.

"God," He growled into my skin, "I hate you _so_ goddamn much." He pulled his face back just a bit, jerking my head back to look up at him and his smile shook me deeply. My eyes also swam with tears as I met his eyes. He could move me even easier now.

Before, it was only too easy for him to throw me around like I didn't weigh anything. Now that he'd been turned, that was even easier for him to do now. He jerked me back once again, only enough to hurt me and scare me even worse. Proven by the louder yelp, and few sobs that escaped.

It wasn't exactly a surprise that he was so much stronger now, but it really worried me that he could easily damage me now without even meaning to.

I couldn't speak if I tried, and more tears escaped. Sliding down my cheeks to land on his forearm beside my head. I felt like I couldn't breathe this way.

He continued to watch me. At one point, I did try to fight free, just because the pain was getting to be too much. That was only amusing to him, and only more painful for me. My sobs only got louder, though. I couldn't help it.

"Don't cry." He smirked, "I'll be back soon enough."

I was suddenly released, and I was alone. I sat there, frozen in the position he'd left me in. My left over struggling tension had allowed me to finally move my head forward like I needed to when I was released, but other than that, I was frozen. I hardly noticed my violent trembles, my breath and heart pounding painfully. I was stuck.

Even my sobs had paused for a moment.

Several seconds seemed to take years to pass, my heart racing violently as I struggled to make sense of what had just happened. My head hurt, both from where he'd had a hold of my hair and the side of my forehead where he'd held me against him. I wasn't sure what to think anymore.

"Princess?" Mikah was suddenly there in the doorway, and his sudden presence startled a yelp from me. The yelp wasn't even fully out before my desperate sobs started again. The emotion welled up too quickly for me to stop. Painfully ripping from me in a choked sob.

"Hey." He murmured, worry in his soft tone as he stepped further into the room. He was suddenly kneeled in the same spot Jack had just been standing moments before, and one glance at him told me he was concerned. Very concerned.

"Princess," He said, "What happened?"

I couldn't help it. I didn't even care what he was talking about. Leaning forward, I hugged onto him, and I cried. I knew this had to bother him, but he never let on.

"What happened to her?" Emmett's voice in the doorway didn't phase me.

"Think you can come over here and take my place?" Mikah asked him, but I just squeezed him tighter.

"Please don't leave me." I bawled against his shoulder, despair stealing the breath from me, "Don't leave me again. _Please_ don't leave me again." I knew myself enough to know that this emotion was real, and I had a feeling that he was beginning to get that as well.

I was afraid. Terrified at the thought that I'd been left alone several times during the last two days, and the sense of security I'd hesitantly built was just torn away from me. Mikah leaving meant anything could have happened to me during the last few days, and he would have just let it happen.

With his other arm, he reached over and lightly stroked the back of my head. He was obviously trying to be comforting, but I just cried harder at the reminder of the pain I had there. He didn't understand. Nobody understood, and it was such a lonely, heartbreaking feeling to experience.

"Now what happened?" Jasper was home, as he and Alice both entered the room.

"I think she just found out I've been leaving at night." He replied simply, "And she's not happy. She woke up like this."

"And she hasn't kicked you out yet?" Alice asked.

"No." He mumbled, surprised, "She doesn't even seem that mad." Maybe I just hadn't expressed myself clearly, but I wasn't focused on that currently.

"Leandra." Jasper was kneeled beside the bed, so I had to turn my head a little to look at him. Sobs still tearing free as I did so, "You know he can't stay with you every second of every day." I fought it, but Jasper insisted that I let go of Mikah. Urging my grip free from around his neck.

"I know." I cried, "But you don't know-"

"If he hadn't stayed out of the room this morning, you'd never have known. We were all right here."

"That doesn't matter!" I bawled so hard my voice broke again, "It doesn't. Mikah was supposed to be there. He said he'd be there, so he's supposed to be there! He wasn't there! He left me alone! You all left me alone!" I was literally bawling, nearly howling in my cries but that didn't mean anything. Steps away from losing my breath again like I did the day of the wedding, and I couldn't stop it.

"Listen." He insisted calmly, and though I continued to cry, I stopped talking, "There are going to be times when you can't be watched twenty-four-seven. As much as-"

" _No_." I insisted this time, but that didn't help any.

"As much as I know that bothers you, it's just how it is." He went on, ignoring my interruption, "I'm sorry. Mikah needed to leave you for just a little while. He was being responsible-"

This time, I cut him off by hugging him. I was done arguing for right then, considering none of them were hearing the things I said.

Leaning forward, practically falling off the bed to the floor in front of him, I wrapped my arms around his neck. That was something I knew he wasn't expecting, given the way he tensed, but he accepted it nonetheless. I hadn't done that yet, but I wasn't really thinking about that.

"Please.." I cried into his shoulder this time, "Please, please, please.." I was so scared, "I'm _so_ sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me again." He was obviously confused, as I wasn't even making much sense to myself.

"Alright." He sighed, "Okay." He wasn't mad at me for hugging onto him. Thankfully. He even returned it to a point. Staying kneeled there while I clung to him, and slowly starting to assist me in calming down. I knew giving me help to calm down when I was upset was something he only did if I wasn't willing to do it on my own, which was happening pretty frequently lately.

"Please." He said this time, "Tell me what happened." I couldn't figure out what he meant, until he clarified, "How'd you bruise yourself?"

It took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about, but when I did, I still refused to answer him. Why bother? It never made any difference, and just made me mad when they didn't believe me. When Jack held me too tightly to himself, he must have left behind another bruise. On my face this time, clearly seen by everyone who looked at me. He thought I bruised my face on my own. He thought _I_ did that.

"I really didn't think she'd be this upset." Mikah mumbled, "I thought she'd be okay. She seemed to be doing really good."

"She'll be alright." Alice assured him.

"Thing is," Emmett's voice back in the doorway had me glancing at him, "I've never seen her like this before."

"Right?" Mikah agreed with him.

"I have." Carlisle's approach from behind Emmett had him turn, "I have seen her act this way, and that is exactly why I know not to doubt her."

Hesitantly, I released my hold on Jasper as Carlisle stepped into the room. I sniffled hard, struggling to compose myself in some way as I stood back up and sat back down on my bed. I didn't want to interrupt anybody while they were talking about me like I wasn't here, so I stayed quiet.

Esme followed Carlisle into the room, and I couldn't believe how relieved I was that they were both home. She came to my side, taking my face between her hands and inspecting the left side of my head. The bruise must have been worse than I thought if she was this worried about me.

Carlisle took the open spot I'd just vacated as Jasper stood up.

"Honey," Esme spoke gently, "What happened?" I didn't answer, watching Carlisle and the others through slower, but continued tears.

"When?" Mikah asked, frowning a little, "I've never seen her like this as long as I've known her."

"That is hardly the point." Carlisle replied almost sharply, "The point is that I specifically instructed to keep her in your sight, including during the night, which you refused to do. The point is that you've been placing her directly in harms way by refusing to do so."

No one argued this time, and I could see why. He wasn't happy. I'd never seen him unhappy at the others like this. For once, I wasn't the one in trouble. For once, they were and I wasn't exactly happy about this either. I sniffled hard again, forcing myself to breathe, but my trembles stayed. With Esme with me, it made it slightly easier.

"It isn't the point that she never would have known on her own." Carlisle went on at them, "The point is that she relied on you. She trusted you all to keep her safe, and all you've done is show her that she was wrong in choosing to trust you. All you've done is let her down, and deeply disappoint me at the same time."

I hadn't thought about it like that, but he was right. I hated realizing that. The silence following his words dragged on for what seemed like a year, until Carlisle continued.

"I cannot blame Mikah." He murmured, "It is true that he was being responsible, but where he left off, one of you should have stepped up. That, I think, is the very least Leandra could have asked for. She wasn't asking much of you."

"Seriously, though." Mikah frowned a little, "When was she like this?" Carlisle glanced over at him. He wasn't questioning his judgement. Only curious. Even I knew that.

"Several months before she met you." He answered, "The very first time she allowed herself to trust us enough to reach out when she needed help."

"California." Alice finally understood.

"She took a very big risk that day." Carlisle went on, "And the common link between her behavior the day I found her, and her behavior just a few days ago was one specific person."

Considering it wasn't possible for me to have seen Ken a few days ago, Jack was the one he was talking about.

"By the time we got her home, she'd calmed down significantly, so it doesn't surprise me that none of you remember her this way."

"She never acted like this the time she talked to him on the phone, though." Emmett pointed out.

"Hearing his voice and seeing him in person are two very different things." He replied easily, "The fact that she's provided proof tells me she wasn't mistaken. I don't believe that what she saw was a hallucination. I don't believe she was tired. I do believe that she truly had interaction with him. However that happened, she was telling the truth because that behavior doesn't lie."

"Her visions are real to her." Alice argued lightly, "The day she saw that guy at the mall is proof enough."

"Did she ever produce bruises from that vision?" Carlisle asked, and I knew she couldn't argue with that, "The shape of the bruise that day tells me there's very, very slim chance she could have done that herself. No matter how hard she tried, if she were to try." Was he seriously the only one paying attention? "I don't believe she would do that herself. I don't believe she'd do this to herself." He gestured to me, "I believe we got extremely lucky that night and by refusing to believe her, you've all been extremely careless and chose not to recognize the threat she tried so hard to warn us of. A threat that was very real today as well."

"You're saying he was here again today?" Mikah asked, standing up.

"Look at her." Carlisle insisted, "Tell me the cause is only in her mind." He was defending me. As much as I didn't like the fact that the others were the ones in trouble, I felt just a little better knowing I had him on my side.

"Is that true?" Emmett asked me, but yet again, I was afraid to answer. I didn't want to fight with them. I knew confirming Carlisle's words would just create more doubt.

Alice's gaze found the floor, her brow creased as she carefully considered what he was saying. I watched her specifically, needing to see the moment of realization.

"It just doesn't make any sense to me."

"It shouldn't need to." Carlisle replied quickly, "How many times have we asked her to blindly trust the things we tell her? She sees no evidence for the things we say, yet, she believes them. Because we gave her no reason not to. Now all she's asking of us is nothing more than what we've repeatedly asked of her."

Without another word, Alice turned and walked away. Surprised now, I watched after her as Jasper followed. I hoped Alice wasn't mad at me, and I hoped Jasper could calm her down. Esme sighed, probably not liking the fact that Alice was upset, but she clearly didn't want to leave me either.

Emmett stepped aside, letting them pass. Worried, I looked up at Carlisle.

"Is she mad at me?" I had to ask.

"No." He replied, "She isn't angry at you, Leandra. I imagine that what I had to say was very hard for her to hear."

"It wasn't easy." Mikah admitted, "But you're right, Carlisle." He seemed to be taking this harder than Alice did, but had yet to move. I almost wished I was the one in the wrong. I hated seeing him like this. He glanced over at me, "I'm so sorry, princess."

"It's okay." I mumbled easily, hoping it helped.

"No it's not." He argued, "I.."

Trailing off, he didn't continue that. Instead, he turned and walked away as well. Following the same path Alice took. This time, Emmett left as well. Rounding to follow Mikah from the room. Leaving the three of us alone in the room.

Carlisle sighed this time, and I looked back up at him as he finally looked at me. Carefully sitting to my other side, he gently reached out and inspected the area I knew I was bruised. Esme let me turn a little to face him when looking over was a little uncomfortable.

"Are you hurt?" He asked anyway, "Any dizziness? Headache?"

"Are you going to leave too?" I asked instead, "It's okay if you want to."

"No." He replied again, "They'd probably appreciate their space right now. Any dizziness?" He repeated his question, so I just shook my head. My head did ache, but that could have easily been caused by my emotion just now.

"Am I right in assuming he was here this morning?" He asked, and I nodded this time. Fighting back more emotion as hard as I could. I really could do without more crying. He sighed, speaking again, "This is getting out of hand."

"How do you believe me?" I asked, "When nobody else does? I think Esme might a little, but you.. You believe me. What if I was wrong? What if they're right?" At my question, Esme gently smoothed my hair in the back, but I winced. Ducking a little as the motion brought me pain. Carlisle's further concern was instant, glancing toward Esme, but she was already on it.

At my reaction, Esme found the need to gently part my hair in the back, nearest the back of my neck where Jack's fist had been pressed. She sighed again, heavier this time.

"Back here too." She informed him, and that surprised me a little. I wasn't surprised, however, when Carlisle had me turn my back to him so he could take a look.

"This was what I was trying to avoid, Leandra." He murmured, inspecting my neck, "Things lately have been indescribably hard on you. Hard enough without you having to doubt yourself. Their doubt could do nothing but create your own." I looked down, "As for your first question, it's effortless. It's effortless to believe you, because you've given me no reason not to."

I was quiet for a moment, keeping my eyes down. Trying to wrap my mind around this. There wasn't much I could say to that, unfortunately.

"But what about the others?" I frowned a little, "I've never given them a reason to either, but it's so easy for them. Maybe he's right." I finally whimpered, "Maybe they just don't care enough."

"That," He immediately said, "Is not true."

"It has to be." I sniffled, "Why else would they let him in?"

"They would never _allow_ anything like this to happen." He corrected me, but his tone eased as he went on, "Generally speaking, they're still relatively new to this life. To them, it's very difficult to find truth in something they've never experienced before. Without proof, or a reason to believe, it's hard for them to imagine that anything like this is possible." I nodded a little, following so far, "I've seen and experienced things I never before believed were possible. Enough gifts and abilities out there that I know enough to never believe anymore that anything is impossible."

"So you think.." I muttered, trying to make some sense of it, "That he's using an ability?"

"I see no other explanation." He replied easily, "The evidence, what little there is, doesn't lie. Neither do you."

That reminded me, and with a sniffle in, I turned to look back at him.

"It was somebody else." I told him, "Somebody else was with him today." That seemed to concern him, so I figured I should keep explaining, "When Jack was in here too long, the other guy showed up at the window to tell him to hurry up. Like he was worried. Like he didn't like him taking too long, but I don't know why he'd care so much."

That obviously got him thinking, but I couldn't help it. Yet again, I started to cry. I wasn't exactly sure what caused it this time, but either way, I couldn't handle this amount of pain without crying.

"I don't know what to do." I admitted through tears as I turned forward to face Esme again, "I don't.. I don't know what to do. He'll be back, but if nobody believes me, I don't know what to do." I knew I was making no sense, but I could only hope they understood. Given the way Esme hugged me, she did. I squeezed my eyes shut, needing this hug more than she knew.

Carlisle was right. They'd been there when they first found me in California. Carlisle first found me like this, and it bothered me to be this way again, but I couldn't change it. Both he and Esme had seen me like this. This shaken up, this fearful and confused. Jack had the ability to do that to me without even trying, and no matter what, that'd never go away.

"We'll protect you." Carlisle told me firmly, but I couldn't reply. How? Like Jasper said. There would be times when they couldn't watch me all the time.

"Please.." I cried against Esme's shoulder. I didn't know what to ask for. They clearly didn't know what to say either, just giving me a chance to cry. That was really all I needed anyway, so I wasn't complaining. I didn't need promises that I didn't believe. I didn't need assurances that everything would be okay, because I doubted anything would ever be okay.

They just sat with me, which was exactly the right thing to do. Considering I was crying too hard to see anything myself, it made me feel better to know someone else was there. It was so odd to consider the situation.

Just a few weeks ago, I was running away from this same situation. Relying too much on Carlisle was so out of the question to me, because I couldn't risk the pain when I lost him. Now, it seemed like I had nobody else in the world. Like I had nobody but Carlisle and Esme.

I couldn't keep that kind of crying up for long, despite the emotion still turning my stomach. I did eventually calm down enough to breathe with Esme's arms around me.

Needless to say, I felt like complete crap the entire day.

Something about seeing Jack again so soon after the last time just made me feel worse. It changed something in me, and all I could think about was the things he told me. I argued with those thoughts, the words he told me, but no matter how firmly I wanted to deny them, they were always stronger.

Alice and Jasper did return, but Mikah stayed gone. I wasn't too focused on that, though. Allowing myself to focus on that would only make me feel even worse. I was going through my own thing right then. Mikah could go through his own stuff.

I chose not to spend any time in my room alone. Even with the door wide open, I wasn't safe in there.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett was really the only one trying to pull me out of myself. That wasn't odd for him, but I couldn't afford to let him do that. My numbness was for my own protection, and it really helped me gain perspective I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Jack had been there. I'd been right there in his hands again. Just thinking about that changed my emotions around on me in a really strange way. One moment, I wanted to be afraid. I wanted to be scared, like my instincts told me to be. The next moment, a freezing cold, hollow feeling covered that instinctive fear until it was gone. Like placing ice over a painful bruise. No, not ice. I was colder than ice.

The evening seemed to approach way too fast, and before I even knew it, I was urged to try to get some sleep. I was so far from wanting to sleep, but I knew I couldn't fight it for long. Alice and Jasper finally descended the stairs right as Esme was attempting to get me to finally eat something.

I should have eaten. I was hungry, but I just couldn't make myself focus on that long enough to give in to her requests. I wasn't there right then, and she seemed to understand that. I just sat there, cross-legged on the couch with my hands tucked under my knees. Staring at the floor in front of the TV, but not seeing the carpet. Now and then blinking a stray tear loose, but other than that, my emotion kept itself still.

Part of me, the part of me that was still able to focus on something beside the memory of Jack's words, wished I was crazy. I wished all of this hadn't been real, like Alice wanted it to be. I wished so much that I was only seeing things.

I felt so cold. I hated the cold, because it wanted to remind me of even worse memories. Memories that to me, still had the possibility of coming true, but I couldn't exactly help that. My numbness was getting too hard to handle. Affecting even my breathing now and then. Like I just couldn't bear taking another breath, but I had no choice. It was involuntary.

The darkness I struggled with so often before was still there. It had been resting the entire time I thought it was gone, but now it was back. Just as strong as it always was, and I was back to fighting that.

"Honey?" Esme was seated beside me, and I finally seemed to notice that. With a breath in, I finally tore my gaze away from the carpet across the room to look over at her. Just doing so was enough to make me feel again, and I finally noticed how I shivered again. This time, how cold I felt actually felt physical.

Her concern was enough to thaw me out just a bit. Just enough for me to notice things again. I didn't like worrying her. I hated it.

"I'm cold." I finally admitted quietly, and she reached up, gently placing her palm against my forehead.

"She speaks." Emmett commented, probably trying to joke, but I was having a hard time seeing the humor.

I must have actually been cold, because she suggested that I take a bath. I wasn't against the idea, though. It actually sounded really nice. I just wanted to warm up, as being this cold for this long was very uncomfortable.

I sat there, chest deep in soapy water behind the closed curtain. Only slightly embarrassed because for once, I wasn't in the bathroom alone. I hadn't exactly realized how far "never let her out of your sight" would go, but then again, I wasn't the best at thinking straight right then.

"Leandra," Alice spoke from where she stood guard back by the door, "I know. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you from the start." This was really the first time we'd spoken since that morning.

I didn't reply right away. Unsure for a moment. I had to really think about how to reply, since my thoughts were still partially frozen. She was feeling bad for not believing me.

"I'm not mad." I finally mumbled, my quiet voice echoing in the quiet bathroom, "It just bothers me that you would rather think I'm crazy than believe me." I sniffled a little, flattening a group of bubbles with my hands, "It'd be better if I was, so I don't blame you."

"It's not that." She replied quietly, "Leandra, I really, really wanted this to be something simple."

"I know." I sighed, "Me too, but it's not. I'm sorry if I make your life harder."

"No," I heard the frown in her voice, "I wasn't meaning that I wanted it simple for us. I wanted it to be simple for you. If it was just a vision, I could help you with that. If it was just a case of an overactive mind, we all could help you with that."

"But it wasn't." I understood a little better now, "He was there."

"And that scares the living hell out of me." She murmured.

"Me too." I muttered, trying to hide the emotion in my tone, "I just want everything to be okay again. I just want okay again. That's all I want. Why can't I have that?"

She didn't reply, and I could understand why. She didn't know the answer to that, and truthfully, neither did I. I had no idea what I'd ever done to make everything so hard. Not just recently, but before I left to live with Heather.

The moment I remembered everything that was to come, it all just started caving in, and it seemed like no matter what I did now, things would only get harder. One thing after another, and I really started to realize, for the first time all day, just how much it took out of me just to keep breathing.

"I can't stop thinking about the things he told me." I spoke again, "Today. I keep hearing the way he said those things, and no matter what I do, it won't stop. It's like he's still here, still talking to me." I hesitated, "It's like he never left."

"Leandra, I promise." Alice finally murmured, "He's never getting near you again."

"You've said that before." I mumbled quietly, letting her know for the first time that I would probably never believe a word she said again.

That was the hardest thing for me to do.

I felt a little warmer by the time I managed to leave the bathroom. I still felt shaky, but no longer trembling. I found Esme's side, sitting and curling up against her as she placed her arm around me.

Mikah had finally returned, standing across the room in the doorway outside. Jasper stood talking to him quietly, but neither of them looked like they were doing that well.

Mikah glanced to me as I watched him, but he looked back down immediately. He was clearly still having a difficult time with what happened today, but he really wasn't the only one. He'd really let me down over the last few days, and that was hard for me to handle.

"Are you tired, sweetheart?" Esme asked, probably prompted by my yawn.

"No." I muttered immediately. I wasn't about to go to bed when I trusted no one to watch me.

She sighed, "Okay." She smoothed my damp hair, no doubt knowing exactly what was wrong. It didn't take a genius to figure it out, and usually, Esme was pretty understanding when it came to how I was feeling.

That was the first night I spent sleeping on the couch. That was the absolute only place I would even dare to let my guard down enough to snooze. Knowing I was most watched right where I was, I eventually did allow myself to lay to the side, curling into a small ball.

Once I laid down, it was inevitable. They let me stay there, knowing I was actually right this time. I wasn't asking for much. Just a place to sleep where I felt safer than I felt in my room.

 **A/N: Hey, guys. I'm really sorry this took so freakin' long. I really haven't been able to work on this as much as I wanted to, because I've been so busy. (By busy, I mean sleeping- I've been _SO_ exhausted lately. (Thank you baby KNeu. -_-)) And I think my stalker has finally taken the hint, but I won't count on that too much. I can only hope he finds someone more interesting. It's been a learning experience for all.  
 _Okay, nobody cares._  
BUT! I finally dragged my butt on here and got it done. Heck yeah! I can only hope, though, that it was worth the loooong wait. I really hope there aren't any mistakes or whatnot in here, and if there are, please overlook them.  
THANK YOU! To those that left their wonderful reviews on last chapter! I can't even begin to tell you how much I love reading them!  
I do, however, sense the next chapter taking a more recognizable shape, so that should make it a little easier to get out sooner. I really hope I get a little bit of energy back soon because being this tired all. The. Time. Really sucks.  
Until Eight, my friends!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

I grunted a little, pushing myself up from where I laid face-down on the couch. Sleeping on this thing was really not the same as sleeping in a bed, but I dealt with it.

Three nights in a row now, I'd spent no more than thirty seconds in my room at a time. I was going to have to make new arrangements soon, though. This was really starting to suck.

Oddly, the room was crowded around me, but I didn't mind that. Emmett had been lucky enough to take the open spot at my feet, Rose seated on the armrest next to him. Bitter as always. Mikah was in his usual spot in the open doorway outside, watching the yard with his back to me.

Jasper and Alice both stood back near him, watching me. Esme stood up as soon as I moved to get up, no doubt off to go make me something to eat since I was in the beginnings of eating normally again. Carlisle kept his seat in the chair.

"She lives." Emmett commented, "You were out cold, shorty." I grumbled something about shutting up as I sat myself upright, but even I didn't understand it. The blanket I'd been using the night before was now laid across the back of the couch. I had no doubt I'd kicked it to the floor and Esme had picked it up for me.

I wasn't much better than I was the other day, but like Emmett pointed out, I was alive. As out cold as I had just been, my eyes felt tired. I stretched, whimpering lightly as my back popped audibly.

"Good one." Emmett chuckled, and I couldn't hide the small smile I gave in response.

"Why's everyone out here?" I wondered out loud, looking to Carlisle. Normally, it was one or two keeping an eye on me, as they didn't want to risk waking me up.

"Cole arrived early this morning." Carlisle replied, "He suggested extra surveillance on you for a little while."

"Oh." I muttered, "Cole's here?" I liked Cole. It seemed like forever since I'd last seen him. Even if he had been the one that scared the hell out of me in New York, knowing now what I didn't know then, he hadn't meant any harm.

"Not currently," Carlisle replied, "But he'll be back later." I nodded a little, accepting that. I didn't feel so bad for missing him while he was here by sleeping if he was coming back.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, and I shrugged a little.

"My head still hurts." The headache I'd had had never left, and that concerned him. Of course he'd checked me over, and he was pretty certain that nothing was wrong with me physically, but this headache was really starting to bug me. It wasn't anything unbearable, but the fact that it stayed around this long just grated on my nerves in the worst way.

"I worry that you're not getting the restful sleep you require." He admitted, and I sighed. Despite having slept heavily the night before, I knew was probably right, as he knew more about stuff like this than I did, but I refused to agree.

"Why don't you sleep?" Surprisingly, I'd never asked that question before.

"That's a very complicated answer." Carlisle replied.

"Long story short," Emmett spoke up again and I looked over at him, "Your brain and body needs it, our brains and bodies don't."

"Why not?" I frowned a little.

"While you sleep, things in here," Emmett lightly nudged my head, "Fix themselves, along with everything else in your body. We don't need to fix anything, so why bother sleeping?"

"Oh." I muttered, actually grateful for the simple answer.

"We just don't need to, so we don't sleep." He added, and I nodded a little, but I looked over at Carlisle.

"What's the difference between plain sleep, and restful sleep?" I'd heard this concern of his before.

"When you get the kind of sleep you require," He replied, "It fixes those things. As Emmett pointed out. When you don't, it hinders your body's ability to repair itself."

"But I'm not broken." I argued, "Why does it need to repair itself?"

"That's the complicated part." Emmett muttered.

"Oh." I repeated. Meaning, they didn't want to even try explaining it to me because I probably wouldn't understand anyway. I spoke again, "So what's the difference?"

"The sleep you say is plain sleep," Emmett would answer this one too, "Isn't the restorative sleep you need to function without feeling tired. The deeper sleep, I guess the sleep you're getting when you dream, is the kind of sleep you need."

"Oh." I understood that one. I didn't remember dreaming at all the night before, or at all the last few days, so I could definitely understand what he was meaning with that.

"Plain sleep is alright," Emmett went on, "But that dreaming, deeper sleep is best." I nodded again, understanding a little more. He continued, "There's a lot of different things that go along with that, but bottom line, you don't get that deeper sleep while you're out here."

"Yeah." I had to agree with that part. At least I knew now why I always woke up feeling tired lately.

"I still say we should go with the idea I brought up last night." Emmett muttered, looking to Carlisle.

"What idea?" I asked, looking over at him.

"You hate sleeping in your room, right?" He asked, and I shrugged a little. It wasn't exactly a secret, "What about having your friends over for a sleep over?"

"No." I immediately said before he was even fully finished speaking, "We can't do that."

"I thought you got along with-"

"I do." I said, "But no."

"Why not?" He asked, confused now.

"Because." I mumbled, standing up. The standard answer. I didn't want to tell them my reasons. Since Jack's latest visit, there were a lot of things I wouldn't tell them. I knew Carlisle or Esme could get the answer from me later on if they needed to, but I refused to answer any of the others' questions.

I made my way up the hall to the bathroom, fully expecting Alice's following me this time. It'd become routine. Since there was only one way in and out of that room, though, she figured I could at least have privacy in the bathroom while she kept watch outside in the hall. I was alright with that, because I had noticed as well that there was only one way in and out of this room.

I had yet to really make up with any of them, and I knew for a fact that I wasn't the only one to have noticed that. I hardly spoke a word to Mikah anymore, and when I did, it was a miracle if he replied.

Jasper was one I had yet to speak to at all. He was even more silent than Mikah was, both of them on the same page. Alice attempted to talk to me now and then, and though I did reply, it really was nowhere near the same.

Emmett was really the only one of them that tried the 'pretend it never happened' approach, and though I didn't really blame him, his approach had yet to work. When it came to important subjects, like how I was feeling or details about Jack's last visit, they were learning that it was best to let either Carlisle or Esme approach the subject. Carlisle more than Esme, considering I'd been confident from the start that Carlisle fully believed me. Without a doubt, he'd believed me from the start.

If anyone else attempted to ask, they'd get nothing. I simply refused to talk to them about anything that didn't involve the weather or what I thought of whatever was on TV right then. Sometimes not even then.

I wasn't sure how long I'd hold these feelings of contempt, but I knew this time that I was in the right. They couldn't blame me for how I felt, and I knew that. That knowledge would almost certainly make this solid wall I hid behind ten times stronger.

Despite knowing I was in the right, it bothered me. A lot. I didn't like being at odds with anyone, much less my family. I didn't want it to be like this. Somehow, I had to decide what was more important. Being right, or refusing to let something like Jack come between me and them?

Thinking about it was one thing, though. Actually choosing to let it go was a whole different thing. It was much easier said than done, but then again, who was he to take this from me?

I'd thought about this a lot the last couple of days. It had only been a little over a week since the wedding, and it felt like years to me. So much had happened in such a short time, I could hardly believe it.

Once I was done, I left the bathroom, hardly looking at Alice standing there. Taking the hint, once I'd made it to the kitchen and was in view of Esme, Alice left. Immediately, Esme noticed my mood.

"Are you okay, honey?" She asked as I sighed, and at first, I didn't know how to answer. I wasn't okay, and she knew that, which was why she asked.

"I don't know." I said instead, "I feel weird."

"In what way?"

"I didn't want this." I mumbled, "I just wanted.." I trailed off with another sigh, shaking my head. I kept my eyes down as I thought of a different direction, "Everything feels wrong. Everything is wrong. Just.. _Please_ tell me I didn't screw everything up."

"No, honey." She replied, "You didn't screw anything up."

"It feels like it." I admitted, "Nothing's been the same since I've been back. I think.. To me, it's like.. When I remembered everything.. Everything changed. I changed, you guys changed. I don't think the same way I thought before. I don't see things the same way I saw them before. Everything's different."

She smiled sadly, "Sweetie, I know it seems like everything changed that day, but all that day did was change your perspective on things."

"What do you mean?" I frowned a little, not understanding.

"Everything that happened that day ultimately led to what I'd call your turning point."

"Turning point?" I asked.

"The day you learned how to make your own decisions was your turning point." She explained, "Something in you changed, or turned, but it's nothing to be worried about. You did so much learning while you were gone, and that changes how you see things now. It opened your eyes, so to speak. In a way you weren't prepared for."

"If it's nothing to be worried about," I mumbled, "Why does it bother me so much?"

"Because you see things now in a way you never did before." She replied, "You have a difference view of the things around you, and that unsettles you. Everything that's happened since you've been home has only made that harder, I think. That's why you think so much has changed. Because you have."

"It doesn't feel like I have." I sighed, "I just feel sick most of the time."

"I'm hoping that'll ease when things start settling down." She nodded a little, "In the meantime, I think we need to figure out a different sleeping arrangement for you."

"I can't sleep in my room anymore." That was my standard answer.

"I know." She nodded a little, "That's why I think you should take one of our rooms instead."

"I can't do that either." I argued, "How do I know anyone will watch me? How do I know they won't just walk away again?"

"That's the problem." She allowed with a sigh of her own, "While your reluctance to trust is definitely understandable, I'm not comfortable letting you continue sleeping on the couch."

"Am I in the way?"

"No." She replied, "Definitely not. I just worry. You've been doing so well with sleeping during the night, and it bothers me to see you going back to not getting the rest you require."

"I can't." I mumbled after a moment, "I can't sleep somewhere I know nobody's gonna watch me."

"They understand now, sweetie."

"They're just saying that so Carlisle won't be mad at them anymore." I argued, "They won't watch me." I was getting upset at just the thought of trying to trust them. That was how I knew I couldn't just get over this.

"What if I promised to be the one to watch you?" She asked, and I hesitated. I couldn't exactly argue with that one, because it hadn't been her to let me down.

"Would you be willing to try that?" She asked when I didn't reply.

I really thought about it. It was so incredibly hard to consider Esme strong enough to protect me, because she was such a soft-spoken person. It wasn't that I doubted her strength, because she was a strong person too, but could she possibly be stronger than Jack if he were to disregard her presence?

Then I had to think about that, too. If he were to disregard her presence anyway, and show up while she was the only one there, I hated to think about what could possibly happen. She was offering to protect me while I slept, but did she really know what that could mean? She didn't understand.

"I'm worried." I admitted after a moment of thought, "Whenever he shows up, nobody can hear anything anyone says in the room. Even with the door wide open, like last time. What if he shows up?"

She smiled a little, catching on.

"I can protect myself, sweetheart." She assured me, "I might not look like much, but I can be pretty tough." I couldn't help smiling a little. The way she assured me left little doubt that she was confident.

"It would be _really_ stupid of Jack-ass to show up while Esme is anywhere around to see him." I looked over, watching Emmett's approach, "I think he knows that since he hasn't bothered to show his face to any of us. She's got it handled. Especially when it comes to Shorty Guard Duty." He was confident too.

"All we're asking is to just try it." Esme added, "If you're still not comfortable after a night or two, then you can go back to the couch while we figure something else out."

"What room, though?" I frowned, "My room is the only extra room in the house, isn't it?"

"You can sleep in the garage." Emmett offered, and oddly enough, that made me laugh. A little one, but a laugh nonetheless. That reminded me very much of easier times, and I deeply appreciated that reminder.

"Deal." I replied sarcastically.

"For the time being," Esme took my attention again, "You can take our room."

"Your room?" I asked, surprised. I hadn't spent much time in Esme and Carlisle's room, but from what I'd seen of it, it was pretty big. At least two of my rooms put together, and my room was pretty decent sized as it was. I wasn't sure about taking up their room. That was their space.

"We don't mind sharing in the slightest."

"But that's your room." I muttered.

"We don't mind." She repeated with a small smile, "All we're asking it just give it a try, sweetie. If this works, and it helps you, we'll figure out a more permanent arrangement." That didn't sound so bad. I could at least try it.

"You'll watch me?" I asked hesitantly, and she knew by my tone that I was considering it.

"You'll be watched every second you want to be." She confirmed, and I sighed.

I had to really think about it, and for a few minutes, I was back in that thoughtful zoning out sort of mentality. There were definite plus sides to this as well as down sides. I had my doubts, but I knew that this could potentially solve all the problems between me and the family.

If I allowed myself to trust Esme enough to watch me while I was in their room, she'd probably take the steps needed to allow me to trust the others again as well. I knew full well that any distance between family members bothered her just as much as it bothered me.

Maybe allowing me to wake up to find someone else watching me, or having more than just Esme watch me. The second would be the best case, since it'd solve two worries at the same time.

"Okay." I finally muttered, but even with all my thinking about it, I was scared.

It wasn't that I didn't trust Esme to watch me, as she'd done it many times before in the beginning, but I didn't trust sleeping anywhere except the centralized room in the house. This way, I'd be more secluded again, even with Esme watching me.

I was surprised, however. I had expected maybe my bed be moved into their room, but since this was just a test, I'd get to sleep in their bed. It was about the size my bed was in New York, so I'd have a lot more room to move around if I had to.

And instead of standing back by the door, Esme chose to sit with me. I didn't mind that one bit, because it made me feel even safer.

I laid there for a few minutes, just looking around myself. It was silent in here. I couldn't hear any of the conversations I knew were going on downstairs, but the large windows on the other side of the room were being pelted quietly with rain. It wasn't loud, but a soft rhythm. I wasn't sure if it was that that eased me, or if it was Esme sitting silently next to me.

"Promise you won't leave?" I requested quietly, finally breaking the silence as I looked over at her. She smiled a little at me, smoothing my hair back.

"I promise." She assured me, "I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Do the windows open?" I asked, looking to the windows again.

"They do." She answered, "But not enough for anyone to be able to get in. They're more for decoration." That helped a lot, but I had to confess.

"I'm so scared." I mumbled, emotion slightly thickening my tone, "I mean, when I was out there, they had no choice but to watch me. Please don't leave."

"I'm not going anywhere." She assured me again, "I promise." Unable to help it, I yawned. Knowing I'd probably have no choice but to sleep soon, I hesitantly nodded.

I must have been more tired than I thought, because almost as soon as I allowed my eyes to stay closed longer than thirty seconds, I was asleep.

I didn't even remember moving, but I did remember dreaming. The entire time I was asleep, I dreamed. Unfortunately for me, not much of it was good. Most of it involved Jack. Memories further back, and more recently kept my dreams a not-so-pleasant place.

I shouldn't have expected anything different, with him being on my mind so much lately. Worries of mine coming through in my dreams, and though that was normal, it was still hard to deal with. Essentially I was torturing myself.

But that night, I did something I'd never done before. Something I didn't know I could do. I felt myself trying to force myself to wake up, and by doing that, I found another direction to dream in. I sort of half woke up, while still asleep. Somehow, instead of waking myself up in a heart-stopping form of panic, I barely woke at all. Just enough to change dreams.

This dream was weird again. I dreamed about the wedding again, and once again, everything was clearer than it had been when I was there.

This time, though, everything was different. I focused more on my mom than I had before, and the last time I'd seen her. Hunter in her arms had been focused on something in his hands, so I didn't get as good of a look at him, but in the slight glance I'd given her, I recalled a lot more now than I'd seen at the time.

I didn't exactly understand it, but it was a whole lot better to dream about her than it was to dream about Jack. A hundred times better. A thousand, million times better.

She looked happy. A lot happier than I'd ever seen her look. Wouldn't that mean, though, that she'd be far less inclined to vanish?

Remembering, while dreaming, that Heather hadn't managed to get a hold of her lately, I immediately started dreaming about Heather and her bunch. Leading me to an even better group of memories.

I started waking up, keeping my eyes closed as I took a deep, waking breath. Until I remembered where I was.

Recalling everything, I bolted upright and looked over immediately, finding Esme right where she said she'd be. I finally let my breath out in relief, laying back down with a sigh as she laughed a little.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked, and I looked over at her.

"Yeah." I mumbled in reply, "You stayed?"

"Every moment." She smiled again, "Did you sleep well?" She smoothed my messy hair from my forehead in a very comforting gesture, "You seemed to be having a hard time there for a minute."

"Yeah." I repeated, "I dreamed about Jack, but I fixed it." Her soft expression turned apologetic, but I was deep in thought. What were those dreams trying to tell me? I knew there was something there.

And I realized.

It was telling me exactly what I already knew. I'd already noticed it, but it just never clicked before.

I'd dreamed mostly about his voice. The things he'd tell me, and how I'd never had a choice but to listen to him. His words held me now. Just as much as his hands used to. Weaving themselves around me like restraints I just allowed to hold me back. I just let them, because I never thought I was strong enough to fight them. Why in the hell would I ever feel like that here? It came down to one question.

So what if they never believed me?

Like Carlisle said before. There were probably thousands of times when I doubted them, and they never, ever held it against me. Them not believing me shouldn't ever change anything.

Just like how I treated Mike for having a bad day, when I'd had a million of them. Having a bad day wasn't his fault, and it wasn't mine. Them not believing me wasn't their fault, and it wasn't mine.

I should have tried harder to explain. Instead of getting mad at them. They knew now, and I was still treating them like crap for making a mistake. It didn't matter to me that it was a pretty big mistake. I'd made plenty of big mistakes, one more recently.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Esme asked, concerned at my silence.

"I've been so stupid." I admitted quietly, and she frowned a little in confusion, "This is what he wants."

"I don't follow." She murmured.

"Jack." I clarified, "This is what he wants. He wants me mad at them, because he doesn't want me to be happy. He told me the last time he was here that nobody believed me because they didn't care about me, and I guess I believed him."

Her expression faded back to concern so I went on.

"But he was wrong." I said, "He _is_ wrong. I've been so stupid to let something like something he says push me away from where I want to be or who I want to be around. He's wrong. He's always _been_ wrong. He always _will be_ wrong. Fuck him, and fuck everything he's ever told me."

"Damn straight, shorty." Emmett's grin in the doorway had me looking over, "Fuck him."

I watched him for a second, before I fought my way out of bed. Throwing the blanket back and scooting to the edge of the bed, I hopped to my feet. Crossing the room, the first thing I did was hug Emmett.

"I'm sorry." I told him, and he chuckled.

"No need, whatsoever." He replied, "You have no reason to be sorry. We're the ones that almost screwed everything up." I didn't know how to reply, because in a way, he was right, so I just shrugged. Stepping back and looking up at him again as he spoke again, "Too bad nobody else was around to hear that."

"They aren't?"

"They're out hunting." I frowned at his response, looking toward the windows and the daylight coming through them. He immediately knew what I was worried about, "Relax, shorty. It's pretty normal for them to stay out awhile. Especially with as many of them that went at once."

That was true. Many times they'd stayed gone passed sunrise, and it was just barely morning as it was.

"Shouldn't you have gone with them?" I asked and he smirked.

"And leave you and Esme here by yourselves?" He asked in return, "I think not. Besides. Between all of them, they have it covered."

I whined, hesitant. I didn't trust those trees out there as far as I could throw them, much less how far they'd probably gone to hunt. Despite knowing he was right, I still worried, and probably would until they got back.

Which didn't actually take that long. Getting back right in the middle of breakfast, not really giving me a chance to worry that much. I looked over, mid-bite as they came in the door, and the relief was instant.

Alice actually led the way into the kitchen, Carlisle and Rosalie in tow. Rose was only in here to find Emmett, which wasn't a surprise to me.

"How'd it go last night?" Alice asked, her eyes on Esme. She knew better than to ask me anything, as that hardly worked these days. Not with questions like that.

"She did very well." Esme replied, smiling a little at me.

"I didn't wake up once." I added quietly, and I didn't miss the slight surprise in Alice's expression as she glanced to me.

"Shorty's in a much better mood today." Emmett informed her, lightly ruffling my hair, "Who knew all she needed was some sleep before she'd come around?" I think she could tell by the way I allowed him to ruffle my hair without cussing him out that he wasn't lying.

"Really?" She asked, still surprised.

"Really." Emmett replied, "Shorty, why don't you tell her what you said before?"

"I don't think I can remember everything," I muttered, poking a scrambled egg on my plate, "But.. I dreamed about Jack last night."

"Oh boy." She sighed, and I looked over as Jasper made his appearance. Hesitating by the kitchen doorway.

"It was a good thing." I muttered, "If I hadn't dreamed about him, then I wouldn't have figured it out. I just thought.. Why stay mad about something he wants me to be mad about? Especially when he was wrong about everything he ever told me? It's stupid to listen to him, so I'm not going to anymore."

"Just like that?" She asked.

"Just like that." I repeated, shoveling another forkful of eggs into my mouth. She watched me for a few seconds, probably trying to figure out if I was sure about what I was saying.

I almost choked as she suddenly hugged me, squeezing me. Dropping my fork back onto my plate, I grunted through a small laugh, coughing a little as I recovered. I wasn't expecting that from Alice, considering it was usually Emmett that caught me off guard with almost-too-tight hugs.

"I'm sorry." She told me, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She turned me a little side to side, twisting the chair under me with me.

"I'll forgive you if you let me go." I laughed again, patting her shoulder lightly with my one free hand. My other arm was pinned to my side.

"Sorry." She said, releasing me, and I didn't miss the humor in that. If I hadn't been caught off guard, I wouldn't have minded. She stepped back a little, allowing me to stand up and hug her more comfortably.

She accepted it easily, and I had to admit. It felt nice to finally able to let go of my hurt over a mistake they didn't mean to make. Not just for their benefit, which was a big thing to me, but for mine as well.

She returned my hug just as tightly, and I appreciated that. Deeply. I had a feeling she'd been waiting days to do this, and truthfully, I had been too. Without even knowing it.

Alice had really been the first one there. Before Carlisle was, before Esme. Even before Edward or Jasper. I hated being mad at her, and to me, the second I let that go, it was like it never even happened.

I finally stepped back, laughing again with a sigh.

"Okay." She sighed, looking to Carlisle, "What now?"

"Now," He replied quietly, "We just keep doing all we can to watch her. We just keep her safe. That hasn't changed." She nodded, accepting that.

"Where's Mikah?" I asked, looking back toward the living room. I had been hoping to make up with him as well, but I hadn't seen him yet.

"He's taking a little more time." Jasper answered, finally speaking to me for the first time in days. I was a little surprised that he'd break his vow of silence so soon, but I didn't want to make a big deal out of that.

"Oh." I muttered, shrugging a little, "Well, that's okay, I guess." I honestly didn't like the thought of him out there on his own, but then again, he'd probably been out there on his own tons of times lately. I hadn't really been paying attention.

"Leandra," Esme spoke and I looked to her, "I'd prefer you stay in our room again tonight. That way we know that your sleeping through the night wasn't only due to how tired you were." I nodded a little, agreeing with that. I wasn't going to protest. She obviously knew what she was talking about.

As agreed, I was back in their bed again that night, and it took even less time for me to fall asleep this time. It amazed me how easy it was to feel so safe just by changing where I fell asleep. Knowing Esme wouldn't leave my side, I cuddled further under the blanket and let my eyes close.

Unfortunately, my attempt at sleeping didn't work as well this time.

When I knew what I was dreaming about, I could probably do what I did the night before and fix whatever I was dreaming about. Several times, though, I found myself sitting upright with a racing heart. It wasn't my normal form if panic, though. It was difficult to grasp, but I was panicking only enough to wake me up.  
The sound of my name still ringing in my head.

Tonight was different. It was somehow stronger tonight, and though I accused Esme of calling me when I knew she didn't, I knew it wasn't her. The more I did that, the more worried she got.

About the fourth time that happened, Carlisle decided to make an appearance.

"What is it?" He asked me, taking the open spot next to Esme on the side of the bed.

I sighed, trying to figure out how to explain.

"Well.." I mumbled tiredly, "You know how it feels when someone's calling you? Not how it sounds, but how it feels. You hear your name, and the way you feel makes you look for whoever called you." He nodded, letting me know that he followed me so far, "That's how I wake up. It hasn't been this bad before."

"How long has this been happening?" He asked, and I looked over as Alice appeared in the doorway. It seemed I'd finally have to face it.

"A long time." I replied, "It started while I was still with Heather. I thought Jack might have been the reason, but I guess not."

"Why haven't you said anything?" Alice asked, concerned.

"It stopped for awhile." I explained, "I thought it went away. It only happens when I'm asleep. Do you know what it is?"

"It'd be difficult, because I don't sleep." She replied, obviously thinking, "But the only explanation has to be a vision."

"Like the rest of the one I can't remember?" I asked.

"It could be a different one." She argued lightly, "Or it could have nothing to do with your gift. It could be just anxiety."

"I don't think that's it." I mumbled. Then again, what did I know? I had no idea that anxiety could cause whatever happened in the bathroom the day of the wedding.

"She wasn't stressed while she was with Heather." Esme pointed out for me.

"Um.." I actually was. Worried about everyone and every little thing around me would stress me out, wouldn't it? While dealing with a massive case of homesickness, but thinking I couldn't go back.

"You were?" Alice asked, and hesitantly, I nodded.

I sighed, "Edward knew about it before the wedding. He said to talk to you about it, but I guess I just forgot."

"That could explain why she's been so on edge over everything." Esme mused, her eyes still on Alice.

"It could be." Alice agreed, "But we need to figure out what this has to do with. Regular anxiety, or if it's part of her gift, because either way, it could be bad."

"How?" I asked quietly, "I'm not that good at telling."

"We'll figure something out." She assured me, "What can you tell me about it?"

I frowned, thinking about it. I didn't know what she wanted me to say.

"I don't know." I admitted.

"Any specific emotions, or thoughts?" She prompted, "Anything that lingers in your mind when you wake up could be something important."

"Um.." I mumbled again, this time in thought. I couldn't really think of much, "Well.. When it first started, it didn't make me worry. It was just weird."

"But you're worried now?"

"A little bit." I replied, "Not like.. Not like _really_ worried. Just a little worried."

"Okay." She nodded a little in thought, "I think I get what you're saying."

"It mostly just bugs."

"More of an annoyance than a problem?" She prompted and I nodded.

"Yeah." I replied, and she nodded again.

"Then I wouldn't worry too much about it." She murmured, "If that changes in any way, though, let me know."

That didn't seem like such a hard request, so I agreed with another nod. All she wanted was to know if things changed.

I agreed to go back to sleep a few minutes later, but it really didn't go well.

Just like four previous times, I sat upright in bed. It was worse this time, because my heart pounded a lot worse. I felt too warm, like I'd been panicking for awhile by then. I gasped a deep breath in, looking toward the early morning daylight filtering in through the windows.

"Sweetheart." Esme was still here, but I ignored that part.

"Carlisle." Stupidly, I started to cry as I called out. Fighting my way out of bed at the same time. Before I was even out of bed, he stepped into the room. I had no idea what had me so upset, but there was something wrong. I knew it, and given the worry in his expression, he did too.

The cooler air of the room stung my overheated skin almost painfully, causing me to tremble lightly as I crossed the room to him. Immediately hugging him, much to his confusion.

"Leandra?" He asked, "What is it?"

"Carlisle." Alice had followed him in, totally ignoring my quiet cries. Esme was suddenly there, trying to pry me loose from his side, but I refused to let go. She managed to, but that was only because I was distracted by Alice handing him her phone.

"Leandra," Esme spoke to me, further taking my attention as she led me back to the bed and sat me down, "What is it?" Glancing over, Carlisle turned from the room, probably so whoever was on the phone didn't hear my cries.

"I don't know." I sobbed, but even I knew that there _had_ to be a reason behind these tears. Maybe I was tired, maybe I was just short because I hadn't had a decent bit of sleep the entire night, but I doubted that. I was upset, and there had to be a reason behind it.

"Please keep her in here." Carlisle hardly ever used that tone, and by the way Esme only nodded as he moved further up the hall, I knew something was wrong over there as well. Alice followed him, half a step behind. Closing the door behind her as she did so.

I didn't know what else to do. Hugging onto Esme's neck, which was returned instantly. She knew exactly what to do to help me calm down. I desperately needed her help, or I'd lose what I'd had on my stomach.

Surprisingly, it took just under ten minutes for those heart-broken cries to stop, replaced only by sniffles now and then. Whatever was going on out there would wait. I needed to just take this time to calm down, because I hated being that upset. I sat there with Esme on the bed, just focusing on my breathing, and deeply appreciating how quiet it was in the room now.

I felt like I continuously bit my lip now, nerves keeping me from letting it go.

"No." Esme spoke at one point, but I knew immediately by her tone that she wasn't speaking to me, "That will wait."

I'd always wondered how they communicated when they were in different rooms of a house, and I finally witnessed it. They didn't even have to yell to the other person. Just a normal voice.

Whoever she was talking to, and whatever she was replying to, I appreciated it. She offered me a small smile, but I couldn't return it yet. I felt horrible. I always felt horrible after crying like that, but now I felt worse. A sickening sort of depressed resignation settled into my stomach, and it was times like this I hated most. It hurt this time. It rolled over me like a chilling nausea. It was all I could do to keep from crying again, and Esme seemed to know that.

At Esme's urging, I laid back down. That did help, and laying curled up on my side, I felt even more secure. Especially with her sitting directly beside me.

She didn't ask me what was wrong. She didn't ask me again what it was that upset me. I was glad she didn't, because I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her why I'd woken up the way I did, sobbing to Carlisle the way I did when she was sitting right there.

I couldn't explain the way I felt. I couldn't even begin to describe it, and oddly, I didn't even want to try.

"She needs to know." Alice had come in anyway, and despite how I laid, I looked toward her in the doorway.

"It can wait." Esme argued instantly, "I just got her calmed down." Alice sighed, about to speak again when Esme cut her off, "No. It will wait. Let her be for now. I will not let her be upset again. I mean it."

"She's going to figure it out when they get here anyway." Alice reasoned.

"Then let her figure it out then." Esme replied, her tone almost sharp, "Not a moment sooner. Am I clear?" She was oddly defensive of me right then, and it surprised me. I didn't feel much like arguing, though part of me knew they knew what was behind how upset I was.

"Okay." Alice finally replied, "I won't say anything, but I'd like to stay." Hesitantly, Esme nodded. Allowing her to stay, which I was grateful for. Alice carefully crossed the room to sit behind me on the opposite side of the bed with a quiet sigh. I didn't bother saying anything.

I blinked a few left over tears from my eyes, finally realizing that they were bugging me as I sniffled quietly and adjusted how I laid slightly. The silence seemed to drag on, and though I rested my sore eyes, I didn't sleep.

"How long?" Alice asked after several minutes, and that seemed acceptable.

"As long as possible." Esme replied, reaching over and clearing a strand of my hair out of my face. I hadn't even noticed that strand was bugging me, so I appreciated it.

"Do you want me to send Cole up?" Alice asked, and that got my attention.

"Cole's back?" I asked quietly, looking back at her.

"Yes." Alice replied, "But I think you should stay in here for a little while longer."

"Why?" I asked quietly, sitting up.

"It's a little busy downstairs right now." She answered, "No biggie, but it's safer in here." The way she down-played it made me suspicious, but right then, I still didn't want to argue with her. I wasn't sure how busy it could possibly be, but she didn't seem so concerned about it.

"Okay." I muttered, "But can I see Cole?"

"I'll go get him." Esme offered quietly, "And bring you up something to eat." I really wasn't sure if I could eat, but it being morning, I knew why she'd offer. I nodded a little, agreeing. I could at least try to eat after she'd done so much for me lately.

She smiled a little, standing up with a sigh.

I waited a few seconds after she left before I looked over at Alice.

"Why is Cole here?" I asked quietly, "Not that I'm not happy that he is, but.. Why?"

"He's just here for.." She hesitated, looking for the right words, "Extra eyes. Since we obviously can't smell Jack out there, the only possible way to keep him away is to constantly guard the trees."

"Oh." I blinked in surprise. That was smart. She went on, "But doesn't he have more important things to do?"

"Not really." I looked over, finding Cole already in the doorway. His smile was much more believable. He spoke again, "We don't mind, darling. Happy to help." It really had been too long since I'd seen him. I actually couldn't help smiling a little bit at him. His own smile quite contagious. Just like it always was.

The last time I'd seen him, I was a little distracted. Recovering from Jane's visit, and her less than pleasant form of interrogation.

"Hi." I greeted quietly.

"Hi." He replied easily, giving another smile as he stepped into the room. Letting the door close behind him.

"You're here to protect the trees?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want him to get bored.

"And the house," He clarified, "And everybody in it. No, it's not an inconvenience, and yes, we take our job seriously. We're only in here because Carlisle asked us to be."

"How'd you know what I was going to ask?"

"Have we met before?" He asked in reply, and I frowned.

"Uh.." Was that a trick question? Rhetorical?

He decided to go on, "It's not hard to figure you out, darling. I know how much of a worrier you are. It's _not_ an inconvenience."

"Uh." I wasn't sure what that word meant, "You sure?"

"Positive." He replied, "We're more than happy to lend a helping hand."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew Jack." I mumbled quietly, and he smirked again.

"I look forward to meeting Jack." He countered, "Very much."

"You do?" I asked, surprised and appalled at the same time.

"Have we met before?" He asked again, "I've been filled in quite.. Extensively on how much of a plague this particular individual has been in your life, and believe me when I say that I very much hope to exterminate it."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew him." I repeated also, looking down.

"You fear him?" Cole asked, hesitantly sitting himself down on the side of the bed.

"Yes." I replied immediately, "You should too."

"I never fear anyone that chooses to hide behind an ability, whether his own or someone else's, to pick on one small human." He replied, "All that does is prove to me and anyone in my position how much of an indescribable coward he is."

"I don't think he's afraid." I admitted, shaking my head a little, "I think he's smart."

"What makes you say that?" He asked, obviously interested.

"Well.." I mumbled, "He knows anyone but me would kill him the second they saw him. He doesn't want to die. That wouldn't be fun for him. So he only lets me see him, because that's more fun for him, but at the same time, he tries to say that everyone else just chooses not to see him, trying to turn me against them." I paused for a breath, "Jack has always been the type of person to see how much he can get away with before anyone catches on or catches him."

"I see." Cole nodded a little.

"I wouldn't say he's scared." I repeated, "He's building up the game so it'll be more fun for him, and I think you being here makes it a lot more fun for him."

I looked over as Alice suddenly stood up. She spoke, "Stay here."

"Where are you going?" I asked her.

"The way you just worded that," She replied, "It made me realize something. Stay put. I'll be right back." I nodded a little as she turned for the door, watching after her.

I sighed as the door closed behind her, looking to Cole again.

"Just be careful, okay?" I requested, "Jack is mean."

"So am I." He smiled a little at me, "But only toward those that deserve it."

"Remind me not to deserve it." I muttered and he chuckled quietly.

"A sweet thing like you could never deserve it." He replied easily, "Trust me. You're safe."

"How's Mikah?" I asked after a few seconds, "I haven't seen him for awhile."

"Neither have I." He replied, slightly confused, "As far as I know, he hasn't been back." That really made me nervous.

"He hasn't?" I asked, my tone probably giving away my nervousness.

"Not that I'm aware of." He murmured, "But I'm sure he's fine. He's probably just out for a little time on his own."

I whimpered, looking toward the window. As if I'd be able to see him in that one glance.

"I'm sure he's fine." He repeated, "I really wouldn't worry too much about Mikah. He's a tough kid."

"I can't help it." I muttered, "He hasn't wanted to run off on his own for a long time now. He was mad at himself the last time I saw him."

"If you'd like," He offered, "I can send a few out to find him for you."

"Could you?" I asked, hopeful as I looked to him, "I mean, I know you're already doing so much-"

"Not to worry, darling." He smiled easily, "He's one of ours too." When he put it like that, I didn't feel so bad. Reaching over, he lightly patted my hand resting on the bed in a supportive gesture, "I'm sure he's fine."

He waited with me until both Alice and Esme got back, for which I was grateful.

I was obviously hungrier than I thought, because I polished off whatever Esme brought for me. Hardly without pause to think about it. Watching out the window at the trees, in a futile attempt to see Mikah coming back. I couldn't really see the ground from where I was, though. Unfortunately.

I had to consider, though. Had the arrangements they made really kept Jack away this long? Had they finally done it? If they had, I couldn't help doubting that it would work for very long.

"Cole said he'd send someone to go find him." I spoke after several silent minutes once I was through eating.

"I'm sure Mikah is fine." Esme assured me quietly.

"Cole said that too." I sighed, finally looking over at her, "I really hope you guys are right."

"He's been gone this long before." Alice pointed out, "Remember?"

"I know." I muttered, "But this is different. What if he's hurt?"

"He's fine." Alice assured me this time, "The last time we spoke to him, he told us not to worry if he's away for a little while. He needed time to think on his own." Oh.

"So he was going off on his own anyway?" I asked. He was expecting not to be back right away.

"Yeah." She replied, "That's why none of us have gone looking for him yet."

"Okay." I mumbled, nodding a little. That made me feel a little better, "When Jasper said that, he didn't say that he wanted to be gone for awhile. Just for a little bit. Awhile means more than two days. A little bit means a day or two. Doesn't he know that?"

Alice smiled a little, "He hasn't figured out yet that you need all information at once, or you tend to overthink."

"He needs to figure that out." I couldn't help smirking a little as well.

After a short nap later on, I started getting edgy again. Being held up in a single room was starting to bug me. Especially considering I didn't even really know why. I'd gathered that Cole had brought a few friends over, and that they kept me in here to keep me safe, but how long did Cole's friends want to stay?

Thankfully, before I really had to get insistent, I was allowed downstairs about an hour after lunch. As against it as Esme seemed to be, she allowed me to leave the room.

It wasn't as busy as I thought it'd be, but I had a feeling that a lot of others had been cleared out. Cole had stuck around, along with three others I hadn't met before. Every one of my family had chosen the living room as well, aside from Alice and Esme who had both followed me downstairs. The way they looked at me, though, made me even edgier than I had been while stuck upstairs. Not quite saddened, but with a confusing form of pity.

Before I could look at them too long, my attention was taken.

"Leandra." To my surprise, it was Carlisle that wanted a word with me first. I looked to him as he spoke again, "Please. Come in and sit down." I could tell by his tone that this was important, so I didn't even think to argue as I did as he asked. I rounded the side of the chair, sitting hesitantly. Looking up at him expectantly as he sighed.

"I really think this should wait." Esme offered her own opinion, and given the way Carlisle glanced to her, he'd noted it long before she gave it. Though I knew he respected her opinion, he also had his reasons. I could see that.

"I want to start by saying one thing." He murmured, his eyes on me, "You've been very brave lately. Braver than any of us could have asked of you." I doubted that, but I didn't want to interrupt him, so I sat silently as he went on, "But I'm asking. I'm asking you to hold onto that bravery for just a little bit longer."

"What's going on?" I couldn't help asking, glancing over as Cole and the others by the door seemed to fidget nervously. Did this have anything to do with them? Did this have anything to do with why they were here, or what they were here to do?

"I don't want to lie to you." Carlisle murmured, "So I won't try. You're far more observant than that, but I need you to focus. Can you do that?"

"On what?" I mumbled, getting more nervous by the second. What was he trying to say? I looked down, inspecting my hands clasped in my lap. Part of me didn't want to know what he was about to say, so it was easier to look at my hands instead of him.

I kept my eyes down as he spoke again.

"I think.." He hesitated, "I think there was a reason you couldn't rest last night. Why you woke up the way you did this morning. Your gift, Leandra, is partly decision based. In a way, it's a lot like Alice's, but in another way, it's much different." I nodded a little, "You know more about this whole situation than any of us do, and what I'm asking of you won't be easy. I know that."

I continued to wait, still unsure. I didn't like where this seemed to be going.

"Right now," He went on, "Edward and Bella are both on their way back." That had me looking up. I wasn't quite sure what that meant yet, but it surprised me. So soon? What would have them coming back so soon?

"I'm going to need to know, in further detail, all you remember about what happened last time." He clarified, and for a moment, I was still confused. Until I suddenly understood. Last time. _Last_ last time.

I darted to my feet, immediately shaking my head. If there was one thing I couldn't bear to think about right then, it was last time.

Stepping back around the chair, nearly tripping over it, I shook my head again.

"Uh-uh." I muttered, "No. I can't."

I also had to think, though. What did this mean? He wanted to know what happened this time last time, but why? Because it was the same. This time was the same as last time, which meant we were still on the same track.

Everything made sense again. It made sense because I remembered it. The nagging nervousness that wasn't completely caused by Jack. The tension in my stomach that made it feel like concrete. The sleeplessness, the crying this morning. Differences aside, everything was still happening. That realization was all it took to cause several emotions to rush through me at once.

He tried to speak right at that moment, "Leandra-"

"No!" I wasn't even expecting that response. Anger ripping from me in the form of a tearing cry and a sob at the same time, "You said! You said it was _different_!"

"It is different." He immediately replied.

"No it's not!" I hated how I cried now in anger, "It's still the _same_!" I couldn't handle this. I thought it would be different. I turned on the spot, fully intending to storm off to my room, even taking one step, but remembering made me retract that step. I knew I couldn't do that. The fear of being alone kept me there, and the further frustration at not knowing what to do in that particular moment only made my tears fall harder.

I didn't know what to do. Just the thought that everything could still be happening was too much on me, and not having the slightest clue about how to fix it increased my desperation.

This was why I left. This feeling was why I left here to live with Heather in the first place. I came back because I let myself believe it would be different. Because I'd let myself believe it would be different, I refused to face it now.

"Leandra." Carlisle seemed to know how hard of a time I was having right then, gently turning me back around to face him, "I promise-"

"Stop promising." I sobbed, shaking my head, "It doesn't work." His expression softened, "You weren't there. You didn't see. You don't _know_." That was all I could say before I finally gave in and hugged him, which he returned immediately.

"You said." I accused between quiet sobs, "You said it was different."

"I know how much I'm asking of you." He told me, "Leandra, I understand. I understand how difficult this is for you, but there are some details Edward never gave us, and I need to know these details if I'm going to be prepared enough to help her."

"I can't." I repeated, but I had yet to release him.

"This was why I wanted to wait." Esme murmured sadly, "She's not going to be able to give any information without Edward's help. All this is doing is upsetting her."

She was right, this was upsetting me, but I didn't want Carlisle to feel bad for needing to ask this of me. I would have to pull myself together eventually, because I took him needing to be prepared as him having an idea of how to keep things from going wrong.

There was still a chance that he could make it right, and I needed to be the one to help him do that. Nobody else had the ability to do so. Only I did. I eased myself with the knowledge that he wasn't asking about what happened because of this. He was asking about this part. Just this part. I could handle that.

"Just.." I sniffled hard, "Just.. Hold on. I'll help as much as I can, but hold on." I would help, but I needed a minute to calm down and come to terms with this.

My request seemed to surprise more than just myself, but I chose not to focus too much on that.

"Take your time." Carlisle replied, which I appreciated. There was no rush, and that made it easier for me to rush myself.

"Are you sure, honey?" Esme asked, and I nodded. I'd help, because there were very few times I could actually help. I gratefully accepted the glass of water Alice offered.

Taking a deep breath moments later, I sighed heavily and nodded.

"Okay." I mumbled, "What do you want to know?"

And the questions began. Hesitant at first, but as I was able to answer them, Carlisle became braver. It was difficult to think about, but I'd rather have thought about this than the result of this, which I didn't have to go anywhere near for the most part.

I did the best I could to explain what all I remembered of the vision, as thoroughly as I could,, starting at the wedding and moving on to when they got back last time. All I could remember of her problems, and I made sure to point out the solution they'd found.

I stressed that it was going to go quick, which seemed to be an issue last time as well. I was rather proud of myself, as I made it through the entire explanation without shedding another tear. I came close towards the end with one specific form of questioning.

"Perhaps the most important question in all of this." Carlisle murmured after the basics had been covered, "Who all needs to be warned ahead of time of what's to come?"

I fell silent for a moment. He knew we had problems with accepting the baby for what it was, and I knew he needed to know this to head off those problems. That could work, but it was still hard to think about.

"Tanya." I mumbled and he nodded, "They all need to know, because I think it's Irina that runs to Aro." I paused, glancing down at a mental shudder at just saying his name. I took another breath before continuing, "Jacob needs to know, so he can tell Sam that it's _not_ that big of a deal. It's just a baby. It'll be stronger than me, but not as strong as you. I could help you talk to them if you want me to." If it even came to that.

"Thank you, Leandra." He replied, "But I don't think it'll be necessary."

"There's more." I mumbled, "I don't remember what happens when the baby's born, because I wasn't there, but I know it wasn't good. Something goes wrong with Bella, and the baby has to get taken out fast. I do remember, though, that Bella turns out okay." Ha. Pun intended.

He nodded, listening intently.

"Anything specific about the baby we should know?" He asked when I didn't continue.

"Um.." I muttered, "I remember.." I trailed off for a moment before I sighed, "It's hard to remember this part, because it's closer to the spot I can't remember yet, but.. I remember that she's tough. Like I said, stronger than me, but not as strong as you. Tougher and stronger than a human, but she looks almost human. She keeps growing quick, too, once she's born."

"How quickly?" Alice seemed concerned at that. I looked down. I had the answer to that, but I had to venture further in my memory to find it, and the answer was in a place I hated to venture to.

"After.." I hesitated, falling quiet, "Well.. I guess during.. We find out while Aro is there, that she'll grow up, but that's it. She gets old enough, but doesn't get any older. She just stops."

"How do we find that out?" She asked, interested.

"You." I answered, "You find someone in.. Brazil, I think. He's just like her, half human, and he proves that she's half human too. That makes Aro believe it too, and he leaves." My voice quieted towards the end, as I knew where that eventually led, "After that, he finds me. That's where it all goes even more wrong."

"That's not going to happen." Carlisle told me, and I glanced up nervously, "I know what needs to be done to avoid that now."

"That's what Edward said, too." I pointed out quietly, "But I think they both must be brain-dead or something."

I looked over at Emmett's sudden laughter.

"Leandra." Esme corrected quietly, but Emmett's laughter continued. His laughter, though, was having a positive effect on me. I couldn't help laughing a little as well.

"What?" I asked Emmett defensively, "It's true. Like.. They both knew what happens if they do something they knew not to do, and they do it anyway. I'm eleven, and I know that that's stupid. It'd be like me running straight at a tree, and then wondering why I smack face first into it."

"Right to the point, shorty." Emmett chuckled, recovering, "Geez. I think they thought that with the right precautions-"

"Emmett." Esme cut him off, "I think that's enough of that."

"I'm just saying." Emmett replied, "I mean, yeah. What they did was pretty damn dumb, but sometimes, when the urge hits you-"

"Stop it." She cut him off again.

"I think I get what he means." I muttered, hoping to get him out of trouble.

"I don't think you do." Emmett replied with a laugh, "But she's right. I should shut up."

"Leandra," Carlisle took my attention again, "Thank you. For providing all the insight you could, which was just enough."

"You're welcome." I replied, flopping back in my chair with a tired sigh, "I just hope I never have to think about last time again. At least that time last time."

"You shouldn't need to." He assured me, standing up, "Now that we know everything we know."

"You did awesome, Leandra." Alice landed on the armrest beside me.

"Being afraid of it only got me so far." I explained, looking down at my hands folded across my stomach, "Might as well try to help." I really didn't feel all that accomplished, but I knew they appreciated my effort just as well.

"Excuse us a moment." Cole, who had been silent throughout the entire discussion, made his way outside, following the three others standing with him. I was a little surprised they'd stuck around so long. Especially when this didn't really involve them for the most part.

They were here to watch for Jack, but Cole did mention that it was their job to protect the area and everybody in it. Maybe that meant Bella now too.

"Am I done now?" I asked, sitting upright again, "My stomach hurts."

"You've done so well." Carlisle replied, "I shouldn't need anything else." I nodded a little, sighing heavily once more. I felt sensitive and emotionally sore. Recalling everything out loud like that made it more real to me.

"Leandra," To my surprise, Jasper spoke up, "Can I have a word?" I wasn't against that, so I nodded. I hauled myself to my feet, glancing up at Carlisle as he patted my shoulder appreciatively on my way passed him.

I let Jasper lead the way outside onto the porch. I knew this was far from private, but it was quieter out here, and the cool breeze that crawled through my hair and over my skin was comforting.

I'd always appreciated the outdoors. There was something to it that made me feel better when I felt cornered. When I felt weighed down or heavy like I did.

It was silent for a minute or two as I worked on breathing deeply and calming myself down. I felt so tired suddenly, but it was breathing in the moist air around me that made me feel like it was okay to feel tired.

Jasper stood beside me, as silent as I was for the moment.

"I fully realize." He spoke quietly after those minutes of silence were up, "I fully realize that I'm the one of the only ones that have yet to properly apologize to you."

"It's okay." I sighed, knowing what he meant.

"No." He replied, "It's far from okay. I refused to see what was right in front of me. I refused to believe all the things your emotions were telling me."

"You wanted it to be easy." I mumbled, "I can't blame you for that, because I wanted it too."

"Leandra, I'm sorry." He murmured, "I can't even begin to imagine how hard all of this has been on you."

"You tell me." I challenged quietly, looking up at him in the deeply clouded afternoon light, "You're the only one besides me that knows how I feel. You know how hard it's been on me. You just won't admit it."

He nodded a little, "Fair enough."

"Does it worry you?" I asked, looking back out over the yard. Facing the breeze again as it seemed to come straight from the trees. He knew what I was referring to.

"No." He replied after a moment, "I'll be worried the moment you stop feeling what you're feeling." He had a point.

"Fair enough." I repeated his words. I sighed and climbed up onto the handrail I'd just been leaning against. Sitting on it instead. It felt nice to actually be doing something instead of just sitting there or laying around all day.

"I wish I could." I said when I settled onto my spot, "Stop feeling so much. I wish I could just stop being afraid all the time. I know I should be used to it, but.. It still makes me wanna throw up sometimes."

"Soon enough." He replied, "You won't have anything more to be afraid of."

"I'll always be afraid." I countered, looking over at him, "It's in my blood." We fell quiet for a moment longer before I spoke again, "You know what I'm worried about most?"

"Jack?" He guessed.

"Sort of." I allowed, "But.. You guys aren't going to find him."

"You really think that?"

"I know that." I replied, "You're not going to find him before he wants you to find him. Even with Cole here. Jack is the kind of guy to always stay one step ahead of everybody he meets. If there's one thing he'll never lose, it's that."

"I don't believe that." He said, and I shrugged.

"Think about it." I mumbled, "If Edward hadn't been here a few months ago, you never would have seen me again. I got the best of him the day I ran away from him, because he wasn't expecting me to do that. That pissed him off, and he would have made damn sure nobody saw me again.

"When Edward showed up, and made her leave without me, that was you getting the best of him. That pissed him off even more. Now he's like you, so it's only going to get worse before he finally says enough's enough. He's just playing with us now. Just wait until he gets bored."

"I think I've underestimated just how well you seem to know him."

"I know him better than I know anyone." I murmured, glancing over again, "In a way, it was my job to know him more than I knew myself. When I was little, it was harder, because I didn't really know what he could think up. Now I know." I sighed, "When Edward gets back, ask him, and he'll tell you. He saw _every_ thing that night. He saw my whole life, because I didn't know he was there. Maybe then you'll know what I'm talking about."

"He's always refused." Jasper replied doubtfully.

"Now he won't." I said, "Because I want you to know. I used to not want anyone to know what kind of person I was, but that was stupid. Now I think it'll help you to know."

"What kind of person _you_ are?" He asked, frowning, "What do you mean by that?"

"Was." I corrected, "I'm not like that anymore. I think I might be worse, but I'm not sure yet. I'm still figuring that part out, but ask him. He'll tell you. For now, don't worry. I can't really blame you for not believing me about Jack. Like I said to Alice. I'm not mad. It got better when I let it go, because being right isn't the most important thing in the world. It's not about being right. It's about being okay."

I looked over as he fell silent, and he was watching me.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"It's just.." He started, "It's been so long since we've had an honest talk. I'm having trouble seeing you as anyone but the nine year old we took in. It's strange to hear you speak this way when only a few months ago, you had a completely different mindset. You've grown up."

"I think I grew up when I remembered what happened before." I admitted, "I know that day changed everything about me, and all that time after that, it had a chance to stick."

"I'm starting to see that." He replied quietly.

"I'm sorry for getting you into trouble with Carlisle." I mumbled, looking over at him as he shook his head.

"We deserved it." He immediately said, "He was right. We promised to protect you, and we weren't fulfilling that promise."

"You had your reasons, though." I pointed out as I adjusted how I sat, turning a little to face him.

"No reason of ours was good enough to put you in danger that way." He countered, "We see that now."

I had to ask, "You won't really believe me until you see him for yourself, huh?" I was only curious, surprisingly.

"It's not that we don't believe you, Leandra."

"You know what I mean." I muttered, and he sighed.

"I suppose it's just a little difficult." He allowed, and even I could see how much he hated saying that.

"That's okay." I replied, shrugging a little, "You don't have to really believe me. I'm not even really asking you to believe me. I just want to know that nobody's going to leave me alone again. Even with Cole here, Jack can find a way through."

"Do you think?" He asked.

"I know." I replied, "It might be just a little trickier for him, but he can do it. He could be out there right now for all I know." I glanced across the yard again, "Listening to us. Just waiting."

To my surprise, that seemed to make Jasper a bit edgy. He certainly didn't like that, and I looked over as he sighed.

"Maybe you shouldn't sit up there." He muttered, and despite how I didn't exactly agree, I accepted his help in climbing back down. If it made him feel better, it was a simple solution.

"When do they get here?" I asked, looking up at him again.

"At some point tomorrow." He answered, knowing who I meant, "Until then, we just have to be ready."

"I wish I could remember more." I sighed apologetically, leaning back against the handrail, "Not just.. About this, but.. There's so much I have to remember. All I still remember is.. That agreement with Aro, and a little bit of when I'm seventeen, but.. Between that, there's nothing. That's a whole six years of stuff I can't remember."

"You'll remember it when you're meant to remember it." He told me, and I shrugged again.

"Yeah, but.." I murmured, "That doesn't help anybody now, though."

"You must be joking." He gave me a look, "Honestly, I don't understand how you can not see it. You've already helped so much with what must seem to you like so little information."

"I know." I sighed, "But there's more I could help with. I know it. I know there's more there, but I'm worried it's not going to come through if everything is changed already."

"I thought you wanted everything to change?"

"I do." I immediately said, "I _really_ do.. But what if I can't remember it because everything is different?"

"That wouldn't be the case." Alice's voice approaching from the doorway had us both looking over.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Remember New York?" She asked, and I suddenly understood, "None of that was the same as what happened before, was it?" I shook my head as she made it to my other side.

"Yeah." I nodded a little, "You're right."

"Don't worry so much." She sighed, hugging my shoulders lightly, "You've already done so much for us, Leandra."

"Yeah, but I'm not done." I pointed out, and she sighed.

"For now, you are." She assured me, "Take a breather, kid. You can't save the world if you're completely exhausted." I _was_ kind of tired, but I knew what she meant.

"One day at a time." I muttered, and she smiled a little.

"Yes." She agreed, and I sighed again, turning enough to return her hug. She accepted that, holding me securely as she spoke again, "You've done more than enough, and you don't even see how amazing you are, do you?" I didn't know what to say to that.

I was just grateful to be able to hug her again. I'd never forget how weird it was for me when she hugged me for the first time, moments after meeting her. To me, hugs would always be a big thing for me, because I never had any before she came along. I owed her more than staying mad at her over something like Jack.

Too tired to stay awake much longer, I was right back upstairs as soon as dinner was over with. I was starting to get used to sleeping in a gigantic bed again, which wasn't necessarily a good thing.

I was also getting used to sleeping with Esme sitting right next to me. She was like the night light, giving me a solid, more real bit of security I didn't want to let go of, no matter how selfish I knew I was being.

She was there, though. I felt confident that she'd stay there as long as I needed her to stay there, and that was what mattered most to me.

 **A/N: Woo. Another chapter down.  
I'm not sure how clear this chapter came out to be, but I really hope it's acceptable. It honestly feels like _forever_ since I've released a chapter, so I wanted to get this out to you now.  
Happy pre-Thanksgiving to those that are about to stuff your face with awesome food tomorrow! Have some for me!  
On another note:  
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! To those that reviewed last chapter! I APPRECIATE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH! :D  
And THANK YOU! For being so patient with me. I've been so scatter-brained the last few months, and I sincerely hope that gets better soon.  
SO.  
Thoughts on this chapter? WHERE THE HECK IS MIKAH?! He's disappeared on me too, so let's hope he shows up again soon. If not, I've gotta hunt his ass down myself and kick it across the country.  
Until Nine, my friends! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Sleeping that night, for the most part, went better than it had the night before. Though I slept deeply, I only remembered dreaming once, and it was of nothing really significant.

I slept in later than I wanted to, though. Doing that always made me feel weird when I woke up. I chose to wake up slowly, in hopes that helped me feel better. Just as I'd figured, Esme was still sitting right there, which helped in the slow waking up process.

Eventually, I let myself sit up. Looking toward the window at the late morning daylight.

"Are you okay, honey?" Esme asked, probably sensing my discomfort.

"Yeah." I mumbled, and thought it wasn't a lie, I knew it was hard for her to believe me. I decided to explain, "I think I slept too much."

"Sleeping is a good thing."

"I know." I replied, rubbing my tired eyes a little with the heels of my palms, "It just makes me feel weird when I wake up."

"Are you hungry?" She asked, and I thought about it. Through a yawn, I nodded. There was nobody else there to watch me, though, which worried me a little as she stood up. Before I could worry too much, someone appeared in the doorway.

I smiled a little at Edward, instantly feeling better.

On her way out, Esme paused to give him a hug. I couldn't exactly blame her, because it seemed like forever since I last saw him at the wedding. So much had happened since then, and right then, it reminded me a lot of Christmas back in New York. He'd been gone for so long then.

Esme must not have left my side when he first got here. Choosing to greet him now instead. I finally kicked the heavy blanket off of me as she left, leaving him with me. I could almost see what he was thinking myself as he looked to me next.

I looked down, perfectly recalling just how much he had to have been going through right then, and I suddenly felt bad for what I'd said the day before. That wasn't very nice of me.

"How's Bella?" I finally broke the silence, and he took that as an okay to come in.

"She's alright for now." He replied, "Far braver than I am."

"Maybe it's something she wanted." I suggested, "But what do I know?"

"Perhaps." He sighed, looking down as well.

"If it's the same," I muttered, "You're gonna love her so much." I just wanted him to feel better, but I also knew I was telling nothing but the truth. I could still recall the moment I first saw Renesmee, and the difference in Edward I noted. He glanced up, "What happens isn't her fault, and I talked to Carlisle yesterday. So he knows what to do."

"Thank you." He replied, but I knew he was still nervous about all this. Oddly, talking and thinking about Renesmee being born made me sad. Not in worry, but I felt sad in a jealous sort of way. Recalling the way he held her, and with the worry over Bella passed, it was different. Like night and day, and so complete.

We fell quiet for a moment, and for the life of me, I didn't know what to say this time. He spoke again before I could figure that out, though.

"I spoke to Jasper." He said, and I looked back up, "As you requested." I nodded a little.

"Thanks." I replied, "How'd he take it?"

"As well as can be expected, I suppose." He answered, "He already knew majority of it, but the rest was.. Very hard for him to hear."

"I kinda thought it would be." I shrugged, "But why?"

"You mean so much to everyone, Leandra." He murmured, "To know that much of your life was taken before you could even realize it was so hard for them to accept. You're right in assuming that they knew only.. Just a fraction of what you've been through. Now they have a broader understanding, and to know you've been hurt so badly, they hurt as well."

I sighed, laying back down, "But he needed to hear it. They all did." I paused, "Part of me wishes they still didn't know, but I'm not embarrassed anymore."

"You had nothing to be embarrassed about in the first place, Leandra." He pointed out quietly.

"I know." I mumbled, "But to me, it was.. I dunno. Sort of my thing, you know? I was a little bit afraid of what they'd think when they did find out everything, but.. I figured.. I was only afraid because of everything he told me. Once I figured that out, it stopped mattering so much, and if it helped in the long run, why not?"

"That's exactly right." He replied, "I'm proud of you." I smiled a little, but it faded quickly.

"Think they believe me now?" I asked, my voice quiet, "About him being here?"

"There was very little doubt anymore to begin with, but now.." He sighed as well, "There is far more determination."

"That doesn't sound like a very good thing." I muttered, "I really hope nobody does anything stupid."

"I agree." He admitted, leaning against the wall.

I hesitated before I asked, "Do you believe me?"

"I believe you." He replied instantly, "I didn't need to see your dreams last night to believe you."

I frowned, "I dreamed about it?" I didn't remember that.

"Yes." He replied, "And I explained it to them. Even if it wasn't real, which it most certainly was, it was real to you. They couldn't answer me when I asked them. How can they believe you so completely when you talk about your vision, yet doubt so much when you told them about Jack?"

"I didn't think about that." I admitted, sitting back up.

"But that.." He went on, "That was very much real, and I worry. He's around. I know he's around if he's gone to those lengths to warn you of his presence." I nodded a little, "But the others are more than aware now, and Leandra, the way you've handled this is more than anyone could have asked of you."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been so mature about this."

I immediately shook my head, "Crying like that? That's not mature. That's acting like a baby."

"Crying was an involuntary reaction to something you suffered through, and when nobody seemed to be listening, that only made it harder to bear." He murmured, "The way you've handled learning forgiveness, and letting go for the sake of everyone involved is admirable."

"Not everyone." I mumbled, my tone regretful as I looked down at my hands resting on my stomach. There was still one person I had yet to talk to, and one person I was getting increasingly more worried about.

"Mikah." Edward understood, and I nodded, "He just returned this morning, but he doesn't seem too eager to talk." That surprised me, but the second half of what he'd said bugged me. He wasn't up to talking? Tough shit.

I climbed out of bed, ignoring Edward's smirk.

"Are you sure you want to push this?" He asked, following me out of the room.

"Yes." I replied, waiting for him as he closed the door behind him, "Why didn't he come and see me?"

"He's still a little sore." He explained, "He hates himself for hurting you."

"He didn't hurt me." I frowned.

"By not believing you, he hurt you." He pointed out as we started for the stairs, "And he's taking it rather hard."

"It wasn't his fault, though." I replied, "Doesn't he know that? He was going by what everyone else was telling him."

"He doesn't see it that way."

"Then he needs to look harder." I countered, "Because I miss him." I descended the stairs first, Edward behind me, and I spotted Mikah the second I looked up. He was back alright, but in his usual spot just inside the doorway. Not even looking at me.

That wouldn't do.

I crossed the room, vaguely noting every pair of eyes on me as I did so, and shoved Mikah as hard as I could. That got his attention, his expression surprised as he turned around to face me.

"Stop it." I barked, and he sighed, looking down.

"Princess-"

"Don't give me that." I snapped, "I don't blame you, so you can't blame yourself. Got it?"

"Is that how this is supposed to work?"

"Yes." I answered, "So stop being a _butthead_." I smacked his arm as hard as I dared, and unfortunately for him, he had to laugh. It was a quiet one, but clearly a laugh. Also unfortunately for him, I had to continue, "And if you ever disappear for days like that again, I'll come find you myself and kick your sorry ass from here to-"

"Easy." He chuckled, "Damn. I'm sorry."

"You better be." I grumbled, crossing my arms, "Do you know how freaking worried I've been?"

"When did you get so bossy?"

"Yesterday." I replied, "When you weren't back yet."

A tired laugh behind me finally alerted me to the fact that Bella was in the room. Forgetting my rant, I turned and looked at her. She was also still in one piece, and still looked okay, but tired. Whether that was from the quick flight home, or because of the baby, I didn't know.

"Sorry." I told her, laughing a little myself.

"No." She replied, shaking her head, "Please. Continue. I'm taking notes." I laughed again.

"I'm normally not this mean at him." I said, choosing to sit on the other end of the couch she was seated on, "He pissed me off, though."

"That's a good reason to get mean." She nodded a little.

"Is nobody on my side?" Mikah asked.

"No." I snapped his direction, "Now shut up."

He smirked, obviously doubting so I held up my fist at him. His resulting laughter had me laugh as well, because we both knew I wasn't serious. My fist stayed raised, so he stepped closer and covered my entire hand with one of his.

"Really, princess." He murmured, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I won't let it happen again."

"You say that a lot." I pointed out, and he looked down, "Just saying." He didn't reply this time, so I pulled my hand from his, reached forward and hugged him. He returned it gently for several seconds before he pulled back.

"I really missed you." I told him firmly, "You didn't have to run off like that."

"I really wish you wouldn't do that." Jasper's grumble from the other side of the room had me glance over.

"I know, I know." I sighed, leaning back in my seat, "Rules and all that. It's kinda dumb, though, isn't it? I mean, I'm still alive."

"Leandra," Jasper replied, "Don't even start."

"Yeah, yeah." I sighed again, but I was grateful for Bella's quiet laugh. It made me feel better knowing she was so entertained, as odd as that was to admit. I stretched out a little more, focusing now on the plate of fruit sitting on the coffee table in front of her. I was slightly jealous, as I never got to eat in the living room, but then I figured a few exceptions could be made for her.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked, looking over at her.

"Not particularly." She replied hesitantly.

"You probably should eat." I said, "While you still can, I mean."

"You're referring to the baby?" She asked, and I nodded.

"It sucks super bad when you find out that you can't eat anymore," I mumbled, "But you just gotta stay on top of it, you know? You'll know." I nodded again, confident this time.

She nodded as well, before she spoke again, "What did you say I named it?"

"That 'it' should be a girl." I replied, "And 'her' name is supposed to be Renesmee."

"I still think it's a boy." She smiled a little, "Renesmee is a beautiful name, though."

"It should be." I said, "You came up with it. I call her 'Ness' though, just because it's easier to say."

"Ness I think is fine." She nodded a little, "But I wouldn't try 'Nessie'."

I couldn't help laughing a little at the irony. I'd heard of Nessie before, just a brief discussion at school, but I had a fairly good idea of why that would bother her.

"No." I finally said, "Ness is easier." I paused for a second, "I wish I had a nickname."

"You do." Mikah pointed out, "Princess? Shorty?"

"No." I said, "I mean a shorter name than my name. My name is kind of long, isn't it?"

"Your name is awesome." He assured me.

"I wish." I joked, "It would be awesome if my name was awesome."

"Oh, ha." Mikah muttered, tossing me a look.

"But as far as I can tell," I returned to the previous subject, "I think Ness likes her name."

"You talk about her like you already know her." Bella found that amusing.

"I do." I replied easily, reaching forward and snagging an untouched grape from her plate. She didn't seem to mind that, and I didn't mind telling her all she wanted to know. Considering it was her baby she was asking about. Nobody else seemed to mind me telling her these things either, considering Bella already seemed more relaxed.

"What is she going to be like?" She asked, obviously interested.

"Well.." I muttered, shrugging a little, "She's going to be a baby. Doing normal baby things. Except she likes blood more than anything else. She's stronger than me, and she tries to bite me a few times, but after Edward tells her no, she starts to get it."

"She understands?" Bella asked, surprised.

"Oh," I nodded, "Yeah. She's super smart too. She just can't really show it right away. That takes a few days."

"Wait.." She hesitated, "She tries to bite you? With what teeth?"

"She's born with teeth." I answered, snagging another grape. Glancing over at her silence, she looked pretty pale, "But don't worry. Her teeth are so she could chew her way out when she wants to get born, but-"

I couldn't finish that as she jumped up, sprinting for the bathroom. Her relaxed state seemed abruptly over.

"But nobody lets that happen." I finished anyway, watching after her. I blinked in surprise at the slamming of the door shut, "Was it something I said?"

"I don't think she knew that particular detail." Alice sighed. I shook it off, stealing yet another grape off of her plate.

"How else are they supposed to get out of there?" I asked mid-chew, "It's not like it's a regular baby."

"Leandra," Edward spoke, and I looked over, "The way you speak of these things.. It's like you've experienced it yourself."

I frowned, confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I thought that was a given?

"You speak about these things like it's not only Bella's experience you're referring to, but your own as well." He clarified, and I looked back down in thought.

Eventually, I shrugged. I didn't understand it any more than he did.

"Maybe I'm just better at remembering than I thought." I suggested, giving in and finally pulling Bella's plate to myself.

"Leandra." Alice seemed to disapprove of my blatant act of food theft.

"I don't think she's going to be hungry for awhile." I defended myself, "I can even hear her throwing up, and I'm way out here."

"That isn't the point." She sighed, but didn't protest any further. Probably because I'd had more of an appetite today than I had all week.

"That was mean." Mikah chuckled.

"What?" I asked, "I didn't know she'd throw up. If I did, I swear I would have been more careful about what I said." I stood up, taking the now half-empty plate with me as I headed for the kitchen.

I found Esme just finishing up the last few pancakes, placing them on a stack by the stove. With the plate of fruit balanced in one arm, I reached over and stole one.

"Leandra," She laughed, "I suggest using a plate." It was a little warm, freshly made, so I didn't argue as she held a plate out for me. I plopped it down onto the plate, shaking my hand out.

"Is that Bella's plate?" Esme asked as I found a seat at the counter.

"She's throwing up." I replied, "So I don't think she's going to want it." It was almost weird how hungry I was today, but I wasn't complaining. I knew never to complain when my appetite picked up.

Bella came to find me a few minutes later, and I looked over. She slowly approached, Edward directly behind her like she'd grown an Edward-shaped tail in the last few minutes.

"I'm sorry." She said, "About.. That."

"Nah." I replied, "Don't worry. That's probably going to happen a lot, so it'll probably be easier to get used to it now. Pancake?" I held one up for her, "They're banana." Though she smiled a little, she shook her head. I accepted that, plopping the pancake I'd offered for her onto my own plate instead. That would be my third.

"Sorry I made you puke." I told her, and she smiled again.

"It wasn't your fault." She replied, carefully taking the seat beside mine, "I just pictured that, and.." I nodded. I understood.

I suddenly remembered something.

"Mikah." I called toward the living room, probably startling Bella as she wasn't expecting it. A second later, he stood just behind Edward.

"You called?" Mikah asked.

"You stay where I can see you." I pointed my fork at him, "Or you might run off again."

"Oh, geez.." Esme laughed, placing a glass of water in front of Bella.

"When did shorty get so bossy again?" Emmett, who I hadn't seen all morning, suddenly showed up as well. Rosalie beside him, bringing the kitchen population to crowded.

"She's always bossy when it comes to me." Mikah answered for me since my mouth was full.

"Because I can be." I added when I cleared my mouth enough.

"She bosses you around?" Bella asked him, surprised.

"All the time." Mikah replied, smiling a little, "That hasn't changed a bit since I've known her."

"I knew him when he was human." I filled her in, to which she nodded a little, "He's still new, so Jasper throws a fit whenever he's too close to me."

"Not that I can blame him any." Edward murmured, obviously a little nervous, given the way he glanced toward him.

"He'll be good." I assured him, "If he's not, then he just goes outside."

"How, if he's not allowed to leave your sight?" Bella asked, and I hesitated.

"Uh.." She had me there.

"Freedom!" Mikah chuckled, obviously joking as he turned around.

"For now!" I called after him as he left the kitchen, "Ten minutes, mister! Or I'll stab my fork in your eye!"

"Yes, ma'am!" He called in return.

"Such violence." Bella noted, and I shrugged.

"That's nothing." I replied, though I doubted she'd forgotten the things I told her several months ago around graduation time.

The rest of the day seemed to pass effortlessly. With Mikah back where I could see him, and even though Edward and Bella had returned, I felt better than I had since before the wedding.

I figured it could have been because Edward was back. If anything involving Jack were to happen, he'd know it. At least, I assumed so. I doubted anything involving Jack would happen, though, now that the rest of my family were less inclined to leave me by myself.

I felt protected again. Like things had gone back to the way they should be for the time being.

It seemed to relieve Mikah how I didn't really treat him any differently than I usually did. He was still unhappy with himself, I could tell, but it wasn't nearly what it was when he left.

I spent most of the day outside, visiting with Cole and Mikah while Bella recovered inside from the long trip back.

I hadn't seen Carlisle much all day, but towards the evening, he stepped outside with us. Without a word spoken between the two of them, Cole gave him a nod, and I watched as Carlisle gestured for him to come inside.

"Should I know what that was all about?" I asked, watching after Cole as he headed into the house.

"Nah." Mikah replied, coming to stand with me on the porch, "Nothing big."

"So.." I muttered, accepting that, "What do you do when you're gone?"

"I mostly do a lot of thinking." He murmured.

"About what?" I asked, sitting down on the bench behind me.

"Lots of things." He replied, "It's hard to just pick one thing, princess." I knew that feeling real well.

"Do you think about your family?" I wondered, and he looked down briefly.

"Every second."

"Do you ever go see them?" Where were these questions coming from? Just curiosity, I assumed.

He hesitated, obviously having trouble with that answer.

"No." He finally replied gently, "I don't, because I know myself, and it'd be too hard to keep my distance from them. Cole checks on them for me now and then."

"Sorry I couldn't check on them for you while I was over there." I muttered, "I kinda had to go wherever Heather and Mike went."

"It's alright, princess." He smiled a little, "That's not your job."

"I know." I replied, "But I still wish I could have. I kinda miss them too." I hesitated, though, glancing toward the trees, "We shouldn't be talking about this."

"Why do you say that?"

"Someone might hear." I admitted, shrugging a little, "I didn't think about that before."

"You're still convinced Jack is out there?" He asked, and I nodded immediately.

"The only ones out there are Cole's coven." He assured me, "If anyone was there that shouldn't be, they'd be the first to know."

"Then why's Cole inside talking to Carlisle?" I asked and he smiled a little. He didn't answer right away, glancing toward the house for a second before sighing.

"I guess it can't hurt to tell you." He murmured, "Cole and his coven went looking last night. Suffice it to say, it was very effective. They managed to confirm that Jack hasn't been working alone." I frowned, "He has not just one on his side, but several."

"How do you know?" I asked, standing up slowly.

"The scents we found." He replied, "It's safe to assume they're his."

"So he's got a coven of his own?" I frowned deeper, not liking that thought one bit.

"Between Cole's coven and us, I'm sure we've got more than enough if he were to try anything." He said, shaking his head.

"Are you stupid?" I had to ask, and that seemed to surprise him, so I went on, "If they found a scent, it's because Jack wanted them to find it. Haven't you learned anything from all this?"

"More than likely," He replied, "Jack just made a mistake."

"He doesn't make mistakes." I insisted, "Every step he takes has a reason behind it. Just like this does."

"We'll see." He tried to calm me down, "We figured with Bella here now, it's worth looking into."

"You figured wrong." I snapped, "Don't look into it. He's baiting you."

He smiled a little, "Princess-"

"Don't fall for it." I insisted again, " _Please_ don't fall for it." He hesitated once more, glancing toward the house, "Just.. Think about it for a second. If he didn't want you to find him, you wouldn't find him. He proved that here, didn't he? Do you really think he'd be dumb enough to make a mistake like leaving a scent _anywhere_ anyone could find it if he didn't want you to find it? I get wanting to find him, but not this way. Not when it's his idea."

"Okay." He quieted my rambling, "I'll talk to Cole about it."

"Promise?" I had to make sure.

"I promise." He replied easily, before he laughed, "You're gonna be one hell of a teenager."

"What do you mean?"

"You've definitely got the art of arguing down pat." He answered, "You know how to get your way."

"It's not about that." I grumbled, and he chuckled again.

"I know." He replied, "But it's not the reason why that's the point."

"If it works, I'm okay with that." I muttered, looking down.

"You're okay." He assured me, "I'll talk to Cole and Carlisle later on, and see if I can't change their minds about all this." I nodded a little, accepting that as I took a deep breath.

"You look tired." He pointed out.

"I'm always tired." I replied, "Even if I get a lot of sleep, I'm always tired."

"Tell me, princess." He muttered, and I looked over, "You never had problems sleeping while you were with Heather."

"I did sometimes." I replied, "But not like this. I don't know why."

"Because you had things to do during the day." He answered, "You were constantly outside, doing things."

"Maybe." I sighed, "But it's not like I can be outside like that anymore."

"On the contrary." He smiled a little, "I think you're more than watched right where you are."

"Maybe that's part of the problem." I said, "I don't know who's watching me."

"I'm watching you."

"Yeah." I allowed, biting my lip, "But there's not a whole lot to do around here. There's the rope in the backyard but that's.. Pretty boring, when I got used to doing a whole lot more."

"Like what?" He asked, leaning against the railing beside me.

"We'd always go places." I replied, "I got to move around. Remember in New York? I got better at sleeping when I got to walk to your house all the time. Now I can't even go outside if there's nobody out here." He nodded slowly, understanding better now.

"Sitting around, waiting for something to go wrong isn't the best life for anyone." He finally murmured, "How did you ever give up that kind of relief to come back here?"

"I wanted to be here." I answered easily, "It wasn't hard to figure that out. I'd give up anything if I can be home."

"But this is nothing compared to there."

"That's where you're wrong." I said, leaning against the railing as well, "Nowhere else will be home to me. It's the first place I ever actually felt safe. The first place I ever felt what it was like to not be scared of the people around me. The first place I ever knew what it was like to actually be _able_ to sleep through the night. The first place I learned that not everybody was like Jack. That beats _any_ thing I could ever have anywhere else."

Looking over, his smile was almost admiring before I looked back down.

"I guess it seems hard to get to someone else." I went on, "I don't see here as somewhere that I can't have what I want. I see here as everything I've already been given. That means more to me than anything."

"You're amazing, you know that?" He asked, and I laughed a little.

"Not really." I said, "I don't see it like that."

"Tell me." He requested again, "How was it so easy for you to forgive me for letting you down so badly?"

"You're my best friend." I replied instantly, "It was easy. Just like being here, I don't see it the way you see it. I see all the things you've already done for me, instead of the one thing you did wrong. It doesn't matter to me if you think it's a big thing. To me, it's _so_ small when I think about what you mean to me."

"Aw, princess.." He trailed off with a laugh and I looked over again. He was shaking his head at the porch, a smile across his face.

"What?" I asked, unable to help laughing as well, "It's true. Remember the graduation party? Yeah, we got in trouble for that, but you helped me. You always help me. You listen to me, you make me laugh when I'm not really in the mood to laugh, and you calm me down when I'm mad. You've always been that way, too. You make it easy to talk. You make problems that seems so huge to me at the time seem smaller. You make me see them in a different way. How could I not forgive you?"

I laughed again as he reached over and hugged me against his side. It was a firm hug, so I knew it meant a lot to him. Compared to his usual gentle hugs. I returned it as tightly as I could, appreciating the embrace.

"How could I ever have been so stupid?" He asked, but I had a feeling he was asking more for himself than for me to answer, so I stayed quiet. I let him keep his hold and I kept mine, but I knew he'd have to let go soon.

"You're growing up, princess." He murmured, "And my heart breaks for you."

"Why?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Because you're growing up so quick." He answered, "Nobody let you be little when you were little." It was the discussion with Jasper the day before all over again. Why was everyone just now figuring this out?

"Oh." I muttered in response. I didn't know what else to say. I sighed, "I've never been little."

"That's the problem." He sighed as well, "If I had known you'd grow up overnight, I would have made a rule. No growing up for at least five more years. I thought you still had more time." I laughed quietly at that, but I knew he was serious.

"Too late for that, I guess." I smiled a little, finally pulling away from the hug.

I yelped, surprised as I was suddenly whipped off my feet. Swung around and flipped upside down, pinned against a solid side with one arm. One glance told me it was Emmett that held me, so that yelp was quickly followed by a loud laugh at his tickling of my sides.

"Too late?" Emmett demanded, "I think not!" Of course, I squirmed, but I wasn't going anywhere, "Take it back!"

I couldn't take it back, laughing too much to take a breath, much less talk. I must have managed to kick him in the head several times, but that didn't bother him any.

"Stop!" I finally managed to gasp out, and thankfully, he did. Chuckling as he continued to hold me upside down as I fought to catch my breath. Bouncing me a little bit, shaking me upside down which was a little more tolerable than the tickling. With being pinned, every downward bounce, I lost my breath a little more with a laughing groan.

"It's not too late." He told me firmly over my laughing, but I knew he was joking.

"S'Cuse me." I grumbled, kicking my feet a little and he paused.

"Yes?" He peered closer.

"I'm upside down." I pointed out as if that wasn't obvious, "Can I at least be right side up while you lie to yourself?"

Naturally, that didn't have the effect I wanted as he growled, "Why you.." He started tickling me again and I was stuck upside down longer.

The second he flipped me upright, though, I nearly fell over. Thankfully, he caught me with a chuckle, hugging me tight as Mikah had done. Truthfully, I'd missed that. It felt like too long since the last time he'd done that, and it was nice to know that I hadn't outgrown that yet.

"Esme's fixing dinner." He told me, "It should be done in a little while." I nodded, taking the hint and heading inside. With a last glance at Mikah, I smiled a little. He returned that smile, so I knew he didn't mind Emmett's interruption too much.

I met Esme in the kitchen, sighing with a residual smile as I found my seat. I loved it when they managed to cheer me up. Especially after how tough of a time I'd been having.

"Hi, honey." Esme greeted quietly, noting my small smile with one of her own.

"That smells awesome." I replied, unable to help it. It really did.

"I'm glad you approve." She laughed a little. As if I ever disapproved of anything she made.

"So.." I muttered, "Where am I sleeping tonight?" I knew I couldn't keep taking up their room.

"Wherever you're comfortable." She answered, "Sleeping in our room seems to be helping you."

"But I don't want to keep hogging it." I replied, "Especially when I have my own perfectly good room to sleep in."

"Honey, we don't mind." She assured me again, "Not in the least. If you're uncomfortable in your own room, then we're happy to provide ours."

"I think I should try mine again." I admitted, "With everyone here now, it would be easier I think."

That seemed to surprise her, "Are you sure, sweetheart?"

I nodded a little, sighing again, "I need to get over it sooner or later, right? It doesn't make much sense to say I'm not mad at anybody, but still be afraid of my room. Still being afraid of my room is like the opposite of what I keep saying."

"If that's what you want." She replied, "But remember. The offer will always stand, sweetie." I nodded again, taking a breath. The thought of setting foot in my room longer than the amount of time it took to gather clothes set me on edge, but I knew I couldn't keep this up. I was tired of running from things, having a reason to or not.

I was asked the day before to just be brave. That didn't just apply to right then, and I knew that. It was time to face that.

True to my own word, I was back in my own bed that night. Tired enough to sleep, but afraid to close my eyes. Of course Esme sat with me, and as much as that helped, I was still nervous. The door across the room was wide open, and I could hear quiet conversation just up the hall. I recognized Cole's voice among the many others, but it was too quiet for me to hear anything specific.

"Just right there." I mumbled after several minutes of silence, "He was just right there." My gaze was stuck where I'd last seen Jack.

"I know, sweetheart." Esme murmured in reply, smoothing my hair from beside where I laid, "Sleep."

I trusted her not to leave me. She'd proven herself more than once in the passed week, so I knew I could trust her, which was how I managed to hesitantly close my eyes at all. Sighing heavily, I focused on slowing my nervous breathing.

I woke up a few times after letting myself fall asleep, but I was never awake longer than a few minutes and after about the third time I woke up, I finally let myself sleep.

It was a little hard to tell I was dreaming when it finally started. A little like with my visions, but this was nothing like that. It was real in the sense that it'd already happened. Once again, I dreamed about Jack, but this was a more distant memory dream. Something I hadn't dreamed about in awhile, if at all.

In this dream, I was just getting home from school, stepping through the door of my mom's house in Sappho. I was feeling puzzled, but not particularly afraid. Unless I was just so used to being scared that it didn't register to me in this dream.

"Leandra." Jack's calling voice from the master bedroom across the house startled me a little, almost real in the way it echoed. Making me look that direction instinctively.

I remembered this now.

In my dream, I followed Jack's voice to find him sitting in the bedroom, staring at the closet. This was the day my mom left. The day that Alice and Carlisle had first given me a ride home from school, dropping me off here.

Looking closer at the scene, I saw it in a different way now that I had at the time. Like with the dreams recalling the wedding, I could see it better. Clearer. Something about that closet bothered him. Something I never saw when it first happened.

The rest of the conversation didn't continue the way it had in the memory, but we both stayed silent. He just kept staring at that closet with a subtle mix of intense anger, and what I saw now as deep sadness.

When he finally looked at me, I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Back to his normal dark ice colored blue eyes, his stare was far more powerful now than it was recently. Somehow, his blue eyes were far more expressive than they were as their now crimson color.

Maybe it was the dream, but that was what I observed. I observed the way they hardened as they landed on me. Coloring his gaze were so many combinations of emotions. A strong mix of confusion and disgust. A mix of hatred and curiosity. Dare I think it, a mix of fear and intrigue.

A mix of intense anger and deep sadness.

I didn't look away from his gaze. I didn't look back to the floor like I usually did. I continued to look, and on my face I could feel a frown. In that frown, I knew, held the same emotions he looked at me with. Like a mirror.

It felt like a year. A solid year that I stood there staring at him, trying to figure out the things he wasn't telling me. A solid year that he sat there staring at me, doing the same. It was intense, but I didn't feel it. I didn't feel the emotions I knew I felt. I didn't feel the emotions I knew he felt.

"What am I doing?" I finally broke the echoing, drawn out silence. I hadn't the slightest clue why I asked that question, and it really wasn't like I expected him to answer me. That was the only question I could think to ask, though.

The way I worded that question changed. It flipped around, mirrored itself until I hadn't actually asked it. Instead, I'd asked, "What are you doing?"

Like he was disappointed, he shook his head. Like my confusion brought him shame. He gave me one last look before he turned his gaze back onto the closet. Like I was no longer worth his time.

Anger welled in me like I'd never known before at his obvious lack of interest, and as much as I hated that anger, I hated him even more. I was so tired of it. I was so tired of it all. His lack of answers, his mind games. His intense need to torment me when I'd done nothing to him.

"Jack!" My voice broke painfully, sudden infuriated tears ripping free almost violently. The sound of my own voice hurting me, wounding me like it was something physical. Echoing through my mind in a way that grated my nerves raw.

I hated him so much. I hated his indifference, I hated the pain he inflicted. I didn't cry now only out of anger, though. I knew that. I cried now at the sharp, aching pain I was reminded of residing in my heart. All the ways my heart had broken over the years still hurt me now. A pain I'd always buried. I was mad, sure. I was pissed off and angry. I hated him, but I was also hurt.

I was also suddenly awake. Anger made me wake up swinging, just aching to make contact with something, anything. Anyone. I couldn't handle this amount of anger without reacting to it.

"Princess." Mikah put a stop to that, and I instantly recognized his hands pinning mine safely to my stomach. I hardly noticed now the way I sobbed, as it was intensely confusing to me. It was a lot like my heartbroken cries, or my fearful cries, but these cries held a brand new tone to them I wasn't used to hearing coming from myself.

"Easy." Mikah spoke again, more urgently as I kicked at the bed in my anger. My hands were still pinned, but I was beginning to calm down.

It took me a few minutes, but the longer I laid there, looking up at him seated beside me, I calmed down enough to stop crying. The more I calmed down, the looser his hold became on my hands, smoothing easy circles over the skin of my wrist. That definitely helped.

The more I calmed down, though, the more I looked around. Esme wasn't with me.

"She's out in the living room." He explained, knowing what I was looking for, "Heather stopped by this morning." That surprised me. I moved to sit up, and he allowed it. Helping me upright and releasing my captive wrists at the same time. His gaze was deeply concerned, "What was it, princess?"

"I think I finally figured it out." I sniffled quietly.

"Figured what out?" He asked, still concerned as he lightly cleared a thick strand of my hair from my damp cheeks.

"Those dreams." I explained, "The ones where I kept hearing my name. It was something I remembered, and a dream I kept having."

"I see." He replied gently, "Is that a good thing?"

"I don't know." I mumbled, glancing up at him, "I can't tell yet. I woke up mad. Really mad. The dream was about Jack. The day my mom first left."

"Ah." He sighed, "Then it was bad."

"I don't know. I can't tell yet." I repeated. He seemed confused, so I went on, "I wasn't afraid in the dream. Not like I was when it actually happened. I don't know how to explain it." I looked down with a sigh, reaching up and rubbing my eye roughly with my hand.

"You weren't afraid?" He prompted.

"No." I answered, "I was mad. I hated him, but he hated me too. He was mad, but I was mad. He hated me, but I hated him. It was like we felt the same things, the same way at the same time. I think I was everything _but_ afraid."

"That sounds really confusing." He murmured, and I nodded a little.

"It was."

"But what did this dream have to do with you waking up to your name being called?" He asked, curious.

"The memory, the dream started as the day my mom left." I explained quietly, "The first day Alice and Carlisle took me home from school." He nodded a little, following so far, "I wasn't in my room for more than a minute before he called me into his bedroom. That was where he told me he'd try more with me, but he took me to California instead."

"That memory must mean something important to you if you're having recurring dreams about it." He pointed out, "It's a pivotal moment in your life, true, but maybe something more?"

"What's pivotal mean?"

"It describes a moment in your life when things changed drastically." He replied, and I nodded a little. That sounded accurate. He went on, "I think there's something you're looking for in that moment that you can't see yet."

"I know what that's like." I sighed, "But mostly that happens with stuff that hasn't happened yet."

"You're only human, princess." He murmured gently, "You're going to have moments that mean more than others. Especially now that you crave more to figure things out about yourself."

We fell silent for a moment before I looked up again.

"You said Heather's here?" I frowned. It was pretty early for her to visit.

"She didn't hear you." He assured me, misinterpreting my frown as worry.

"What's she doing here?" I asked, hesitant. He hesitated as well, looking down. There was something he didn't want to say. I spoke again, "Is it safe to go out and see her, at least?"

"Yeah." He replied, "It's safe, but you might not like what you find."

"I always like to see Heather." I muttered, scooting my way out of bed.

As much trouble as I knew it could cause, I was happy to see Heather seated in the living room after the last few days. I ran forward, nearly running into the back of the chair as I hugged her neck from behind.

Given her quiet yelp, I'd surprised her, but she laughed as she patted my arms.

"Hi, honey." She greeted me. It seemed a little odd to me that she was sitting in here alone. Where had everyone gone?

"Hi." I greeted in return, releasing her so I could round the chair to sit on the couch, "What brings you by?"

"Well," She sighed, "I came to see you, as I was hoping you could answer something for me."

Before I could ask what she meant by that, a noise from the kitchen had me look that direction. Very confused at the sound of an older baby's babbling. I knew that babble.

"Is that Hunter?" I asked, surprised. Before she could really answer, Esme came into the room, Hunter sitting in her arm.

"That would be Hunter." Heather confirmed.

"What's he doing here?" I frowned a little, confused. I wasn't as upset at seeing him as I was confused that he was here without my mom. Confused, I gave another glance around. Definitely not seeing my mom.

"That's what I was hoping to talk to you about." Heather sighed as Esme handed Hunter to her, "This little guy just showed up at our place this morning."

"Showed up?" I frowned deeper. That didn't sound normal. It wasn't exactly like he was too mobile. It wasn't exactly like he could just run away, steal a car, and take himself to Heather's house.

"I didn't even know he was outside." She explained, adjusting him on her lap, "Perfectly fine, but crying his poor little head off. This was in his pocket." She reached over, picking an unfolded piece of paper up off of the table. I took it from her carefully, looking it over.

It was a note, and it was clearly in my mom's handwriting. The words were both apologetic and pleading, begging Heather to take Hunter in and not to look for answers. That really didn't sound like someone who'd just gotten their life together.

With a deep frown, I looked toward Esme. Her expression mirrored my own, so she knew what I was thinking. She was thinking the same thing.

"If you're wondering," I mumbled to Heather, looking over the note again, "I don't know why she'd just drop him off like that, but she's not exactly afraid to leave her kids behind. She seemed.. I dunno. I really thought she'd do right by him, no matter what it took."

"Do you really think she'd just leave him?" Heather asked quietly, "Or should I be busy filing a missing persons report?"

"That wouldn't do any good." I mumbled, still focused on the words written across the page.

"Why not?" She asked, and I looked over. I looked to Hunter first, before looking up at her.

"She won't be found if she doesn't want to be found." Or if Jack didn't want her found. Without even knowing why, I fought the urge to cry. It was difficult not to, but I distracted myself by reaching out and taking Hunter's hand in my fingers.

She spoke again, quieter now, "Do you think Jack has anything to do with it?"

I hesitated, unsure if I should answer her, but she sounded like she needed to know. She didn't need details. She just needed to know. She needed some sort of answer. I thought fast. As much as I knew Jack was probably behind this, I couldn't tell her that.

"Maybe.." I muttered, "But maybe her new boyfriend has something to do with it too."

"Ian?" She asked, surprised, "I didn't even think about that."

"I don't know anything about him," I sighed, "So I don't know if he liked Hunter or not. I do know that she wouldn't give Hunter up if she had any other choice, though, and I know Jack would want Hunter with him. Just because he's his son." Damn I was good. Given Heather's nod, she agreed with me. Jack would have done anything to keep his son with him as a human.

I looked up at her again, "Will you keep him?"

"Of course." Heather replied softly, gently stroking his longer hair, "I won't let him go to some stranger. It just doesn't make much sense to me."

"Things like this never do." I pointed out, shaking my head. I felt so bad for Hunter suddenly. Even if he had no idea what was going on, he was just as screwed as I was. I took his hand again.

Feeling him gripping my fingers in return, I saw him in a different way now. He wasn't a mini Jack like I'd stupidly worried he'd be. If my mom wanted him with Heather, it was for a reason and he'd be there for a good while. Heather would raise him to be good. He'd grow up to be a good person. I was sure of it. Heather would make sure of it.

"Can I hold him?" I asked, and with a small smile, Heather agreed.

"Of course." She repeated, carefully lifting him and settling him gently on my lap. Hunter didn't seem to mind that in the least. Sitting contentedly on my lap. I remembered what I'd learned about holding Kaylee, but this was different. He wasn't quite as fragile as Kaylee had been, but I still felt the need to be careful. Like I was afraid to move too quickly, or accidentally tip him over or drop him or something.

I still had my issues with him, but those issues weren't because of who his father was anymore. Looking into his eyes, the few brief times he'd met my gaze, I couldn't figure it out.

It must have been so nice. To literally have no idea what was going on. To have no concept of danger, or fear or pain. To look at everything and find it interesting, even if it was something he'd seen before. To smile so effortlessly at someone who'd hated him not long ago.

"Okay." I mumbled, "I'm done holding him now." With a small laugh, Heather reached over and pulled him from me. Esme gently smoothed my hair beside me, and I sighed.

"No," Heather spoke again, "I don't think I'd be able to let him go to some stranger."

"What did Mike say?" I wondered.

"He's.." She sighed as well, "He's confused, but he's accepting. He knows Hunter has nowhere else to go, and considering he's my nephew, he's willing to take him in. I actually think he's more excited about it than I am."

"He's a good dad." I agreed, "I'm not surprised."

"You know," She admitted, "I can't help wishing your mom had managed to drop you with me that day so long ago."

"When I was a baby?" I remembered that story. I was just surprised Heather knew about it. She nodded.

"I know you would have been far better off." She murmured, "I would have killed him before I let him near you."

"I know." I mumbled, and it was true. I did know.

Heather was only here a little while before she was on her way home. We watched her leave, and I really couldn't help hugging Esme's side. It seemed colder today, but I knew that had more to do with my mood than the weather.

"She's gone again." I mumbled, and Esme hugged my shoulders tighter in response.

"Alice and Jasper are in Sequim." She murmured, "They're going to see what they can find."

"Maybe he heard me yesterday." I suggested, "And he was mad that I changed Mikah's mind."

"Nobody's been able to get a hold of your mother for awhile now." She pointed out, and I had to admit. She had a point. It couldn't have been anything I did specifically, so that made me feel a little better.

"Nothing." I looked over at Jasper and Alice's sudden arrival. Jasper sighed, "One faded scent, but it was far too old to follow."

"It was Jack." I muttered, "Nobody else would want her."

"We'll find her." Alice started, "Don't-"

"Not alive." I shook my head a little, "If she gave Hunter away, she did it for a reason. She did it to protect him, but what I can't figure out is how she could give him away if Jack didn't want her to?"

"Maybe he wanted to." Alice sighed as well, "You're always saying how he wants to protect his family. Hunter would mean more to him than anyone, given the fact that Hunter is his son."

"True." I frowned a little, "So it was both of their ideas?"

"Probably." She replied, "We've established that Jack has a coven of his own."

"I can only imagine the types of individuals that he's found." Esme muttered, obviously uncomfortable.

"Having any kind of human around them is dangerous enough." Alice went on, "Much less a small one." That reminded me of what Cole had mentioned the day before.

"Maybe that's why Jack wants me to stay here instead?" I murmured.

"Instead of taking you?" Jasper asked, and I nodded, "He's certainly had plenty of opportunity to take you."

"And he hasn't." I pointed out, "He.. Sort of gets mad every time Heather or the boys show up here, so I wonder if he'll know about Heather's visit today. That makes me nervous."

"He gets upset?"

"Yeah." I replied, "That's why he was here the last time. Because Heather and the boys had come over. He doesn't think it's safe with Aro out there somewhere."

"So.." Jasper frowned, "He's worried that Aro will somehow know that Heather and the others are regular visitors?"

"I think so."

"Why would that matter?" Alice asked, "Unless he knows something about Aro's plans that we don't, but I haven't seen anything regarding his decisions."

"Maybe it's not set yet." I suggested, "Maybe he's just thinking about it. Maybe Jack just wants to be careful."

"Let's hope that doesn't change." We all looked over as Edward joined us outside.

"Yeah." I agreed wholeheartedly with that.

"How would Jack even know anything about Aro?" Jasper asked the question I hadn't even thought to ask, "He should be more concerned about himself at this stage of his new life."

"He knows enough to know that I'm important to him." I replied, "I never asked how he knew. I never thought to."

"So much isn't adding up." Alice murmured.

"Nothing about Jack ever does." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"Absolutely not." Edward's firm tone had me looking over at him, surprised, but his eyes were on Jasper.

"I can't have been the only one considering it." He replied quietly, "If she's convinced Jack will be upset about Heather's visit-"

"No."

I caught on, "He _wants_ me to talk to Jack again."

"He's obviously not afraid to give information to you." Jasper reasoned, looking to me.

"He's also not afraid to hurt her." Edward snapped in reply, "How can you even _think_ about this?"

I thought about it. Maybe all this could somehow help them?

"I can deal with a few bruises if it'll help everyone out." I muttered, "But how would it even help if he won't show up with everyone around me?"

"You're not considering it." Esme was surprised.

"With this." Jasper murmured, pulling out his phone. I frowned.

"He'd see that."

"Not if it's hidden." He countered, "We'd know the moment he shows up."

"Jasper." Edward was getting more upset, "We're not doing this."

I had to consider it, though. Jasper was right. If we made sure his phone was hidden somewhere in my room, there's almost no way Jack would know it was there. If the phone was on, and connected to a call to someone else's phone, they'd know he was there the second he said anything.

Why had nobody thought of this before?

"You could catch him." I muttered, thinking further, "He's almost always in there alone. The last time, there was just one other guy there."

"No contest." Jasper nodded a little.

"Are you out of your mind?" Alice asked me, "Now you're _wanting_ Jack to show up?"

"There are quite a few more where that one other guy came from, Leandra." Edward pointed out, "We won't know what to expect if we even attempt-"

"I want to." I said, "It's a good idea."

"Are you kidding me?" Mikah came outside, "Tell me you're joking." I winced at his angry tone.

"It's a horrible idea." Alice countered, both of us ignoring Mikah, "We don't know what Jack is like when he gets cornered."

"Just have Emmett there." I suggested, "And Mikah." Mikah snorted.

"Emmett or Mikah wouldn't leave him alive for ten seconds," She replied, "Much less long enough to get any kind of information from him."

"Leandra," Mikah spoke up again, "You're smarter than that. You know full well this is a very bad idea, yet you're tempted?"

"I just want to help." I reasoned, but he shook his head.

"And who's to say that the next time he shows up, it'll be to leave you here?" Alice asked, "I'm convinced he's the one behind your mother's disappearance. Do you really want to join her?"

I winced again. That would be bad. She did have a point, and I had to admit that.

"No." I mumbled, "No, you're right." That seemed to relieve Esme as she hugged me again, and I hugged her in return. I really didn't want that. I couldn't even imagine how bad that would suck, being stuck with my mom. Wherever she was.

"Damn right we're right." Mikah grumbled before looking to Jasper, "Are you nuts?"

"Technically," Jasper replied, his tone slightly sharp, "It was Edward that brought it up."

"Edward wouldn't have brought it up had you not considered it." Mikah countered, "She's eleven, for crying out loud, and you're thinking about tossing her under the bus? What's wrong with you?"

"Obviously what we've been doing isn't working." Jasper countered, "There has been no progress made when it comes to Jack, and I'd like to see some results."

"Do it some other way." Mikah snapped, "But leave Leandra out of your desperation."

"Don't fight." I spoke up, gaining their attention, "Please don't fight." That seemed to ease them, despite the looks they gave each other. I spoke again, "So the idea wasn't so smart, but at least he _had_ an idea. Where's yours, Mikah?"

That definitely shut him up, looking down, but I could see he was far from happy.

"I'll find a way." He told me firmly, "One that doesn't involve sacrificing your safety for the sake of 'progress'." He gave Jasper another look, "It's a _bad_ idea." He turned, striding off the porch, heading for the trees. I released Esme and rounded to watch him.

"Mikah." I snapped, and surprisingly, he paused, "Don't do anything stupid."

He sighed, "I'm just going to talk to Cole. I'll be back in a little bit."

"You better." I muttered hesitantly, and as he turned again and left, I knew I had no choice but to believe him. It wasn't like I could follow him.

"He'll be okay." Edward spoke up, and I glanced over at him, "He has no intention of doing anything other than talking to Cole." That made me feel a little better, and I nodded with a sigh.

I spent most of that day with Bella, and though she seemed to be feeling a little better than the day before, I didn't expect that to last. I couldn't stop thinking about it, though, what Jasper had suggested. I knew it was useless to even think about it, as without everyone okay with it, it'd be impossible to pull off. Not only because of Cole and his group outside, but it'd be too easy to ensure I was never left alone.

Mikah showed back up sometime after noon with Cole in tow, and I assumed he'd talked about whatever he needed to talk about. Though, with Edward's eyes on me, he was fully aware of where my thoughts were.

I didn't see any other way, though. It'd be a major risk, but it'd also be a massive step forward if it worked. Nothing would change if nothing changed. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and all that happy shit.

"We're not that desperate yet." Edward murmured from his place beside Bella, commenting on my thoughts.

"When would we be?" I had to ask in return. Mikah's attention had been caught, as he looked over at me.

"Not again." Mikah grumbled.

"There's no guarantee he'd even show up." Alice sighed from the other side of the room.

"Princess," Mikah spoke again, and I looked to him once more, "Let me put it this way. If we're not allowed to go looking for him, you're not allowed to bring him here."

"That's different." I snapped in reply.

"How?" He asked sharply, "There are ways to go about this, but this is not it."

"He's right, Leandra." Alice added, regaining my attention again.

"It's worth a try, isn't it?" I asked, looking over at her, "If it works-"

" _If_ it works." She pointed out, "You can't even begin to imagine how many things can go wrong."

"I _know_." I sighed, disappointed, "I can't help it, though. I want to try."

"Try what?" Bella asked, interested.

"And that's another thing." Alice gestured to her, "Do you really want to put Bella in danger like that? Because inviting him in that way would put her in the middle of all that too."

"No." I replied instantly, which was true.

I really didn't want Bella anywhere around Jack. As it stood, she had absolutely no idea what a person could be like. How bad a person could be. There was no way she could, given the way she seemed to underestimate what I was capable of. Glancing over at her, her focus was on her hands. She looked tired again.

Telling her, really filling her in, wasn't fair to do to anybody. Much less someone as nice as she was.

"She has a general idea, Leandra." Edward murmured, gaining Bella's attention.

"Having a general idea is a lot different than really knowing." I pointed out quietly, "Nobody deserves to really know what that's like."

My attention was taken then by Carlisle coming from the kitchen. He was probably in there talking to Esme. I watched as he neared the stairs, and oddly, I had the urge to follow. Despite knowing how busy he was, I wanted to follow.

"Carlisle." I called, hopping up, "Wait."

He turned, seemingly surprised at my actions as well. I ascended the stairs behind him, slowing as I reached the step below his, "Can I talk to you?"

Besides the other day, it seemed like he and I had yet to really talk. He'd helped me a lot since I'd been home, so in a way, not having really spoken to him was a shame. I wanted to fix that.

"Of course." He replied, and I nodded. He nodded as well, gently urging me forward by the shoulder as he continued on up the stairs. I gratefully left the arguing behind, but I knew I'd probably wind up picking it up again as soon as I was done talking to Carlisle.

In Carlisle's office, so many books were open to various pages, and pages upon pages of printed material sat in neat piles across the edge of his desk. Now I understood what he was doing. I didn't understand a thing about anything he was looking at, but that wasn't really surprising.

"What's on your mind?" He asked as we entered, and hesitantly, I found the edge of a chair to sit on.

"Lots of stuff." I admitted quietly, "But I feel like I haven't really talked to you since I've been back."

"I apologize." He replied, "I've been so preoccupied."

"I know." I murmured, "It's not your fault, but I wanted to fix it."

"I admit," He spoke carefully, finding his own seat behind his desk, "I've been trying to give you enough space to think. I know it bothered you to be around me for a while."

"That wasn't your fault." I frowned a little. Slowly, I looked down as I continued, "I know what you mean, but.." I looked back up, "Do you remember when we first got back from New York, and I didn't sleep for like a week after what happened?"

"I remember." He nodded a little.

"Emmett said something about me not trusting you, and how much that bothered you." I went on, and he looked down this time, "I thought it was just me, and I thought I was just.. Messed up more than I thought I was before, because I couldn't help it. I didn't even notice what I was doing before he said something, but he was right, and I didn't like that."

He stayed quiet, listening to me talk, which I appreciated. My thoughts were hard enough to straighten out, so him staying quiet really let me get my thoughts out the way they needed out.

"When I remembered everything I remembered about that vision," I mumbled quietly, "I figured it out. It made sense to me. I didn't let myself trust you because I was afraid to. I just didn't know the reason why until then. I didn't know the reason why, but my mind did. I didn't want to trust you because trusting you would mean that I'd be counting on you, and to me, that had already made me hurt so bad.

"But.." I paused for a breath, "When I came back, it was because I wanted to try again. I thought.. Just because something happened that didn't really happen, why should that mean more than everything you've already done for me? I guess I just needed a little bit of time."

He smiled a little.

"I helped you the other day, because thinking about it, I knew that I would have to be the one to do it." I said, "I wanted to help you, because you'd know what to do. I was scared, but that didn't matter to me, because _you_ weren't. I was tired of being too scared to be any good to anyone, so instead of not talking about it, I talked about it. I guess I'm saying that I'm finally letting myself trust you. You know what you're doing way more than I do, so I have to trust you."

It was silent for a moment after I fell quiet. He was clearly thinking about all I told him and considering carefully how he should reply.

"Leandra," He finally spoke, "As much as your trust means to me, I don't want you to trust me because it's the last resort."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." He assured me, "What I mean, is I want you to trust me because you want to. I meant what I told you when we first discussed this. You've earned the right to reserve judgement until you can see for yourself that you're in good hands. That is a responsibility I refuse to take lightly. I want you to take your time. Rushing you is not my intention. It never has been, which is why I've never felt the need to talk to you about this before." I nodded a little, looking down.

"I want you to know that I would never make a single impulsive decision when it comes to your safety, and that includes at any point involving Aro." I kept my eyes down. He knew more about the vision than I thought he knew. He went on, "Leandra, you mean more to me than that. There hasn't been one moment, one single moment in time that I haven't thought about how a single decision could ever possibly impact you, and I don't anticipate that to change any time soon.

"I don't want you to trust me only because you feel it bothers me not to." He finished, "I want you to trust me because you feel safe enough to do so. The things I do for you are not only for earning your eventual trust. I do the things I do for you because I know it's what's best for you. Do you understand the difference?"

Hesitantly, I nodded a little, taming the emotion I felt a little before I spoke.

"I understand." I replied, "I know that, and that's why I trust you. It's not because it's the only thing left to do. I trust you because you know what you're doing, and I don't. You always know what you're doing, and you've known what you're doing since I've known you. As scared as I am of what could happen, it doesn't mean as much as the things that already have."

He smiled again, nodding as well. He understood better what I was saying.

All afternoon, we talked. About everything I could think of, and for once, I wasn't just talking to try to make someone see my point of view. I felt that Carlisle was the only one, besides Esme, that I could do that with. I felt a lot better having had the chance to talk to him after everything that had been going on the last few months, and to finally know where I stood when it came to him.

It felt like it'd been so long since I'd talked with him like this, and I began to realize just how much my views had changed on subjects we discussed now that we'd discussed in the past. A few were still the same, but otherwise, most were different. I knew he noticed this too, but unlike everyone else I'd talked with lately, he didn't point it out.

Needless to say, I appreciated that talk. There hadn't been very many talks I'd had lately that actually cheered me up. There was one more subject, though, that I wanted to cover.

"Did you hear?" I asked hesitantly. He glanced down at his desk, obviously unhappy with what he knew I meant.

"I heard." He replied, "If you're asking my opinion on it, it's quite difficult."

"How?" I mumbled.

"On one hand," He sighed, "I understand where Jasper is coming from. I understand the need to put an end to all of this, so any idea at this point sounds like a good one."

"On the other hand?" I prompted, curious.

"On the other hand," He went on, "What he's not considering, and what has yet to be pointed out, is our mindset several months ago. In a sense, the tables have turned, and it worries me." I frowned, confused.

"They have?"

"Yes." He replied, "Several months ago, it was a matter of waiting. Anticipating the moment when Jack himself would make a mistake out of desperation."

"Now, he's waiting for us to do that." I understood now, surprised that nobody had thought of that yet.

"Exactly." He sighed again, "By that thinking, it gives Jack the upper hand. Essentially, it tells me that the playing field is no longer level. To know that we're reaching that point, it worries me."

"It could work." I murmured.

"I'm not looking for a plan that could possibly work, Leandra." He replied, "I'm waiting for a plan that would definitely work, with minimal risk to you."

"I don't think that's possible." I sighed as well, leaning back in my chair.

"Alice is right, I'm afraid. Inviting him in like that has far too many risks to balance the potential benefits."

"So we don't do it here." I suggested, "It could be anywhere. He'd still find me."

"Where it happens isn't the point." He shook his head a little, "Anywhere other than here, anyone waiting would need to be far enough away that he wouldn't know they were nearby. That gives him more than enough time to grab you, _and_ have a head start if he were to decide to take you.

"If it were to happen here, it brings trouble here. On all of us, considering Jack is more than likely not alone. Depending on his numbers, that could be a very bad thing."

"How many could he have?" I asked, "With Cole here-"

"You're underestimating him, Leandra." He pointed out quietly, and I realized he was right. He went on, "That's exactly what we don't want to happen. Desperation, in a situation like this, will be an undisputed downfall."

"Then how?" I mumbled, "How do we catch him?"

"For now," He said, "I'm more concerned about keeping you safe. Staying defensive right now should be our one priority. Anything else shouldn't even be up for consideration. Especially with Bella here now." I looked down.

I hesitated before looking back up, "I gotta do something." His softening expression told me he understood, "This.. This sitting around, waiting thing is driving me nuts. I just.. I feel like we're wasting time. What if the reason he's getting the upper hand is because we aren't doing anything to stop him?"

He sighed, "Leandra-"

"I like Jasper's idea." I insisted, "It'll work. I know it'll work."

"Let me talk to Cole." He replied gently.

I sighed as well, disappointed, "Mikah already did."

"I'm not ruling out Jasper's idea." He assured me and that surprised me a little, "I'd just like to find a safer way to pull it off."

"Like what?" I asked, interested. What did he have in mind?

"More numbers on our side, for one." He nodded a little, "I don't want to risk whatever coven Jack has with him gaining more of an upper hand. Most covens don't react lightly to one of their own being captured. I also want more protection for Bella. Just in case." I nodded to that one, agreeing wholeheartedly. He went on, "If we can acquire that, then I'd be a little more accepting of giving this a go. I don't like it, but.. I'll give it some thought. First and foremost, I need to consider the safety of everyone involved. Until then, I ask you to have patience."

That was pretty easy to agree to. Now that I knew he was considering it.

 **A/N: I know it seems like there's been a lot of talking lately, but I felt the need to put this stuff in there. Sort of a way to regroup myself, I guess.  
THANK YOU! To my AMAZING reviewers! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Little KNeu thanks you too. :)**  
 **Short A/N today, guys. Not much for me to say other than that I hope you enjoyed this little filler chapter, and that if it seems a little boring, I apologize. I'm really hoping next chapter is more exciting for you guys.  
It's pretty much already written out. Just needs a final go over. :) **  
**Until Ten, my friends! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

It was definitely getting colder. Not quite winter cold, but fall was definitely coming soon. The clouds had thinned out today, leaving just hints of blue sky between them and I even managed to see the sunlight a few times.

It had been a little more than a week since that talk with Carlisle, and so far, nothing had come of it. I'd done my best to wait patiently, not bringing it up once, but I couldn't help waiting for him to bring it up every time he came into the room.

Although, I was sure he had plenty on his mind. Despite the information I had given him, he wasn't letting that ease him. He was still taking the situation with Bella just as seriously as I remembered him taking it in the vision. I could definitely understand why, but it was so hard not to tell him to just relax.

Bella was getting more and more tired each day that passed, having even less of an appetite than she had when she got here. The baby was getting stronger by the day as well, but I knew that it wasn't really worth getting worried about yet. Just stronger movements, she said. It wasn't particularly painful. Not yet.

"That'll change." I'd told her, which seemed to worry her.

She was already rounder than she was before. In a week, she'd seemed to grow a month and a half. It didn't really make much sense to her yet how all this could seem to only last about a month. So I told her.

"Towards the end," I'd said, "The baby will grow faster. She's still growing pretty slow right now, but she'll grow faster in the last few days. Especially when you start giving her blood."

Edward couldn't help paying more attention to me than anybody had. He was the one always with her, always within arms reach and most often closer, so whenever I was with her, he was always with her.

I knew telling Bella these things wouldn't help the way he watched me, and I honestly wasn't trying to scare her, but I felt she needed to be more prepared than anyone for what was about to happen. After all, it was her it was happening to. The more she knew, the less she would worry when things changed, and that was a good thing. Along with information I felt she needed to know, I was giving Bella reassurance that she could do this.

More often than not, she listened to me. Despite the worry I knew she already had, she wanted to know these things. It seemed to help keep her calmer than anyone else seemed to be. Besides me, of course, she was the calmest.

I told her, which everyone agreed with me, that even if she wasn't hungry, she needed to eat. There was no choice because once the baby felt she no longer wanted whatever Bella had to give her, any nutrition she'd get from eating was out the window. She needed to stock up now while she could, before the baby was big enough to decide on her own, which wouldn't be too much longer, so every moment of every day now Bella had a snack within her reach.

I wasn't sure if it was me subconsciously taking my own advice or what, but I had yet to not be hungry enough to eat. I always ate when there was something made for me, and I had to admit, doing so made me feel better. Physically, anyway. I slept easier, woke less often in a grumpy mood.

In a way, though, Bella had become my hobby. Helping her helped me stay calm, and as patient as I had been with waiting on Carlisle's decision regarding Jasper's idea, that was ending. I was getting edgier the longer he went without filling me in on what he'd decided. Even if he hadn't reached a definite decision, it still would have been nice to have been kept in the loop.

I was getting impatient, and that was one of the worst feelings in the world. I wanted to either try this, or have another idea brought up.

Today, however, Bella was too tired to stay up without sleeping around noon. I couldn't blame her, but that left me with nothing else to do. Mikah spent time with me outside on the porch, watching me close as I paced the porch. Without being able to distract myself with Bella, all I was focusing on her now directed itself to my dilemma.

"Um.." Mikah finally spoke, "You okay?"

"No." I replied firmly, " _Still_ nothing from Carlisle. He said. He said like a week ago that he'd think about Jasper's plan, and _still_ nothing."

"Good." Mikah muttered but he sighed, "Princess, if he said he's going to think about it, give him some time. There's kind of a lot to think about."

"It wouldn't take me a week to figure it out." I countered, "Why's it taking him so long? I've been good. I haven't been bugging him about it, but still. What if he's not really thinking about it, and he just said that to shut me up?"

"Carlisle wouldn't lie to you like that." Mikah replied instantly.

I sighed, "True."

"And it wouldn't take you a week, because you're a very impulsive person, princess."

"What's that?"

"It means you jump feet first into something without really thinking about everything." He answered, "You don't care about what could possibly go wrong, and would rather deal with consequences when they happen. Carlisle is different. He wants to make sure he has every aspect of something covered before any situation could ever possibly arise."

"Well," I grumbled, "It sucks. When? I get he wants to think about everything, but _when_? I wanna get it over with."

"Leandra, listen." He sighed, "Jack is dangerous enough, but without us knowing exactly how many he's got with him, it makes it hard to plan for anything. It'd be like you finding a bear's den and purposefully pissing off the closest, smallest one. There could be three, much bigger bears behind him, and you'd never know it. Or it'd be like you throwing rocks at a hornet's nest." I winced at that one, "These things take _time_."

"It's taking too much time." I countered.

"Patience, princess." Mikah murmured, "You're getting too worked up over this."

"I can't help it." I whined, "I think I'm going crazy here."

"Okay." He replied firmly. As I was moving to pace passed him, he took my upper arms between his hands, turning me and standing me still in front of him. Surprised, I looked up at him. He smiled a little, "Close your eyes."

"Why?"

He chuckled, "Just trust me. Close your eyes." Hesitantly, I did as he asked. His voice was gentler as he spoke again, "Now take a breath. A deep breath. As deep of a breath as you can take, and hold it."

I carefully did as he said. Slowly breathing in until I couldn't anymore, and holding it. I counted to five before he said, "Now slowly let it out."

I did so, laughing a little as I felt slightly light headed.

"Now do it again." He said, and I nodded a little. I saw where he was going with this.

After doing that twice more, he gently squeezed my shoulders, and I looked back up at him.

"Now how do you feel?" He asked.

"Dizzy." I muttered. I turned away again, right back into pacing as I shook my head, "I just don't get it. How hard could it be? As soon as they hear anything, they come in. It's not that hard. Even if he doesn't say anything, I would. Even if Jack doesn't let them know he was there, I'd let them know. It's not that hard. It'd be easy, because he'd be in there alone."

"Princess." Mikah sighed, catching me again, and I sighed heavily. I looked up at him, watching as he gave a short glance around himself before looking down at me, "Okay. Close your eyes again, and keep them closed."

I frowned a little, but closed my eyes. I squeaked, laughing as he suddenly scooped me off my feet. Holding me securely in his arms, "Keep them closed."

"Okay." I murmured, confused but not questioning. I waited for him to tell me what this was all about. His arms supporting me never moved, so I assumed we were just standing there, until I felt the breeze crossing my face. He was carrying me somewhere.

"Where are we going?" I had to ask.

"Somewhere I like to go to think." He replied, "It clears my head every time, and I know it'll do the same for you."

"Do you know how much trouble you're going to be in?" I asked, and he chuckled.

"Those wanting to kill me will have to form a line." He replied, "But if this works, it'd all be worth it."

I laid in silence for about a minute or two before he sighed. Carefully, he adjusted me and set me on my feet, and I took that as a sign that it was okay to open my eyes.

The breeze up here was almost as strong as the one crossing my face as we were running, but the view more than made up for the chilly air.

Behind where we stood were trees, as we both stood on a rocky ledge. In front of us, a rather steep drop off with nothing but ocean as far as I could see. The wind hitting me cleared my hair from my face, and I couldn't help it. I took a breath in. I could smell the ocean and the rain in this breeze, the clouds above just adding to that.

"Holy crap." I finally muttered, looking over at him, and he smiled.

"I come here all the time." He told me, taking the hint as I tightly crossed my arms. I was cold. He removed his light jacket, placing it around my shoulders. I accepted it gratefully, pulling it on as the longer sleeves overtook my hands as well.

"I can see why." I mumbled once the jacket was in place, "I'd come here every day if I could." I slowly stepped forward, carefully peering over the edge of the cliff and down toward the water below. We had to have been over a hundred feet up.

"I brought you here for a reason." He murmured, catching my attention again, "Princess, you're too full of every emotion known to man. As far as I know, nobody's thought to do this yet. Giving you someplace private that you can just let out all of that emotion."

"Not yet," I replied, "But I don't need it." I sighed, looking down over the edge again, "We're a pretty high up here, aren't we?"

"Focus, princess." He chuckled, "Tell me. What's bothering you?"

"You know what's bothering me." I muttered, sighing as I sat down on the rock underneath me, "I want to help, but nobody's letting me."

"And?" He prompted.

"You mean what else?" I asked, "Plenty." I paused, looking behind me into the trees, "How have they not followed you yet?"

"Leandra?" He sighed.

"What?" I asked defensively, "You want me to talk about what's bugging me. I don't do that."

"Since when?" He asked, "It's normally easy to get you to talk to me."

"This is different." I muttered, "I don't do that anymore."

"You need to." He insisted, carefully sitting beside me, "Because eventually, it's all going to build up to be too much. You want to help, right?"

"Yes."

"This is how you help." He replied, "You can't be useful to anyone until you learn how to take care of yourself first. That's just how it works. You take care of yourself by learning when it's time to rid yourself of all that negative emotion."

"Jasper does that for me."

"No." He murmured, "What Jasper does has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. These thoughts, these dreams and these emotions, those are all yours. They're all yours and they're taking too much space in your mind and your heart. The only way to lighten the load, so to speak, is to get that stuff out of there. Otherwise, it's going to build and build and build until there's no room left for anything else."

"That's how I've always been, though." I mumbled, glancing over at him, "Trust me. My family has already tried to do that. It worked a little bit, but I don't think it'll work anymore."

"Then it's time you learned how to change."

"What if I don't want to?"

He sighed, "Then that's your choice. I'm just worried about you, princess."

"I know." I sighed as well, looking back out over the ocean. I didn't offer anything else. I was tired of talking at that point. I just wanted to sit and look. After several seconds, he sighed again.

"Okay." He murmured, "Okay. I get it."

I wasn't sure how much time passed in silence, both of us just sitting there. It was nice. Just sitting there with him, no pressure or expectations. It was nice just breathing.

I finally looked over at him.

"You know they're going to be really mad." I laughed a little, "I'm pretty sure the whole 'don't be alone with her' rule is still there."

"Let them be mad." He replied simply, "Right now, I'm pretty sure I'm not too tempted to kill you."

"That's never mattered to Jasper." I pointed out, "He's gonna want to skin you."

"I'm not worried about it, princess." He chuckled, "You needed this. Even if you don't want to talk, this is good for you." I had to admit that he was right. I'd seen all the sights that I could see around the house and the yard by then. A million times. This was new.

Turning, I looked behind me at the trees before I stood up. He watched me at first before he was on his feet as well. Following me as I wandered away from the ledge. I wanted to look around.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I dunno." I replied, "Somewhere." Beyond the trees, it was a pretty steep upward slope, but nothing I couldn't handle. I figured if they hadn't followed him yet, I wanted to take advantage of the time I had out here. I'd do that by wandering.

Bracing myself on trees and large boulders between those trees, I managed to make it quite a bit further, even finding another ledge a bit further up. I hadn't realized I was going so far, but compared to the last spot, we were quite a bit higher. It took work to get this far, so I settled for this ledge instead. Slightly out of breath, but it wasn't bad.

"Is this your spot?" Mikah asked, having followed me.

"Yup." I replied, dusting my hands on my jeans and leaning against a tree. There wasn't as much room on this ledge, but I didn't mind that so much.

"It's a nice spot." He smiled a little, looking around.

Aside from the breeze, and a few birds further off behind us, it was pretty quiet up here. I really appreciated this time I had.

Looking back, I looked to Mikah and smiled a little, "Thanks. For bringing me here."

"No problem." He smiled in return, "I'm happy to be of service. Just don't get too close to the edge, and we'll be even." I laughed a little, shaking my head.

"Don't worry." I muttered, "I'm afraid of heights, remember?"

"That's right." He laughed as well, "The tree."

"This is a little higher than that tree was." I replied, glancing toward the edge, "If I'm not close to it, it's fine, but if I can see over.. Nope. So I'll just.. Hang out here." I patted the tree I leaned against.

"Why do you think you're afraid of heights?" He asked, stepping closer as I carefully sat down and leaned back against the tree.

"I dunno." I mumbled, shrugging a little. I hesitated, "I mean, I think I know, but.. I don't really wanna say."

A few months before, when I remembered everything I remembered about what happened before, exactly how I'd needed to be turned became far too clear to me. That was one detail I really wished I could forget.

"Come on, princess." He said, sitting next to me, "You can tell me."

"Well.." I hesitated again, "Remember when Edward said that Carlisle had to turn me at seventeen?"

"I remember." He replied quietly.

"That's why I'm afraid of heights." I added, "That's how I almost died last time. I guess he just never got a chance to tell anyone that."

"Because of heights?"

"Because of Aro." I corrected quietly, my reply hardly making a sound, "When I'm seventeen, I run from him. I don't remember why.. I don't remember what made me want to piss him off like I did, but.. Because I didn't want to go back with him, he knew I wouldn't ever stop trying to get away from him, and because of that, I wasn't really useful to him anymore, so.. He kind of.. Pushes me off the edge of a cliff. A really high cliff."

His reaction was tensing, looking over at me sharply.

"I remember falling, sliding down the rock and how much that hurt." I mumbled, "I remember.. The water. I remember the river I landed in, and hitting every rock in it. _So_ much water.."

"Damn." He murmured gently.

"It was Carlisle that pulled me out." I said, looking over at him, "But you were there too."

"I was there?" He asked, surprised. I realized then that I'd never let him know that.

"Yeah." I replied, "You were there. Different, though. I didn't know you now-then. Back then, I didn't know you when you were human. I don't remember when I first met you, but.. You were there that day, and for a second, Carlisle wasn't sure about turning me. You wanted him to."

"Why wouldn't he?" He asked, "Why would he even think twice?"

"I dunno." I sighed, "But as much as it hurt, I'm glad he did turn me. I wasn't ready to die yet. There was still.. Something. Something I can't remember that I needed to live for." I sighed again, "That something, I think, is what I keep trying to remember, but I can't. I've been trying to remember that since like February."

"That has to be really hard." He spoke gently, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." I replied, "It doesn't really bother me to remember that, though. It's easier to remember my own death than someone else's."

He sighed, reaching over and hugging me into his side. The way Emmett always did. It was a comforting gesture, one I appreciated deeply. Especially coming from him.

"Well," He sighed, "If I had known that, I wouldn't have brought you here."

"No." I said, looking up at him, "I like it here. I just can't get too close to the edge over there."

"If you say so." He murmured and I laughed a little.

"Really." I mumbled, "It's okay."

After that, we fell quiet. I liked spending this time with Mikah, even if I knew he would have to move soon. It was nice out here. Quiet, and though it was cold, I could breathe. For a moment, I felt like I could almost fall asleep right here.

I jumped a little when Mikah suddenly got to his feet. Looking up at him until he was suddenly yanking me to my feet by my sweater and standing me behind him.

"Hey." I protested, but I caught on to his tension almost immediately.

"Shh." He told me, and doing as he said was instinct. I stepped closer to his back, hiding myself further and balling my hand in the back of his shirt. His worry made me worry.

"Whoa." I didn't recognize anything about the voice coming from just a few feet away from Mikah, "Whoa. Friend." It was a calming tone, and I had to fight the want to believe this guy.

"Who are you?" Mikah demanded. The growl in his tone even scared me more than the thought of someone neither of us knew standing just a little ways away.

"Easy, tiger." The stranger chuckled, and even I smiled a little, "My name is Evander. You can call me Evan. We found your scent about ten miles back, and I figured I'd come find you."

"Why?" Mikah asked again, "And who's we?"

"Off chance," Evan said, "Do you happen to be part of Carlisle's coven?" I instantly felt Mikah's tension ease at just the mention.

"Yes." Mikah replied, his tone a lot easier, "I'm assuming you're with Destiny?"

"Yes." Evan answered, and I allowed myself a peek at his smile, "I wanted to see if you needed help, considering you're so far from your coven." His eyes found me, and he smiled again, "Hello."

Shyly, I stayed quiet, but I smiled a little in return. I kept my hand balled in Mikah's shirt, though. The sight of Evan's crimson eyes making me nervous, despite knowing now that he was supposed to be there.

"We're fine." Mikah replied, "Just heading back, actually, but thank you for your concern."

"I guess it's my job now." Evan laughed.

"Who is Destiny?" I asked quietly, and Mikah looked down at me.

"A very old friend of Cole's." He answered, "Destiny is the leader of another coven. When Carlisle mentioned he needed more numbers, Cole called in a favor with her. We weren't sure at first if she was coming, but I guess now we know."

" _Her_ coven?" I asked, surprised, "She has her own?" Somehow, I couldn't imagine a female running a coven on her own.

"She's earned it." Evan answered for him, "She's a very worthy leader and we'd all follow her anywhere."

"Believe me," Mikah laughed, looking to him, "We're all very grateful for that."

Evan smiled again, "Would you mind some company on your return?"

"Not at all." Mikah smiled a little, easily lifting me into his arms. He looked to me, and I took that as my cue to close my eyes. I was a bit bummed that our little outing was abruptly over, but I had a feeling it was for a good reason.

It seemed like it took less time to get back than it took to get there. I opened my eyes again as I was set gently onto my feet on the porch.

"Thank goodness." Esme was the first to embrace me, obviously relieved.

"Are you crazy?" Alice was the first to lay into Mikah. Her tone sharper than I'd ever heard it, and I worried for him.

"Now isn't the time." Carlisle put an end to that, and I turned a little to look at him. I could see why he wasn't wanting them to fight right then.

Cole and quite a few of his group stood off to the left of the front porch, facing the decent group of newcomers off to the right of the porch. My family had all gathered on the front porch, watching them as well. They must have just arrived, since nobody was really speaking yet.

Standing up here on the porch with every one of my family, a breeze blew by, and I shivered slightly. I partially wanted to go inside, but there she stood. Four others with her, but I could instantly tell which female was Destiny, as she stood ahead of the others.

Her hair was a light auburn color. Like mine, only much lighter. Brown, with just a hint of red. It was straighter than mine, though. An almost solid sheet framing her gentle face, but every part of her was a contradiction. She was slight, small. Only a few inches taller than Alice, if that, and just as small, but I knew just by looking at her that she was capable.

The others behind her were all taller than her, but she was the leader. I easily recognized Evan has he took an open spot behind Destiny. He smiled a little at me, and I returned it.

"Carlisle." Her voice was quiet, hesitant, but soft. In a kind sort of way, and a slow, friendly smile came to her face.

"Destiny." He greeted in reply, slowly stepping from the porch, taking the steps slowly to meet her out in the yard. Emmett and Jasper stuck close by him, but Mikah stayed back with us. Probably for my added protection, just in case. Cole followed Carlisle and the others, with two females beside him.

"I heard you may need a bit of help." She smiled wider. She hesitated, "So here I am, but first, I'd like to meet the one this is all about. Leandra."

"You've heard?" Carlisle asked, and she nodded.

"Cole filled me in a little bit." She replied with a small nod.

"I'd like to be sure you don't mean her harm." Carlisle murmured politely.

"Don't you worry, Carlisle." She replied, and her tone was sincere, "I'm here to help, I assure you." I watched as Carlisle looked to Jasper, who gave a nod.

Slowly, Carlisle turned and gestured us forward. Mikah, Alice and Rose started forward first, Esme following them with me in tow.

We reached her, and she smiled down at me.

"All of this for someone so small?" She asked, curious, "You must mean a whole lot to someone, baby doll. It's very nice to meet you, Leandra."

I didn't know what to say, so I smiled a little shyly.

"My name's Destiny, but you can call me Dess." She continued, "It's shorter, and much faster. I didn't ask for my name, you know."

I smiled a little more, laughing a little at her tone.

"Does she speak?" She asked, looking to Carlisle. I wasn't offended by her question. I had yet to say a word to her, and I wasn't trying to be rude, but I was nervous.

"She's shy." Carlisle replied, "She speaks, but not often around those she doesn't know. Especially when she's under so much stress."

"I see." She murmured, looking to me again, "I can understand that. That's okay. I'm not very talkative either. Words are overrated." She looked to Carlisle, "She's precious. I'm assuming she's not a pet?"

"Does your kind do that a lot?" I asked, and she looked to me, confused so I spoke again, "Keep humans as pets? Because you're not the first person to wonder about that."

"It's uncommon, is all." She laughed a little, "Humans are normally repelled by us, unless we don't want them to be. It's in their nature."

"I'm not repelled." I replied, "They're my family."

"Intriguing." She mused, looking to Carlisle once more, "I suppose there's more to the story than I currently know."

"I'll be happy to explain it to you." Carlisle murmured, "Would you like to come inside?"

"Of course." She smiled, "Thank you."

I gathered that this was going well. She seemed pretty nice, and I liked her.

Esme chose to go inside with them, followed by Cole and the two females with him, but the rest of us stayed outside. Evan and most of the group that had come along with Dess, Cole's group and my family remained outside in the front yard. It was pretty crowded in the yard, and I felt safer standing back by the porch steps.

Without another word, I jumped. Surprised as Emmett suddenly punched Mikah in the face, sending him back across the yard. A few in Cole's group had to part to let him through, watching as he landed hard against a tree.

"Hey!" I shouted, very unhappy about witnessing that, "What the hell?"

"He had it coming, shorty." Emmett turned, looking at me and I glared hard at him.

"Why?" I asked, crossing my arms, "Because he cared enough about me to take me somewhere to clear my head?"

Alice rounded on me too, "Do you have any clue-"

"I know." I snapped in Alice's direction, "But it was worth it! Don't be mad at him for doing something nice for me."

I moved forward, heading for Mikah where he had picked himself up off the ground.

"I deserved that." He chuckled, lightly rubbing his right cheek. As I neared him, those of Cole's coven that had come forward to help him moved back as if repelled by me.

"You can't go taking off with her like that." Emmett snapped Mikah's direction, "Got it?" Mikah seemed to be fine. In one piece, but that probably hurt more than he let on.

"Is this normal?" Evan chuckled, glancing over at Jasper.

"It is when he messes up." Jasper replied, "And he messed up badly today."

"Taking her elsewhere despite the threat?" Evan guessed, and Jasper nodded.

"He knew better."

I suddenly remembered something. That threat. Carlisle had obviously asked Dess here for a reason. Maybe this was what he was waiting on this whole time. More people on our side.

"Uh-oh." Mikah muttered, "That look.."

Ignoring him, I turned and jogged up the porch steps as quickly as I could. I really didn't want to be rude, so I slid to an impatient stop beside where Carlisle stood talking to Dess.

Before I could wait for too long, however, Esme gently turned me around and led me toward the kitchen. I didn't exactly want to protest, but I couldn't help the quiet, disappointed whine.

"Just give them some time." She told me, laughing a little, "Let them talk."

"Is she here to help?" I asked, "With that Jack thing?"

"We'll see." She said, "They're still discussing it."

"She wouldn't have come, though." I said, hopeful, "She wouldn't have come, though, if she wasn't okay with helping us, right?"

"We'll see." She repeated, "Patience, Leandra."

"I don't have much of that." I sighed, sitting down at my usual place at the counter.

"What is going on outside?" She frowned.

"I think they're gonna kill Mikah." I replied quietly.

"Oh, dear." She sighed, and it worried me how she actually got moving, "Please. Stay here."

"I will." I agreed as she left. If she could calm them down about Mikah, I'd agree. They obviously weren't listening to me, but maybe they'd listen to Esme.

I wasn't sure how long I sat in there by myself, maybe a few minutes, before I sighed and stood up. Rounding the counter, in search of something to eat. As much as I didn't want to admit it, Esme was right. Carlisle needed time to talk to Dess and the others without me interrupting, so I made myself a sandwich to keep myself busy. I was hungry after that outing, and dinner was still a few hours away.

I had just sat down with said sandwich, when I looked over as Esme and Mikah entered the kitchen, and I sighed in relief this time. Mikah was clearly still in one piece, so Esme had at least kept him alive that far, but the fact that she felt the need to drag him into the kitchen with her worried me further. Were the others really that mad at him?

"Are you hiding?" I asked as Mikah neared my side.

He laughed, "No, I think I get to live."

"Good." I mumbled, "Because it'd suck if they killed you." I leaned over, offering him my sandwich as a joke, "Want a bite?"

"Uh.." He laughed again, obviously repelled by it, "No thanks. You go ahead."

"But.." I pouted, still holding it up at him, "I worked so hard on it-" I couldn't keep a straight face, though, as he actually took a bite. Surprised beyond belief. The face he made, though, had me laughing more than I had in a long time, actually having trouble breathing.

"Yummy." He muttered around the bite he'd taken, but his tone highly suggested otherwise as he turned for the trashcan. Esme, laughing herself, handed him a paper towel, which he used as quickly as he could to rid his mouth of the obviously disgusting substance.

I inspected my sandwich before deciding that it was fine. I'd just eat around the spot he'd bitten, not wanting to test his spit.

"Is my sandwich gonna turn into a vampire now?" I had to ask, and his resulting laughter had mine continuing, keeping me from effectively taking a bite of my own until I could breathe again.

"You never know." Mikah replied, "Better be careful, and burn what you don't eat." Just picturing that nearly made me choke.

Shaking her head, but clearly also amused, Esme placed a glass of water in front of me. It was nice to laugh again, and it really didn't surprise me that it was Mikah that had me doing it.

"What are you doing?" He asked, laughing as he watched me tear off the corner he'd bitten.

"You put spit on it." I replied, only gaining more laughter.

"I don't have cooties." He said, "I promise." I knew he knew what I meant, so I continued the joke.

"Yes you do." I countered, carefully laying the offending portion of my sandwich on my plate, "I can tell."

"Oh, really?" He asked, yanking me up off my seat, much to my entertainment as I dropped the rest of my sandwich quickly back onto my plate.

As careful as he was, he still moved me a whole lot faster than Emmett ever did. He didn't try flipping me upside down or tickling me the way Emmett did, but he held me up above his head like I hardly weighed a pound. His hands supporting me under my arms easily.

Esme, of course, stood watch and carefully neared. Probably to make sure I was okay, but by the sound of my laughter, I knew she'd know I was fine.

"Do I still have cooties?" He asked me, and through laughter, I nodded. That laughter only increased as he swung me backwards and down, before swinging me forward and up, tossing me up just high enough to not hit the ceiling before catching me as I inevitably fell back down. My stomach dropped to the floor, and despite how breathless that made me, I was having fun.

"You okay?" He chuckled as I was laughing too hard to make a sound now.

"Yeah." I finally gasped, "Do that again."

And so he did. Twice more without a break, and the third time, he moved me so I twirled in the air before he caught me. I couldn't help squealing through those. I couldn't keep my loud laughter quiet, as much as I tried, as he plopped me back down in my chair to catch my breath. He probably put me back down for Esme's benefit, because she was getting edgy.

When I could open my eyes, I looked over at Mikah's smug smile.

"Okay." I breathed, "You don't have cooties."

"What are you doing to her in here?" Emmett led the group into the kitchen. Said group consisted of all of my family, including Carlisle and even Edward. To my surprise, though, Cole stood back by the doorway, Destiny beside him. Just those two, the rest of their groups probably hanging back.

"Mikah has cooties." I reported, much to Mikah's amusement.

"Interesting." Emmett replied, clearly not interested. He sighed, speaking again, "Okay, shorty. Pay attention, because play time's over."

That certainly got my attention and I turned in my chair to face them, "Is this about Jack?"

"First off, don't look so eager. That worries me." He muttered, but he fell quiet as Carlisle moved forward.

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke, and I waited, "I understand how much it means to you to do this, and though I can understand why, it is a big risk."

"I know." I replied quietly.

"I need you to take this seriously, okay?" He murmured, "Do exactly as we tell you. Your role is fairly simple, and I'm sure you know what it is."

"I'm the bait." I nodded a little, and further back, Alice cringed a little.

"You make that sound like a good thing." Emmett grumbled.

I reached out, taking the cell phone Carlisle placed in my hands.

"That is going to be hidden somewhere in your room." He said, "Preferably somewhere close to where you're going to be."

"Probably near my bed." I said, looking down at it as he nodded a little.

"I'll be waiting as well." Edward spoke up, and I glanced to him, "Added acknowledgement, but if for some reason my ability doesn't work, that phone will be the only way to let them know." I nodded, agreeing with that. From anywhere in the house, he could hear my thoughts if whatever Jack was doing didn't block that too.

"If this works," Carlisle went on, "All I want you to do is bring attention any way you can. That's as far as your role goes. Once we're in there, no matter what happens, you get as far away from that room as you can." I wasn't sure I liked what he meant by that.

"No matter what happens?" I asked hesitantly.

"He's not going to like getting ambushed, shorty." Emmett said, "And he's probably going to be pissed enough to turn on whoever's closest before we can get him."

I winced.

"What about Cole?" I asked, looking to him.

"Their job is only to keep the house secure." Carlisle replied, "From the outside, where their designated waiting areas are." I knew why they couldn't be inside. Jack would know.

"Don't worry about us, darling." Cole offered quietly from where he and Dess stood.

"Focus, Leandra." Carlisle murmured, and I looked to him again, "Remember what I said."

"No matter what.." I mumbled, looking back down at the phone in my hands, swallowing nervously. I was starting to understand a little more why Carlisle had to consider everything carefully. It suddenly didn't seem as simple as I was thinking it was.

"Do you understand?" Carlisle asked, and hesitantly, I nodded.

"Yeah." I said, "No matter what."

With a small nod, Carlisle turned to face the others, "Alright." Alice immediately turned and left the room, Jasper following her. I gathered that Alice still wasn't fully supportive of this, but she wouldn't go against Carlisle. As much as I knew she wanted to.

Cole gave a responding nod and looked to Dess, "Shall we clear out?" With a smile, she turned first, leaving the room with Cole in tow. I assumed they were going to gather their groups and leave the area.

I couldn't help inspecting the phone. It was a pretty important part of what I was supposed to do.

"When?" I asked.

"Tonight." Carlisle replied, "Tonight, you'll be left in your room alone, but the rest of us will be waiting." I nodded again, taking a nervous breath.

"Don't worry, princess." Mikah murmured behind me, "I won't let anything happen to them."

"Well, I don't want anything to happen to you, either." I frowned, looking back at him.

"Don't worry about us, shorty." Emmett said, "Just worry about your part in all this."

And for the most part, I tried not to. I honestly tried, but the closer it got to my usual bed time, the more nervous I got. I started to question myself at this point. Was all this really worth it? In the long run, I would probably say it was worth it, but right then, I wasn't so sure.

Edward was upstairs, protecting Bella. Just in case. I knew right where everyone would be. Carlisle and Esme would both be closest to my room, in the kitchen talking with the other phone sitting between them. Rose would be upstairs, probably as added protection for Bella as well, but waiting eagerly no doubt. Mikah, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were the second closest ones, situated in the living room.

I wasn't quite sure where Cole or Dess would be, but I assumed far enough away to keep watch on the area without being obvious about it. I couldn't help but wonder how they'd pull that off without splitting up.

Until it was time to go to bed, I sat in the living room on the couch with Mikah. Him on one end of the couch, me on the other, closest to Alice's chair. One thing was for sure. Nobody could say that I wasn't taking this seriously.

The more nervous I got, the less I felt up to talking. I knew exactly what I had to do, as it was the easiest job of everyone. If this worked, it would be. If something went wrong, though, I'd never forgive myself if someone got hurt.

I had already taken my nightly shower, my slightly damp hair chilling me just as much as my nerves did. The TV was on, but I wasn't watching it. It was so odd to think about the fact that the trees outside the house were now empty. The path clear for Jack to show up.

The more I questioned myself, though, the more I thought about everything that led me here. We'd never really had a chance like this before. Every other time, it was Jack making all the moves. This was new to me.

I also had to think about what it'd be like to know that no matter what happened, Jack wouldn't be leaving here alive. That was harder for me to face than I'd ever like to admit to anyone. Much less to myself. I actually had yet to talk to anyone, other than Mikah, about that dream. The dream I'd had about the day my mom left. It shook me how similar he and I were, and it still stuck. With an ending to his life in sight, it was hard for me to accept that when I still didn't have the answers I wanted.

Stuck so far in my thoughts, I jumped a little at a brief smoothing of my hair. Looking over at Alice. She must have seen how distracted I was.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I nodded a little. Looking back down.

"Thinking." I answered quietly.

"As much as I wish you wouldn't do this," She said, "I know you can. As brave as you've been lately, Leandra, this will be easy for you." I deeply appreciated her vote of confidence, even if I did doubt it. It meant a lot to me.

"Thanks." I muttered, sighing a little. Unfortunately, the following yawn told me it was about time to go isolate myself. After the busy day I'd had, it was only to be expected that I'd be needing to sleep earlier than I was used to.

"Tired?" Alice asked, and I nodded. Fully knowing what it would mean to admit it, but part of me also just wanted to get it over with. She nodded as well, "Esme."

That was the cue, so I stood up. Carefully taking a deep breath.

"Good night, princess." Mikah offered quietly from the other end of the couch. I doubted I'd be getting much sleep, but it was worth a try. I tried to smile his direction, but the nervousness kept that from being believable.

Both Esme and Carlisle followed me into my room, and I picked up the phone off of my bedside table as I neared.

"Don't worry, sweetheart." Esme murmured as I pulled back the blanket and sat down on my bed, "We'll be right out there if you need anything." I nodded a little, and as comforting as her words tried to be, they didn't help much.

I accepted the call to the phone in my hand, knowing it was Carlisle. I knew his phone would be muted, so no sound would come through mine, so as soon as I knew it was working, I leaned down and slid the phone underneath my bedside table.

Esme kissed the top of my head before both she and Carlisle both left, and the closing of my bedroom door sounded louder than it really was.

So there I sat. On the side of my bed, feeling more alone than I had for awhile. I knew my family was right on the other side of my closed bedroom door, but that didn't help me. Not with knowing what Jack could do. Proven twice.

The phone hiding under my bedside table didn't offer any sort of company either, considering it was muted on the other end to make sure no sound came through. I wasn't sure what I should have been doing. Should it really look like I was waiting for him to show up? Probably not.

So instead of just sitting there, I hesitantly reached over and turned off my bedside lamp. Laying down onto my side with a sigh, I settled in to wait. My room was still dimly lit, and I clung to that now.

As I laid there, I thought about earlier that afternoon with Mikah in the kitchen. How I wished things could always be like they were with Mikah. Maybe after this, they could be.

Maybe if this worked, things would be different, but I had to ask myself. Would it be different good, or different bad? What was I even doing focusing on this when there were so many other things to worry about?

I laid there nervously, my gaze fixed on the window. I couldn't help it.

After enough time with no results, having laid there for about an hour, I stood up with a sigh and crossed the room to the window. I lifted it open, shivering a little in the damp breeze that filtered in, ruffling the curtains a little as it did so. This breeze smelled and felt like rain, thanks to the slow but steady rain that fell outside, and as often as I smelled it, I never got tired of it, but was cold.

I made sure the window was as wide open as it could be before I returned to bed. Curling back up under my blanket with a deep sigh. It was cooling off in my room fast, and I wanted to get warm. I always felt colder when I was tired, and with my hair still a little damp, that certainly didn't help.

I knew they'd probably like an update, but I didn't want to talk out loud, in case Jack was out there listening. I'd known it probably wouldn't happen immediately, but the longer I went without seeing anyone, the more nervous I got.

A few times, I did try to sleep. Resting my tired eyes, but I never managed to fall asleep. Far too restless to let myself ease that much.

I didn't understand it. The way in was wide open. Jack had all the opportunity in the world, but maybe that was the problem. After being to fiercely protected for how long now, having the way wide open wasn't exactly inconspicuous.

Sometime around midnight, in the middle of thinking about the other times he'd shown up, I had an idea. With a sigh, I sat up and flipped my blanket back as I climbed out of bed. Leaving the window wide open, I left my room, letting my bedroom door close behind me.

Esme and Carlisle were instantly there, and I shook my head.

"Nothing yet." I said as quietly as I could, "But I just remembered. The other times he's shown up, it was when I couldn't see him do it. The first time, I was in the bathroom, and the second time, I was asleep. Maybe he just knows I'm awake."

"With all that moving around," Mikah spoke from the living room up the hall, "I'm not surprised."

"I can't help it, okay?" I snapped lightly in response.

"Would you like some tea, honey?" Esme offered with a sigh, and I nodded a little. That might settle me down.

"Please." I mumbled, immediately following her toward the kitchen. I always appreciated her tea.

In the kitchen, I stared tiredly down at the countertop in front of me. Now and then yawning. Before this even started, I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't know how hard it'd be to be torn between wanting so bad to sleep, but being too restless to do so.

I wasn't even sure if I should be sleeping. Shouldn't I be staying awake? It was my job to let them know the second Jack was there. How would I do that if I was asleep when he got there?

"I think this is harder than we thought it'd be." I finally mumbled. I glanced over at Edward's arrival, watching as he came to stand beside Carlisle before I looked back down.

"Leandra, you can sleep." Edward murmured, "That isn't against the rules."

"But how am I going to let anybody know when he gets here if I'm asleep when it happens?" I asked, but I sighed, "How's Bella?"

"Fast asleep." He answered, "As you should be."

"As you pointed out," Carlisle spoke up, "Perhaps he'll wait until you're asleep." I frowned down at the counter under my resting hands.

"He never used to care if I was asleep or not before showing up." I grumbled, "Why should he care so much now?" I _instantly_ hated myself for bringing that up. My heart sped up uncomfortably, and I took a breath in response. Shaking my head.

I glanced towards Edward's deeper frown apologetically.

"Sorry." I muttered, "My mind gets like that sometimes when I'm tired."

He sighed, "Leandra."

"I know." I sighed as well, "I know I don't have to say sorry, but I feel like I do sometimes, you know? It's just how I am, I guess." I looked over as Esme placed a warm cup in front of me, intensely grateful for it.

"I still don't think this is a good idea." Mikah muttered, joining the ever growing population of the kitchen, "How is this a good thing?" He gestured to me yawning into my cup, "We _just_ got her sleeping again."

"I'll sleep." I grumbled into my tea, "You worry too much."

"Well," He grumbled in reply, "I don't like it."

"I can do it." I argued, "It's really easy. Just some parts are a little more confusing than others." He shook his head, but didn't protest again.

I had to admit, though. I was a little afraid to return to my room, afraid of what I'd find. I hesitated outside the door once it was time to go back to bed, staring at the door. It was harder than I'd ever admit out loud, but I knew I had to. Part of me wanted to change my mind right then and there, but the other part of me knew I couldn't do that. I had to go in alone.

Just be brave, I told myself. Just a little while longer.

I knew I was watched, and the longer I hesitated, the clearer it became how nervous I was. If he was in there, I knew I wouldn't be in there very long, but I couldn't help being afraid.

Before anyone could say anything, I finally took a breath and turned the doorknob. Closing my eyes as I forced myself through the door and closed it firmly behind myself. Stupidly, I turned my back to the room, facing the now closed door. Barely holding in the sob of nervousness in the breath I continued to hold.

I knew they needed to know, though, so as I continued to hold my breath, I forced myself to glance behind me.

Letting that breath out in a large sigh as my room was just as empty as it was when I left it.

"Nothing." I mumbled to the empty room, looking around again. Just in case I missed something the first time around. My curtains still ruffled a little in the breeze from the open window, and it was much colder in my room now, but I didn't dare close the window. As much as I wanted to and as much as I shivered. I still hated the cold. That hadn't changed, so I hoped this at least paid off.

I crossed my room, laying back down on my bed and quickly scooting under the blanket. I laid down, curling in my blanket on my side. Watching the empty room again, laying awake as long as I could.

I also had to admit that I was afraid to fall asleep. Would he show up while I was sleeping? It was a major possibility.

Eventually, though, I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I wasn't sure how long I laid there awake before my tired and burning eyes closed on their own, and refused to open again.

 **A/N: I'm sorry it's so short! But I had to leave it right here, guys. It's just how it works. I just hope this was enjoyable.  
THANK YOU! To my reviewers! Both of you are amazing! :D THANK YOU!  
Another short A/N this time guys. It's 6 in the morning, and I'm tired.  
Chapter Eleven will be longer. I promise. A lot happens in it, so I'd be prepared for that. A subject we've all been waiting for is the main focus of that one. :)  
Until Eleven, my friends!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

My eyes didn't want to open. I was slowly starting to wake up, but I didn't want to. I was far too comfortable where I was, finally warmed up and cozy.

All that flew out the still open window when I remembered why I wasn't supposed to be asleep. My eyes opened quickly. I was still in one piece, completely unharmed and in the same position I laid down in. Sitting up sharply in my bed, looking wildly around myself until I came to one conclusion.

My room was empty. I sighed heavily, a light groan in the sound at the obviously unneeded panic.

"Nothing." I spoke out loud as I sat up in my bed. The door across the room opened as a yawn escaped and Alice crossed the room. Esme and Carlisle arrived in the doorway behind her.

"I'm sorry." Alice sighed, kneeling to retrieve the phone, "I know how much you wanted this to work." As much as I hated that last night had been a complete failure, I couldn't help also being slightly relieved. Frustrated, however, that I didn't get to do the job I was tasked to do.

"Maybe it'll just take time." I suggested, "Maybe he just has to see that Cole's really not coming back."

"Or maybe he's just moved on." Alice countered quietly.

"I want to keep trying." I mumbled as she sat next to me, "I had a feeling it wouldn't work the first time."

"I don't think it's going to work." She admitted, "But.. I know you're not the only one willing to give up after the first try."

"We'll keep trying." Carlisle spoke up, bringing my attention to them still in the doorway. I sighed, partially relieved that he wasn't as willing to give up as Alice clearly was.

"I'm not too sure about keeping your window open, though." Esme added, "I don't like how cold it got in here." She had a point. The last thing I wanted was to get sick. I had a pretty decent track record of staying healthy so far, and I really didn't want to ruin that.

But of course, that wasn't how it worked.

Once again, I spent the entire day with Bella, but instead of her feeling like crap, it was me that felt like crap. I started feeling it coming on around noon. Just generally feeling off. More tired than usual, but not in my usual way.

The sneezes followed soon after, and the first time my eyes started to water, I knew what it was. I'd had a cold before, so I knew exactly what it was. I just didn't want to say anything, in case it passed on its own.

"That's probably not going to happen." Edward pointed out, and I gave him a look.

"I can always hope." I mumbled, adjusting how I sat in my chair. I was feeling cold, oddly enough. I thought Bella was supposed to be the cold one, but it was me wrapped in the blanket this time.

"If you're sick," Edward murmured, "You should probably go get some rest."

"Sick?" Mikah's attention was caught.

"Great." I grumbled, "Now he'll never shut up."

"What's wrong?" Mikah asked, and though I knew he was just worried, I was annoyed.

"Nothing." I muttered, unfortunately having to sniffle right after that. That much needed sniffle, however, only pissed off the inside of my nose and resulted in another sneeze and another much needed sniffle.

Dammit.

"Yeah," Mikah rolled his eyes, "Because that's normal." I scowled up at him and he chuckled, "Come on, princess." I didn't exactly argue as he helped me to my feet. On our way to my bedroom, he briefly pressed his fingers against my forehead.

"Yup." He sighed, "In bed. Go."

"I'm fine." I muttered, irritated.

"Fine with a hundred-degree fever." He countered, "Humor me. Go on." I didn't say anything more as I shuffled my way into my room. I knew a hundred degree fever wouldn't kill me. Just make me feel like crap, so I knew he wasn't lying.

"I'll be right back." He told me, watching as I scooted onto my bed, "Stay put." Like I had the energy to go anywhere. In response, I just flopped over. Curling into a ball, much to his approval.

I half worried about laying in here alone while he walked away, but I couldn't focus too much on that. Laying down felt too good.

I only had a chance to snooze for maybe a few minutes before I opened my eyes to someone sitting on the side of my bed, and another hand over my forehead. Esme sat there, sighing as she confirmed Mikah's worries.

"Snitch." I grumbled at Mikah in the doorway.

"Like she wouldn't have found out sooner or later." He smirked a little, "Just accept it, princess. You're down for a few days."

Before I could form a reply, I sneezed again and sniffled immediately after.

"Gross." I muttered to myself, but thankfully, Esme came prepared. Offering me a few tissues from a box she'd brought with her.

"I'm afraid he's right, honey." She told me, "A few days at least."

"But I can't be sick for days." I whined, "We had a plan. I've gotta-"

"You've gotta rest." Mikah countered, "No arguing. Sorry, but that plan can wait."

"Like you're not happy about it." I snapped tiredly.

"Oh," He said, "I'm plenty happy about it if it keeps you from wanting to throw yourself under the bus for a little while."

"You're so mean." I mumbled, laying my head back down.

Esme, ignoring our little argument, turned to look back at Mikah. She spoke, "Would you mind going to Carlisle? I need the cold medicine. Both kinds." Carlisle must have been distracted if he hadn't heard my sneezes.

"Not a problem." Mikah replied, "Be right back."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as Mikah left, looking up at Esme, "I can still try to stay awake tonight."

"Don't apologize, sweetheart." She assured me, smoothing my hair back, "And I don't want you to pressure yourself, okay? This whole thing will wait until you're feeling better."

I was almost never sick. Nauseous now and then, but never sick like this. When breathing wrong would make me sneeze, and my nose ran unmercifully.

I sighed heavily as Mikah returned with Carlisle in tow. A full glass of water in his hand, and various medications in his other arm. I hated bothering him with this, especially when it was no big deal.

He easily confirmed my fever, yet again, before sighing as Esme had done.

"I have a few options." He told me, "But for right now, I'd prefer you to take the nighttime cold medicine."

"Won't that make me sleep?" I mumbled, not at all happy about that.

"Sleep is your friend right now, princess." Mikah murmured.

"Not like this, it's not." I whined, forcing myself to sit up. I didn't miss the look Esme and Carlisle shared before Mikah spoke again.

"The more you sleep, the faster you'll feel better." Mikah told me, "I promise. If you take that, you'll be back to your stubborn old self in no time." That was tempting.

A few sneezes later, I could consider what Mikah was saying. I was already getting so tired of sneezing, and it was just the beginning. Mikah was promising that sleep would help me get over this faster, and I remembered what Carlisle had said what seemed like forever ago. Back in New York about sneezing. I couldn't sneeze if I was fully asleep.

I hesitated, glaring at Mikah for a moment before I sighed and looked up at Carlisle.

"Okay." I muttered, "I'll take it."

"Which would you prefer?" He asked, not arguing with me. Either a bottle with liquid in it, or a box of pills.

"Which is faster?" I asked in reply, "Whatever is faster. If it's going to make me sleep, I don't want to have too much time to worry about it."

Apparently, that was the liquid. I didn't like it, but if it helped me, I'd take it. I watched as he opened the bottle and measured out a bit in a little cup and handed it to me. It seemed like a lot to me, but it really wasn't a whole lot.

I made a face at the way it smelled, wincing over at Esme. If it smelled this bad, how would it taste? She laughed a little at the face I made.

"That's what this is for." She told me, lifting the glass of water, "Just hold your breath. It'll make it easier."

It took me a minute before I was steeled enough to take it. Taking a breath, I dumped the thick, sharp tasting liquid into my mouth and swallowed as quick as I could. I hated the thought that this stuff would knock me out, and the taste was horrible even through holding my breath, but Esme was quick to hand me the glass.

It wasn't as bad once I swished my mouth out a little, leaving a kind of sweeter aftertaste.

"Good job, princess." Mikah murmured from his place by the door. Esme smiled at me, obviously agreeing with him.

"Just rest now, honey." She told me, adjusting the blanket around me as I laid back down. I still wasn't happy, and I was sure it showed.

"Will you watch me?" I needed to know. If I was out cold, the last thing I wanted was for Jack to show up while I was unconscious.

"Of course." She replied, "The whole time."

I believed her. I knew when she said she'd watch me, she'd watch me.

I wasn't sure what they were waiting for, but neither Carlisle or Mikah left while I laid there. I couldn't help being comforted by that while fighting the tiredness I knew wasn't completely caused by the cold medicine.

I didn't know when Esme started to smooth my hair, the way she always did when I was nervous, but I didn't mind it, but soon enough, my eyes closed in the quiet of the room. Even heavier than the night before, and I knew that _was_ caused by the cold medicine.

When I woke up, sometime passed nightfall, it was the weirdest thing. I knew I was awake, but the heavy fog over my head made me feel like I was still asleep. I felt worse, somehow, and briefly hated Mikah for lying to me, but I knew that it wasn't his fault.

My head ached and pounded in the worst way, and I could tell that my fever had risen while I slept. I'd also developed a rattling cough which hadn't been there before I fell asleep, but thankfully, I was only awake long enough to eat some toast and swallow two pills before I was allowed to lay back down. My pillow felt too warm, so I squirmed a little until my head was beneath the pillow, resting on the bed itself. I felt like absolute shit warmed over, which was pretty common with a cold.

I fell back to sleep like that, Esme smoothing my hair back once more.

This time, I woke myself up with that cough. Apparently, it had been going on for awhile, but I was just too out of it to notice. It really sucked having my nose tortuously plugged and my chest filled with liquid that refused to come up, despite my coughing efforts. My own body was trying to suffocate me.

I was patient the first day, and tolerated it the second day, but the third day, it was really hard keeping me in bed. Even if I did feel like complete shit, it was harder for me to breathe while laying down, and I was really tired of being isolated.

The only reason Esme briefly allowed me out of my room was because I'd apparently broken my fever early that morning. Because of that, I was allowed to take the daytime cold medicine, the kind that wouldn't knock me out.

I felt like I had more cold medicine in me than I did actual food, which bothered me when I was awake enough for it to. I couldn't be out of my room for too long, though, because Carlisle was pretty sure I was still contagious and the last thing Bella needed was to catch this cold. Short of following me around with a can of antibacterial spray, there wasn't much Esme could do about that.

"Breathe, shorty." Emmett came into my room to see me at one point, right in the middle of a rather rough coughing fit. I understood why he'd be a little concerned, as it sounded horrible.

"I'm trying to." I panted a little, but I appreciated his company.

"Man," He chuckled, "When you get sick, you really get sick."

"I never get sick." I grumbled, fixing the blanket over my legs. Finally sitting up in bed, though, only made me want to get up even more. Esme laughed a little, patting my poor impatient hands as she stood up. Taking the empty soup bowl with her as she left the room.

"You should have seen her yesterday." Mikah pointed out across the room. He'd been another one that was there with me pretty much the whole time.

"Worse than that first night?" Emmett asked him, sitting himself on the side of my bed.

"Oh yeah." Mikah replied, "I think her fever reached a hundred-and-three before it broke this morning. Thankfully."

"I'm still sitting right here." I muttered, which prompted Emmett to reach over and press his hand against my forehead. I sighed, "Carlisle already checked."

"Can't be too careful." Emmett replied, but he seemed satisfied with his own assessment, "Not with that cough." The cold medicine seemed better at controlling my sneezes than my coughs, unfortunately.

"I don't get it." I muttered, "I never get sick."

"It's natures way of saying that this whole Jack thing isn't smart." Mikah replied and I gave him a look.

"Has Cole been staying away?" I asked, stretching my folded leg out in an effort to get more comfortable.

"Other than to check on you, yes." Mikah answered, "But you're not ready to pick up where you left off yet, princess."

"Why not?" I argued, "I'm awake."

"Geez." Emmett laughed, "Real go-getter. Take a break, shorty."

"I want to keep trying." I grumbled, "I can take a break after all this is done."

"Not today." Mikah insisted, "Maybe in a few days when that cough clears up a little."

"It's already clearing up." I countered, but I even knew that was a lie. I sighed, "Come on. I'm gonna be in here anyway. I might as well do something while I'm stuck in here."

"Not today." Mikah repeated, and though I glared, I wouldn't argue again. At least not right then. He returned my glare lightly before I looked down.

"Sorry, shorty." Emmett said, "I think he's right. Just start feeling a little better first." I went to argue with him instead, but he spoke up, "Better that isn't caused by the cold medicine." He had a point, so I huffed as much as I could and looked down again.

"Leandra." Esme obviously didn't approve of my arguing as she reentered the room. I watched her cross the room, coming back to my bedside. Sitting down before she handed me the cool, damp washcloth in her hand. I accepted it gratefully, covering my face with it almost immediately. My fever might have broken, but I was still a little too warm for my taste.

It wasn't until the next day that I was officially, yet still cautiously, allowed out of my room. Both my sniffles and my coughs were, as Carlisle described it, productive. I didn't exactly know what that meant, but I had a feeling it had something to do with the way I could actually somewhat clear my nose again, or cough and actually have it do something to lessen the rattling in my lungs.

It wasn't until I was officially, yet still cautiously, allowed out of my room that I saw what the family had been up to. The newest development sat on the couch next to Bella, to my surprise.

The second I stepped into the living room, I spotted him. It was Jacob.

"I see you're still alive." He greeted me, actually sounding surprised.

"Barely." I joked quietly in response, unable to help the emphasizing cough. He actually got the joke, to my further surprise.

Oddly enough, as much as I didn't like him the last time I saw him, I was relieved to see him there now. It meant Carlisle was doing what he said he'd be doing. Letting those that needed to know in on what was going on. A definite step in the right direction.

Bella, on the other hand, looked like she was doing about as well as I was. Twice as tired as she was when I last saw her, and twice as round.

"You need to start eating more." I told her and she looked down.

"I've been trying." She admitted quietly.

"Try stuff that's not really solid." I suggested, "You don't want to go to the blood yet, because it'll make her even stronger. If she's already beating you up now, think about how bad it'll be when she gets what she wants."

"Liquid diet?" Carlisle asked from behind me, and I nodded.

"Blood?" Jacob asked, obviously not liking that.

"Duh." I replied to Jacob, "I know what I'm talking about. Just leave the advice to me." He shuddered visibly, but didn't say anything else.

"We've tried giving her some soup, Leandra." Edward muttered. I assumed he was talking about the chicken soup I'd been surviving on for the passed few days.

"Did you try taking the chicken and stuff out first?" I asked, and by his lack of response, they hadn't. I spoke again, "Just the broth. Nothing else, and see how that goes. If that doesn't work, switch to just water for a day or something. After that, try it again. We gotta confuse the baby for it to work, because right now, she's being stubborn. She wants blood, but if Bella's going to make it through this in one piece, you want to keep her off blood as long as you can."

Esme immediately turned, heading for the kitchen. I looked back, watching her.

"Not too hot." I called after her, "Just barely warm. Almost cold. She'll digest it faster that way."

"So.." Jacob frowned, "You're telling me that this thing is half human?"

"Bella's half." I confirmed, sitting down in the closest chair.

"How do you know so much about this?" He asked the inevitable question.

"I just do." I replied, "This happened before, so I know what to do."

"Right." He muttered, "That gift you have."

"Yeah." I said, "I know it sounds weird. Believe me, but just trust me. You guys have nothing to be worried about."

"It really doesn't seem natural."

"I know." I sighed, "But just because it doesn't seem natural doesn't make it dangerous or something bad. New things happen all the time. I know it looks bad right now, but she can pull it off. I know it. It's really not that big of a deal."

"It must be nice to be so sure." He grumbled, looking to Bella again as she lowered her sleeves, indicating that she was cold.

"It is." I muttered, knowing full well he was being sarcastic, "For once, I'm sure about something. I'm sure about this."

Only about a minute later, Esme returned. A large mug filled with nothing but liquid. Bella wasted no time in sipping from it.

"Slow sips." I told her, and she glanced to me.

"I've tried eating slow too." She shook her head.

"Try it again." I corrected, "But slower than that slow. Really slow. Just a little bit at a time. Like.. Little half drinks every minute or something. I know you're hungry, but if you drink too much at a time too fast, you'll get full, and that will make you throw it up."

She hated to do so, but she did as I said. Smaller than half drinks, which was ideal. I couldn't blame her for wanting to chug all of it at once, but that wouldn't settle well. I waited for a minute before nodding to her and she took another small drink.

"How's that holding?" I asked hesitantly, and carefully, she nodded.

"So far, so good." She replied, and I smiled a little.

"Just like that." I said, "The more you can keep, the better for you. Pretty soon, you won't be able to do much for you. She won't let you. Small drinks, you'll still be hungry, but you'll keep it. That's what you want. You want to make it seem like there's nothing there."

"How do you know when she has to move onto blood?" Carlisle asked.

"Trust me." I said, "You'll know. If this still works, she's still got time. It's when _nothing_ works that she'll need the blood. When she can't stop throwing up, or trying to throw up no matter what, that's when she'll need the blood. That'll get her through just long enough that will help the baby get just big enough that she can be born without it being too hard on Bella."

"Leandra," Edward spoke up, and I looked to him, "Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah." I replied, standing up. I glanced to Bella again, "Remember. Slow." She nodded again, and I knew she would do that. Just in case, though, I looked to Rosalie, "Please make sure she follows the slow rule." Rose, to my surprise, nodded. It really surprised me how Rose was actually taking direction from me.

"I'll be good." Bella laughed a little.

"I know." I said, "I just know what it's like to be super hungry, and having something like that in front of you will make it really hard not to just down it. Trust me. It's better having someone to remind you. You'll thank me later."

She laughed again, shaking her head as I looked toward Edward again.

Turning, I followed Edward as he led the way toward my room. I wasn't sure if I was in trouble or not, but he didn't seem upset with me as he opened my door for me and I stepped into my room. He followed me, lightly closing the door behind himself.

I waited in silence, turning to face him as he hesitated. Obviously collecting his thoughts. It was really hard to read his expression, especially considering he hardly ever, if ever at all, requested to talk to me alone. It made me a little nervous, but I knew I really had nothing to worry about.

"Leandra," He finally spoke quietly, "I'm now convinced that this advice you have to give isn't from the same time in the vision you're recalling." I frowned. That had been unexpected, and really quite confusing. Not from the same time?

"Why?"

"Well.." He murmured, "The way you give this advice, as I said before, is like you've experienced it before. At this point in the vision, Bella was doing much worse than she is now, with no answers in sight. Now, you're giving her advice none of us knew to give her at this point."

"But since it happened before, I already know it." I pointed out. He should know this.

"None of us knew this." He clarified, "You didn't know it at this point. You're not recalling this experience when you tell her these things. You're recalling something else. Something I can't see."

I could see what he meant, but I was still confused.

"So.." I muttered, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," He replied, "I think these are things you learned later on in your life. The part of your life you can't remember yet. As if this isn't the only experience you've had with this particular situation."

"I don't think so." I said, doubtful, "As far as I know, there's no other babies like this one." But then again, I hadn't really thought about it. All I recalled of my older years was the night I died and had to be turned. There was so much between the point I made the agreement with Aro, up until that night. As he'd pointed out before.

"Exactly." He replied, "I think there's more that you can advise on if you could only remember those years."

"I've tried." I reasoned, "All it does is hurt me."

"Is there anything at all you can remember?" He asked, "Before the night you needed to be turned, there has to be something you can recall?"

"I don't know." I mumbled, standing back up with a sigh, "Is all this advice a bad thing?"

"Not at all." He said, "Not only is it helping her, it's also helping us. It's just very interesting to me, and it makes me wonder."

"You're only curious?" I asked and he gave me a confirming nod, "That's not so bad, then. I thought I was in trouble."

"We deeply appreciate your advice, Leandra." He replied, "It's been absolutely invaluable to us. Why would you be in trouble?"

"I don't know." I replied again, laughing a little, "I thought maybe I was saying too much. I just thought she should know everything, so she doesn't get worried when something changes, because it's going to change fast. Like.. Overnight fast."

I finally noticed, and realized that Edward was right. When talking about this subject, I had developed a habit of stopping myself when I wanted to continue. I'd been doing it this whole time, and I was sure my thoughts had been reflecting that as well. I just didn't know what it was I was wanting to say.

"There is more." Edward pointed out, and I looked down.

"Getting to it, though." I mumbled, "I don't know if I can, or even if I want to. It's just like that dream. The one where I kept waking up thinking someone was calling me. All that turned out to be was a weird dream about Jack. Maybe the rest of that vision is gone."

"I highly doubt that." He replied, "It's there, otherwise you wouldn't have this advice to give."

"Then why can't I remember it yet?" I asked, "I remember everything else."

"There could be many reasons why." He murmured, "Perhaps your mind is protecting you from the answer. The mind is a very complex thing, Leandra. It knows and tells more about you than you could ever hope to understand."

"Like what you can see?"

"Deeper." He replied, "I only see the thoughts others have. Those are just a very small part of what goes on in there. I think it's time you learn how to work with your mind, instead of working against it."

"How?" I asked, "It's never worked with me before."

"I believe it's trying." He said, "Showing you things about your life you need to look closer at. For example, that dream. It had obviously been trying for a while to show you that moment with Jack, and it made you look closer at it. I firmly believe these bits of advice you have is your mind's way of trying to work with you, trying to make you remember a moment that's important to you."

"Like the dream was." I was starting to understand.

"Exactly."

"I _know_ it was important to me." I said, "Whatever I can't remember, but I can't remember it no matter how hard I try."

"I think we need to consider the things Carlisle was telling you about last spring." He frowned in thought, "About your subconscious."

"Like what?" I asked, sitting back down.

"Possible ways to trigger the memory of those missing years into coming forward." He answered.

"What did he call it?" I frowned in thought this time.

"Sensory triggers." He replied, "Familiar sights, smells, sounds. I truly think that something out there has to be capable of triggering those missing memories forward. Rather than chasing them down, make those memories come forward. Have there been any moments where you felt yourself trying to remember it, brought on by anything specific?"

I sighed, looking down in thought, but it was a little difficult to think about that when I instinctively shied away from the very thought of chasing those missing memories.

"I don't know." I eventually muttered, "It's hard to think."

"Take your time." He said, "Just give it some thought. Moments where you tried to remember more than others. What brought on what happened in New York?"

That, I remembered. The very painful first time I'd tried to remember those missing years.

"Mikah." I replied quietly, "I was trying to figure out what meant so much to me about him."

"Okay." He nodded a little, "What about him made you try so hard?"

"I knew he was there." I said, "I just couldn't figure out what he was doing. I _needed_ to figure out what he was doing. Like it was the most important thing to me."

He turned a little, opening the door, "Mikah."

I suddenly understood what he was doing. He was trying to give my thoughts a nudge in the right direction, using Mikah. I suddenly had hope. Would I finally be able to remember all of this? Nobody knew my mind better than Edward. Besides myself, of course. If he could help me figure out how to bring those missing memories forward and I could complete the chain of memories, that would be awesome.

"Yes?" Mikah replied, just outside the door.

"Come in here, please."

"Certainly." Mikah chuckled, stepping into the room. He smiled at me as I looked over, and I couldn't help smiling back. Edward closed the door again, and I sighed.

"I don't know how this will help." I admitted, "I've tried remembering."

"Have you fully focused on it?" Edward asked, "Nothing else. Just him. Really look, Leandra. Not just with your eyes." Somehow, that made sense to me.

"Sorry," Mikah spoke up, "But what's my role?"

"Just stand there." Edward replied.

"Gotcha." Mikah nodded a little, clasping his hands in front of him. I sighed, turning a little on my bed to face Mikah across the room more easily. He stood there quietly, but he grinned at me. Completely messing up my attempt at focusing as I smiled in return. The situation was a little funny.

"Concentrate, Leandra." Edward murmured.

"Sorry." Mikah apologized before I could, looking down at the floor instead of right at me. I took a moment to lose most of my laughing smile, taking a breath as I looked at Mikah again. I tried hard, really looking at him while at the same time trying to recall that very brief bit I needed to remember about him. Almost comparing the two situations. Him standing there now, and him standing there then.

The slight ache I felt as I pushed my thoughts in that direction, though, quickly discouraged me and I looked down.

"Don't give up." Edward murmured, "Try again. You said it was important."

"It is important." I replied, "But I don't think I can do it."

"What exactly are we doing?" Mikah asked.

"We're trying to trigger the memory of the vision she can't remember into coming forward." Edward answered, "Somehow, you're a part of that."

"Start from the most recent backwards." Mikah suggested, "Not from the beginning." I frowned a little, slightly confused. He chuckled, "Retrace your steps, so to speak. Pretend you lost your keys, and you really need to remember where you put them." That made it a little more clear.

"Well.." I mumbled, looking down, "Right before I woke up, I was sitting outside. I was sitting out there, waiting for something to happen."

"Then let's go outside." Mikah suggested, and I hesitantly stood up. Before I could leave the room, though, Mikah handed me a thicker jacket. I didn't protest to putting it on. I didn't want to get sick again, considering I was still sick.

I knew the others had overheard what we'd been talking about, given the way they watched us as we crossed the living room. All except for Bella, but I knew she was still curious.

I stepped outside with both Edward and Mikah in tow. Stepping down the steps until I got to the right one. Carefully, I sat down in the same spot, the same position I had been in when I woke up. I looked around the empty yard, recalling perfectly the details of when I first woke up, but it wasn't helping me.

"Tell me." Mikah murmured, slowly sitting next to me, "You were sitting here. Why were you sitting here?"

"Aro." I mumbled, "We were waiting for him to find out.. About me, I think?"

"What about you?" Mikah asked quietly.

"I lived." I replied, "But.." I trailed off as I hit a wall. I shook my head a little.

"You're almost there, Leandra." Edward prompted behind me, and I appreciated his encouragement, but there was only so far I could push before I backed off again.

"I can't." I sighed, looking over at Mikah, "It's no use. Why does it even matter so much?"

"Because this has been bothering you for quite some time." Edward answered, "Don't be discouraged because it doesn't work right away. I know you can do this."

"Keep trying." Mikah smiled a little, "You can figure it out." I shook my head, and he looked back at Edward, "Maybe she needs another familiar spot?"

That wasn't such a bad idea. Sitting here didn't provide much background information for me to go by. There was another spot that would have to have background information for me.

"There's one." I mumbled hesitantly, "But I don't know where it is." I recalled it easily, looking back at Edward as well. Slowly, he nodded.

"Wait here." He murmured, turning toward the house. It sounded like he knew where it was.

"Where would this place be?" Mikah asked.

"I don't know." I replied, "I just know it's important. If I could get there, I think it might be enough of a sort of echo that I'll have no choice but to remember." I smiled, looking over at him, "If we can pull this off, do you know how amazing that would be?"

He smiled in response, so I went on.

"It's trying to make me remember already." I pointed out, "Like Edward said. I'm just too scared to go after it. I have been for awhile. I just.. I don't know if this will work."

"Have some faith in yourself, princess." He replied, "Do your thing. You wouldn't have this ability if you weren't meant to work on it. You just have to pace yourself. Do you think you're ready for this?"

"I think so." I hesitantly replied.

"Then go for it." He said, "You're the boss. Don't let something like doubt stop you. If this is something you want, I'm behind you one hundred percent."

"I know." I smiled this time, bumping him with my shoulder. He chuckled, reaching over and ruffling my hair a little bit. I swatted away his hand, fixing my hair.

"So let me hear you say it." He said, looking over at me.

"Say what?"

"Tell me." He replied, "Tell me that you can do this."

"I think-"

"No thinking." He laughed, standing up, "You can do it, so tell me that you can."

I laughed as well, following him from the steps out into the yard, "I don't want to say I can when I'm not all the way sure."

"That's the doubt." He told me, taking my hand and twirling me on the spot like a ballerina. I couldn't help laughing through that. He spoke again, "Tell that doubt to shut up. Just tell yourself that you were born to do this. Because you were."

"Okay." I laughed again.

"Say it."

"I was born to do this?" I asked, needing clarification.

"Exactly." He grinned, twirling me again.

We waited there perhaps a few minutes, until Edward eventually stepped back outside with Carlisle and Esme. Under his arm, though, were several articles of clothing. A warmer coat, a hat and gloves. It must have been colder where we were going.

"I'll take you there." Edward murmured and I slowly ascended the steps again, "Only because I think it'll help you. If it becomes too much, let me know and we'll leave immediately."

I nodded a little as I took the coat from him, pulling it on over my jacket. Taking a breath as I also pulled the gloves onto my hands and Mikah yanked the hat onto my head playfully. I gave him a look, fixing my hair where it was pinned into my eyes by the hat.

Once I was satisfied with where everything was, I nodded a little and Edward lifted me off my feet carefully.

"Just focus on the area." He told me, "Every detail you can remember. It'll help me find the exact spot easier. Mikah, you're coming too." Mikah was there that night. As Carlisle and Esme were, which made sense why he'd request their help in following us. He really did have the best ideas.

"Like I'd let you leave me behind." Mikah scoffed a little.

I did as Edward requested. Leaving my eyes shut tight, I focused hard on the memory of the area. I'd always remember that area. The look of the spot, the sounds of the area, the smell of the air. As many details as I could focus on, I kept them forward.

I could feel as the air got chillier across my face, and though it was warmer than what I remembered of it in the memory, it was familiar. It was a relatively short trip, but still a little too long in my opinion.

"Keep focusing on it, Leandra." Edward told me, so I turned my thoughts back that direction.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

Only a few minutes later, I was let down onto my feet. Around me, I could hear everything familiar. The sound of the rushing river, the wind through the tall pines around me.

"Is this the place, princess?" Mikah asked me, and I hesitantly opened my eyes. Looking around me carefully, I vaguely noted that Carlisle and Esme had both followed as well, which I'd expected. Just from the looks of this place, we were really high up.

"Umm.." I mumbled in thought.

I carefully stepped forward, coming to stand near the ledge of a very steep drop off. Involuntarily, I remembered the feeling of being nearly thrown backwards off of this ledge. This ledge.

"This is it." I muttered quietly. I glanced toward Edward briefly, "You found it."

"What is this place?" Esme asked, obviously confused. Reaching out a gloved hand, I rested it on the cold boulder to my left. The one I'd been forced to hide behind. I wasn't exactly surprised that Edward had left out the details of this trip.

"Edward?" Esme prompted when he didn't reply.

" _This_ is the place?" Mikah asked, having caught on thanks to the story I'd told him just a few days before.

"Yup." I replied quietly, "Exactly the same place."

"Is there anything you recognize?" Edward asked.

"I recognize everything." I replied, "I just.. Can't remember why I was here." I wandered over slowly, Mikah right on my heels as I carefully managed to get closer to the ledge. As big of a problem as I had with heights, it seemed different now that I was facing the reason why.

"This place has something to do with the vision." Carlisle caught on, and I glanced over at him, nodding.

"We're trying to retrace her steps." Mikah explained, "Hoping she'll remember something Edward wants her to remember."

"I want to remember it too." I pointed out quietly, "It's not just him."

"What happened here?" Esme asked, obviously really curious.

"This is where I almost died." I answered, peering over the edge again. I noted each and every sharp boulder down the side, the sharp edge I clung to for dear life. Right there.

Over the edge led to a steep, almost vertical sharp rocky incline to another, very thin ledge where the rock below that drew back just a bit. Leaving no hope for anything else to land on if anyone were to fall. Over that second ledge, was a straight drop to the wildly rushing river below.

All throughout the white, rushing water, were sharp edged rocks that stood above the water. The violently churning water hit them, splitting around them. Exactly the way I remembered it.

" _Here_?" She asked, now firmly against us being here by the sound of her tone, "Edward, what were you thinking? Bringing her here?"

"It's okay." I said, but I was in thought. I looked up again, turning to look around me. I turned a little more, stepping carefully to the side.

"Can we not play so close to the edge?" Mikah asked, his hand already out to catch me just in case. I knew me being right here worried him, but I felt confident enough in my balance that I wouldn't fall. I wasn't directly on the edge, just close to it.

"This is where he threw me." I murmured, looking over at Edward, "Right here. This was where I told him no, but.." I paused again, listening to the breeze around me, "It wasn't.. I didn't tell him no for me. It was for someone else."

"Who?" Esme asked quietly.

"Aro." I mumbled, looking to her now. Taking a breath, I looked back down. I went over the events closely in my mind. Going over the words spoken, looking for any hints. As weird as it was being here now, it was a good idea on Edward's part. Though technically, it was Mikah that thought to retrace steps, Edward first thought to try triggering it.

"So be it." I mumbled, mostly to myself as I looked down, "Such a shame, but _why_? Why do what he did? Why do what I did? _I_ made the agreement. Why wouldn't I stick to it?"

The breeze picked up a little, pulling my hair back over my shoulders, and the moisture I could smell in that breeze had me look over. Across the river, toward the other side. The water below never slowed, never let up. Continuing to rush with a fury that tried to speak to me.

This was frustrating me. So far, all bringing me here did was make me question even more. After a moment more of silence, Mikah spoke up.

"So.." He muttered, "You fell down that?"

"I didn't fall." I corrected, "I was pushed." That made a difference to me.

"And that's where..?"

"No." I replied, looking over the edge, "I was hurt pretty bad, but I would've lived. Just a few bad scrapes and probably some broken stuff, but no matter what I hit, I couldn't stop myself until I got to that ledge down there. I tried to hold on. I held on as long as I could, trying to wait for Carlisle to get to me, but I couldn't hold on. I couldn't, so I fell. It was the river that did most of the damage. That river."

"Holy _shit_." Mikah muttered, looking to the river as both Carlisle and Esme neared. Probably to get a good look as well. It really wasn't often that Mikah cussed, so I had a vague idea how hard it was for him to believe.

"I was here, right?" Mikah asked, and I nodded, "Then why didn't I grab you right away?"

I chewed lightly on my lip in thought, "You couldn't. You were the one that distracted Aro enough for Carlisle to come after me." I nodded forward, "See those looser pieces? Those were what made Carlisle have to be careful when coming to get me. I remember.. I was hanging there, hoping none of them hit me because it all sort of.. Funneled right to me because of the bigger pieces. He couldn't hurry like he needed to without hitting me hanging there."

"I see." Mikah muttered, obviously unhappy.

"He was so close to reaching me." I mumbled almost silently, "But Aro got away from you, and kept him from reaching me."

"And me?" Esme asked.

"You didn't have a chance to." I replied, "You stayed up there while Mikah tried to reach me instead when Carlisle was distracted. He was half way to me when I had to let go. After that, there's a lot that I don't remember, because I think I drowned a little bit, but.." I muttered, trailing off. I thought ahead to where I was turned. The area further up the river, that flat portion of the river's edge neatly nestled in the trees.

"There's one more place." I looked back at Edward, who'd been silent this whole time.

"Are you sure you can handle that, Leandra?" He asked me.

"Yes." I replied. I was obsessed now. I needed to figure this out as much as he clearly wanted me to.

Esme sighed, shaking her head as she figured out what we were discussing, "I really don't think-"

"Please." I said, looking to her, "It's the only way to think through this. I need to figure this out. _Please_." She didn't answer so I went on, "I promise I'll say something if I have to leave. If it's too much, Edward will know."

She sighed again, looking to Carlisle. He didn't seem to be as against it as Esme seemed to be, only giving a hesitant, allowing nod in response. He didn't like it any more than she did, but he listened to the need in my tone instead of focusing on my apparent fragile nature.

"Okay." Esme finally murmured, still clearly against it, "Lead the way." I was more than relieved that she was allowing this, since she seemed pretty protective of me, and this wasn't something she'd usually allow.

It took two tries to find it. Edward easily jumped across the river with me safely in his arms, and followed the water a ways before stopping.

"Here?" He asked, and one glance around had me shaking my head.

"Not here." I said, "Further, I think." It didn't surprise me that he was wrong the first time, because my memories of this spot weren't as clear as they had been for the first spot. I had been a little distracted the night I was here.

The next place he stopped and prompted, I immediately nodded, fighting to get down. This was it.

"Here." I said, jumping from his arms, "This is it." I turned a little on the spot, looking straight up at the sky from the point where I'd have seen from where I laid.

"What place is this?" Mikah asked.

"This was where I had to be turned." I answered, still staring upwards, "This was where I woke up after the river. Except it was nighttime." The flat solid rock under my feet felt the same as it had against the back of my head. Hesitantly, I lowered myself. Sitting down in what felt like the exact same spot I'd laid. Looking toward the river just feet away.

"This was where I was pulled out." I added, "Only this far, because I couldn't be moved too much." I recalled the injuries in vague detail, shying away from them myself.

It was definitely strange, being back here. As if I'd never left it. It was all up to me, though, to figure out what exactly led me to this spot. Nobody else could tell me, and the need to know was suddenly overwhelming. More than it had been when it all started. More than it had been when Edward first brought it up today. I was here now. What could it tell me?

"What?" I whispered to myself, looking upward again, "Why?"

I was silent now, as were the others. They just watched me as I went over that particular memory. I was trying my hardest to remember. The toughest choice I ever had to make. As much as I'd have loved to be let go, I couldn't take that way out. _Why_ couldn't I? Something, someone I had to get back to.

After several minutes, I looked over.

"Mikah, you were here." I mumbled, patting the rock beside me to my left, "Carlisle was here." I patted the rock to the right, "And Esme was right next to him.. Carlisle, you weren't sure about turning me, because Jasper talked you out of it. He thought that it should be my choice, but.. I couldn't really answer yes or no. I couldn't talk. I was too hurt." I recalled brief bits of the flood of blood that prevented me from talking. Pooling from my mouth each time I'd try. Thankfully, Edward didn't comment on that. It helped me keep my focus.

I looked over as Carlisle neared, obvious concern in his eyes as he kneeled beside where I sat.

"It was Edward that answered for me." I glanced back at Edward, "I couldn't just give up like that. There was someone waiting for me. Someone more important than me or what I wanted, so I wanted you to turn me. Mikah.." I glanced over at him, "He never left." Mikah smiled sadly, the gesture strained.

I knew it had to be hard for them to understand what I was doing by wanting to be here, but it was nothing I could explain.

"This is so weird." I had to admit that, "But not bad." I threw that part in to keep Esme from worrying about it.

I was beginning to get discouraged, though. Looking forward again at the river. This very important person meant more to me than my own life, and I still couldn't remember who it was.

"Why can't I remember who it is?" I whimpered, "That person is what's stopping everything else, but no matter how hard I try, I can't remember who it is. Why can't I remember who it is?"

"Keep trying, Leandra." Edward murmured, and I closed my eyes. Tightly closing them as I took a deep breath and I pushed just a little further. In this particular memory, my mind kept getting stuck on Josh, who was surprising enough to be there as well, but I knew it wasn't him I was looking for. It wasn't him, but maybe there was something more there.

"Josh was turned?" Edward asked, and his surprise surprised me. That must have been a smaller detail that was previously overlooked.

"Josh?" Mikah asked, also surprised, "That friend of yours?"

"Yeah." I replied, looking back at Edward, "But I don't know when."

"About sixteen." Edward murmured, "By the looks of him."

The click that followed his reply hurt a little bit, but I refused to let that slow me down. It was nearly physical, and after that, it rushed back to me.

"Fifteen." I suddenly said, looking back at him, "He was fifteen, because I was thirteen. I was thirteen. I was thirteen, and.. That was the first time I ever met Ken. Holy _shit_." I gasped, forcing myself to my feet. Standing up quickly as if the sudden rush of memories was too big for me to handle sitting down.

"Keep going, Leandra." Edward prompted.

"I was allowed to go to California with them that summer." I turned, pacing a little, "I met Ken there, and.. Mikah was there to watch me. That's when I first met Mikah. Instead of being here, with us, Mikah was with Aro, and had to watch me or him to make sure I stayed out of trouble."

"Fat chance." Mikah scoffed, but I ignored him. As much as I wanted to stay on those new memories of Mikah, I didn't want to stop there. I had to keep going.

"When Josh took me somewhere I could get into a lot of trouble," I continued, following the flood of suddenly unstoppable memories, "He got into trouble instead. He got really hurt instead, b-but.. B-But.. But I didn't know that then." I paused for a few seconds, before continuing, "Mikah found me before anything could happen to me. He took me back to the house that night, but Josh wasn't there."

It was silent now.

"I didn't find that out until I was sixteen, when I went to Aro, that he'd taken him." More memories opened themselves in my mind like an avalanche. Like the wall hiding them just dissolved to let them through, "Aro! Mikah had taken Josh to Aro, and Aro turned Josh, because.. Because Aro knew what Josh meant to me, because he'd seen it. He knew I'd do better there with Josh there to keep me company, but.. There was another reason. What was that reason?" I lightly smacked my forehead with my palm in frustration. Come _on_..

"You're so close." Edward pointed out again.

"Aro turned him to keep me company." I said, keeping my focus on that bit, "To spend time with me.. Josh.. He was the only one allowed to spend time with me when I wasn't with Aro. Everyone else couldn't, because Aro wanted to keep me safe. I went to Aro when I was sixteen, five years from the day I made the agreement with him. Five years from.. December.. Five years from December twenty-seventh. That's the day all that happened. That's the day everything went wrong.

"I went to him five years from December twenty-seventh, when I was sixteen, and Josh was the only one allowed to spend time with me, and he did. I was only with Aro for.. About six months before.. Before I came back." I looked toward Carlisle, "I had to come home. Aro sent me home.." I went back to my pacing, "But _why_? Why did I have to go home?"

The sudden emotion that brought forward was nearly unstoppable, but I barely noticed the few tears that managed to escape. I barely felt the emotion, needing to keep pushing forward.

"Why?" I asked myself again, quieter this time.

Carlisle still seemed concerned, but I couldn't let myself focus on that. I was so close to figuring it out. The one piece of this I needed to figure out, and I wasn't taking no as an answer from my mind.

"Okay." I mumbled, again to myself, "I was there, Josh was there.. But.. Something happened. Something happened that made me have to come home, but not for good. Not for good!" Another wall moved.

"I couldn't stay!" I went on, amazed at just how one realization could pave the way for even more. One memory cascading into another like a puzzle constantly clicking pieces into place. I continued.

"I wanted to stay, more than anything, but Aro wouldn't let me stay!" The subtle way my voice broke as I spoke didn't even slow me down this time, "He still owned me, and I _had_ to go back. I had to go back to keep everyone safe, but.. I didn't want to. Aro only sent me there to.." I stopped again, because I met one last resistance.

I took a deep breath, squeezing my eyes shut and forcing myself passed that last bit of resistance. I needed to start that train of thought over. Continuing to pace. Come on, I told myself again. Come _on_..

"Josh was there, and I was there.." I trailed off for a few seconds, "We were both there, but something happened.."

"What happened, Leandra?" Mikah asked hesitantly, quietly, "Come on, princess. You can do it." That bit of reassurance was exactly what I needed. I took a breath, crossing my arms tightly across my chest and closing my eyes.

I suddenly stopped my pacing, my entire body freezing for a second as I lost my breath. I remembered. My mind wanted to get stuck, but it now knew. Only a mild pain accompanied this suddenly freed memory and I understood immediately that I'd never forget it again for as long as I lived.

Remembering one person unlocked the rest of the harsher, faster flood of memories stuck behind that one person. One person capable of taking my every sense of protection and focus. A flood of intense, dizzying understanding washed over me in one split second. Overwhelming me, freezing me on the spot.

"Leandra?" Esme seemed worried as my crossed arms suddenly fell to my sides.

"That's it." Edward murmured, and I looked to him. I'd hardly just met his eyes before I was suddenly in crushing tears. The vividly intense sense of loss now stole my strength to stand, and I collapsed to my knees. Thankfully, right beside Esme.

"Edward?" Esme asked, deeply concerned as she pulled me to her and held me as I sobbed. I might have been unable to speak, but I could still think. I had to get all this out. I forced myself to think straight, and I recalled for Edward everything I could suddenly remember. Every single thing, in suddenly clear as day detail.

My sixteenth birthday, anticipating fulfilling the agreement with Aro. The last few months, weeks and days with the family, and how strong I tried to be while it was killing me inside.

I recalled for him the day I had to leave, and what my first few months there were like. Finding Josh there waiting for me. Immortal three years by then, and to my embarrassment, I couldn't skip over the memories of the night I had with him.

That wasn't what made me start crying again. It was memory of the result of that night that tore me up.

"Leandra, honey?" She murmured to me, smoothing my hair from my tear-stained face, but I shook my head, glancing up at her.

After Esme's brief interruption, it was hard to straighten my thoughts again, but I managed to. I continued remembering for him. Every single detail of what I went through to eventually survive the birth of my son human.

Isaiah.

I took a breath, now sobbing quietly as I remembered every moment I had with him until I had to leave again to protect him. That was what led to my being turned.

Aro finding out I no longer had my gift, and what that prevented him from doing to me. The plan Aro had for me, but the fact he never got to act on it. My rescue from Volterra by Carlisle and Esme, and the fear I had that they hadn't made it.

The intense effort to keep them off our trail by splitting up, and what that eventually led to. I recalled exactly how I'd come to be hurt enough to have to be turned. How crystal clear that memory was, the memory of the pain of being turned and the fear I had each time I tried to open my mouth only to have blood pile out.

Turning me was necessary. There was no other way for me to stay.

Waking up once I was turned, my first hunt, and seeing my son for the first time after being turned. My emotions, thoughts, actions and instincts as a newborn, and how they all piled into one intense memory of facing off with Jacob as Renesmee held Isaiah.

I hadn't _wanted_ to hurt anyone, but I would have to get my son back into my arms.

As a side memory, I recalled for Edward what Renesmee was like. How brave, and loving she was, and how beautiful she was. How wonderful of a person I knew she would one day grow to be. How grateful I was to her for keeping my son safe during our family's attempts to rescue me.

I continued on, recalling perfectly my feelings for Mikah, and I fully understood now what he meant to me then as well. It suddenly made perfect sense to me why I'd be so attached to Mikah now. He'd been around for quite some time at that point, and he'd always been just as supportive then as he was now.

Still crying, I looked to Mikah now. Seeing him a whole lot differently than I had been seeing him this whole time. It hurt to have my view of him changed, but it hurt in a good way. I finally understood. It just made sense.

His expression gave away his worry. No one but Edward knew what I was doing right then. Nobody else understood yet where I was.

My new memories collided fiercely with the fragments of the memories I'd always had of my newborn life, violently painfully connecting them together to form one long memory. As if I'd never lost my memory in the first place, clicking together, and it all ended with me sitting on the front porch, right before I woke up to be nine years old again. Where this life began. Like all of that hadn't been just a memory or a dream. I'd lived all of that, and I'd lived all of this until now when I could finally remember it all for Edward to take as well. Like one, very big loop.

By the time my recollection for Edward ended, I knew for a fact that I was changed. Like my own sort of transformation. My own changing that would make sure I would never be the same again.

It hurt. It really did to remember my son and exactly what he meant to me. There was no other feeling in the world like it, and I still couldn't believe it took me this long to remember it.

"That was quite a lot." Edward finally murmured nearly silently, "Leandra, I'm _so_ sorry. Words cannot express." I knew why he was apologizing. He saw why I was hurting so much.

I understood the fact that I couldn't have my son. Even if I could somehow force myself to be with Josh that way again, it wouldn't be the same. Nothing in my life would be the same as it was in that vision, and the pain of that realization was heavy.

"What happened?" Esme asked, concerned, "What did she show you?"

He didn't reply right away, watching me. Probably thinking.

"The missing piece." Edward answered after a moment.

"Well?" Mikah barked when he didn't continue.

"It all makes sense now." Edward murmured, "Everything makes sense. Several weeks ago, I was wondering how she could get from the agreement made with Aro to being turned by Carlisle at seventeen." He paused, and they waited, "She finally remembered what events took place to make that happen." He sighed, shaking his head, "Carlisle, we cannot let Aro get a hold of her. Not ever. We have to do something to prevent that."

"What happens?" Carlisle asked, standing slowly.

"It's okay." I sobbed, looking to Edward, "You can tell them. Even if it is stupid." I took a deeply emotional breath, shaking my head.

"Not in the least." Edward countered, turning to look at me, "It's not stupid at all, Leandra. Essentially, you died protecting him. I saw your reasons, and I saw how much he meant to you, and now that you remember him, and fully know he's someone that'll never live, that's hard. Believe me, I know."

It really did hurt. Though I was still eleven now, I was sixteen when Isaiah was born, and I had grown up enough by then to know what it felt like to love someone so much, to give my last breath for, and that was something that hurt to break, knowing it could never happen. I'd lost someone today. Someone very important to me, even if he never actually existed. In remembering the rest of this, I'd lost the most important person in my life, and it hurt just as much as if he'd existed.

" _Who_?" Mikah finally grew impatient.

I nodded, giving Edward permission, and I sat quietly as he provided the explanation they all needed. I knew way out here, nobody but them would overhear, and I took comfort in that as well as Esme's arms securely around me. It only took a few minutes for him to repeat the things he'd gotten from me. It couldn't have taken much longer for me to recall these things for him, but to me, it'd felt like a lifetime.

"Carlisle," Edward murmured in conclusion, "It's possible. She's just given me every solution when it comes to Bella's pregnancy."

I understood his excitement, but I still felt like crap after remembering all of that at once. I felt sore, but I knew. This was a good thing in a way. Horribly painful in another way, though.

"If it all goes as smoothly as it did for her," Edward went on, "Bella could survive this human. This whole time, Leandra has been giving her advice based on what she experienced herself, and she never even knew it. Now I understand. It's so simple. It _can_ be done."

"That solves that issue," Mikah finally mumbled, "But what about Aro?"

"That involves another discussion." Edward sighed, "It's pretty extensive, and I'd rather have everyone else there for that."

"Can we go home now?" I asked quietly, "I don't feel so good." Now that this had proven to work, I didn't want to be here anymore.

"Of course, honey." Esme murmured, slowly standing and helping me up with her. I was glad she was there. Standing on my own seemed impossible now.

"Are you okay, princess?" Mikah asked, bringing attention to me, "You're kind of pale."

"Just tired, I think." I replied quietly, sniffling. Truthfully, I felt more nauseous than tired, but I didn't want to say that. I'd begged to come out here. I'd begged to do this, and now that I had, I felt rather empty.

The run home was mercifully short. Laying in Esme's arms this time, I hardly had the energy to stand once we were home. I was more exhausted than I'd been in a long time, and I knew that was completely caused by my now completely overloaded mind. There was hardly any room for anything else.

Everything at home seemed perfectly fine, which I was grateful for as I dragged myself toward my room. Not a word to anyone else. I knew I was watched closely, not just by the ones that had come along with me today, but everyone else in the room. I couldn't care about that. I needed to sleep more than I needed to care.

"Is she okay?" Alice asked from where she sat beside Bella, "She doesn't look so good."

"Today's been eventful." Mikah answered her, and I stopped listening as I rounded the doorway into my room. I knew something was wrong when I had trouble removing my coat and jacket. Thankfully, Esme was there to help me.

She didn't try to talk, for which I was grateful. I really wasn't up to talking. I needed to rest, and everything I'd remembered just now had taken so much out of me while giving me so much at the same time.

I fell heavily into bed, and was nearly instantly asleep, left over tears still trailing from my eyes.

I wasn't sure how long I slept, but I eventually did wake up to the feeling of a cool washcloth being placed over my forehead. Almost immediately after feeling the washcloth, I figured out that my fever had returned by exactly how overheated I was, and I began to cry.

The rough memory of waking up in New York after being unconscious for several hours crawled over me at the violent, unbearable pain in my head. The pressure squeezed involuntary tears from my eyes, just like it had before, but already, this was so much worse.

"I know." Esme murmured from beside me, "I know, sweetheart." She had no idea. If she knew, she'd be a lot more worried than she was. I could only handle about ten seconds of this pain before I was forcing myself to sit up. The cool washcloth fell from my head into my lap as I reached up, pressing both palms against my forehead. I couldn't speak to explain that my head was splitting.

Before she could even ask, I was moving.

I fought my way out of bed around her, made it about three feet before falling to my knees and grasping desperately for my thankfully empty trash can. I just barely managed to pull it to me before I threw up into it. The force of throwing up only made the pain increase, my cries intensifying because of it. This had to have been the worst pain I'd ever felt and it wasn't getting better. There was only so much blinding pain I could handle, and I was quickly finding new limits I never knew existed.

I now held my breath, gripping my hair in both hands and falling forward where I kneeled, curling into a ball face down against my carpet. As if trying to protect myself from this agony, but it wasn't working.

I literally couldn't think. I couldn't even take the two seconds it took to wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Running on pure instinct and desperation at that point. Nothing was helping me, and it just kept mounting.

"Sit up." I didn't have an ounce of resistance in me as I clung to the hands helping me turn over. I focused only enough to know that it was Carlisle beside me and that I was shaking violently, but that was about it. I didn't dare open my eyes to look at him. There was no way I could. I could barely breathe as it was, the ripping pain in my head making taking a voluntary breath impossible. Even breathing was on autopilot, but it was racing.

This was topping that migraine I'd had in New York by about three fold, four fold, and quickly continuing to get worse by the second. I couldn't stand it.

Just like in New York, Carlisle made sure I was staying upright, his hand supporting the back of my neck and lightly pressing on both sides of it. Right at the base of my head. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but I actually didn't care anymore.

He was talking, rather loudly, but I couldn't hear him anymore. His words not registering. Just mumbled noise in my head that wasn't able to handle any more noise. The sound of my pounding, rapid heartbeat was loud enough.

Thankfully, mercifully, I fell back to sleep. Everything faded fast, including the pain.

I was even less aware of how long I'd slept this time. When I started to wake up again, it was silent around me. I was resting. Pretty comfortable where I was, but I was a little sore from obviously laying still for so long, so I sleepily moved my left leg out a bit.

It helped, but less than two seconds after I had moved, I was startled.

"Leandra?" It was Mikah. I jumped a little, flinching and whimpering at his anxious tone. I blinked open my eyes, looking over at him dizzily. I didn't even have time to look toward the door opening before Mikah was suddenly sitting me upright and hugging me almost too tightly.

The darkness of the room, aside from my dim light on across the room helped my sore head, making it hardly hurt to open my eyes.

"Thank God." Mikah muttered, clearly relieved at the fact that I was awake. I grunted at the force of his hug, slightly bewildered but really quite disoriented. I stayed sitting up as Mikah suddenly moved and allowed Carlisle to kneel in his place, looking me over as he did so. I frowned a little at his worry.

It only took me a few seconds longer to remember why they were so worried. Instantly, intensely thanking my lucky stars that all that was left of that debilitating, crushing migraine was a slight ache.

"I know." I mumbled quietly, my tone slightly shamed.

"Look at me." Carlisle requested firmly, and I did so. Holding his gaze as steadily as my tired eyes would allow, "Can you see?"

"Yeah." I replied, and knowing the usual questions, I went on, "I'm only a little dizzy, and my head barely hurts anymore." Much to his relief, given his sigh, "I'm sorry I worried you."

"More than you know." He murmured, shaking his head.

"How long was I asleep this time?" I asked, looking to my bedside clock. It was just before four in the morning.

"A little over twenty four hours." He answered, "Leandra, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." I muttered, "I'm just hungry, and I _really_ have to _go_." With that said, I moved to scoot off the bed. Though he watched me, he allowed me to move away. It was a little tough standing at first, but I got the hang of it with Mikah's hand suddenly there to keep me steady. The way he looked at me, though, told me he was actually terrified. I couldn't exactly blame him with the way I cried just awhile ago.

Once I stepped out of the bathroom, Emmett greeted me as usual. To my surprise, though, Edward was second in line to hug me, and I realized. He wasn't there the last time this happened.

"I'm fine." I told him, returning his hug lightly, "Just needed a reset, I guess."

"I don't think you realize just how worried we've all been." He replied, "I'm _so_ sorry I pushed you."

"You didn't push me." I said, pulling back, "I pushed me. Just like last time, but it was worth it this time."

"You and I have very different opinions on the meaning of the phrase, 'worth it'." He sighed as Mikah took his second hug. Just as Emmett had, both arms full around me and lifting me off my feet.

"I was so afraid." Mikah murmured, and I shook my head a little. What was the big deal? So I had a day-long nap. It wasn't the end of the world.

"She has no idea, does she?" Edward asked quietly, looking to Carlisle as he came to Mikah's side.

"I haven't told her yet." Carlisle replied.

"Tell me what?" I asked hesitantly, dropping to my feet before it was Esme's turn for a hug. Where had she been? Her hug had more emotion in it than Mikah and Emmett's combined. I shivered a little in the cool air of the hallway, but I knew it was nothing compared to before.

"Technically," Mikah explained, his tone crushed and quiet, "You died." That shocked me into turning around sharply to look at him.

"What?" I asked, breathless.

"For five minutes, your heart stopped beating." Carlisle confirmed softly, "After I managed to re-start your heart, you were breathing on your own again, and you were fine, but.."

"When you didn't wake up," Mikah finished for him, "We weren't sure."

"Wow." I mumbled, stunned. I could still hardly breathe. My heart seemed to be beating fine now, but the thought that it had actually stopped for even a single second, much less five minutes, scared me.

I looked up at Carlisle, "Thank you." Those two words didn't seem like enough. I had to imagine, though, what that must have done to them. How that must have made them feel.

"You have no idea, Leandra." Edward murmured quietly, and I looked down. Just thinking about it made my feet carry me forward. Hugging Carlisle as tightly as I could. Of course he didn't seem to mind that at all, returning it.

"Thank you." I mumbled again, and he sighed.

"I'll go find Jasper." Emmett volunteered, his voice quieter than I'd heard it in a long time.

"Find him?" I asked.

"He hasn't been back for a few hours." Mikah replied, "When we weren't sure if you'd wake up, he took it pretty hard."

"I'm okay." I muttered, still hugging Carlisle, "I'm okay." I honestly wasn't sure if I was telling myself that, or if I was letting him know. I closed my eyes, still hardly believing what I was told.

My head was still spinning with all that I'd remembered, now this just added to it. Thankfully, I still remembered it. Considering what remembering all that led me to, I was really grateful it all hadn't been lost.

"Why?" I had to wonder. Why had my heart stopped? Did something cause it, or would it happen again?

"I'm not sure." Carlisle replied, "I can only assume that your mind had just been through too much too quickly, and the overwhelming volume of activity made it stop everything momentarily."

That made sense, but it was still scary.

Unfortunately, I was pretty tired. Even after just waking up from my apparent coma, so once I ate and had plenty of water, I had to return to bed. This time for actual sleep, so I couldn't stay awake for Jasper's return. I assumed Alice was out there somewhere with him, which was why she wasn't there scolding me the second I first woke up.

More sleep was not only accepted, but highly encouraged. I wasn't surprised by that. I knew full well that I'd pushed my mind far passed its own limits by doing what I'd done, but once again, it was worth it to me. I wasn't sure it was worth worrying my family that way, but by doing what I'd done, I remembered the most important person. I'd accomplished so much, and despite it nearly costing me my life, I'd completed what I'd set out to complete.

My entire life before was now complete. A few details, quite a few details, I'd rather not have remembered, but those details completed everything in such a way that made it easier to understand everything that was different now. That required such a high degree of understanding I didn't have before. Now I did.

I almost couldn't believe what I'd done, and I owed it all to Edward. He pushed me, kept me going all the times I wanted to quit. The key to unlocking everything was going back to the place where my human life ended. Being there in that place demanded that I remember what brought me there for me to appreciate its meaning. I'd done it.

Sleep now held a different meaning for me. My mind wouldn't force me to sleep like that if it didn't need sleep to fix itself. I had a feeling that that day-long sleep was the only thing I had to thank for me being able to wake up like nothing happened. It was the same thing before, in New York. Sleeping that way allowed my mind to not only repair itself, but to grow. To accept more in the place of less, and to push its limits farther than they'd been before. Pain was always a part of growing. Getting stronger. Each time I'd back off when it started to hurt made it impossible to grow. I saw that now.

Edward sure wasn't lying when he said that the mind was a very complex thing. That I had to work with it to make it reach its potential, to increase the limits of what it was capable of. To push out instead of keeping it closed. I felt proud of myself for once, despite the worry I knew it caused. I appreciated everything now in a different way. I now owed Edward more than I could ever possibly repay for making me see that in a way nobody else could.

I didn't dare doubt what I was capable of anymore. At least not when it came to my gift. Now that I fully understood exactly what was possible. Looking back now was like looking into a mirror, except that mirror no longer showed who I was. Only who I used to be. Like looking at a whole different person next to me.

As weird as it was to think about it that way, I didn't really have any other way to describe it. Remembering all I remembered now had changed me. Drastically.

I was still asleep when Jasper and Alice did get back, and I only knew they were back by being suddenly woken up by a hug. Just like with Mikah, but this one was a bit easier to adjust to. It took me a moment, but once I realized it was Alice, I returned her hug just as tightly.

"Don't _ever_ do that again." She immediately told me.

"I did it." I was still proud, despite how upset with me she was. Pulling back a little, I could look at her easier, "I did it."

"I know." She replied, "Don't do it again."

"I don't _have_ to." I laughed a little. She wasn't getting it, "Everything I had to find, I found. It's all here now. I remember it all. Everything."

She sighed, as if I was the one not getting it, hugging me again as she shook her head.

I might have still had quite a sense of loss, but the sense of accomplishment made the whole experience worth it to me. That might not have been something she understood, but I understood it just fine, and to me, that was what mattered.

"I finally did it." I said again. I felt oddly emotional, knowing that this was something I'd been working for from the day I'd met her.

I'd done it. I could just see over Alice's shoulder, looking right to Jasper standing in the doorway. It was difficult to read his expression, but I recognized an emotion there that I'd seen a while back, while we spoke on the porch. The very same emotion he had when he pointed out that I was growing up, but it was slightly different now. Holding a definite coloring of sadness to it.

I understood it to a point, but I had a feeling that that was something he'd have to deal with on his own. For now, I would focus on that sense of accomplishment. I'd focus on feeling better, and I would focus all I had now back onto Jack. I wasn't done with him.

 **A/N: There it is. :D I know this is mostly a filler chapter, but I also know this topic has been plaguing me for awhile now. I had to decide when I was going to make her remember, and this time around it felt like such a momentous occasion, I just had to devote a chapter to it. In the midst of everything else going on, I felt like I owed her something worth being proud of.  
I was going to wait a few more days, but I'm releasing this today because today is my birthday, and I can do whatever I want. _Happy birthday!_ :D  
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! To my reviewers of last chapter! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  
Chapter Twelve, we'll be moving on. Now that this is out of the way, I feel like we can continue. That probably won't be released for at least another few days, unfortunately. I apologize for that.  
Until Twelve, my friends! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

It wouldn't happen today. I wasn't stupid. Jasper wouldn't be the only one rethinking this whole thing if I really came that close to dying. Actually _dying_. Even that thought made me cringe. It was true. It couldn't have happened at a worse time.

After an entire day of mandatory bed rest, my cough hung around, but I hardly sneezed anymore and my temperature was back to normal. I still felt tired, but I was allowed to move around again. I'd followed those strict bed rest rules closely. I only left my bed twice for the bathroom, took several naps, and stared at the wall. I was bored out of my mind, but I wouldn't fight them on this. Not if I wanted to get my way.

I found Bella easily once I could, but the way she looked at me made me pause.

"Are you crazy?" She asked me, and I rolled my eyes. Sitting down. I'd heard this speech repeatedly by then, and I was pretty tired of it by then.

"I probably am." I replied.

"You knew what would happen if you did what you did," She went on, "And you did it anyway. How is that smart?" I blinked in surprise, before I started to laugh. I'd said that exact same thing about her, and I definitely found the irony.

I glanced over as Edward even laughed a little, glad I wasn't the only one in on the joke.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"Nothing." I replied, "You're right, though. I know it wasn't smart, but it wasn't about being smart. All that stuff that I remembered was really important, and I needed to know it."

"It was that information that told us what we needed to know about the end of the pregnancy." Edward told her, and she looked to him, "She could write her own book on the subject with all she knows about it."

"Oh." Bella murmured, seeming to understand a little more, "I still don't know about taking the baby out early, though."

"She'll be fine." I shook my head, "They just have to watch super close, to make sure they get her out in time. They'll know, because toward the end, you'll get really tired. When you get that tired, it's because she's growing faster and almost ready."

That seemed to make her nervous, as she looked down at her stomach.

"Don't worry." I mumbled, "Trust them. They know what they're looking for, and all they want is to keep you safe. They're not going to let anything happen."

"I'm more worried about the baby." She admitted.

"She'll be fine too." I replied, "She's pretty tough. Much tougher than you." I watched as she suddenly winced, leaning over and her hand covering her other side. I nodded a little, "And try not to worry too much. She'll know."

Through her wince, she looked over at me.

"She feels what you feel." I explained, "When you're worried, she'll be worried because she'll know something is wrong. When you're calm, she'll be calm. Be calm. Be happy. I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax. Just tell her that everything will be fine, and she'll believe you. Because it _is_ fine."

"How can you be sure?" She asked.

"Because I know it." I answered, "You can do this." I hesitated as she slowly sat upright again, looking back down at her stomach, "I'm counting on you to be the only thing still the same in this whole mess."

"Tanya is planning to visit sometime this week." Edward murmured quietly, and I looked over. That was awesome news.

"Does that mean that Sam is okay?"

"For now." Edward nodded, "They don't like it, but they're not upset." I nodded as well, sighing in relief. He spoke again, though, "But.. As for the other topic you were wondering about, I'm afraid you may be right."

"What topic?"

"This whole Jack business." He answered, and I slouched in disappointment.

"What?" I asked, "Why?"

"The others were discussing it last night, and they really aren't sure you should continue with this obsession."

"Oh, come on." I snapped, standing up, "Let me guess. They were listening to _Mikah_. He wouldn't let me breathe if he thought it was dangerous. I can do it. I know I can."

"It's not a question about whether or not you can do this." He replied, "It's a question about whether or not you _should_. Considering since this entire thing began, you've faced numerous health issues."

"Hey," I countered, "I didn't die a little bit because of Jack, so that doesn't count here."

"I don't think it's possible to die 'a little bit'." Bella mused to herself, but I ignored that.

"Come _on_." I whined, "I worked too hard to make them agree. One more try?"

"I'll talk to Carlisle," He replied, "But I refuse to make any promises. It's pretty unanimous at this point." I groaned, flopping back. As if emphasizing their point, though, I had to cough. As much as I tried to hold it back, it wouldn't be held back.

"I'd be okay with waiting until my cough goes away." I added once I recovered a little bit, "But I want to keep trying."

"I'll see what I can do." He replied and I sighed, but nodded. It wasn't his fault.

I looked over as Mikah and Emmett both walked in from outside, immediately glaring at Mikah.

"You're an asshole." I snapped, sitting up and standing in one fluid movement before I turned and headed for my room. Ignoring Bella's surprised laughter behind me.

"What did I do now?" He asked behind me, but I refused to answer, letting my door close behind me.

I was mad, but I also had expected this, and as mad as I was at Mikah, I owed him more than staying mad. For too long, anyway. I was still mad, and not much could change that.

It actually took me a minute to realize. I was in here alone. As much as I wanted to keep trying this thing with Jack, I didn't want to be in here without that safety net, so as soon as I realized, I turned with a yelp and quickly opened my door. Nearly running into Mikah on the other side of it.

I sighed, calming down as I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, princess." He said, watching as I turned again and went back into my room. I left the door open, knowing he'd follow.

"I _know_." I groaned, flopping face down onto my bed, "I get it, but just because I get it, doesn't mean I have to like it. I just.. I really wanted to help. I wanted to _do_ something."

"You _have_ helped." He reminded me, "I can't stand this. This.. This constant need to prove yourself. It's like nothing you ever do is good enough for you. It's like you don't even see all the good you've done. Why are you like this all of a sudden?"

"You don't get it." I muttered, resting my chin on my folded arms.

"I know I don't." He replied, "But I'm trying to. What is it about this that's making you so determined, princess?"

I took a breath and rolled over onto my back.

"It's not really something I can explain." I sighed, "And I guess it doesn't even really matter now, does it?"

"Sue me." He said, "I'm trying to keep you safe."

"I know." I replied again, "I know, but maybe I don't need to be _that_ safe. Let me do this, Mikah. I know I can."

"Nobody is denying that you can do this." He replied.

"Then stop acting like it." I snapped lightly, sitting up, "Stop treating me like some cold is going to kill me, or like I'll snap in half at the smallest little bit of pressure. I'm tougher than that. I've always been tougher than that."

"Is that what this is?" He asked, "Are you trying to somehow prove yourself? Well, job well done. You've done it."

"No I haven't." I said, "That's not what this is about anyway. I'm just saying. I can do more than what you think I can."

"Not this." He finally sighed, "I'm sorry, princess. I'm not letting you face him alone."

I groaned loudly, "That's not-"

"That's exactly what you want." He countered, knowing what I was going to say, "You might not be wanting to prove yourself to us, because you know that that's already been accomplished, but you are trying to prove yourself to you. This is not the way to do that. I understand the need, more than you know, but no. Not like this."

"That's not what I'm doing!"

"Then what are you doing?" He asked, and I hesitated. I didn't have the answer to that right off the top of my head. He spoke again, "What are you doing, Leandra? You know full well that you can't face an immortal like Jack on your own. Especially not while you're on some sort of power trip." I glared at him, but turned away, "Yes, what you did the other day is.. Amazing. More than amazing, but for Pete's sake, girl. You're eleven. Give it a rest."

"You're wrong." I replied sharply, but I didn't know what else to say.

I wasn't sure how I felt about him talking to me like that. All it really did at first was make me mad, but I didn't want to keep fighting with him. In a hurry, I strode for the door. He moved to catch my arm as I passed him but I shook him off with a deep glare up at him and continued on my way. He sighed, but didn't try calling me back.

I ignored him the rest of the day. Choosing to stay in the living room instead. I knew the others had heard our argument, but thankfully, nobody said anything.

He grew tired of me ignoring him, though, right before dinner while I was watching TV with Emmett. Bella was stretched out, laying on the couch but still mostly awake while I shared the chair with Emmett. I lounged on the armrest beside him, quieter than usual, but Emmett didn't seem to mind that much.

"Leandra." He sighed, standing in front of the TV, "Would you just-"

"Move." I barked at him, throwing the pillow my head had previously been resting on.

"Would you just listen to me?" He asked, catching the pillow, "Please?"

"Move!" The heat behind that one word even startled me as I sat up to make it even louder, but I didn't let on as I glared at him. Aside from the TV, it was silent in the room as I glared at him and he watched me in return. I vaguely noted Emmett stifling his laughter beside me, but it wasn't loud enough to piss me off.

After only a few seconds, Mikah sighed and tossed the pillow back at me. I caught it easily, huffing as I did so.

"Fine." He muttered, walking away.

"Fine." I mumbled in return, lounging back again and placing the pillow back behind my head where it belonged as Mikah left the house.

"Damn, shorty." Emmett chuckled as the door closed behind Mikah, but I ignored him again.

"Harsh." Bella mumbled sleepily from the couch.

"He'll live." I grumbled in reply, crossing my ankles, "He doesn't even know what he's talking about, but wants me to listen anyway? Fat fucking chance." He'd pissed me off with that power trip bullshit. I'd been willing to talk, but he upped the tone.

I glanced over as Bella sighed heavily and moved to sit up. Edward, of course, helped her as her belly trapped her momentarily.

"Bathroom." She said in explanation with a small, tired laugh.

I looked to the TV again as Bella carefully wandered away toward the bathroom. Edward right beside her, probably in case something in the hallway tried to kill her.

"Oh, shorty." Emmett sighed, shaking his head.

"Don't start." I muttered.

"What?" He asked, "I'm not saying anything."

"Good." I replied, "Keep it that way."

"You're sure moody today." He pointed out, "Has it been a month already?"

"Huh?" I frowned, "A month since what?"

"Nothing." He chuckled, "You're not going to like me for that comment when you figure it out."

"No, really." I mumbled, sitting up, "What do you mean? A month since what?"

"Ask Esme." He laughed, standing up, "I don't wanna die, so I'm going to go talk to your boyfriend."

"He's _not_ my boyfriend." I snapped at his back, before I sighed and called, "Esme? Has it been a month?"

"Oh, dear." I heard her quiet reply from the kitchen. With a groan of annoyance, I peeled myself off the armrest and headed for the kitchen where she was preparing a light dinner.

"What does Emmett mean by that?" I had to ask, because I was really confused.

"Don't mind him, honey." She sighed, shaking her head, "I'm guessing it was meant to be a joke."

"Well, he needs to stop joking." I grumbled, sitting down. I sighed as well, keeping my eyes down.

"What is it?" She asked me, "Sweetie, I know it seems like Mikah was being harsh, but he cares about you as much as we all do."

"I know." I muttered, "And I don't like being mean to him, but he's wrong. That's not why I want this. Just because he thinks it is doesn't make him right. All he did by talking to me like that was make me mad."

"He can't help it." She replied, "He thinks you weren't listening. Can you blame him for coming to that conclusion?"

Hesitantly, I had to think about it. This whole time, I'd been pushing to try Jasper's idea. Despite how the others had been trying to talk me out of it, I went straight to Carlisle. The lengths Carlisle went to to give Jasper's idea a try was more than I should have asked for.

"It's a good idea." I reasoned quietly.

"No, honey." She murmured, "If you want my opinion, I don't think it's a good idea. I think you consider it a good idea because it's been the only idea."

"So?" I asked, "Just because it's the only idea doesn't mean it's not a good idea. It could work."

"It could also go very wrong." She replied, "You're willing to risk everything here for one slim chance? That tells me that we really need to rethink this whole thing, because it's too much responsibility for you."

"Not you too." I whined, shaking my head.

"Just give it some thought." She requested quietly, "That's all we're asking."

"Just.." I hesitated, "One more try. Just one more try. If that doesn't work, then I won't ask again. I just need to try again. Just once. _Please_."

She sighed, "Honey, I don't think you'd be satisfied with one more try."

"I will." I replied quietly, "I will. I promise. Just one more try."

"Let me talk to the others tonight." She finally said, "Depending on what they say-"

"They're just gonna say no." I argued instantly.

"I'll talk to them tonight after you go to bed." She repeated, her firmer tone putting an end to that arguing. I couldn't exactly keep arguing with her, so I fell quiet, aside from a very disappointed whine as I leaned forward and thumped my head on the counter.

To my surprise, it was Emmett tasked to watch me that night instead of Mikah for once. Usually if Esme wasn't there, it was Mikah. I couldn't exactly blame him for not wanting to be near me right then, but I was still surprised.

Emmett refused to let me try listening in to Esme's promised discussion, but I doubted I would be able to hear it anyway. So I slept. Bitterly, but I slept nonetheless. While I laid there, attempting to fall asleep, I did what I could to think rationally.

My gift, this ability was decision based, as Alice had put it in the beginning. This was a decision they had to make. Maybe I could try to know when they made said decision, instead of laying here pissed off?

I didn't know how to do that, though. I didn't know the first thing yet about trying to actually see something instead of fishing for a memory. Every time I'd 'see' something before, it just happened on its own. I had no control over it.

Well, I figured, might as well start somewhere.

So as I laid there, I focused what I could on the issue I was most concerned about. Focusing on the emotion I got from it. Of course, I was still frustrated that I probably wasn't going to get my way, but that was probably just me. When I was suddenly eased enough to fall asleep, it never registered to me to wonder why.

Even weirder, that feeling stayed passed when I woke up, well into breakfast. I stayed calmer than I had been before, as if I felt sure, but I was reluctant to accept that feeling of sure. I wanted to stay mad.

Once I'd eaten, however, I went into the living room to see Bella. Trying to distract myself, but she didn't seem too up to talking today. She was already laying down, versus her usual sitting-up self.

"Hey." I muttered, and she opened her eyes to look at me, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She replied, which was unlike her. I could easily see that something was bothering her, but she wasn't letting on.

"Really." I said, "What is it?"

"She's just tired today, Leandra." Edward answered for her, obviously concerned.

"Oh." I mumbled, sitting in the opposite chair, "I bet that liquid-diet-never-full thing isn't helping that any."

"Not really." Bella finally admitted. I could tell she'd be sticking to it, but today, she didn't seem to want any, given the untouched cup sitting on the table in front of her.

"It's not time yet." I replied, shaking my head, "It's still too early. You gotta hold out a little longer."

"I think it's making her mad." Bella replied quietly, gently placing her hand over the side of her belly. Watching her hand, moments later I saw a clear as day kick right toward her fingers, and a responding wince from Bella told me it wasn't an easy one.

"So talk to her." I said, "She can hear you." She still seemed skeptical so I sighed and kneeled beside the couch. Bella now seemed curious, but she moved her hand, giving me permission.

"Hey," I spoke right to her stomach, as weird as that was for me, "You in there." Another flinch from Bella, but far less intensely than the one before it. She laughed a little.

"You startled her." Bella explained.

I stifled my own laugh, but went on at her stomach, "Stop moving so much. I know it's pretty dark and confusing in there, and you probably have no idea what I'm saying yet, but you will. When you move, it hurts your mom. You don't want to hurt her, so if you have to move or kick or stretch, or whatever it is you're doing in there, do it slow."

It was silent for a moment, as if we were waiting for some kind of acknowledgement that I knew wouldn't come.

"Okay?" I spoke again, "Slow movements, and you'll get what you want soon." It completely floored me as I watched. Her stomach, underneath her shirt, a slow ripple moved across the surface from her side toward the front of her stomach. Bella seemed just as surprised, if not more as she looked at me. Definitely not in as much pain as she was before.

"Like that." I immediately said, "Good job. That's slow."

Unfortunately, just a second later, a rather abrupt lump indicated a rather hard kick in my direction. Even I winced at that one, but Bella's hand immediately covered the spot she'd been kicked and her eyes squeezed shut.

"Oops." I muttered, looking up at her, "Practice makes perfect? Maybe you've gotta do it, Bella. She must not like me very much." She seemed too breathless to reply right away, so I sighed and stood up.

Edward sighed, "Excuse me for a moment." I nodded a little as he smoothed Bella's cheek before turning for the stairs.

"Where's he going?" I wondered, sitting back down in my chair.

Having recovered, she took a breath, "Probably to go talk to Carlisle again. He's been doing that all night."

"All night?" I asked, "Haven't you slept?"

"Not much." She admitted, "It's a bit hard to sleep when the little person inside you isn't sleeping." I laughed a little at that one. I remembered that struggle perfectly.

"You're taking that a lot better than I did." I replied.

"Calm, remember?" She asked in response.

"Right." I muttered, remembering that bit of advice as well. She took another breath before looking at me.

"Can you help me?" She asked, and I looked over, "To sit up." I nodded, standing up again and taking her hand. She just needed something to pull against, so I braced myself against the floor. Nearly getting pulled over, but I managed to help her by pulling back myself.

Once she was up, she could move herself into a more comfortable position, so I wasn't needed anymore.

"Thanks." She sighed, and I nodded.

"No problem." I replied, sitting next to her now. I doubted I was very contagious anymore.

It was silent for a moment as she caught her breath, her hand on her stomach as if drawn to it. I had enough time to yawn and wonder where everyone else was before she spoke again.

"I know it's none of my business," She murmured, "But I overheard yesterday. About Mikah." I looked down, so she took that as a sign she should continue, "He's worried about you. They all are."

"I _know_." I replied quietly.

"Do you know why?"

"Because I want to help." I muttered.

"Haven't you helped enough?" She asked quietly, "I mean, really. You're eleven. How much of the world has to land on your shoulders?"

"It's my fault they're in this mess." I replied, glancing over at her, "If it weren't for me, they wouldn't even know Jack's name. So I have to fix it." There it was. The reason I couldn't find the words for just the day before.

"I really don't think that's true." She mumbled, readjusting how she sat on the couch. Facing me a bit more.

"I do." I sighed, "They've already done too much for me. I just really think it's about time I start trying to give something back. Especially for how I've acted, and how I've treated them. Why wouldn't I do everything I could to make things easier on them? I know getting rid of Jack would make things a ton easier on them."

"Leandra," She sighed this time, "I think you're looking at this all wrong. I get wanting to help, but putting all this responsibility on yourself isn't the way to do that. I think all they want is for you to be happy. I don't think I've ever seen you happy."

I looked down, "I've been happy."

"Do you even know what being happy means?" She asked hesitantly, and I stayed quiet. I had to really think about it. When I didn't reply right away, she spoke again, "Being happy means being content. Comfortable with yourself and where you are. Being happy means you don't have to work to put a smile on your face. Know what I mean? It just happens."

"I know." I muttered, but I didn't offer anything else.

"Every time I've seen you," She went on, "There's always this look there. In your eyes and on your face that makes me feel like you expect the world to end at any second, or worse yet, that it already has ended for you. I know you never notice it, either, because it never changes. Being happy isn't something you do. It's something someone just is, and it's something you definitely are not.

"That's all they want to change. They're not expecting you to fix anything or make their lives easier. They want to make your life easier. Do you get the difference? They can't bear the thought that your world has already ended, because even.. Thinking about all the ways that that's true hurts them so much, and seeing you running around with the notion that you somehow owe them anything, much less that you owe them more than they owe you just makes that harder."

I didn't bother replying this time. I could see that she was right, but how was I supposed to be happy when I was the reason they were miserable?

"Sorry." She mumbled when I didn't reply, "Did I say too much?"

"No." I finally said, "No, it wasn't you." It really was something that I needed to hear. I was glad she told me these things, because it wasn't something I was understanding on my own.

"It's not your job to fix anything, Leandra." She added quietly, "It never has been. That's not how this works."

"But then.." I frowned, "How am I supposed to repay them for everything they've done for me?"

"That's just it." She said, "Repaying them for everything they've done for you isn't something you do. Remember? It's something you grow to be."

Before I could stop myself, I stood up. Realizing how rude that was, I had to say something.

"I'm just.." I sighed, "I'll be outside." It was hard to hear. Hard for me to comprehend the things she was saying, despite knowing that every word was true. I turned for the door right as Edward returned from upstairs.

I just couldn't understand it. If that wasn't how this works, then how is this supposed to work? I didn't get it. There was a lot I didn't get, and as confusing as that was, it was even more frustrating.

Outside, I spotted Cole immediately by the trees. Mikah beside him, looking back at my arrival. Seeing them, their expressions telling me that they'd both heard our discussion inside, I didn't know how to feel. An infuriating mixture of embarrassment and sadness made keeping my tears back difficult, but anger had to make an appearance first.

"You're not supposed to be here!" I shouted louder than I meant to in Cole's direction, "You're ruining everything!" Hesitantly, both he and Mikah glanced to each other, and Mikah gave him a small nod before turning and starting toward me.

"Princess." He seemed concerned, ascending the steps to stand with me.

"If he's here, Jack's going to know!" I argued immediately, "He's supposed to stay away!"

"Easy." He murmured, kneeling in front of me.

"No." I insisted, "I won't 'easy'. I'm tired of nothing I ever try helping anything!"

"Sometimes that's just how things go." He replied, "It's nothing you're doing wrong, princess. Sometimes things just don't go the way you want them to."

"Don't tell me that."

"Would you rather I lied to you?" He asked, "It's the truth. What's bothering you so much about this? How long are you wanting to keep this up?" Briefly, I was distracted by glancing over at the others now on the porch with us. I didn't really like that since I knew they were all wondering the same thing.

Alice and Jasper, even Jasper having concern. As if he finally fully realized what he'd done by suggesting this. Esme, of course, and Emmett with Rosalie beside him. Edward hung back by the door, probably listening for Bella, and Carlisle closest to us.

Mikah spoke again, bringing my attention back to him, "How long are you going to fight for this?"

"As long as it takes." I argued, "I can't just stop."

He sighed, "I know how much you think this will help, but I have to say. I have my doubts."

"Again?" I grumbled.

"Please just hear me out." He said, catching my hand as I moved to turn away, but he hesitated. Obviously searching for the right words to say. He finally spoke again, "Princess.. Why are you pushing this so much? I know you say you want to help, but.. Really. What's the reason?"

I stayed quiet now, unsure as I looked down. He was so certain that I had another reason behind doing this, and I knew that he wasn't the only one. That made me wonder myself.

He spoke quietly now, "Let it go, Leandra." I looked up, still unsure what he meant, so he went on, "Let it go. I know it feels like this is the only way you can move on, but you're wrong. God knows you deserve every bit of closure you can get, but this isn't the way to get it. Giving so much for something that isn't even guaranteed isn't the way to get it."

I looked back down.

"You can't let something like this control you." He went on, "I know. The very thought of revenge is something powerful, but you can't let it take over. You're far too good for that. Okay?"

Was he right? Of course, I felt more of the other reason, wanting to somehow repay them, but.. Was this part of it? What was keeping me so adamant about this?

"That was all I was trying to say yesterday." He went on in my silence, "I might have said it a little wrong." I nodded a little, letting him know I heard him, but I wasn't quite up to replying yet. He sighed, "Leandra.. Just.. I know how bad it's going to bother you to, but just for right now, let it go. Despite everything that's happened to you recently, you're pursuing this with a vengeance we've not seen in you yet. I don't like what it's doing to you. Nobody does, but just for now. Please. _Please_. Let go of that hate. You're too beautiful of a person to hate like this."

I hated the way he spoke now. He didn't know what he was asking of me, but I also knew he wouldn't be asking it of me if he didn't need this from me.

Instead of replying, I hugged him. Thankfully, I wasn't crying this time, but that didn't lessen the comfort I got from his returned hug.

There was an obvious reason why he was probably the best friend I'd ever had. Multiple obvious reasons. He heard the things I didn't even know I wanted to say. He knew my emotions better than Jasper did, he read my thoughts better than Edward. He said the things that needed to be said. He told me things I needed to hear. He didn't beat around the bush. He said it like it was.

"I'm sorry." I finally mumbled, "For yelling at you yesterday."

"It's okay, princess." He replied easily, "I know why you did."

He seemed to be getting better at hugging me, and despite knowing I shouldn't do it, I couldn't help it. Hugging him, most of the time, seemed to be the only way I could express to him just how much he meant to me. Besides my family, he was one of the most important people in my life. I didn't know what I'd do without him.

Of course that feeling had only gotten stronger the second I remembered everything I knew about him in the vision. I tried not to think about the most recent events regarding him, but they did influence me now.

"Mikah?" I opened my eyes at Edward's voice by the door, "A word?"

Hesitantly, Mikah finally let go and leaned back to look at me, giving my hands a supportive squeeze as he did so.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, and I nodded. He smiled a little, "I'll be right back." I nodded again with a small sniffle. Edward didn't sound too upset, so I wasn't worried as Mikah stood up. I looked over, watching as Edward led Mikah off the porch.

Until Esme took Mikah's previous spot, hugging me tightly. I couldn't help returning it, and for the oddest reasons, I felt like I needed apologize to her.

Truthfully, I hadn't thought about what my pursuing this was doing to them. Mikah had just made me see that.

"Okay." I mumbled, holding onto her, "I won't ask anymore." She sighed, smoothing my hair down my back lightly.

"I'm sorry, honey." She apologized first, to my surprise.

"I'm sorry." I told her in return.

I looked back over as I pulled back, spotting Mikah and Edward talking out in the yard. Whatever Edward was telling Mikah was obviously amusing to him, given the smile on his face. I watched long enough to see Mikah laugh and respond before Esme took my hand as she stood up.

"Let's go inside." She offered, "Let them talk." I hesitated.

"I have to talk to Cole." I muttered, "I sort of yelled at him." Though I had no doubts that they heard every word.

"He understands." She assured me, "He knows this is a tough time for you."

"I hope you're right." I sighed, but followed willingly now.

It took a little while long for Mikah and Edward to come inside, and Mikah was still just as relaxed as he had been when he and Edward first stepped away. I was in the middle of trying to talk Emmett out of watching a specific movie when they came back in.

"You probably shouldn't." I told Emmett, "If you haven't seen it before, how about you wait until I'm not in the room?"

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Bella asked, obviously interested herself.

"It's probably just some monster movie." Emmett reasoned, "You've watched those with me before." The description on the movie was rather vague.

The discussion paused as Mikah and Edward walked in.

"I'm telling you," Mikah was saying, "It's not a big deal, and nothing I didn't already know. I can handle it." Though I was curious, Emmett playing the movie anyway took my attention instead.

I was able to make it about twenty minutes into the movie without having to look away, and the first time I did, Emmett did it for me. Even that was nowhere near as bad as what happened just a little while later. It was becoming a typical gory movie, but it wasn't too bad yet.

Emmett was watching both me and the movie at the same time, probably to gauge my reaction in case it became too much. A few of the worse deaths that happened to the group, I laughed a little while looking away, but it slowly started to get worse.

"They're gonna let him go, right?" I wondered, half hoping. Seconds later, it clearly became clear that that was definitely not the case. I thought I could handle the gore, but I quickly found my limit when the poor guy's head was getting ripped off while he was still half alive, sitting upright while gagging uncontrollably.

"Whoa!" Bella even wanted to put an end to it.

"Okay." Emmett laughed, quickly turning it off, "There's the rating."

I was already sprinting for the bathroom, one hand over my mouth. It wasn't exactly fear that made me run for the toilet, but how gross it was. My stomach turned almost too fast for me to catch, and I was having a hard time trying to decide if I wanted to throw up or cry.

I could just hear Emmett's continued laughter up the hall while I waited for my stomach to calm down.

"You okay, shorty?" He called through his laughter.

"No." I sobbed, "You're fired from movie picking." I knew I'd be alright, though. I just needed time to calm down. I was actually surprised Bella wasn't throwing up right along with me. Her stomach wasn't known for being strong these days.

I stepped out in time to hear Esme yelling at Emmett for showing me that movie.

"I didn't know that was in there." Emmett was still amused, "I've never seen it before."

"Then you watch it first." She snapped in reply, "I'm very disappointed in you."

"It wasn't his fault." I said as I came back into the room, "If that wasn't in there, I would have been fine. I didn't actually throw up and I only cried a little bit, so I'm okay."

After a lot of arguing back and forth, I had to point it out.

"Wait," I said, looking to Emmett, "Didn't I fire you from picking the movie before when you made me watch that movie in New York?"

"Not officially." Emmett replied, "But I also had a reason back then."

"There's no reason in the world good enough to show me that crap." I grumbled, sitting back down next to him.

"I remember that." Mikah piped up, "I still have to agree with him on that one."

"I know, I know." I rolled my eyes, "That stuff happens, but it was still fucked up." I leaned over, whacking Emmett as hard as I could with a pillow, "You're double fired."

"I agree." Bella muttered, "That was absolutely horrifying."

I sat there that night, trying to force myself to have enough of a appetite to eat. It wasn't only the movie that had taken it.

"Aren't you hungry?" Esme asked.

"I'm just trying to figure something out." I mumbled, looking up, "If I have to let this whole thing with Jack go, how will we ever find my mom?"

She sighed, "It's complicated."

"How complicated?" I asked, suddenly more emotional than I thought I was, "It's not fair. She was doing good. Now she's gone, and it's like it never even mattered. Yeah, I hated her, but.. I don't even know." I looked back down, shaking my head, "I feel like I owe her more than just letting him get away with it. I'm tired of just letting him get away with it. I'm tired of it."

"I promise," She murmured, "He won't get away with it."

"I just feel like.." I went on, "Like.. I've made nothing but wrong choices."

"What do you mean?" She asked, concerned.

"I keep thinking about what things would have been like if I'd done things different." I replied, keeping my eyes down on my plate as I scooted food around, "Like.. If I'd never gone to school that day. If I'd just done what Jack told me to, or if I'd just stayed here when Alice brought me back. What could have happened if I'd just done things right? If I'd just stayed here, then my mom could have gotten better on her own. Jack never would have gone to find her, and everything would be different, but because I didn't, look at where it's gotten everyone. It might not be _all_ my fault, but I do have part of the blame."

"No, honey." She replied.

"I just wanted a chance to fix it." I admitted, "I might not be able to fix what's already happened, but.. I just wanted a chance."

I was in bed early that night, and I found out early the following morning exactly why I was so moody, as Emmett had put it. Apparently, this stupid period could make me mean or depressed. That hadn't happened the first time I got it, so when Esme explained that to me, Emmett's comment made a whole lot of sense. I wasn't mad at him like he thought I'd be. I was just glad I understood now.

It had been a little over a month, but I also learned that it'd take time before the stupid thing would come around the same time every month. That irritated me. If this was going to happen to me _every_ month from now until the day I died, I would rather know when it was coming.

It didn't really surprise me to find Mikah outside, so I chose to sit in the kitchen with Esme, since Bella had chosen to sleep on the couch the night before. It was quiet this morning while daylight slowly lightened the house.

"How is she doing?" I asked, my focus on Bella in the other room, "Any better?"

"About the same, I'm afraid." Esme replied, "She tried a little more of the broth last night, but that didn't seem to stay." I winced a little.

"It's still too early." I muttered. I frowned, "And wasn't Tanya supposed to show up? They're missing their chance to see Bella before the baby's born."

"They're hesitant." She admitted, "It's understandable, sweetie." I sighed.

"I just want everything to go okay." I replied, "They need to see her before the baby's born so it's easier for them to believe that the baby is half human. It's not like we can just take Bella to them."

"They'll be here." She assured me, "They know how important it is."

"I hope so." I mumbled, looking down at my cereal bowl, "I _really_ hope so. I'm trying really hard to just believe that everything's going to be okay, but I'm so afraid to, because no matter how hard I try, I keep thinking about what happened last time. I know it's stupid to do that, but it's stuck there."

"I know, sweetie." She sighed sadly, "Believe me. I can't imagine how hard that is on you."

"What if.." I had to ask, "What if things still turn out the same way? I mean, Bella did. Why can't everything else? All this stuff with Jack just makes me wonder what he knows. I mean, he never used to care before that Heather would come over. At least not enough to make him tell me he cared. Now he does? Why does he care now?"

She was silent, so I went on.

"And if he cares now, what else does he know?" I asked quietly, "There's so much, but I can't ask him, because he won't show up. I think that's partly why I'm stuck on wanting to keep trying. What if.. What if whatever he knows could help us in some way?"

"You're overthinking." I glanced over at Edward's arrival.

"What else is new?" I asked, looking back down.

"Do you remember what I said about obsessing?" He asked with a sigh.

"I know." I grumbled, "But it's different this time, and if I'm obsessing, then I'll just have to obsess because if there's _any_ thing I can do to keep what happened from happening, I'll do it. No matter what it is, I'll do it."

"And that," He murmured, "Is what worries me. Have you already forgotten what that mentality got you into last time?" I blinked in surprise. Of course he was right. I wasn't even thinking to compare the two situations, but he was right. He spoke again, "That could very well be the reason why you're convinced things haven't changed. Because you refuse to change your way of thinking."

"Wouldn't you?" I asked eventually, "Wouldn't you do everything you could to keep that from happening? Bella means more to you than anyone else in the world. What would you do if you somehow knew she was going to die one day? Wouldn't you do all you could to figure out a way to keep that from happening?"

"Of course I would." He replied quietly.

"Then why are you telling me that I'm not allowed to do the same for Carlisle?" I asked, "Or anyone else?"

"Because I also know what position that put you in." He countered.

"It sucked, sure, but I did all that for a good reason." I muttered, "I'd do it again if I had to. I'd always do it, because I _can't_ let that happen."

"It's not going to-"

"But if it was." I cut him off, "If it was going to happen, and I knew it was going to happen, I'd do whatever I could do to keep it from happening. Even if that means going with Aro one day. I would."

I knew by the way he looked at me that he knew I was serious. Completely serious.

"If that's what it took to keep Aro happy, I'd do it." I sighed, looking back down.

"It's not your job to keep Aro happy, Leandra." He obviously didn't like the direction this conversation had gone.

"But if it ever became my job to keep him happy, I would." I insisted, "That's what I'm telling you. If it's me he wants, I know how hard he'll try to get whatever he wants. I already said that I don't care what happens to me. I meant that. I still mean that. If it means everyone else is okay, I would do anything I had to do to keep it that way."

He was silent for a moment.

"We're not just talking about Aro anymore, are we?" He asked, and I kept my eyes down. I didn't know how to reply to that. I knew exactly what he meant, but I couldn't deny it. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't deny that I'd been referring to Jack as well in that last statement.

I took a breath, more than willing to change the subject.

"Where's Jacob?" I asked, "He was here all the time last time."

"He comes and goes." Edward answered, allowing the subject change, "He keeps in regular contact with Sam."

"Oh." I mumbled, looking over again toward the living room. I spotted Carlisle checking on Bella, and the way he shook his head worried me.

"Carlisle." Edward took his attention quietly. I watched as Carlisle approached with a heavy sigh.

"She's getting weaker." He filled me in, "And only getting worse by the hour." I shook my head this time.

"It's too soon." I frowned, "We have to wait."

"What I'm concerned about," Carlisle replied, "Is the possibility that her body won't be able to hold out as long as yours did." Oh. I hadn't thought about that, "The blood won't do much for her if she's not able to drink it."

I took a breath, frowning in thought.

"What _I'm_ worried about is the baby getting too strong for her to handle anymore." I finally replied, "Once she has that blood, she won't lose it. Know what I mean? She's already getting beaten up as it is. I _don't_ think we should make that worse until we have to. She won't say anything, but that fucking hurts, and my baby was careful. Either that, or he was more human than vampire, and I could deal with it better, but it still hurts."

"I understand your concern, Leandra." He murmured once I was done speaking, "But I really think that it can't wait much longer. Her pulse is already too weak for my liking. If her heart stops-"

I winced, "I know." I sighed, looking toward the living room again before looking over at Edward this time, "You think so too?"

"I can't help agreeing with Carlisle this time." He replied quietly, and I sighed so he spoke again, "I managed to hear her last night."

"The baby?" I had to smile a little and he gave a nod.

"It wasn't difficult to understand what she wanted." He explained, "As much as I value your opinion, I also have to take her suffering into consideration." I understood that too. The baby's suffering led directly to Bella's suffering. Giving the baby what she needed helped Bella as well, but there was still that risk.

I sighed, looking toward the living room again. Bella hadn't moved.

I finally took a breath, "Try giving her a little bit. Just a little bit at a time. That might help. If you have to give her some, it's better to give her as little as you can."

Edward had already turned, leaving the room. I was surprised he waited that long.

"Remember the cup." I called after him, and I vaguely saw him nod, "And make sure Mikah stays outside." That obviously went without saying.

Carlisle followed him from the room and I sighed as I stood up.

"Well.." I muttered, "This will be a good way to tell if this baby's the same as I remember."

"What do you mean?" Esme asked.

"For me, blood didn't work." I replied, "He.. I guess he was confused, because I was sick. Sicker than she is, but we tried the blood, and that didn't work. So I had to try eating normal food again, and he liked that better. If it's the same as I remember for her, she will let her keep it down, but I think every baby is different. I guess we'll find out."

I looked over as Edward descended the stairs again just as we entered the room, coming to my side. Carlisle was in the middle of helping Bella sit upright, and I could see what had him so worried. I was a little less against this when she glanced to me.

I looked around, "Where is everyone else?"

"Out hunting." Edward answered, focusing on the thick cup in his hand, "They'll be back tonight."

That made sense. It certainly explained why it was so quiet this morning. I moved back a few steps as Edward needed to get closer. I didn't want to be in the way.

"I know how gross this might be to you." Edward smiled a little at her, and though she tried to return it, it wasn't really convincing.

"It's okay." She replied quietly, "I've been preparing for this since it was first brought up. I can do it." I sighed as Esme's hand found my shoulder, and I leaned against her side.

"Any specific rules about this?" Bella asked me as she took the cup carefully in her hand.

"Just.." I shrugged a little, "Drink it. You'll know if it's going to work or not. I'd try small drinks at first, in case she's confused about what you're giving her." She nodded, taking a breath and looking at the straw almost nervously.

Moment of truth. As much as I wanted to gag, I watched as she took a slow but steady draw from the straw. Holding my breath as she swallowed that small sip.

She let that settle for a second, before she looked to me. Surprised. I knew she felt it settle the way it never did for me.

"Yup." I said, and I knew by the way she took another drink that it was going to work. Edward, clearly relieved, looked to me. I smiled a little, but that smile was a sad one. I knew what giving the baby blood meant. I'd only had a little bit, and I remembered exactly how tired I got, but I also recalled how much it helped Bella.

"Watch her close from now on." I said, gaining Carlisle's attention as well, "It's going to go fast, and if you still want to take the baby out early, you have to do it right when she's ready or you'll miss your chance, and that's important not to miss, because remember what I said about the teeth."

Bella glanced to me, and for a moment, I worried about upsetting her, but she just shook her head this time. I highly doubted the baby would let her throw up if she tried.

"I thought you said the baby cared about her?" Esme asked, obviously not liking that mention.

"She does." I replied, "But being born is an instinct for her. She's going to get out the only way she knows how. As soon as Bella gives the signs, that tells her that it's time. It wouldn't be the baby's fault. None of this is. She just doesn't know any better yet."

"Oh, gross." I looked over at Jacob's suddenly revolted tone in the doorway, "You know, a little bit of warning would have been nice."

"Why?" I asked, "You're the one that walked in."

"Next time, I'll knock." He muttered, shaking his head. He came in anyway, coming to stand next to me. Crossing his arms and watching Bella with a sigh. She had to have been almost out of blood in the cup by now.

He looked down at me, "What's up, whiskey?"

I knew full well what he was referring to, but given Edward's look his way, I knew I should probably ignore it. He was either really cocky, or really stupid. Either way, I pitied him. Esme was probably the only one confused.

"Just that." I replied, nodding lightly toward Bella. With a glance toward Edward, I reminded him with my thoughts that I'd been called far worse things in my life, and it didn't do anybody any good to get offended over something as stupid as what Jacob said.

Shaking his head, Edward seemed to drop it for now.

Sure enough, Bella stopped drinking for a deep breath, and I didn't miss the way her hand went to her stomach. Just to rest there, and I gathered that the baby was moving now.

"How do you feel?" Esme asked, and she looked up.

"Getting better." She replied, but as amazed as she was, it also seemed to confuse her. Despite it being obvious the reason why, it still confused her how easily it was to fix. She started again on the straw, probably to finish whatever was in the cup. I had a sinking suspicion that Edward had given her more than I suggested, but I couldn't really blame him.

"That's human blood?" Jacob asked.

"Donated." Carlisle immediately replied.

"Yeah," He said, "But you're giving that thing a taste for human blood." I glanced over at Jacob, and I couldn't help saying something.

"I don't really think she can _taste_ it." I frowned a little, "But I could be wrong. I don't really know how those things work." Bella laughed a little around her straw, amused for the first time in days.

Jacob gave me a look, "You know what I mean."

"When the baby's born," I replied, "And when she's big enough, she'll be taught to hunt animals. She learns fast."

He sighed, "I really don't know."

"They're stronger than her." I pointed out, "She's like.. Six pounds? Maybe seven? I don't remember. Hell, I could pick her up and throw her. Not very far, and it wouldn't hurt her, but I could. I don't think they'll have a hard time keeping her under control."

"They better." Jacob replied, shaking his head.

"She'll just be a baby." I assured him, "You'll see."

"That's what worries me." Edward grumbled, and I laughed a little over at him.

"Does he know?" I asked, and immediately, Edward shook his head.

"I haven't mentioned that little detail yet." He replied, a subtle hint of bitterness in his tone.

"Just remember." I said, "It's nothing like that. I've seen it."

"I'm keeping that in mind." Edward nodded, "That's why he's allowed in here at all."

"Should I know what you're talking about?" Jacob asked, suspicious now.

"No." I replied, "Not until you find out."

"See," He sighed, looking down at me, "I don't think surprises are a good thing when it comes to this."

"It's not a bad thing." I said, "Just wait."

"Can somebody remind me why I'm listening to the five-year-old?" He looked around. I gave him a look, moving away from his side to stand on Esme's other side. I was about done with his snide attitude.

"Because she knows what she's talking about." Edward defended me, "If it bothers you to listen to what she has to say, then there's the door." Jacob smirked, "And if you ever call her by that name again, I'll show you the door myself, and I promise you that it'll be very unpleasant."

"It's okay, Edward." I muttered, appreciating Esme's light squeeze of my shoulder, "It's not his fault. He's just cranky because he has fleas."

"Ha." Jacob rolled his eyes, "How original."

I countered, "It's not my fault you've heard the truth before."

"Jake." Bella spoke up before Jacob could reply, "Be nice to her, please. You have no idea how much she's helped me."

I looked down, feeling bad despite knowing it wasn't my fault, but she certainly seemed to be feeling better. Her voice, though still quiet, seemed a little clearer to me. She still seemed tired, but more alert than she was before. I knew it'd probably take at least a few minutes before she was feeling stronger, but already, it was working.

It also made me nervous to think that in just a few days time, Ness would be born. It'd be dangerous to let her stay in there for much longer, and despite the fact that it had yet to be a full month since the wedding, it had to be sooner rather than later.

I worried about what seeing Ness in person again would do. Especially since..

"You need to get Tanya here." I muttered, looking up at Esme, "There isn't much time left."

"They'll be here." She assured me again.

"You're bringing _more_ of them here?" Jacob asked, "Do you have any idea-"

"Shut up." I snapped lightly at him, "Nobody cares."

"Let me call the others." Carlisle finally spoke up, "On their way back, they can stop and check in with them there." I nodded, taking a breath. That was acceptable.

"Why not just call _them_?" Jacob suggested, "Why the middle man?"

" _Because_ ," I rolled my eyes this time, "If the others are already out, it'll be easier to get them to agree to just follow them back instead. _Duh_."

"You're not very fun to be around, are you?" Jacob asked, frowning down at me.

"What are you talking about?" I replied, "I'm tons of fun. I'm amazing."

"How can you possibly blame her for not appreciating your presence after the way you treated her the first time she met you?" Edward asked, "I certainly can't."

"Oh, come on." Jacob muttered, "I was joking."

"Leave me out of those stupid jokes." I muttered.

"Well," Jacob grumbled, "It's been nice getting ganged up on. I'll be back later, Bells." He turned with that, shaking his head.

Bella sighed, "See you later, Jake."

"Edward." Esme sighed as well once Jacob had left, "You know we need his cooperation."

"I don't like the way he treats her." He replied, "Or the things he thinks about her. She's had enough bullies in her life, I think. I refuse to let it happen here."

"I don't really care." I mumbled, "It's okay. Besides. Emmett picks on me all the time."

"This isn't the same." Edward countered, "And you know it." I did know it, but I just shrugged. As much as I didn't want to be the reason Jacob hated us, I was sure glad I wasn't the only one on my side. I could play it down all I wanted, but I couldn't actually deny that it bothered me. Especially to Edward.

Esme sighed again, smoothing my hair but she didn't argue again. It bothered her too. Jacob's cooperation was needed, even though not one wolf would get through the wall of covens outside somewhere. If it came down to it, we'd be _well_ protected, but I didn't want it to come down to that. Nobody did.

Out of everything in the world, Carlisle just wanted to live in peace. There wasn't much peace to be found when you beat up your neighbors. Even if they would be the ones to start it.

"I'm gonna go finish breakfast." I muttered, turning and heading back for the kitchen.

The second I turned, though, I stopped mid step. My heart dropping into my toes as I bounced that step backwards, right into Esme. Confused, she looked down at me as if she had no idea Jack was standing right there across the room until she looked over.

She noticed him there at the same time both Carlisle and Edward did, moving me behind her.

"I wouldn't, if I were you." Jack's voice ceased all movement, making everything suddenly so still, "Really."

 **A/N: This one was a bit difficult. I'm not sure why, but I'm okay with the way it came out. :) I'm sorry this chapter took so long. I've actually been sick lol with a pretty decent head and chest cold that's taking forever to go away. I've had this over a week now, and have yet to take a decent breath in all that time. There aren't a whole lot of options out there for cold medicine that someone in my "condition" can safely take, so I guess that's what I get for making Leandra get sick. Oh, the irony.  
THANK YOU! To those AMAZING reviewers! You know who you are! :D And you're AWESOME! AWESOMELY AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!  
Thirteen, as you can probably guess, has a few interesting things in it. I realize twelve wasn't the most exciting chapter, so I think I made up for it with thirteen. That shouldn't take very long to come out. :)  
By the way. Happy New Year to all my friends/readers! Here's to hoping 2016 is at least a little better than shitty 2015!  
Until Thirteen, my friends!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

I couldn't breathe. I'd never imagined Jack would be this brave, but if he was this brave, there was a reason he was this brave.

"That's better." Jack chuckled, "Surprise."

"What do you want?" Edward was far from pleased.

"Who is that?" Bella asked, but my reaction should have told her. I couldn't help knowing full well how selfish I was being, hiding directly behind Esme.

"She doesn't know who I am?" Jack asked, "Well, damn. What else haven't you told her?"

"That's Jack." I whimpered, glancing over at her. At that, she struggled to get up, but Edward's hand kept her seated.

Jack laughed again, "That's the reaction I was looking for, but please. Don't get up on my account. I'm not staying long." I must have been in some strange sort of denial up until then, because my heart dropped again. The situation was just too huge to get passed it in one smooth movement. There could be _stages_?

Jack. Was right there. This was somehow way worse than if he'd just come to see me alone. I didn't care so much about that, but now? This couldn't be happening.

"You never answered me." Edward growled, obviously wanting to keep my currently freaking out thoughts between him and I.

"I don't fucking have to, you little shit." Jack growled in return, obviously not liking his tone. He spoke again, much sharper, "You. Out of the way." I knew then he was talking to Esme.

"Not a chance." Esme replied quietly, confirming my thought.

"I said move, bitch." Jack snapped.

"I heard you." She replied before anyone else could get upset, "And I believe I said no."

 _How_ could she be so calm? It's like she wasn't worried at all. Her hands behind her held mine in return, and I felt like I still couldn't breathe. I was still trying to process the situation. How was Jack still standing there without _some_ one going for him? I understood that it was just the three of them in here at the moment, but three against one would have been easy.

His sigh was one of thinning patience, and it worried me enough to move in instinct. I couldn't get one step away from Esme before she caught my arm. Jack could see me, though, and that was all he wanted. He smiled, his arms crossed firmly over his chest.

"There you are." He smirked, his eyes locked on me now.

Carlisle moved over as well, sort of trapping me between them. Now situated between Edward and me, but a step ahead of us.

"I'm not scared." I told Esme quietly, despite being the opposite, "It's okay."

Looking to Jack, though, told me all I needed to know about why he was still standing there. He wasn't alone. Just two others stood with him. Behind him, oddly enough. Both of them males, one about the same build as Jack, the other just slightly smaller. The lighter brown haired one on the left looked like he was more than happy to be there, while the darker haired one on the right looked more bored, if not unhappy about being there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him quietly when I could find my voice, "I've done everything you told me to do."

"It's been awhile, bitch." Jack replied, "Maybe I just wanted to see you." I looked down, shaking my head.

"Can I ask you something?" I muttered, "Just one straight answer."

"I don't think so." He chuckled.

"Where's mom?" I asked it anyway, and the crease in his brow told me he was confused.

"I don't fucking know." He replied, "Why are you asking me?"

"You don't know?" I frowned, "So.. You don't have her?"

"What the fuck would I want that bitch for?" He asked in return, "I have no use for her."

"Then where is she?"

"How the fuck would I know?" He snapped, "Last I saw her, she was in Sequim with that dickhead she was dating from work."

"Nobody can find her." I told him, "She dropped Hunter off with Heather a few weeks ago."

He snorted, "Well, good riddance, then. I'd rather my sister raise him than that bitch. What do you fucking care, anyway? I thought you hated her?"

"I do." I muttered, "I just thought you had her. She's better off dead than with you."

"True." He smirked again, obviously accepting that as a compliment.

"So.." I said, "If that's not why you're here, then why are you here?"

"To prove he can be." Edward answered for him, gaining his attention.

"Did anyone fucking ask you?" Jack snapped at him, "Shut the fuck up."

"Just state your business here." Carlisle finally murmured, "So you can leave."

"Don't you fucking start." Jack turned his attention to Carlisle now, "You really don't want to push me. My biggest problem is with you, and I'm _trying_ not to kill anyone yet."

"Don't talk to him like that." I spoke up again, and despite Esme's attempts to hold me there, I stepped forward.

That actually amused him, "Growing a backbone, are we?"

"It's alright, Leandra." Carlisle said, "I'm not intimidated by someone like him."

"Oh, but you should be." Jack found that more amusing, "Where's the rest of your coven, Carlisle? Do you know where they are? Because I do."

I didn't like that one bit, looking up at Carlisle, worried.

"Don't fucking piss me off." Jack went on, "Because they could all be taken out like _that_." I flinched at the sharp snap of his fingers, "I haven't bothered them yet. They're fine for now, but should I give the word.."

"Stop it." I spoke up, "You're lying."

"Am I?" He countered sharply, "Do you really want to test that?"

"He's not bluffing." Edward grumbled, "He knows."

"You." He turned his eyes to Edward, "Shut up." Why would he tell him to shut up if he was just confirming what he said? I didn't see the reason, but I didn't miss the way Edward tensed and soon noticed why. Jack was now looking at Bella again.

"Jack." I mumbled, taking his attention once more, "If it's me you're here to see, then get to it." He took a breath, and for a moment, I worried I'd pissed him off, but he just waved me forward.

"Come here." He told me, and I looked down as Esme tensed. Holding me tighter. I never failed to fear those words, and now was no different. I really didn't want to, but with the situation as tense as it was, I knew I had to.

Reaching over, I carefully tried to pry Esme's hand loose.

"It's okay." I mumbled, and she continued to hold, "Esme.." Obviously hating to do so, she sighed and loosened her hold.

"Would you relax?" Jack barked, "For fuck's sake. You act like I'm going to kill her the second she leaves your side."

"How do we know you won't?" She demanded.

"You'll just have to trust me." He grinned, "Or ask your fucking mind-reader over there." He paused, looking to Edward, "Do I have any plan to hurt the stupid bitch?" I wasn't surprised in the least that he knew what Edward's ability was, but it explained his annoyance with him from the start.

"Not that I can see." Edward grumbled, obviously not trusting it.

"So _relax_." He went on, "Because either way, she's not stupid enough to ignore me when I tell her to get her ass over here. She knows what'll happen. Don't you, bitch?"

My arm finally slipped loose, and I was able to move away from her. As much as I wanted to stay, he was right. My first steps forward were slow, but as I eventually came to stand in front of him, I didn't know what to do.

"See," Jack spoke up, "That was a test, and you passed. Good job, bitch. You _finally_ made the right choice." He hesitated, "But.. It was also pretty fucking dumb."

"Huh?" I asked. What the hell did he mean by that? Knowing him, I automatically tried to prepare for anything.

"You know full fucking well that the reason they're still alive is because you were standing there." He explained, "Now what? You're over here, they're over there, wide the fuck open."

Behind me, I glanced back as Carlisle moved to step forward, but Edward stopped him. Causing the one to Jack's left to tense.

"B-But you said-"

"Use your damn head." He snapped, and I couldn't help flinching, "I'm not saying I'm going to do anything yet, but if I _were_ , you'd have just fucked them over. Nice." He fell silent, frowning as all hint of amusement faded. He studied me as if he were puzzled, "You smell different."

"Different?" I frowned as well.

"Your blood, stupid." He clarified, "What's wrong with you?"

I didn't have the slightest clue, so I really didn't know how to answer him. He just frowned deeper, leaning closer and breathing in. I wasn't exactly comfortable with him sniffing me, but I knew better than to move.

"What the fuck is that?" He didn't act like it was unpleasant, but it clearly confused him, which he obviously didn't appreciate.

"I-I don't-"

"You." He barked toward Carlisle, "What's wrong with her?"

"There's nothing wrong with her." Was Carlisle's even reply.

"She didn't fucking smell like this last time." Jack countered, "Why's it different now?" Curious, the one to Jack's right stepped forward and smelled me as well. I took a hesitant half step back, away from him. Him I could move away from.

"Oh." The stranger chuckled, understanding, "You've never smelled that before?"

"Obviously fucking not." Jack snapped, "What is it?"

"She's on her period." The stranger answered, stepping back again, "They always smell a little different when that happens."

"When the fuck did that happen?" Jack rounded on me now, surprised.

"August." I mumbled, very intimidated.

"Well, shit." He laughed a little, "You're growing up, I guess." It must not have been that noticeable if he couldn't smell it until I was right there in front of him.

"I'd say so." The one to his left finally spoke, a small laugh in his tone, "She's gonna be a looker when she grows up, Jack."

"Watch it, fucker." Surprisingly, Jack snapped at him, but he just laughed again. Nervously, I looked back at Esme and Carlisle, both of them listening close. Jack spoke again at him, "Go.. Look over there or something. Shit."

I looked back once more, though, as I clearly heard Bella gasp quietly, and one look at her face told me she was in pain. I knew exactly why. Without hesitation, Edward turned and kneeled beside the couch.

"I'm okay." I heard her murmur to him, "It's okay."

"Now, what the fuck?" Jack growled, "Really, no offense, but that bitch looks half dead. What's wrong with her?" I looked down, biting my lip. Hoping so much that he wouldn't ask me.

"She's pregnant." Edward answered sharply, standing back up.

"No fucking shit." Jack replied, "I can fucking see that, but most pregnant bitches don't look like _that_. Trust me. I've seen a few. What's the deal?" Nobody answered him, so naturally, he looked to me, "You. What's the deal? And don't fucking tell me you don't know, because I know you do."

"I really don't." I mumbled in reply, "None of us do."

"Uh-huh." Jack muttered, clearly not believing me.

"Jack." I looked over and the left stranger nodded toward the cup sitting on the table behind Esme. I knew full well that the smell of that cup was probably what alerted him to the fact that it wasn't just a normal cup.

God, he was too observant. I could just barely see it where I was standing, which meant Jack had about the same vantage point as I did, but that guy had a good view of it.

"Bring that to me." Jack snapped his fingers at Esme, and her eyes narrowed but she didn't move. Jack's eyes narrowed as well, "Are you deaf, bitch? Jesus Christ."

"Don't talk to her like that." I snapped, unable to help it, "If you want it, get it your own damn self."

I never saw the slap coming, despite how I really should have. Jack hit me, and I hit the floor before the sound even stopped ringing in the room. It took me a moment to even realize I was on the floor, as it took that long for it to register to me over the sharp pain along the left side of my face and all throughout my head.

By the time it did, and as involuntary tears blurred my suddenly spinning vision, Esme was kneeling next to me. I could just focus enough to let her help me to sit up, before she was suddenly yanked away from me. She was practically thrown back, and I was forcefully sat up straighter by an immovable hand in my hair. Ripping a cry of pain from me.

"You ever feel like talking to me that way again," Jack growled straight into my face, the pressure intense on my head, "That'll be the last thing you ever fucking do."

I looked over just in time to see Esme coming right back for him, but he was faster. Spinning, almost too quickly for me to see it, he landed a closed fist right to her face. Knocking her back to the floor as well.

Why didn't she have help? I looked passed him, towards the other side of the room to find both Carlisle and Edward restrained. Held back behind the couch on the complete opposite side of the room.

Esme wasn't staying down, though, and this time Jack caught her as she came forward. Letting me fall back to the floor, trying to straighten my vision enough to be of some sort of use.

I could only just see as he stood up to get better leverage against her, because he nearly stepped on me to do so.

"Bitch." Jack growled loudly through clenched teeth, swinging Esme around and getting a better hold on her as she fought. Her fighting didn't work for long, though. He wrestled her until he had her where he wanted her. One hand held Esme's neck, the other her hair, effectively pinning her the way I always remembered being pinned. Her back against him.

"Whoa." Jack chuckled, "Okay! Everyone just calm the fuck down."

I could easily see why he had to say that, despite the way I had yet to see anything straight. My head ached horribly, but I could think through it. Unlike awhile back.

"A simple fucking question, people." Jack barked at the room, "See this?" He jerked Esme rather roughly, forcing her head to the side what looked like painfully, "This didn't need to happen. If your fuse wasn't so goddamn short, everything would be fine. Wouldn't it? But hey." He looked around at her face, "I'm not complaining."

My spinning vision was really making me dizzy, and I ached so bad to just close my eyes, but I knew I couldn't do that when I really needed to keep watching. I watched as Jack forced Esme forward ahead of him as he moved forward. Toward the coffee table. He leaned forward just enough, right toward the cup.

"Pick it up." He growled at her. He waited just a few seconds, tightening his hold on her hair when she didn't move, drawing a hiss from her that even I heard, "I can do this all day, you bitch. Fucking pick it up." Still nothing. She refused, so he jerked her harder, "Pick it up!"

"No." Esme growled through clenched teeth, and I was partially glad I couldn't see her expression, because her tone really scared me.

I couldn't help it, though.

"Esme." I whimpered, unable to keep the sob from the single word. I couldn't stand seeing her like that, and if just picking up the fucking cup was all it took for him to ease up on her, she needed to do it. It bothered me deeply, seeing her held like that. Especially by Jack. She was too good of a person to be treated that way.

"Hear that?" Jack asked her, his tone easing to a quieter one, "Hear her? Tell me, bitch. What's better in this situation? Being stubborn and right, and letting her watch you die? Or doing what I fucking tell you to do, and picking up the goddamn, motherfucking cup?"

This wasn't about the cup anymore. I recognized what he was doing by the story my mom had told me about what he'd done to her when I was little. Seeing it happening in front of me froze me to the spot. He was trying to do the same thing to Esme that he'd done to my mom a long time ago. It wasn't about the cup. It was about forcing her to bend and eventually give in. Once that happened, he'd know how far he needed to push her before she'd give in again. I saw right through it.

I could vaguely hear Edward's growled threats, but I couldn't focus on them. I was far too focused on what was happening to Esme. Hardly even allowing myself to blink. Bella, having sat in silence until then started to reach forward to pick up the cup for Esme, but one look and deep growl from Jack had her sitting back again. Retracting her hand like he'd nearly burned her. I couldn't blame her.

"Let her go, Jack." I spoke as firmly as I could, despite how upset I was. He ignored me, speaking directly into Esme's ear now. Far too quietly for me to hear, but given the renewed struggles from Carlisle, Edward and especially Esme, I knew it wasn't anything pleasant. I could just hear his muted voice talking against her skin.

" _Please_." I tried again, but went even further ignored. There was literally nothing I could do. Each time I tried to find the strength to sit up, much less get up on my feet, the dizziness kept me down. I settled for just pushing myself up with my hands, whimpering as the movement made my head ache worse, but I managed to.

That was the first step. From there, I could slowly get my legs under me to kneel there dizzily. I knew I swayed a little where I sat, but I was upright.

Before I could even work on getting to my hands and knees to crawl my way over, Esme finally moved. Giving in and lifting the cup. I wasn't sure what seeing that did to me. Part of me was glad she did so, but another part of me hated seeing her forced to give in like that. I hated it.

"Good." I heard from Jack, "See? Was that so hard?" His tone now made me sick. Turning my stomach, drawing a sob from me at the same time. He'd used the same tone on me so many times before, I'd lost count. When I'd done something he considered to be good, but I always wound up hating myself for. Only that tone was far more intense now. His voice holding just a hint of a growl now, deep but forceful.

"Now," He spoke again, "Tell me. I know that cup doesn't belong to any one of you, because the blood in that cup is human blood. You don't feed on humans, do you?"

"It was Bella's." I sobbed where I sat, "F-For the baby." I couldn't move now as he turned around, hauling Esme with him and looked at me, "The baby is half vampire, so she needed blood. The cup was Bella's cup."

"Would you look at that?" Jack asked, looking to Esme again and speaking to her, "Isn't that interesting? It really sounds to me like she was lying to me before. Doesn't it?" Esme stayed quiet, "She sure seems to know more about this whole thing than she was willing to say before, huh Esme? What do you think her punishment should be?"

I sure hadn't expected that turn of events. Instinct forced me to attempt to stand, but I just fell back onto my butt, grasping the chair beside me in slight panic as I struggled backwards a little ways.

"Leave her out of this." Esme growled, "I told her to lie."

"That's beside the point." Jack chuckled against her cheek. The way he had her, she had no chance to defend herself, or even cringe away the way I always wanted to when he spoke to me like that. He sighed, though, "But that can wait. Let's focus on what she said. Half vampire? That can happen?" He looked to me again, so I knew he was directing that question at me.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "It can."

"How's that work?" He frowned.

I hesitated, "The same way any other baby is made."

"She's full of it, Jack." The one holding Edward barked, "That's not possible."

"No I'm not." I snapped in his direction, "It's true. I'm not lying." Lying would be the opposite of helpful to me in this situation. Lying again, anyway.

"I should have a thousand kids out there with as many times as I've fucked."

"Were they human?" I argued, and he fell silent, "She has to be human for it to work."

"Human?" He asked, chuckling, "That's even more impossible. There's no fucking way-"

"Shut up." Jack barked at him, but he was obviously thinking about it. He looked to Esme, "Is this true?" She stayed quiet, much to my nervousness as he growled, "You know, I'm getting real tired of your shit, but you're too pretty to kill right away." He smirked, glancing briefly to me, "Let's see how silent you stay-"

"You raise one hand toward her," Esme cut him off, "And you know you won't survive it." I could see what she meant. He needed both hands to keep hold of her, and he knew it too. The second he loosened the hold of one hand, she'd get loose.

"Oh," Jack chuckled, jerking her head to the side again, "Threatening me now? That's okay. I'll forgive that, because I like them feisty, but I always win them over." Leaning down, he breathed in at her neck, drawing another struggle from her.

I couldn't stand it. I couldn't keep watching that, looking down.

"You." Jack barked at me again, and through tearing eyes, I looked back over, "Come here."

"I can't." I couldn't hide the quiet sob of emotion that came through, "I can't even stand up."

"Then fucking crawl." He snapped, drawing a flinch from me, "But get your ass over here."

"Stay there, Leandra." Edward spoke sharply, and I looked at him, wondering if he was crazy. Did he not see Esme where she was?

"You shut up." Jack growled over his shoulder.

"Don't move." Edward spoke again, only getting a rather painful looking jerk against his arms held behind him.

"Get over here." Jack told me, his eyes telling me that I really needed to listen to him. I hesitated, looking toward Carlisle and Edward across the room. I didn't know what to do.

"I'd go, girlie." The bored-looking one, the one holding Carlisle, muttered as he gave me a nod.

"Stay there, Leandra." Carlisle told me, "Stay." I couldn't, letting him know by the way I shook my head.

"You shut the fuck up too." Jack snapped louder, "Or someone's gonna die. I won't tell you again, fucker."

I took a deep breath, and started working on a way forward. With a hard sniffle, I leaned forward, placing my hands on the floor. My palms flat against the rug, struggling to stay upright as my head spun. The emotion only making it worse.

"Hurry the fuck up." Jack barked, just his tone forcing me forward. I made it to his feet, laying to the side and breathing deeply, keeping my eyes down as looking up would just bother me even more.

"See?" Jack chuckled now, speaking to Esme again, "See how easy that was for her? It could be that easy for you."

"Go to hell." Esme growled, and I flinched at her tone. She didn't know what she was doing. Jack sighed.

Had I bothered to look up, I would have seen the next blow coming. His foot, this time, flew forward and caught me right in my stomach. A crying cough escaped forcefully with whatever breath had been in my lungs and I rolled several times with the force of it, thankfully landing right where I started. The chair stopping me from hitting anything else. Edward's advice suddenly made a whole lot of sense.

"You said you weren't planning to hurt her!" Esme snapped.

"Plans fucking change!" Jack replied just as sharply, "Watch the fucking tone, slut."

I couldn't breathe, though. As hard as I fought, my entire chest was locked up as I audibly struggled for a breath. I ignored the dizziness, the pain in my head as I fought myself back up to my hands and knees in an effort to breathe. I was getting pretty scared when all that did was make it worse.

"See?" Jack snapped louder at her now, having to talk over the sounds of her very angry struggling growls, "See what you did? That's _your_ fault! Nobody fucking told you you had to talk back, you stupid bitch. Now look at her!"

The sound of her growls would always be stuck in my mind. I'd never forget them, or the fact that she only had to make those sounds because of me. Not only was Jack's voice grating hard on my nerves, but Esme's wasn't much easier to hear.

Through badly tearing eyes, I was surprised to find that Bella had managed to get up on her own and come over to me. She kneeled beside me, her hand lightly closing on my upper arm as she pulled me to the side.

"Sit up." She told me, "Sit upright." I used her supportive hands to pull myself upright enough to finally let out a deep sob, "You're okay. Come on. Slow down, and give yourself a chance to breathe." I listened to her instead of listening to Jack continuing to yell at Esme further in the room. I couldn't help it. I needed to calm down. The first shallow breath I took was an intense relief, but it didn't last long.

"Geez.." Bella murmured, and glancing up, I noticed she was looking at my face.

"You. Pregnant bitch." Jack barked, "Get your ass back to the couch. Nobody told you you could fucking move." She hesitated, looking up at him.

"Go." I cried to her quietly, "Please." She sighed, but did as he said. Pulling herself carefully to her feet. She managed one step before she paused, suddenly clutching her stomach. I looked up, knowing what was wrong the second I heard the sound she made. Nervously, I looked to Jack.

He watched her, but oddly, he waited. He didn't yell at her the second she stopped.

"Are you okay?" I asked, looking up at her. It was amazing, just by the look of pain in her features, that she managed to stay on her feet.

"Just a kick." She replied shakily, "But it _really_ hurt."

"Just be careful." I murmured.

"Don't worry about me." She said, "I'll be fine."

"Move it!" Jack finally snapped, causing Bella to jump. Which probably made the baby jump as well, "For fuck's sake!"

"She's trying." I told him, "Please.." I trailed off at the look he gave me.

"I don't have all fucking day, in case you forgot." He pointed out, but he seemed pleased enough at the fact that Bella continued on. Returning to the couch and carefully sitting back down with a heavy wince.

"Now." Jack snapped loudly against Esme's face, "We'll fucking try that shit again." He looked sharply to me, "Come here."

Not again.

My tears just restarted as I hesitated. I _really_ didn't want another kick, and I wasn't confident that Esme could comply with whatever he wanted just to spare me one. I _really_ didn't blame her, but I also didn't want more pain for her choosing not to give in.

"Did you not hear me?" He asked.

"Let her go." I requested, and immediately, he scoffed.

"I don't remember giving you a fucking option, you dumb bitch." His tone told me he was getting impatient.

"Let her go, and I will." I argued again.

"Get over here!" I flinched at his tone, squeezing my eyes shut briefly. He took a breath, but let it out in a growling sigh, "Just come here. I'm not gonna kick you again. I just want to say something."

Hesitantly and with one arm circling my stomach, I started forward again. Landing once more at his feet, glancing up at him. It really didn't take much for him to force Esme to her knees while he crouched behind her, holding her even more securely.

"Look at her." Jack told me, and through badly tearing eyes, I did as he said. Only managing to hold her gaze for a second before I had to look down with a sob.

"Aww." Jack murmured quietly now, "What? Can't even look at her? Can't bear to see what you did? Isn't this what you wanted?"

"No." I shook my head instantly, "I never-"

"This is exactly what you wanted." He countered.

"Don't listen to him, Leandra." Esme told me quietly.

"You shut up, bitch." He growled against her cheek, before he looked to me again, "Listen up, and listen good. If you _ever_ try to pull one over on me again, this will be a goddamn cake-walk compared to what I do. Do you understand me?"

"You knew about that?" I asked, surprised and horrified at the same time.

"It was so obvious." He replied, "But that's not the point. The point is that the next time I catch you thinking you're smart, and pulling some shit like this, nobody makes it out of here alive. Not them," He nodded toward Carlisle and Edward, "Not Bella, not Esme. Not even you. Do you get the picture?"

"Yes." I whimpered instantly. I really wished I was better at hiding my fear and my emotions, because tears trailed down my cheeks faster than I could stop them, and I knew for a fact that that was exactly what he wanted to see.

"And everyone else?" He asked, quieter now, "Not just the rest of this coven, but those other ones as well.. They won't make a damn bit of difference. So have them here. Have them around if it makes you feel better, but in the end, it won't matter. Not one bit, baby."

"I'm sorry." I couldn't help telling him that, and he smiled a little.

"I know you are." He replied, "I could do whatever I wanted right now, and make you even sorrier. I even _want_ to, but that's not why I'm here." To emphasize his words, he looked over at Esme again, "Pity."

"What's his name, Jack?" Edward spoke up again, and Jack looked back at him, "The one that can disguise your scent?"

"Why is he the only one you fucks are interested in?" Jack asked in return, his tone annoyed, "You still haven't figured it out. Do you really think I could be around as much as I have with only my scent disguised? You're so damn unaware it's almost painful."

"What do you mean?" I asked, and he sighed, but otherwise ignored me as he went on at Edward.

"You really did bring this on yourself." He said, "With all these extra motherfuckers hanging around, you couldn't possibly keep track of who's supposed to be here, and who isn't. She assumes he's with him, he assumes he's with her. Nobody asks, so it's a fucking breeze to come and go."

"I told you." I muttered quietly, "He's not stupid." I had to hand it to him. I hadn't thought of that.

He sighed, looking to Esme again, "Don't fucking turn on me, and I'll let you go." She didn't reply either way, so I was surprised when he actually did shove her away from him. She seemed fine, unharmed, but then again, I didn't get very good of a look before she was pulling me into her arms. Instead of turning on him, she'd come to me.

The relief that he'd let her go was just too much on my already rattled nerves. She turned my face up as I started to cry again, no doubt inspecting the spot he'd hit. It must have been bad if everyone was so focused on that.

"You figured there was safety in numbers." Jack muttered, ignoring us and standing up, "Usually there is, but you figured those fucking idiots out there would keep track of themselves. Big mistake. How the fuck do you expect to protect anyone from anything if that's how you're gonna run things?"

"Are you okay?" Esme asked me quietly, and I nodded. Mostly because I couldn't speak to ease her worries, and partially because I really didn't want her to worry about me.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered to her, my sobs breaking the sound, "I didn't mean-"

"It's not your fault, Leandra." She replied firmly, hugging me securely, "Please believe that."

"So." Jack suddenly speaking up again took my attention, "Tell me more about that kid." He turned looking toward Bella.

"There's not much more to know." She replied honestly, and I pulled back, allowing Esme to move.

"Don't give me that shit." He laughed, "It's not every day you hear about something like this."

"Leave her alone." I muttered, and he glanced back at me, "Um.. Please. She has it hard enough without you picking on her."

He didn't seem upset, looking down in thought as he turned a little and paced. He paused beside me, looking down at me now.

"Tell me more." He told me, "About this kid. Would it be sturdy?"

"You won't be able to pull it off." Edward immediately spoke up, "There's no way."

"Hey," Jack replied, "I'm curious."

"You can't do it." I shook my head, "What he means is that pulling it off takes more than you can do."

"You say you have no idea where your bitch mother is?" He asked me. I hesitated in nervousness before shaking my head. He nodded a little to himself, "I can find her."

"You can't do it." I repeated, knowing exactly what he was thinking, "She has to live for it to work."

"Then it'd be no big loss when I fail, would it?" He countered, "But definitely worth a try, I think." There was obviously no talking him out of it. I knew that. Looking to Esme again, she seemed just as uneasy as I was, but she smoothed my hair down my back.

He sighed, though, carefully crouching down next to me. With a warning glance at Esme, before he focused on me again. I met his eyes nervously, fully aware of Esme's tension to my other side.

"You're more trouble than you're worth." He told me quietly, "You know that, right?"

"Then why do you keep trying?" I found myself asking just as quietly.

"I don't know." He replied.

How did he do this? He could be so mean. So vicious at times, most of the time. So rough, violent and abrasive, but other times, his eyes would open up into something I rarely got a glimpse of. Giving me just a small look at the human in him, and making me want to cry at the same time. Mixing me up, confusing me and making me doubt in the briefest of seconds.

I hated him. I hated him for it, but it was those almost gentle moments I'd grown up hoping for. I hated him for it, but I was glad he seemed to keep that side of him.

"I hate you." I couldn't help telling him that.

"Good." He replied without missing a beat, "You should." That wasn't enough for me.

"I really hate you." I clarified, my voice trembling with every word I meant.

"Good." He repeated, "That hate is the most important thing I could have taught you. You don't even know yet what it can do for you, but I think you're finally starting to get it. Hold onto that."

I flinched as he suddenly stood up, turning to face Edward and Carlisle.

"Now." He spoke up firmly, "Some unfinished business.." I tensed hard, watching as he crossed the room and without hesitation, landed a violent punch to the side of Carlisle's face.

The intake of breath I took was rough, before I gave a cry, struggling to move forward, but Esme held me back. Seconds later, Jack gave him another punch, harder this time and I could clearly feel Esme tense as well. As sturdy as they were, I knew that had to at least hurt.

"Stop it!" I snapped as loudly as I could manage.

"He's okay." Esme assured me, despite being bothered herself, but I still cried.

"You earned those." Jack told him as Carlisle looked forward again, but despite how much those punches had to hurt, he never let on. Jack went on, "You've got worse than that coming. I told you once, you son-of-a-bitch. You took everything from me, and I plan to get it back."

"I did nothing." Carlisle replied quietly, "Everything you lost was your own doing, Jack. Had you realized just what you had, perhaps you would have taken better care of it. One day you'll see that you can't go your entire existence blaming everything on someone else, and it'll catch up with you."

A third punch had me fighting harder, despite the pain I was in. I barely felt it, but I wasn't sure what I'd be able to do if I did manage to get free. Fighting to take handfuls of the rug, just so I could try to pull myself loose. Half in Esme's lap, half stretched forward. With her holding me back, there wasn't much Esme could do for him either.

Before Jack could continue with that, though, I looked over as quickly as I could at the door opening. Unfortunately, it wasn't anyone here to help us, but three more unfamiliar vampires.

"Jack." The first male inside spoke, "We need to go. As much fun as you seem to be having, we need to leave. That.. Thing is coming."

"Whoops." Jack sighed, turning toward us again, "Guess time's up. It's been fun. Really." He looked at Esme, "I'll miss you most, but don't worry. I'll be seeing you again soon enough." He looked to me, "And you. Remember what I told you. If you're gonna try to pull one over on me, at least be less fucking obvious about it. Use your fucking head. It'll get you far."

I looked down, my emotions so messed up, I felt almost numb. This wasn't a new feeling to me, though, and for a moment, I wondered if I would throw up. He often left me feeling like this. It was somehow worse now, as my family had been involved.

"Let's go, Jack." The stranger by the door muttered, "We're covered."

I hardly noticed the way I trembled until seconds later, when Esme's arms were suddenly gathering me backwards and holding me again instead of restraining me. The secure way she held me was the sign I needed that it was okay to cry. She was here. She was okay.

It took me a moment to figure out how to unfold myself just enough to return her hug. When I did, I held onto her tightly, shaking uncontrollably, and I sobbed until I had no breath. I gasped another in, only to sob it back out.

"I'm sorry." I bawled breathlessly against her shoulder, my voice shaking roughly with my struggle to form words, "I hate him. I'm sorry."

"No, honey." She murmured, smoothing my hair down my back, "Please don't apologize." One glance behind her told me that Edward had stayed, kneeling beside the couch and talking to Bella who seemed pretty close to tears herself. Carlisle kneeled directly at our side, but everyone else was gone. He seemed fine, just like Esme had said.

Continuing to hold me, she turned a little to look at Carlisle. Despite knowing that everyone was still here, apparently unharmed and accounted for, I continued to get upset. The things I'd just seen replaying in my mind, keeping my cries going until I couldn't breathe anymore at just the _thought_ of what Jack was talking about.

"Jacob." I hardly heard Edward's voice across the room over the sound of my own heartbeat, "Go find the others, and get them back here."

"What the hell is going on?" When had he gotten here?

"Please." Carlisle this time spoke up, "Hurry. They were headed north."

Esme finally got me to pull back enough to look me in the eyes. Smoothing my hair away from my flushed and soaked cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed again.

"Breathe." She told me firmly but quietly. I would if I could. I gasped a deep breath in, only to choke on it. That hurt _really_ bad down my side and across my stomach, which only made me cry more. She spoke again, "Breathe, honey. Calm down, and breathe."

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut as I hung my head, but her hands refused to let me look down for too long.

"Look at me, honey." Her tone was firmer, and I had no choice but to look up at her, "No part of you is to blame for any of this."

"Yes I am." I nearly bawled, shaking my head again, "I am."

"No you're not." She continued to talk to me, "You're okay. We're all okay. See? Look around. Look around, Leandra."

Hesitantly, I did as she said. Both Bella and Edward watched us closely from the couch. I looked to Carlisle next, and though he was concerned, I knew he was letting Esme do this for a reason.

Focusing so hard on that, I hardly noticed when I managed a deep, trembling breath in. Everyone did seem to be okay. It could have been a _whole_ lot worse.

"Look at me again, honey." Esme spoke before I could start sobbing too hard again. I blinked heavy tears from my eyes as she smoothed my cheeks once more, "It's okay. It's okay, sweetheart." Her tone began to ease, "Breathe."

My attention was focused now on the next cough I couldn't help, but after that cough, I could gasp in again around the pain. She returned the hug I gave her now. Wrapping my arms tightly around her neck as I continued to cry, but I could breathe again.

I glanced over as she released me with one arm, keeping me held in her other one as she embraced Carlisle with her free arm. My trembling continued, despite her smoothing of my hair by the hand of her arm holding me.

Several minutes passed that way, and though my cries started to ease, I stayed right where I was. As did Carlisle, so I let her move enough to hug him a little easier. It was an odd sort of kneeling pile on the floor, but I couldn't move away. It was helping me to feel safer again.

Despite Carlisle trying to insist that I move back enough to get a look at my stomach, I stayed. I couldn't let go now.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled quietly again, and she looked to me.

"Honey," She replied, "No part of that was your fault."

"It was." I struggled not to cry again, "I didn't want any of this to happen, but I knew it would. Don't you remember? This was what I was saying would happen from the start. If it weren't for me, he never would have been here today."

"Don't think like that, Leandra." Edward told me from the couch. I couldn't help it, though.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered once more, but I couldn't keep arguing my point and stay calm at the same time, so I fell quiet again. Esme sighed, continuing to smooth my hair. I knew she was probably trying to calm down as much as I was. She just held it back better than I did.

I eventually had to listen to Carlisle. My left side was hurting too badly not to, so I sniffled hard as I let him pull me away just far enough to raise my shirt over my side. I couldn't look. I was too afraid to look, though if my ribs were broken, I had a feeling I would have known it by then. As much as they hurt, it was tolerable.

He sighed deeply, "Lay her down."

He assisted Esme as she moved to do so. I moved carefully to my butt first before letting them help me to lay down on the floor. The flat surface made it a little hard to breathe, but I knew I needed to be here if Carlisle said I needed to be here.

Once laying, Carlisle got a better look at my side. I focused more on my breathing than how much it hurt to be laying there, just so I didn't accidentally screw something up worse.

"As far as I can tell," He finally spoke, "They only seem to be bruised." That surprised me with how hard Jack had kicked me. He spoke to me this time, "I'm still going to insist on wrapping it, to minimize discomfort." I nodded. He was the doctor. I wasn't exactly up to arguing with him anyway.

He nodded as well, carefully standing up beside me and walking away.

He returned just seconds later with some kind of thick bandage. My shirt was raised further, bunched just under my chin as I looked at the ceiling. He carefully fitted the bandage just right against my side as Esme kept my arm supported, keeping it out of the way.

Not a word was spoken between them, but I knew it wasn't good. I wished I knew what they were thinking, as they both seemed to be focused more on me. Firmly, he covered nearly my entire midsection with the thick wrapping, which I allowed.

That was how the others found us when they got back. Jasper led the group through the door, flooding the room in a matter of seconds. Carlisle was almost finished with the bandage when Jasper made it to our side.

"What's wrong?" He asked, "What happened?" Feeling my emotions, he knew something was very wrong. Him just asking threatened to restart my tears, but I fought it as hard as I could.

"Are all of you okay?" Carlisle asked, slowly lowering my shirt for me as I finally looked down at what I was now wearing.

"We're fine." Alice replied, puzzled, "Why?"

Sighing heavily, Carlisle spoke again, "We have a problem."

Esme carefully helped me up off the floor now that I was okay to move. The movement, however, made my dizziness return with a vengeance, and I leaned to the side the second I stood up.

"Oh, honey." Esme murmured sadly, helping me upright. That took Carlisle's attention again, and I knew then whatever discussion they would have would wait until after he looked at me further.

I wasn't surprised to find out that I'd received a mild concussion from the hit I took from Jack. It had honestly felt almost identical to getting smacked full force with a solid oak baseball bat.

"She gonna be okay?" Emmett asked, obviously worried as he was standing right there when Carlisle told me what was wrong.

"She'll be okay." Carlisle replied with a sigh, "I'd just prefer to keep a close eye on her. Especially with those ribs, and for the time being, she has to stay awake until we know for sure that that's all that's wrong." Which really sucked because I was pretty worn out by then. Announced, conveniently, by the yawn that escaped moments later.

"What the hell happened?" Jacob was back as well, and as emotionally sore as I was, I couldn't find a dislike for him anywhere in me anymore. He'd run and gotten the others.

And so I sat with Esme, leaning against her side as I let Carlisle and Edward tell everyone else what had happened. Including details I never picked up, or was too afraid to pay attention to.

The bandage around my midsection made it hard to get too deep of a breath, but at least I could breathe. My left side ached horribly, but I wasn't complaining.

I wanted desperately to sleep, as each yawn that escaped was more intense than the last, and there were many, but Mikah, standing beside the chair Esme and I sat in, refused to let me. He seemed to know every single time I closed my eyes and gently squeezed my shoulder in response.

It was nice to have him right there. Oddly enough, him just standing there made it somehow a little easier to breathe.

"That fucker did that?" Emmett asked sharply, pointing at my face as they reached that point of the story. I flinched a little, leaning away before I even realized I moved. If only he knew that that wasn't the only thing he did.

"He hit her _hard_." Bella mumbled from the couch, shaking her head, "I'm surprised she didn't lose consciousness."

"He'll lose more than that when I find him." Mikah grumbled quietly, and I glared up at him.

"Get in line." Emmett scoffed lightly.

" _Stop_." I finally spoke for the first time in all of this, "Just _stop_. Do you really think you saying shit like that makes me feel any better? It doesn't, so just _please_. Stop it already!"

It fell quiet for a moment, and I was sure that was only because they heard exactly how close to tears I really was. After everything that happened that morning, I was tired. _So_ done, fed up with all the talk of violence and vengeance. I just wanted it to end. I was no longer after any of that for myself. Jack had pretty much cured that.

"Go on." Jasper eventually prompted, "What happened to her ribs?"

I felt sick just thinking about it. Just thinking about it forced an involuntary whimper from me, as it brought forward all the fresh memories.

"He kicked her." Bella answered, gaining their attention, "To prove a point." I knew exactly what she was doing. She was taking the conversation in a direction that didn't require anyone to know exactly what was going on with Esme at the time. She was brilliant.

"He _kicked_ her?" Mikah asked, "What point could he prove by doing that? That she's smaller than him?"

"If this is any indication on what he's planning, I don't want to see what happens when he has more time." Jasper sighed.

"Me either." I whimpered, my voice breaking at just the thought. Esme's arm tightened around me, easing me just enough for my tears to stop at a few.

I wasn't the only one this time that noticed Bella's deep wince and gasp of pain as she sat forward a little, closing her eyes. Edward beside her leaned closer as the rest of us fell quiet.

"She's upset." Edward finally murmured, "Worried."

That was a very bad thing. If Ness was upset, it was because she knew something was wrong. With all the yelling Jack had done at Bella, and just in general, I wasn't surprised that Ness was upset. She might not have been intelligent enough to know exactly what it was, but she was intelligent enough to know that something definitely wasn't right by the tone of voice around her. I didn't know if or how that would change things, but I knew it wasn't good.

"He knows." I spoke again, "Jack knows about Bella. The baby. I _had_ to tell him."

"Oh, wonderful." Emmett muttered, sighing, "I really wonder what he'll do now that he has that knowledge."

"I'm not worried about what he'll do." I mumbled, "I'm more worried about who he'll tell." That made the room fall silent, as I was sure I brought up a valid point. If the word were to spread far enough for Aro to hear about it, there was no way we could avoid a visit from him. Not with something this interesting to him.

"I _had_ to tell him.." I mumbled again, "I had to."

"Nobody's blaming you, Leandra." Edward murmured, "Believe me."

"Okay," Jacob spoke up finally, "So wait. Start from the beginning. Who the hell is this guy? He must be pretty important if you're this worried about him coming back."

Hesitantly, I looked over at Esme. I wouldn't even know where to begin explaining, but thankfully, I didn't have to. Everyone else did it for me. My job was to sit there quietly and try to stay awake.

"So.." Jacob muttered after the explanation, "This guy has been a problem for awhile."

"Awhile." I confirmed quietly, "My whole life."

"Well he must be smarter than you think," He said, "Because he knows to stay clear of our land. The only ones we've seen even close by that area, are ones from the other covens hanging around here somewhere."

"No offense," Mikah murmured, "But your smell could repel anybody."

"I don't like that Bella was dragged into the middle of this today."

"And you think I do?" I countered, angrier than I meant to.

"Easy, killer." Jacob muttered, "Not what I meant. I wasn't trying to blame you."

I took a breath, shaking my head and looking down. I was far too on edge.

"Come on, sweetheart." Esme spoke up, "Let's take a walk."

I nodded a little, gladly accepting her help in standing up. I was still a little unsteady on my feet, but I didn't need her help to correct myself this time. I was more than okay with getting away from everyone, especially considering I was almost ready to cry again, and that would be embarrassing.

By the time I was allowed to sleep, I was more than ready to fall into bed. I did so gladly, nearly crying in relief alone at just the opportunity to curl up under my blanket and close my eyes for longer than a few seconds at a time. It was very needed.

When I woke up, though, Esme was still sitting with me, and I hated the look I saw in her eyes, despite how she smiled at me. It was still daylight outside, so I obviously hadn't been asleep that long.

"Hi, honey." She murmured, "How are you feeling?" Like complete shit.

"We're not telling them, are we?" I mumbled quietly, and she reached over with a sigh. Smoothing the blanket gently over me.

"Telling them will only cause more trouble than it's worth." She replied, and I nodded. I understood that. The last thing we needed was for Emmett to hear about it, and go storming off to find him. As much as they already wanted to, if they heard about what he did to Esme, there would be no stopping them.

"I was so afraid.." I admitted, emotion quieting my already nearly silent voice, "I-I didn't know.. I-I couldn't do anything.. No matter how much I wanted to."

"I know." She replied, her smile fading into sadness as she smoothed my cheek gently, "Honey, it wasn't up to you to do anything. What happened wasn't your fault."

"It feels like it is." I argued, but I made myself stop. I couldn't keep talking, knowing that the others could probably hear everything I had to say. I spoke up again, though, as I sat myself up, "What if he comes back?"

"He's not coming back." She assured me, "At least not tonight. You need to rest." That wasn't working for me, and I felt so stupid, but I started to cry again. Reaching forward, she hugged me gently. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the tears that fought me for freedom.

Truthfully, I was scared. Terrified beyond belief, because that was the first time they'd ever been in the same room as Jack. The first time they'd officially met him, or seen him. The first time Jack had officially met them, and he came so close to seriously hurting one of the people I cared about the most in the world. The guilt was intense, knowing that they wouldn't even know his name if it wasn't for me.

I knew full well, though, that being so upset about all this wasn't helping anything. I had to think about what it was doing to her, too. After all she'd been through, she now had to watch me being such a baby about it, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be as brave as she was because I knew. I knew what it was like being where she'd been. It was one thing going through it myself, though. A whole different story to watch someone else going through it.

"I know." She murmured as if she knew what was bothering me, "Honey, believe me. It's okay. It wasn't your fault." She didn't seem upset with me, and it was all the invitation I needed to stop fighting it and finally lose it again.

"Princess?" Mikah's quiet voice in the doorway couldn't even help me.

"She'll be alright." Esme assured him.

It took maybe a few minutes before I could finally breathe normally. Thankfully, considering crying like that really hurt my ribs. As soon as I leaned back, taking a breath, Esme smoothed my cheeks gently as I spotted those in the doorway.

Alice had come to check on me as well as Mikah, Jasper standing just behind her.

"We'll watch her." Alice murmured, and I understood then that she obviously had somewhere else to be.

"I'll be okay." I told her, and she smoothed my cheeks again.

"Are you sure?" She asked, and I nodded. She accepted that, and I watched her leave as I carefully adjusted how I sat in my bed.

"Bad day?" Mikah was the one that broke the silence that followed.

"You have no idea." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down now, "But I don't want to talk about it." Mostly because I didn't want to give anything away that needed to not be given away.

He sighed, and I glanced up briefly as he stepped into the room.

"You're still blaming yourself." He observed.

"I'll always blame myself." I admitted, "But that's not it."

"Then what is it?" He asked, carefully sitting on the side of the bed. I fell quiet, shaking my head.

"It won't help anybody to keep it all bottled up, Leandra." Alice murmured, "You know that."

"It won't help anybody for me to talk about it, either." I countered, "Trust me."

"Why am I getting the feeling there's something that nobody wants to talk about?" Jasper asked quietly, "What really happened?"

"Everything that they said happened really happened." I muttered, focusing on my blanket.

"But is that all that happened?" He asked, and I hesitated.

"That would be a no." Mikah told him before I could try to lie.

"I can't tell you." I finally sighed, "There is more to it, but I can't tell you."

I looked over as Alice sighed as well, moving into the room and coming to my side. I looked back down as she frowned, turning my face to get a better look at it.

"Look at you." She muttered sadly.

"I haven't seen it." I mumbled in reply, "How bad?"

"It's bad." She confirmed quietly. Hesitating for a moment before she sat down as well on the side of my bed and spoke again, "What did he do, Leandra?"

"I can't tell you." I replied, "I wish I could, but.. Esme's right. It'll just cause more problems than fix them."

"What makes you say that?" She asked.

"Because if you knew, you'd want to go find him." I answered, "I don't want that, and besides." I hesitated again, "It's not my thing to tell." She frowned, "It's everyone's. I think they just want to forget about what he did as much as I do."

"You shouldn't be interrogating her." Edward arrived in the doorway, "Hasn't she been through enough today?"

"Keeping secrets isn't the way to go." Jasper pointed out, ignoring Edward, "No matter our reaction, we need to know these things."

"Not this." I whimpered.

"I will say this." Edward spoke up again, "Nothing _actually_ happened. It came close, and the things he implied were.. Less than tolerable, but he decided against it. Does that help at all?"

"Then why was she so upset?" Mikah asked.

"You've never met anyone like Jack." Edward replied quietly, " _I've_ never met anyone like him. The things she says.. The things she tells you are very, very mild compared to actually meeting him. It's true, I used to hunt men like him in my earlier years, but.. His.. Is the absolute worst mind I've ever come across. It's something I never want to come across again. That should say something about why she was so upset."

Mikah looked down.

He talked me out of having to answer them for right then, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before it was brought up again. Especially with the reminder plastered all over my face.

"Talk about something else." Edward suggested, "Something that'll distract her. Not constantly remind her of what happened today."

"I'm sorry, Leandra." Alice apologized first, gently patting my hand resting on the blanket.

"Sorry, princess." Mikah was next, sighing.

"It's okay." I muttered, "I get why you guys wanna know so bad, but.. I just can't."

"We'll be back in a little while, Leandra." Edward informed me, and that took my attention.

"You're leaving?" I asked, sitting up straighter, "Where are you going?"

"We need to hunt." He explained, "We won't be gone long." I didn't like that one bit. Everyone was together, which meant safety, and they wanted to split up again?

I couldn't help it, "Don't go."

"We have to, Leandra." He replied, but I could see my worry was getting to him, "We have no choice. We'll be alright."

"He'll come back." I was even surprised at my sudden tears, "I know he will."

"You'll be well protected-"

"No I won't." I sobbed, "And what about you? Remember what he said? Remember what he said to Esme? Don't go. _Please_ don't go."

"We won't be going far." He told me quietly, "Believe me, I'd rather stay too. With Bella so close, however, we can't risk being unprepared."

"Don't go." I shook my head anyway.

"This bothers me." Mikah murmured sadly, looking toward Edward.

"Go ahead." Alice said, looking toward Edward as well, "She'll be alright." With a deep sigh, Edward nodded and turned. I couldn't exactly fight out of bed, considering Alice was sitting right there. All I could really do was look down and cry pathetically.

"What did he say, Leandra?" Jasper asked quietly, and I suddenly had hope. Maybe if I told them, they could make them stay.

"He had Esme." I cried, shaking my head, "He kicked me because she wasn't doing what he wanted."

"He wasn't threatening you." Alice understood now.

"It was her." I whined, shaking my head again, "I couldn't help her. Nobody could."

"He kicked you," Mikah muttered, "Because she wasn't doing what he wanted?"

"He was trying to do the same thing he did to my mom." I explained through my heavy tears, "He knew hurting her wouldn't work, so he hurt me instead."

"Why wouldn't you tell us this sooner?" Jasper asked.

"I didn't want anyone to leave." I sobbed, quieter now in my shame, "If I told you, you'd try to go find him, because it was Esme and not me." With a sinking heart, I watched him turn from the doorway.

"Where's he going?" I asked nervously, "Don't let him leave either. Don't let him leave!" Despite how it hurt, I struggled up. Trying to make my way off the bed, but Alice caught me.

"Easy, Leandra." She murmured, "He's talking to Jacob." I continued to struggle a little, fighting through her hands until I was free enough to crawl forward. Seeing that keeping me there was only hurting me more, she released me.

I couldn't run, as that was too much bouncing for my pain tolerance, but I didn't have to. Stepping from the room, I spotted Jasper in no time. Sure enough, Jacob was just walking away from him, headed outside.

"Back in bed, shorty." Emmett spoke up from his place beside the couch. He was less than pleased, so I knew he must have overheard.

"They already left, didn't they?" I whimpered.

"They'll be alright, Leandra." Jasper replied, "They'll be back soon." My attention was taken, though, by Dess ascending the porch steps outside. Three others following her as she stepped inside. I was surprised she was still around, since we hadn't used her help with Jack before. I recognized Evan as one of the three she brought in.

"These guys are most practiced." She spoke to Jasper now, "They'll be the ones inside. Everyone else is around the outside of the house. Nobody is getting through us."

"How do you know?" I asked her, unsure and she looked to me.

"They would literally have to walk right by to get to any entrance into the house." She explained, "I promise. This place is well protected now."

I still didn't buy it, and she seemed to know it. Smiling a little, she gestured me forward. I hesitated, looking toward Jasper, so he nodded. I started forward with both Mikah and Alice in tow. She smiled again, and led me outside into the graying afternoon light.

I spotted five outside in the yard first, just beyond the porch.

"There are at least two posted at every other entrance door." She told me, and I nodded a little, "Including upstairs." That surprised me, so I turned around and looked up. Sure enough, I saw the two on the upper level ledge of the house. One paced, the other inspected his shirt in a bored manner.

"The main windows are guarded as well." She went on, pointing the other direction. I followed her gesture, spotting yet two more, "It continues that way all around the house, so you have nothing to worry about. Just consider us your security system for the time being."

"Won't they get bored up there?" I wondered, sniffling a little.

"Doubtful." She replied, "They take their job as seriously as they need to. Besides. They don't need to be entertained to do what they need to do."

"What about the others?" I asked, looking to her, "Carlisle?"

"Cole and his entire coven is accompanying them." She replied, "And as far as I understand, some of the wolves have now been recruited as well. They're not pleasant to be around, but they do come in handy when it comes to extra numbers. Cole and his coven seem to tolerate them more than we do."

That made me feel a whole lot better. I still worried, of course, but knowing they had that many with them made it tolerable.

"It's pretty funny." She spoke again, "Not that long ago, we were requested to stay away from the house in hopes he would come. Now we're needed to keep him away. I don't understand it, but I'm not complaining. Carlisle requested help, and we're here to do just that."

"I'm sorry." I murmured, "I'm sorry if this is a hassle."

"Don't be, darling." She smiled, "As with any other situation, we're still learning."

Despite knowing I was as safe in my room as I was anywhere else, I chose to spend the night in the living room so it was easier for them to watch me. As selfish as it was, I really couldn't stand being alone right then.

Bella was once again on the couch. In just a few hours, she seemed to grow a bit bigger, and though I expected that, she sure didn't. She really was too close for them to skip the hunting trip tonight. They were doing the right thing, despite the threat against us. I knew they'd do the same for me if I ever needed it, but it really made me see how brave they were and just how much they value their family.

It was probably all the activity that happened just a few hours before, but it was calmer now. Neither Bella or I spoke now, just comfortable with sitting there. Well, I sat. She laid.

I chose the chair opposite the one I usually sat in, since the one I usually sat in was the one I hit after that kick earlier. As it gradually got darker outside, the clouds finally produced the rain I anticipated, and another blanket was brought in for Bella.

I had yet to see my bruise. I didn't want to. The way anyone's eyes grew sadder or more concerned every time they looked at me told me enough. Even without the throbbing pain there. A pain simple Aspirin only dulled a little bit, but I refused to take anything else.

Mikah stood beside me, no doubt not wanting to leave me for a second. I couldn't exactly blame him, and his closeness comforted me. I appreciated it more than I was sure he knew.

Jasper sat in the offending chair, Alice perched beside him on the armrest. Rosalie was even downstairs with all of us, probably in case Bella needed anything. Emmett stayed on his feet, watching out the window into the yard. He was quieter than I was used to him being, and I was sure he was going over everything I let slip just a few hours ago extensively in his mind. He didn't like it any more than I did.

It was Emmett, though, that finally broke the silence.

"Can someone talk about something, please?" He grumbled, "It's too damn quiet." I asked the first thing that popped into my head. Going with instinct, I blurted it out.

"What's for dinner?" I muttered, and surprisingly, that worked. I couldn't help feeling relieved at his quiet, but clear laugh. Even Bella laughed a little, also amused.

So far, it seemed like they'd forgotten about feeding me. I wasn't entirely helpless, and they knew that, but when it came to anything more than something I could microwave or sandwiches, I was pretty clueless when it came to making food.

"Come on." Emmett mumbled, "Let's figure that out." I accepted Mikah's help in standing up, wincing a little as I got to my feet. I could walk on my own, but standing up was another story. I knew Emmett was only helping me as a way to distract himself, but I couldn't blame him. I was only willing to eat as a way to distract myself.

I followed him into the kitchen, Mikah following me. In there, we managed to distract each other for quite some time, though I could only handle eating a little bit, and we returned to the living room afterwards in a bit better of a mood.

It was just passed seven in the evening, when I looked over at the rest of the family's return. I was surprised, because I'd expected them to be gone all night. Edward _had_ mentioned that they'd only be gone a few hours, but it never even occurred to me to believe him.

I was more than relieved enough to struggle to my feet, only using Mikah's shirt once to haul myself up before turning and hugging Esme. She returned it with a sigh, and I knew by the sound that she knew I'd told them.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I-I thought.. I thought if I told them, they could make you stay."

"I understand, Leandra." She replied quietly, smoothing my back gently.

"Honestly," Mikah spoke up, "I'm glad you told us when you did, princess." Confused, I looked over, "Had you told us before, we probably would have gone to find him. By telling us when you did, we had no choice but to stay here and think about it."

"I'm still tempted." Emmett growled back by the door.

"Emmett," Esme turned to look at him, "I'm fine."

"That's not the point." He replied, but he sighed, "That fucker better hope I never find him." I'd never quite heard that tone from him before. I'd heard plenty of threatening tones from him, but never like this.

I remembered then, pulling back to look over at Carlisle, "I'd check on Bella. She hasn't been able to sit up all night."

"I can." She argued tiredly, "I just don't want to." Edward was already ahead of me, already kneeling beside the couch to look her over before I'd even said anything.

"Carlisle." He sighed, looking over. I recognized that tone, as did Carlisle.

"Damn, shorty." Emmett muttered, "When you said it'd go fast, I didn't think you meant less than a day."

"Fast is fast." I shrugged a little, "Faster for her, I guess. It took me like a full day. Maybe a little more." I looked over toward Bella. As Carlisle neared, Edward moved a little, and I finally saw his concern. He'd raised Bella's shirt over her stomach, finally showing the skin underneath, and in the brief glance I had, I was horrified.

"Holy shit." I couldn't help muttering.

She'd had bruises, patches here or there before, but now she had entire sections of her stomach bruised. Black bruising spread over mainly on her upper left side, near her ribs. The splotches of bruising on her left spread over the top portion of her stomach, and a separate one on her right side spread downward, nearly reaching her hip.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Alice asked, surprised as well.

"Because she hasn't been kicking." She replied, "Just moving now and then, but I guess it was enough. This must have been from earlier when Jack was here."

"She hasn't kicked?" I asked hesitantly, and that caught my attention.

"No," She answered, "Not for awhile now. Mostly laying still." I recognized what she was saying, and knew exactly what it meant. What with the damage already done, and the fact that Ness was too still for my taste, that told me more than anything else.

"It has to be tonight." I murmured, and Edward glanced over at me. I was even surprised at how fast this seemed to happen, but I had a sinking feeling that Jack had a lot to do with it. It was almost like she was in a rush to get out now, as if that was a decision she could make.

"I agree." Carlisle sighed, "But ultimately, it's up to you, Bella." That seemed to make her nervous.

"You're sure she'll be okay?"

"She'll be fine." I replied, "I promise she'll be fine, but if you wait too much longer, she's going to think it's time to be born. Remember what I said? When she stays still like that, it means she's getting ready."

She considered it for a moment, before she finally took a breath and nodded. Carlisle nodded as well and turned to look back at Mikah.

"Please go talk to Destiny." He told him, "Let her know what's going on. Have her spread the word among the covens and make sure it reaches the wolves. Stay close, but stay outside."

"I think we'll help him." Alice offered quietly, standing up with Jasper in tow.

"Good idea." Carlisle nodded, "I'll let you know when it's safe to come back inside." Mikah nodded and gently patted my shoulder before he rounded for the door.

"Carlisle." I spoke up as the three of them left, and Carlisle looked over, "What about Tanya?"

"She's aware." Carlisle assured me, "She knows the situation. It won't be a surprise to them, Leandra."

"I hope you're right." I muttered, but fell quiet as Carlisle turned his attention to Edward.

"Emmett." Esme spoke up, taking his attention, "I'm putting you in charge of watching Leandra. While all this is going on, I think she needs to stay somewhere safe. Just in case."

"Gotcha." He agreed easily, to my relief. Him watching me gave him a job to do. Gently, she urged me forward toward him and I followed her lead easily. Stopping beside him as he lightly hugged me into his side.

"Leandra." Carlisle turned to me again, "I need to know exactly how it was done before."

"I don't remember." I admitted sadly, "All I know, is you put me to sleep for it. That way, I wouldn't remember anything about what happened."

"Did it work?" He asked.

"I guess so." I replied, laughing a little, "I just remember going to sleep, then waking up after it was all over. That's it." He nodded, obviously approving.

"Then that's what we'll do." He said, looking toward Edward, "It'll mean less stress on Bella, which places less stress on the baby."

"I'm okay with that." Bella murmured nervously, "I think she's had enough stress lately."

"It'll be over before you know it." I told her, and she glanced to me, "It's a little weird when you first wake up, but trust me. It's worth it." That seemed to help her. Taking a deep breath, she nodded. Her hand smoothing her stomach gently.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett mumbled, and I nodded a little as I allowed him to walk me toward my room.

"I don't think it'll take very long." I said, leading the way into my room.

"I have to admit I'm a little nervous." Emmett chuckled a little, "What's this thing gonna look like?"

"A baby." I replied easily, carefully lowering myself to sit on my bed, "She'll look like a mix between Edward and Bella. You'll see."

He fell quiet, watching me as I took as deep of a breath as I could. Holding that breath, I sighed it out as I rubbed my palms over my face.

"You okay?"

"No." I mumbled into my hands, "Too much."

"Just focus on the good things." He suggested quietly, "It makes it easier."

"I'm trying."

"Aren't you excited?" He asked, "You're about to see all your advice pay off."

I couldn't help worrying a little. What if everything had changed? What if it wasn't Ness this time? What if the baby was someone completely different? I knew either way, the baby would be welcome and healthy, but what if she wasn't the same as I remembered her being?

"Let's just close this." Emmett muttered, and I looked over, watching as he closed the door. I doubted that would help much with the smell of blood that would be coming from upstairs, but it was worth a try.

"Want me to open the window?" I asked, and he glanced over at it. Instead of replying, he crossed the room himself.

"You sit." He insisted, "You've had a rough day."

"I can still open a window." I muttered, but I appreciated not having to move. He sighed, lifting it open easily as he shook his head.

"What's wrong?" I had to ask.

"I _hate_ the thought that I was gone when you guys needed me." He replied quietly.

"It's not your fault." I said, "You guys had to hunt. It happens."

"Not today." He countered, "I should have been here."

" _Please_ don't feel bad." I mumbled, "Please?"

"I really can't help it, shorty." He offered a small, sad smile which didn't help much, "I promised to protect you, and when you needed me to, I wasn't here."

"You couldn't have known." I reasoned, "I don't blame you. Nobody does."

"I blame me." He argued with another shake of his head.

"That doesn't work." I said, "Not when it's my fault."

"Shorty, it's _not_ your fault." He sighed, "Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"Because Jack was right." I answered, "What he said.. He knew about everything we tried to do to catch him. He knew it was me that wanted to try so hard. Because I pushed it, he showed up to prove why that was such a bad idea." I looked down, "He was right."

"You were determined."

"Well, if being determined gets me this, screw that." I muttered, "Never again."

He sighed again, but didn't reply.

I wasn't sure how long we were in there, but with him standing next to the window, he seemed to be doing okay. I couldn't hear anything in here, but probably twenty minutes into the silence in the room, Emmett's small laugh had me look up. His smile was a relief to see after the day I'd had.

"Is she here?" I asked, and he looked to me.

"Yeah." He replied, "I'd give it a few more minutes before we go rushing out there, though." I was suddenly anxiously eager, standing up, but I took his advice. I waited, pacing near the door until he finally chuckled again and started forward.

"Go ahead." He told me, and I pried open the door, stepping through it quickly. I didn't see anyone at first until I made it from the hallway, and I spotted Esme and Rosalie standing near the stairs. It was what was in Esme's arms that had my attention. I could only see the blanket the bundle was wrapped in. The blanket gave no indication of gender, considering it was white.

Part of me didn't want to look, but I moved forward anyway. My curiosity was too strong to ignore. Esme looked over at me, smiling as I neared.

"It's a girl." She reported quietly, and I immediately smiled. I'd been right this whole time. The timing must have been perfect.

I stepped closer, making it directly to her free side and peered closer. The baby was wide awake, looking up with a pretty bewildered expression. Until I got close enough, and she caught sight of me. Looking over at me.

My attention was taken briefly by movement back near the door. Alice felt brave enough to come inside, obviously curious as well. With Emmett standing just behind me, I knew my spot was safe.

I smiled up at Esme a little, "It's her. It's Renesmee. She's just like I remember her."

I couldn't hide how much of a relief that was. It was almost impossible to stay stressed out right then. There was plenty of time to stress later, but for right then, I could just focus on watching Esme holding Renesmee. Securely in one arm, her other hand gently smoothing Ness' auburn hair back. Much to Ness' appreciation, given the smile she gave and the way her eyes closed.

"I told you." I murmured, "I told you she'd be pretty."

It was quiet in the room otherwise, and Alice came closer. Already smiling as well. I was short enough that I could still see, but I didn't have to move to make room for Alice to stand next to me and get her look.

"This is amazing." Alice muttered after a moment, her finger gently smoothing over Ness' cheek. In response, Ness' mouth opened, and I could clearly see her tiny but perfect teeth.

"Careful." I told her, "She might bite."

At that warning, Alice pulled her hand back with a small laugh. The movement had Ness opening her eyes again, looking up at those looking at her once more. She turned her head further my direction, and it was quickly becoming clear that she was smelling me.

"Oops." I muttered, laughing a little as I stepped back. Ness whimpered, but Esme smoothing her hair again quickly solved that.

I looked over at the stairs, watching as Carlisle descended them, Edward in tow. I knew I wasn't the only one curious as everyone looked their way.

"She'll be alright." Carlisle finally told us, "She's still asleep for right now, and should come around in an hour or so." I smiled a little, relieved that she'd be okay.

"Leandra," I looked up at Carlisle as he spoke to me now, "We couldn't have done this without your instruction."

"Sure you could." I denied, laughing a little as I shook my head.

"I mean it, Leandra." He murmured, "Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."

I wasn't sure if he was just saying that to make me feel good, or if he was speaking honestly, but either way, I actually felt good about myself and what I'd been able to do. Safely getting Bella far enough along, while avoiding an emergency.

I couldn't help it. I had to smile a little as I nodded.

"It's funny." I murmured, "Everything I learned was because of Bella and what she went through last time. It's like some weird, messed up circle, but it worked."

However, it didn't really hit me how much this meant until Edward stepped forward and before he even said anything, hugged me. I could definitely tell how grateful he was, his hug tight but not restricting.

Shaking off my surprise, I returned his hug, laughing a little. The hug was far from unwelcome, as the entire time I'd been here, I felt like I hardly knew Edward at all. Getting to know the others far more than him, especially during our stay in New York. Over the last few weeks, I'd lost that feeling of not really knowing him. I felt like he'd helped me more than I'd ever been able to help him, but it was because he'd helped me that I was able to help him.

"Thank you." His tone held surprisingly more gratitude than his hug did. Bella meant everything to him, so I understood.

"You're welcome." I murmured in reply, and I couldn't have said anything more true. I was so glad I was finally able to do something actually helpful. I was so glad everything turned out okay. Everything I'd shown him, and everything I'd told them was enough to help. Making tonight a success.

"I told you." I smiled again, pulling back, "I knew she could do it."

He sighed, and pulled back a little more. My smile only got a little wider as he looked over, looking toward Esme where she stood. He smiled the second he saw Ness in her arms. I was sure in all the excitement, he hadn't really had a chance to get to know her.

"That," I mumbled, "Is what all the fuss was about. Isn't she the same as I remember her? Isn't she totally worth it?"

It didn't seem like he could reply, so I fell quiet. Just watching as he turned toward Esme. She handed Ness over to him easily as he gently lifted her from her arms. Instantly, as if she knew who he was, Ness smiled at him.

I moved away then, giving them space and heading across the room to where Emmett stood to watch as Edward held her. Probably for the first official time. I couldn't help smiling. It was just too amazing of a sight. Too pure of a moment not to feel it.

Despite how horrible the day had been, it was ending on a pretty positive note.

 **A/N: My, what a busy little chapter. And it came out longer than I expected it to be, but it's not too bad.  
I'm sorry this took so long! It's been pretty hard to find time to get to this, but I got it out, and I really hope it was worth the wait. :)**  
 **THANK YOU! To those that were kind enough to leave me their reviews for last chapter! I don't know what I'd do without you guys!**  
 **Next chapter shouldn't take as long. Hopefully. I have pretty much all this week free, before everything picks up again next week after my next (and maybe last) ultrasound, where we get to find out Little KNeu's gender. Maybe. If LK cooperates and shows us the goods. After that, it's planning after planning.**  
 **BUT! I'll try to have fourteen out before then. Let's see if I succeed.**  
 **Until Fourteen, my friends!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Giving a glance around, I didn't see Mikah. Until I looked outside, and spotted him sitting on the porch steps. He looked a little lonely, so I rounded, stepping outside.

"Hey." I murmured as I settled beside him.

"Hi, princess." He replied, smiling a little over at me.

"How come you're out here?" I asked quietly, "I think it's safe to go back inside."

"Better safe than sorry." He smiled again, "Blood still gets to me. Besides. It seemed like a family thing, so I figured I'd help keep it safe out here."

"You don't think you're family?" I asked, and he glanced over, "And blood gets to everyone. Not just you."

"I'd really rather not risk it." He shook his head, "I have too much to lose to let myself go crazy over a drop of blood left unchecked, because I know I'd be the one to find it."

"It's okay." I said, "It's okay if you want to stay out here." He was being smart. I couldn't blame him for that.

"How are you doing, princess?" He asked, and I looked down.

"I don't even really know." I sighed, "Kinda all over the place right now."

"I know that feeling." He nodded a little.

"Right now, I think I'm okay." I went on, "But I don't know about later."

"Princess, I'm so sorry I wasn't here." He finally looked over, "I should have been here."

"No." I said, "You were right where you should have been. If you'd have been here, you probably would have done something or said something to piss him off, and today could have ended up a lot different. He was nice to Esme, because I think he likes her, but you.."

He frowned a little in confusion, "That was nice?"

"That was nice." I confirmed, "That was his version of nice, I guess. I've seen it before. When he's like that, he's not really out to hurt. At least not seriously. Maybe a smack around here or there, but when he's like that, he likes to try to confuse you."

"He hurt you pretty bad." He grumbled, obviously not happy.

"I don't think he meant to." I replied, "He used to hit me like that all the time, so I think maybe he forgot for a second that he can't do that anymore. If he really wanted to hurt me, it would have been a whole lot worse."

He sighed, "True." He shook his head, "But you said he confuses you?"

I nodded, "He tries to confuse you. He wants you to think that he's actually not being the bad one, but you are. He does things and he says things.. He turns things around in a way that makes you almost believe it. Then it's not even so much about him anymore, but you're more fighting with yourself. He's really good at it."

"Do you think that's what he was doing to her today?"

"I know it." I replied, "I've been there before, remember? So many times, but.. I've never seen him do it to someone else before. At least not that I can really remember, and I've never seen someone.. Someone stay so strong before."

"He's not that strong."

"Not him." I said, "Her. Esme. She wouldn't give in no matter what. She did what he said, yeah, but that's different. Doing what he said and giving in are two different things. She was really amazing. I was too scared to see that then, but now I do. You should have seen her."

He nodded a little.

"He really likes to get in your head." I mumbled, "No matter how much you think he won't, he will. It's like.. Because you don't think he will, that makes it easier for him to, but if you go ahead and think he will, it's just as easy for him. He'll find a way. He always does, and what he said today just makes me think that even more. He's gonna come back. He just needs more time, I think. Right now, he's not okay with the others coming back yet, but he will be. I'm worried about what'll happen when it's not just a test anymore."

I paused for a breath.

"And then there's the whole thing of who he'll tell." I went on, "I've said it before, but.. What if nothing changed because nothing's changed? It might not be Irina that goes to Aro this time. What if it's him?"

"Don't worry about that right now." He finally said, "I know you're worried, but at least for right now, don't worry about it."

"I can't help it." I mumbled, "I just.." I trailed off, falling silent as I looked across the yard. Spotting someone there that Edward wouldn't be very happy to see.

"Jacob." I greeted tensely.

"Anyone care to fill me in?" He asked, crossing the yard to stand below the porch.

"Everything went fine." I replied, "Bella's still sleeping, but she's fine. Everyone else is inside." I bit my lip nervously as Jacob stepped around me, heading up onto the porch. Glancing over at Mikah, I knew he knew what I was nervous about.

Mikah stood up first, helping me to my feet and together, we turned for the door as well.

Rosalie was the one holding the bundle of blanket this time, and we stepped in in time to see her crossing the room toward us, toward Emmett next to us. I was assuming that Jacob had yet to actually look at the baby in the blanket bundle, as he was still in one piece and Edward was leading him upstairs. Probably to confirm that Bella was fine.

Looking over, I saw that Mikah was looking at Ness. Seeing her for the first time. I waited, watching him for any sign that he'd found that drop of blood he'd been worried about, but he seemed too distracted.

"Her scent.." Mikah laughed a little, "It's the weirdest thing."

"You'll get used to it." I laughed as well. I looked to Rosalie, "Did he see her?"

"I don't think so." She replied, "He wasn't too interested in her yet, but I know Edward's not going to take it well if that's still the same too. Hell, I won't."

"I don't think it's anything bad." I said, "I mean.. Who wouldn't want just a little bit more protection for her? That's all he'll want."

"Well," Rose sniffed, "He can stuff it." I laughed again, reaching over and gently taking Ness's hand in my fingers. She was warmer than I remembered Kaylee being when I first met her. Her hand closed around my pointer finger, and though it did ache a little, she wasn't even really trying. Until she looked at me.

She growled again, scowling in a pouty sort of way.

"So dangerous." I picked on her. She stopped after a few seconds more, watching me in what I could tell was interest. Like she noticed I was the only one different in the group standing around her.

"Hey." I looked over at the door at the arrival of someone new. I recognized his appearance as one of the wolves, and he definitely seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place his name.

"Hey, Seth." Emmett replied, answering that unspoken question.

"Jake upstairs?" Seth asked, though I had a feeling he already knew.

"Yup." I answered instead, "Checking on Bella."

"So it went well?" He asked, stepping a little further inside.

"See for yourself." I assumed it was okay for Seth to see the baby, considering they greeted him warmer than they greeted Jacob. That seemed to take his attention, and he peered over my shoulder at the bundle in Rosalie's arm.

"Oh." He smiled instantly, "Look at her. She looks just like them." I assumed it was a good thing that he approved. She growled at him next, and he laughed, "I take it she doesn't like me?"

"She growls at me too." I assured him, "She's not used to scents different from her, I guess."

"Will she bite?" He asked.

"Maybe." I replied, "I know she'd bite me if I let her, but she can't turn anybody."

"Really?" Seth asked, surprised.

"Nope." I said, and I realized I'd never told them that before. I'd actually forgotten to mention that little detail.

"She's isn't venomous?" Rose asked, and I shook my head.

"It's only the boys that can turn people." I replied, "So even if she did bite me, it'd hurt, but that's it."

"Prove it." Seth joked, and I laughed a little. Without waiting, I put my finger right by Ness' lips. He pulled my hand back just in time, Ness' teeth closing in the space my finger had been. He laughed, "I was kidding. I don't think it'd be a good idea to let anything bite you right now. Not with this many vampires around."

"Good point." I replied, but Ness was pissed now. Her brief wailing, irritated cry instantly had us surrounded. Mikah led me out of the way as Esme moved forward to look at Ness.

"She's alright." Rosalie laughed a little, "Just frustrated. I think she's hungry."

"You mean thirsty?" I asked.

"That too." She laughed again. I'd never heard Rosalie laugh so much in my life. I had a feeling that something about the little creature in her arm might be the cause of that.

"She's just mad that I won't let her bite me." I said, "Either that, or she really does hate me."

"Is she okay?" Even Edward had come downstairs. Luckily, in his hand was exactly what Ness wanted. The familiar bottle of blood. In his other hand was a bottle of plain formula. No doubt he wanted to try both, because one was far easier to get than the other.

"Wow." I muttered, "She's gonna have to teach me how to make that noise, then maybe everyone will come running at me. She's been alive for five minutes, and already she's spoiled."

Mikah chuckled, shaking his head. He knew I was joking.

"Let me see this thing." Jacob had followed.

"Uh-oh." I muttered, turning away and moving to Mikah's other side, closer to the door.

"She's just a baby, Jake." Seth offered, obviously not understanding what my nervousness was all about.

"Jacob," Edward spoke up, "Hold on." Before he could get close enough to see her, Edward moved him back.

"I don't think warning him is gonna help." I mumbled, only gaining a glance.

"Warning him about what?" Seth asked.

"You'll see." I replied, but allowed Mikah to turn and lead us outside. I got the hint that it'd probably be better if there were few others in the room in case Edward had to rip his head off.

Emmett followed us this time, along with Jasper and Alice. Mostly clearing out the room, which probably only made Jacob nervous. I, however, couldn't stop looking at Seth. He was familiar, that much was clear. So why did it seem harder to remember him than Jacob? And why hadn't he been around more often?

I shook it off as the change in events this time around.

Looking up, however, I couldn't see Dess' coven anywhere. I frowned, looking around the empty yard. It bothered me that they weren't there. Even the ones on the roof were gone.

"What are you looking for, shorty?" Emmett noticed how preoccupied I was.

"Where are all the others?" I asked, "Dess and all them? Why aren't they still here?"

"They tend to not like to stick around when there's more than one of us in the area." Seth explained sheepishly.

"What is it with you guys and them not wanting to be around you?" I asked, confused.

"They don't like to stick around things they don't really understand." Seth replied, "We're not something that's seen every day, and when we're loose in the area, it makes them uneasy."

"Neither am I." I countered, "I'm loose in the area all the time, but they're okay with being around me."

"You're human." Mikah explained.

"And you don't pose much of a threat, shorty." Emmett added.

"I just don't get how they aren't afraid of Jack," I mumbled, "But they're afraid of someone like Seth."

"Is that a compliment?" Seth asked, confused as well.

"I'm not sure." I admitted, "We'll just say yes."

"Rules." I jumped a little, turning back to look at the door as Edward shoved Jacob outside. Emmett pulled me out of the way just as Jacob stumbled passed me, barely stopping in time to keep from falling off the steps. Edward went on at him, "You may be around, but if at any time I become tired of your presence, that'll change."

"How's that fair?"

Edward's expression darkened, and I had actual trouble keeping my laugh back.

"Okay." Jacob agreed, no doubt listening to the silent warning in Edward's expression, "Whatever you say."

"It happened, didn't it?" I asked, and Edward glanced to me.

"Unfortunately."

"What happened?" Seth asked.

"He imprinted." I answered, "On Ness."

"What?" Seth asked, grinning, "How cool."

"Far from it." Edward grumbled.

I finally got my look at the bruise across my face a short while later. I was finally brave enough to look. It was almost easy, while living with my family, to forget how easy it would be for them to injure me. Seeing the proof in front of me, the reflection of my face pale aside from the darkened bruise spread across my left cheek, it was a startling reminder.

Beginning at the top of my cheekbone, just under my temple, the bruising crawled downward, nearly reaching my jaw before deciding to move further over my cheek and darkening my left eye. Like an odd, very dark purple mask that only centered in that area.

It actually surprised me that I walked away with only a mild concussion, and suddenly, everyone's concern and my temporary debilitating dizziness made a whole lot of sense. I hadn't had a bruise this bad with them yet, and I knew it'd be weeks before it was gone.

I shuddered to think what my ribs must look like, because that had actually hurt more than getting hit in the face. My face did ache, but nothing like my ribs did.

"Dammit." I whined a little, leaning closer to get a better look. Habit, I guessed, to inspect it just to consider all the ways I'd have to hide it.

Having left the bathroom door open, I wasn't surprised to glance over and see Mikah there. His expression was deeply saddened, but with a hint of trying to hide it.

"You should keep ice on that." He murmured and I sighed, looking to my reflection again.

"The ice didn't help earlier." I mumbled, "Why would it matter now?"

"It'll help." He assured me, "Come on, princess."

I sighed again, and turned away from the mirror. Leaving the room, turning off the light behind me. I followed him to the kitchen. Everyone else seemed distracted by talking about Bella and the baby, so it was just us, but I didn't really mind that.

He rounded the counter, moving for the freezer as I sat down. I watched him preparing the cold pack for me, and I couldn't help noticing that he still seemed pretty distracted.

"You okay?" I asked, and he glanced up.

"Yeah." He replied, "I'm fine."

"No you're not." I muttered, and he smiled a little, but the smile was far from happy.

"I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Is it almost time to visit the spot again?" I asked, referring to the spot he'd taken me awhile back.

"Something like that." He replied, rounding the counter again. Taking the seat next to me, he gently pressed the ice pack to my cheek, holding it there until I reached up and held it for him.

"What are you thinking about so much?" I asked quietly, "Maybe I can help."

"Well.." He sighed, "I know it's stupid, but I've been stuck on something you mentioned about last time." I waited, "It doesn't make any sense to me."

"What?" I asked.

"How could I ever, _ever_ even consider working for Aro?"

I smiled a little, "It was because you knew by then that turning him down would be stupid. All you had to do was watch me anyway. I don't really know how long you'd been with him before he had you watch me, but I know that it was pretty easy for you to choose us."

"Why would he need you to be watched?" He asked, frowning a little.

"Because even though I wasn't with him," I answered, "He still thought of me like I was his property. He thought the things I got up to weren't very good for me, and he might have been right, but.. I guess I wanted to do the things I wouldn't get to do when he had me, so when I first met you, it was because he told you to keep me from doing those things anymore."

"What kind of things?" He asked, a small smirk on his face.

"Uh.." I muttered, looking down with a small laugh, "Lots of things."

"I'm assuming that these things wouldn't be approved of." He observed, and I immediately shook my head.

"I got away with a lot." I explained, "Because I was always with the boys.. Josh and Zack back then. So it wasn't that you wanted to work for Aro. You just knew you had no choice."

"And I had to stay there to watch you," He murmured, trying to understand, "Until you were sixteen?"

"Yeah." I replied, "And I guess you got comfortable here, because when Aro finally did take me, you stuck around here since he wouldn't let you come with me."

"I see." He nodded a little, and I could see that helped him.

"Okay," I said, turning to face him a little more, "What else?"

"It's a little hard to explain, princess." He chuckled lightly, "And nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"I'll always concern myself with the stuff you concern yourself with." I admitted, pulling the ice pack away from my face and inspecting it, "Because most of the time you concern yourself with the stuff I concern myself with."

"Let me ask you something." He said thoughtfully as he stood up, "You mentioned that I stuck around last time." I nodded a little as he rounded the counter again, watching as he opened the freezer again and dug out an ice cream sandwich for me.

"Yeah." I answered, catching the sandwich he lightly slid across the counter to me.

"That means I pretty much watched you grow up." He pointed out.

"Sort of." I replied, fighting with the wrapper on my sandwich, "I didn't know you now-then, though, so it'll be different this time."

"Yeah," He agreed, letting the freezer door close, "But what I want to know is did that have anything to do with the way you met me now?"

"I think so." I muttered, keeping my eyes down on my task, "I just didn't remember it right away, and I thought since it wasn't a bad feeling I got from you, I didn't think it was such a bad thing to want to be around you so much." I hesitated, "I used to have a crush on you."

"You still do." He laughed a little, "You have for awhile now, and I've known it since it started."

"You did?"

"How could I not?" He asked, "But it's okay. It doesn't surprise me, and I think it's cute."

"You do?" I asked, glancing up with a small smile.

"I do." He laughed again, "Edward was worried about it for a minute, but I think he's okay now. He knows I have no plans to hurt you, and your crush has no effect on the way I feel about you."

"And how is that?" I suddenly wanted to know.

He smiled, "I feel very.. Protective of you. I know sometimes you just someone to be there as a friend, someone to vent to, to confide in, and I'm more than happy to be that person. It's easy to see how something like that could feed a crush, and I think that the fact that I genuinely care for you makes that okay. I think you sense that."

That was such a Mikah answer, and I really hadn't expected anything different. I was just glad to hear it from him.

"So.." I muttered, finally freeing my sandwich from the wrapper, "If that's how you feel, what's bothering you so bad?"

"I'm not really bothered," He replied, "Not by that. I've just been thinking a lot about this whole situation. The whole time I've been here, I've really gotten to see how much your family means to you, and just the thought that someday, you could be taken from it is something that I won't stand for."

"Aro?" I asked and he nodded.

"So if it were to come down to it, I promise I'll do everything I can to keep that from happening." He said, "Everything I possibly can do, because you truly deserve better than that."

"It's not your job to do that."

"But it is." He argued quietly, "I've taken it upon myself to protect you, and what happened today proved that I haven't been doing my job right, so I need to step it up."

"Not you too." I sighed, giving him a look.

"I know," He smirked sadly, "But it's true."

"Jack was _waiting_ for you to leave." I reasoned, "You could only go so long without hunting. Waiting any longer would have been stupid."

"See," He said, "That part doesn't matter to me. I don't think about it like that. What matters to me is the fact that you needed me to be here, and I wasn't. In my mind, that says that I need to do more."

"You do plenty." I countered, "It's not up to you to try to make sure _nothing_ ever happens to me. You do more for me than I could ever repay you for already."

In all the talking, I'd forgotten about the ice cream sandwich in my hand, so I defiantly licked up the side of it before it could melt too much, and he laughed.

"So tell me more about last time." He suggested, changing the subject a little, "What was I like?"

"You got me into trouble." I muttered, "For all the things I was doing. You made me tell them everything."

"Good." He replied, "I don't regret that in the least. If the family wouldn't approve of them, I know I wouldn't approve of them."

"You were.." I went on, but I hesitated, thinking about it, "Not really meaner, but.. More like tougher, but then again, I wasn't very nice to you either. Mostly because I knew I didn't need a babysitter."

"It doesn't sound like it to me." He chuckled, "If you were getting yourself into trouble, maybe a babysitter was exactly what you needed. Maybe not for Aro's benefit, but for your own."

"You sort of made up for it when I was older." I mumbled quietly, shrugging a little, "You weren't so bad once I got to know you."

"When you were sixteen?" He asked, and I nodded.

"You were there for me a lot."

"That sounds more like me." He smiled and I looked down. Focusing more on my ice cream than anything, picking off the outside. He noticed, "What is it?"

"It's just hard." I admitted, "Thinking about then. I don't even know how to describe it. It's weird. It's like.. Thinking about then, it wasn't _all_ bad. It was hard, yeah, but I still had a lot going for me then, you know? It was like a whole other life I lived, and I miss _all_ the people in it, but then I know that I have everyone here too. It's confusing."

"That does sound confusing." He allowed.

"There are some things I never want to go through again," I went on, "But there are others I'd give anything to see and do again. People I know now, and remembering the ways that they changed then while knowing they won't ever change that way this time."

"You're thinking about Josh?"

"Sort of." I sighed.

"Never say never, princess." He said, "Sure, he probably won't be the same as he was last time, but maybe it's for the better. What was it you told Jacob the other day?"

"Uhm.." I trailed off, thinking about it.

"You told him that just because something is different, it doesn't make it bad." He murmured, "If you want something like that again when you're older, there's nothing set in stone saying you can't reach for it."

I sighed, shaking my head, "It's too different now."

"I just want you to be happy." He replied, "And I can see that thinking about these things isn't making you happy. All I'm saying is things can always change. Don't bum yourself out yet, princess."

I didn't exactly feel better about it, but his effort was enough. I smiled a little at his tone, and he returned it before gesturing to the sandwich in my hand.

"You're dripping."

I looked down at the counter, and noticed he was right.

"Crap." I laughed. He chuckled as well, handing me a paper towel, "I can never eat these things fast enough."

"The point is, princess, you've got your whole life ahead of you this time." He murmured, "We're all looking for that moment when we can say our lives are fulfilled, and you have so much time to worry about that later. For now, just keep it to one thing at time."

I nodded a little, understanding what he was saying.

"I think you're just cooped up." He observed, leaning on the counter, "But I don't think they'll let me steal you away again."

"It's okay." I sighed, wiping off my hand, "I think I just need things to stop happening all at once."

"Well, things should start settling down now." He replied, "We can always hope, anyway."

Surprisingly, I was awake way passed my usual bedtime that night. Despite the busy day I'd had, I wanted to stay up. I stayed up as long as I could, though, until I eventually fell asleep in the living room. I felt better out here with everyone else, despite the couch still not being any more comfortable than it had been weeks before.

It didn't surprise me to feel myself lifted, and I had no doubts I was being carried to bed. As much as I wanted to stay, I wasn't going to protest to being able to get more comfortable.

I also wasn't surprised when I was up only a few hours later. My dreams ensured that. They weren't a good place anymore, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why I was suddenly awake in sobbing tears.

Thankfully, Esme didn't seem too busy with the baby to be there for me. She was right there when I needed her, and I certainly didn't miss Mikah standing in the doorway.

I didn't just cry about the dreams this time. I cried because I was frustrated. I thought I'd been passed this. I should have been over it. I shouldn't be crying over something so stupid anymore, but the worst part of it was that I couldn't help it.

It wasn't just what happened today that kept my tears going, though that was a very large part of it. It wasn't just seeing what I saw today. It was hearing his voice. Seeing him again, having that reminder right in front of me that had shaken something loose in my mind. The memories of my past forcing themselves forward just when I thought I'd dealt with them.

Things I thought I'd handled and moved on from. Things I thought I'd forgotten. The ache returned, and there was no medicine for this. No cure. There was nothing I could take or do to ease this pain.

"Aw, princess.." Mikah murmured sadly when my tears started again just when they'd begun to calm down. It obviously bothered him to see me like this, and I couldn't blame him, but even that couldn't make it stop.

"I thought I was better.." I sobbed breathlessly into Esme's shoulder, shaking my head, "B-But it never stops."

"I know." She replied quietly, trying to ease me by smoothing my hair, but it really wasn't doing much.

Unfortunately for me, even the fear of my dreams couldn't keep me awake after the day I'd had. I had to sleep.

Thankfully, the next time I woke up only about an hour later, it was easier on me. I didn't cry much this time, only sitting up in my bed as I tried to shake off that particular dream. Hardly a few tears escaped as I caught my breath.

I sighed, looking over at Esme, "Maybe I should wait to try again."

"You need your rest." She pointed out, concerned.

"Laying down hurts more anyway." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"Why didn't you say something?" She asked.

"Because I knew you'd try to give me something for the pain." I replied, "I don't want anything."

"An injury like that isn't something you should be stubborn about, princess." Mikah murmured back by the door.

"I've had worse." I pointed out, "This is nothing."

He scoffed, "Nothing?"

"When the pain I felt for just breathing made me dizzy, yeah." I muttered, "This is nothing." He frowned, as if not understanding, so I looked over at Esme, "He doesn't know how bad it used to be?"

"I think he underestimates, sweetheart." She reasoned, "We've never shown him the copy of the pictures." The evidence collected when I was first looked over at the hospital.

"You still have them?" I asked, surprised but not upset.

"We've held onto them." She confirmed.

"Can I see them?" I asked, already moving to get out of bed.

"I really don't know if that's a good idea." She replied, but she stood up to help me up, "Honey, if you're already having nightmares-"

"If they're mine, I want to see them." I said, "Please?" For the oddest reasons, I really wanted to see them. Curiosity, maybe? I'd never really had a clear look at my back, just my front and even that was hard to see.

She sighed, "If you're sure." I nodded immediately, sitting back down on the side of my bed, "I'll go get them." She seemed like she really didn't want to do this, but she would because she seemed to sense that this was something I really wanted. I nodded again, watching as she headed for the door.

As soon as she was gone, I reached down and carefully lifted my shirt up over my head. Dropping it to the side, I got started on removing the thick wrapping around me.

"What are you doing?" Mikah asked. It was hard for me to reach the edge of it. It was tucked around my side, under my arm, so I looked over.

"Help me with this?" I requested quietly, "I think it's making it hurt more."

He shook his head but came closer. Kneeling beside the bed, he reached out and gently loosened the bandage along my side, releasing the tension of the rest of it. I took a breath, relieved. I kept my arm up as he carefully gathered it, slowly unwrapping it further for me.

I watched him, unsure where else to look until he finally pulled the wad of bandage away.

"How bad?" I hesitantly asked, still too nervous to look at it myself.

"It's.." He trailed off, taking a breath and shaking his head. Hesitantly, I looked down. I was instantly relieved to see that it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. It wasn't good, of course, but it wasn't _that_ bad.

The bruising was about as dark as the bruising on my face, centered over my ribs on my left side and crawling over my stomach a ways before fading away. Spreading in both directions before fading away as well.

"It's not that bad." I answered my own question, sighing as I finally let my arm down. Setting the bandage wad to the side, he reached for my shirt. It hurt more at first, having the bruise free, but when it started to dull, I knew I'd made the right choice.

Without a word about it, Mikah carefully righted and gathered my shirt in his hands. Pulling it over my head again, and I took the hint. Pulling it on further. What bothered me was how quiet he was. He wasn't happy, that much was clear, but he wasn't saying anything.

"Thank you." I told him, and he gave a nod. Standing, he turned around and slowly sat down beside me. I wouldn't push him, though. I knew what was wrong. His opinion of 'nothing' and mine were two totally different things, but I knew he'd see where I was coming from. I doubted he'd leave my side before he got a good look at those pictures.

Not surprisingly, Mikah didn't take seeing the pictures that well. For someone so protective of me, seeing me with those kinds of marks all over me, it had to grate on his patience in a horrifying way. Without a word about it, he left the room, but I was still too interested in the pictures to follow him.

The one of my back, particularly. There were no beginnings to these bruises. No ends. My entire back discolored, but darker points in strips that pointed out each and every hit. Curling around my sides and my shoulders, marring my upper arms. How scrawny I was really stuck out to me as well. That was one thing I'd nearly forgotten, because I'd never really noticed.

I didn't know what to say, so I sat quietly, slowly flipping through the pictures. I'd put on a bit of weight since these pictures were taken, which was a very needed thing. I hadn't even realized before just how small and skinny I was. It had been normal to me.

I remembered the pain clearly, but everything else had just turned into a blur. I'd certainly changed a whole lot without even noticing. It really was like looking at a whole different person. It amazed me into silence just how hard they'd worked to carefully bring me from the person in these pictures to what I was now.

It also stuck out to me how far Jack had gone to release his anger on someone like me. Of course, I remembered going through it, but seeing the proof in front of me really made me see exactly what they were getting at back then. The effort, how hard he tried on me.

"Wow." I finally mumbled almost silently. I was speechless.

"We've kept these." Esme murmured, "In case a day came when you wanted to see them. Of course we were hoping it'd be a little further down the line."

"I'm glad you did." I admitted, glancing over at her, "I never noticed just _how_ small I was, so I guess it was a good thing that Alice did notice."

"It was impossible for her not to notice, Leandra." She replied quietly, "You were _so_ far behind."

"I don't know what I was thinking." I muttered, looking back down at the picture in my hands, "This seems so much worse than I remember."

"Because you were used to it." She explained, "I'm not surprised it didn't seem as bad to you, because you were the one having to experience it. You didn't have the chance to see yourself the way others saw you." Now I did. That made sense, so I nodded a little.

I sighed, giving a glance around, "Where'd Mikah go?"

"Emmett's talking to him." She assured me, and I nodded again. I looked back down, flipping to the next picture in the stack. I suddenly thought of something to ask her.

"How'd you do it?" I asked, looking over at her again, "Today, with Jack.. You weren't scared at all."

She smiled sadly, reaching over and smoothing my hair, "I couldn't afford to be."

"What do you mean?"

"Knowing he had a hold of me," She explained, "Meant he couldn't have a hold of you. I would have taken your place a million times before I let him have you. I always will. You mean more to me than anything, Leandra, and I'll do anything to keep you safe.

"He hit you, and I just reacted. I'll admit, I was a little hasty and it was my moving that upset everyone else, but I wasn't going to stop to think about it. I didn't have it in me to stop long enough to be afraid." I stayed quiet, "When he kicked you, I really realized what it was I was dealing with, and though it was bad, he still had a hold of me. I knew I could take his anger. I could handle it. I wasn't prepared to see what would happen to you in his hands."

And there it was. A whole new side of her I'd never even considered. Edward had mentioned awhile back that the way she loved left no choice in protecting what she loved. At all costs. I'd always looked up to her, but now it was different.

"How can I be brave like you?" I asked after a moment of thought. She smiled a little again.

"You're perfect the way you are." She replied, "You were plenty fearless too." I shook my head a little but she argued, "You were. Sweetie, being fearless or brave doesn't mean not feeling any fear. It means doing what you think is right despite being terrified."

Oh. That changed my whole perspective of the entire situation, because I hadn't thought of that. I hesitated, before speaking.

"Do you think I could be like that again?" I asked, "When he comes back?"

"If he does come back," She replied, "You won't have to be."

I smiled a little, but I didn't believe her. I had a feeling I'd have no choice but to be brave again soon. Instead of arguing, though, I looked back down. Taking one last look, I reached over. Handing back the pictures.

She gently stacked them as she looked over at me, "How are you feeling?"

I knew why she'd ask.

"I'm not sure." I replied, "I'm glad I got to see those, but I don't think Mikah feels the same way."

"He'll be okay." She said, "It was just difficult for him." I could understand that, but I still hated to think about him upset. Standing up, I glanced over as Esme stood as well to follow me. She knew right where I was going.

I knew Mikah well enough to know that no matter how upset he was, he wouldn't go far, and I was right. He sat on the bench out on the porch, more tense than I'd ever seen him, and as I approached, he watched me. Emmett looked back from where he stood talking to him.

"Shorty, I wouldn't." Emmett muttered, but I ignored that. Stepping forward without hesitation and hugging Mikah easily. I knew full well that I needed to stop doing that, but I couldn't help it this time.

I wouldn't try to tell him that it was okay, because both he and I knew better. It was far from okay, but I didn't know what else to do to calm him down.

The relief I felt when I felt him sigh out, and return my hug was heavy. He must have been holding that breath for awhile, as I often did when I was angry. He wasn't mad at me. He was mad at the pictures and what they showed him.

I pulled back after a minute or two, looking at him and giving a small smile, which only grew as he reluctantly returned it. He didn't want to smile, that was clear, but mine left him little choice.

I stepped back further before I spoke, "It's okay now."

"You weren't kidding." He finally murmured, "That really is nothing compared to what you've had."

"I told you." I replied, "I'm tougher than that, you know."

"But you know that any bruise at all is a bruise too much." He stood up, "I know it's not what you want to hear, but if he ever crosses my path, he's dead."

I took a breath, looking down.

"I can't really blame you, I guess." I said, sighing, "You're gonna do what you're gonna do, but I wish you wouldn't." He gave me a look, telling me silently that it really didn't matter. That he would do what he would do.

I finally got more of an hour of sleep the next time I tried, which was a massive relief. I wasn't sure if it was because of the pictures I saw, but I wasn't asking.

I was awake in time to witness the first time Ness made her gift known early the following morning. Up until then, she'd been wrapped securely in that blanket, and hadn't really had a chance to. Now she was free.

Rosalie had brought her into the kitchen with Esme and I, and I looked over at Ness as Rose approached with her. It was becoming clear to me that in only the few hours she was born, Ness was learning. She knew enough to understand that I was different.

Whimpering a little, Ness seemed confused and reached up. The second she was within reach, she plopped her hand right against Rosalie's cheek in a hurry. Patting her tiny hand impatiently on her cheek. Rosalie's surprise as she pulled her head back nearly made me choke in laughter.

"Yeah." I muttered into my cereal, "She has a gift." I thought this would be common knowledge by now? Maybe Edward hadn't mentioned it yet.

"What was that?" Rosalie asked me.

"She can show you things." I said, "Her thoughts or whatever she wants you to see. If you let her."

At Ness' insistence, Rosalie looked back down at her, and she replaced her hand on her cheek. Once Ness pulled her hand back with a frown and glance at me, Rosalie seemed to take a moment to figure out what she wanted.

"Just explain to her." I said, "She understands things. She can't talk yet, so this is her way of talking to you." Rose still seemed puzzled so I set my spoon down and turned a little in my chair to look at Ness, "I'm different than everyone else. I'm human. I know I smell like food to you, but you can't eat me."

In Rosalie's arms, Ness reached out to me, her hand outstretched. I leaned forward, allowing the contact. Her thoughts of her opinion of me were questioning, obviously confused. She wanted to understand, but it was still a little difficult for her.

"Because I live here." I answered her when I leaned back a little, "It's not very nice to eat people that live here. If you want to bite someone, bite Jacob. He won't care."

"Oh, thanks." I glanced over at Jacob's reply, and I noticed we now had an audience. Everyone else was clearly curious, including Edward who now stood closest. I knew he knew about it, but the fine details were something I never had a chance to go through.

That got a laugh out of Rosalie.

"She doesn't have venom." I told him, "So you're the perfect chew toy, because it would hurt me more than it would hurt you."

"This is true." Jacob replied, obviously accepting that.

My attention was taken by Ness reaching for me again, so I leaned forward once more until she could reach me. She was insistent with placing her hand, but she seemed to understand that she couldn't smack me like she could smack Rosalie, which told me she was learning. She pressed her palm gently against my bruised cheek, as if she knew to be careful.

Her thoughts this time focused on a connection between how I was talking to her now and how she recalled my voice before she was born. Very muffled, but clearly the same. She wanted confirmation that what she observed was right.

"Yeah." I told her, "That was me. I was trying to help Bella." I didn't want to tell her that it was her making Bella's life hard, so I left that out. With a sigh, she pulled her hand back, seeming to process that, but she seemed satisfied for now.

I looked to the others, "When she 'talks' to you like this, you have to pay attention until she learns how to word things better, or you might miss what she wants to know or what she's telling you. For now it's just things she's seen, with.. Sort of a question in there. I don't know how to explain it. It's like the opposite of what Edward can do. Instead of reading other people's minds, Ness shows you what's on hers."

Once more, she reached up for Rosalie, who wasted no time in allowing the contact this time. It took maybe a few seconds before Ness' hand dropped and she whined.

"She's thirsty." Rose smiled a little, and turned. Edward patted my shoulder appreciatively as he moved to follow her and I smiled a little at him. It seemed to me that Ness was still learning her gift herself, but I knew it wouldn't take her long at all to associate her gift with getting what she wanted.

With a small smile, I turned back to my cereal.

I saw Bella again later that day, and though she still looked tired, and she slept more than she was awake, I knew she had to feel better. I didn't remember being like that, though, and that was a little concerning. I remembered the only thing mattering to me was Isaiah and spending as much time with him as I could. I was up the same day. As up as I could be, anyway.

Maybe this whole thing took more out of her than it'd taken out of me. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that Bella wasn't concerned about having to leave at any time like I'd been.

Just as I'd predicted, Ness was doing great on her own. Growing about a month every day, and I knew they didn't quite believe me when I told them that that growth would stop when she was about eighteen or nineteen physically. When she outgrew clothing sizes in only a few hours, almost twice as fast when she slept, it certainly kept everyone concerned.

I'd overheard a conversation, about four days after Ness was born, that worried me. They were talking about turning Bella anyway because she wasn't getting any better. It wasn't just about how tired she was, and I knew that now. She was sick, and nothing they were trying was helping her.

I wasn't exactly against Bella being turned, especially if it helped her feel better, but I was worried about where I'd go until they figured out that she could control herself. I'd originally thought that getting her through it human would spare me for at least a little while, but it seemed I was wrong.

"I'm going somewhere else, aren't I?" I asked during a pause in Edward and Carlisle's conversation, and they both looked over at me.

"If it comes down to it," Carlisle replied, "I think that would be safest."

"Until we know for sure that you'll be safe." Edward added quietly.

"Where would I go?" I wanted to know. I really wasn't okay with getting sent to Alaska, as that was just too far away for my taste.

"Noted." Edward replied to my unspoken preference, "We'll find somewhere for you to stay temporarily. In the meantime, we can just hope that she'll get through this on her own." I nodded a little, but I wasn't comforted, and I was right not to be.

I wasn't allowed to see her that night, and I knew things were just getting worse for her. Just the next morning I was informed that I'd be heading to Heather's house this weekend. As against that as I knew I should be, I was okay with that.

I wouldn't be going right away, but they'd wait a day or two before having to drop me off there. Just to give me the most amount of direct protection as they could, but bottom line, I wouldn't want to be here when Bella woke up. Just in case.

It was all happening so quick, but with the heads up I'd gotten, it was tolerable. The night before I was set to be taken to Heather's, I sat with the family. Edward was upstairs with Bella, and considering I hadn't seen him for over a day, I knew it'd already started.

"I'm sorry." I muttered in the silence around the room, "I know it would have been good if she made it human. Maybe I just forgot to say something.."

"This isn't your fault, Leandra." Carlisle replied quietly, "It's just something that couldn't have been anticipated."

"But she's sick."

"The final moments of her pregnancy took a lot out of her." Carlisle explained, "It cost her more than we thought, and had that much not been taken out of her, she'd have no issue fighting the infection, but she just didn't have the strength she needed."

"Oh." I mumbled, "It was an infection?"

"It seems so." He replied, "Although I'm positive we thoroughly sterilized the area more than effectively."

"I thought she was sick with what I had before." I admitted, and he immediately shook his head, and that was a little bit of a relief.

"No." He said, "Sometimes these things just happen, Leandra. No amount of preparation or preventive measures can help in those cases." I nodded, sighing.

"You're positive you'd be alright at Heather's?" He asked me for the third time.

"I'm okay with it." I answered, "It's not as far away as Alaska, and I'm used to it there. It's a good idea, even if Jack doesn't want me there." He nodded this time, seeming relieved by my answer.

"What about your dad's?" Emmett asked, and I immediately shook my head.

"I think Heather is more my family than he is." I admitted, looking over at him, "As weird as it is to say. I'm more okay with her than I would be with him, even if he is my dad. Besides. I know Heather has the room, because I've been there before. I am going to miss it here, though."

"It's only temporary." Carlisle replied.

"I know." I mumbled, "But I'll still miss it. I missed it here last time, too."

"Then why'd you stay gone so long?" Emmett asked.

"You know why." I answered, "Because I thought I was doing everyone a favor. I just wanted to do the right thing. Or what I thought was the right thing."

"You know we'd rather have had you home." Emmett gave me a look.

"I know." I replied, "I would rather have been here too, but that doesn't change much now. If I have to go somewhere else, I'd rather go somewhere I've already been before. Just until you know that she'll be okay." I felt like I needed to let them know that I'd rather be here too.

The following day, Saturday, I was allowed to stay until just after lunch. Carlisle would be the one to drop me off, so I had to say goodbye to the others before we left the house. Despite knowing full well that this was just for now, it was still hard knowing I wouldn't be with them for awhile.

I couldn't help feeling nervous about this. I worried that it wouldn't be the same as before. I worried that she wouldn't have the same self-control as she had last time, and I worried that this could be a longer stay than I was prepared for. I knew I was worrying over nothing, that they wouldn't let me stay there for too long either way, but I couldn't help it.

It was hardest saying goodbye to both Mikah and Esme. Esme because I admired her so much, and Mikah because he was my best friend. I'd miss the others just as much, but I hated leaving them. I hated leaving them, but I went willingly, because I knew it was for a very good reason.

I hesitated in the car, sitting outside Heather's house.

"My stomach hurts." I admitted quietly, looking out the window, "I don't know why."

"I truly wish there was another way." Carlisle replied, and I shook my head.

"I know." I mumbled, "But there isn't. You just want to be safe. I do too." I hesitated before looking over at him, "But I am scared. What if Jack shows up here while you're all busy?"

"I doubt he will." He told me, "Not with Heather here."

"Heather sleeps." I pointed out, "Everyone does."

"Someone will be here." He countered, "The house will be watched." That helped. I hadn't known that before, so I took a breath and nodded. I believed him, but I also knew that if Jack wanted to find a way in, he would because everyone couldn't be here at once.

"Just.." I sighed, "Tell them to be careful. Please."

"They will be." He assured me, "They know what's at stake." Again, that helped.

After that, I was able to make it out of the car and walk with him up to Heather's front door. The afternoon was pretty dreary, despite it being pretty clear earlier in the day.

"Hi, honey." Heather greeted me with a smile, stepping back to let me into the house. Carlisle followed me closely as Heather greeted him as well.

"Thank you for watching her." Carlisle told her, "I know it's such short notice."

"She's welcome here any time." Heather replied, "I just hope she doesn't mind sharing her room with Hunter. As I was saying, he's a pretty good baby. Sleeps right through the night most of the time."

I didn't really feel like doing that, but I wouldn't complain yet.

"Leandra." I jumped at Zack's sudden excited arrival beside me, "Geez, it's been forever! Hey, what's wrong with your face?" Meaning, the bruise that was still healing.

"Zack." Heather scolded instantly.

"I ran into a tree." I replied to him, "What's wrong with yours?"

"Nothing." He frowned, confused.

"You sure? Because it's pretty messed up."

He suddenly understood, giving me a look, "Oh, ha. Funny." He got excited again, "Come look at what mom got me."

"A shameless bribe." Heather explained lightly to Carlisle, but Zack was already dragging me off toward the stairs. I nearly tripped twice on my way up the stairs, but managed to catch myself as he tugged me up the hall and into his and Josh's room.

We rounded the doorway to look at the aquarium still sitting there, Jerk the turtle's home. I leaned down and peered in through the glass at his instruction, spotting what he was talking about immediately.

"She got you another one?" I asked, looking over.

"Yeah." He laughed, "She said since I've been taking such good care of Jerk, that I could get him a friend. So far, Jerk hasn't been mean to him, so I think they'll be able to live together."

"That's cool." I replied, actually happy for him, "What's this one's name?" The second turtle seemed to be much smaller than Jerk was, so I could tell them apart rather easily.

"I named him Rex." He answered, "Mostly because Jerk was already taken."

"Why not Rover?" I suggested in a joke, but he looked over.

"That's actually a good idea." He laughed a little.

"So why'd Heather call him a bribe?"

"Because I was the only one who had a problem with Hunter." He replied easily, reaching into the aquarium to pick up the smaller turtle, "So she gave me Rex to shut me up about it."

Rex squirmed in his hand, flailing about in a mildly panicked way.

"Why'd you have a problem?" I asked, laughing as I held out my hands. I wondered if Rex would hate me like Jerk did.

"I didn't really." He laughed also, "I just wanted to get something out of the deal. It worked." He placed Rex in my hands, and given the way he didn't immediately curl up into his shell, I guessed not. At least not in the same way. It seemed all Rex wanted to do was get back to his cage.

"You're evil." I shook my head, but admired him for his honesty.

"I know." He grinned, and we both laughed again. He spoke again, "If you don't want to sleep in there with booger-baby, you can stay in here tonight. Josh is over at his friend's house for the night. Or we can sleep in the living room."

"I might take you up on that." I admitted, handing a now wildly struggling Rex back to him, "I don't really hate Hunter, but I don't like him yet either."

"Welcome to my world." He muttered, placing Rex back into the aquarium, "Have you noticed, though, how much he looks like Uncle Jack?"

"Uh." I replied, "That's because he's his son."

"I know." He rolled his eyes, "But it's creepy." I laughed.

"You look like your dad." I pointed out, "And I look like mine. Why's it creepy?"

"Because I haven't seen Uncle Jack in like a year. More than a year." He answered, "If nobody even knows where he is, why's he just dropping Hunter off here?"

"That's a good question." I mumbled, my tone flat.

"It's just weird to me." He shrugged, and we both fell silent as we watched the turtles again. Rex was now hiding in a hollowed out half-log. Jerk was currently on the complete other side of the aquarium, sitting with his hind-end floating in their water pond and trying to reach a lettuce leaf without having to move. Zack must have just given them a treat.

"It was my mom that dropped him off, anyway." I mumbled after a minute, "I don't think Jack had anything to do with that."

"Are you still my cousin?" He asked, looking over at me and I frowned a little.

"I don't think so." I replied, "Why?"

"How do you know?"

"Because my family adopted me." I said, "I'm not Jack's anymore."

"Oh." He muttered, nodding.

"I was never really your cousin, anyway." I went on, "Not by blood, remember?" He nodded again, but obviously still thinking.

"Why?" I asked again.

"Just wondering." He replied, "No reason. So how long are you staying?"

I shrugged this time, "A few days at least." What was with the twenty questions? I waved it off as curiosity.

"What are you going to do while we're at school?" He wondered, and I really hadn't thought of that, "You don't go to school, right?"

"I don't know." I answered, "Probably just hang out here, I guess." I suddenly got nervous. I really hadn't considered that. Both the boys went to school, and both Mike and Heather worked. I'd be here alone.

"Good thing mom's off work until next Monday." Zack pointed out, instantly relieving my worry, "You can keep her company."

"Good thing." I agreed, sighing heavily. Carlisle probably looked into that first thing. I was nervous enough being here without someone able to watch me.

We returned downstairs to find Carlisle now talking to Heather in the living room, Hunter seated on Heather's lap contentedly, inspecting a stuffed animal between his hands. He had to have been closer to a year old by then, which was surprising to consider.

"Mom," Zack spoke up during a pause, "Leandra's staying in my room tonight. Is that okay?"

"Sure." She replied, "If she'll be more comfortable in there, I don't see why not." I felt better. She wasn't upset that I didn't quite feel up to sharing a room with Hunter just yet, even though he was my half-brother. Heather spoke again, "When Josh gets home tomorrow, though, you guys are going to have to figure out another arrangement. You guys have school on Monday."

"We'll figure it out." He assured her as I hesitantly sat next to her. Hunter was watching me, which was why I hesitated, but I was curious. He hadn't changed much since I last saw him. His hair was maybe slightly longer, but that could have just been how messy it was.

I really hated when Carlisle had to leave, but I understood how important it was for him to be there when Bella woke up. Regardless, it still sucked.

"Don't forget about me, okay?" I requested as I stepped outside with him.

"Impossible." He replied, "I'll be checking in every day." As well as being watched. I nodded, appreciating that. I hesitated only slightly before I hugged him.

There was no way I'd have been as comfortable here as I was without spending those weeks here at the start of the summer. In a way, this was a second home. Forcing myself to try to adjust must have worked more than I thought it had.

Even with Hunter here, it was easy to get used to being here again. Hunter hung out with us until about nine or ten, which apparently was a little late for a baby to be awake, but we didn't mind him. He mostly kept to himself, watching TV as much as we were. The pacifier in his mouth keeping him quiet, thankfully.

Zack and I were awake until about eleven before heading up to bed. Everything had been pretty uneventful that night, and though I did miss home, I was pretty comfortable here as well.

I took my time in the bathroom that night after my shower, since Zack had already had his turn. Already dressed in my pajamas, brushing my teeth, I didn't even notice when the bathroom became occupied behind me to my left.

I thought I heard something, so I frowned a little and turned off the faucet, looking toward the bathroom door to my right.

"Princess." I yelped, jumping at Mikah's chuckle to my other side and nearly dropping my toothbrush. Sure enough, there Mikah stood in the bathtub, carefully moving the shower curtain out of the way.

"Geez." I muttered, "You scared me. How'd you get in here?"

"The window." He gestured over his shoulder at the window beside the tub.

"How'd you fit?" I frowned, "And how'd you reach it?"

"Not the point." He chuckled, "I came to check on you."

"I'm okay." I replied, rinsing off my toothbrush, "I miss home, but I'm okay here for now."

"Good." He smiled, "I'm glad you're okay. I was worried about you."

"Already?" I asked, laughing a little, "I just got here."

"There's no time limit for homesickness, princess."

"True." I sighed.

"Well," He said, "I just wanted to let you know that I'm one of the ones here to watch the place for tonight. Jasper is here too, and quite irritated with me."

"For being in here?" I guessed.

"Bingo." He chuckled again.

"Well, I'm glad you're here." I admitted, "So he can just cool it."

"I can't be in here for too long, princess." He smiled, "And I don't want to keep you long, but I had to let you know that you're okay, and the place is safe." I appreciated that more than he knew.

Before I could reply, though, he looked toward the door. Seconds later, I jumped at a knock.

"Leandra?" It was Heather, "Come on, honey. Get to bed." It was kind of late.

"Almost done." I called back, "Be out in a minute." I turned the faucet back on as a cover before looking to Mikah again. He smiled, and I couldn't help returning it.

"Good night, princess." He told me, almost too quietly for me to hear over the sound of the running water, "Sleep well."

"Night." I replied almost as quietly, turning off the water. He closed the shower curtain before I opened the door and shut off the light.

Zack was still up when I got to the room, thankfully having the light on so I could see where I was going as I crossed the room to pounce onto Josh's bed. Zack was busy looking at his turtles, so he didn't seem too impatient. Heather followed me into the room, shaking her head.

"You guys were up too late tonight." She laughed, but my thoughts were on Mikah. I loved that he broke the rules a bit to come and see me. Heather patted Zack's head, "Come on, kiddo. In bed."

Zack was one that didn't appreciate getting kissed by his mom for bed anymore, but I didn't mind it. She really didn't mind providing a quick kiss to my head, and it didn't seem like a lot to let her do it, considering I always felt comforted when she did that.

Before turning off the light, she double checked to make sure that the light over the turtle's aquarium was on. Probably habit, knowing how badly I hated the dark.

"Sweet dreams, guys." She smiled, turning off the lamp as I laid down.

It was silent for several minutes after she left, and I took that time to finally have a chance to think. Something had been bothering me all night, and until then, I'd waved it off as worry over the situation at home.

But really thinking about it, it wasn't only that, and I suddenly knew that. It was the memory of what happened last time. The memory of what happened last time when we were just a little bit older than we were now. Between Josh disappearing, and what Zack turned into.

Thinking rationally, there was no way he'd turn out like that now. He was too good of a person, but I also thought that same thing before. I fought with myself, knowing full well that none of what happened before would be happening this time.

For one, I wouldn't be the same person I was before. Ken wasn't around anymore, and there was no chance of Josh disappearing like that. It was the loss of Josh and Ken's influence that made Zack into what he was made into, but even knowing that, I also knew that the potential was there. That made me nervous.

I wasn't exactly afraid of him, but remembering what he'd done that day really made me wary.

"Leandra?" Zack ended the silence.

"Yeah?" I replied, keeping my eyes on the ceiling.

"Remember during the camping trip.." He started, "When I pushed you into the water?"

"Yeah." I grumbled, "I remember." I remembered perfectly.

"I'm sorry about that." He muttered, "I don't know why I was so mean to you."

"It's okay." I sighed, rolling over onto my side to face his bed across the room, "I wasn't very nice to you either, but you were just trying to be a brother, I think. Brothers are supposed to be mean to their sisters."

"You know why I asked you what I asked you earlier?" He asked, rolling over as well.

"About the cousin thing?" I asked and he nodded, "Why?"

"Because I'm pretty sure Josh likes you." He replied, and I looked down at the floor. That was exactly what I didn't want to hear. Especially considering how much thinking I'd been doing about the events of last time.

"Oh." I mumbled, "Well he shouldn't."

"Why shouldn't he?" I heard the frown in his tone, "If you're not-"

"Because he's my friend." I answered.

"So?" He asked, "Isn't it better to have a crush on someone that's already your friend? Half the work's already done."

"What work?"

"Of making them like you as at least a friend." He explained, "If you get a crush on someone you don't even know, it's twice as hard to figure it out than it would be if you get a crush on someone you already think of as a friend."

"Yeah," I allowed that, "But what if you get a crush on someone you think of as a friend, but that friend doesn't like you back?"

"That would suck," He replied, "But at least it'd be less embarrassing than it would be if some stranger said they didn't like you like that." Another solid point. I stayed quiet, "So are you saying you don't like Josh like that?"

"No.." I muttered, "I'm not saying that. I just.." I sighed, "I don't know what I'm saying." He seemed to accept that.

"Just don't tell him I told you." He requested, "He'd be a little mad at me."

"I won't." I mumbled, "Don't worry." Was he kidding? It'd be just as embarrassing for me to admit that I knew as it would be for Josh.

That little talk made it more than a little embarrassing for me to see Josh when he returned home the following morning. Just after breakfast, while Zack and I were seated in the living room, Josh walked through the door. He seemed to be in a hurry, jogging up the stairs with his overnight bag before he even noticed me sitting there.

I didn't really expect how I saw him to change, but it had. Like it had with Mikah, the way I saw him changed the moment I remembered what he was like in the vision. I could see him now, knowing how he'd look in two years' time, and unfortunately for me, the feelings I felt for him then had carried over to now.

I shook my head at that realization, frowning to myself. Those feelings were both unwanted, and very deeply confusing, considering I was two very big years older than I was right now.

To me, feeling this way was a bad thing even if it wasn't a bad feeling. It was about two steps above a crush, which I clearly knew the feeling of. I watched him as he ascended the stairs, not even noticing me watching him. I couldn't help it. After what I remembered of him, and what Zack told me the night before, it was impossible not to notice him more than I had before.

What the hell? I had to ask myself. What kinds of feelings were these? It made me dizzy and nervous at the same time. It was a feeling I felt in my stomach, my head, and my heart all at once. Like it was trying to squeeze the breath out of me, but in a not-unpleasant way.

"Stare, much?" Zack laughed from beside me, and I shook myself out of it. I hated the warmth I felt crawling over my cheeks as I shook my head.

"I've never seen him wear that shirt before." I muttered as an excuse, but the way he smiled told me he didn't believe me. He didn't comment on it.

Josh came back downstairs, and was just about to walk by again before he noticed me sitting there. He stopped mid-step, turned and walked into the living room.

"Hey." He greeted me with his usual smile, and I knew what it meant now. He was acting the way he normally acted. It was me that had changed.

"Hey." I managed to reply, "Surprise."

"She's here for a few days." Zack explained as Josh's presence was noted by Hunter. I watched Hunter crawl across the floor before pulling himself to stand up using Josh's pant-leg as leverage. I'd seen him stand on his own before, so that was mostly to get his attention.

"Cool." Josh replied, reaching down and lifting Hunter into his arms, "I guess that's what I get for being gone all day yesterday, huh?" He frowned a little, looking to Hunter, "You stink." Hunter grinned behind his pacifier.

"Mom's in the kitchen." Zack pointed out, knowing what was causing Hunter's particular odor.

"It wouldn't kill you to change a diaper or two." Josh told him, shaking his head.

"Yes it will." Zack replied, "I'm allergic to babies. Especially their poop."

"I thought I heard you." Heather walked in, "Did you have fun?"

"Not really." He sighed, handing Hunter over as Heather reached for him, "Same old. He's waiting outside while I 'ask' you if I can go to Tacoma for the day with him and his dad. I'm gonna go out there and tell him you said no."

"No," She said with a smile, "You can't go. Tell him I need to take you underwear shopping later." I had to laugh at that one.

"Thanks." He laughed, his tone only partially sarcastic, "I'll be right back." He turned for the door again, while Heather laughed and shook her head. Turning as well, carrying Hunter toward the stairs.

"So where am I sleeping tonight?" I had to wonder, looking over at Zack.

"I'm pretty sure mom would let you stay in our room again." Zack replied, "Just see if you can drag the spare mattress in, like all those times before." I hadn't thought about that, "We get up at like six, so I hope that doesn't bug you."

"Right." I said, "School."

"Hunter is usually up when we're up, so that wouldn't really make any difference." He went on.

"It won't bug me." I assured him quietly, keeping my eyes on the TV. Truthfully, I had a lot on my mind, so what time I got up wasn't really an issue for me. At some point today, Bella would be waking up. If she hadn't already.

Plus there was the whole Josh thing, distracting me far more than it should. Reminding me of itself as Josh walked back into the room. Plopping onto the couch beside me with a heavy sigh. I was completely thrown off by exactly how conscious I was of his arm brushing mine.

I could only stand a few seconds of that before I stood up. What the hell was wrong with me? I asked myself that repeatedly as I made my way up the stairs. I knew they watched after me, but I didn't stop to try to explain.

Finding Heather still in Hunter's room, Hunter laying on the small changing table near the crib. Heather was just laying down a new diaper for him. I felt like I could calm down with her, so I chose to keep her company for the time being.

"Hi, honey." She greeted, glancing over, "I'm almost finished with him if you need something."

"No." I said, "Just seeing."

She smiled a little, "Had enough of the boys for now?"

"A little." I admitted, and she laughed.

"Well," She replied, "When we're done here, we can go make something in the kitchen." That sounded like a good plan, so I nodded. I watched as she fastened Hunter's new diaper like she'd done it a million times, yanking his little pants up easily before lifting him.

"That's better, isn't it?" She smiled at him and he smiled back, obviously appreciating her tone. He also didn't seem to mind coming along with her as she carried him from the room, leading me down the stairs.

"Can I ask you something?" I mumbled, following her into the kitchen and watching as she sat Hunter in his seat at the table.

"Of course." She replied, lightly smoothing Hunter's brown hair from his forehead.

"How did you feel when you figured out that Mike liked you?" She glanced over at my question, a small smile betraying her slight suspicion.

"Well," She sighed, "It's a bit hard to explain, really. I didn't really know how to feel at first, because I was so busy with other things in my life at that time. It was just one of those things, but after awhile, I couldn't help giving it some thought."

"I mean after you thought about it."

"After I was able to give it some thought," She went on, moving for the fridge, "There was some nervousness, of course. I was confused, and I honestly felt a little mixed up, but he'd also made it clear that I could take my time. So I did."

I nodded a little, noticing how familiar that sounded. She pulled out a pitcher of lemonade, setting it on the table.

"What.." I hesitated, "What did you do when you figured out that you liked him too?"

"That took some getting used to." She replied, "For one, I knew nothing about what it meant to like someone like I liked him." I nodded a little, "It was a bit hard to come to terms with it, because I'd never felt that way about anyone before. When I stopped fighting it, it got a whole lot easier on me. I think part of me just knew that doing so, and just going with it, would make my life better."

I nodded again, sitting down in the seat next to Hunter as I considered how to word my next question.

"What would you have done.." I paused again, "If you liked more than one person? If you just knew that no matter which one you picked, they would make your life better?"

"That's a tough one." She agreed, laughing a little and placing a fresh glass in front of me, "I would have had a whole lot more thinking to do. I suppose it would have come down to two things. Who would I rather have kept in my life, and who would have provided me the things I needed."

"But how would you have picked one?"

"Honey," She smiled a little, sitting down to my right, "You're still so young. Believe me. You have time to figure all this out."

"I know." I muttered, "But it's hard. I think I'd just rather know now."

"Patience, girl." She laughed, "You have years ahead of you to pick someone. Don't rush into growing up, sweetheart." I nodded once more, sipping from the glass she filled with lemonade, "But.. When you're old enough, and truly know what you need to be happy, the choice will be clear. My advice? Don't go chasing after anybody. Just be you, honey."

I loved her advice. She always made me feel better.

"Hey," Josh came into the kitchen, Zack in tow, "Where'd you go?" He didn't seem upset. Just curious.

"I stole her." Heather laughed a little, "Sorry." That explained it enough for him, since it was no secret that I loved spending time with Heather. Josh leaned on the table to Hunter's other side, smiling a little.

"I really hope you were joking." He said, allowing Hunter to pat his head.

"About?" Heather asked, standing and moving to grab more glasses from the cupboard.

"The underwear shopping?" He asked, and she laughed.

"Maybe." She replied, "But I do know that's needed sometime soon. It's been awhile."

I had to admit. I'd sure missed the easy conversation around here. I decided then that, as much as I could, I'd treat this stay as a mini vacation.

After the talk with Heather, it was quite a bit easier to be around Josh. The way I felt hadn't changed that much, but I could tolerate it better, and I chose not to let it get to me.

Just like he said he would, Carlisle called around noon, and I was happy to report that everything was fine so far. I was sure that relieved him in many ways. Bella hadn't woken up yet, but he was sure it'd be any time now, so I still had to stay here for awhile longer, which I didn't mind. Because of that, though, we had to keep the conversation short.

After lunch, we all spent the afternoon watching movies, before heading outside to spend the evening out in the backyard since it was a nice day. The fresh air seemed to help clear my head a little more, allowing me to unwind.

Mike got home around four, just as Heather was getting busy making dinner. It was a normal day, and almost let me pretend I was normal again. My bruise had been asked about again, but my easy explanation of actually running into a tree seemed to work when it came to their curiosity. I was clumsy enough for them to believe it.

I sat myself on the tire swing by the trees, watching as Mike joined us outside. The boys occupied themselves by playing with a football. Not quite playing the actual game, but focusing more on keeping the ball away from each other. I chose to skip the roughhousing for right then. At least until Zack noticed what I was doing. It didn't sit right with him that I chose to be left out, so he came over and harassed me until I joined them.

It was hard to be distracted after that. Despite the fact that the entire time we were out there, I felt myself watched. It was different than before, actually knowing for sure that I was watched by my family. I was actually a little glad that I was watched, because now they could see what the whole draw to this place was.

Even if the boys were a little rough, it was a good kind of rough. It let me run off any nervous energy I might have stored during the day, while dodging their grabs for the football. I did take a few tumbles, but even though that did make my still healing ribs ache, it wasn't a big deal to me because it wasn't a big deal to them.

We eventually just sat around on the grass, waiting for dinner to get done. Mike stayed out with us the whole time, talking about this or that in the darkening evening. I found myself actually glad that I had at least a few more days of this before I could go back home. I did miss home, but I'd also missed this.

During dinner, Heather agreed that I could move my mattress into the boy's room, but only if we were all in bed before ten. We easily agreed to that, since it would spare me from having to share a room with Hunter.

True to our word, we were all in bed, lights off before ten that night. I could barely tell that I was on just a mattress on the floor. Considering I'd done this before, I was still partially used to it, and it was nice not to be alone.

Mikah hadn't visited me that night, but I couldn't exactly blame him. He probably got into more trouble than he let on for doing so, which only made me more appreciative of the fact that he'd done it.

So far, this wasn't so bad. Not bad at all.

 **A/N: I'm leaving it here for now. I realize it's mostly filler, but that's okay. I'm trying not to make this story a million chapters long, as it's already pretty long, but I like having the filler every few chapters.  
THANK YOU! To my AWESOME! Reviewers! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I seriously love reading them!**  
 **I know I said I'd try getting this out before today, but it just wasn't possible. So I'm a little late, but at least it's here now.**  
 **And as for the news I was waiting on involving Little KNeu, it seems that LK is of the male persuasion. :) Which is actually what I was hoping for and what I was expecting. The hubs bet me five bucks it was a girl, so I also won five bucks, too lol so it's a win all around. He should have known by now not to bet against my intuition.**  
 **Anyhoo.**  
 **I'm thinking chapter fifteen will be pretty eventful. If I can swing it right, and it shouldn't take too long to come out. Hopefully. We have a pretty busy few weeks coming up, until after the first, so I'll get as much writing in as I can. We shall see. :)**  
 **Until fifteen, my beautiful readers!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

The following day started fast. Zack's alarm clock went off, waking us all up, but the way he just smacked it told me we had a few more minutes, so I took advantage of that.

I didn't exactly have to be awake, but I knew it'd probably be rude of me to stay in bed while they had to get up, so I just snoozed. Listening to Hunter's babbling from down the hall until Heather poked her head in.

"Up, guys." She told them, "Come on."

Josh was the first one that peeled himself out of bed without too much complaint. I took a few more minutes before sitting up, and Zack took a little more persuasion. Having left the bedroom door open when he left, Josh made sure the smell of breakfast downstairs could reach us. That got both me and Zack out of bed.

Having taken my shower the night before, I got dressed in Hunter's room while Zack took his shower, so I was downstairs before him. Josh was already down there, halfway through his breakfast while chatting with Mike about some school thing or another. I was focused more on food than on listening in as much.

Zack joined us not long later, dressed and hungry as he sat next to me.

"Mom," Zack spoke up, "Remember when I asked about that birthday party next week..?"

She sighed, "Zack, I told you. I'm not rescheduling that dentist appointment _again_."

"But everyone's going." He whined a little.

"If everyone jumped off a bridge," She gave him a look, "Would you?"

"I would." I spoke up, reaching for another napkin, "I'd just let everybody else go first, so there would be a huge pile of dead bodies to land on and I wouldn't get hurt."

Josh, to my surprise, started laughing a second before Zack choked a little bit on his orange juice as Mike looked up, obviously concerned.

"What she said." Zack laughed, pointing to me.

"Your mind is a scary place, kid." Mike muttered to himself.

"I kind of like it." I smiled at him, which only made him laugh a little.

"We'll see." Heather told Zack, "I really don't think the dentist is going to take that long, so there could be time for you to go afterwards." He seemed satisfied with that.

Apparently, Mike had to get into work early that day, so it would be up to Heather to drop the boys off at school, and of course, I wanted to go too. I wasn't crazy enough to sit here alone.

I knew both the boys could walk their butts to school, but Heather didn't seem to mind driving them. It was a fairly quick errand, and I knew she was just a bit protective of them.

Josh got the front seat, Zack and I crammed in the back with Hunter, so of course when both the boys got out, I did too to take Josh's vacated front seat. Zack took off immediately with a brief, "Bye mom."

Josh hung around for a minute.

"Are you still going to be there when we get home?" Josh asked as I closed the back door.

"I should be." I replied, nodding a little, "I think I still have a few days at your house."

"Good." He smiled, satisfied with that answer, "I'll see you, then." I couldn't help returning his smile as I nodded.

"Go learn some stuff." I told him, and he laughed. He looked in through the passenger window.

"Bye, mom." He told her.

"Have a good day, sweetheart." She replied easily. Shouldering his backpack, he turned and walked away. I watched after him for a few seconds, smiling again as he looked back at me.

Despite as hard as I tried, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I got back into the car, shaking my head. Of course, Heather noticed, but she didn't say anything. Thankfully.

It was a bit chilly this morning, so the warmth in the car made me feel better.

I really had to admit. It was nice spending the day with Heather without everyone else. I hadn't had much chance to do that before, but I really couldn't help thinking about Josh. It worried me a little to realize that in taking Heather's advice, just letting it be, I wasn't fighting it anymore.

Hunter passed out for a nap around one that afternoon, and left us to talk in the kitchen. Carlisle called just after Hunter fell asleep, and without being able to talk in the living room, I had to be careful about what I said.

Heather went on with what she was doing, probably doing what she could not to listen in, but I still wanted to be careful.

Carlisle let me know that Bella had woken up the day before, just a few hours after he'd spoken to me last. She'd already been on her first and second hunt, and was doing remarkably well. She had yet to be tested around humans, however, as they really didn't want to push her.

I told him that there was no rush. I was actually liking it here so far, and if they wanted to take a few more days to let Bella adjust, I wouldn't mind. I was actually thinking about more time with Josh, and I could just tell that Carlisle knew there was more behind my liking it here than I was letting on. More of a reason than I'd had before, thanks to my remembering.

He didn't ask about it, probably not wanting to pry, but I knew he had a feeling.

He agreed that a few more days would probably be best, as long as I was sure that I was doing okay. I assured him again that I was sure, but that I was also grateful for the option. It was comforting to know.

I returned the phone to Heather once our conversation was over, and they talked for a few minutes.

Hunter woke up from his nap roughly an hour later, just in time for us to go pick the boys up from school. Instead of making me move from the front seat, Josh fit himself into the backseat with Zack.

It was a calmer evening than the day before. The three of us hung around outside, but Hunter was with us this time. Occupying himself near the porch to get some fresh air while Zack watched him. I'd once more taken residence on the tire swing while Josh lightly pushed me in circles.

"Really." He finally spoke after a bit of silence, "What happened?" He seemed concerned.

"The bruise?" I asked and he nodded a little, "I told you. I ran into a tree."

"But you never said how." He replied, and I laughed a little, trying to ease him.

"Because it's stupid." I countered, "I don't like admitting when I do stupid stuff."

"Neither do I." He admitted after a few seconds of thought, laughing as well.

"I was running," I explained, kicking my leg out a little, "And was looking back. I looked forward a second too late." That seemed to help.

"So that's not why you're here?"

"No." I replied, "It's not." He nodded, sighing a little. I frowned, watching him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said, "I just.. I guess I just missed having you around. It was nice, you know? Like during the trip. That was nice."

"That was nice." I agreed, nodding, "And I do miss those trips like that."

"It just sucks that everything happened the way it did." He went on, and I nodded again, looking down, "I know dad wasn't trying to hurt you when he spanked you that day. He still beats himself up over that."

"I know." I replied honestly, "I know he didn't do it to be mean. I'm just not used to that, you know? Nobody's had to hit me since.." I trailed off, "Well, not since California."

"Mom told us about what Jack tried to do." He admitted quietly, "About him trying to make you live there with grandpa. She said that's why you ran."

"That's not why I ran." I replied, "Well, that's part of it, but not the whole reason. There's more to it, but I can't tell you."

"Why not?" He asked, slowing the spinning tire I sat on.

"Can we talk about something else?" I asked, "I don't like talking about that."

He hesitated before he sighed, "Yeah." He shook his head a little, "I'm just trying to look out for you. Like I said I would."

"I know."

I glanced up, but he was looking down. Looking at him, really looking at him, I could clearly see who he'd be, and despite the way he'd changed so much in the vision, he was still so much the same. I couldn't help it.

"I missed you too." I finally told him, and he glanced up before he smiled. Laughing a little in what sounded like embarrassment before I spoke again, "You could have just said that."

I could clearly see the blush across his cheeks, despite how subtle it seemed to be. I'd embarrassed him? I didn't know that was possible.

"Push me." I told him, which seemed to help him recover a bit. He did as I requested, spinning me again. I might not have understood the way I felt about him, but I wasn't going to question it anymore. Maybe it didn't have to be as confusing as I thought it was. I could just go with it.

Not long later, Heather poked her head out to call us in to eat. Before I could even climb out of the tire I sat in, Zack was inside. Coming from behind me and wrapping his arms under my arms, Josh helped me out, pulling me out until my feet could land on the ground. It was a little hard to tell, but I thought for sure he could have moved a little faster, but chose not to.

I laughed a little, looking back at him once I was standing, "Thanks."

"Any time." He replied, smiling as he started off toward the porch. I hesitated, watching after him. He paused long enough to reach down and pick Hunter up off the ground.

"Wait." I called and he paused, looking back at me as I ran forward. I came to a jogging stop beside him. Pausing as I looked at Hunter first, before looking at him. It was fascinating to me, seeing Hunter in his arms.

"Yeah?" He prompted when I didn't say anything else.

"Um.." I muttered, unsure for a moment before I laughed, "Nothing."

"Okay?" He laughed as well, but I moved ahead. Ascending the porch steps ahead of him and walking into the house.

The following few days went about like that. Though I did look forward to Carlisle's call every day, I didn't think much about them besides that. I knew it was pretty selfish of me, but I was loving where I was. Every day that passed, I felt more and more for Josh and I actually found myself hoping that Bella didn't have the same amount of self-control that she had before. I hoped that she needed at least a little bit of work, because the days were coming and going way too fast for my taste.

I was open to it now, and I found that without that hesitation, it was so much stronger than I remembered it being before.

Josh and I spent more and more time alone. Of course we still spent time with Zack, but we would sneak off more often as well. Nothing special, just somewhere we could really talk without being overheard. Not that we had anything really important to talk about. Just everything.

The fourth night I was there, it was just after dinner and since it was Zack's turn to help with the clean-up, Josh and I went out to sit on the back porch. Heather watched us leave, so she knew we were out here and there was very little chance we'd get into trouble for sneaking away.

"He told me, you know." I finally admitted quietly, "Zack told me that you liked me."

"I thought he did." He shrugged a little, "I kind of figured it out right away. I just didn't want to say anything."

"Why not?"

"I didn't want you to be embarrassed." He replied, "I thought if I told you that I knew that you knew, you'd probably get embarrassed."

"I probably would have." I allowed with a quiet laugh, "But I'm not now. Are you? Embarrassed, I mean?"

"No." He answered, "I was a little bit at first, but I don't think it's that big of a deal anymore. Like.. I don't think it's something you're supposed to get embarrassed about, you know? I do like you, but it's a good thing. Why wouldn't I want you to know about it?"

Oddly enough, I liked that answer.

Everything had been going so well the entire time I'd been there. I could almost consider myself normal again, so it really didn't make much sense to me why I'd suddenly wake up that night, the cold sweat making my trembling body sore all over and the nightmare I'd been having just out of reach.

I was thanking my lucky stars the whole time I fought my way off of my mattress. Scooting my way out of bed and out of the room. Barely keeping my sobs quiet as I crossed the hall into the bathroom where I could try to cry without waking anybody up.

I locked the door behind me, turning to face my reflection as I turned on the faucet. I _hated_ waking up this way, as much as I should have been used to it. The under part of my loose hair was damp, my overheated skin telling me that I'd been panicking for quite some time.

I sniffled hard, placing both hands under the cold running water, struggling to get a hold of myself, hanging my head when I couldn't.

"Leandra?" I jumped at Alice's quiet voice coming from the bathroom window. The rough startled movement only increasing my tears for a moment before I turned to look at her. She'd stayed outside, but the second I looked at her, she made her way inside. Ducking her way in through the window easily, landing in the bathtub silently.

"What did you see?" She asked but instead of answering, I turned and crossed the room to hug her. The way she asked that should have told me something, but it really didn't. I couldn't focus on that. She easily returned my hug, stepping out of the bathtub to stand easier with me.

"I know." She told me quietly, "I know you'd rather stay here, at least for now, but I really think it's about time you came home." As much as I knew I did want to stay, I knew she was right. Letting her know that by how I nodded.

"Bella has been practicing." She went on, "We really think it'll be safe for you. We've only been putting it off because we know you wanted to be here." Somehow, that only made me cry more. I fought hard to keep them quiet, but that meant not letting myself breathe. She spoke again, "But it can't be put off any longer."

I realized then that she knew something. Considering this was the first time in several days, nearly a week that I'd woken up like this, it couldn't be that I was being a problem here.

I was about to ask, when I looked toward the door at the clear sound of Hunter's cry from up the hall. That was surprising to hear, considering the whole time I'd been here, I hadn't heard him wake up once in the middle of the night.

"Tomorrow," Alice murmured, quickly now, "Carlisle will be here to pick you up. Heather doesn't know about it yet, so.. I suggest you be surprised too." I nodded, sniffling hard. I figured Heather was waking up, so I understood her rush now. She gave me another hug, tighter this time, before she was suddenly gone.

Instead of staying in the bathroom, though, I headed up the hall toward Hunter's room. Sure enough, he stood upright in his crib, both little hands clutching the side of it tightly as he cried. The subtle nightlight giving just enough light for me to see by as I walked in and over to him.

He seemed really upset, but now that I was closer to him, I understood exactly what this cry was telling me. I'd learned this cry by now. In hopes of letting Heather stay in bed a little longer, I lifted him out of his crib myself and turned. Focused now on distracting myself with changing his diaper.

I wasn't as grossed out as I would have been had I not seen it done a hundred times by then. I replaced his diaper with a clean one before picking him back up, and giving him his pacifier again. He seemed content now, more than okay with letting me hold him for a minute or two. Somehow, his weight in my arms grounded me a little more. He was warm, he was real.

His blue eyes looked around the room, his little hand balled in my shirt. I couldn't be sure, but I had the strangest feeling that his dirty diaper wasn't the only thing that woke him up.

"You okay?" I asked him quietly, and he looked at me. Of course he couldn't answer me. His brow furrowed a little, as if moments from fussing, so I spoke again, "You'll be okay."

I looked over as Heather walked in, clearly having just forced herself awake. Her eyes landed on us, obviously surprised.

"I was already awake." I told her, and she smiled a little, "He just needed to be changed."

"Thank you, Leandra." She replied, coming closer and smoothing his hair, "I'm sorry I wasn't in here sooner."

"It's okay." I assured her, "It wasn't hard to change his diaper, I watched you do it so many times. Does he need a new bottle?"

"I think his pacifier is enough." She replied as he looked at her, "He should go right back to sleep now. Don't want to get him back into the habit of laying down with one every time." I nodded a little and after one more smooth of his hair, she let me lay him back down in his crib. He was kind of heavy to handle that way, but I managed to settle him in place without dropping him. He kicked his feet a little, but was otherwise fine.

I led the way out of the room, Heather quietly closing the door behind us as we left.

I was back in bed myself just a bit later, curling into my blanket and thinking about going home later. I was torn between wanting to stay here, and wanting to go back home. Once again.

Something about whatever I'd dreamed about shoved me into homesickness once again, but it was a huge comfort knowing that I was going to get to go back before the homesickness could get too bad.

Thankfully, I fell back to sleep without too much trouble.

When we all woke up in the morning, Heather waited until we were all downstairs before letting us know that Carlisle had called. The relief was instant, as I knew it'd been set. Of course, I was bummed about having to leave the boys, but the fact that Carlisle remembered that I was coming home today was a good thing.

Apparently, he'd be by soon to pick me up, but I hadn't expected it to be as soon as it was. We'd just gotten back from dropping the boys off at school maybe thirty minutes before, when he was there.

"Leandra?" Heather called, and I knew exactly what it was. I struggled up from where I sat holding Hunter, carrying him with me as I made my way to the door.

Heather took him from me so I could hug Carlisle with both arms.

"Thank you for watching her." Carlisle told her, "It was very much appreciated."

"Oh," Heather laughed, "Any time. She's always welcome here. She's been such a big help having around during the day." As if emphasizing what she meant, Hunter made a babbling laugh in her arm as he played with a string on her shirt. I'd pretty much gotten used to his sounds by then, so all I did was reach my hand out to him. He grabbed onto my hand instead, and Heather laughed, "She's actually very good with babies."

"You sound surprised." I muttered, finally letting go of Carlisle as Hunter squirmed in Heather's arm.

"Not surprised." She replied, laughing again as she let Hunter down onto the floor. He sat on his butt before crawling full speed for the kitchen. Hunter could walk if he wanted to, but he preferred to crawl.

We stayed for a little while while Carlisle and Heather talked, and I got in a few last minute moments with Hunter on the floor. I mostly just watched him while he fumbled around the living room after one toy or another. He'd bring me a stuffed animal, and I'd toss it across the room for him to chase. He never got bored of that. Especially if I bonked him lightly or tickled him with it first.

For really the first time, I noticed how his easy laughter made me smile. At least a little. It was so easy for him to be happy, and I began to notice exactly what Bella had been talking about. He was happy. I was trapped.

As I watched him, I couldn't help remembering the night before. The feeling I got from him and the fact that he was awake the same time I was awake. It was so odd to me that he'd be awake after not waking up the whole time I was here, when I'd done the same thing.

I honestly hoped it was just a coincidence, and not something more. As it was my mom I'd gotten my ability from, there was a possibility he'd get it too.

Oddly enough, after enough time, Carlisle seemed to be getting impatient. That concerned me, because he was the most patient person I knew. I couldn't help, though, stalling for as long as I could. After the night before, I wanted as much time with Hunter as I could get.

Until a few minutes after Carlisle really started insisting, when a heavy knock came to the door. I clearly heard his sigh, and knew that whoever it was was who he was trying to avoid. Confused, I looked up as Heather stood up.

"Who is it?" I frowned, looking over at Carlisle as Heather left the room.

"Someone I was hoping you'd never have to see again." He answered quietly, and that really worried me. I stood up, picking Hunter up with me.

"Not you again." I clearly heard from Heather the second she opened the door.

"Is she here?" I literally groaned at the sound of Susan's voice coming into the house. I quickly turned, taking the open spot beside Carlisle, hating the fact that she was here. For whatever reason.

"Who?" Heather asked. Before even answering, I watched Susan step around the corner to peer into the living room. It obviously wasn't me she was looking for, because she looked right passed me.

Heather followed her, "Who are you looking for?"

"Gina." Susan replied firmly. It suddenly clicked.

"She was with you?" I asked, unable to help it, and she looked to me.

"I've always been quite fond of Gina." She replied shortly, "So as soon as my son contacted me, I knew she needed looking after."

" _Looking after_?" I snapped, disbelief in my tone which she obviously didn't appreciate, "And how the hell could you be fond of her? You've never met her."

"Watch your tone, you little rat." She snapped in return, "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"I don't care who you are." I stood up, "I've talked to way worse people than you, you sorry old hag. You stole my mom."

Heather blinked in surprise, "Leandra?"

Outraged, Susan gasped, "Why, you-"

"You stole her!" I snapped again, "And then, you _lost_ her? What is wrong with you?"

"I did nothing of the sort." She replied sharply, "She came with me willingly."

"Bull shit." I countered, "She'd never go with you. Not when she'd have to leave Hunter behind."

"I don't have to explain myself to some little reject." She sniffed, "I highly suggest you sit down, and mind your business, girl."

"This is my business!" I was getting pissed, but Carlisle standing shut me up.

"I suggest we get going." Carlisle spoke quietly.

"I'm not afraid of her." I grumbled, and this time, it was true, "She might have an attitude the size of Texas, but she already knows where she can fucking stuff it."

Once again, I'd managed to insult her, given the look she gave me and the sound she made as she walked off toward the kitchen, but Carlisle was already lifting Hunter from me. Considering my bag was already in the car, I couldn't even use that as an excuse to stay longer.

"I'll sort this out." Heather sighed, taking Hunter from him as he led me toward the door, "And I'll let you know what I find out."

"It'd be appreciated." Carlisle replied, but I was busy glaring after Susan. I got a brief goodbye hug from Heather, and though I returned it, I was focused. I hated that woman in the kitchen.

Carlisle managed to get me out of there without any further distraction, but I was silent all the way home. Really thinking about what this whole thing meant. My mom had been with Susan this whole time, but had obviously gone missing from there too. It didn't take a genius to figure out where she was after the recent visit from Jack.

"Dammit." I whimpered, hitting my head lightly against the window, "Well, this sucks."

"I agree." Carlisle sighed quietly, and I knew he understood. For once, he wasn't telling me not to worry about it, and it actually felt like we were on the same page. I glanced over at him, knowing full well there wasn't much anyone could do now. Sighing heavily, I looked back out the window.

We got home, and the relief at being home was unmistakable. The first hug I got was from Esme, which I wasn't in any hurry to end.

Carlisle sighed, "Leandra.."

"I know." I muttered, closing my eyes, "You don't have to say it." It was probably best to just think of my mom as already dead. I didn't know why that was so hard to do, or why it hit me so hard. Not only would it be really stupid to go looking for her, but it would also be impossible.

I felt a little better as I felt more at home again, but not by much. It sucked. It really did, but at least we knew that Jack was busy for the time being. That his focus wasn't on us anymore, but still. It sucked.

I couldn't help shuddering, knowing what he was busy with, and because of that, I had a hard time making myself want to eat. Feeling sick the entire rest of the day.

Unfortunately for everyone else, I wasn't that talkative either. Despite their efforts. Especially Mikah. He tried hardest, but all I really wanted to do was sit and stare at the floor. Deep in thought, as much as I didn't want to be.

As often as I used to wish she'd stop existing when I was younger, it bothered me now. She was my mom. It was hard to face the fact that if she wasn't already, she'd be dead soon.

I wasn't sure where Edward or Bella were, but I couldn't recall seeing them at all. For once, I was the center of attention again, but me being so used to being almost ignored in light of Bella's condition, I wasn't exactly focused on that either.

"Alice?" I finally spoke just after evening that night, and she immediately looked over.

"Yes?" She replied.

"Did you know about this last night?" I asked, "Is this what you were asking about?"

"Yes." She sighed, as if hating to admit that.

"Then you need to check again." I muttered, looking back down, "Because this isn't it."

"What do you mean?" She asked, obviously concerned.

"This isn't it." I repeated, "This isn't what I woke up from."

"How do you know?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Because the feeling is different." I answered, "I don't remember what it was. Again, but I know how I felt. I was scared in that dream, but.. Yeah, this sucks, but I'm not afraid. I mean.. I woke up crying. I haven't cried once over this, or even wanted to. There has to be something else."

"I'll be on the lookout, Leandra." She assured me, and I knew she was being truthful, so I nodded.

"Leandra, I'm sorry." Jasper spoke again, but I shook my head.

"It's not your fault." I replied, "It's nobody's fault, but Jack's, and I get it. It's not worth looking for her now. Not when we know exactly where she is. I mean.. Shit. If he wants her that bad, let him have her. It just makes me sick to think about it."

"Then I'd stop thinking about it, shorty." Emmett murmured back by the door with Mikah.

"Yeah." I sighed, agreeing with him, "Yeah, I'll try."

"Did you have fun over there, at least?" Emmett asked, "Aside from this?"

"Yeah." I replied, nodding, "I was fine there until last night. Yeah, I missed home, but it was nothing that bad. Until I woke up. I really wanted to come home after that. I'm better now that I'm here, though."

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Mikah offered quietly, and I nodded.

"So I guess I should be thankful that Susan showed up." I said, "Because if she hadn't, I would have had to wait longer." I looked over at Carlisle at an afterthought, "Is Heather okay?"

"She hasn't called." He replied as if puzzled about that himself.

"Ah." I muttered, "She's probably busy trying to calm down first. I've seen Susan twice, and I already can't stand her. She grew up with her, so seeing her again would probably get to her worse." I wasn't worried about it.

I was in bed pretty early that night, unable to help it. I'd missed my bed, and knowing I was right where I was safest made it impossible not to want to sleep. Of course it helped having Mikah standing in his usual place back by the door. Though we both knew he probably didn't need to stand there anymore, I didn't especially feel like pointing that out to him. I didn't want him to leave. I'd missed him.

I'd missed having him there to watch me while I slept. The last several weeks had ensured I'd grow accustomed to the safety that came with being watched. I honestly wondered if I'd ever learn to sleep alone again after this.

I sat myself up a few hours into my sleep, and though unshed tears collected in my eyes, I didn't cry. It was such a drastic change from the night before, it surprised me. I just sat there for a moment, trying to make sense of how I felt before looking toward Mikah.

"What is it, princess?" He asked quietly, "You should be sleeping."

"I know." I mumbled, "But I'm awake."

"I see that." He replied, "Why?"

"I don't know." I finally whimpered, suddenly having to fight off the familiar feeling of heartbreak. One tear fell, and before the second could escape, he was sitting with me. I was surprised, as surprised as I could be, when he hugged me. I was usually the one to hug him, rather than the other way around, but him hugging me first did something to me. It told the emotional part of me that it was okay to open up.

"This is what I was worried about." He murmured softly, clearly listening to the soft cries I struggled with give in to sobs. Increasing in intensity with each passing sob, until I was having trouble breathing.

I couldn't speak to ask him what he meant, but that didn't exactly matter right then. I managed to free my arms enough to return his hug, but that was it for my movement. I paid no attention to my bedside becoming more populated with Esme's arrival. I ached. A despair I wasn't prepared for crawling over me.

"It's okay, princess." Mikah sighed, "I get it. It's okay. After what happened, it's okay not to be okay." I got what he was saying now. He was saying that all of this was caused by Jack's most recent visit. He understood, and for some reason, that made it okay for me to hug him tighter. Struggling up until I was kneeling up to reach him easier.

Minutes of that passed, until I jumped as he suddenly looked over toward the door.

"No." He said firmly, probably to whoever stood there, "Don't help her. Please." No one argued, and I assumed he was talking to Jasper. He spoke again, "We're okay. Just let her get this out."

It was silent after that. I wasn't sure when he stopped breathing, but I knew he did by the way he had to stop talking to me. I could feel his tension, but I just returned that by holding tighter onto him. My eyes shut tight, my teeth tightly clenched as I fought with myself.

Esme eventually offered her own form of support, smoothing my back for me, but she didn't insist on making me let go of Mikah.

Mikah seemed to notice as I started to get tired of kneeling up, having used most of my energy to fight with my emotion, and he tried to get me to move. Trying to urge me to the side so I could sit. I immediately shook my head, holding tighter to him, so he stopped that and I felt him nod.

"And you _really_ think you'd ever be able to leave one day?" Emmett asked skeptically by the door, "You're stuck here, brother."

I felt really depressed now as I finally gave in and sat back. Mikah managed to take a breath, I vaguely noticed, before he spoke again.

"Not every tear needs an extraordinary reason, princess." He told me quietly. He was saying that this crying fit hadn't been caused by whatever might come in the future. It was caused by what I'd been through. I finally looked up, meeting his eyes. Noticeably darker, his expression deeply torn. I couldn't see exactly what it was that bothered him so much, but I did know that the torn expression in his dark eyes seemed to match the way I felt.

"It's okay not to be okay." He told me again, "It's okay to feel normal emotions over things that have happened to you. It's okay to be human. I swear."

He had to leave the room not long later, but I refused to lay back down until he was back in the room with me. He needed a lot of time after holding me like that, so I understood that he could be awhile.

"It's not just that." I frowned, speaking mostly to myself as I continued to calm down, "I know it's not just that."

After enough time, however, I began to doubt. Of course that day would probably stick with me for a fair amount of time, and when I stopped waking up like that, I doubted even more.

I didn't see Bella for a few days after I got home. I wasn't sure if that was for her benefit or mine, but seeing her wasn't a huge deal to me. I greeted her like I usually did, not concerned in the slightest. I had a feeling that helped her feel better, because she was around more often after that.

Ness continued to grow, but it slowed a bit around the time she reached a 'year' old. Not by much, but any amount of slowing was a good thing to the others. She knew by now not to even think about biting me, which allowed her to be around me more often as well.

She understood a lot more now, and knew that I was off limits. As it turned out, she had a lot of questions about absolutely everything around her. She loved to learn things, and I helped with that as much as I could, and she seemed to appreciate the way I explained things in simpler terms.

Since I continued to get more rest without waking up in tears, I started doing better as things began to slow down again. We eased into a hesitant routine again, and that helped even more. The better I did, the better Mikah seemed to feel. I knew he watched me most of all, as I was his biggest concern. Just as much as the others, but because I was doing better, they were doing better.

A week passed, another following, and fall had really started to set in. Signified most by the weather changing, getting colder outside.

Though I'd been back over to their house a few times to spend the night, I hadn't heard much about the situation with Heather and Susan, but I had confidence that whatever had happened, I didn't want to know. I was curious about what Susan had to do with my mom, but I never asked again. I'd allowed myself to move on.

It had been quite awhile since I'd seen Cole or Destiny, but again, I never asked. I didn't want to insist and have all that worry brought back again. I wanted to pretend everything was fine as much as everyone else did. I didn't want to ruin how well things were going. It had been a much needed break after such a long stretch of problems.

About this time, though, I began thinking about what the last year had brought me. This time last year, I was still getting used to living in New York and Alyssa's friendship. It really made me realize how much I actually missed it there. It honestly seemed like a much easier time then, despite the massive adjustments I'd had to make.

It was fun to realize, though, that the day Halloween arrived, I'd known Mikah an entire year. Of course I pointed that out to him, and he got a kick out of that as well.

I'd been invited to spend Halloween with the boys, but I didn't really feel like it. I'd never been big on holidays like Halloween, so it felt more normal to me to sit and watch movies with Emmett. Thankfully, the movies were ones we'd always watch together. Nothing over the top or too scary.

I was surprised half way through the first movie, though, by Mikah dropping a bag of candy on me. I looked it over before looking up at him. Of course, it had to be the same kind of candy I'd bought from him the same day the year before.

"It's not officially Halloween until you rot your teeth." He explained and I laughed.

"You remembered." I pointed out, already ripping open the bag.

"Of course I did." He replied, sitting with a sigh in the chair beside the couch, "How could I have forgotten?" His smile was contagious as always.

It was a pretty uneventful day, unlike the year before. I didn't feel the need to wander, as I'd received no ominous warnings about strangers. I sat outside that night, a light blanket around me and Mikah seated on the next bench over.

It was almost rare these days for us to be apart. Aside from brief hunting trips and the few times I spent over at Heather's house, he was almost always somewhere nearby. I didn't quite understand his continued hovering habits, but I didn't exactly mind them either.

It did confuse me, though. He acted like I was still fragile. Like he expected something of me. I had no doubts he remembered clearly how hard of a time I'd been having the month before, but I was doing okay again. Now and then I still woke myself up in the middle of the night, but those nights were few.

Everyone else had calmed down. He stayed guarded, and tonight was no different. We sat in silence for several minutes. My stomach was telling me I'd consumed far too much sugar for its tolerance, so I gathered up the bag after tossing one more piece into my mouth.

Now and then he'd look over at me, but for the most part, he kept his eyes on the trees across the yard. Until he finally spoke.

He started with a sigh, "Leandra?"

"Hmm?" I replied, inspecting a new freckle on my finger.

"It's been a long while now." He murmured, "Since anything has happened."

"I know." I muttered, my defense slipping a notch higher. Just like it always did when someone mentioned something along these lines.

"I think.." He hesitated for a second, trailing off into silence for a bit too long for my taste. I looked over at him just as he went on, "I think I'd be comfortable now.. I mean, I've been thinking about.." He sighed again, "Shit."

"What is it?" I had to ask, not liking his new tone, "You've been pretty distracted for a long time."

"You've noticed that, huh?"

"How could I not?" I asked quietly in response.

"I mean.." He stood up now, slowly stepping forward toward the handrail, "I mean, you've been doing so much better. More than I thought you would, considering what happened.."

"Just spit it out, Mikah." I said, and he paused again.

"I need to take more time." He finally said, "Away from you." I sighed. This time in relief.

"If you need a better hunt, go ahead." I replied, and he looked back at me, "It's okay. I know those few hours every now and then can't be enough for you."

"I'm not talking just a few more hours, Leandra." He mumbled, and I frowned a little, "I'm talking longer."

"Well.." I hesitated this time, "Take a few days then. I get it."

"You wouldn't mind that?" He turned to face me.

"I get it." I repeated.

"I know how badly it bothers you when I'm gone for awhile." He shook his head, as if facing a solid wall of guilt.

"I'll live." I replied, "I don't want you to torture yourself just because it might bother me. As long as you're careful, I guess, and as long as you come back."

"I'll always come back." He said, and though I knew that, it was nice to hear him say it.

"Then it's okay." I looked back down at my fingers, "It's just like before, right? Just like all the times before?"

"Something like that." He replied quietly. I couldn't help feeling that it was more than that, but I didn't feel like asking. I knew he would explain if he wanted to, but he clearly didn't. Given the silence that dragged on.

"Do the others know?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"Yeah." He answered, "They've known for awhile now."

I nodded a little, "When are you going?"

"Tonight." He replied, and though I was surprised, I nodded again.

I had to admit, it bothered me. It bugged me a lot to know he wasn't going to be around for awhile. However long he needed, but it also bothered me to know he was stuck here just because it might bother me for him to leave. I was stuck between wanting to be selfish, to tell him that he had to stay, and knowing he needed to take this time. I also knew, though, that him taking this time was crucial if I wanted to be safe.

"Just be careful." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down, "That's all I'm asking."

"I promise." He replied, "I'll be safe. It's not me I'm worried about, princess. I wouldn't leave at all if I had another choice."

"Don't worry about me." I shook my head a little, "I'll be fine." I paused before looking back up at him, "It's not just about hunting, is it?"

By the way he looked down, I knew I was right. I pieced it together. He'd been spending every moment possible with me. There had to be moments when the others noticed, and I suddenly knew that they had to share the same concern that Edward had expressed awhile back. It wasn't just him making the choice to leave me.

"It's gonna be more than a few days, isn't it?" I asked, quieter now.

"It's just for now." He assured me, trying to force a smile at me, "I just thought I'd spend some time with Cole again."

"How long?" I wanted to know at least that much.

"I'll come back." He assured me again, "I just need to take a little time-"

"How long?" I asked again.

"No more than a few weeks." He answered quietly. That didn't sound so bad. If that's what he needed, then I'd survive that long. Taking a breath, I nodded once more while sighing.

At least I had a few more hours with him. He managed to hold on until I went to bed, standing in his usual place by the door.

"Is it bad.." I muttered against my pillow, "Is it bad of me to wish you'd stay?" I didn't want to admit that, for fear of sounding selfish.

"It's not bad." He replied, "Believe me, I understand. I wish I didn't have to go either, but it's what's best for you. At least for now."

"Is it what you think is best," I looked toward him, "Or is it what the others think is best?"

"Both." He answered immediately, "I need to hunt, princess, and I need to learn some things. Like how to tolerate being away from you, because as it stands, putting off hunting just because I can't stand being away from you is not a good place for me to be." I nodded again, but I still hated it, "The others understood where I was coming from before, but now that you're doing better, it's needed."

"What if I'm only doing better because you've been there?" I had to point that out.

"All the more reason." He replied gently, sighing as he crossed the room to my bed. I frowned a little, confused. Watching as he sat beside where I laid, "Princess.. You have so many people here that care about you and love you. You should be relying on them, not someone like me. You're far safer with them than you are with me, so using me as a security blanket isn't the way to go."

"I don't care." I grumbled, "I still wish you didn't have to go."

"Me too, princess." He smiled sadly, "Me too."

Though I wanted to stay up as long as possible, I was on a more regular sleep schedule now. I knew he wouldn't be there when I woke up, but I couldn't stay awake any longer. I just had to believe that he'd be back. Just like always. Just like he always was.

As I expected, he was gone when I woke up. For the first time in awhile, I was alone in my room. That didn't worry me, oddly enough. That made me sad.

I managed to get through that first day without him. Cole even apparently stopped by while I was still asleep to confirm that Mikah was with them this time, so that made it easier. I knew Cole wouldn't let anything happen to him.

I knew full well that there was some worry that Mikah leaving would put an end to whatever temporary peace I'd found, and though it did depress me for awhile, it wasn't anything I couldn't recover from. I did understand his reasoning, but that didn't make me like it any.

My family, however, had obviously learned something from him. That keeping me cooped up in the house wasn't the best way to keep me from going nuts. I liked it better when I could be out there somewhere doing something, so the moment they felt comfortable doing so, they took me to my cliff ledge. Or one just like it, anyway.

I got to stay a lot longer than I had before. I got to climb and walk, venturing as far as my stamina allowed me to. All safely, of course, so if I did manage to trip, I wasn't worried about it.

The best part of this little trip, however, wasn't just that I got to leave the house and do things, but that everyone had come along. It wasn't just Emmett, or just Alice, but everyone. This had to top every better day I'd had so far.

At one point, we'd come to a spot I couldn't go any further without having to climb, but that didn't stop me from trying. I didn't get very high. As hard as it was for them to let me do something like that, they did. It was enough, though, that they let me.

We returned home when it started to get too dark, and too cold for me to be out there. I was out cold not long after dinner that night, hardly able to stay awake long enough to eat. I had a feeling they were starting to get it.

After that, it was a once a week activity until our usual spot started to see snow. It'd be awhile yet before we'd see snow at the house, but the higher up we went, the snow fell earlier. Unfortunately, that was how it worked.

When a month and a half passed without seeing Mikah, the only thing I could do to keep from panicking was count that time in weeks. He said a few weeks. A few weeks could mean anything. Six weeks or so wasn't _so_ long.

I missed Mikah a lot, but I also knew he needed his space. He would come back when he was ready to come back. He'd promised.

Also unfortunately, with that month and a half passing and with those trips out pretty much coming to an end, I had more time to focus on my least favorite time of year. The time of year I hated with a passion, and the time of year that was approaching fast.

My mood was slipping further each day it grew closer to one specific holiday, but that mood drop had nothing to do with anything that happened recently. The specific memory that plagued me most around Christmastime was something I'd probably never get passed.

My family knew exactly what was bothering me this time, no confusion on the subject. The further my mood dropped, the more I wanted to hide away. I'd always been that way, though, and now that I felt okay with hiding away, I took advantage of that. The only thing that made it worse was the fact that Edward was around more this time. Though he already knew full well what it was all about, it didn't make it any easier.

It was the same as every other year. The front of anger hiding a deep depression that only continued to get deeper each day that grew closer. Like falling into a pit I knew I'd never get out of on my own until it was behind me.

Christmas Eve, unlike the year before, I refused to come out of my room. Preferring to just lay curled in a ball, inches from the wall on my bed, staring at the wall from underneath the safety of my blanket. I knew I was getting too old to be acting like this, but this was something I couldn't avoid. No matter how much I tried. It was inevitable to think about the hell that night had been so long ago, and even more inevitable that I needed to lay in a position that I felt safest in.

Thankfully, though I knew they kept a close eye on me, nobody tried to talk me out of it. I didn't want to be talked out of it. I didn't want Jasper's help, and I didn't want comforting words. They visited me, tried to get me to talk to them, but accepted the fact that I really wasn't up to talking.

A small part of me wished someone would go and find Mikah, because it was always so easy for him to cheer me up. A bigger, stronger part of me, though, really hoped nobody did. I didn't want him to see me like this. It was bad enough that my family had to see me like this, but him? I really didn't want that.

A wound had reopened. Like it did every year.

I knew they hoped that I had come around each time I had to leave my room to use the bathroom, but every time, I just returned right back to my bed. The depression so strong, I felt physically sick. It seemed worse this year than it had been the year before. I had a feeling I knew why.

I hardly slept at all that night. Curled in such a tight ball that I ached at times. My hand balled so tightly in the blanket, I trembled lightly. I knew full well that I was only torturing myself by doing this. I was hurting nobody but myself, as Edward had pointed out the year before, but that didn't matter to me.

I knew it'd only be a matter of time before these slow, silent tears wouldn't be enough anymore, and all I was doing by holding so tight was trying to hold them back. To just wait for the pain to pass enough where I wasn't in direct danger of shattering into a thousand bleeding shards.

It honestly felt to me like I'd lost a piece of me that night years ago, as stupid as it sounded, and all I was doing now was mourning that loss. I was grieving for the piece of me that had died, because nobody else ever would. That's all this was. A reminder that my life had changed so much in an instant, in one night.

Of course, I knew it was stupid to think about it like that. That moment, that night didn't define what my life could be like now, but I couldn't change the way I felt about it. The way I saw it now felt permanent.

I could feel it. Moments like this, I could feel it even more. The deep, resonating sadness and the hatred I tried to deny that I felt toward him for doing what he'd done to me that night. In a way, it always felt nice. Almost comforting to have that hole in my heart filled with something, but I knew that in no time at all, it'd turn against me, and just wind up hurting me even more. Mainly because I knew that was exactly what he wanted.

Maybe this was what he was always saying. Each time he told me that I still didn't understand what his actions were doing to me. What those actions were turning me into. He told me that all the time and I never understood before, but now, I had a feeling I was beginning to understand. How I could be doing so well, and just one memory of a certain time of year could drag me back down into the pits of hell.

When I did manage to fall asleep, it was welcome. My eyes were so tired at that point, and I'd been fighting it for so long, I finally gave in. Hoping that I'd just sleep through the next day.

When I woke, I woke with a jump. Startled awake by more than just the rush of my thoughts returning to my head. My heart pounded quick, realizing that there was someone sitting behind me on the edge of the bed.

The sigh was familiar, as was the voice that murmured softly, "Oh, princess.. I'm so sorry.." It was Mikah, and he'd clearly been filled in on what my problem was now, given his tone.

So on edge, being woken so quickly, I started to cry immediately the second I could breathe enough to. Gently, he tried to get me to sit up, probably to hug me, but I refused to move.

Over top of the blanket, he actually laid down behind me. Pinning the blanket down around my shoulders as he laid his arm over me in an awkward sort of cuddle hug that I actually appreciated. Knowing it was him was all I needed.

His pinning the blanket around me only aided my tense efforts to keep it pinned around me, as if he understood exactly what I was doing.

"I know." He murmured quietly to me, and his voice seemed to hold more emotion than anyone but me was capable of. With just the tips of my fingers free enough, I reached for his arm. Getting the message, he moved it just enough to let me hold onto it. I tucked it under my chin, clinging to his arm like I'd previously been clinging to the blanket. The icy temperature of his skin helped significantly to cool off my desperately overheated cheek.

I might not have wanted to sit up, but this was perfect.

He was silent from then on, eventually turning his arm enough to just hold my trembling hand in return. He seemed fine enough to let me lay like this for as long as I needed to, laying still and tolerant, which I deeply appreciated as my cries slowly started to calm. Even I was surprised when this crying fit ended so soon. I knew by the way my tears slowed, and my sobs turned into whimpers that things were slowing down.

I laid there silently myself once my crying stopped, sniffling now and then and continuing to both stare at the wall and cling to his arm. He continued to lay there behind me, not seeming bothered at all. He only turned once to look behind him, no doubt at the doorway.

I knew the others were probably curious, as the awkward position wasn't a normal hug for him to give me, but given the way nobody made him move, they knew it was working and something I needed.

I just laid there breathing, until I eventually did speak.

"I'm not coming out." Though I tried to make my voice tough, it turned out to be a very emotional, meek little whimper that trembled with the rest of me.

"Nobody is asking you to." He replied gently, "No, princess. You stay in here as long as you need to."

"Tell that to Alice." I whimpered, clinging tighter to his arm, "Last year, she made me."

"I won't let her." He said, "I promise. You're safe right here." I believed him, so instead of replying, I fell silent again with a nod. He spoke again, "I won't let her. I'm not going anywhere."

I wasn't sure how long I laid there like that, now and then sniffling again and shivering in left over emotion, but I eventually did manage to fall back to sleep. Having him here like this was really helping. I knew to pull me out, they'd have to move him first. As much as he thought I shouldn't have him as my security blanket, the title certainly fit him right then.

The most dangerous of the entire family, and he somehow made me feel the safest.

When I woke again, I knew several hours had passed, and he was still there. Somehow, he'd managed to get even closer to me. Pinning the blanket even more securely against my back, which made me feel more secure. His arm was still in my now limp grasp, so he hadn't moved it. As I woke, it was to his thumb gently smoothing over my fingers.

This was the absolute longest he'd ever been able to tolerate being this close to me, but as amazing as that was, I had to think about him.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as I stirred a little, "I didn't mean to-"

"No." He assured me, "It's okay. You're hurting." His tone was so soft, it eased the worry I felt.

"Aren't you hurting?" I had to ask quietly.

"Not as much as you are." He replied softly, "You need your rest, princess, and if this is the only way you can rest, I'm happy to stay." I closed my eyes, fighting yet more emotion. The things he was willing to put himself through because of me? It was more than I could ever have asked for.

"I don't want you to have to leave again." I admitted, and really for the first time today, I moved to sit up. Realizing what I was doing, he moved, sitting up as well to allow me to sit upright and turn to face him. As much as I hated having to move, I wanted to look at him. I hadn't seen him in a long time, and I wanted to see him again.

"I know." He sighed, "I was gone awhile."

"Almost two months." I pointed out quietly, my sad tone slightly accusatory, "You were gone a long while."

"I know." He repeated, looking down, "I know how it must have seemed, but.. Trust me, it wasn't easy for me either."

"What made you come back?" I sniffled.

"I wanted to." He replied, "I missed it here, believe it or not. And I missed you too much, so I figured I'd stop putting it off and come back. When I got home, and was told what was going on with you, I came right in. Had I known, I would have been back sooner."

"I know." I muttered, "I just.. I guess I never thought to tell you. Besides. You needed your time away. I didn't want you to see me like that." I had to admit, though, that having him here was helping immensely.

"Leandra," He murmured, "We all have our moments, but in moments like that, nobody should have to be alone. Sometimes, we feel it's too much to ask for someone to just be there and to understand. You weren't asking for anybody to fix it. There's nothing anyone can do to fix it anyway." I looked down, "I heard what you couldn't say, princess. I know all about what that's like. Nobody can change what happened all those years ago, but that doesn't mean you have to shut everyone out."

"I know." I sniffled quietly, "But I knew.. They would want to fix it. I don't like being like that, because I know it hurts them, but I can't help it."

He nodded a little, "Stuck between a rock and a hard place. I understand. Perhaps next time, you should try to explain."

"I did." I reasoned, "Last year. That only made things worse."

"I think now they understand a little more what someone like him is capable of." He replied, "They underestimated. They knew it was bad.. God, it was horrible, but I don't think they could imagine before just how horrible it was for you. Just how much more horrible he could make it. Now they understand a little more, and I think they know now that you don't need them to fix it." Which certainly explained why nobody tried to talk me out of it. He went on, "Some things.. Just are. There is no fixing them, or making anything easier. No matter how much we want to. It's been a learning experience, princess."

I nodded again, keeping my eyes down.

"I certainly can't blame them for wanting to fix it, though." He sighed, "It kills me to see you like this, but I know. You're just doing the best you can."

I took a breath, trying to control my emotion before I spoke again, "I really missed you."

"I know." He mumbled, "I missed you too. More than you know." A short silence followed before he spoke again, "Are you hungry?"

"Eh.." I grumbled, glancing over at the empty doorway. I could eat, but I really didn't want to leave the room.

"I'll bring you something." He offered quietly, giving my hand a gentle squeeze as he moved to stand. Before he could even make it off the bed, though, Esme arrived in the doorway with a plate for me. Like she was just waiting for that invitation. It had been awhile since I'd eaten, so I could see why she was so eager.

"Oh," Mikah pointed out, "See? She saved the day." To my surprise, though, Mikah stood up anyway as Esme handed me the plate.

"Where are you going?" I asked quietly, and he smiled.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." He replied, "I need to talk to Carlisle for a bit." Oh. That I could tolerate, so I nodded a little. To my further surprise, Esme hugged him before he could leave, and I vaguely heard her thank him. I wasn't that confused as to why she'd be so grateful. Chances were, if he hadn't shown up, I would still be curled up and refusing to talk to anyone.

Surprised himself, he chuckled a little and returned her hug easily.

"Anytime." He replied, and I looked down at the plate in my hands. Just the smell of food so close made it impossible to wait any longer to eat, so I dug in. I was far from okay, but I was closer than I had been in a week.

I kept my eyes down as Esme sat beside me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled after a moment.

"No need, sweetheart." She replied immediately.

"I know you guys don't like it when I'm like this-"

"Honey," She murmured, "Mikah's right. Sometimes, some things just are, and if anyone should be sorry, it should be us. For pushing the issue." I took a calming breath, sighing it out.

"I can't really blame you much." I said, and she smiled a little.

"I just wish that boy would let us know exactly how he does it." She shook her head a little.

"Does what?"

"How he reaches you on a level nobody else possibly could." She clarified, and I looked back down.

"Sometimes, some things just are." I shrugged lightly. I couldn't explain it any more than she could. I spoke again, "It's always been that way, though. Even last time."

That was pretty much it for the conversation, as I had to continue eating. However, when Mikah returned, he wasn't alone. Now that I seemed to be somewhat up for visitors, they wasted no time.

It surprised me. I felt a little better seeing that they wouldn't be treating me any different because of how I'd acted. Especially the passed two days. I wasn't sure if I expected them to, but it eased me to see that they weren't mad at me. They just wanted to see me. I could still be safe in my room, but as Mikah put it, I didn't have to be alone. That helped more than I was sure they knew.

I was beginning to see the difference Mikah made around here.

My family had always been about trying to raise me up to be on their level. To feel better about myself, and to try to make me see things the way they saw them. With Mikah here now, he was starting to teach them how to come to me. To find me where I was on my own level, and to have them see things the way I saw them.

Both ways were supportive, no doubt, but somehow having them try to see the way things are through my perspective was a big change. In times like now, when I couldn't be raised up, he taught them to come to me. Not to push me, but to stay with me when I couldn't be pushed. That was the key.

They were all about progress. I knew that, but what they were beginning to understand, was that there could be progress in staying in one spot. There could be progress in no progress, in just being still.

That was why I appreciated Mikah so much. He saw things in a different way. He saw things the way I saw them, but he spoke their language. He could word things in a way I was never able to. To make them see what I was never able to make them see, and for that, Mikah was irreplaceable.

 **A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. I've been so incredibly distracted. Appointments have been keeping me busy, and when I haven't been running around from one place to the next, I've been passed out. I never would have thought this would be an issue, but I guess so. My apologies! And I sincerely hope this chapter wasn't too jumpy. It's honestly like my brain doesn't work right these days. Mr. Little KNeu has my thoughts all mixed up.  
BUT! I got it out. I totally meant to have Mikah be gone for longer than he was, but hell. Since when do my characters ever do what I want them to?**  
 **THANK YOU! To those that graced me with their reviews for last chapter! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!**  
 **Chapter sixteen may take some time, but I'm hoping not too much. We'll see when I can get to it. Hopefully things will start slowing down for me. I can always hope.**  
 **Until Sixteen, my friends! :D**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Unfortunately for me, that wasn't where the day ended.

I would have loved to just stay hidden away the way I was, but apparently, someone thought it was a good idea to allow Heather and the boys to come by. I could think of a million different excuses to make it so I wouldn't have to see them, but it wouldn't be going that way.

The boys had each given me a gift, which I had to pretend to be happy about, and somehow, I'd gotten them each a gift as well. Ones I had no recollection of, but I was sure my family had thought of everything while I laid in bed shrouded in misery. Things were made easier by the fact that Mike had stayed home with Hunter, since Hunter hadn't been feeling well. A small cold, I was assured. Nothing major.

They weren't here much longer than an hour, and though I wasn't exactly in the mood to socialize, I managed to hold it together. After awhile, though, conversation started to slow down, and I had a chance to worry again. Oddly enough, even with the boys and Heather here to distract me, I couldn't shake the nearly overwhelming need to continue to hide away.

After a fairly lengthy bit of silence, we all looked over as Heather's phone rang beside her inside her purse. Confused, she reached over to grab it, probably to silence it. She inspected it as I looked to Zack again, surprised when she answered it.

She only got half of the first word out, before she fell silent. I didn't like her reaction. The way she seemed to pale a little, almost freezing in place.

"Who is it?" I asked, pushing myself to my feet, but she stayed silent. After a few more seconds, she slowly stood up.

"Excuse me for a moment." She said, and I looked over at Esme as Heather turned toward the door. Esme looked toward me, and her look worried me even more. She stood up as well.

"I'll be right back." She assured us, but mostly me.

"Esme?" I questioned, but she continued walking away.

"That was weird." Josh muttered, frowning as I sat back down next to him.

"Mom's probably talking to someone from work." Zack shrugged a little. I looked over, toward the door and the porch beyond it. From where I sat, I could just see Heather, and despite the way her back was to us, I could see her tension as she seemed to talk firmly to whoever was on the phone.

"Maybe it's Susan?" I offered. I'd only seen her like that when she was talking to her mother.

"Probably not." Zack shook his head, "The last time they talked, grandma promised to stay out of our lives. I don't think she'd go back on that so soon."

"If at all." Josh added, "They were pretty pissed at each other."

"Have mom and dad been fighting again?" Zack asked, now noticing the way his mother was acting outside.

"Again?" I asked, surprised.

"No." Josh answered his brother, "They were just joking around with each other."

"Yeah." Zack agreed, frowning now.

I was probably not the only one who flinched as Heather suddenly slammed her phone closed, taking a moment to take a deep breath and cover her eyes with the back of her hand in an exhausted gesture. I suddenly hated whoever was making her feel like that.

She looked back at us after a few seconds, and though Zack looked down, I kept watching. Even from as far back as I was, I could read the expression in her eyes. She was afraid. Not just worried, but afraid.

She took another moment to look around her before she finally came back inside.

"Who was that, mom?" Josh asked quietly.

"Nobody." She replied instantly, sitting back down with a sigh and a forced smile, "It was nobody. Don't worry."

To say I didn't believe her was an understatement, but it wasn't like I could press her. She obviously didn't want to tell anyone who it was. Esme chose that time to come back into the room, Carlisle in tow. That worried me a little, but he didn't seem worried.

Heather and the boys stayed for about half an hour longer, and though things seemed to settle down, I stayed nervous. They left as evening was starting to fall, and I told her to be careful on their way home. Since it was snowing, or so she probably thought.

The moment they were gone, the room became crowded.

"Who was it, Esme?" I asked, standing again and looking to her. She hesitated, obviously not wanting to tell me. That only confirmed what I already half knew. I looked down, "It was Jack."

"Apparently," She murmured, "The rules have changed."

"What did he want?" I asked, "Why would he call her?"

"He didn't like that she was over here." Alice answered this time, no doubt having heard the whole thing. Jasper, beside her, looked down.

The fact that Jack knew she was here scared me. I wouldn't lie. I knew they knew that. Remembering clearly the last time he was close, I couldn't handle that. Just the thought of him returning knotted my throat.

"Well.." I took a breath, struggling to handle my slight panic, "They left now. They're gone, so he doesn't have to come here." If they didn't know before how worried I was, my tone now announced it clearly.

Mikah sighed, "Princess-"

"I'll never see them again if it means he'll stay away." I whimpered, sitting back down. Just for something to do. I suddenly felt very cornered, and my breathing reacted.

Alice tried this time, "Now hold on-"

"We should move." I suggested quickly, "Maybe we should move again, so they can't come find us. We could go back to New York."

"I don't know about that." Mikah immediately replied.

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke up this time, "We're not going to move."

"B-But it's the only way." I stupidly started to cry. Knowing Jack had been close enough to see that they were with me scared me. Just the thought tried to close my throat. I obviously still had plenty of issues to work through regarding what happened that day. I wasn't about to deny that.

"We're here now." Emmett ended his silence, "He won't be stupid enough to show up."

"He's not stupid." I cried.

"Thinning the herd around here has kept him away." Emmett went on.

"That's what he wanted." I countered, "He probably just told you that to get rid of everyone-" I cut myself off, "He's not stupid!"

"Calm down." Alice finally sat beside me, and I finally allowed myself to breathe in, only to sob out.

"If he was going to show up," Jasper added, "He would have. He wouldn't have bothered with a phone call."

"Nothing is going to happen." Alice assured me.

"What if it does?" I asked, "What then? I don't feel so good.."

"That's just the anxiety." She explained, "It has nothing to do with anything. Just calm down."

"I can't." I stood up again, "He called her. He knows. If he knows, that means he's here. He's _here_."

The wind chose that time to change directions, a brief gust hitting the house and rattling the door quietly across the room. My previous slight panic suddenly sky rocketed. Before I could even fully process that it was just the wind, I was sprinting toward the hall as fast as I could.

Unfortunately for me, where the path was clear before, it was no longer. Moving as fast as I was, the arm that stopped me felt like solid steel. Knocking the breath from me and wrapping around my midsection at the same time, hauling me off my feet and flipping me around in one fluid motion.

Even through my panic, I could feel the difference. I was held, but not by anyone I should be held by. One quick glance upwards confirmed my need to panic. Jack himself had a hold of me, but I was more concerned about finding my breath again to react much. I did give a squeal, twisting momentarily.

It took probably only a few seconds before I could clearly hear the struggles behind me, and only a few seconds more before they died down. Dizzily, I stared down at the floor, trying to make sense of where I was now.

"Now." Jack spoke before the sounds of struggle were even completely gone, "I get that a few of you are new to this, so just.. Calm the fuck down for a second. Just like last time, nobody has to get hurt if you cooperate."

Silence answered for him, and in that silence, I tried to readjust how I was settled. Not quite struggling, but squirming in his grip.

"Jack.." I gasped, breathless and ending the suffocating, tense silence, "Can you put me down? Please?" How I was held under his arm, face down with his arm squeezing my midsection, made it rather difficult to breathe.

"Promise not to run?" He asked, mostly condescendingly.

"I promise." I whimpered, "I won't run-" I cut off as he dropped me before I was prepared, hitting the floor with a light thud and a quiet grunt. I was fine, of course, so I just kneeled up. It was from here I was finally able to get a good look at everyone else.

Mikah and Emmett were really the only two that needed to be restrained. The others were sort of grouped together right by the couch, but not without being watched. Closely. However, I did notice one thing. Bella wasn't here. Edward was, but not Bella or Ness. Unfortunately, though, those were the only two missing. Everyone else was accounted for and surrounded.

"I brought a few friends with me this time, Carlisle." Jack spoke again with a grin, "I hope you don't mind."

"They left." I told him, keeping my eyes down now, "You don't have to be here."

"I'll get to that in a second." He snapped lightly, "Shut up." I took a breath, trying to calm my racing heart, but I did as he said. He went on, "First things first. You all made this way too easy, but the least I can do is introduce you to one person. Well, two I guess." I finally looked up as he gestured across the room toward the large group by the door. The rest of those he'd brought with him.

I watched closely as one immortal stepped forward first, followed closely by a much younger-looking immortal. They carefully stepped around those watching my family, coming to my other side.

"First, this is Elias." Jack went on, gesturing to the younger boy closest to me, "He's the one you can thank for the missing scents."

"Technically," The boy, Elias, spoke up, "They weren't missing. Just changed."

"Changed?" I asked, surprised, and he looked down at me.

"Changed." He confirmed with a small smile, "If I wanted you to, I could make you smell like the carpet. I hide scents by making them smell like other things. It's pretty fun." He seemed friendly enough, so it immediately confused me how he could get mixed up with someone like Jack.

"Next," Jack shut us both up with a chuckle, "Is Darren. My good friend, and the one I owe all my success to." The older immortal gave him a small smile. It took me a second, but I recognized this guy as the one to tell Jack to hurry up the second time I saw him.

"I do apologize, Carlisle." Darren spoke quietly, "I can only imagine how troubling all this has been for you."

"What can you do?" I found myself asking.

"My ability is working with other's abilities." He explained calmly, "I collect them, I suppose you could say. Rather, I keep a sort of memory of those gifts to use for myself later on if I choose to, and I've come across some pretty interesting ones in my time."

"And you helped Jack?" I asked, slowly standing up.

"You could say that." He confirmed, "Where Elias is able to change scents, I can change other senses as well. While we discuss this, anyone outside will hear only silence." That made a whole lot of sense, and I suddenly understood. He went on, "It's a shield of sorts, but I assure you that that isn't the most interesting ability I possess. So I suppose you could say that I have a rather.. Interesting perspective on all the abilities in this room. Including yours."

I looked back down, slightly embarrassed.

"You were wondering how I got away with everything I got away with." Jack spoke up again, "This is how."

"Why even bother with Jack?" Mikah snapped from across the room, "What does he even offer you?"

"Nobody asked you to pipe up." Jack snapped right back at him, "You're lucky you're still in one piece, motherfucker." To emphasize, the one restraining him jerked him painfully backwards. He must have given them a fight.

"You know every ability?" I asked Darren, trying to keep the questions productive. Mainly because I knew that'd do more good than pissing Jack off. I carefully stood up, and he allowed that.

"It's merely a copy, but yes." He replied, "The copy I take is nowhere near as strong as the real thing, I must admit, but that doesn't stop me from getting a good look at them."

"And you've been helping him?" I asked, "Did you have anything against us without Jack putting you up to it?"

"Shut the fuck up." Jack slapped the back of my head. Though I winced, I stayed on my feet. Reaching back and rubbing the back of my head and glancing back at him. He was being pretty patient as it was.

"What I mean," I mumbled, "Is.. Well, why bother?"

"Because of you." Darren replied easily, "And to be honest, I have come to appreciate the variety of abilities around here." With a glance down at me, Darren moved away. Pacing slowly toward the group by the couch.

"This one is wondering about his mate." Darren murmured, his eyes on Edward. I blinked in surprise. I was still surprised to see the proof in what he was saying. Darren smirked, looking back at Jack, "Among other things. Many of which I won't repeat."

"Oh, the bitch outside?" Jack asked, "Yeah, she's fine. So's the kid. She's a cutie."

That actually drew a growl from Edward, much to Jack's amusement. Without a word, Jack looked toward Elias. In response, Elias gave him a nod and started toward the door.

It remained silent until Elias returned with a few others in tow. Bella, of course, was restrained. Followed by two others, leading someone rather familiar inside the house.

"Mom." I muttered, surprised again. Ness was sitting contentedly in my mom's arms, so I knew Ness was safe. I was more focused on her than Bella at the moment, as bad as it was to admit.

Spotting me, I could see the relief in my mom's eyes immediately, her sigh only emphasizing that. Neither of us were willing to move, though, and she stayed where she was placed.

"See?" Jack spoke again, "They're fine, and I have to admit. _She_ looks better than she did before." He nodded toward Bella as she was hesitantly released to Edward's arms. Bella did look unharmed, so I wasn't that worried.

Ness, however, wasn't happy with Bella so far away from her. Giving an impatient whimper as she struggled in my mom's arms. To avoid dropping her, as she knew she'd never be able to hold onto her, my mom kneeled down quickly.

"Ness." I spoke up, catching her attention briefly, but she didn't care much about that. Crawling forward as soon as her hands hit the carpet.

"Eh." Jack grumbled, "Let go of the brat." Once my mom stopped trying to hold onto her, Ness stood up and toddled her way to Bella. Much to both Edward and Bella's relief. Hesitantly, I thought I'd try making my way to my mom. I'd rather be closer to her than to Jack, but I didn't get very far.

I managed to take one step before Jack reached out and grabbed onto my hair. Yanking me backwards, his free arm pinning me in front of him.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" He snapped with an incredulous chuckle, obviously surprised I'd even try something like that. I whimpered, unable to help it as the sound of struggling across the room worried me.

"Relax." Jack snapped at them, "She's fine." He peered down and around to look at my face, "Aren't you?"

As brave as I tried to be, unfortunately, that couldn't last. Despite knowing that showing any kind of fear would only make things worse in the tense and crowded room, I couldn't keep my tears back.

"Oh," Jack grumbled, "Come on, now. You're not fucking hurt."

I sobbed stupidly, even as he adjusted his hand to grip my neck just below my jaw and forced my head back to look up at him.

"You're fine." He chuckled condescendingly, "Quit being such a fucking baby." Laughing as he lightly patted my cheek, the sound echoing slightly in the room.

"Can you just get to the point?" Alice was growing very impatient, given her tone. Successfully taking his attention, he looked to her now as he released my neck.

"You." He smirked, lifting me off my feet again, and holding me from behind, "I know you." I had no choice but to join him as he slowly neared her, "You're the bitch that started all this, aren't you? Tell me. Do you believe her now?"

How did he know about that? Unfortunately, however, that question only reminded me. I couldn't help remembering every single moment of the night she first tried to make me stay here. Now that Alice was face to face with Jack, I had no choice but to remember how hard I'd tried to keep her from facing this same scenario. Before I knew how sturdy she was, how fearful I was of what could happen.

"Didn't she warn you?" Jack went on at her, "She tried to tell you."

"She did." Alice replied calmly, "But I can't help seeing how wrong she was. You're really not much to be afraid of."

"Alice." I gasped, unable to breathe with my weight again on my stomach.

Jack chuckled against me, however. The others looked on, watching silently.

"You're the bitch that wouldn't keep her nose out of my business." Jack pointed out again, "When you really should have."

"I don't think so." She replied, and this time, she sounded bored, "After everything you've done to her, you're lucky to be alive."

"Oh," Jack smirked, "It isn't luck. I'm just _so_ surprised that even while I was human, you couldn't find me. How fucking pathetic is that?"

Alice stayed silent this time, her eyes narrowing slightly and Jack chuckled again. Knowing he hit a nerve.

"Any of you." He looked around the group, "I just find it _so_ funny how you've tried this entire time to tell this little bitch that she's safe, when you couldn't even find one human. No wonder she never believed you."

It was silent now as Jack's focus landed back onto Alice.

"I've given you so many chances." He went on, quieter now, "You all ignored the fact that this entire fucking time, she's been within my reach. You all ignored the fact that at any time, I can just drop in. Either you're really fucking stupid, or you're not taking me seriously."

"Jack?" I whimpered breathlessly. He ignored me this time.

"You've all ignored my warnings." He continued, his tone darker, "I made sure this little bitch would deliver the first warning. The second warning was my first appearance. Well, consider this the third. You don't get another one."

"What warning?" Alice glared now.

"None of you are good enough to protect her." Jack replied as if that should be obvious, "I had to fucking step in, and warn my sister not to associate with you, and I did that for a fucking reason. You're all sitting ducks, and you don't even fucking know it."

"Jasper." Edward spoke up, and I looked to Jasper immediately. He was closer, but Edward's firm tone had stopped him in his tracks. Jack chuckled.

"Daring little shit." He commented, but looked to Alice again, "I told you when all this started that I _will_ get a hold of her again. I meant that. You doubted me. What do you call this?" He raised me up a little, squishing more breath from my lungs, drawing a louder grunt from me as he did so, "As far as I'm concerned, I've already won. Several times. With three warnings, all of this is on you. Time's up, you stupid bitch. End of the line. Game over."

Without waiting for a response, Jack turned us around and I had the worst feeling in the world as he dropped me onto my feet and shoved me at Elias. He caught me as I stumbled into him, holding me in much gentler grip. I really didn't like where this was going, though.

Too fast for me to see, Jasper had moved forward. Unfortunately for him, the member of Jack's group closest was faster, punching him hard back across the room. I flinched at the sound of him hitting the wall back behind where Emmett stood restrained, squeezing my eyes shut and biting back a whimper.

"What better day?" Jack laughed loudly, turning back around to face them. He seemed more thrilled now. More excited about rubbing it in.

"Come on." Elias murmured to me, slowly moving me. Walking with me over toward my mom. Fear, borderline panic made me easy to move. Alice helped Jasper to his feet, as that seemed acceptable.

"What better day?" Jack asked again, "I could have waited until the day you fuckers first intervened, but this is much better for me. There isn't time to wait."

"Wait for what?" I whimpered, but he ignored me again.

"You all had your chance." Jack said again, firmer this time, "Don't ever say I didn't fucking warn you."

"You're not taking her." Alice seemed so sure, confirming my worry as well.

"Watch me." He grinned at her, and that only made me try to struggle away from Elias. Esme ran forward this time, only to get the same treatment as Jasper. Even landing in the same spot. I couldn't keep my cry back at that one, hating the sound of her hitting the wall. Carlisle had rounded instantly, managing to catch her before she could hit the floor.

"Ouch." Jack chuckled, "You could have gone a little easier on her."

"My bad." The one having punched Esme chuckled as well.

"Well." Jack sighed toward the others now, "I got what I came here to get. I promise you'll _never_ see this little bitch again. We're even." With that, he rounded again and crossed the room, straight for me. I cringed as he neared but that did nothing to keep him from grabbing my arm.

The second I felt his hand close on me, I started fighting. Immediately bawling my protest, but that did little for me. He managed to scoop me up off my feet, despite my struggles. He turned to face them one last time, giving them a nod.

"Wait." Mikah barked, and Jack actually paused, "What do you even want with her?"

"Wouldn't you like to know? I'm sure you would." Jack grinned again, and as heavy as his voice had been before, it was darker now. That completely _terrified_ me. He spoke again, "Merry Christmas. My gift to you is letting you wonder." His grin only widened.

As many of my family as I could see, the last person I managed to look at was Carlisle. I had no idea what was going on in my own expression, as I was far too emotional to care, but whatever it was, I knew he saw it before I suddenly had to close my eyes. The dizzying speed as Jack left the house behind instantly tried to turn my stomach.

"Take me back." I cried when I could, but I knew that would get me no results. That didn't stop me from trying, though, "Take me back, Jack. Please."

Nothing. Not a word from him.

"Please.." I whimpered this time, more afraid than I had been in awhile. It was slowly sinking in. Would I really never see them again? That was a terrifying thought. Almost as terrifying as his last words to my family. Why would he even still want me?

Several, long silent minutes passed and I could almost feel the distance gaining between home and where we were. I could feel the threat in where I laid. I felt the threat in Jack's presence alone, much less laying in his arms. My tears fell, but grew cold enough to burn me in the breeze around me, along with the snowflakes that hit my exposed skin.

The wind around us slowly died down, so I knew it was okay to open my eyes. We were stationary now, and every possible area around us in the dense trees were members of Jack's group. Not one familiar face. Aside from Darren, who stepped forward to place my mom gently on her feet beside Jack.

"Eli." Jack suddenly spoke, startling me as he dropped me onto my feet. The snow covered dirt below my bare feet was very cold, and very unfamiliar. Despite being unable to see very far, I knew I'd never been out here before. I stumbled a little as I first landed, unfortunately using Jack's left over grip to right myself. He didn't seem to even notice, but I sure did. Recoiling like I'd burned myself.

I gasped a whimper, drawing my hand back to myself. Yet again, Jack didn't even seem to notice.

"Diversion?" Elias asked, now visible across the group.

"Do your thing, but don't be too obvious about it." Jack told him, and with a nod, Elias was gone. I sank down, unable to stay standing. I landed on my butt, crawling backwards until my back met a tree and I started to cry again. It really didn't help that it was freezing out here. The snow fell in sheets all around us, even through the trees. I could just see through it, and all the eyes looking back at me made me even more fearful.

Turning, my mom followed me, coming to my side and kneeling down. I wasn't stupid enough to refuse her embrace. She had a coat on. She was warm, and I was already shivering hard. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping with all that I was that I'd wake up and find that all of this was just a bad dream.

Keeping my eyes shut as my mom opened her coat and wrapped me up in it along with her, trying her best to warm me up.

"Jack," My mom spoke, "We can't stay out here. She's freezing." I was glad she said something. No doubt if I'd said something, I'd just be ignored or yelled at.

"We're not staying." He replied, "When Eli gets back, we'll keep moving and find somewhere for the night." Knowing not to press him, she nodded. Accepting that. Accepting her acceptance, he turned to face the others again. I jumped, though, at the feeling of fabric falling over me. Looking around wildly, I spotted the member of Jack's group that had shed his coat for me.

I eyed him, but decided it wasn't worth asking questions over. Scrambling to pull on the coat, my mom helped me as she looked up at him. I tucked my feet in, giving them something to rest on besides the snowy dirt.

"Thank you, Austin." She spoke quietly, her voice just lightly covered by the sound of the wind blowing by. He gave a nod, stepping back again. I had to admit that the coat was helping. Almost immediately, I started warming up, considering the coat was large enough to also envelop my drawn up knees. Austin was a big guy, and he didn't need it. I did.

"You gotta tell him." I whimpered to my mom, looking over at her in the dark, "Tell him to take me back." I couldn't hide the quiet sobs in my tone as I spoke. Studying her, though, she looked pretty good. Considering the circumstances, she looked pretty well taken care of. At very least she was in one piece.

"You know how he is." She replied apologetically, "But I'll do what I can."

That really didn't give me much hope, because I did know what Jack was like. Instead of continuing to beg, though, I just let her hug me. Sort of huddling with me in a more thorough attempt to shield me from the snow.

Eli didn't take long to get back, and from there, it was right back to running. Right back to squeezing my eyes shut to keep from throwing up. Though I wanted to anyway, I knew that wouldn't go over well.

Eventually, we came across what looked to be an abandoned building. Just a small one, really. Maybe two rooms, but it was four walls and had a roof. I wasn't complaining. It was filthy in here, both dust and dirt gathering absolutely everywhere. Just being in here made me feel dirty, but again. It was shelter.

A fire was built inside, in the middle of the larger, main room and with a few holes in the walls here or there, the ventilation was enough to keep us from dying as my mom and I both settled inside on the dirty floor. Thankfully, Austin didn't ask for his coat back. He probably knew full well I still needed it much more than he did.

I knew it'd be awhile before I would be told what the hell was going on, so I laid down to rest. Curled up inside the large coat for warmth, and beside the fire, I was starting to warm up. I was exhausted, and knew I needed sleep if I would function. I also didn't want to waste what warmth we now had.

I wasn't surprised when I never slept deeply enough to dream. It was step passed snoozing, but it was enough. That spot between snoozing and sleep.

There was no confusion when I first woke up. There was no mistaking the feeling of laying on a hard floor or the smell of a dying fire. I opened my eyes to look straight at what was left of the charred logs in the pile in front of me, before I looked down. Toward my feet, where my mom sat upright. She glanced at me as I moved, so I knew she knew I was awake now. Having sat silently the entire time I tried to sleep, she must have been so bored.

"I never wanted this." She spoke so quietly, I hardly heard her, "I tried. I thought maybe if I did everything he told me to do, he wouldn't even bother with you anymore." It seemed now we'd talk. Now that I had some time to sleep. To calm down and get my bearings back somewhat.

"It wasn't about you." I muttered, taking a deeper, waking breath and forcing myself to sit up, "Jack has reasons for everything he does. Most of the time, it's impossible to figure out what they are."

She looked over at me, "You must be so afraid."

"Well.." I sighed, wrapping the coat tighter around me, "Yeah, and no." I'd really had a chance to think while snoozing.

"You knew about all this?" She asked, "About.. What they are?"

"For a long time now." I confirmed, "My family.. They're like him, but different. So seeing him like this wasn't a big surprise, and I don't think he can hit me like he could before, or I'll die."

"He told me all about that." She sighed, "All about the way he treated you before." I nodded.

"He can't do that anymore." I sniffled a little, my nose cold in the chilly air around us, "He doesn't know his own strength yet. Which is probably why you're still here."

"Some of the others here.." She murmured, "They're not so bad. Jack, though.. He's so different, but still so much the same." I nodded again, agreeing with that. She spoke again, "I just.. I worry so much about what he's thinking. Bringing you here? What could he possibly want with you?"

"I don't know." I admitted, shaking my head, "Maybe to prove that he could get me back? He's hated them for a while. Because they were the ones I ran to when I ran away from him." I hesitated, looking over at her this time, "Did you sleep?"

"I don't sleep much." She admitted quietly, forcing a small smile.

I bit my lip a little, sighing, "I'm sorry you had to find out like this. About.. Him.. About them.. Getting mixed up with them is hard enough."

"I suppose it is my fault." She replied, "I really should have known that what Susan was offering was just too good to be true."

"Offering?" I asked. I'd never really gotten the whole story, and I was suddenly curious now.

"Knowing Jack was somehow close enough to be in the loop," She explained, "I received a visit from her. Never having met her before, to say that it was a surprise would be an understatement. I don't even know how she managed to find me. She was so convinced I was in danger where I was.." She laughed humorlessly, "Well, she offered up her house. Just for awhile. Until we knew for sure if Jack had moved on. It was such a secluded place, I figured it was much safer than where I was."

"Why would she do that?" I had to wonder.

"You know, I have no idea." She replied, shaking her head, "She and I never spoke much. She's such a secretive woman."

"Then she made you get rid of Hunter."

"No." She shook her head, "It wasn't her that made me decide to leave Hunter with Heather. I chose to. I'd seen what children grow up to be when they're around her. Besides. I wanted him to be happy. Not hidden away, running for the rest of his life along with me."

"He's happy." I felt like she needed to know that, "Heather's taking really good care of him."

She closed her eyes briefly as she looked over at me, "You don't know how relieved I am to hear that." Taking a breath, I nodded tensely. I sighed, tucking my arms inside the coat I wore, cursing quietly. Without a live fire, it was getting pretty cold again. Despite it being daylight.

"You say that.. That family is like Jack?" She asked, obviously interested.

"Yeah." I sniffled a little, trying to warm up my nose by doing so, "They've been that way for a long time before Jack."

"But they're different?"

"They hunt animals instead of people." I explained, "Like deer and stuff like that. It works for the kind of life they want to live, but it makes them weaker than they should be. I mean, they're still strong, but not like Jack or the others around here."

"And you felt safe there?" She asked, amazed.

"Yeah." I replied quietly, "I'd trust them with my life. Even still." She nodded this time, and we fell quiet for a moment, until I decided to revisit the previous subject.

"So.." I spoke again, "You've never overheard anything about why he wants me here?" I felt like if anyone would have heard him mention it, it would be her. If only for him to brag.

She shook her head, "They're so quiet, it's like they're not even out there."

"Yeah." I sighed, disappointed, "Damn. Have you been here the whole time? In.." I looked around, "Here?" She seemed way too clean to have been here very long.

"Not until recently." She answered, "I'm really hoping this is just temporary."

"Someplace better?" I had to hope, because this place was really creeping me out.

What was left of the foggy, dusted windows let in daylight, but they also let in a small draft. The floorboards were wood, cracked and broken in places around us. I wasn't even sure what kind of place this was before. Maybe a house, but I couldn't really tell. The elements having removed any sort of indication.

"Much." She replied, "I don't know exactly where the other place is, but it's a lot better than here. At least that place has heat." I whined a little. That sounded so good right about then.

I jumped a little at the small door opening across the room, and I looked over at Eli peeking in.

"Let's go, ladies." He said, "Time to get moving." I hoped that was a good sign. Standing up first, I made my way toward the door. My mom following closely. Blinking in the daylight outside, I looked around. Where the area was packed the night before, it was practically empty now. Maybe ten others surrounded us, but surprisingly, I couldn't see Jack anywhere. The snow had finally stopped falling, but not without leaving a blanket behind. Yet again, my bare feet were burned by the snow as I stepped into it.

"Where are we going?" I had to ask, looking over at Eli.

"We've been instructed to take you into town." He replied gently, "Don't worry, kid. You're in good hands."

"Why don't I believe that?" I grumbled, looking down.

"I know it sucks." He sighed, "But for what it's worth, thanks for making our job easier." In other words, cooperating.

"I'm not doing it for you." I said, "It's not like I have a choice, do I?" He forced a small smile before scooping me up into his arms. It was probably my scent he needed to cover most.

He wasn't much bigger than me, which was how I guessed his age to be very early teens. If that, but he managed to hold me easily.

"Quick and painless." He smirked, "We'll get there, and we'll get inside. That's all." He was trying to cheer me up, but that was impossible.

This trip wasn't very long. Maybe five minutes. Wherever this town was, I knew I'd never been here either. I didn't recognize anything, but then again, there wasn't much to see. We'd stopped in an alleyway, busy streets on both ends.

Eli let me down onto my feet, reaching down and taking my hand instead. Glancing behind me, my mom was right there as well. Austin beside her.

As Eli got moving, I followed. Without much choice, I allowed him to lead me forward, toward one end of the alley and around the edge of the building. Directly into this building once we'd reached the door. I hadn't had much chance to look around before we were inside.

I knew that this place looked like a large apartment building. That was all that I knew. We stepped quickly through a nice lobby toward an elevator. Glancing over, Eli was keeping his eyes down, but I knew why he did so. Considering it wasn't just us in here.

We wouldn't be drawing much attention, because it was only the four of us. The others had stayed behind. Letting Eli and Austin handle us for now. I knew it'd be so easy to draw attention to myself, but somehow, I couldn't make myself do it. There was no guarantee it'd even work, as they could easily just scoop us up and be gone. At least cooperating allowed me to be somewhere warm, and it was warm in this building.

Given the difference in our hair color, Eli's bright blonde hair versus my dark auburn, nobody would believe we were related in any way. Friends, perhaps, but not related. Then again, it wasn't really up to Eli to decide what conclusion those who happened to glance our way would come to. I wasn't fighting him. That was what mattered to him.

We rode the elevator up four floors, and stepped out into a hallway lined with doors. It was a lot like a hotel, but given the space between the doors in the hall, I knew it wasn't.

All the way to the end of the hallway, Eli stopped and yanked a key out of his pocket. This must have been the place my mom was talking about. He opened the door, releasing my hand and I took the hint. Walking inside without hesitation. My mom followed quickly, Austin following her in before Eli stepped in as well. Closing the door behind him.

I looked around the sparse apartment, curious. It really was pretty warm in here. Much to my appreciation.

We stepped in right beside a kitchen, a dining room to my left. Straight ahead was the living room, with few pieces of furniture sitting around. One chair against the wall, and a small couch across the room from it. A floor lamp beside the empty fireplace, but nothing else. Just passed the dining room on the right was a hallway which probably led to a bedroom and a bathroom.

It was basic, but it was way more homey than the last place we were at.

"Food in the kitchen." Eli told me, "Uh.. Clothes and whatever in the bedroom. Just stay off of the balcony, and we'll be good." I knew we wouldn't be here alone long. The others probably just waiting a minute before following us up here.

I stood there, hesitating and honestly just enjoying the opportunity to get warm, until my mom stepped forward.

"Come on, honey." She murmured, gently urging me forward with her hand on my shoulder. I allowed her to guide me toward the hall.

This place only had one bedroom, and only one had a bed in it.

The bedroom was the last room at the end of the hall. Walking in the bedroom door, directly to the right was the attached bathroom. To the left of the bedroom door, was the closet. Given the small, open door.

Across from the bedroom door, against the opposite wall, was the bed. An unimpressive Queen sized mattress and box spring sitting on the floor. No frame, but it was more than enough to be better than the floor we'd stayed on the night before. A bedside table right next to it, holding a single lamp. The outside facing wall held a sliding glass door, which I assumed to lead out onto the balcony that Eli had mentioned.

"Let's see if we can't find you something clean to wear." My mom smiled at me, the expression definitely sad as she attempted to lighten the mood.

"I want to go home." I mumbled, and I finally realized just how true that statement was.

"I know." She nodded a little, "I know, baby." I ignored her now as she turned to the closet. Where I assumed all of her clothes were.

I stepped further into the room, closing the door behind me. I didn't want that open any longer than it had to be. This was really a spacious room, but I wasn't too focused on that. I found the lamp sitting on the otherwise bare bedside table, turning it on. Despite the way the room was pretty well illuminated.

Opening the drawer, I lifted out a small pad of drawing paper, along with some pencils.

"You draw?" I asked, looking back at her.

"I do." She smiled sheepishly, "I find that it's calming."

"You're really good." I had to hand it to her. The first drawing being of a flower, close up of petals and partial stem.

"Thank you." She replied, "I guess it's a lost hobby of mine."

I sighed, turning around and sitting on the edge of the bed as I spoke, "None of those clothes are going to fit me. They're too big."

She sighed as well, lifting up and inspecting a shirt.

"Maybe Jack will let me pick up some things for you." She mused, shaking her head, "I don't see any of this fitting you, either."

I hesitated, freezing a little in my thought. My mind quick to come up with it. I knew I couldn't tell her my idea out loud, so I flipped through the pages in the book until I found a blank page. I stood briefly to turn and sit more on the bed so I could comfortably write.

All I wrote down was Carlisle's cell phone number. A number I'd had memorized for awhile now. She stepped closer, still not realizing what it was I was doing until she looked up from the shirt in her hands.

She paused, catching sight of the page I showed her before looking to me. Surprised. I shook my head before she could say anything, pointing to the door with the pencil. She took a breath, nodding a little as she sat on the edge of the bed as well.

"The shower works." She told me, "If you want to get clean and warmed up. This shirt should work for now. It might be a little big on you, but that's a good thing, since I don't have any shorts or pants that'll stay on you." I winced at that thought.

"I'll just have to wear these ones." I muttered, lightly pinching the fabric between my fingers. I wasn't about to go without them. She took the pad of paper from me and I stood up.

Before I could take more than the coat off, I watched as she got to writing something down.

"No guarantees." She wrote on the page, "But if I get the chance to use this, I will."

I nodded and reached for the pad, which she handed over.

"Just try not to think about it while Darren is around." I wrote in response, "He said he keeps what gifts he uses, so he could tip off Jack." She nodded this time.

"Shower." She spoke out loud, and I nodded again. Watching as she reached back into the drawer for a large eraser.

"Will you stay?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't trust anyone out there, and I really didn't want to test taking a shower without her around. Not that she could really do anything, but she could keep watch for me.

"Of course." She smiled a little, "Though I can say that those guys out there aren't so bad."

"To me, they are." I muttered, "I want to go home, and they're not letting me. They're bad." I looked toward the door, speaking louder, "Nothing but cowards."

I left it at that, though. Heading into the bathroom. I had to admit that a shower did sound nice. I was gross from sleeping on the ground. Cold, and sore.

The warm water helped, but I couldn't help rushing. I really didn't want to Jack to get here from wherever he was, and catch me using it. I wasn't quite sure where I stood with him anymore, and it was instinct to worry about every little thing I did.

Thankfully, I'd been out of the shower for quite awhile before I did hear him arrive. My mom was in the shower this time, and I just sat in the bedroom, looking through her drawings as a way to occupy myself.

I heard him talking out in the living room, through thin walls, and the moment I recognized his voice, I was up and running into the bathroom.

"Jack's here." I warned my mom. I was more warning her of the high possibility that Darren was around, but she got the message. The shower shut off almost immediately, and she reached one arm out for a towel.

I handed it to her just as I heard the bedroom door open. Rounding, I looked back at Jack as he headed our way.

"Here." He spoke firmly, dropping a small, thick garbage bag onto the bathroom floor. He nodded to it as I inspected it a little, almost afraid to touch it.

Hesitantly, I leaned down and opened the bag. Inside the bag was clothing. Instantly smashing whatever hope I might have had of my mom having to get some for me. I pulled out some of the clothing for a better look, though. Just as I figured. Thrift store stuff.

"Now take off those dirty pants, and give them to me." He told me, and I hesitated again. I hadn't exactly wanted to wear those underwear two days in a row. I'd washed them and hung them up to dry, so I hadn't yet put them back on. He knew this, as he glanced over at them hanging up.

He rolled his eyes, knowing my issue, "Just do it. It's nothing I haven't seen before." This was true. I knew it would only become a big deal if I made it into one, so I took a breath and stood up.

As luck would have it, the shirt I wore was long enough to cover everything effectively enough to allow me to pull on a clean pair of pajama pants from the bag. Handing over the pair I'd just been wearing as he nodded.

"Good." He said, "Now get out. I need a word with your mom." Now I worried for her, looking back at her standing there in just a towel wrapped around her.

"It's okay." She told me, and I nodded again. I picked up the small bag of clothes and moved to step around him in the doorway. I didn't need to be told twice. As soon as I was out of the way, he slammed the bathroom door shut behind me. Making me jump and glance back.

I left the bag of clothes by the closet, not bothering to hang anything up before I carefully left the bedroom. I was hungry, and the fact that I knew there was food in the kitchen was the only reason I left the room at all. Just beyond the hallway, I could really see how crowded the place had become. A sea of people I had to get through to get to the kitchen.

I stopped, hesitating, until Eli caught sight of me. He stepped closer, meeting me at the edge of the hall.

"What is it?" He asked quietly.

"I'm hungry." I admitted, and he smiled a little.

"As long as you don't make a run for it, these guys won't bother you." He replied, "Come on." I allowed him to guide me forward. We made it the ten feet to the kitchen without incident, but I was shaking noticeably by the time we did. I wasn't sure why. I didn't exactly feel afraid enough to be trembling, but I was. Eli clearly noticed, sighing as he leaned against the narrow kitchen doorway.

"I'm not that bad of a person." He assured me quietly, "I know. I know you'd rather be home, but.."

"You don't seem like the type to hang around with Jack." I frowned a little, continuing to stand there, "Why do you?"

"Wasn't really my choice." He admitted, "Obligation by association."

"What do you mean?"

"Coven." He clarified, "Whatever the leader says, goes."

"You don't have a choice." I murmured, finally understanding.

"A lot of us are here only because of that one, stupid rule." He added, "We don't want to hurt you, or your mom, or even your coven. It's just how it is."

"Well.." I muttered, looking down at the sink, "You're all hurting me. By keeping me here."

"Aw hell." He sighed heavily, "Don't put it like that." He glanced over toward the rest of the group before he looked to me again, "Would it help if I told you that this whole arrangement isn't permanent?"

"It's not?" That certainly did catch my attention.

"It's not." He confirmed, "It's temporary. I can't tell you exactly what's going on, but I can say that if everything goes right, you won't be here very long. Just for now."

"That does help." I admitted almost silently, taking a breath, "But how do I know I can trust what you say?"

"That's up to you." He shrugged a little, "I'm just doing what I'm told, but that doesn't mean this has to be harder than it is." Well, when he put it like that..

I jumped roughly as Jack suddenly appeared beside Eli in the doorway.

"You." He barked at him, sounding far more irritated than he was before, "Don't you have someone to be?" With a tense nod, Eli turned. Walking away as Jack looked sharply at me, "And you. Who said you could be out here?"

"I was hungry, so I thought-"

"You thought wrong." He snapped, making me jump again, "Who the fuck do you think you are? Get your ass back in that bedroom, you stupid little shit." Again, I didn't have to be told twice. Immediately running off. I felt so many eyes on me through the living room, but I didn't stop until I was in the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me in my rush.

I found my mom, now dressed, laying on her side on the bed. Her back to the door. So I took a breath, trying to calm down as I crossed the room to take the free spot next to her.

"I guess he's more like himself than I thought." I admitted quietly, but she didn't reply. I assumed she was asleep, so I took her lead. Laying down as well, curling up on my right side.

Laying there, I had to wonder. What did Jack want with my dirty pants? I highly doubted he'd wash them for me. I shook it off, though. He probably just wanted to get rid of them because they'd remind me of home. Which they did, so it bummed me out to lose them.

It couldn't be that he wanted to get rid of them because they smelled like home. By now, they had to smell like dirt and Austin's jacket with the way I was curled up in it all night. Probably some smoke from the fire, too. Along with the rest of me before I managed to shower.

I decided that it was the first thing. He just wanted to get rid of them because they'd remind me of home. At that thought, I started to cry this time. I couldn't help it. I'd been holding it back this whole time, and I should have known it was never going to last. It wasn't _that_ bad here, to be honest.

It could have been a whole lot worse, but I still wanted nothing more than to be home. I wanted to know that everyone was okay. I wanted to see them, to know for sure that Esme wasn't hurt or Jasper was fine. I wanted them to know that I was okay, because I knew what worry could do to them.

But how long would I be okay?

I did what I could to keep my crying silent, but my mom obviously heard it. I felt her turn over before she hugged me from behind me. A little like the way Mikah had, but more securely. If I had known I wouldn't be there much longer, I wouldn't have let myself be as stubborn and hide away like I did.

If I'd known I'd have a real reason to be afraid, I would have spent more time with everyone. What was wrong with this supposed ability I had? Why didn't it warn me? Maybe it had. Maybe that was what made me hide away, instead of only the memories I tried hiding from.

If I had known Jack would come for me, I never would have avoided them. Now, I couldn't even apologize. They had no idea what was going on with me, and I had no idea what was going on with them. That was the hardest part.

"I'm so sorry." My mom murmured into my hair, but that just made me cry more, "Oh, honey." Her tone told me she felt how bad I was hurting.

God, I didn't blame her. She was trapped here just as much as I was. For once, I didn't blame her. I knew for a fact that she'd rather be anywhere else than stuck here in a place like this with people she didn't quite understand. For once, she was being the braver one.

She squeezed me tighter, giving as much comfort as she could. I was sure at any moment Jack would come in and tell me to shut up, so I knew I should get as much crying out as I could. She held me together as much as she could, and as close as she was, it surprised me to know that she was crying as well.

I had no idea how long I cried. Surprisingly, Jack never came in to tell me to shut up. Nobody did. I just cried myself to much-needed sleep. Something my exhausted mind desperately reached for without me even realizing it.

When I woke, however, my mom wasn't there. It had to be closer to evening now, but there was no clock in here. I had no way of telling time other than the fading daylight outside.

I sat up slowly, looking around the room with a frown. I spotted her, standing over by the sliding-glass balcony door. Just standing there, watching outside. She looked like she had a lot on her mind, and I really didn't want to disturb her.

As a way to pass time, I went back to sleep.

I woke next to the pitch black room, consciousness slowly coming back to me as I clearly heard whispering behind me.

"I told you not to move." I tensed, my heart stopping briefly and my eyes opening wide at Jack's hushed but clearly angry voice behind me in the darkness. For the briefest moment, I thought sure he was talking to me. Until I heard the reply.

"And _I_ told you not here." My mom's whispered reply was just as angry, "She's right there. I'm not just gonna let you-"

"It's not like there's another place." Jack told her, "You had your break last night."

"Let her leave the room at least, Jack." She countered, "Let me wake her up."

Without waiting, however, I was already darting up and running in the direction of the door. I found it, yanking it open and scurrying out into the hallway. Ignoring Jack's chuckle behind me as I shut the door.

I didn't know exactly what they were doing, but I did know that I was glad I hadn't seen it.

"Stay out of the kitchen, you fat little bitch." Jack called after me, which I clearly heard through the door. He didn't have to tell me twice. I felt sick enough. The fact that he let me run away was more than a relief, though.

I looked over as Eli came to stand at the beginning of the hall, a little concerned. Looking down, I carefully took a step his direction. I'd rather talk to him than listen in to whatever might be happening in the bedroom.

"He's not very nice to you either, is he?" I asked hesitantly. Now that I knew I was out of danger, I could feel half asleep again.

"No." Eli answered, "But that's just how it is."

"You keep saying that." I pointed out as I neared, "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Should it?" He asked, and I gave him a look. He knew the answer to that. He sighed, "Look.. I-I.." He trailed off into silence briefly before he spoke again with a slight nod back toward the bedroom, "Do I think that's right? No, but there's nothing I can do. Believe me. I would if I could. Coven is coven."

"What about family?" I asked quietly, and he looked down, "That's my mom in there. Do you even know anything about me? About my family? What about _my_ coven?"

"Eli." I jumped, looking over at Darren's arrival before I even finished speaking, "Isn't it time for you to hunt?" I looked down as I realized that I must have gotten him in trouble.

"Sorry." Eli told me, and I shrugged a little. I didn't exactly blame him. With a slight shake of his head, he turned. Walking away toward the door.

Darren continued to stand there beside me, watching after him as well.

"You're wasting your time." He finally told me, and I looked up at him, "I know what you're trying to do, but I can tell you right now that it won't work."

"I'm not trying to do anything." I muttered, turning and sitting down against the wall. It seemed to be the safest place for me. With a sigh, he crouched down in front of me.

"Are you hungry?" He asked me, "Do you want something to eat?" I shook my head. Jack had specifically told me to stay away from food.

"I just want to go home."

"I know." He replied, "But that's not ever going to happen."

I frowned a little, "Eli said-"

"I know what he told you." He shook his head, "But that was just to calm you down. It's something he's always done."

"He lied?" I asked quietly, unable to help the emotion behind my trembling voice.

"He lied." He confirmed, "I'm sorry, but you're here for good." I stayed silent for a moment, studying him. His expression gave nothing away. Only showing me remorse, actual pity for me and my situation, but there was something else there.

"You're lying." I mumbled, suddenly so sure, "You're lying. I will go home." I decided to go with instinct. Though I knew Eli only about as well as I knew Darren, I knew for sure that Darren was the one lying.

Darren only smiled, neither denying or confirming what I said before he stood up again. I looked up, watching him.

"You should really work on that gift of yours, child." Was all he said. Did that mean I was right? Or did that mean I was very wrong? I frowned as he turned away, crossing the room to the others standing over there. One in particular.

There was another person there this time, and though I partially recognized him from the groups always around us, he seemed more prominent to me now. His eyes were on me, despite how Darren spoke to him quietly. His thick arms crossed tightly over his broad chest.

I wasn't exactly afraid of how he watched me, but he was intimidating. Darker skin, and dark, longer hair that fell into his intense, unwavering crimson gaze. He was also a big guy, and reminded me a lot of Austin's build, but Austin wasn't that intense.

I couldn't help being curious, but instead, I glared a little. I only saw the beginning of his smirk before I looked down, focusing on the carpet instead.

I vaguely heard his deep voice, "Keep me posted."

I assumed he was talking to Darren, but what he was talking about, I wasn't sure. Keep him posted about what? About the whole situation here, or about me specifically? Given the way he'd just been watching me, I was inclined to think the latter.

I didn't bother looking up fully, though, as the intense guy turned and headed for the door. Oddly, his heavy footsteps audible across the floor. Maybe that was more for my benefit. I was beginning to get a slight sense of how things were working around here, but I really couldn't be sure.

I lost track of how long I sat there, watching the carpet. For the most part, the others were silent and still. Standing there like it wasn't the most boring thing in the world. Now and then looking to me as I now and then looked at them.

 _This_ wasn't weird at all.

I tried not to think about what could be going on back in the bedroom. Forcing myself to think about my family instead, which honestly wasn't much better. All that did was depress me. I couldn't help wondering exactly what would happen if I just got up and walked right out the door. Would any of the others across the room stop me physically?

I wasn't brave enough to try it. I knew Darren probably would, but I had no idea about the others or their temperaments. Maybe one of them was more short tempered than Jack was. There was really no way of knowing.

When the bedroom door up the hall finally slammed open, I jumped roughly at the sudden, loud sound. Startling the silence was Jack's irritated growling curse, and I tensed in response. He wasn't happy about something, and I sincerely hoped he didn't take it out on me.

He strode straight passed me, and I looked up, watching as he crossed the room to pace near the door. He was more pissed than I'd seen him since he was human. It was this anger that rooted me. Afraid to move, I hardly dared to breathe as he looked sharply to me.

"Go." His voice was nothing more than a growl. No other emotion in it but pure anger, which only made my fear worse.

It had been a long time since I'd last been too afraid to move, so this was unfamiliar territory for me. It only took a few seconds of hesitation before he was suddenly back beside me, grabbing my arm in an iron grip and jerking me off the floor like nothing. His grip was too tight, my skin giving more than I was sure he was thinking it would. My shoulder bore the weight of my entire body in one movement, and my weight versus his upward strength felt too much for it.

The pain of that drew a loud cry from me, only seeming to piss him off even more as I couldn't stop the quick tears from starting. I couldn't help it, though. I so suddenly missed how strong he was while human, because this was so much more painful. My shoulder now screaming in pain, my arm probably bruised deeply, he swung me around and practically threw me in the direction of the bedroom.

I managed to brace myself on the wall to keep my balance, not pausing anymore as I ran back up the hall. Closing the bedroom door behind me, bathing the room in darkness. I hesitated by the door, though, clearly listening to the sound of my mom crying.

Of course, I joined her. I cried as well, my free hand now clutching my painfully throbbing arm. Slowly, I made my way forward in the dark. Finding the edge of the bed with my knees before I kneeled up onto it and flopped down onto my less painful side, curling slightly.

My mom, however upset she might have been, instantly moved. I felt her sit up, and moments later, the lamp on the bedside table was turned on.

A single drop of blood had made its way down her lip from her nose, accompanied by a brand new bruise across her cheek. Otherwise, she seemed okay. I wasn't too focused on that, however, with the burning pain crawling away from my shoulder. Up my neck, down my spine, trying to steal my breath and turn my stomach.

She swiped the blood away from her lip quickly before reaching for me, carefully helping me sit up.

"Let me see." She requested quietly, and at first, I couldn't release my arm enough to let her raise my sleeve, but she managed to pry my hand loose. She sighed, "Can you move it?"

I tried and I could move it, but it only hurt more. Surprisingly, it hadn't hurt this bad before. I couldn't remember when my shoulder had ever hurt this much. Carefully, she raised my sleeve higher, over my shoulder. I felt sick with the pain this time, and even the feeling of the fabric of my sleeve brushing lightly over my shoulder made it almost impossible not to throw up.

She sighed, the sound very frustrated, "He dislocated your shoulder."

That worried me. Was I going to hurt like this forever?

"Come on." She told me gently, "I'll fix it."

Too worried not to, I allowed her to move me. Sitting me forward and guiding me to lay on my stomach with my arm and shoulder off the bed. Just my chest braced against the mattress. Of course, this only hurt more, increasing my cries, but she insisted I lay still.

Tears still falling, I rested my cheek against the very edge of the mattress, watching as she kneeled beside the bed on the floor.

As if in afterthought, she moved away then, looking around for something. Moving quickly, she grabbed a rather thick book from the bottom shelf of the bedside table and placed it in my hanging hand.

"Hold onto that." She murmured, and though I didn't understand what this could possibly do to fix me, I did as she said. She spoke again, "Other than holding the book, just relax your whole arm. Shoulder down."

Though I gasped for breath through tears, I nodded. Reaching up, she gently massaged my arm. Bicep down, emphasizing the whole relaxing thing. Once she reached my wrist and my hand, she lightly massaged it. As much as she could while I held the book.

After about five minutes, however, the burning pain seemed to be doing something. Shifting. I wasn't sure if it was just in my mind, so I didn't say anything. Only trying to breathe through the nausea.

She stayed kneeled beside the bed, her hand now gently supporting my wrist but in a way that she lightly put her own weight on it. She wasn't pulling it, or moving it. Just holding it. Carefully, lightly putting downward pressure on it. I wasn't sure what we were waiting for, but I knew I needed this pain to stop soon.

About seven minutes of laying there later, the pain suddenly briefly increased and I heard a muffled but audible pop as the pain got ten times worse before it started to gradually lessen. My almost calmed cries restarted as I dropped the book and my mom quickly helped me to sit upright again.

"I know." She said, sitting next to me on the bed, hugging me lightly as I clutched my arm, "I know it hurts, but it needed to go back in. Just do me a favor. Bring your arm up and touch your other shoulder for me."

I wasn't sure what test this was, but I did it anyway. Raising the hand of my previously injured arm, I touched my opposite shoulder. She nodded, sighing.

"You're okay." She assured me and I nodded as well. Letting my arm back down.

The pain was getting more tolerable though, as if it was numbing itself now. She held me, supporting my arm and shoulder against her stomach and chest as I slowly calmed down again.

"Where'd you learn that?" I had to ask to distract myself.

"My mom taught me that." She replied gently, "I had to do that for her several times when I was growing up."

"Oh." I mumbled, surprised. I hadn't known that. I looked over, "Did this happen to her a lot?"

She hesitated a moment before she finally answered, "Unfortunately. Let's just say that my father wasn't the easiest person to live with." I stayed silent, waiting for more. I'd never actually been curious about her side of the family before.

"So.." I prompted, "He was mean?"

"You could say that." She sighed, "Especially when he was drinking. All I ask of you, sweetheart, is to stay away from that stuff. It's hereditary how easy it is to become dependent on it."

"No problem." I muttered, "I hate it."

"I can't say I blame you."

"What was your mom like?" I wanted to know if the way my mom was raised was anything like how I was. Something I'd wondered about on more than one occasion.

"She was one of the bravest and strongest people I've known." She answered with sigh, "She was strong, even when she wasn't very strong. Resilient, I suppose you could say. No matter how many times she was knocked down, she still got back up. I bet you didn't know that I gave you her name, did you?"

"You did?"

"Her first name is your middle name." She smiled a little, "Your first name was taken from my aunt. My mother's sister. We never had much of a chance to really get to know her, but from what I remember of her, I admired her so much. She seemed so solid. Grounded, with a very unique view on things. I wanted you to have a strong name that would last you your entire life, so when Chris gave me the go ahead to start choosing names, I suppose I already knew who you'd be. I wanted you to be named after the two most admirable women I knew."

Why had I never let her tell me this before? I vaguely remembered her trying to tell me something about my name before, but I never listened.

"Wow." I couldn't say much of anything else.

She sighed, shaking her head a bit, "I might have let them down in the worst way, but I _know_ they're proud of you. For what it's worth." I was suddenly curious about something else.

"Either of them.." I mumbled, "Could they.. I mean.. Did they know things?" She looked over, "Like what I can do?"

"Darren did mention some sort of an.. Ability of yours?" She asked, and I nodded a little, "Is that what you mean?"

"I know things." I admitted, "Before things happen, I know they're going to happen. Well, sometimes. I'm still getting used to it."

"I don't remember my mom ever doing that." She replied, thankfully not freaked out, "And I don't know enough about my aunt to tell you whether or not that's where you got it from, but I know that I haven't had any instances where I'd known anything before it happened."

"Lucky you." I murmured.

"But I can tell you that what you're describing is something you've done pretty much your entire life." She went on, "So I'm really not surprised." I nodded a little, sighing.

"It doesn't freak you out?"

"Not in the least." She replied easily, "After everything I've seen since I've been here with Jack, I'm not surprised by much anymore, but least of all what you can do. I guess I've known about it since you could talk and really express yourself." I looked over and up at her, "And I'm not what you would call closed-minded. I can easily understand how hard times could bring something like that out in someone gifted."

I was surprised how easily she was taking this, but then again, she'd known about it for a long time now. She might not have understood what it actually meant before, but now that she did understand, it didn't change much.

"Just try not to use that arm too much until your shoulder has a chance to heal a little." She said, lightly brushing my hair out of my face, and I nodded a little with a sniffle.

"Are you okay?" I asked, looking over at her. Oddly, I worried about her after Jack left the room the way he did.

"Me?" She asked, forcing a smile, "Oh, I'm fine, baby. Don't worry." She was lying. I knew she was lying and I had no doubt that she knew that I knew she was lying, yet I really didn't feel the need to call her out on it. I'd been there before. Wanting so badly to believe everything I was telling myself. It was all I had most times. The least I could do was let her keep that, so I just nodded again, and looked down at my arm.

She might not have had the best track record when it came to helping me out, but I was sure glad she was here tonight. It still throbbed and ached bad, but the pain wasn't nauseating anymore.

I couldn't help it. I was beginning to see her differently.

 **A/N: Oh boy, I'm sorry this took so long. I'm not gonna go into how busy things have been around here, but just know I got this out as soon as I could. :)  
I really hope it's acceptable, and that there aren't many mistakes. If so, I apologize.**  
 **THANK YOU! To my BEAUTIFUL review-leaver of last chapter! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! It's MASSIVELY appreciated!**  
 **Seventeen won't take long, guys. At least it shouldn't. It's already written out, so all I have to do is go over it, but I won't make any promises with the way things are lately.**  
 **Until Seventeen, my beautiful readers!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

After the eventful night, sleep was welcome yet again. My shoulder continued to ache, but not nearly as bad as it'd hurt before my mom helped me fix it. I wouldn't have known the first thing to do, so I was rather grateful for her help.

I woke up the following morning to the dull ache, and yet another ache in my stomach. I was hungry, but I had a feeling that that wouldn't be fixed for quite awhile.

Looking around myself with a tired sigh, I found my mom standing over by the balcony door yet again. She really wasn't kidding when she said she didn't sleep much. Lifting my sleeve, I inspected my arm again. My upper arm was bruised deeply where he'd grabbed it, the coloring drastic against my pale skin. My shoulder was also bruised, darker than my arm was. That explained the dull ache I continued to feel, but at least I could still move it. Proven by the way I did so now.

"Have you slept?" I had to ask. Gaining her attention, she looked over at me. She offered a small smile.

"A little." She allowed, "But you should get more sleep, sweetheart."

"I can keep watch if you want." I offered quietly, "So you can sleep." Oddly, I felt a little guilty and selfish for not offering before. If she was staying awake because she felt the same way I always felt with Jack around, I could see how offering to keep watch would help. Even if it was just me.

"I'm fine, baby." She replied with a small shake of her head. She really didn't look fine. Both her eyes and her voice seemed so tired. Exactly how I imagined myself to look when I'd been thinking too much. Like she'd spent the whole time she stayed awake thinking about things she really didn't want to think about.

Oddly, she seemed more tense today than she was the night before.

The problem that I faced now, was that I really had no clue how to comfort her. I didn't even know how to comfort myself.

I jumped, startled at a quiet knock at the door. My mom looked over sharply as well, and before I could even move, she was heading for the door. She was tense, like the second she heard that, she had instantly prepared herself for anything. She pulled it open, and I was surprised to see Eli standing on the other side.

"Hi, Eli." My mom sighed, relieved that it was just him.

He spoke quietly, "I wanted to see if she's okay." My mom looked back at me and I nodded.

"You can let him in." I told her, and she stepped back. Allowing him into the room. As soon as he was in, my mom closed the door. Probably not trusting the others as much as I trusted Eli.

I wasn't sure what it was about him, but I did trust him. Maybe because he'd been the most remorseful and easy with me since this whole thing started. I saw something in him that I didn't see in any of the others. Even Austin, who'd shed his coat for me that first night.

He sighed, crossing the room to me, which was weird at first until he pulled something out of his pocket for me. Handing me the two granola bars he'd brought in for me.

It wasn't much, anyone could see that, but it was something. I wanted to thank him out loud, but I really didn't want to get him into trouble again, so I thanked him with my eyes. He smiled a little, and nodded. Understanding.

I unwrapped the first one immediately, biting the first one in half on the first bite. I looked to my mom and offered her the second bar, but she shook her head.

"You go ahead, baby." She said quietly. As far as I knew, she hadn't eaten yet either. As I ate the second half of the first bar, Eli reached over and lifted my sleeve a little more. Looking over my bruises with what looked like concern.

"He'd dislocated it." My mom explained, and he glanced over at her, "Probably without even trying."

"Jack doesn't know his own strength yet." Eli sighed, "Especially not when he's mad. He just doesn't think."

"I'm just glad he didn't rip my arm off." I admitted when I cleared my full mouth.

He shook his head, "I've been around a whole lot longer than him, and I never would have tried keeping humans when I was as young as he is. He's playing with fire."

"Should you be talking about him like that?" I worried.

"Jack and Darren are out again." He told me, and I sighed in relief, "Don't worry. Everyone here agrees. He's being really reckless."

"I hope they stay gone." I mumbled.

"Where do they keep going?" My mom asked, frowning a little.

"I don't know." He admitted, and I went ahead and unwrapped the second granola bar. He spoke again, "We're assuming that they're hunting, but I don't think that's it. It could have something to do with Asher, too."

"Who's Asher?" I asked, curious.

"Long story." He smiled a little sheepishly, "Asher isn't here very often."

"But who is he?" I pressed lightly.

"Asher is someone you really don't want to cross." He finally murmured, "Let's just say he's a better friend of Jack's than Darren is. He's sort of.. A mentor, I guess you could say. A very respected adviser. Where Jack owes his success against the Cullens to Darren.. Jack owes this life of his to Asher." He paused and I waited, so he went on, "And without Asher's help, none of this would be possible." He gestured around himself, "At least not without a whole lot of problems."

"Wow." I muttered, thinking about that. I couldn't help wondering, "Was Asher here last night? Bigger guy, dark hair?"

"That was probably him." Eli nodded a little, "He won't really bother you, but I'd stay out of his way."

I nodded as well, looking back down at the second granola bar in my hands.

Falling quiet, I ate the second bar about as fast as I ate the first, but this time, I had to get up to get some water from the bathroom. My mouth was too sticky not to. I heard them talking while I was in there, but I didn't mind that.

When I made it back to the room, Eli was opening the balcony door. Letting a chilly breeze into the room. I assumed that that was acceptable, as long as my mom and I stayed away from it.

"As I was saying," My mom spoke up again, "I really don't care what happens to me. As long as I know she's okay. He knows that."

"Do you even know what he's doing?" I had to ask, sitting back down. There was no way she couldn't know. I could see it, so she had to see it.

"Leandra." She sighed, shaking her head. Probably embarrassed.

"Well, I do." I muttered, "And if you knew too, you wouldn't be so okay with it."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does." I countered, "Because you won't live through it."

"I'd rather not discuss this right now." Her tone was a little sharper, so I shut up. I didn't really want to fight with her. Staying silent, Eli looked down.

"It's not like there's gonna be a better time to talk about it." I pointed out anyway, "They can hear every word we say in here from out there." She let that drop, though.

"Maybe that's what I'm here for." I grumbled, mostly to myself, "Back up for when you die." I was being a little bitter, but I couldn't help it.

"No." Eli frowned, "That's not why you're here. It can't be."

"Well, what else am I supposed to think?" I snapped lightly, looking over at him, "Nobody will tell me anything."

"I'll see what I can find out, okay?" He asked, "Just hold on." I took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. It wasn't his fault. He'd already helped me out so much, so I shouldn't be snapping at him.

"Sorry." I muttered, "I don't mean to be mean."

"It's okay." He replied, "I understand more than you know, kid."

I looked down this time, shaking my head a little. I doubted that somehow. All I wanted was to go home. That really didn't seem like such an impossible thing to me. It was simple, really. It would be easy.

I wanted to go home. I wanted my bed, my room. I didn't know if they knew I was even still alive. For all I knew, Jack had told them I was dead, just so they wouldn't look for me.

They'd never believe that, I told myself. Not without proof. Solid proof.

Shaking my head again, I looked back at Eli. I needed to change the subject if I was going to hang on.

"What did Jack mean?" I asked, "Yesterday, when he told you that you had someone to be?"

Eli smirked, "You caught that?"

"I catch things." I replied simply.

"I don't just play with scents." He explained, but that only confused me, "It's.. Sort of an illusion gift. Part of a whole package. I can be anyone I want to be. Make people see me as someone else." I blinked in surprise.

"Cool." I couldn't help smiling a little.

"It wouldn't work for too long on that mind-reader, though." He admitted, slowly stepping back around the bed to sit beside me, "So I never tried."

"He was distracted." I sighed, "He couldn't really listen in to everyone at once."

"Better safe than sorry." He reasoned quietly, "If I would have blown it, Jack would have killed me on the spot." I nodded a little, agreeing with him. I had no doubt about that.

"His name's Edward, by the way." I pointed out, "'That mind-reader' has a name." He smiled a little.

"Sorry." He replied with a small laugh, "Out of the two that had to be held back, who was the dark haired one? Not the big dark haired one, but the smaller one?"

"Well, the ones that you guys had to hold back were Emmett and Mikah." I muttered, "Emmett's the bigger one."

"Mikah." He nodded, "He's the one that was always running off. I'd seen him around."

"You'd seen him?" I asked, curious and he nodded, "Did he ever see you?"

"No." He answered, "He didn't know to look for me, because I smelled like a tree."

I had to laugh a little at that visual. Of course, I pictured one of those cardboard car freshener trees.

"I'll be right back." My mom finally spoke up again, and I nodded. Letting her know it was okay. With that, she turned, leaving the room.

"If you don't mind my asking.." He hesitated, "What on Earth could Jack ever have against you?" Once again, I was surprised.

"You've been helping him," I muttered, "And you don't even know why?"

"I'm not told a lot of things." He said again, "Not a lot of us are."

"Very long story short," I sighed, "He was my stepdad when he was human, and I got tired of getting beat up by him every day, so I did the only thing I could. I ran away one day when he tried to leave me in California with his dad." It was his turn to be surprised, "Carlisle took me in when I had no other place to go, and they did what they could to keep me safe. Well, Jack didn't like that I ran away from him, so he was doing everything he could do to get me back. While he was trying to get me back, he got turned in Seattle by one of them making newborns. He never forgot about me. Now I'm here."

He stayed silent for a minute.

"So.." He hesitated again, "Your only crime against him is trying to get away from being beaten?"

"Pretty much." I mumbled, "Plus the other things."

"Other things?"

"I don't like to talk about it much." I admitted quietly, "But to me.. I guess getting beaten wasn't the worst thing in the world." It took him a moment, before he suddenly seemed to understand.

He was surprised again, "That's why you said what you said earlier. About your being here in case she.." He trailed off.

"I wouldn't be surprised if that _was_ why I was brought here." I replied, keeping my eyes down on the carpet.

"But you're just a kid." He mumbled, and I glanced over at him briefly. As if to say, 'I know' without saying it before I looked back down. He was silent again, as if trying to make sense of what I told him. I had a feeling that I'd just stumbled across a sure way to get through to him. The truth.

"Jack.." I muttered, "He does everything he can to ruin my life. He told me that all the time. That's why I ran away. All I wanted was to make it stop, but I guess that was stupid of me when I knew what he was like."

"It wasn't stupid." He replied, more firmly than I was expecting, "It wasn't stupid at all."

"Well, look where it's got me." I countered, "Look where it's got my family. I never wanted this. I guess I just wanted what Alice was promising me more than I didn't want that."

I looked over again as he stood up instead of replying.

"I'll be right back." He sounded far more tense now, so I just nodded, letting him know that it was okay. I didn't blame him for having to walk away. I wished I could too.

Maybe I'd been wrong in assuming that telling him that would do any good. It really seemed like all I'd done was piss him off. With a sigh, I looked around me, now alone in the room. Closing my eyes, I was actually enjoying the cooler breeze crawling into the room from the still open door.

I froze for a moment, looking back at the still open balcony door as the realization crawled over me. I was in here alone. Jack wasn't here. Eli had left, leaving the door open.

Taking a breath, I stood up. Slowly, as not to arouse suspicion. I didn't want to waste too much time, but I also didn't want to waste this opportunity. What would I even do? Until I spotted my mom's pad of drawing paper.

I reached down and lifted the pad to me. Flipping to the page with Carlisle's number written down, and tore it out. Grabbing the pencil, I quickly wrote one word on the page.

"Call."

That's when I knew I had to hurry up. I turned, walking as quietly as I could toward the balcony door. Crumpling the paper as tightly packed as I could, I stepped outside, knowing I now had seconds.

Without pause, I lobbed the piece of paper as hard as I could toward the balcony above me. It just seemed to make it, and I heard it land with a quiet plop as I studied the balcony above me. I could probably reach it if I stood up on the railing.

Four stories up, though, was a hell of a way to fall, but I had to try. Without giving it much thought, I climbed up. Before I could even get my other foot up there, my foot slipped forward just as the balcony door opened wider. Eli managed to catch my wrist before I could drop too far, and he held me there with a loud, irritated sigh.

"Let me go." I plead, suddenly desperate.

"Not a chance." He replied, "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"Please.." I whimpered. He sighed again, and hauled me up. Back over the railing and safely back onto the balcony. His hand still around my wrist, he dragged me back inside.

"Why did you stop me?" I asked, rounding to look at him as he closed the door.

"Because you never would have survived a fall like that." He countered, "And if you did survive, you would have probably broken both your legs at least. Did you even think about that?"

"No." I snapped in reply, "I was thinking about how much I wanted to go home!" The bedroom was now crowded, the others of Jack's group had come to see what was going on, as well as my mom.

"That's not the way to get what you want."

"I don't care!" I couldn't stop the sudden flood of tears, "I'd rather die than stay here!"

Seeming at a loss for words, Eli growled a little and strode for the door.

"Stay inside!" He called back at me as he left the room. Before I could reply, my mom was there. Hugging me tightly. I had no choice but to hug her back. She took a deep breath, sighing it out.

I cried for a solid thirty minutes, which wasn't really anywhere near my record, but I was so tired. In every possible way. I was tired of not knowing, of being kept clueless. I was tired of being held here with no answers. With nothing to do but worry and sleep.

Not to mention the fact that I'd just pissed Eli off. Again. The only one being civil to me the entire time I was here. I was scared and now, I felt guilty. I really didn't want to take it out on him, but I didn't have very many options.

Someone must have let it slip to Jack about what I did. He was in the bedroom with us the second he got back, and I never even saw the slap coming. One second the bedroom door was flying open hard enough to slam against the wall behind it, and less than a second later, I was off the bed, on the floor with my face in blinding pain.

I recognized this pain, knowing exactly what had happened.

"You just don't fucking learn." I hardly heard him.

"Leave her alone." I heard my mom even less, "It wasn't her fault."

"Gina." He rounded on her next, "Sit down, and shut the fuck up. I _swear_ to _fucking_ God!" _That_ I heard. He was more pissed than I'd heard him before. Including the night before. Slowly, I pushed myself up with my arms, but he decided to help me. Gripping my hair tight in one hand, he dragged me to my feet. I fought hard to get my feet under me to lessen the pain of my hair pulled so violently.

He jerked me around, dragging me roughly across the room. Over to the balcony door and slammed me against the thick glass. Pinning me there against it with an immovable grip. By now, I was crying heavy tears, and being pinned there didn't help. Especially on the side of my face he'd hit.

"Take a good goddamn look." He growled loudly at me, "Because this is the last you'll see of the outdoors for a long fucking time. _See_?" He pushed me harder against the glass, dragging me back and forth a little, "If you're ever caught outside again, I'll hang you off the balcony myself. Am I fucking _clear_?" He jerked me against the glass to emphasize his point. The glass door rattled loudly against the force of his grip, and for a moment, I worried he'd break it with my head.

"Yes." I cried against the glass, hoping that'd make him let me go.

"Jack." I sobbed loudly at the sound of my mom's forceful, yet panicked voice, "You've made your point. Now let her go." He stayed in place, ignoring her.

"Jack." I was a little surprised at Eli's voice in the doorway, "Come on, man. That's enough. She gets it."

Thankfully, that seemed to get through to him, because he jerked me back, away from the glass. Forcing my head back to look up at him as he spun me around to fully face him.

"I'm going to teach you.." He told me softly, "I'll get it through your thick fucking head if it kills you."

That was the voice. As hard as it was to hear him over my own pounding heart and racing breaths, that was the same voice. The voice from every single one of my nightmares.

Just like the pain of my shoulder the night before, my fear intensified quickly. Racing to a near intolerable level until it reached something in me. It reached a point where it felt oddly like it couldn't raise any higher, before it so suddenly started to ease. Looking up at him, holding his gaze as much as I didn't want to, it stopped.

It suddenly dawned on me. He was right.

He seemed to read my expression as if I'd shouted my emotions out loud. He held me close that way, searching my eyes as if reading an intensely fascinating book. It couldn't have been more than half a minute, thirty short seconds of standing there, stuck in his grip as we looked at each other before I began to understand.

This was how it was. He was stronger than me. In every sense of the word. He always had been, and he always would be. Something I didn't understand before, I was finally grasping now.

"Jack." My mom tried again also, but he ignored her. Truthfully, I did too. Like I couldn't even hear her.

"Do we understand each other?" He asked me quietly.

"Please.." Was the only response I could gasp. Please let me go? Please make this, whatever this was, stop? That one word applied to so many different things. He held me tighter, his grip firming to a very painful level as he growled in irritation. Jerking me forward, almost yanking me off my feet in the process and drawing a handful of louder sobs from me.

"Do we.." He nearly whispered now, "Understand each other?"

"Yes." I replied, mainly just to end the pain, but it didn't take me long to realize that it wasn't just that. I did understand. I now understood better than I had yet.

I never should have left. I never should have tried to leave. I never should have even bothered to listen to Alice, because that was what led me here. This was it. This _was_ the end of the line. All the worry, all those days, those nights when I'd felt like giving up.. All those moments when I'd been forced to worry more for my family than I did for myself.. The guilt, the fear, the panic.. They were telling me that I'd made the wrong choice.

I never would have felt all of that at all had I just done what he told me to do.

It was stupid to try. Stupid to even bother hoping that anything would change. After all, if he could go through all this just to teach me this lesson, who was I to argue anymore?

That was such a hard realization to face, and though I never expected it to be easy, I had no choice but to face it now. I'd put it off for too long. Fighting what I always knew was the truth.

"You're right." I didn't quite recognize my own voice, even through the all-too-familiar sobs.

He seemed satisfied with that. Suddenly breaking eye contact before he turned around. Dragging me with him, and shoving me roughly away from him. Away from him like trash. My back hit the wall first, my head doing so next. Bouncing painfully off the wall before I could stop it. I lost my breath, and I hit the floor. It wasn't too hard, but it still stunned me enough to lay there motionless for a moment.

I must have fallen asleep right there, because I didn't remember anything more, but I wasn't really out that long. The next I remembered was waking up, still on the floor, but Jack was gone.

"Oh, thank God." My mom sighed, kneeled beside me. The relief was evident in her tone as she smoothed my hair back. Shaking my head, I forced myself to sit upright. Though she muttered something about wanting me to stay there, she helped me sit up.

The back of my head pounded painfully, but it was nothing I hadn't dealt with before. My back hurt more, and I knew I'd feel that wall for awhile. Looking back at the offending wall, it was completely unscathed, so I wasn't shoved hard enough to hurt it.

"Time's up!" I jumped roughly, groaning at the pain the action brought, at Jack's intensely pissed voice returning to the bedroom. Looking sharply in the direction of the door, I watched as he stepped into the room, but I noticed instantly that he wasn't talking to me. He spoke now into the phone in his hand, "What's it gonna be? I think I've been more than patient with you fucks!"

He paused, obviously listening to a response from whoever he was talking to.

"Alive?" He responded sharply, "The little bitch is still alive, but I can't guarantee she will be tomorrow."

I suddenly understood. In my dizziness, I figured it out. I knew who he was talking to. Hesitantly, I looked over at my mom. Swallowing back a whimper, I pushed myself further upright.

Oddly enough, the thought of Jack talking to Carlisle made me nervous again.

As if just remembering, Jack turned to me. I flinched as he suddenly tossed the phone my direction. My mom managed to catch it and held it out to me. Instantly, I shook my head. Cringing away from the phone like it was on fire.

"Leandra?" My mom seemed puzzled. I shook my head again. Giving up just a few minutes ago seemed to be the easiest way, and I didn't want to let go of that again. My life was so much easier when Jack was in charge of me. Why couldn't it be like that again?

Jack's sudden laugh had me look over at him, "Holy fuck, that worked."

"Leandra, don't do this." My mom suddenly understood. Like she knew exactly what I was doing. She continued to hold it up, "Talk. Talk to him, baby."

"I can't." I choked almost silently. I turned, crawling away this time. Talking to them, any of them, suddenly wasn't a relief anymore. It would only make things more complicated. I saw that now.

I jumped, yelping as Jack was suddenly there, pulling me off the floor. Whimpering in quiet fear as he held me up by my arm.

"What are you saying?" Jack demanded of me. I knew better than to not answer him anymore.

"I don't want to." I told him quickly, "I can't talk to him. I can't. I won't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're right." The truth spouted from me like water from a stubborn faucet that had finally been opened, "You're right. You've always been right. You'll always _be_ right. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't do it again."

He studied my expression for a moment before he spoke again, "Well, this changes things a bit, now doesn't it?"

"Leandra, listen to yourself." My mom sounded upset now. Like the things I said were physically painful for her to hear, but that wasn't my problem. That was her problem. The things I said now were physically relieving to me, and I couldn't help accepting that.

I yelped again as Jack suddenly yanked me to the side, away from him as I landed on the bed this time with a light bounce. He stole the phone from my mom's hand, but she didn't seem to mind that, standing only long enough to sit beside me.

"No." She told me firmly, "You're wrong. He's wrong."

"Stop it." I snapped at her, " _You're_ wrong. Can't you see that? I never should have left in the first place. I should have stayed. It was wrong of _me_ to leave. I-I should have just.. Just done what he told me. I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for them. Everything can just go back to the way things were now."

I looked over at Jack as he obviously listened in.

"The way things were before are not how they should have been." My mom insisted.

"But they were how they were, and I never should have tried to change that." I countered, "Aren't you tired of running? It could be easy again. I'll take anything over having to keep fighting. I'm tired of fighting, of running."

"Hear that?" Jack barked, " _Now_ tell me. What is your decision?" He paused again before his eyes narrowed, "I'm not negotiating with you. Make your choice! You know my goddamn terms! It's this little bitch, or your bitch."

Once again, I suddenly understood. He was trying to trade me for Esme, the one he'd focused on before. That was the only thing that made sense. He still wanted to, even though I would be staying? I might have wanted to stay now, but I did still care about them.

"Don't do it." I called, knowing he heard me.

"You shut the fuck up." Jack snapped down at me.

"Don't do it, Carlisle." I said again, only to receive another slap. Sending me sideways, right back into my mom's arms.

Even I knew how risky something like that was. There was no possible way Carlisle would do what Jack was asking of him. Not only would Esme probably face something far worse than death if he did get a hold of her, but there was also no guarantee that Jack would let me go.

I so suddenly lost hope, collapsing into trembling sobs. There was no way they'd ever go for that, but what if what I'd just been saying tempted them? I didn't want that. I wanted them to leave me here.

"Don't do it." I sobbed once more, "Just forget about me."

" _Shut up_!" Jack snapped, harsher now. I cringed back a little, squeezing my eyes shut. He spoke into the phone again, "I'm giving you until morning, Carlisle. That's all the time you have before someone's gonna pay."

With that, he hung up. He roughly shoved the phone into his pocket, before he reached for me.

"No." My mom snapped this time, "Go take a walk, Jack." Shoving his hand away.

"Excuse me?" He growled at her now, grabbing a fistful of her hair this time and jerking her to her feet and away from me. I squeezed my eyes shut again, shaking my head. It was only supposed to be me that suffered.

"I said no." She said again, despite her own pain, "No more. You're too mad, and you'll hurt her too much. You have me."

"Yeah." He hissed in reply, "Yeah, I do have you. Let's just see what we can do about this anger, shall we?" He rounded smoothly, dragging her violently with him. Hesitantly, I moved to follow as he headed for the door. I managed to stand up off the bed, but that was short lived.

"You stay there." He snarled, and I instantly retreated. Sinking down back onto my butt on the floor, "Move from that spot, and you'll be right where this bitch is."

With that, he left the room. Slamming the door violently behind him, rattling the wall. Moments later, I heard the front door slam, and silence. Petrified, I continued to sit there. Too afraid to move.

Hours later after having the chance to calm down a little bit, I didn't know what to do. I was torn between desperately needing to use the bathroom, and staying right where Jack told me to stay. Staring at the door across the room.

What would make him more mad? Making a mess on the carpet, or moving?

As far as I knew, he hadn't even come back yet, so maybe if I ran..

I had been sitting there for what felt like several hours. Even managing a short nap with my head rested against the side of the bed. More than long enough to calm down, and to force myself not to think about what had just happened tonight.

As much as that treatment had hurt, I knew full well it could have been a whole hell of a lot worse. I wished I'd thought to tell that to my mom, but I'd been too shaken up to think straight at that point. I really hoped she'd be okay when she got back.

Having the chance to calm down didn't do much for what I'd decided regarding staying here. I was still as convinced that Jack was right as I was before. I just worried that my family would disagree with my decision, and do something to get themselves hurt. I really didn't want that, but I also wouldn't change my mind.

Screw it, I thought. I jumped up as quickly as my aching body let me, and quickly made my way across the room to the bathroom. Returning only to crawl up onto the bed. Closest to the spot where Jack had told me to stay, on the off chance he wouldn't be pissed about that. Unfortunately, I laid on the side of the bed my mom usually laid. I'd move when she got back, though I didn't think it mattered much.

But when I woke up to see late morning daylight filtering in through the balcony door, I frowned in confusion. I was still in here alone. Giving another look around, I whimpered as I moved to stand up. My entire body ached, but it was tolerable.

I dared a peek out the bedroom door, finding the living room up ahead far less crowded than it usually was. Eli and Austin were the two I could see the closest, both looking back at me the second I opened the door.

"Leandra." Eli spoke up, "You should probably go back in there." I hesitated, not liking his tone. I knew he'd seen everything that happened the night before, but that didn't explain why he seemed so uneasy.

"Where's Jack?" I mumbled, "Is he here?"

"He's not here." Eli answered, "But you really should-"

"Where's my mom?" I asked this time, carefully stepping out of the bedroom. If he wasn't here, then my mom should be here. He wouldn't keep her with him if he was out doing whatever he did.

"She's.." Eli hesitated, looking up at a much taller Austin briefly, "She's not here either."

"Well, when is she coming back?" I asked, but oddly, I feared the answer to that question. That should have told me to be prepared for the next answer.

"She's not." Austin answered for him, "She won't be coming back." There was something I wasn't getting. Something my mind refused to grasp about what they were saying.

"What.. Why?" I asked anyway, my voice hardly working. They stayed quiet, but the way Eli slowly shook his head made me realize.

She wasn't coming back. Jack must have taken it too far the night before, and had killed her. She wasn't going to be coming back. I'd never see her again.

Somehow, it bothered me more now to know she wasn't coming back than it had before. She was gone. Sinking down, I sat right there in the hallway. Against the wall, trying hard to deal with the intense heartbreak I felt.

I was more stunned than anything. Shocked to think about it.

She'd died for me. Without even thinking about it, she threw herself between Jack and me, just to keep me safe. Giving no second thoughts about her own safety, because she knew. He was too mad to handle me again and leave me alive. She made sure he took her instead.

Esme had once done that for me, but this was somehow different. Knowing I told them last night not to make the trade, just so I knew Esme would be safe, it felt too much like I'd traded my mom for Esme. Like my mom was willing to place herself in danger this time, when Esme wasn't.

It was horrible to think about it like that, and I knew that.

"I'm so sorry." Eli told me over my silence, but that didn't help much, "For what it's worth, her, uh.. I mean, she was left in a place that she'd be found." That just made it worse. That just made me picture it even more.

One of the shittiest parts about all this, however, was the fact that I didn't cry. As much as I wanted to, as bad as I felt, I wasn't crying for her.

I looked over to see that Eli had taken a few steps closer, seeming lost about what to do. I really didn't want to be watched, so I forced myself up and returned to the bedroom. This time, I really wanted to blame Eli, even if it wasn't his fault. I'd been here two days, and already, everything was complete shit. There was no way things could get any worse.

I was given time. Several more hours on my own. Morning gave way to afternoon before Eli showed up at the door. He knocked first, but when I didn't say anything, he carefully pushed open the door. I kept my gaze on my hands, curled into a loose ball at the head of the bed.

"Hey." He spoke, but I didn't quite feel up to replying. All I did was glance over at him before looking back down. He stepped into the room a little further, "I brought you something to eat." He sounded so unsure.

Words failed me, yet again, so I just shook my head. He sighed, and finished crossing the room to the bed. Sitting on the side of it slowly.

"Leandra, I'm sorry." He said quietly, "I really am. I know it sucks.. Really bad, but just.. Just hang in there."

"Easy for you to say." I mumbled, "I don't have anyone anymore. Why bother?"

"You got me." He replied as if that would cheer me up, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Until he figures out that I like you." I countered, laying my head to the side against the wall, "Then he'll probably kill you too."

"Nah." He said, "He likes me too much."

"Whatever." I sighed, closing my eyes with a slight shake of my head, "You know what I mean. She was _just_ here. I was _just_ talking to her last night. Now she's gone. I just.. I let him take her. It should have been me, but he took her. What kind of a person am I? What kind of a person just lets that happen?"

"That wasn't your fault." He told me, obviously not liking what I was saying, "I heard everything. She did what she did so you could have a chance to change your mind. What were you thinking, saying those things?"

"I said them because they're true." I muttered, "I don't need _you_ to try to tell me that I'm wrong, because if I'm so wrong, then what are you still doing here? I'm just tired of running from him. He was right all along, Eli. I've been nothing but selfish, so it's just.. It's just better if I give up now before anyone else gets hurt because of me. No. It's better if I just.. If I just do what he says, and maybe I won't end up like her. Maybe I won't have to die. I'm not going anywhere, and I really hope he knows that."

He frowned, about to speak, but I spoke up again instead.

"Just leave me alone, Eli." I sighed again, "I'm not hungry, and I _don't_ want you to get into trouble for trying to feed me. You better go."

"Can I tell you something?" He asked, turning himself to face me better on the bed.

"Do I have a choice?" I grumbled.

"No." He replied honestly, and I just shrugged, so he spoke again, "When I was human, which was a really long time ago, by the way.. My parents.. Well, they were a lot like yours. My mom loved us.. My sister and I.. She loved us so much, but my dad.. He liked to pretend we never existed. Unless he was drunk, he never even looked at us twice."

Slowly, I looked over at him.

"My sister was ten." He went on, "And I guess.. Well, I grew up with the whole 'big brother' mentality. No matter what it was, I always felt like I had to look out for her, you know?" He paused for a nostalgic laugh, "She was always getting into one thing or another.." His small smile faded, "And she was _always_ pissing off our dad. No matter what she did, he was always mad at her. He'd never seriously hurt her.. Of course not, but he just didn't know when enough was enough. I tried to keep her away from him as much as I could, but.. I was just a kid then too."

He paused for a deep breath.

"The night that my parents both died, it wasn't a big loss to lose my dad." He murmured, "But to lose my mom.."

"What happened to them?" I asked quietly when he stayed silent for a minute.

"Car accident." He replied, "My mom had to go down to pick my dad up from the bar, because he was causing trouble, and he insisted on driving back." I winced, looking down briefly.

"I'm sorry." I felt like I should tell him that.

"It's okay." He said, "I've done my grieving over them." He sighed heavily, "But.. My sister and I didn't have anybody else. So.. The only thing they could do was put us into foster care. Unfortunately for us, we were split up. She went to one home while I was left in some boy's home until they could find somewhere for me to go.

"That drove me nuts, because they just wouldn't tell me anything about where she'd gone, or who it was looking after her. So on more than one occasion, I would sneak out to look for answers at the main office. I don't know why I kept trying. All they'd ever do was run me around in circles.

"Well, I was walking back to the home late one night, sometime in October. I should have left earlier, but I'd finally found someone who was giving me the answers I wanted, and I stayed to talk to him. Needless to say, I never made it back to the home that night, and I've been like this ever since." He gestured to himself, "I never got to find her. I never knew what happened to her."

"Why are you telling _me_ this?" I wondered quietly.

"Well.." He sighed again, "I guess in a way, you remind me of her. Of my sister, and everything I saw last night, well.. It bothered me in a way I haven't been bothered in a long time. The way he treats you.. After everything you told me.. Well, it's not right. Us out there.." He nodded toward the door, "We're the divided ones. Most of the others have no idea that we feel this way, but what he's doing is wrong. Today.." He hesitated, "Today.. Knowing that he took your mom from you.. And the way he did it.. It was the last straw for me."

I sat forward, interested now.

"They're not coming back tonight." He went on, "Saying something about having to take care of some things, but.. I'm really thinking.. That when they get back, you won't be here." I blinked in surprise.

"What about you?"

"We won't either." He assured me, "It takes some.. Really heavy consideration to make a decision like this, but I think we've reached it. We don't want any part of Jack anymore."

"So.." I mumbled, "You're saying you're just going to leave?"

"Yes." He replied, "And you're coming with us."

I was stunned. Really not sure what to say. He was waving freedom right in front of my face, and I wasn't already ready to go?

"No I'm not." I countered, confused, "I'm staying here, remember?"

What if this was a test? What if Jack put him up to this?

"Come on." He chuckled as if he didn't believe me, standing up.

"I'm staying." I eventually muttered, shaking my head. It had to be a test, but test or not, I'd already chosen.

"Don't." He sat back down, "Leandra, don't do that. Don't let him win. Just come with us. The door's right there." I shook my head, curling back up.

I spoke quietly, "You guys can go. Jack told me to stay here, so I have to stay here."

He still seemed confused, glancing back at Austin in the doorway. All Austin did was nod, before Eli looked to me again.

He smiled a little at me, "You might not like me for this, but.."

I waited for him to continue, but all he did was haul me up off the bed and over his shoulder. I squeaked at the odd position, clinging to him in fear of being dropped. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Eli, wait." I gasped.

"You're being sprung whether you want it or not." He said, carrying me from the bedroom, "You're our peace offering."

"You don't know what you're doing." Stupidly, I started to cry. I was getting so tired of having to warn people about Jack, "Put me down. Just leave me here. I'm staying here."

"No you're not." He replied, "You're just confused, and I'm pretty sure I've given it a lot more thought than you ever could have. Now be quiet, and just close your eyes. I'm _trying_ to be your knight in shining armor here, and you're ruining it."

"Put me down!" I yelled now, "I don't want to go back!" He wasn't listening to me, and yelling did nothing to change that.

Turning my head with a quiet sob, I could see Austin following us. Six more following Austin. Before I could really look at the others, Eli swung me up and around gently, catching me in his arms. Smiling down at the sound I made. Taking a breath, I took the hint and closed my eyes again. Yelling at him was doing no good, and I had very little choice in where we went as he held me.

All I could really do was cry. I didn't want to be taken back into all of this. My fight had been over! Now Eli was dragging me back into that fight.

The return trip was shorter than I remembered it being to get there.

"Okay." I opened my eyes at Eli's quiet direction. Sure enough, he stood holding me in the middle of the yard. I was looking right at the house. The house I never thought I'd see again.

I hardly had a chance to look at the house before everyone was outside, taking my attention. I could barely believe it. Almost numbly allowing myself to stand there as Eli carefully set me on my feet. I'd fully intended to turn and punch him in the face, but I found that now that I stood there, I didn't have that intention anymore.

I looked over at Eli, and he smiled a little as he gave a nod toward the house and my family, "Go ahead."

I didn't know what to do. Deeply torn now. I felt like shit, and I knew I had to look it too. I couldn't do anything to change that, and this confusion wasn't helping any. The fresh air only made it worse on me.

"Leandra?" Eli prompted, "Go." I continued to stand there with only a glance over at him. Until a careful nudge against my back seemed to move my frozen feet. The first step taken, I just continued taking them.

I was met half way by Esme. I fought the emotion, but I couldn't help it as I hugged her tightly. Crying quietly into her side. Looking over as Carlisle found our side as well. As confused as I was, as much as I didn't want to be here, I couldn't help missing them.

"Protect her." I only cried harder at Eli's request, "Keep her safe. If you'll let us, we'll help you with that."

"What's in it for you?" I wasn't surprised how skeptical Emmett was.

"I know." Eli nodded a little, "I know I don't have the best track record when it comes to you guys, but.. When all this first started, none of us knew Jack's reasons. It was stupid, I know, to follow Darren wherever he led us. That was before we knew that knowing Jack's reasons would make a difference, though. The more I saw, the more I got to know her.. Well, I guess you could say it was a really thorough wake-up call. I don't know when or if Jack will be back for her, but I do know that we won't be helping him."

"Thank you." Esme told him, sincerity in each word.

"Watching that.." He trailed off, "The way he treated them both.. It was too much for me to bear. Please don't thank me. She's the tough one."

She adjusted her hold on me, and I whimpered. Flinching a little in response. Concerned, she pulled back and looked down at me.

"But she might be hurt." Eli reported quietly, "I don't know much about humans, but I do know that being thrown against a wall does hurt them."

That got Carlisle's attention.

"Thrown?" Esme asked.

"He got rough with her last night." He admitted, "And he wasn't quite done.. Her mother stepped in for her, but she didn't make it."

"We're aware." Carlisle replied, "We got the call this morning."

"So.." Emmett spoke up again, carefully descending the steps as well, "You thought bringing her back in less than perfect condition would fix everything you did?"

"No." Eli replied, "But I did figure that bringing her back at all would be a start. Truthfully.. If I'm going to be completely honest.. I didn't want to see Leandra wind up where her mother is."

"I'm fine." I insisted, shaking off Carlisle's attempts to look me over.

"How exactly do you think you'd be able to help?" Alice asked, probably trying to smooth things over.

"I just want to keep her safe." Eli answered, "That's the first step, right? We're _not_ asking for your protection, if that's what you're thinking. We wouldn't have left if we weren't prepared to take care of ourselves. All we're asking is to let us help you help her."

"He's telling the truth." Edward murmured closer to the back, "Carlisle, I believe him."

Eli shrugged a little, "What can I say? She's grown on me."

"All of you feel the same?" Carlisle asked, finally addressing them himself.

"Mainly me." Eli replied sheepishly, "The others.." He glanced back at them, "They didn't like what Jack or Darren were doing any more than I did, but it was my decision to leave for good. They sort of just followed me."

"Hold on." Emmett found this amusing, "So you're saying that _you're_ leading _them_?"

"I guess so." Eli found that amusing as well, "I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I never told them what they should do. They've never had a chance to decide for themselves before."

"And they just do what you say?" Emmett asked again.

"Something like this isn't easy." Eli countered quietly, "Because honestly, you'll never find a group more loyal than these guys are. They were just pushed a bit too far lately. We're all for having a bit of fun, but senseless torture, the way Jack chose to pass his time, isn't our thing."

It was silent for a moment, and given the way the others looked to Carlisle, they were leaving it up to him.

Carlisle sighed, "I need to get a better look at her."

"I'm fine." I insisted again.

"You all are welcome inside if you'd like to discuss this a little more." Carlisle told him, and that was his answer. I could see why, though. It was pretty cold out here, and I just wanted to get warm. With my feet still bare, I was getting tired of them being cold.

Inside, I should have figured that Carlisle wasn't going to keep letting me ignore his attempts. He was far too worried about me, as he had every right to be. Given the brand new bruise blossoming across my face from the violent slap the night before, he knew he had every right to worry.

I was apparently going to be fine. The wall was, unbelievably, softer to hit than Jack. I'd be sore, of course, but I'd be okay. As he was looking me over, the others were in full conversational swing.

"Tell me." Emmett still seemed a little skeptical, "About how things work there." He was poking for more information. Probably to test how willing Eli was to cooperate.

"What do you want to know?" He asked in return.

"First off," Emmett replied, "Who in the hell would let Jack-ass be leader of anything?"

"He's.." Eli hesitated, "He's not the only one in charge." Emmett waited, so Eli sighed, preparing himself to get into the explanation before he spoke again, "There are three. Total. Jack only really has a couple under him. A handful, at best. Maybe six on a good day. He's pretty picky about who he considers part of his own. The ones you have to worry about are Darren and Asher.

"Darren has ten of his own, and I suppose you could say about twelve on loan from Asher." He paused, "I've never counted."

"On loan?" Jasper asked, interested.

"Instead of staying around to lead us," Eli explained, "Asher's got the rest of his coven to look after, so he sent us to Darren. We're originally a part of Asher's coven, but because he sent us to Darren on loan.." He trailed off.

"It was easier for you all to leave." Jasper understood now. So did I. Darren wasn't his original leader. Asher was. Which was how he knew so much about him, and why he refused to say much about him.

"It was still not an easy decision, though." Eli pointed out, "Most of these guys have never had to decide between what we're told to do and what's morally right. Like in this sense. Something like this has never come up. Before Jack came along, we've always exclusively belonged to Asher."

"I liked Gina." Austin quietly grumbled, obviously not happy.

"Stop." I muttered quietly to Carlisle, turning my head away. I was getting tired of having my bruised face inspected. With a sigh, he moved on to checking the rather hefty bump on the back of my head. I hadn't even noticed that. I cooperated, letting my hair fall away as he parted it in the back.

"Okay," Emmett accepted that, "So what the hell was that last night?" He gestured to me, so I knew what he was referring to.

"I can't tell you much on that." Eli replied, "I've never witnessed him treat anyone like that before. My thinking is she was just scared. After what happened, I'm not surprised. She was confused, and just needed a little help remembering where she belongs. Now more than ever."

"How hard did she hit?" Carlisle asked, obviously concerned as I was finally able to raise my head up again.

"The wall was fine." Eli offered, unsure, "It was still pretty hard. He used restraint, but he could have used more."

"Did she lose consciousness?" Carlisle asked, stepping around to look at my eyes.

"For about three minutes." Eli answered, "It was hard to really tell when she came around, because I wasn't in the room anymore."

"We all just kind of scattered when Jack left to get his phone." Austin added quietly.

"Sorry," Rosalie spoke up for the first time, her eyes on Austin, "Who are you?"

"That's Austin." Eli replied, "Sorry. Where are my manners?"

I felt really out of it. Really strange. I didn't feel right. Other than to protest, I hadn't said a word. I was aware of Esme's presence seated beside me, and Carlisle in front of me, but other than that, I wasn't quite focused on where anyone else was.

"Any dizziness?" Carlisle asked me, and I just shook my head, "Confusion? Headache?" I hesitated this time. Maybe that was why I felt so weird. I definitely felt confused.

Instead of answering, though, I focused on the conversation again. Looking away from him.

"You're such an expert." Alice spoke up, her eyes on Eli, "What are we supposed to do when he's got that many against us? For no reason."

"Well," Eli sighed, "For starters, I would bring those others back. Jack was bluffing almost the whole time. He hardly has ten with him at any given time. The other night was a rare exception. Darren might have a copy of my gift, but he can't do it for everyone like I can, so you'd most likely smell someone off if they were to come back."

"He wouldn't need to do it for everybody." I spoke, really saying something for the first time, "Just one or two if he wanted to sneak in."

"I can't change the appearance of anyone else." Eli explained, "Just me. Scents are different. Besides. I doubt he can do both at once if he even had it in him to try. Even if he did, he knows that that strategy wouldn't work again after Jack outed himself like that."

"Wait," Emmett said, "Change appearance?"

"That'd be me." Eli replied, his tone sheepish, "It's a trick. An illusion that makes me look to others like someone else. It wouldn't work for too long around Edward back there. He'd see right through what I was doing, I think."

"Holy hell." Emmett chuckled a little, "That's cool."

"I'm pretty useful when there isn't a mind-reader to tell on me." Eli grinned, before he went on, "Other than that, though, it'd be best to look for an opening. A way through to Jack himself. A weakness."

"He has no weakness." Jasper was getting frustrated.

"Everyone has a weakness." Eli countered, "You're thinking too small."

"Leandra?" I looked over at Mikah's arrival. In all the emotion outside, I hadn't noticed that I hadn't seen him. In the time it took for me to look over, he crossed the room and plucked me up into a hug. I bit my lip, barely managing to keep the cry back at the pain the movement caused

"Be careful." Esme immediately told him, and he mercifully let me onto my feet, "She's a little sore."

"Why?" Mikah asked, "What's wrong? What happened? What'd he do?" He looked over, spotting Eli, and if looks could kill, he'd drop dead.

"Calm down." I mumbled, looking down, "It wasn't him. Eli helped me."

"Easy, tiger." Emmett muttered, actually standing between Eli and Mikah.

"Back to what I was saying," Eli went on as if Mikah hadn't just wanted to kill him, "You need to stop thinking so small. Think about it. What does he care about more than himself?"

Emmett snorted, "Nothing?"

"You would think so." Eli replied, "But you'd be wrong. Come on." He smirked, "You can do better than that. What is the one thing he risks everything for?"

"I don't think they're in the mood to guess, Eli." I said, sitting back down, "Neither am I."

"His weakness is you." He told me, "You're one of the only things he'd risk so much for. To try so hard to get a hold of. It makes the most sense." He turned to pace a little, "You've been his goal this entire time. Something he'd stop at nothing to get. You're his obsession, therefore, his weakness."

I had to admit, he had a point.

"A close second would be that sister of his." He went on, "He risked _so_ much by contacting her. Much less more than once. Even knowing the risks, against everything, he contacted her. About what? About _you_."

I hesitated, looking over at Esme beside me. I was confused, but I did understand what he was saying. He definitely did have a point, but..

"What good does that do?" I asked, "It's not like I can do anything. He almost killed me yesterday because I tried to get away."

"The point is," Eli shook his head, "That you're what he wants the most. What he cares about more than himself or his own safety. Now, the question is, what would be the best way to keep someone from getting a hold of what he cares about more than his own safety?"

"It's already been proven that more of us doesn't work." Jasper pointed out quietly, "No matter what we do, he always seems to find a way. Believe me, we've thought about this a lot."

"True." Eli sighed, crossing his arms, "Even without me there anymore, he still has Darren. He might not be able to do as thorough of a job getting through, but he still has a shot."

Frowning in thought, Eli continued to pace.

"Wasn't Leandra living with his sister for a time?" He asked, looking over, "A while back, during the summer when we were busy running you in circles."

"She was." Carlisle confirmed, "But he'd found her."

"He'd found her." Eli nodded, "But could he reach her?" He sighed, "She was obviously safe where she was. Why did she come back here?"

"She chose to." Alice answered.

"And you let her?"

"We're not going to force her to stay somewhere she doesn't want to." She replied incredulously, "This is her home."

"Her home, yes." Eli murmured, "But is it the safest? That's what you should be focused on. That human family is her shield. It goes without saying. Leandra might be Jack's weakness, but she is also yours. You'd all be stronger as a group with nothing but each other to protect."

"But.." I frowned, "But Jack said-"

"Do you really think Jack would tell you _anything_ even remotely true?" Eli asked, looking to me, "In my experience, he tells you whatever he thinks you need to hear to get his way."

"What about Aro, though?" I insisted.

"What about Aro?" Eli asked in reply.

"Jack said he'd be mad if I stayed with Heather."

"I'll admit I don't know much about the guy, but honestly. I think he'd be happier with you with humans than with our kind. If it's the rule he's worried about, then with humans is where you belong. Not here."

"Eli is right." Austin added, "In Aro's mind, humans belong with humans. He'd most likely approve of you trying to do the right thing."

"Austin knows that side of things much better than I do." Eli admitted, glancing over at him.

"So what are you saying?" Emmett frowned, obviously not liking this.

"All you're thinking about are solutions that keep her here." Eli said, "You need to stop thinking so small. Especially when the answer is staring you right in the face. Jack's sister.. She's the other half of his weakness. Somewhere that he can't physically follow her. He knew that, which is why he insisted that she stays here."

I looked down.

"What I'm saying is.." Eli sighed, "The best way to keep her safe is to let her go."

"Not happening." Mikah had heard enough, "And I don't think I like what you're telling us."

"Well.." Eli muttered, clearly backing down, "It's something to think about, anyway."

I kept my eyes down, knowing full well that Eli made a lot of sense now. Given the way nobody else argued with him, I knew they saw it too. Mikah was just hurt that he was right.

After a lengthy silence, Eli spoke again.

"I can tell you guys have a lot to talk about." He mumbled, "We'll be outside if you need anything."

"Thank you, Eli." Carlisle murmured, and out of the corner of my eye, I watched them leave.

It was silent for a bit after he left, and to me, it seemed like nobody wanted to say anything. Though I knew they watched me, I kept my eyes down. I was still trying to adjust to being home again, despite not being gone for too long. A lot had happened in the short time I'd been gone.

I had to force my mind to think. My thoughts wanted to freeze, but I knew I had to say something.

"The first night.." I finally spoke, "We.. My mom and me, we stayed in some building somewhere in the middle of the woods. It was cold out there, but a fire had been built for us, and Austin had given me his coat. Because I was cold."

I waited, but nobody said anything. I knew they were listening, though.

"The next day, we moved to the apartment." I went on quietly, "Eli was the one to move us, because Jack had gone somewhere. He'd left, gone to do something, but at least it was warmer there."

Having only had a chance to see my back, Carlisle stepped closer as I reached over and pulled the sleeve of my shirt up over my shoulder. Showing him that bruise for the first time. It was about as bad as the bruise across my face, but I hardly felt it now.

"I was on the floor." I explained at his obvious concern, "Jack was mad, and I was afraid to move, so he moved me. I guess he dislocated my shoulder when he moved me. It's still a little sore, but it's okay now. My mom fixed it for me."

"How?" Carlisle asked, and I looked over at him.

"She helped me lay down on my stomach, with my arm and shoulder hanging off the bed. She didn't pull it or anything, but sort of helped it get back to where it should be by holding my wrist." He nodded at my explanation, clearly knowing what I was talking about.

"That was the right move." He said, "Forcing it could cause more problems than solve them."

"She said her mom taught her how to do that." I replied, "That she'd had to do that for her a couple times."

I relented, patiently allowing him to inspect my shoulder. Moving it every which way as he requested of me. As he was looking it over, I went on.

"The next day.." I muttered, "Yesterday, I guess.. Eli came into the bedroom just to bring me something to eat since Jack wouldn't let me eat. I knew the rule, that we weren't allowed to go out onto the balcony, but Eli had opened the door anyway. Probably so we could talk.

"Something I told him made him mad." I sighed, "So he left the room before he remembered to close the door. I shouldn't have done it, and I know that now, but I wasn't really thinking then. I took a piece of paper I'd written Carlisle's number down on, and went outside. I crumpled up the paper and threw it onto the balcony above ours. I don't think it stayed, or they just haven't come outside yet, but anyway.. I tried to climb up on the railing of our balcony to reach the one above ours, but I slipped. Eli caught me, which is probably a good thing, since we were four stories up."

"Leandra." Esme sighed, but she wasn't scolding me.

My eyes burned in the emotion I still felt over the situation, my voice tight as I went on.

"I got mad at him." I whimpered, "I got mad at him for not letting me go. Even though I knew it wasn't his fault. It was just something stupid I'd done, but.. Someone else told Jack what I did, so when he got back that night, he was mad."

I paused for a shaky breath, holding it for a moment before I went on.

"He wasn't done after he hung up with you." I explained with a calming sniffle, "He was still mad enough to keep going at me, but.. My mom wouldn't let him. She told him to leave me alone, and that he had her. So he took her instead. He dragged her out of the bedroom, and that was the last time I saw her. I-I.. I didn't even have a chance to tell her not to do it. E-Everything just.. Happened so fast.."

"It's not your fault, Leandra." Jasper had caught on. Despite how I had yet to officially cry over it, and my eyes remained try now.

"It feels like it is." I admitted, looking over at him, "I just.. Keep thinking about what must have happened.. And it's driving me crazy."

"Don't." He replied, "Don't think about that."

"I can't help it." I mumbled, looking back down as I did so. My voice quieted even more as I shook my head, "I just keep hurting people."

Once more it was silent before I took another deep breath and looked over at Carlisle.

"Was he right?" I asked, "Was Eli right? Is that the only way?"

"No." Mikah answered instead, "He's not." I sighed, glancing over at him. Him and his denial weren't helping.

"I don't want to be lied to." I muttered, "I want to know."

"He's wrong." Mikah insisted.

"I don't know." Carlisle finally murmured, "It's definitely worth thinking about, but of course, I'm a little hesitant to believe him." I nodded a little, appreciating the honest answer.

"I believe him." I mumbled, "I don't think he would have brought me back here if he was still working for Jack."

Shaking his head, Mikah turned and left. Following Eli outside.

All at once, my emotions fell. Just like the fear I felt while looking at Jack the night before, it was uncontrollable. A tidal wave of pain and emotion falling over me, until it numbed itself just as fast.

A soft, but aching sort of depression hitched my breathing for just a moment, but yet, I still didn't cry. My eyes stayed dry as I focused on the carpet under my feet.

"Leandra?" Jasper had caught on, but I just shook my head a little.

"I don't know." I muttered, my voice hardly above a whisper, "It's different now."

"What do you mean?" Esme asked, concerned.

"Yesterday," I replied, "All I wanted was to come home, but now.. It feels wrong. Like I'm not supposed to be here. Like I should have stayed. Like I should go back."

"You're joking, right?" Emmett asked, and I immediately shook my head again.

"I wish I was." I sighed quietly, "I tried to stay. I didn't want to come back, but Eli picked me up."

"Why?" Alice asked, surprised.

"I _know_ it's stupid." I whimpered, "But it's like.. It's like knowing it's stupid doesn't change how I feel. Now, I'm just mixed up and I don't know how to fix it."

"It's going to take some time." Esme assured me, "You're just confused."

"I couldn't help overhearing." Eli stepped back inside, shaking off Mikah's attempts to stop him, "I think I can explain that." I looked over as Eli suddenly sat to my other side. Nobody seemed upset about that, least of all me. Except for Mikah, who followed him again.

"Dude." Eli finally barked at him, "Chill out, would you?"

"It's okay, Mikah." I mumbled, "Leave him alone. I wanna hear what he has to say." Giving him a look, Mikah reluctantly stepped back, finding Carlisle's side. Satisfied with that, Eli nodded a little and turned to look at me.

"I don't really know all the details." He told me, "But you said it feels like you shouldn't have left? Is that why you wanted to stay so bad?"

I nodded, looking down, "It's not that I wanted to stay, but that it was wrong for me to leave."

"Jack.." Eli sighed, "He does that to people. I've never actually seen him do it, but with all the others he has on his side, there were tons at first that didn't really want to get involved. Ones that wanted nothing to do with whatever this was." He gestured lightly around the room, "But it really wasn't that hard for him to change their mind. One minute they were ready to leave, and the next, they were staying to hear him out.

"I don't know if it's an ability, or what, but I do know that it was weird. I never asked, knowing what asking would imply. It just seemed like it was way too easy for him to convince those others to risk everything for something so small. For _no_ reason, and definitely no real benefit to them."

"So.." I frowned a little, "You think he used an ability on them?"

"I don't know." He admitted, "But what happened last night.. The way he was holding you, now I'm not so sure. I've never seen him like that."

"I've never felt like that." I admitted right back, "I've never felt like _this_ before. Normally, I'm always so happy to be home."

"Sure sounds like he did _something_." Eli replied.

"Am I going to be stuck like this?" I had to ask, now worried, "Am I going to keep wanting to go back?"

"Again," He said, "I don't know."

"If it was an ability like that," Mikah spoke up, "Then how were _you_ able to leave?"

"We followed Asher." Eli explained, not at all put off by his tone, "It's rare for us to question him, so when he told us we were now under Darren, we didn't. It was all his idea to help Jack out, and never our decision to stay to begin with, so I guess something like that wouldn't have been needed. Like I said, we're pretty damn loyal, but there came a point where we just realized our leader had just lost his mind."

"Do you think Darren will be pissed when he finds you guys gone?" I needed to change the subject. I needed to distract myself.

"It's not really Darren you all need to worry about." He replied quietly, "Sure, he's got a whole bunch of gifts under his belt, but he's not the one you have to focus on. That would be Asher."

"Asher, then." I muttered, "Will he be pissed?"

"Oh," Eli laughed a little, "Definitely. As far as I know, he's never had any of his members just up and leave like we did, so that's the downside. I don't know what he'll do because of it, but I do know that if he comes looking here, which he probably will, I'll make sure he knows it was my idea. Not any of yours."

"Can't you cover scents?" Mikah asked.

"That doesn't do much good when he knows right where I'd be, considering Leandra is gone too." Eli replied regretfully, "It won't take a genius to figure out what happened, and I'm not about to just drop her off here and take off to cover our own asses. I didn't do this to get any of you into trouble. I meant what I said before. I did this because she couldn't stay there. She never should have been there, and if I can do anything to help out, I want to do it. Just name it."

That seemed to shut Mikah up.

"We deeply appreciate your help, Eli." Carlisle murmured quietly.

"I didn't know before." Eli said, looking to Carlisle, "None of us knew what this whole thing was about. We were never given any reasons or details. We knew enough to gather that Jack knew her, and had some sort of grudge against all of you, but that was it. Until I talked to her.. I never imagined what it was about. Again, please don't thank me. I'm just trying to right some of my wrongs." He shrugged a little, "I gotta live with myself."

"How old are you, kid?" Emmett asked, and I looked over. I had to admit, I was curious too.

"Physically," Eli replied, "Thirteen. About two months into my thirteenth year alive. _Other_ wise, I'm just over fifty."

"Fifty?" Emmett asked, obviously joking, "Aww, he's just a kid." Thankfully, Eli knew he was joking and could easily take a joke.

"Where's my juice box?" Eli asked in reply, prolonging the joke.

"Not it." I muttered, surprising everyone, but making Eli actually laugh. Looking over at him, I was pretty surprised myself when I actually smiled a little.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Missy." He told me with his own grin.

"Good." I replied, "Because that would suck."

Emmett spoke up, "Technically, he'd be the one- Never mind."

"Well, this has been fun." Mikah grumbled, turning and pacing toward the door. I could easily see that he was still upset. He normally never acted like this. Not only did he not see the humor in what we were talking about, he also didn't want to let go of his grudge toward Eli.

"Excuse me." It surprised me a little that Carlisle was going to follow him. I hoped Mikah wasn't in trouble for walking out like that.

"Poor guy wants to hate me." Eli sighed, glancing toward the door, "But I get it. I do. I'm part of the reason nobody caught Jack sooner, so it's gonna take awhile to make up for that. If I even could."

After the light moment, somehow I felt even worse now.

"Look here, kid." Eli muttered, seeing my expression fall again, "I can't say for sure what happened to make you feel like this, but I do know that here is where you belong. At least for now. You don't belong with him."

"What am I gonna do until then?" I had to ask, "I don't like feeling like this."

"Just give it time." He replied, "That's the only thing you can do."

"And.." I muttered, "What about.. What you said before..?"

He shook his head, "Believe me, I'm trying to think of something I might have missed. Anything that'll help them protect you, but I don't see many options. Where you're his weakness, you're theirs too. I'm _not_ telling you this to try to make you feel bad. I just want you to see it for how it is. Until all this gets sorted, I really do think you'll be safest around other humans. As funny as that sounds." He paused, "Unless.." He trailed off, only irritating me as he clearly just thought of something.

"Unless?" I prompted, perking up slightly.

"She will never go for that." Edward spoke from the back, "Not to mention how that would only be inviting more trouble."

"Not necessarily." Eli stood up, "Just hold that thought. Austin?" I frowned a little, watching him turn for the door, crossing the room. Just as he reached the door, Mikah was coming back inside. Eli grabbed his arm and tugged him back around.

"What the hell?" Mikah obviously protested as Eli dragged him back outside with him.

"What's he thinking?" I asked, looking over at Edward.

"Just.." He muttered, probably in thought, "Don't worry about it yet."

"Okay.." I frowned in response, watching as he followed Eli outside, "I guess I shouldn't worry about it yet, then."

Honestly, I doubted I had it in me to worry anyway. I wasn't exactly worried. Just curious. I was mostly exhausted, however. Despite how much time I'd spent the last few days sleeping, I was exhausted. In more than one sense of the word.

I wasn't feeling any better by the time I did give in and go to bed. I had a feeling that that had a lot to do with the fact that this wasn't exactly an emotional problem. I was convincing myself to feel like this. Even I could tell the difference.

Esme seemed prepared to sit with me as I laid down, but I quickly spoke up.

"You don't have to stay." I mumbled, "I know you probably wanna talk to the others."

"It's okay, honey." She replied, smiling sadly.

"I kind of just wanna be alone." I admitted, hoping not to offend her. She seemed surprised, but not offended.

"Okay." She murmured after a minute, "But if you change your mind, we'll be right out here."

"I know." I nodded a little. Taking the hint, she smoothed my hair back. I allowed that, but wasn't as comforted by it as I used to be. She stood up and turned for the door before I spoke again, "Can you turn off the nightlight too?"

Puzzled, she looked back at me, "Are you sure?"

"I don't need it anymore." I sighed, turning over onto my side, "Please? And close the door?"

My room, as it was, seemed way too open for my taste. I wanted dark and closed in.

"Of course." She replied after another moment, doing as I asked.

I laid awake for awhile after she left, just staring at the wall in the dark. Whatever way I was feeling, including the numbness, I sincerely hoped was solved by the time I woke up. Even my room felt wrong. My own bed. This whole situation felt wrong. I wasn't okay with being here anymore, despite knowing full well that this was my favorite place just a few days ago. I was homesick for a place I wasn't supposed to be.

My bed felt too warm. Too soft, and I knew I'd never fall asleep here. So I threw a pillow onto the floor and climbed out of bed. Sitting on the pillow, I sat curled up beside the bed on the floor. Upright, leaning back against the bedside table. In much the same position I'd sat in for hours the night before while I'd waited for my mom to get back.

"What am I doing?" I whispered to myself, "What's wrong with me?" Despite knowing how different I was acting from my usual self, I did nothing to try to fix it. I somehow already knew that it would do no good to try to fix it.

So I closed my eyes, adjusted how I sat, and promptly fell asleep this time.

I shouldn't have been surprised when I woke up in tears, and truthfully, I wasn't. While I'd slept, I'd recalled the night I woke up to both Jack and my mom talking in the dark. Among lots of other things, but that was what stood out to me the most when I opened my eyes in the dark room. The sudden light that followed the opening of the door had me closing my eyes again.

I knew right where I was, so I wasn't exactly afraid. Just hurting. It also didn't really help that someone was trying to pull me out of my position. I resisted the gentle hands trying to stand me up, shaking them off and pushing away until I had a chance to see passed the sudden brightness from the hallway.

My drawn up knees, tight to my chest, supported me easily in my quest to scoot back against the table behind me. My toes braced against the floor while I hid my arms as far behind my knees as I could. Just trying to get my bearings back.

It was Esme in front of me. Carlisle behind her, Mikah behind him. I wasn't used to this many people anymore. In just days, pretty much everything had come undone. Where I found comfort in the temperature of their hands before, I couldn't stand it now. Now, I pulled away from it.

I just needed time. I knew that, but they weren't giving me that. I seemed to be stuck in my memories, if only for a minute. Stuck remembering things I didn't want to remember, but not willing to let go.

The things that happened really weren't as bad as they could have been. Compared to the rest of my experience with Jack, but they were bad enough. Bad enough to stick, and to influence my behavior now. Whether I wanted to let it or not.

"Stop." I finally sniffled, shaking my head and pulling away yet again, "Please. Don't. Please, I-I can't.." I trailed off, looking down. Esme seemed concerned, but I couldn't blame her. Not for worrying about me. I just didn't know how to tell her where I was right then.

"Sweetie," She spoke, "It's okay. I'm just trying to help you."

"I know." I sniffled again, nodding, "But.. I-I can't.." I couldn't be helped by anyone but me, and she wasn't getting that. I needed to come around on my own, and for the first time, I was really unsure if I wanted to.

"Come on, princess." I jumped a little as Mikah suddenly joined Esme's side. I shook my head immediately after my flinch, backing up as much as the table was letting me.

"Um.." I glanced up at Eli in the doorway, "I'd give her space."

"Then you can give her space." Mikah snapped back at him over his shoulder, "I think we know what's best-"

"She doesn't look too happy at what you consider to be best for her." Eli replied, "Just pointing out the obvious."

"Just keep your observations to yourself." Mikah muttered, turning back to me. He tried to reach for my hand as well, but he got the same reaction Esme got. Me retreating.

"Stop." I said again, firmer this time.

"Come on, princess." He said again, "It's-"

"I don't need you to tell me that it's okay!" I finally snapped myself, "It's not!" Mikah wasn't the only one surprised, but I hid mine a little better.

"I just want to be left _alone_!" I added, "Just leave me _alone_. _Please_." I fully recognized the way I acted now. It reminded me heavily of the way I acted before I ran away to Heather. I was drawing back again, only this time, I didn't even want to go to Heather. I didn't want anybody.

I didn't want to be comforted, I didn't want to be helped. I didn't want any contact whatsoever. I just wanted to be with myself. I just wanted to be left alone. I was telling them that in every way I could.

"I told you so." Eli didn't sound smug. He sounded disappointed.

"What happened there?" Mikah snapped again, turning away to face him a little more.

"Think about it." Eli finally returned his tone, "After being picked up, tossed here and there, pinned, and dragged or smacked around, is it really so much for her to ask to not be touched? Really think about it. Almost none of her movements were her own. Give her some damn space. Let her belong to herself again."

It was silent after that, having them look to me as I kept my eyes down. I didn't say anything to confirm what Eli was saying, but I wasn't denying it either. For once, Mikah wasn't understanding me. He normally read me like an open book, but it was like that book had just closed.

"He's right." Carlisle finally spoke, "I think she needs space." I closed my eyes in both sadness and relief as Esme stood up. Though I knew she really wanted to help me, she was beginning to see that this was the only way that she could.

Mikah stayed there, though, looking at me. I couldn't even look at him, keeping my gaze to the side and resting my chin lightly on my knees. I couldn't explain it.

"Mikah." Carlisle prompted again. Thankfully, that got him to move. My head ached in the worst way, and all I wanted was to just go back to sleep, but I knew I couldn't.

"Mikah." I spoke this time, and he paused, turning to look back just as they were filing out the door. I whimpered, struggling back a sob, "Stay?"

He was back beside me in an instant, but I was grateful to see that he knew to keep some distance between us. The others seemed to hesitate as well, so I nodded at them. I wanted them to stay as well.

Esme approached slower than Mikah had, which I appreciated.

"It isn't you guys." I was losing the struggle with my tears fast, "It's me."

"No, sweetie." Esme carefully sat on the side of my bed, also giving me space. Eli and Carlisle both stayed back by the door.

"You're just confused." Mikah offered quietly.

"I'm not confused." I whimpered, looking up at him, "I'm scared. I don't know what's wrong with me." I paused to breathe a sob, "I-I.. I told him I would stay."

Understanding crossed his features as he carefully kneeled in front of me. Concern quickly coloring that understanding as he spoke, "You feel _guilty_?"

Shamefully, I just nodded. Of course it was more than that, but I couldn't exactly explain any other emotion I felt. More concerned now, he looked back at Eli and Carlisle. I glanced over to see Eli shrug a little, seeming lost.

"Carlisle?" Austin had arrived in the doorway, "If this is something you want to move forward with, I need your decision. We may not have much time."

Of course I had no idea what he was talking about, but that hardly mattered any. I was more focused on my own shame. Without taking his eyes off me, Carlisle shook his head and sighed.

"The risks.."

"Are something unavoidable." Austin finished, "But consider the risks of not moving forward with this. I think the potential benefits outweigh the potential risks, Carlisle, but ultimately, it _is_ up to you."

Turning a little to fully look back at him, Mikah spoke up, "I think we should do it. Maybe he can do something to help her. I'll try anything at this point, and you said yourself. If anyone knows anything about stuff like this, it'd be him."

Instead of asking, I just squeezed my eyes shut against the headache I had, laying my head against the side of the mattress. It was getting harder to deal with. Especially with the conversation I didn't understand.

After only a few more seconds, Carlisle finally looked over, "Okay. Go ahead."

 **A/N: Holy crap, time flies. I haven't had much chance to focus on this before today, so I apologize if it seems a bit rushed. I've just been so busy with everything that needs taken care of in RL land.  
THANK YOU! To those that reviewed! THANK YOU! You have no idea how much I appreciate you!**  
 **Eighteen is looking like the last chapter of this story, you guys. :( I'm seriously hoping to get at least a few chapters of the next story written out before Little KNeu gets here in June so I can have a head start. It's so hard to believe that so much time has passed already.**  
 **Anyhoo.**  
 **Until Eighteen, my friends!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

I did eventually move to the bed. I needed more sleep than my current position was allowing me to get, so I had little choice in climbing up onto it. I had no idea why I bothered, though. I didn't feel any better when I woke up. I was still just as tired as I was before I slept. Like I never slept at all. I was still just as mixed up, unsure what I was supposed to feel.

With a deep breath and an exhausted yawn, I rolled onto my back. Staring up at the ceiling, with just a brief glance toward the door at Esme's almost hesitant arrival.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, and it bothered me to know that I really wasn't sure about replying. How was I supposed to respond to that when I had no idea myself?

"I don't know." I admitted, "Not good." She made it to the side of my bed just as I reached up and covered my eyes, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes with a voice-breaking whimper, "I don't know what I'm doing. I just wanna be normal again."

"Honey, whatever this is, it's not your fault." She assured me, and I could tell how much she wanted to hug me.

"That doesn't help me." I sniffled, keeping my eyes covered.

"The reason for all this could be a mix of things." She added quietly, "One, you were confused. Forced into believing that you had no choice but to give in, so you're still stuck that way for now, until you have a chance to feel safe again. Add on what happened to your mother, and that just makes that worse. It could have nothing to do with anything he did specifically."

"It's not that." I shook my head a little, "It's more than that."

"I know it feels that way-"

"No." I insisted, "It's not that. If it was just that, then why do I feel guilty? Why didn't I want to come back? I wasn't afraid to stay. I wanted to stay, because I knew it was easier that way, but it was _more_ than that. Now, all I want is to go back, but I _know_ I shouldn't feel like that, so it's like I'm being pulled apart.

"I'm scared, a-and I'm tired, and I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be hugged, I don't wanna be told that it's gonna be okay, because I _know_ it won't. I-I.. I can't fix it. I don't wanna fix it, and that's what scares me. It scares me enough to wanna fix it, but then I just go right back to not wanting to fix it, and I'm stuck."

That was the best way I knew of how to explain it, but by now, I was in full blown tears. An edge of desperation in my tone.

"I know." I cried into my hands, "I know he was wrong, but to me, he's right. He's right about everything. Everything.. Everything about everything isn't the same as it was before. He was right. Why? Why is he right when I know he's wrong? Why do I wanna go back? Why don't I feel okay with staying here? What am I doing?"

"Breathe, sweetheart." Esme murmured, concerned. I did as she suggested, taking a deep, sniffling breath in.

"He's wrong." I just went on, "He's not right. Everything he's ever done and said to me is wrong. He's wrong, but he is right. I _know_ he's wrong, but I should have listened to him."

"Oh, honey." She murmured, "Don't say that." This was killing her, but it was killing me more. I bit back anything more I wanted to say, though. I didn't want to hurt anybody, but they had to know how badly I was hurting.

"I'm so tired." I sobbed instead, "Even when I sleep, I feel like I haven't slept. My head hurts, but.. It doesn't hurt. It hurts in a way it's never hurt before. It hurts, but I don't feel it, and all I want to do is sleep, but that doesn't help."

I was breathing just fine, despite the sobs, so I knew she wasn't too concerned about that. She had to see now, though, that I wasn't okay. I wasn't normal. I'd never really been normal, but now I was even further from normal. Far from it.

"Honey," Esme said, "Sit up. Please." I felt her attempts to pull my hands from my eyes, but all I did was flinch away.

"Don't." I gasped shakily, but I did sit up. I did look over at her, and though the look I saw in her expression did make me feel horrible, I couldn't change that. I took a few deep breaths, forcing myself to calm down enough to quiet my tone, "I'm _so_ tired."

It was silent for a moment before my attention was taken to the doorway.

"Okay," Eli mumbled, "Nobody ever acted like that."

"Back to the drawing board." Emmett muttered in reply, turning away. Eli stepped to the side as Carlisle came walking in. A glass of water in one hand, and small medication bottle in his other.

I understood immediately, "Will those make me sleep?" My usual question. He sighed, obviously expecting a fight.

"Yes," He replied, "But-"

I reached up, holding my hand out without another word and cutting him off. I was no longer against sleeping, which seemed to surprise him. Hesitantly, he glanced to Esme before he handed me the glass of water first.

I took the small pill without a moments hesitation, downing the water along with it. I had to admit that the water helped immensely at helping me breathe. I realized then that I had yet to eat or drink anything since I'd been home. Until now.

With a slightly trembling hand, I reached over and placed the now empty glass on the table before sitting back and squeezing my eyes shut. Willing the medication to work faster.

I was sure my racing heart helped move it along faster, because it really didn't take longer than a few minutes before I found myself calmer. I took that as my cue to lay down, curling up tight on my side in the silence of the room.

Just like with the cold medicine, but stronger, my eyes soon grew heavy. Both Esme and Carlisle stayed with me, but I was sure that that was more for their benefit than mine this time. I didn't fight sleep. I embraced it, reached for it.

When I woke, however, I was pretty sore. It didn't take me long to realize that I hadn't moved from the spot I laid down in. I was surprised to find that Esme hadn't moved from my side either. I laid there for probably a few minutes, trying to shake it off before I spoke.

"I never saw her sleep." I admitted, "My mom. I slept a lot, but whenever I woke up, she was never sleeping, and she always looked tired."

Obviously not knowing what to say, she stayed quiet.

"I haven't cried about it yet." I went on, "Maybe because I already knew. She might have still been alive, but she was already dead with what Jack had her for. I think she knew that too. I wouldn't sleep either if I knew that."

"It sounds like she was pretty brave." She offered quietly.

"She was." I replied, "For the first time, I guess, she was braver than I was. Especially the other night. She just told him off like she wasn't afraid of him at all."

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" I knew she was hoping that sleep had fixed me. As much as I wanted to make her feel better, I couldn't lie.

I sighed, "Calmer, but still the same. Knowing it's wrong to feel this way doesn't change anything."

She sighed as well, but nodded. Clearly disappointed, but not at me. I knew the difference.

"I can think now, though." I offered, hoping that helped her, sighing as I sat myself upright, "I think I did some thinking while I was asleep. I don't remember dreaming, but.. Something Eli said made me think."

"What were you thinking about?"

"I think I figured it out." I mumbled, "I think I know what's wrong with me, or what he did to me. It's more than what you said it was. I know it."

"What do you think it is?" She prompted quietly. Though I knew she was just trying to keep me talking, I needed to explain.

"Remember what I said?" I started, "A long time ago, when you and me talked about Jack one of the first times?" She waited, probably seeing what I was getting at, so I went on, "You asked if he was influential, or good with people, and I said he was. That most of the time, I couldn't even tell when he was lying. It was true. Maybe that has something to do with something he can do now. Influential.. Means making people think and do things you want them to think and do, right?"

I looked back up to see the understanding in her eyes, as if she'd just thought of that as well.

"That doesn't explain how different you're acting than anyone else." Eli had arrived, obviously interested. Mikah in tow.

"She's human." Esme pointed out, looking back at him, "Humans can handle far less than our kind can, Eli. If you're right about it being an ability of some sort, then he most likely wouldn't know its strength yet."

"Remember what he said?" I asked him, "I know you heard it too. I just forgot about it until now."

"Wow." Eli sighed heavily, running through his hair, "Okay."

"What did he say?" Mikah pressed.

"He said, 'It worked'." I replied, "I didn't know what he meant at the time, but now I think I do."

"He could have just meant the intimidation." Mikah denied quietly, "From what Eli says, it was pretty intense."

"It was more than that." I immediately argued, "Believe me, I was there, and everything changed after that."

Eli finally seemed to nod to himself, pointing to me, "You might be right. Hold on." He turned away again, and walked away. Probably in search of someone, given his pace.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes briefly. I only had enough time to rub them a few times before Eli was back, dragging another of his group into my room.

"Leandra," He spoke up, "This is Russell. I don't think you two have met yet."

"I really don't want to get involved." Russell was in the middle of muttering.

"You're already involved," Eli replied, "So shut up."

Russell wasn't much taller than Eli, but much stockier. He was one of the only younger ones of his group, all of the others being physically much older. His brown hair much darker than Eli's blonde, but otherwise, not much difference.

"Tell her what you were saying earlier." Eli told him, and Russell sighed again.

"All I was saying," Russell muttered, looking to me, "Is that I've known Asher a lot longer than Eli has. Austin and I came to his coven together, and I'll just say right now, that Asher never messes around. What I mean, is he doesn't like to take risks."

"Of course I already knew all this." Eli added, only getting a look from Russell. Eli laughed a little at the glare Russell tossed his way, "Sorry. Go on."

"Anyway.." Russell grumbled, focusing on me again, "Normally, Asher likes to keep to himself. He's been friends with Darren for a long time, but that's about it. No other friends, no enemies to speak of. That was just how he liked it. So something like this.." He gestured to me, "Would never have been something he'd agree to. Never. Not in a million years, for any reason.

"There have been others looking for his help, all of which had more of a reward in it for us, a hell of a lot less complicated and a lot fewer risks, and all of them, he's turned down. Until Darren had him meet Jack."

I frowned a little, "So.. Jack is the only one he's ever agreed to help?"

"Yes." Russell replied, "The first, and the only, but we just figured it was because Jack never came right out and told him what it was he wanted at first. Weaseling his way in by becoming friends first. None of us, not one, has ever been able to get so far on Asher's good side so thoroughly and so quickly. Asher.. He's naturally a distrustful person, but something about Jack made him listen.

"It got to the point when Jack finally did tell him what he wanted, the rest of the coven was torn. All it really took was for Jack to talk to them, and they were agreeable again. Except for us. Eli, Austin, me, and the others here. It just seemed too fishy for us to really accept, so when Asher told us we had to follow Darren, we didn't fight it. Though Darren wasn't much better."

"You never told him?" I asked, turning a little to face him better, "You never told him that he was being stupid?"

"Asher?" He asked and I nodded, "You don't complain or express concern to Asher. To do so would be questioning him, and that would be.. Disastrous. Besides, he'd never led us wrong before."

"That's what made this so hard to do." Eli added, but this time, Russell didn't seem to mind.

"So.." I muttered, "It had to be something Jack did."

"The question is," Mikah finally spoke up again, "How do we fix it?"

"I haven't the slightest clue." Russell replied, " _If_ that's the case, then I wouldn't know the first thing about fixing it. All of us here were suspicious from the start, which may be why it never really worked on us. Her, however.." He trailed off, looking to me briefly, "Humans are far more vulnerable and fragile than we are. Especially their minds. Even if she did know exactly what he was doing, I highly doubt there would be any way to prevent it from happening. Much less change it. It really does seem to me that whatever tie she's built to him can't be severed unless he wants it to be."

That one word, tie, caught my attention. I wasn't going to say anything, but I knew. If I wanted it bad enough, there was one way I could break that tie, but I'd have to ask Aro for his help to do it.

"So she's stuck like this?" Mikah asked incredulously, bringing my attention back to the conversation.

"I really couldn't say." Russell replied, slightly defensive at his tone, "I don't know Jack any better than you do. I'm only speculating based on what I know and what I've seen. For all I know, it could fade over time. Perhaps distance, how far away she is from him, or even just being here could break it. I _don't_ know."

"Thank you, Russell." Esme murmured, probably trying to cool him down.

Taking a breath, he gave her a nod.

"I truly am sorry." He replied, "I do wish I could tell you more." I sighed as he looked down, falling silent. With a whining whimper, I laid back on the bed. Covering my eyes again. That wasn't comforting news at all.

"We'll figure this out, princess.." Mikah offered quietly, "If I have to kill him to do it, then-"

"No." I sat up immediately, "Don't." I _hated_ that that request wasn't only for Mikah's safety. Once again, I felt torn two ways. He seemed surprised at first, but even more surprised as I started to cry.

"How about we save talk like that for later?" Esme asked, probably trying to keep me calm as well.

"Can you honestly tell me that this is _okay_ with you?" Mikah asked me.

"No." I snapped in reply, hating my tears.

"I'm offering you a solution, and you cry?"

"I can't help it." I replied, "I don't want to be like this, and yelling at me isn't making me feel better!"

He was about to say something else before Esme cut him off.

"Mikah." She spoke firmly, "Take a walk."

He frowned, shaking his head, "But-"

"Go." She said, "I know you mean well, but this is truly not helping. We'll figure it out. I promise, but upsetting her isn't getting us anywhere."

He hesitated, and as I looked over, I could really see how much he needed reassurance. He wasn't being demanding because he wanted to be mean. He was getting desperate. He could see how much this was getting to me, and not being able to do anything was getting to him in return.

"Okay. I'll just.." He finally muttered, his tone a lot calmer, "Be out here." I watched him turn, shoving passed Eli on his way out of the room. Eli just pursed his lips, keeping his eyes down awkwardly.

"I remember my tantrum days." Russell muttered, obviously trying to change the subject.

"Leandra means a lot to him." Esme explained quietly, "She means everything to us."

"I understand," Russell replied, "But having a newborn with such a short fuse will only bring trouble. I guarantee it. They need a firm hand."

"Don't blame him." I sniffled, "He's just-"

Eli suddenly turning cut me off, "Austin's back."

"That was quick." Russell frowned, quickly following him from the room.

"Did you hear what he said?" I asked, looking over at her, "About the tie?" She had to know what I was talking about.

"I heard." She replied gently, but I did sense her urgency.

"I don't want that." I muttered, "I don't want that just to be normal again."

"Honey, the way you have to think about it, is what would you rather live with?" She asked, "Hurting this way over someone who doesn't deserve a second of your time, and we both know it, or asking someone for their help?"

"Don't you remember?" I asked, shaking my head a little, "Don't you remember what he did?"

"I understand." She murmured, "I do understand that, honey, but.." There was something she wasn't saying.

"What?" I asked, "What's wrong?"

"All we ask," She said, "Is please. Don't be angry with us."

"Why would I be mad?" I was getting nervous now. Were they sending me to live with Heather anyway? Had they found and killed Jack? I doubted the latter, as I didn't feel any different in that sense.

"I promise." She added, "We only had your welfare in mind."

"Why would I be mad?" I asked again, "Please tell me." With just a moment of pause, she sighed quietly, and moved to stand up. Before I could insist that she tell me, she held her hand out to me. I hesitated before taking her hand, struggling through the ache in my body to stand up from the awkward sitting position. It seemed that instead of telling me, she wanted to show me.

I still felt tired, especially after my short bout of emotion just minutes before, but I followed her. Letting her lead me out of the room.

The first thing that caught my attention was the fact that everyone was grouped much closer to my room than usual. Gathered just at the beginning of the hallway, instead of their normal places in the living room. I couldn't see anything beyond the group, but that didn't do much to make me feel very comforted. It just made me more nervous. Especially as the ones in the back looked to me as we neared.

"As I was saying," I stopped in my tracks, freezing in place at the voice I recognized, "It's quite the mess you've created for yourselves here." I recognized his voice immediately from the memories I'd recently recalled.

It was Aro. They'd gone and found him? Why would they do that? Before I could outright protest, Aro spoke again.

"Bring her forward, please." He said, "I want to meet her officially."

I was still stuck.

"No," I whispered, "No, no, no, no. I can't. I _can't_." And it wasn't fair of them to ask this of me.

"She's afraid." Mikah actually spoke up for me, "None of this is her fault. Please don't hurt her."

"It's not my intention to harm anyone." Was Aro's calm reply, "I've heard some.. Interesting things about this girl, and I'd only like to get to know her." That didn't comfort me. I was in tears as Esme finally kneeled in front of me. Holding both my hands in hers.

"Tell that to Jane." Mikah countered quietly, "Last time they were here, I'm surprised Leandra lived."

"Mikah." Carlisle shut him up, while I focused more on Esme this time.

"I know." Esme told me gently, "I know you're afraid, but he can help."

"I don't _want_ help if it's like this." I whimpered, "He'll know. He'll find out. Please don't make me."

"He can help you." She repeated, keeping hold of my hands as I tried to back away, "Leandra, please.."

"It's not fair." I mumbled through sudden tears, "I don't _want_ help anymore. Why would you do this? Jack never would have." Her expression fell, "He never would have. I'd rather go back to him if this is how you want to fix me."

"I can't help but sense some hesitation." I looked over sharply as Aro's voice now beside me. The group had parted, letting him through to get a look at me. I roughly jerked at my hands this time, but gaining freedom in only one. I used that limited freedom to back away as much as I could, though, facing him with increasing tears.

I watched as he slowly crouched down, looking at me what I could only describe as vaguely curious interest. Esme glanced over at him, and though I could see she was nervous as well, that didn't make me dislike this any less.

"Leandra." Aro spoke gently, "At last we meet."

I honestly had no clue how to reply. He didn't seem upset by my obvious fear, which could have been a good thing. Only more curious.

"I see you're quite upset." Aro spoke again, "Care to explain?" My heart pounded quickly. Uncomfortably. I stayed as far back as Esme's firm but gentle grip on my other hand would allow, but I stopped fighting to get free. It wasn't quite hurting me, but I knew if I kept fighting, I'd wind up hurting myself. I also knew that the fact that I wouldn't care if I hurt myself was a bad thing. I was all but prepared to chew my own arm off. I spoke instead.

"They had you come here." My voice trembled, "I didn't. I didn't want this."

"And you're angry?" I only nodded to his question. He paused for a moment before speaking again, "Tell me. You mentioned Jack?" I immediately looked down, "I've also heard some rather interesting things about him."

It sounded so weird hearing Aro say his name. Unsurprisingly, I felt defensive of him when it came to Aro. Considering it was Jack that was trying to avoid this sort of outcome.

And like that, I was back to struggling. Shaking my head at the floor, pulling at my wrist. I was getting a lot angrier pretty fast, looking to Esme sharply.

"I want to go back to him." I snapped through residual tears, "He was right all along about you."

Her expression saddened again, "Honey-"

"Don't call me that." I barked, "I hate you." As far as I was concerned, I had every right to say that to her. I never would have had to see Aro at all if I was still with Jack. He would have done anything he could to keep me away from Aro. That fact right there was enough to make up my mind.

"Leandra." Mikah snapped from his spot.

"Fuck you too, Mikah." I rounded to glare at him next.

"Now, now." Aro murmured, instantly shutting me up. It was silent for a moment, and I swore I could hear a pin drop. Aro spoke again, "I'm only trying to understand. Clearly, I was asked to come here for a reason."

"Ask _them_." I replied sharper than I meant to, "They're the ones that wanted you here. They're the ones that wanted to waste your time."

"I do apologize," He said, "But considering this is all about you, I'm forced to ask you." Holding out his hand, he offered what I assumed to be an attempt at a comforting smile, "May I?"

I froze, staring at it before glaring over at Esme again. She knew what would happen when he took my hand. They all did.

"I-I can't." I hesitantly told him, and I was sure he wasn't used to being refused.

"Why ever not?"

"You'll find out." I replied.

"They're wasting our time." I fully recognized Felix's voice across the wide room by the door. Recalling it vividly from my run-in with them just a few months back. I only fought harder in response, quickly falling into that cornered feeling I was fighting before.

"Felix," Aro spoke, "I must ask you to refrain from speaking. If that's at all possible."

My eyes, however, were back on Esme, "You're hurting me!"

"Leandra.." She shook her head.

"Please release her." Aro requested quietly, and we both looked at him, "If you wouldn't mind." He obviously had more trust in me than Esme did. With a careful nod at her, Aro looked to me again.

Esme's grip loosened enough for me to slip my hand away, and I yanked it free. Though I did half-step to the side, away from her with the force of my yanking, I didn't run. As much as I wanted to, I knew that'd do no good. I carefully rubbed my slightly aching wrist, looking to Aro again.

"Please." Aro murmured, his hand out again. I knew I had little choice. Especially as I heard Jane's unmistakably impatient sigh across the room. I took a breath, and took the step forward I needed to take before I could reach his hand.

Sighing out that breath, I hesitantly laid my open hand in his. I knew immediately everything he'd find out. I hated that so much, but again. I had no choice. His fingers easily folded over my hand, gripping my hand firmly.

I could tell the moment he began to see my thoughts. Holding his gaze with a tired, resigned one of my own. Once again, it was silent around the entirely too crowded room, as everyone had turned to look at us now. I didn't focus on them, though. They'd betrayed me. Even Aro's group peered closer.

It must have taken longer than usual for Aro to get everything from me, because a few fidgeted in the group closest. After maybe a minute longer, he gently released my hand, and I let my hand fall away. Back to my side, where it sat as I bit my lip.

"I see." He murmured, clearly in thought, "I see. Simply astonishing. Thank you, my dear. I only ask for patience as I consider where to begin." I gave a tense nod, looking down. Only seconds later, he rose to his feet and turned in one fluid movement.

"First," He spoke, his gaze on his group, "Jane. I would like to address your interaction with her. Is Leandra here the unremarkable child you interrogated?" I gulped nervously as I caught sight of her on the other side of the group.

"It is." She replied, obviously shameful.

"I only ask, because it is very clear that she is _anything_ but unremarkable." Aro went on, "The very manner in which you treated her is appalling. Rest assured that we will revisit this subject later."

"Of course." She gave a light nod, but didn't offer anything more as Aro was obviously done.

"Second," Aro spoke again, "Carlisle. I would like to commend you for all you've done for her, and the effort you and your coven have put forth in keeping her safe. Disregarding your own safety, knowing full well the rule against this sort of scenario, you gave her shelter. Normally, as you know, that rule is in place for a reason. However, I do believe that in this case, an exception can be made."

"Thank you." Carlisle replied quietly.

"Now, I must address the latest predicament in which you've all seemed to find yourselves." He sighed and paced a few slow steps away, "I believe that you've made the wise decision to come to me. Not only will I offer my assistance in ridding the area of Jack, his coven, and any coven associated with him, but I-"

"No." I whimpered, looking up sharply.

"But," He went on as if I hadn't interrupted him, "I would also like to offer you my assistance when it comes to Leandra here and her extensive confusion about loyalty. Of course, that would involve taking her back to Volterra with me today. As I'm sure you understand."

"I don't want that." I had to try again. I didn't want any of it.

"As generous as your first offer is," Carlisle replied, "I must decline. We've only asked you here in hopes that you might be able to recognize what it is he might have done."

"I see." Aro nodded a little, "I firmly believe you were right in assuming that it was an ability he used on her. Quite a powerful one by the looks of it." He sighed, "But I also firmly believe that there may not be a way to reverse this without my assistance."

"How can you tell?" Mikah asked.

"I'm not entirely sure how familiar you are with my own ability," Aro replied politely, "But I can assure you that I'm very good at what I do."

"You see every thought someone has ever had." Mikah was only trying to understand. Even I knew that, which was probably why Aro humored him at all.

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but yes." Aro said, "From every fleeting thought, to every deep-seeded memory, an individual's mind tells a story that only I understand at a very basic level. No matter how complicated. You can think of what I do as breaking down that story to each individual word. I'll admit, Leandra's story is a bit harder to follow than most, but given the way her story drastically changes only a few days ago, it's very easy to understand what happened to change it. Especially considering how I've seen the very same effects dozens of times myself.

"To right this wrong, as far as I'm aware, I'll need to employ the help of one of my own. One who specializes in this area and degree of.. Loyalty tampering, so to speak. Of course, it may be possible to wait for the effects to wear off on their own, but I fear that waiting much longer may do more harm than good. I'm sure you've noticed how the effects only seem to be getting stronger as more time passes. Which is why I'm offering my assistance."

Satisfied with that, Mikah nodded a little and looked down.

"However," Aro's tone changed a bit, softening and quieting in what sounded like concern, "I must warn you now that something like this does carry with it a certain amount of risk. A mind is a very fragile thing. Her mind has already been altered once, and to attempt to change it again without knowing exactly how it was altered to begin with could pose certain problems and cause irreversible damage."

"Damage?" Mikah asked, surprised, "Can't you just have whoever it is go in and switch it back?"

"It's not that simple, I'm afraid." He replied, "I really won't be able to say much more until I can get Chelsea's take on it. If she informs me that the risks should outnumber the potential benefits, I won't have her attempt it. As you can imagine, Leandra just became _very_ valuable to me. Anything that can potentially jeopardize her mind.. Or her ability.. In any way, will have to be met with a great degree of caution."

"Will we get her back?" I looked over at Alice's question, "Or are you planning on keeping her for yourself?"

"Carlisle, and of course his lovely mate Esme, will be welcome to come along." Aro replied, "Peculiar how you cannot see that for yourself."

"She can't see me." I muttered, figuring that small detail had gotten buried under everything else.

"Interesting." Aro replied.

"What if I don't want to go?" I asked, "What if I don't want to fix this?"

"I understand being upset with your family, Leandra." He said, looking down at me, "But even I can see how you aren't acting like yourself." I looked away as he carefully crouched in front of me again, "I can also easily see why you hold such distrust toward me. Those memories are real to you, but I can assure you right now that that will not be the case this time."

I stayed silent, so he went on.

"Why would I threaten your trust that way?" He reasoned, "I've been searching for someone like you for far longer than you can begin to comprehend. I promise. It can be so much better than anything you've seen." He paused, holding out his hand again, "Please allow me to show you." Of course he'd seen from my memories how this whole thing was supposed to work.

I hesitated, but I had to admit. I was curious. I wanted to see what would change now that he knew what all went wrong. Tempted as I was, though, it was the fact that Esme was nervous about it that made me place my hand in his.

I took the step forward I needed to take to get to him, placing my hand in his again. This time, his other hand covered my own smaller hand. Enveloping it in ice. A feeling I never really got used to last time.

In the time it took for his other hand to settle into place, a rather vivid vision started. Forced forward in my mind like so often before, which I also still wasn't used to or even really prepared for.

In what I could recall, I could see that he was right. The vision itself was pretty hazy to me, and a little hard to follow, but I got the gist of it. I wasn't against it as I was the last time, which made it a lot easier on me, and things went a whole lot smoother. There were a lot of possibilities this time.

Not only was I given whatever I wanted to make me happy, no request too much, but I was offered protection beyond my wildest dreams. A damn mosquito couldn't touch me.

Once my hand was released, it took me a moment to gather my own thoughts. I was kneeling now, my hand coming down to help support me. Looking up as I realized that I knew exactly what he was thinking. It wasn't a surprise to me that he was planning something, but it was just as hazy as the vision had been. Whatever it was had to do with Jack.

"Leandra?" Esme had come to my side, but I wasn't paying much attention to that.

What I got most out of that, was that Aro wasn't even considering forcing me into that life this time. It would be entirely up to me whether or not I went to him. That made a whole world of difference. Both in how I saw him now, and how the vision went.

"Are you hurt?" Esme finally managed to take my attention.

"No." I muttered quietly, "I'm not hurt. I'm okay." Just a little shaken up and a little confused. It was taking me a minute to come back to myself.

"All I ask," Aro spoke to me, "Is to only allow me to take you to Chelsea. If she can do anything to help you, we'll let you decide then whether you want her assistance or not."

I took a few more seconds, glancing toward my family standing there, watching nervously behind Aro.

"Okay." I nodded a little, "I'll go."

"Thank you." Aro smiled a bit, standing up again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Esme seemed really concerned, and I knew why. I had calmed down significantly, and even I could tell how out of it I still seemed. My mind was still stuck processing everything I'd seen, and since it was such a new experience for it, I knew that would take at least a few minutes.

"I'm okay." I said again, which was true. I was just a little distracted.

"Carlisle," Aro spoke, "Am I to assume you'll be accompanying her?"

"You're just going to let her go?" Mikah asked, rounding to look at Carlisle as well.

"I don't see another option." Carlisle replied, "So I'll be accompanying her."

"So will I." Esme offered quietly. Taking a breath, I stood up. Esme stood up with me, but since I was still mad at her, I didn't offer more than a glance over at her.

"I thought he'd just come by to tell us what was wrong with her." Mikah argued, "I didn't know he'd want to take her away."

"Mikah." Alice sighed, trying to shut him up.

"I'm coming too." Mikah muttered, looking to Aro now, "Please. Let me come with her."

"No, Mikah." Carlisle said, "You'll be staying-"

"I'm not letting her go anywhere without me." He replied firmly, "I'm not leaving her side."

"I'll allow it." Aro nodded, "If that is something Leandra wants."

I couldn't help being reminded of Mikah's promise awhile back. About taking my place if he had to, and I couldn't deny that it tried to reach a place in me. I also couldn't help feeling like that was what he was trying to do, maybe in an attempt to snap me out of whatever this was.

"Sure." I shrugged a little, "Whatever."

"Great." Aro smiled as he started toward the front again, "It's settled. Leandra, I'll allow you a few minutes with your family-"

"No." I muttered, "That's okay. I don't need it."

"You may want to reconsider." He said, looking down at me, "If this should not go well-"

"I'm fine." I insisted, "I'd rather just go. This is what they wanted anyway." I threw a glance at them, but that was all they were going to get from me. The looks of disbelief and sadness throughout the rest of the group also tried to get to me, but I fought it.

Instead of lingering there, though, I finalized my decision by walking forward. Passing right by them to make it to the front ahead of Aro. Making sure to give lots of room between where I stood and where Jane stood. I didn't like her very much, and one look told me the feeling was mutual.

"I see." Aro nodded again, "Well, then."

Despite having to wait a minute or two anyway while the others had a chance to talk to Carlisle, the wait wasn't unbearable. Given my choices, I even allowed Carlisle to be the one to carry me. He really should have been grateful for that, though.

Getting there was pretty tricky, but we managed to make it without too much of a problem. I recognized the place immediately, even forgetting to make Carlisle put me down until we were in the giant stone room. The round stone room I recalled so vividly, spending each day of six months in during my stay here before.

I had to take a minute. The large stone room was so open, even the air seemed to echo around us. I couldn't help looking up and around.

"You've brought company." Caius seemed surprised. As surprised as Caius could ever be, anyway. He smirked slightly, "Carlisle, how nice to see you. Might I inquire as to the occasion?" I wasn't as intimidated by him as I probably should have been, especially being the only human in the room. I did stay close to the spot I'd been placed, though. I wasn't too sure about wandering.

"Easy, brother." Aro replied, "Our guests only ask for our assistance."

"Nice place.." Mikah muttered, looking around as well. He genuinely seemed impressed.

"Oh, of course." Aro smiled again, "My manners." I finally felt brave enough to take a step forward as Aro introduced everyone. I ignored Esme's attempts to call me back as I made it to the steps beneath the three chairs. This spot was all too familiar to me.

"And this.." Aro had saved me for last, "Is Leandra." The way he said that made me fully aware that they'd talked about me before. I was also fully aware that both Caius and Marcus watched me close, no doubt questioning my sanity. I was the only one brave enough to wander.

"The human child." Caius recalled easily, his tone confirming what I already knew.

"And you're the vampire guy." I countered, glancing up.

"Charming." He muttered, looking to Aro. Probably in confusion.

"Thanks." I replied, and I had to admit. It was a little entertaining how I could confuse him just by talking.

"It seems we've been misunderstanding." Aro explained quietly, "Under quite a false impression, I'm afraid." That seemed to remind him, though. He turned, looking back at the members of the guard that had followed back, "Jane, would you kindly go and fetch Chelsea? I would appreciate her input."

With a tense nod and a brief glance at me, Jane turned. She knew she was already in the doghouse, so she couldn't exactly complain.

"Leandra?" Esme tried again to call me back, and this time, I humored her. I'd gotten my look, so I could go back to them.

"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Marcus finally spoke, and hearing him speak for the first time had me look back.

"It seems," Aro decided to finally explain, "That Carlisle and his coven have stumbled across a bit of trouble." I tuned him out, ignoring his continued explanation as I focused on Esme again. She seemed far more nervous than I was, but I wasn't exactly surprised.

"You remember this place?" Mikah asked me quietly.

"Yeah." I replied, "Like I was just here yesterday." I paused for a soft, almost humorless laugh, "This is so weird."

"How odd." I did look back at Marcus' statement, though, "I have never seen this before." He was looking at me.

"Oh?" Aro asked.

"The emotional ties between them." Marcus went on, "The bonds they have to her are.. Quite strong. Hers was once strong as well, but it's torn. Still strong, to be sure, but torn."

"How can it be strong, but torn?" I was the one to ask that. The words he used confused me.

"You're refusing it." He explained quietly, "An emotional bond as strong as you once had can only be broken by you. Perhaps a betrayal, a change in circumstance can turn you away."

I knew exactly what he was saying. Looking down, I didn't ask anything else.

"Can it be repaired?" Carlisle asked.

"Emotional bonds can always be repaired." Marcus replied, "They can even become stronger than they were before. There is nothing stronger or more forgiving, but she must be willing."

"I suppose that would be what you need my help for?" While they were talking, Jane had returned. A smaller brunette in tow.

"Chelsea." Aro greeted her warmly, "How nice to see you."

"Aro." She smiled just as warmly, "How may I assist you?"

She seemed nice enough. Rather friendly, and I immediately liked her. She had a kind, open face that didn't fit her status. I hadn't had many run-ins with her the last time I'd been here, but standing here with her in person, that feeling was stronger than any memory I had of her.

After a brief introduction to the others, Aro explained.

"Leandra here has a bit of a problem." Aro gestured toward me, "One involving your area of expertise, and I was rather hopeful that you could help her solve it."

"Hey." I muttered, frowning a bit.

"Should she choose to have it solved." Aro corrected himself, and that helped.

"I see." Chelsea replied, watching me as I hesitantly looked toward her.

"Would you mind too much just taking a look and letting us know what you find?" Aro asked, and she smiled as she looked at me in return.

"Of course I wouldn't mind." She said, stepping closer, "Come here, dear girl. I promise I won't change anything without your consent." I hesitantly stepped forward, away from Esme's side. She nodded before I even got three steps, "I see."

I paused, confused, but she smiled again. Why would she tell me to move if she was just going to stop me three steps later? I waited there, watching her as she watched me. At first, it seemed like she was waiting for me to do or say something, until she looked toward Carlisle. Esme afterwards.

"Interesting." She mused after a moment, her expression falling just a bit in curiosity before she looked to Aro, "You're questioning her loyalty? To these two?"

"Correct." Aro replied quietly.

"Honestly," She murmured, "It needs work. However.." She carefully stepped forward, studying me closer as if she could see something written on me that I couldn't see. Like she was reading something I couldn't, "My, I've never seen this before."

"You're not the first person to say that today." I pointed out softly. She smiled, mildly amused by that.

"Would you mind coming forward a bit more?" Chelsea asked me, "Just a bit." I took a hesitant step forward again. She nodded, stepping around to look even closer.

"Who did this?" She asked, turning her gaze to Aro, "Anyone we know?" She was obviously very interested. Suddenly very fascinated by me.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked her instead.

"Honey," She said, "You're a mess."

"No one you've met." Aro answered her, taking her attention, "Unfortunately, we've yet to have a chance to locate him."

"Interesting." She said again, shaking her head, "Dear me, whoever did this must not have known what they were doing."

"Please." Aro spoke again, prompting her to explain.

"Please?" I requested as well, and she sighed. Stepping back as she crossed her thin arms. She paused, staying silent for a moment as she frowned a bit in thought.

"Think of a loyalty like a string." She started, "A rope. Ties that bind you to one individual or another." I nodded, following so far, "That string could be.. Thick as a sycamore tree, strong as steel, or as thin as wet tissue paper or as fragile as a dandelion seed. Loyalty is something delicate either way. Should that be tampered with, it can become very confusing and incredibly distressing to the target of the tampering. Meaning you, honey."

I nodded again, waiting for her to continue. I didn't want to interrupt her, because I was interested as well.

"Normally," She went on, "If someone were to attempt to tamper with that delicate connection, or tie, it's for a reason. Whether it's for that target's own good, or to pull that target over to them. Away from who they were loyal to before. Make sense?" Again, I nodded, "Whoever attempted to tamper with your loyalty, darling, had no clue what they were doing when they created another tie."

"There's more than one?" I asked.

"There is." She replied, "Should you belong to a coven, your loyalty to that coven ties around you to involve each member as a whole. If that makes sense. It works fluidly with itself, holding that coven or group together. It's perfectly normal for a bond between one person in that coven to be stronger than the other, because it belongs to the same bond of loyalty. Following so far?"

I liked how she kept making sure I understood. It made it much easier to focus on what she was saying instead of being lost in the dark.

"Now." She continued at my slow nod, "What this person did, is they created another tie. Instead of even attempting to sever the first loyalty tie, they placed another over top of that one. No doubt in an attempt to pull you away from the first one, but without severing it first, those ties became tangled. Those ropes knotted together, and in an attempt to pull you, it grew tighter. Straining both the bond between Carlisle here, and whoever else you're now bonded to.

"Because both bonds are so strong, unfortunately, a mind can only really handle so much. At any given time, one strangles the other. Overpowering it until it's all but broken before the other fights to regain its previous hold."

That actually made a lot of sense to me. It definitely explained why I felt so torn at times. I nodded in agreement this time, and she nodded in acknowledgement.

"Now, in times of emotional turmoil, as Marcus so accurately described, that tie can become weaker." She said, "An emotional bond directly feeds a tie of loyalty. Feelings, emotions can become muddled and that only strains that already burdened tie. Giving one or the other the chance to become stronger. Usually that tie is tested by distance, but this one doesn't seem to be."

"Can you fix it?" Mikah asked, and his tone tried to bother me.

"Wait." I said, "Isn't there a way to be loyal to more than one group?" There had to be.

"Of course there is." She replied, and I frowned in deep confusion, "If whoever did this knew what he was doing, he'd have done this in a way that either worked with the bonds you already had, or removed the previous bonds completely. Instead, he made them work against each other."

"I don't think that's what he was doing."

"Whether or not that's what he was meaning to do," Chelsea replied, "That's what he did. Trust me, darling. I know what I'm looking at. I've just never seen someone mess up so badly."

"Aro mentioned something about it getting stronger over time?" Esme prompted.

"It's not that it's getting stronger over time." Chelsea spoke to her this time, "But at that particular moment, something must have swayed her. With her pulled in two different directions, it's going to be hard for her to find even ground."

"But can you _fix_ it?" Mikah pressed, his tone harder, more desperate.

"I can." She replied, "But it's going to take time."

"I still don't know if I want it fixed." I argued, shaking my head.

"Trust me." She said again, "You want this fixed. One way or another, but you can't stay like this. I've seen people much stronger than you be torn apart by this."

"How?" I asked, "If you've never seen someone mess up like this?"

She only offered a small, sheepish smile.

"Those instances weren't an accident." She admitted.

I took a deep breath, sighing it out, "I still don't know."

Looking to Carlisle now, she spoke again, "She's confused, Carlisle. Marcus is right. Something happened recently that changed her emotional bond to you. It's tested, torn. Right now, I can only suggest that you.. All three of you.. Do what you can to bring forward her will to forgive. Otherwise, fixing this mess will not go the way you want it to go. She's in a very vulnerable state right now. Wet tissue paper."

"Chelsea," Aro finally spoke quietly, "Might I have a word?"

"Of course." She told him, giving me a nod before she turned and followed Aro toward the door.

It was silent after that, while I stared at the floor. I refused to even look at them, despite how I knew they looked at me. Truthfully, I was hurt, so instead of looking at them, I looked over at a very bored Caius. I didn't like how what Chelsea had just said put me in the middle. More than I was before. I knew they were going to try to talk to me, but I wasn't sure if I wanted them to.

"Leandra?" Mikah tried, "Princess?"

"Doesn't your butt ever fall asleep up there?" I asked, ignoring Mikah as I turned and walked toward the steps.

"No." Caius replied flatly. Boy, he was great for conversation.

"Leandra." Carlisle was going to try next, but for the life of me, I couldn't think of another question to ask to avoid having to talk to him. Instead, I just focused on keeping my breathing normal, looking down at my hands.

"Please." Carlisle spoke again, "Just listen."

"Why should I?" I asked, not yet bothering to look at him.

"We only did this to help you." He replied, "Had we known _any_ other way, we'd have done that."

"I was never supposed to be here!" I finally rounded, my angry voice echoing through the room, "You sold me out because you didn't want to deal with me anymore!"

"No." He instantly murmured firmly, "That is not why we chose this solution."

"This isn't a solution!" I countered, "It's worse!"

"Don't take it out on him, Leandra." Mikah stepped up, "It was a _really_ hard decision for him to make. You didn't see him."

"You should have just taken me back." I snapped.

" _That_ was never going to happen, Leandra, and you know it." Mikah replied firmly, "How can this even be an issue anymore?" I wasn't sure I liked his tone. He was nearly shouting right back at me.

"Because it just is."

"Seriously?" His snap made me jump, "Use your head! Everything you already know. You're not stupid, Leandra, but you're sure acting like it."

I glared hard at him, crossing my arms.

"You're asking us to let you go back to someone who _never_ cared about you." Mikah went on, "You're _seriously_ torn between a family, people who love you more than you can ever possibly imagine.. And someone who only wants you so he can keep torturing you? Please, pardon my language and tell me, because I really wanna know. What in the name of _fucking_ hell is wrong with you?"

" _You_ don't know!" I snapped right back, unable to keep my fists from clenching at my sides.

"All he's _ever_ done is hurt you!" He shouted, "What more is there to know? Tell me, Leandra. Tell me what makes this so damn hard? He's _never_ done anything to benefit you in your entire life. Look at Carlisle. Think about all he's done to help you!"

Immediately, I looked down. Now too pissed to speak.

"After all he's done," Mikah pressed, "You can't even _look_ at him? You can't even face him? What about Esme, then? What about her? You're _really_ willing to turn your fucking back on everyone who's ever wanted nothing more than your safety and happiness, all for someone who only hurts you? Ability or not, that's pretty fucking dumb."

"What about you?" I finally countered, unable to keep my tears back, "Why should I listen to you? You wanted this as much as _he_ did."

" _We're trying to help you_!" He heavily emphasized each word.

"Jack wanted to keep me from this." I replied sharply, "He never would have let anyone find me. _Everything_ could have just gone back to the way things were!"

"And that's tempting to you?" He was getting more pissed off, "It's really tempting to you to get beaten every day within an inch of your life? It's really tempting to you to be starved, to be constantly _kicked_ around, put down? Told you're worthless? Told you're nothing more than some form of _sick_ entertainment? Under his thumb, stepped on, _owned_?"

"Shut up!"

"No!" I flinched again at his reply, "All Carlisle has done is try to help you, and this is the thanks he gets? You throw it back in his face like some sniveling little puppy, ready to run back to her owner because it's _easy_. I'm surprised Carlisle has any will to help left in him."

I really didn't want to admit it, but he was getting through to me. Instead of admitting it, I turned away.

"That's it?" Mikah asked, "That's all he gets? Your back? Maybe Jack's right. Maybe you are just like him."

"Fuck you!" That had struck a nerve, "I'm _not_ like him!"

"Then prove it!" Mikah replied, "Someone like him holds no value in family. He doesn't care who he hurts, as long as he gets what he wants. He doesn't care who he has to step on to get to where he wants to be. Is that you? Is that not how you're acting right now? Because you're coming up with the _stupidest_ excuses to turn your back on _everyone_. Tell me I'm wrong."

I wanted to reply, to tell him to shut his stupid face, but I couldn't. My voice died in my throat. No sound able or willing to come out.

"Nothing?" He asked, his tone easier, "Got nothing to say now?"

I really didn't. At my continued silence, Mikah just shook his head.

"Forget it, Carlisle." He muttered, "Coming here was a waste of time. She's already decided. She's not going to change her mind for something _stupid_ like _family_." He moved to turn away, but I spoke up instead.

"Don't I get to talk?" I asked, my tone easier as well, and he paused. Looking back at me. I took a breath, "Maybe you're right. This might not have happened if I wasn't like him. Maybe I wouldn't be stuck like this if I wasn't like him. A-At first.. I-I thought.. Well, I did think it would be easier. It wasn't everything he did that made me want to stay. It wasn't that at all.

"At first.. I just wanted it to stop. For me.. For you guys.. For everyone. I knew it would be easier if I just stayed, and maybe I wouldn't be like this if I didn't think that, but I did. I would have lived with the pain if it meant everything could go back to normal. Before I came along and fucked everything up.

"Maybe I wouldn't be like this if I wasn't like him." I repeated, "I used to worry about that every day. Being like him. I used to worry, but now I don't anymore. You know why? Because I know I am. He raised me, Mikah. I'm always going to be like him. Some things just are the way they are, and I can't change that. No matter how much I want to.

"Before all this started, I wanted to stay because I knew giving up was what he wanted me to do. Now, I want to go back because he never broke a promise to me."

It was his turn to be speechless.

"Not one." I went on, quieter now, "Not one promise. As much as he's hurt me, I know I can trust him to do the things he says he's gonna do, but I.. I just don't know. Maybe I'm just more mixed up than I thought. So.. Okay. If Chelsea thinks she can fix it, then she can try. If it means you won't give up on me, then she can try."

I hadn't realized how emotional I'd become until a sob shook free. It was amazing that that was all it took to finally turn me around. Him about to give up on me. The thought that I was about to lose his support bothered me just as much. That was something that would always get through to me. To me, that mattered just as much as promises did.

At the second sob, he strode forward to me and immediately hugged me. I did return it, but not as tightly as I would have before.

"How touching." Caius sounded suspiciously like he wanted to vomit. Having witnessed everything that just happened, I was genuinely surprised he didn't comment until now.

"Well done." I finally noticed the audience we had on the other side of the room. Aro had returned, Chelsea beside him watching as well. She spoke again, "How did you know to go that route? Yelling at someone you want to forgive you seems a bit unconventional."

"I know her." Mikah replied, turning a little to look at her, "She just needed a chance to yell." I was still crying, though. Especially as Esme and Carlisle came closer as well. I wasn't done hugging someone, though, so I hugged Carlisle next. Of course he returned it.

"Whatever the method," Chelsea murmured, "It worked. Am I to assume Leandra has made her choice?"

Instead of answering, I nodded.

"Well, then I'll get started." She replied, "The process will be lengthy, but it should be relatively painless." That was comforting.

Despite what she said, I still expected it to hurt. Emotionally at least, but after several minutes of pure silence, I figured she was already working on it. She gave no indication, verbal or otherwise, of how it was going but after awhile, the silence was starting to bother me. I didn't want to say that and possibly distract her, though. I wasn't sure how it worked.

How would I even know if it was working or not? I didn't feel any different. After awhile, I had to sit. Standing around like that was starting to bug me.

"So." Chelsea spoke as soon as I started moving to sit down, "I'm sensing a lot of back story to this. Care to fill me in?"

"Where do we start?" Mikah asked bitterly.

"The one who did this.." She gestured to me, "His name is Jack?"

That was really all the prompting she needed to do. After that, the explanation just went smoothly.

"Well.." Chelsea murmured during a break, "How did you reach the decision to keep her?"

"Because of my gift." I muttered, "They said it was because I could remember things from the dream I had, and they didn't want to risk that becoming a problem.. So they let me stay."

"So it's true, then." Caius spoke up, "The child is gifted."

"There's more to her than that." Mikah replied, but his tone was respectful. I didn't blame him. I wouldn't want to piss Caius off either.

"It's true." Carlisle added, "We initially took her in in hopes of avoiding any potential problems regarding her memory and what she knew, but it really didn't take long before we decided that with us is where we wanted her to stay."

"Until Jack came back." Chelsea prompted again, now pacing in a slow circle around us.

"He never left." I answered that one, "He just.. Couldn't let it drop."

"He's been an issue from the very beginning." She nodded a little as I watched her.

"They wouldn't listen to me." I said, "I told them that he wasn't just going to go away. I mean, it was pretty easy to protect me before he was turned, but after.. He just has too many people on his side. My family does what they can, but no matter how hard they try, he's always finding a way around it."

"And that bothers you?" She asked.

"Yeah." I replied, my tone slightly incredulous, "Yeah, it bothers me. Trust me, if you knew him, it would bother you too. My family doesn't deserve this. None of them, and if all he wants is me, then why wouldn't I want to stay?"

"How very selfless of you." She pointed out.

"Not really." I sighed, "I mean, maybe it was at first, but.. I just don't know what happened. All I really know is after he got really mad.. I didn't want to leave the next day." Taking a deep breath, I sighed it out and shook my head, "I wanted to stay, but Eli made me come back."

She was silent for a moment after that. Finishing her latest lap to stand beside Aro.

"And.." She spoke gentler now, "What would you say of that decision now?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Would you still make that same decision?" She clarified, "Or would you say you'd change it? If given the chance, would you want to stay?"

I understood what she was asking then. Frowning in thought, I really considered it. I thought hard about what I was feeling then, versus what I was feeling now, and realized with intense relief that they were very different. Between everything Mikah made me see just moments before and how I felt now, I knew it'd worked.

I knew the others were waiting to hear my answer to that, but I waited. I wanted to make sure it was really okay before telling them it was okay. It was such a strange feeling to have my perception changed on me so drastically without me even noticing it.

Taking a deep breath in, I held it for a moment before I shook my head.

"No." I finally muttered, "I wouldn't." It was still hard, but I wouldn't. It wasn't that there was any confusion about whether or not I would. More like the fact that I didn't like the fact that I wouldn't.

"It worked." Mikah seemed surprised.

"Of course." Chelsea replied, "I am the best at what I do. I won't lie, however. I would love to have more time to work with her, but I understand that time is limited."

"Thank you, Aro." I finally muttered, looking over at him, "But why would you want to help me?"

"I understand your trepidation, Leandra." He replied, "Your reluctance to trust me, to you, is well deserved. I suppose you can consider this a peace offering of sorts." I waited for him to keep talking, to throw in the catch, but he was apparently done with that subject. He spoke again before looking to Carlisle, "However.. Might I make a suggestion?"

"Of course." Carlisle replied. I doubted he wanted to hear it, but after what Aro had just done for me, it was the least we could do.

"In an effort to keep this from happening again," Aro murmured, "I highly recommend that you take young Elias' advice regarding the humans."

"What?" I asked, "Make me live with Heather? What if I don't want to?"

"It's only a suggestion." Aro assured me, "Until we can be sure that the threat against you is removed. It certainly wasn't a bad idea on his part. I really think it'd be best to think about what's more important in this situation. A compromise can be reached."

Even I could see that he wasn't wrong, so I shut up. Hesitantly looking over and up at Mikah as he found my side.

"Please." Carlisle said, "Allow me to talk to the others about this first."

"That's reasonable." Aro nodded.

"How long would it take?" I asked, carefully standing up, "How long would I have to be there?"

"Most likely not very long at all." Aro replied, "We will be working diligently to remove the aforementioned threat."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that, so instead of asking more questions, I just nodded a little. It really did seem like Aro was taking a whole different approach to this situation than he did last time, and I had to admit. It was making me hate him a whole lot less than I did before. He knew full well what I was capable of, and he knew full well what I meant to him, but he wasn't demanding anything of me. He was simply making suggestions on what steps he thought would keep me safest.

Maybe things could be better this time. For the first time, maybe things could end okay for me. Maybe things didn't have to go so wrong.

I really wouldn't mind helping Aro out if he was like this. All I wanted was to avoid being treated like property. There were very few things out there that made me feel worse than that, and no doubt he knew that.

I really wouldn't mind helping Aro out if he treated me like a person and not just an extension of his gift or something he could own. If it was my choice, it wouldn't be so bad. It seemed that Aro was leaving this as an option and giving me a choice. I sure thought differently about him now. Not nearly as resentful or hostile. More open to those options than I was before.

"I suppose that's all." Aro spoke up again, "Please, Carlisle. Don't hesitate to reach out should you need assistance in the future. I will be sure to keep in touch on matters regarding Jack."

"Thank you, Aro." Carlisle replied, "Thank you as well, Chelsea."

"My pleasure." She smiled in response, giving him a nod. I sensed we were about to leave, but I had a few more questions.

"Aro?" I muttered, gaining his attention, "Can I talk to you?" I glanced over at Mikah, "Alone?"

"Of course." He replied, almost too happy to give me that answer.

"We'll wait outside." Esme offered quietly, and I nodded. Though she seemed hesitant, she also seemed to understand.

As soon as the large, heavy doors were closed behind them, Aro looked over.

"Caius?" He prompted.

"No," I said before Caius could even finish rolling his eyes, "They can stay. This is their place. Not mine." With a careful smile, Aro kneeled down.

"What is it?" He asked.

"A few things." I muttered, looking down, "First, though, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For how I acted at first. I know you said it was understandable or whatever, but I feel bad. I shouldn't have acted like that just because of a stupid vision."

"Apology wholeheartedly accepted." He replied, probably knowing that I needed that more than I needed him to tell me that it wasn't my fault.

"Thank you." I mumbled, looking back down. I took a breath as I thought about what I wanted to say next. It wasn't easy, but he'd seen everything. Thinking so much about how everything had gone so wrong before, I couldn't help being reminded so much about what happened to make it go wrong. Something I thought would be impossible before now didn't seem so impossible anymore.

"You saw everything, right?" I began, "About last time.. About what happened?"

"Yes." He answered, "But I can assure you right now that that wouldn't happen. I couldn't tell you what I could possibly have been thinking. You're far too valuable to treat you that way." I nodded a little, hesitating for a second.

"Well.." I sighed, "This is hard."

"Perhaps this would be easier." He offered his hand, "Allow me?" It would be easier. He'd know exactly what was on my mind. Other than the few seconds it took for me to understand what he was meaning, I didn't hesitate. Placing my hand in his.

It didn't take him long this time to finish looking through my mind, finding what he was looking for easily. He seemed surprised as he released my hand, slight confusion lightly coloring his expression.

"I miss him." I admitted quietly, shamefully, despite the way he already knew my reasoning, "A-And I know.. I mean.. I know he wouldn't have even been alive last time if it wasn't for you and what you did."

"You understand," He murmured after a moment, "That if I were to do that for you, it would be entirely your choice."

"I know." I replied, "I just know that it wouldn't happen without your help. They.." I glanced toward the door, "They wouldn't do that for me."

"I can understand your reasoning." He nodded a little, "I just want to be sure that you understand what doing that for you would entail."

"I know." I muttered, again shamefully, "I know it's pretty selfish, too."

"It's not selfish of you to want that again, Leandra." He said, "That bond.. Is one of the strongest known to man." He sighed, glancing down before he looked to me again and spoke once more, "How about this. I'm willing to make that happen for you, but nothing will be definite today. I'll give you time to really consider the consequences of what this would mean. You're still young. Circumstances could change very quickly for you. I'll come back, and I'll ask you for your final decision at a later time."

That was reasonable.

"Okay." I nodded. I could live with that. It also made me feel better to know that it wasn't set in stone. That I could change my mind if I needed to. He nodded as well.

Once that was out of the way, I was free to leave. Aro walked with me out of the room to find the others standing there. I knew they heard every word we said, but thankfully, I was pretty sure we were vague enough that they didn't fully understand what we'd been talking about.

There were many, _many_ unspoken things that hung around in the silence of the return trip. For really the first time since all this started, I could feel just how fragile I was. I understood how one word would have the potential to break me, considering how I was barely hanging on as it was. I felt sore and tired. Ashamed, guilty for putting everyone through so much. It felt different.

Too soon, we made it home. I knew I had to look like crap, but I also knew I probably would have no choice but to say something. Some sort of apology or explanation. In the time it took us to get home, I couldn't think of a thing.

I was the one to lead the group into the house, joining the already crowded living room. I had to wonder if anyone had even moved since we left, considering they were all here. I barely managed a brief look around, though, before I was looking down.

"Did it work?" Alice was the one that broke the extended silence.

"For the most part yes." Esme answered, and the sighs of relief had me look back down, "But it's a bit more complicated than that. We weren't willing to stay much longer, so it wasn't as effective as it would have been had Chelsea had more time."

"She still seems pretty out of it." Eli pointed out, obviously unconvinced, "Are you sure it worked?"

"That might take some time to go away." Esme replied.

"She just had her head unscrambled." Mikah defended me, "You'd be out of it too.

"And Aro just let her come back here?" Jasper asked, probably skeptical as well.

"He saw." I spoke up for the first time, only gaining the attention of the entire room, "He saw what making me stay did last time, and he doesn't want to do that this time. He wants me to trust him on my own this time, so he's not going to make me do anything I don't want to do."

"Good." Alice grumbled, "Maybe then he won't be surprised when you never choose to go to him."

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, frowning.

"You're joking, right?" She asked.

"No." I replied, "It wouldn't have been so bad last time if he hadn't made me leave before I was ready to, or if he hadn't treated me like something he owned. He's not doing that this time."

"You do realize that with your help, there will most likely be nothing that can stop him, right?" She asked.

"What's so bad about that?" I asked, "I mean, really? Someone has to be in charge, don't they? Especially if there are more out there like Jack. I'll just be making it easier for him to figure out what to do about them."

"Let's discuss this another time." Carlisle murmured in the following silence.

"He said I have time to think about it, anyway." I agreed quietly.

"Sounds like Chelsea fixed you a little too well." Emmett muttered and I glanced over at him. I'd ignore that.

"And until then?" Jasper asked, "How do we keep this whole thing from happening again?"

I hesitated, looking up at Carlisle for his answer.

"That's the problem." Carlisle sighed lightly.

"It's okay." I told him, gaining his attention, "It's okay if I have to go."

"Go?" Emmett asked.

"Aro agreed with Eli." I answered for Carlisle, "He thinks it would be safer for me to live with Heather too. He said I don't _have_ to go, but I know it'll bug him if we don't listen to what he said."

Naturally, there was a lot of the same arguing I expected. As much as it sucked, though, those who were there knew. What Aro said went, and to go against it would be stupid. They said they'd handle whatever anger Aro might show, but I didn't want that. As it was, I was okay with leaving.

Knowing they'd have a fighting chance with Aro helping them, I didn't want them to lose that because nobody let me go. With our compliance, they gained a powerful ally. It wasn't that I specifically _wanted_ to leave, but I wasn't against it either.

Because of that, the argument was settled. It would really all depend on what Heather said. I knew she was more than welcoming, and would love having me there again. It was Mike we were concerned about. I knew it was asking a lot for them to take me in again, but to my surprise, he agreed to talk about it.

I was still pretty nervous as Carlisle, Esme and I sat around the living room of Heather's house the next day. If he didn't want me to stay, what then? Given the expression on his face, I knew asking again was pushing it.

It was silent for a time, Heather now and then glancing at him while he gathered his thoughts. She had already expressed her acceptance very thoroughly, so I wasn't worried about her, but they both had to agree to make it official.

"I'm just going to say it." Mike sighed finally, "I don't know what kind of 'hard times' you folks have fallen on, but I want to make one thing clear. As much as I adore you, Leandra, that front door is not a revolving door. Do you understand what I mean by that?"

I nodded sheepishly.

"You can't keep coming and going." He went on, his tone easy now as he looked to Carlisle, "I understand that you mean for this to be temporary, but for how long? How long until she leaves again, and how long until she'll be back? I can't keep doing that, Carlisle. I really am sorry, but my family deserves stability as much as yours does."

"Of course." Carlisle replied quietly, his tone very understanding.

"So if this is something you're absolutely sure about," Mike sighed, leaning forward with his elbows rested on his knees, "Which I'm pretty sure you are, otherwise you wouldn't be here.. I'll take her in. Of course I will, and she'll be welcome here for as long as she needs to stay, but keep in mind that if she decides to leave again, that'll be it. That'll be the last time."

I looked down. I wasn't sure if that was the answer we really wanted to hear, but it was the answer we got. Considering we all knew that I needed to be here, there was very little choice in whether or not we accepted it.

Packing my things from home left me with a very low feeling. I was still trying to figure out where I stood, but I wouldn't have left if it wasn't for having to. Everyone, including me, knew that this was for the best. It just wasn't easy.

Somehow I knew, even before the third and last box of my things was carried into my room at Heather's house, that this would probably be longer than we were thinking before. To give me a chance to adjust again, Hunter had been moved into the master bedroom with Heather and Mike. Things were a bit crowded now.

Esme stood with me in my 'new' room for a moment, the silence dragging on as I looked around. I hadn't really unpacked yet, since all of Hunter's things hadn't yet been moved out. Just a few pictures and personal things to make it easier on me.

"It's better this way." I muttered, mostly to myself, "I know it, but.."

Without waiting, Esme reached over and hugged me. I couldn't describe the sadness that the action caused me. As much as I'd put them through, and as much as I'd gone through with them lately, this was hard.

"It'll be okay." I whimpered, closing my eyes, "Please tell me it'll be okay."

"Everything will be fine." She replied softly, "I promise."

I didn't believe her. Maybe it was the ripping pain I felt in my heart, or the desperate way I didn't want to let her go, but I didn't feel comforted. She might not have really noticed it herself, but everything was changing.

I was now standing on the edge between the life I had before, and one I was about to start. It didn't matter how long I'd be here. Things would be much different when I finally did go home. I would be much different.

I laid awake in my bed that night, nothing on my mind but my family. I wondered how long it'd take me to learn how to treat this as more than just a small vacation. How long it'd take me before I finally admitted to myself that this was more than just some overnight stay.

I knew my family was probably outside, watching the house, but I never looked. I couldn't let myself look. I stayed in bed, eyes closed, forcing myself to ignore the ache I constantly felt in my heart. The lump in my throat. I had yet to cry. As much as I wanted to, I wouldn't let myself. I refused, because I knew that if I did, I'd never stop.

I couldn't keep looking to them to get me through these dark times. I had to face this, and as much as I wanted to deny it, our lives were separate now. I'd fallen onto my own path, but even I couldn't predict just how separate our paths would be.

 **END**

 **A/N: I know this took so long to come out. My life has gotten so crazy busy, but I'm glad I finally found the time to get this out before it got even busier. I sincerely hope this chapter was worth the long wait, and I really hope it didn't seem too rushed.  
Little KNeu and I are in the home stretch, so to speak, and I know that this will always be a part of my life, despite his impending arrival.  
THANK YOU! To those reviewers that have always stuck by me! I can't even begin to tell you how amazingly awesome you guys are! But THANK YOU! to those that still choose to review, even now.  
There will be another story after this, but I can already tell you that updating won't be as frequent as it has been in the past. I will be updating, though, and we'll be seeing where it goes from there. Okay? Okay. :)  
Again, THANK YOU! To all of you who've come this far with us, and I can't wait to see you all again in the next story.  
Until then, my wonderful friends! :D  
**


	19. AN

**A/N**

Hey guys!  
I just wanted to poke my head back up and let all my followers know that I haven't forgotten about you guys. Far from it.  
RL has been more demanding than I've ever experienced before. Some days are better than others, but I'm doing what I can to adjust. :)  
As for details, it's about to get real.  
Little KNeu was born on June 7th- One day passed my due date. After roughly twenty hours of early labor, almost seven hours of active labor, six pounds of gorgeous baby boy came into this world smoothly, and things haven't slowed down yet. Many, many sleepless nights so far, but somehow, it's okay. As tired as I am, and as exhausted as I get sometimes, there is absolutely no feeling in the world like looking into his eyes. It's breathtaking and terrifying at the same time. To feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, but having no choice but to just do it.  
Anyhoo lol I'll quit boring you guys with that and move on.  
As for updates on the story front, I have a bit written already. It's just waiting on me to find more time to concentrate on it. I definitely do intend to continue. It's coming, guys. I promise.  
As far as I can tell right now, it's definitely a direction I've never actually really gone before. I've dabbled a bit, but not like this. Expect a lot of drama, the return of a long-missed character, and a decent twist. Trust me. I was just as surprised as you guys surely will be. ;)  
As always, feel free to message me should you have any questions or comments, or just want to chat. Any and all correspondence is very welcome. If only to have one more person to talk to lol  
But as for now, a baby monitor tells me it's about time I get back to reality for the time being. :)  
Until next time, guys. ****

**-KNeu21**


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